catholic chruch

illuminati summary
  • okay so i've done months and months of research on the illuminati and i put my findings into a simple script summary
  • [~WAY BACK IN THE DAY IN ENGLAND~]
  • ROMAN CATHOLIC CHURCH: this is the bible and it's everything u need to know. nothing else is true
  • ADAM WEISHAUPT: um but what if theres more to know out there
  • ROMAN CATHOLIC CHURCH: follow what the bible says or we're gonna kill you assholes
  • ADAM WEISHAUPT: what the fuck?? fine [creates secret enlightenment group called Illuminati]
  • ILLUMINATI MEMBERS: [are basically all knowledge thirsty and look for cool new science things like the fact that the earth revolves around the sun and isn't the center of the universe]
  • ROMAN CATHOLIC CHURCH: hey what the fuck do u think ur doing
  • ILLUMINATI: enlightenment
  • ROMAN CATHOLIC CHURCH: YEAH BUT WHY ARE U SO SECRET TOWARDS US? WHAT DO YOU DO IN THERE SUMMON DEMONS AND SHIT?? YOU PROBABLY ARE THE LIL SPAWNS OF SATAN
  • ILLUMINATI: [isn't religious at all] what are u even going on about wtf
  • ROMAN CATHOLIC CHURCH: HEY EVERYONE THE ILLUMINATI IS BASICALLY SATAN AND THEY SUMMON DEMONS AND ARE AGAINST THE LORD THEYRE EVIL
  • ILLUMINATI: um ok??
  • ROMAN CATHOLIC CHURCH: [spreads shit lies about the illuminati]
  • ROMAN CATHOLIC CHRUCH: [eventually get rekt somehow and collapse]
  • ILLUMINATI: hey guys we dont need to be secretive anymore! [spreads their findings and enlightenment stuff]
  • RCC FOLLOWERS: what the fuck go away satan scum
  • RCC FOLLOWERS: [add on more bullshit theories and false conspiracies over centuries]
  • and now we're here. everything else you heard before about "evil satanism devil 666 triangl XD" shit is all false as hell, made up by the roman catholic church. literally the illuminati were awesome people who did secretive studies, experiments and they were the ones who discovered all that cool information in your science textbooks