Charlie was outside the door of Han’s room, unable to figure out what his next move was. He knew Han could see him but the person he wanted to talk to the most didn’t do anything to talk to him. His heart was racing, dropping up and down his body, making it impossible to think.
Finally, he knocked.
Who are you?
“Han. It’s me, Chaz… The Queen of Hearts.” He didn’t like the LED screen. He didn’t like that he couldn’t hear Han’s voice. He just wanted to her Han’s voice.
But obviously he didn’t want to hear that being said. "Han, I didn’t mean it.“
Go away, Queen Heartbreaker.
"Han, please. I’m sorry.” Charlie begged. He didn’t like where this was going. He didn’t really mean those words he said. He might have meant it a little bit but it wasn’t meant to hurt Han. He never intentionally meant to hurt Han because he doesn’t want to hurt Han. He loved Han.
Sorry doesn’t make it better. It doesn’t cut it, Charlie.
But Han didn’t seem to be letting go of that fact. Charlie leaned his head against the door. “Just let me in… I want to talk to you.”
Too bad, I don’t want to talk to YOU. Go away.
“Please, Han. Come on. You know I love you. Let’s talk."
How am I supposed to trust you again? When you went behind my back and said those words.
"I didn’t really mean them!”
Yeah, it sounded like you did. This is how I live, Charlie. If you can’t REALLY respect that then I don’t know how this is going to work out.
“But Han! I’m sorry! I truly am! I’ll-I’ll even beg. Grovel! I’m sorry.”
Just go away, Charlie. Go. Away.
“Han.” Charlie whined and the screen just went black again. He stared at it, willing it to speak again. “Han… Han!” But it didn’t. It didn’t even blink. There was not a flash, not a squiggle. There was nothing on the screen. “Don’t do this, Han.” He said, slamming his forehead into the door. “Please."
Charlie stayed there for the next hour in silence, hoping that him being there would make Han open the door. But he didn’t. Han already turned the cameras elsewhere and anything unmoving and pointing to Charlie was turned off. He didn’t want to see him anymore. He didn’t want to feel anything.
It was a bad idea from the start. And just when he started to really go out of his room just for the sake of spending time with Charlie, he goes out and talks how strange Han is, how stupid Han is, how dumb his merch is. He was much safer here in his room, with his computers.
Who needs him? He thought bitterly. Who needs the outside world? I’ve got all I need right here.
He leaned back into his chair, playing one of the movies he’s downloaded and wiped away any insignificant tear, ignored any pang of sadness, loneliness, hurt or forgiveness. The only time, the only time he considered liking being outside, it was dashed by everything Charlie had said.
He gulped and put his legs up from the floor and wrapped his arms around himself as the movie played. Who needs him? I certainly didn’t long before. I’m going to do that again.