category:slasher

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Jeff the Killer is getting a movie made after him? Yup, it’s finally happening, at least supposed to. (Who knows? This could be another fake) Stories have been circling about the perfection to Creepypasta fangirls everywhere for a very long time though. I will be very honest when I say I have been waiting too. I didn’t want it to be like his story, though. Jeff is a terrible Creepypasta- I only really like him because he’s the whole reason why I got into the fandom. He’s not even that intimidating. More of me liking him out of respect, y’know?

Anyways, the movie goes pretty much his same story, nothing really extra, no slashing, no murdering (except his parents and brother), nothing- also, the same bullshit reason for his skin color that would never work in actuality (no, burning bleach in your skin doesn’t make it paler, probably just insanely irritating and leathery), stuff like that. The thing that got me the most though, was the creator’s vision of Jeff…

Like hello? As other people stated, “can you say fuckboy much?” When I saw this picture, I literally thought it was just Andy Biersack with some make-up on. The creator/director’s excuse is, “In our vision Jeff is a modern, charismatic and attractive maniac, if we may say so. This is the main reason why we took this project. The world doesn’t need another silent goon (sorry Jason)!”

Can you say, fail horror movie even further? So basically, this would make fangirls swoon further, not like, be afraid of him, right? I hate beautiful/handsome characters for horror, unless that’s what they’re for (but even then, they usually fail). Let me allow someone to picture this. If someone gets burned alive with alcohol and bleach, cuts a smile in their face, and burns off their eyelids (I’m not sure if they’re adding that part), would they be handsome and attractive? No. He would be absolutely horrific. You want to make him being attractive work? … I don’t even know how you could make that work for a character like Jeff. He’s supposed to be intimidating! I don’t know, change him so he doesn’t get burned or something.

Here’s another quote from the director/creator Padolyak Vitaly, “You won’t feel sorry for the victims! You will empathize with Jeff and want him to finish them off as quickly and brutally as possible. We have always wanted to make a movie where the bad guy wins!” Like what. If you empathize for Jeff, will this really be a horror film? No. It will be a creepy sap story. You can’t have a horror story and go, “Well we want the viewer to feel sorry for this murderous character!” If you feel really sorry for a character to the point where you want them to kill people, most viewers won’t necessarily fear them. Like I don’t know if horror was what they want to achieve to be honest. With the story, appearance, and pity part, it leads me to believe they’re trying to do something else.

Oh, and on a side-note, I hate the person who wrote the article to move the movie up with funds. They’re one of those dummies who thinks the story of Slenderman dates back like centuries ago. “..Slender Man whose story harkens back decades (perhaps even centuries)..” like hello, Slenderman was written in 2009 by Victor Surge, look it up. That’s only 6 years, ya’ brick. Like Jesus, not only an uneducated article-writer (who maybe got his info from the director), but a dumb movie director too! Oh, this movie is bound to be a blast. I hope the people who donate for your $325k (if you even ever get it) turn out pissed at what they helped out of the kindness of their hearts (and excitement that their Jeffy-kun senpai is finally being made into a movie).

~Stitch

There’s a clear thread of abuse and neglect through all slasher films. With the exception of Freddy Krueger, every single one of those killers was turned into a monster by forces beyond their control, and almost none of the original movies recognize this. The abuse is always a quick side note, briefly mentioned in a stretch of expositional dialogue explaining why a man in coveralls and a bleached Halloween mask is Solid Snaking his way through a sleepy suburban neighborhood, carrying bodies back and forth between houses like he’s refereeing a game of hide-and-seek that nobody else realizes they are playing.

6 Unspoken Rules Every Horror Movie Monster Always Follows