catered

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do you ever just get hit with a truckload of inspiration from reading a fic because????? i have

this is a gift for @adreamingsongbird!! THANK YOU FOR WRITING SUCH A BEAUTIFUL AND AMAZING FIC!! and for answering my questions about their clothes lmaoo  

(you could read this beautiful fic here!! that’s right read it >>here<< and you should definitely read it right now at this moment because it’s great and i’m in love and did i mention that it’s beautiful???

Bitty’s not-so-secret Patreon

Bitty sets up a patreon with a low monthly goal to offset the cost of his baking supplies, offering rewards like early video access, Skype cooking lessons, and personalized recipes. At higher tiers Bitty will actually cook for you: $75 gets you an overnighted dessert, etc. 

His normal viewers snatch up the rewards quickly, but it’s still not quite enough now that he’s baking for SMH and several Falconers.

Jack himself has been banned from pledging, but that doesn't stop him from telling his teammates about the site; wealthy, young, hungry teammates who promptly start trying to one up each other to get the ‘best’ rewards.

But the Falconers pledges are soon dwarfed by an anonymous donor who’s French and French-Canadian dessert rewards must be delivered by courier to an unknown destination. Since these requests seem to coincide with Jack’s home games, Bitty is sure the donor is actually his boyfriend and he plays along, dutifully handing off secret packages several times a month. 

At least, Bitty thinks this is the case until a few months later when Alicia comes for a visit and asks that Eric please stop sending food because Bob’s been cheating on his diet using Eric as a middle-man.

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              The Ladies of Shipwrecked Present: Vintage Disney Villains!

We had so much fun on our Gotham Sirens shoot earlier this year that we wanted to do it again, only this time embodying our very favorite evil Disney ladies. Thanks again to our resident photographer/photo editor David Cater and his lovely wife Genevieve Swords for helping us bring Ursula, Cruella, and Maleficent to life in this way! Who shall we vintage-ify next? Only time will tell, you poor, unfortunate souls!

i see your ‘rose and kanaya going out on romantic candlelit gourment dinners’ date and raise you ‘rose dragging kanaya out to a graveyard to summon the spirits of the undead, eating cold lunchmeat on a tomb with paper plates, and making out behind a tombstone’ date

BECAUSE THIS IS ALL IVE BEEN DOING FOR THE PAST FEW MONTHS, have a catering au~ 

Rhys is the owner and he’s pretty much the best boss anyone could ever have. Quality pay.  Good manners. Everything runs smoothly under him. 

Amren is the manager under him, but no one ever sees her do anything. She shows up to events and probably orders linen or something and she always has an opaque starbucks cup in hand that never has coffee in it. No one’s sure what she drinks but they just know that you don’t mess with Amren’s stuff. Always well dressed, usually black slacks and a pristine, pressed shirt with a statement necklace every time.  Never eats any of the food despite being around it 24/7.

Mor manages the staff and is ON HER GAME. She sends out a prompt, color coordinated schedule every week and everyone’s times are always perfect. She knows what she’s about. She’s pretty hands on with running everything, and always makes an effort to check in on every event and help run them. She’s also the only one to show up at a 6 am shift on a saturday morning still in her club dress from the night before with heels in hand (she always keeps a change of clothes in her office for nights like those). Always keeps things fun, especially on long days and always brings in snacks for everyone in the mornings and organizes a work party for every excuse she can. (They definitely have monthly parties to celebrate everyone’s birthday in that month)

Cassian, oh Cassian… is the chef. The kitchen is loud and he’s usually laughing and he always, always keeps his hair in a bun and fills out his jacket very nicely (Nesta approves). His food is to die for and he’s always throwing in a few extra things he whips up for the staff. He comes with them to events to help plate food and will check up on the crowd to make sure they like everything. Could probably take a rack out of an oven and not feel a thing. Fingertips are probably burned off at this point, it’s a running joke that if anything is too hot to carry, Cass can just handle it for you. (he always jokes that he can carry all the burning hot things because he’s equally as hot and Nesta is just -_- even though she’s basically in agreement)  

Azriel is the baker, and he makes all the breads and desserts they serve. He and Cass work hand in hand a lot to get everything done and they’re always asking each other to try their thing to make sure it tastes good. Az prefers being in the back of house because he doesn’t particularly enjoy the interacting part of the job and it’s usually chaotic in front of everyone. And every once in a while, when Mor is having a bad day, he makes sure there are “extra” slices of her favorite triple chocolate cake on her desk that he definitely didn’t make just for her, not at all. 

Nesta is a server who’s relatively new, but still gets it done. She sets tables like a beast and everything she does is precise, clean, and even if she’s just pushed that one disturbingly massive hotbox half a mile to a venue, she’s never sweaty or has a hair out of place, it’s truly astonishing. She also definitely doesn’t have a thing for the chef. Not at all. It’s not like she stares at his forearms when he rolls up the sleeves of his white uniform or always casually suggests that she can be the one to go pick up the food from the kitchen. 

Elain is another server who pretty much always ends up working the bars. She can be a little slow setting things up sometimes, but she’s still a hard worker and everyone loves her enough that she could take fifty years to set a beverage station and everyone would still smile at her. She enjoys the jobs that involve interacting with people and can somehow magically pour red wine over a white tablecloth and keep them absolutely pristine.

Feyre is a server too, so she does everything, but they usually leave the design elements up to her. She’ll help Cass plate the food sometimes, or arrange a board of fruit into cool shapes.  She and Rhys are shamelessly dating even though everyone is ??? “wait ur dating ur boss?” No one cares though, and its usually never a problem except that one time Mor walked into Rhys’s office without knocking and found them making out with her sitting in his lap. 

Lucien (you can thank @highfaelucien​ for this idea) runs the flower shop that supplies centerpieces/decorations, and he always hangs around after a delivery to talk with everyone… aka flirt with the pretty server who blushes when he hands her a flower. He has his usual beautifully long hair and will mostly keep it up for work so it doesn’t get in the way. He’s always casually, immaculately dressed and smells ridiculously good (not that Elain has noticed). He has his cartilage pierced too, and Elain definitely doesn’t drool over his earrings when he has his hair pulled back out of the way. Their interactions are mainly Lucien being >:) and ;) while Elain blushes beet red.

Other assorted pieces:  

Sometimes when they’re just finishing cleaning up, Mor and Cass will have a drink after (no one knows how they aren’t tired). Mor supplies the alcohol. Cassian supplies the dessert. They’ll sit in the empty kitchen and share a slice of cake and trade stories about all the weird stuff that happened that day. 

Nesta and Mor definitely make out at the Christmas party one year. Mor is in this little red dress with black tights and heels and they end up with red lipstick smeared all over their faces, stumbling out of the linen closet.

Cass tries to woo Nesta with food and it works better than he thought it might. At first he thinks he’ll make some big, fancy dessert, but then he’s like… nah STEAK.  Az walks by Cassian’s station and is confused at first because there’s nothing they need that for that night? But he turns it over in the pan and casually says that Nesta is hungry…. “You’re trying to romance her…. with meat???” “Steaks are sexy Azriel.” Luckily though, Cass is very :))) when he brings Nesta’s plate to her and her eyes go a little wide because he really didn’t have to do that, really he didn’t. But since its there…. She digs into it and probably lets out this moan that has Cass grinning wider and he goes down to brag to Az about her liking it. 

Az feeds the cats behind the building every night and Mor thinks its adorable. One is looking particularly worse for wear, though, and he ends up taking it home and basically adopting it. Mor proudly calls herself the kitty’s “co parent” and goes around bragging about their child to everyone while Az blushes in the background.

Nesta has been forever banned from driving the truck because her road rage + a giant truck is really not a good idea. She’s thiiiiis close to being banned from the truck whenever Cassian is in it too because they inevitably end up fucking in the back of it while he lifts her onto a cart. 

Smut bonus: 

when Nessian are finally together, he brings back homemade whipped cream and chocolate sauce for them to use ~that night~ but it just devolves into Nesta laughing so hard she’s crying because she can’t take Cassian seriously when he’s spraying whipped cream onto her boobs. 

Can we stop pretending we don’t know the reason that lesbian culture is in decline? (hint: it’s non-lesbians in our spaces, the queer, fluid, ‘you’re a close-minded fetishist’ soup). Like, nothing’s ever going to be done unless we step up and say “yeah, when we mean lesbian spaces, we means LESBIAN, not any other label, we mean homosexual women, and you’re not welcome bye”. Like, labelling us all as queer and not even so much as recognising that lgbt women are not a monolith is part of the problem.

its kinda funny

bc ‘electra heart’ was abt warning ppl not to be selfish and materialistic, and a lot of songs (aka the most popular ones) were complete satire

and then when the ‘froot’ album dropped EH stans were acting like children, demanding more songs that allowed them to wallow in self pity and unapologetically break boys’ hearts

proving they learned absolutely nothing from the electra heart era lmao

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POE PARTY VALENTINES!

With Valentine’s Day fast approaching, we thought you might want some Poe Party Valentines to express your literary love. Perfect to share with that guy or gal down the street who never appreciates all the poems you write about them and all the ravens you send their way.

Edgar Allan Poe’s Murder Mystery Dinner Party NOW ON KICKSTARTER!