cats freaking out

Lay on Boop

So our group was on a quest to recur some kid’s cat and we’d found it on the opposite side of a river. As it was too deep to ford and too wide to cast any spells at the cat from the riverbank, the paladin waded out neck deep into the water, carrying me (the wizard) bridal style so I could Mage Hand this cat over to us without getting swept away by the current. This is when the following exchange took place.

DM: Once the cat is safely in your arms, you realize it’s not breathing.

Wizard: Gods. I. I think it’s dead.

Paladin: (looks at me, dead serious) Wizard. Boop me on the nose.

Wizard: What.

Paladin: Boop me on the nose with the dead cat.

Wizard: WHAT!?

Paladin: You’ll notice I’m not moving from this spot.

Wizard: (looks nervously around at the rushing water) Okay, okay fine, I’ll boop you with the cat.

Paladin: (to DM) Okay, I want to roll for Lay on Hands.

DM: Roll it, but take a -2 penalty.

Paladin: I Lay on Boop the cat! (rolls)

Long story short, the paladin rolled ridiculously high, her Lay on Boop succeeded, the cat woke up and freaked out, and we barely managed to make it safely to shore.

Malfoy's Cat and The Necessary Rules for Survival

               Gossip is a constant but unfortunate norm at Hogwarts. Before the war, it was over superficial things; who was dating who, was that really their nose or just a glamour, or even who was to be blamed for the loss of fans for professional Quidditch?

                After the war, the gossip changed. Oh, it was still about who is dating who, no that really is a glamour and the popular consensus was that it was entirely the Chudley Cannons fault for the downfall of Quidditch fans.

                But…

                Something else was bothering a lot of students. Draco Malfoy.

                There was a margin of people that disliked the Slytherin because of who he was. Snarky, rude, pretentious, ex-Death Eater, all around bastard and current boyfriend of one Harry Potter.

                However, the majority of the students were too distracted to notice all of that. The appearance of the cold blonde for his eighth year was overshadowed by Malfoy’s cat.

                A small, tiny, little kitten. The cat was so small that most people worried it had been taken from its mother too soon. Which was a strike against Malfoy. Some suspected by the cat’s incredibly disheveled black fur, that the Slytherin didn’t properly care for the poor thing either. Not to mention the feline was left to its own devices a lot of the time. The cat could be seen running around the halls chasing peeves, sprinting outside chasing butterflies, or racing down corridors in pursuit of bullies.

                Because, yes, Malfoy’s kitten disliked anyone speaking negatively of others. Which was honestly ironic considering the cat loved Malfoy. That much was obvious by the loud purring the animal would emit at the sight of the Slytherin.

                The cat was the main topic of conversation, even half-way through the year.

                “It’s got to be a devil-cat.” Justin whispered to his friends, the whisper carried around the quiet of the library.

                “I heard that it’s claws are sharper than knives.” Ernie told them sagely.

                “The eyes are where you can tell it’s really evil. They just follow you around wherever you go.” Mumbled Michael as he looked around to make sure the cat wasn’t in sight.

                “The cat freaks me out.” Hannah piped up. “I can’t live like this!”

                 “Sounds like you all need some rules to abide by, to ensure you don’t anger the evil cat.” Luna sing-songed on her to put away a book.   

                That had them all scrambling to get close and begin arguing over the best guideline for survival. Word of mouth passed quickly and by lunchtime a list was being formed.

                Malfoy’s Cat and the Necessary Rules for Survival.

——————————————————————————–

 Rule Number One: Don’t insult, hex, curse, sneer at, or judge Malfoy.

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it’s always sunny in philadelphia sentence starters!

❝ Could we not base our decisions on what does and doesn’t happen in episodes of Scooby-Doo? ❞
❝ Look at me, psychological damage up to here! ❞
❝ I have contained my rage for as long as possible, but I shall unleash my fury upon you like the crashing of a thousand waves! ❞
❝ Am I gay for God? You betcha. ❞
❝ Be gone, vile man! Be gone from me! ❞
❝ Well first of all, through God all things are possible, so jot that down. ❞
❝ Yeah, but we didn’t come here to play with  stray dogs and trash, man. ❞
❝ Oh, get a job? Just get a job? Why don’t I strap on my job helmet and squeeze into a job cannon and fire off into job land where jobs grow on jobbies?! ❞
❝ I’m eating because I’m very uncomfortable. ❞
❝ I’m gonna have a really hard time if we’re both cannibals and racists. ❞
❝ I dropped my monster condom that I use for my magnum dong. ❞
❝ Everybody’s dying, bitch. Let’s get you some fruit. ❞
❝ When I’m dead, just throw me in the trash. ❞
❝ I will smack your face off of your face! ❞
❝ Take care of yourself… or whatever people say. ❞
❝ We all have cats we’d like to be playing with right now. ❞
❝ I will eat your babies, bitch! ❞
❝ I’m relaxing, I’m getting blackout drunk, and you’re leaving me alone. ❞
❝ Later, boners! ❞
❝ Do not call these shorts white trash! ❞
❝ If some old boner gives me attitude, I’m gonna spit in his face. ❞
❝ I eat stickers all the time, dude! ❞
❝ I’ve got the stride of a gazelle. A beautiful, beautiful gazelle person. ❞
❝ You know, you light one bitch on fire and everyone freaks out! ❞
❝ Cats do not abide by the laws of nature, you don’t know shit about cats. ❞
❝ If you don’t have car insurance, you better have dental, because I am going to smash your teeth into dust! ❞
❝ I can go from flaccid to erect in a moment’s notice. ❞
❝ I mean, trees? Everywhere trees?! What the hell is this place? ❞
❝ I’ll tell you what’s not cool: crashing my car into a building, exploding a grenade inside of it, and then convincing your friends and family that you’re dead! ❞
❝ Oh my God! She just ate an entire sleeve of Chips Ahoy! ❞
❝ Hello fellow American, this you should vote me. I leave power. Good. Thank you, thank you. If you vote me, I’m hot. Taxes, they’ll be lower… son. The democratic vote is the right thing to do, so do. ❞
❝ I stepped in front of a bus and it missed me. I can’t even get a bus to hit on me. ❞
❝ I’m having feelings again, like some kind of fourteen year old kid or something. ❞
❝ I don’t think these dogs have masters, I think they play by their own rules. ❞
❝ I have a bleached asshole! ❞
❝ With real power comes real responsibility and I don’t want to do any of that shit. I just want the money… and the illusion of power. ❞

There are so many things I love about Skin Deep and Rumbelle.

But one of my absolute favourite twists on OUAT is that their Beauty and the Beast story starts with ending a war. I… can’t really explain why, but the idea that Beauty in this story is not simply making a deal with the Beast to save her father (or -in some versions-  is basically being sold by her father who already made the deal with the Beast so he would let him go home), this Beauty is a peacemaker. OUAT’s Belle is a nobelwoman in a town under siege. A nobelwoman in a war council room, who is kind and gentle but at the same time has this incredible strength to her. She is someone who is not just capable of finding solutions that others wouldn’t have thought of (in this case summoning the Dark One) she is also the person who is willing to make the ultimate sacrifice to save her people. The stakes are much higher than in any other BatB adaptation I know and that just gives this really interesting vibe to that very first scene. 

But it’s not just that it made (at least to me) Belle someone who is instantly a fascinating character. I also love how the Ogre Wars are something that played an extremely important role in both Rumple’s and Belle’s lives. 

I mean, here we have these two people who couldn’t come from more different backgrounds, born 300 years apart… and yet… war brings them together, in a way. The same kind of war, that so long ago ruined Rumplestiltskin’s life and ultimately made him who he is (after all if there were no Ogre Wars, he wouldn’t have become the Dark One). 

But it’s also interesting what kind of role they played in the Ogre Wars. Rumple was a soldier, who suffered because the nobels who ruled that territory (probably) couldn’t care less for their subjects. Rumple in that situation didn’t have any power or privilege. 300 years later he is the one with all the power, and I don’t think it’s a coincidence that he finds himself fascinated by- and later falls for this young noblewoman, who is willing to give up all her privilege and her freedom to save her own subjects. Belle becomes what Rumplestiltskin once was (a peasant/servant, someone whose life is basically in the hands of their master(s)) -what fate he later escaped from!- willingly, so she can save people like Spinner Rumple and Bae. And I don’t think that’s something Rumplestiltskin saw many times in his long life. 

There are many important things about Rumbelle, and the Ogre Wars being a shared experience (even if from totally different POV’s - but imo, that’s what makes it interesting) is probably not one of the most important ones. But damn, it’s fascinating.

Okay but like???

Does anyone else notice how similar Adrien Agreste and Austin Moon are?

Both blonde, both adorable and sweet. They’re fiercely loyal and passionate. They’re famous but still go to school because they want to have a normal-ish childhood. Both have a fun side that not too many people see; only close friends. They’re multi-talented and have a go-with-the-flow best friend. And they both totally have crushes on their shorter, female friend who they respect and admire?

Same with Ally Dawson and Marinette Dupain Cheng. Both super shy in general but come to be confident in their abilities and who they are. They’ve got a really incredible talent that they love. Both have firey best friends that adore them and will back them up for anything. And they both are awkward around crushes. They both have partners who are just partners at first but they become so much more than that as time goes on and they work more together.

I’m sorry I just have so many feelings about this and there are probably about 4 people out there who agree but I needed to make this mainly for myself.

Basically, what I’m saying is that I really need someone to make a MiraculousLadybug!AU for Austin & Ally.

FACE REVEAL!

Hey, what’s up, I’m Issa! I’m a small, Asian 14 year old girl with way too many cat shirts and an art blog.

I’m biro/ace and I’m in love with my really pretty straight friend. Happy pride month!

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For my @Victorious fans! :) @ArianaGrande and @LizGillies singing “Give It Up” on #FreakTheFreakOut