catheter

So for my history final last year everyone was given information on a made up country called Petryn, a combination of the two history teachers’ names: Peter and Kathryn. On the first day of the project I just asked “WHY NOT CATHETER” and my group just looked at me and I was like “I THINK IT SOUNDS NICE”

tl;dr my partners for my history final had to explain to me what a catheter is

5

I hate riding on trains, but beeing cathetered, caged and padded makes it a tad better. ;) As you maybe can see in the last pic I already used my Attends a bit, a dry diaper isn’t a real diaper anyway ;)

BTW: I’m getting really horny in the cage by now…I don’t know how to survive the next weeks without cumming but I agreed to her conditions to stay locked at least until September.
Ok, I kind of like this whole thing, since I (sometimes) love beeing under her control.

So here goes. I was inspired by both kali-ddong (I think she deactivated, I’m so sad) and mattjosephdiaz​. This is my dialysis catheter. It’s a foot and a half long tube that comes out of my abdomen, basically from another bellybutton. It’s usually hidden in a belt (as seen on the left) and under my clothes, but it tends to still be visible through my shirt, and the tube tends to slip out and hang out from under my clothing. Sometimes I have to lift my shirt and adjust it because it’s being tugged or is twisted. The looks I get when people see my catheter blow my mind. Sometimes it’s confusion, others, pity. But the ones that get to me the most are the looks of disgust. Like this factor in my life that I cannot control makes me disgusting and inhuman. Let’s just say that hasn’t helped my self esteem much at all. 

I was never really comfortable in my own skin. But it was something I was working on really hard. I’m not the skinniest person out there and I always had trouble finding myself beautiful. My confidence was really shook when I was diagnosed with kidney disease over two years ago, the same time I was starting college. It thankfully didn’t affect my first year of college too much, but everything got turned on it’s head December of last year.  I had just gotten home for winter break when I got a call from my nephrologist telling me that my numbers had gotten way worse in just a couple of months and that I needed to start dialysis PRONTO. A week later I went under the knife and came out with a new hole in both my stomach and my confidence. Ever since it has been a fight to try and feel okay about how I look. Dialysis also means bloating with fluid at unexpected times, leaving me to deal with a fluctuating weight and a bloated face and fingers. 

It’s taken a lot of strength to post this photo out in the open. But I feel it’s time to stop judging people on “flaws” and things that make us different. Sure, I may not always have this tube in me, but I’ll always have the scars to remember it. My battle scars. One day I am going to accept them. One day I am going to love them. I am going to love all of me. So next time you see someone who has something a little “different” about them keep in mind that they may be the most beautiful person you’ve ever met. You just have to get to know them