i love you. god i love you. you are literally this person i never imagined that i would get to meet. you are so wonderful i can’t even express it in words and sometimes that’s a bit frustrating but i think it’s pretty rad that you go far beyond words. you can’t be explained in just a few sentences and metaphors strung together. but you are this lovely human that i get to know and i am so grateful for that. you are so effortlessly kind and compassionate and strong willed. oh god. how could anyone not fall in love with you the moment they meet you? i have no idea how anyone could feel anything but pure happiness around you. you know how people have that one person they want to call whenever they get news? or when they’re having a bad day and there’s that one person who makes it feel so much more weightless? or that person that you can’t even believe you came across in this lifetime but you’re so incredibly happy that you did? that’s you. you’re that person for me. you make me smile until my cheeks hurt. you make my heart beat so fast. you give me so many butterflies, i feel like a little kid with this big silly crush on a boy. i love you so much my heart cannot even contain it. just being around you is the greatest thing. whether we sit there and talk about whatever is on our hearts, whether we sit in complete silence, whether we just listen to the music playing - everything is so much more beautiful when i’m with you. i want to see the world with your hand in mine. i want to go to art museums in different cities. i want to go to concerts. i want to go on road trips with no destination. i want to stay up to watch the sunset, and then stay up even later to catch the sunrise. but i also want to lay in bed all day with you. i want to watch your favourite movies. i want to lay there on your chest and just listen to you sing. i have never had someone in my life who i wanted to really explore or do life with until i met you. this feels like what a first love is supposed to feel like. new and exciting, not toxicity and lies. there is so much love i don’t even know what to do with all of it. i know things aren’t always easy. i know sometimes things hurt. i know it can be scary. but it’s beautiful. it’s always beautiful. i know you’ve been hurt. so have i. you deserve the entire world and i want to give you that. i need you to know that i love you with everything i am and everything i have. i need you to know that i’m not going anywhere. you’re stuck with me. i will be here for you on good days when everything feels light and i will be here for you on bad days when everything feels dark and heavy. i’ll be here supporting you. cheering you on. through everything. i’m your number one fan and i always will be. you’re the strongest and most intelligent person i know and i’m so excited to be able to be by your side while you take on your dreams. and no matter what happens, i’ll always cheer for you. i will always love you. if the future doesn’t have us together, just know that i will look back and just smile. because you’re this special person that exists at the same time as me and i somehow got lucky to be yours. so if things don’t work out, just know that somewhere out there, there’s an alternative universe where we ended up together and that’s enough for me. and i love you. i love you i love you i love you. that will never change.
i’m in love with you and i don’t want to be anything else
I don’t want to fall in love. I don’t want to break my heart like fragile glass upon the words that they tell me. I don’t want to fall in love. But now there’s this ache that I can’t exactly explain because although I don’t want to fall in love, I want to fall in love with you. I want to watch the color of your eyes change as the sky does, I want to watch them shift from that fantastic green to the glittering gold that lies just below them. I want to see you smile and make your stupid jokes that aren’t funny but always make me laugh, I want to see the red in your cheeks rise with emotion. I want to feel your hair that is like burnished gold personified. When I heard your voice when you were about to go to sleep I felt something dangerous because I know I wouldn’t exactly mind falling asleep next to you. When I look at you I feel something dangerous because I know that if we were to sit in front of the most beautiful sunset that man had ever seen, my eyes would still be on you. I want to know what makes you tick and what makes you smile, I want to know your favorite movie and if you prefer oceans to forests or vice versa. I want you to be happy. When you don’t seem happy like you always do, I feel something dangerous, because I want so dearly to give you something that’d make you so. And that’s the most dangerous thing of all. Because although I don’t want to fall in love, I want that something to be me.
a.p. (10.6.16) I don’t want to fall in love, I want to fall in love with you
I adore the duality of Tony Stark. Not the secret identity thing, but this idea, one that you get to see more of in the comics than the films (though IM1 did this a lot): the idea that there’s this aloof, cold businessman who puts on perfectly-tailored suits and snarks his way through a room and destroys opponents without a thought using an offhand quip, and resorts to pragmatism when nobody else will, and wears his playboy persona on his sleeve, and knows all the easiest ways to blow up a person or a world, and has a bit of a god complex, and used to be called the Merchant of Death -
- but he’s also the guy who wanders around like a zombie before the first coffee of the day, and works with his hands, and spends his time with mad-scientist hair and wearing scruffy vests covered in oil because he got caught up in his hard work and his passion for creation. He’s the guy who will do anything for his friends and makes silly jokes over breakfast and wholeheartedly, dorkily loves the Avengers, from the concept of it to the people in it. He falls hard for the people he loves, and is incredibly lonely. He’s the guy who goes to orphanages and holds babies when he can’t sleep, and adores kids. He’s the guy who cries easily, never thinks he’s doing enough, struggles with alcoholism and chronic illnesses, and desperately doesn’t want to be his father, no matter how much the media pins the opposite on him. He loves the world and the people in it, even when he kind of hates them, and is constantly working to make things better. He remembers his employees’ names and asks after their families. He tries to see the good in people and goes for rehabilitative over punitive justice wherever possible, even when it comes to villains who have actively tried to kill him. He’s known for how much he cares, exhaustingly, about everything. He’s the man who honestly has a good heart and is constantly trying to reach out, and often gets laughed at for his idealism. He’s a man who’s so often in pain, but tries to use it to improve the world rather than letting it destroy him.
Sure, I like his ruthlessness and some of his coolness, but I also love the guy who unironically adores classic Star Trek and makes absentminded Dune and Arthurian references and thinks equations are cool; who makes mental notes of his friends’ favourite breakfasts and takes young heroes under his wing and is semi-jokingly horrified when one doesn’t have a file system. Who goes “but why does that do that?” and wants to take everything apart and fix it so it can help people, and honest to god believes in a better future.
(The movies are subtler about that side of him, but it’s still there. I mean, as a little thing, I’m always grateful they let RDJ put some of his own love of classic and sometimes silly rock into Tony Stark. Not just because I share that music taste, but I always like characters who are nerdy and wholehearted about at least something. But the bigger stuff, too: the between-the-lines moments: the naming his bots, the “here, have my whole R&D lab/my company/my home/my heart if you want it, why do you look so surprised?” That’s all straight from the comics. It’s just done slightly more snarkily and with a slightly shorter, brown-eyed Tony rather than a tall, blue-eyed one.)
-He started off pretty small; stars and hearts and whatnot, but now he can make even the most delicate of designs
-He gives all the finished products to Patton who fusses over them like a proud parent because aww logan? this is so pretty??? i cant believe you made these for me?????
-Logan doesn’t tell Patton that methodically folding paper is just his way of de-stressing and he’s only giving him the final products to save space. Instead, he goes to make more
-Virgil is the only side that knows how to moonwalk
-Roman is furious, especially since Virgil not only refuses to teach him but now likes to moonwalk out of their arguments
-Roman eventually learns how to tap-dance as retaliation because yes he is that petty
-It’s not an uncommon sight for the others to walk in on Roman aggressively tap-dancing around an increasingly frustrated Virgil who jUST WANTS TO MOONWALK AWAY DAMN IT ROMAN STOP BLOCKING HIM
-Patton knits everyone Christmas sweaters. And Thanksgiving sweaters. And Halloween sweaters. And birthday sweaters. And Valentine’s Day sweaters. And Easter sweaters. And St. Patrick’s Day sweaters. And 4th of July sweaters. And Pride month sweaters. And
-The other sides suspect he’s started making up holidays as an excuse to knit more sweaters
-Sometimes Patton even makes them for inanimate objects. It’s not uncommon to see a chair draped in a bright red & yellow sweater, or a pretty blue sweater wrapped around the lamp
-It’s cute, but the others have to draw the line when Patton ties a sweater around the fridge. How are they supposed to open that now
-Virgil likes to bet with Patton on who’ll be the victor in Roman and Logan’s arguments (they both bet on Logan, so when he inevitably wins, all they do is swap money)
-Virgil likes to bet in general, usually about dares against Roman. No one is sure where he gets the money from but no one asks
–‘5 bucks says Roman won’t eat that expired sandwich I found in the back of the fridge’
*cue sounds of Roman frantically shoving the sandwich in his mouth because fUCK YOU I DO WHAT I WANT*
-Patton bruises like a peach, poor child
-He is very sensitive to everything around him being at the core of a lot of thomas’s feelings and all and that includes physical stuff too. Bump his head on the wall? Oh no it’s purple now. Hit his knee on the desk? That sure ain’t leaving soon
-It doesn’t help that he’s clumsier than a puppy
-Speaking of which, that black puppy he’s adopted? Yeah uh it’s name is Logan Jr and it’s too late to change it now
-Logan pretends to not like it, but he’s actually the one feeding and walking it the most. He’d rather have a cat but hey, what can ya do? It makes Patton happy
(Aaand that is all for now. Have a wonderful day, amigos ✌)