catfish series

Literally every single person on catfish

Nev: Do you have his number?
Girl: oh yeah ima give you his new number cause he recently bought the new iphone so he changed the number
Max: So you both have an iPhone and you guys never facetimed before?
Girl: oh because when he opened the box the phone fell out and his camera got busted and he didn’t get no insurance on it
Max: ………
*Nev goes outside and dials the number of the catfish*
Nev: Yes hello? So I’m Nev from catfish on MTV and I’m basically asking you to humiliate yourself on television by telling everyone that you secretly like to pretend you’re a model in your spare time. Is that okay?
Catfish: oh yeah sure! I have been rejecting the idea of meeting that girl for the past 10 years but since it’s you who called, why not be filmed while doing it?
Nev: Cool, cool.

8

Didney do it.

3

Catfished : Episode 13 - The Fight : part 2

“WHEN WILL YOU BOYS EVER LEARN?!” you scream at the turtles, fire spiraling up your arm like a snake to submission,

Leo joins his brothers, lining up in front of you, “Guys, I have a game plan” he whispers, 
“Finally.” Raph doesn’t care to whisper,
“Donnie you think you could get to the cabinet just behind her”
“I think my chances are small if she spots me”
“Don’t worry about her, we’ll keep her distracted, just get to the cabinet and get the purple ooze”

His brothers for moment, maybe for the first time, questions his choices, he answers their unasked questions “She needs it in the heart. It’s our only chance to save her”

Keep reading

7

THE SEEKING ARRANGEMENT BILLIONAIRE CATFISH mini series. The MOST COMPLEX story about Seeking Arrangement you’ll ever read

Most of you guys don’t even know about the catfish that came on seeking arrangements during the summer of 2013. Pay very careful attention to what I’m about to tell you. This individual had a picture of him standing in front of a vintage Rolls Royce at a car show. He also had a picture of him sitting in a private jet, but if you look closely in the mirror, you can see someone taking a picture of him. Literally everybody and their mother was contacting him.

He had a profile with figures listed over 1 million income and over 100 million in assets. He said he was lonely in his profile and looking for a companion to share all he had…His homes, his jets, his fleet of luxury cars. He’s a big nerdy guy, but that’s the kind I go for We had favorited each other, and I was more interested in learning about him as a person. So I asked him to tell me more about himself and who he is looking for.

Several weeks went by, but I was busy with another guy I knew, that manage to come across my profile on SA. What I already had was unfortunately extremely limited, being that that guy lives in Hawaii. He’s married so there’s really no hope of a relationship and a stable situation for me.

As this one winds down, the catfish Robbie gets into gear and I take him to email. So he responds, but not with very much, so I put him through my process of finding common ground by giving a form summary of who I am, background, interests and likes. He responds back telling me he likes what I’ve told him. I seem to be the only one who gets him. So I ask him what he’s looking for and explain my circumstance. And he is interested in someone that can travel with him and enjoy all that’s been earned. Doesn’t have to work. He was fine with the idea of a kept guy.

So eventually we move our dialogue to the phone. He’s definitely eccentric, which is something I look for in wealthy individuals, but then the first red flag came up, and I paid no attention and decided not to bite when he started to mention having a AMEX BLACK CARD. I’ve seen it before, even saw an Amex rep that told me the spending qualifications 250k annual minimum for the invite. So we have about a 30 minute conversation, and we would chat by Skype on the next one.

So I left a message saying I enjoyed the conversation and look forward to talking again. I managed to find a Twitter account, and what I discovered was quite disturbing to me. A lot of cyber bullying and contradictions through the feed. I could relate though. There were a couple of celebs on his follower list, one who is (cough) president you know his name and the other is Roseanne Barr. A tweet was sent to you know who asking if he knew this Robbie. Never was responded to! In a later entry I will tell you how Robbie emulates you know who… Another tweet sent to Roseanne, and that wasn’t responded to either. His twitter acct is loaded with questionable displays, Rolls Royce phantom in the drive way of a different house than the Lexus LS 460 was taken from. The guy is a Rolex fanatic of all models. He just loved his OLDER model of Datejust Rolex the most. Fine, who am I to say why a mid 30s guy likes a watch a 70yr old would wear. The Twitter account should have been my next red flag. Oh yeah he also had a picture of him stepping off a business Boeing jet, but he looks dressed like shit. Maybe Howard Hughes incarnate ? His Facebook also has an interior shot of a home, but this house was not built facing the ocean as he claims to live in on Ocean Drive in Palm Beach. It was built facing the intercoastal. Also love to show limos off.


Anyway I try to relate to the haters that he has on his Twitter and Facebook, because I have dealt with the same kind of people elsewhere on the net, but for a week again he just vanished with no responses. He resurfaced claiming to be sick but wants to get up to D.C.. That should’ve been the next red flag going up, but I try to give him the benefit of the doubt. This is quite a busy time for me in sugaring, plus I am thinking about moving to LA to try my hand there. DC is not really the place for sugar daddies. I have someone I’m meeting in Sept from Dallas, but in the meantime I want to see how this plays out.

So I tell him I’m moving out to LA soon, and to let me know about meeting before I leave. He sends me a mail back saying that he could have his jet pick me up anytime. I said let me know about your dates you would be able to have a guest. This is where everything I was ignoring, couldn’t be with no response to dates or time frame. He just dropped off again, only to surface a few days before my LA trip being in the hospital. Apparently has blood thinning issues, but I’m not really worried about him now with my focus on this LA guy, but trust me it’s not the end from here. I revisit this in about four months, and dive really deep in an intricate juggling act of stories and claims with multiple guys involved.

Let’s not spoil it, but when I get done, you’ll never look at an outdoor picture posed by any symbol of wealth from anyone the same again. After you learn about all this you’ll be wiser for the wear.

October 11th, 2014 - Catfish: The TV Show

AUTHOR: justa-fangirl

11th of October, 2014 - Catfish: The TV Show

“So, Alfred. Tell us about Arthur.”

Alfred’s eyes lit up instantly, shining almost as brightly as his mega-watt smile.

“Arthur Kirkland is the greatest guy in the entire world!” the American babbled excitedly. “He’s funny and sweet and insanely smart – it’s no wonder he’s become so rich and successful this young ‘cause he’s just so amazing! And he’s so freaking hot, too! I mean, I’ve only seen him in photos, but they’re all awesome. And I know we’ve never spoken on the phone but apparently he’s got a full on English accent and I just – ”

Alfred ended his sentence in a prepubescent squeal, and did not seem at all embarrassed.

Francis and Elizabeta, on the other hand, shared a wary look between them, both wincing internally.

God, this kid was deluded!

If there was one thing the two TV presenters had learnt from making their documentary series ’Catfish’, it was that if someone on the Internet sounded too good to be true, that meant they were probably a lie. Most people understood this, knowing the Internet could be a dangerous place to start a romance. That’s why it was Francis and Elizabeta’s job on this show to help people find out if their Internet partner was real or just another sneaky 'catfish’: someone who lied about their identity online to trick people.

But sadly, Alfred F. Jones was a small-town farm boy, innocent and naïve and far too trusting, so he was totally convinced that his rich, sexy, English online boyfriend was real. He seemed to have no idea that he was obviously being played by some Internet creep.

“So you’ve never actually spoken to Arthur on the phone?” Francis probed carefully, as Elizabeta zoomed in with her camera to capture Alfred’s clueless face. “And you’ve never done a video chat?”

Alfred shook his head, but didn’t seem to catch on to Francis’s train of thought. “No, Arthur’s not really a technical guy so he doesn’t have Skype, and he didn’t want to get into texting with me 'cause he hates his phone’s tiny keypad.”

Francis sighed softly, and reached out to take one of Alfred’s hands in his, patting it tenderly. “Alfred,” he began gently. “The story Arthur’s fed you over Facebook rings a few alarm bells that we’ve come to recognise on this TV series as being signs that your boyfriend might be a catfish. And I think your cousin Matthew recognised those warning signs, too, and that’s why he asked us to come here and help you.”

Alfred glanced between the two presenters, looking lost and helpless. “I thought Mattie signed me up for the show so you could help me meet Arthur in person! I didn’t know you guys all thought he was a catfish!”

“Let’s just consider the evidence,” said Francis, holding up a finger as he counted off the dreaded clues. “Arthur’s Facebook page only has a few Friends and photos, as if it’s a quick fake account someone’s whipped up,” the French presenter elaborated.

“He just hates social networking…” Alfred argued meekly.

Francis held up a second finger, unperturbed. “He says he cares about you, but he won’t talk on the phone or video chat with you.” A third finger. “And you’ve asked him three times now if you can fly out to see him, and he said no.”

Francis trailed off to allow Alfred time to digest the information, but Alfred quickly shook his head in dismissal.

“I know this all sounds scary and dramatic,” Elizabeta said sympathetically from behind the camera lens. “But what Francis is trying to say is just to keep your guard up. People can be whoever they want to be online, so you shouldn’t blindly believe everything Arthur’s told you. He may have genuine feelings for you, as he says, but if he’s refused to meet you in person that means he obviously has something to hide, at least. We don’t know who this guy really is. So just…don’t get your hopes up too high, okay?”

Alfred nodded miserably, and Elizabeta and Francis left Alfred’s home feeling just as bad as the poor boy looked.

They honestly hadn’t set out to make such a morbid show about liars and heartbreak, as ’Catfish’ had sadly turned out to be. Both Francis and Elizabeta were advocates of love of all kinds, and determined to denounce the stigmas about online relationships and Internet dating. But the more they worked on ’Catfish’, the more pessimistic the two presenters became. It seemed that no matter how many people they tried to help with online relationships, all they met were lies and deceit.

And now poor Alfred was going to get his heart broken just like all the others, and Francis and Elizabeta couldn’t help but feel guilty as they pulled up outside Arthur Kirkland’s house a few days later to film the climactic confrontation between the Internet couple. They were the ones who’d flown Alfred all the way to this city halfway across the country, just so he could get his heart broken on national television. When had their show lost its way? When had they grown so pessimistic about love? They almost wanted to turn back and put a stop to it all.

But they had a show to finish, and Alfred deserved answers.

It was Francis who moved first. He took a deep breath, gestured for Elizabeta to pick up her camera, and they began filming the climax of their episode, resigning themselves to the inevitable.

“Well, this is the address he gave us,” said Francis suspiciously, as they got out of the car. The big town house and the pretty downtown neighbourhood – it was all too perfect, just like the rest of Arthur Kirkland’s story. “I will go and see if he’s in. You two wait here and I’ll bring him down.”

Francis climbed the small flight of stone steps to the porch, and rapped upon the red front door. Alfred stayed behind, holding his breath as he gazed up at the house.

Finally, the door opened a crack, and Elizabeta swung her camera towards the house, feeling Alfred go rigid beside her. Francis was in the way, and the door was only opened a sliver so they couldn’t see through the gap to the man inside. Francis was having a quick, hushed conversation, it was impossible to tell what was going on…

And then Francis moved aside, and a young man emerged into the light. He looked exactly like the photos Alfred had shown them on Arthur’s Facebook page: silky fair hair, bright green eyes, devastatingly handsome… The only surprise was the pair of monstrous dark eyebrows on his face, for the photos Arthur posted on Facebook were cropped right above the eyes to hide them.

Elizabeta was frozen in shock – she really hadn’t expected “Arthur Kirkland” to look anything like the stunning photos he’d posted online. This was almost a first on ’Catfish.’

“Arthur!”

Elizabeta swung her camera back to Alfred, who had taken a step towards the house, his face alight with joy and relief.

“Alfred? It…It can’t be!” the other man gasped (the English accent was apparently real after all).

For some reason, Arthur was the one who looked most surprised. Here were Francis, Elizabeta and Alfred, who’d come all this way expecting to meet a fraud, and Arthur was the one with wide eyes, clutching his heart as if he were seeing a ghost.

Alfred laughed. “Of course it can! I told you I’d find a way to get to you some day! I know you said you were scared to meet face to face and I’m sorry to surprise you like this - but look, if it’s about your eyebrows, I don’t care! I love them! I love everything about you!”

“…But you’re not real!”

Alfred blinked for a moment in silent confusion, then he laughed aloud. “What are you talking about? I’m right here!”

“But you were too perfect!” Arthur insisted, taking a few steps down towards the pavement and to Alfred. “I knew you were just some catfish online, but I was tired of being lonely so I let myself enjoy your attention a little while and promised myself not to fall for you. But then I did, like an idiot, and when you said you wanted to meet I knew I couldn’t because you were all a lie and – ”

“Wait just a moment,” Francis interrupted. He walked halfway down the steps to stand between Arthur and Alfred, who were drawing ever closer to each other. “You thought Alfred was the catfish?”

“Well, of course!” Arthur exclaimed, as if it were obvious. “He was too perfect! He’s so genuine and warm-hearted and he makes me feel better just seeing his name online. And look at him, for God’s sake! He's…He’s perfect…” Arthur trailed off, his gaze drifting to Alfred’s and staying there as the two men gazed at each other. “I thought you were trying to trick me…But I still fell for you.”

“I never lied to you,” Alfred said fervently, taking another step towards Arthur, who was now almost at the bottom of the stairs. “They tried to tell me you were the catfish,” he added, smiling. “That you were too good to be true. But I knew…I knew you had to be real. I loved you too much.”

By now they were standing face to face at the bottom of the stairs, Elizabeta zooming in her camera to the misty-eyed expression they shared between them.

“You really love me?” Arthur asked. “Even though we’ve never met?”

“We’ve met now,” Alfred grinned, his hands slipping reverently into Arthur’s and squeezing gently. “And I love you even more.”

Arthur’s smile was slow, as if he were trying to hold it back, but eventually it escaped and spread across his face, mirroring Alfred’s own blissful grin.

“I love you, too.”

The starry-eyed gazing was too much even for Elizabeta at this point, and she’d got all the footage she could need (or handle) for now. They could come back tomorrow for an interview with the happy couple, but for now, she and Francis could slip away, knowing they’d got a hit episode and remembering, once again, just what they were working for in the first place.