Why’d You Only Call Me When You’re High?

Author: completedylantrash

Characters: reader x Dylan O’Brien


Word Count: 7566 (Yeah I can’t write short fics anymore lol)

A/N: I don’t remember who asked me to do this I’m sorry! But I hope that y’all like it! THERE ARE HEAVY MENTIONS OF SMOKING POT IN THIS. IF YOU DON’T CONDONE THIS, DO NOT READ!

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Reading Sterek #10

Everything I read this week: July 20 - July 28

Special thanks to @nogitsunelichen for collecting fics for me to read this week and for being so amazing!


  • ❤Carnival Date by @captain-snark 436 G❤
    • Stiles and Derek at a carnival together. It’s their first date and it’s not going well. At all.
  • Puppy Love by @literaryoblivion 619 G
    • Derek has grown to enjoy volunteering at the animal shelter. He didn’t like how he came to be volunteering there, a volun-told situation involving his sister, but a few months later, and it becomes something he looks forward to every Saturday. He’d like to claim its the love of the animals, which is partially true. 
  • Reconnecting by @sterekseason 624 T❤
    • Stiles and Derek reconnect at John and Melissa’s wedding after not seeing each other for nearly six years.
  • There’s a Dragonite in There by @winns-schott 711 G
    • “My cute neighbour from down the hall keeps coming to my apartment, claiming there are Pokemon they need to capture in here. What they don’t know is I too have the Pokemon go app, and know for a fact there are no Pokemon in my apartment. But I allow them to keep using the excuse, because I get to see them more AU”
  • ❤Meet Baxter by @brookesbutler 785 G❤
    • Derek gets the text whilst three thousand miles away helping Cora move into her new house with her new boyfriend-slash-fiancé. He almost drops his phone twice on his rush to get it, making Cora snort and then bend her fingers into a heart shape and wink at him. “I have good news and bad news.”
  • ❤Too Hot, Hot Damn by @nogitsunelichen 1,062❤
    • He was sitting in front of a fan for fucks sake, in nothing but his boxers and a cold cloth on his head. This wasn’t helping even a little bit; between the hot air and the cloth not staying cold he was ready to go swim in the arctic, meanwhile Derek was working out like the fucking weirdo he is.
  • ❤Scott Kissed A Girl, Okay? / AO3 by @eternalsterek-broughttolife 1,370 T❤ (Look, it’s for me!)
    • Derek…you don’t have to.” “I said I would, okay? Now shut up.” “Oh, yes. Please. Continue with your wooing. I’m all tingly here,” Stiles says with a roll of his eyes.
  • ❤What did you say about my alpha? by @crossroadswrite 1,385 T❤
    • Stiles knows he shouldn’t do this, but Stiles also isn’t famous for having any kind of survival instincts or keeping his mouth shut in high stress situations, so. “What did you say about my alpha?” he spits, getting up so fast that his chair topples back with and smacks loudly on the floor in the suddenly quiet room.
  • ❤Paper Hearts by @crossroadswrite 1,501 G❤
    • Stiles opens his locker on Tuesday morning to find a crookedly folded origami heart. He frowns at it, squints in suspicious, before he reaches his hand inside and picks it up, turns it in his hands.
  • ❤If You Want by @pale-silver-comb 1,684 G❤
    • Derek finds Stiles curled up at the foot of his dorm room bed, breathing heavily, like he’s been running- or having a panic attack.
  • ❤Shut Up and Cuddle Me by @nogitsunelichen 2,389 G❤
    • Stiles was such a mother hen when he wanted to be, if he wanted to be. Like honestly he was taking liberties people! “Operation Coddle The Shit Out of Sick Derek” was in full effect.
  • Be My Oxygen AO3 by @demisexualhale 2,846 T
    • “We had plans Derek! Romantic camping plans! With campfires! And probably awkward sex in a tent!”

AO3 Fics

  • Ice Cream Fix by hazelNut / @fandom-madnessess 636 G
    • Stiles has had a very bad day and all he wants is ice cream. Stiles stares disconsolately at the empty spot in the giant supermarket freezer where his chocolate-coconut ice cream should be. He presses his forehead to the cool glass and groans. Today is the worst day.
  • Good Move by nogitsune_lichen / @nogitsunelichen 924 M❤
    • When Derek and Stiles wake up they aren’t in their beds, or even at home. Nope…they’ve been kidnapped, tied together in a way that is more or less comfortable.
  • ❤Basic Rules of Office Conduct by Marishna 983 M❤
    • “It’s like I can still feel the ghost of his dick inside me.”
  • So Your Boyfriend Is A Superhero… by stilinski_wolf 1,186 G
    • It’s a crazy thing, being Spiderman - and somehow, even crazier having Spiderman as your boyfriend. But Derek and Stiles always make it work.
  • Achoo by JaggedDiamonds 1,667 G 
    • Derek and Stiles are concerned when their son picks up some new abilities.
  • ❤Asking For Trouble by Inell / @inell 1,750 Explicit❤
    • Stiles and Derek can’t wait until they get home. Fortunately, there’s an alley nearby.
  • ❤Little Red & the Big Bad Wolf by Dexterous_Sinistrous / @dexterous-sinistrous / @drunklightning 1,766 M❤
    • Stiles tries to make him love it once more. Derek used to love Halloween. It was the one night of the year his family could be themselves. Then, it all changed after the fire.
  • I Want You to Smell Like Me When You Go Home to Him by darkchild 1,795 Explicit❤
    • “You’re such an asshole.” Stiles said between trying to catch his breath.“And yet I’m still the one fucking you open instead of that fucker boyfriend of yours. I’m the one using your hole for the night.”
  • Even Though You’re Sad by holysmokesari 1,841 G
    • Music has been Stiles’s life ever since his mother died and it’s time that he took a risk to see if he has any real talent.
  • Save a Broom, Ride a Quidditch Player by 42hrb / @sterekseason 2,503 T❤
    • Derek and Stiles have been mutually pining for each other for years, Cora and Lydia are sick of it.
  • Oops by chasing_the_sterek 2,555 T
    • Stiles meant to call Scott. Keyword: meant.
  • Night Shifts by LadyMerlin / @obsessionality 2,608 M
    • Stiles having night shifts at the station had spelled the end of their sex-life.It had been okay, for the most part, because Derek loved Stiles for a lot more than just the (incredible) sex. Still, neither of them would ever turn down the opportunity to do-the-diddly-do when they could.
  • I’ve Got Four Eyes For You by lawled 2,764 M
    • Stiles is just trying to get through senior year in one piece while juggling AP classes, college applications, and jerks on the lacrosse team calling him “four eyes”. But a certain lacrosse captain has other plans for Stiles.
  • ❤The Honeymoon Phase by stilinski_wolf 3,103 Explicit❤
    • Stiles and Derek just got married and are a little too lovey-dovey for other people at the airport. So they decide to find a utility closet to have some private time. At least, as private as they can get in an airport, anyway.
  • Voice Search by 42hrb / @sterekseason 3,312 T
    • Stiles, Derek, and Allison are the judges on the popular show Voice Search. OR Stiles and Derek snark and flirt their way into each other’s hearts.The Voice AU that no one asked for.
  • ❤For Goodness Cakes by yodasyoyo / @yodas-yo-yo​ 3,462 T❤
    • Derek owns a bakery and Stiles comes in wanting something for a broken heart (very over-dramatic about it) but he gets so distracted by the cake (muscles) that he totally forgets alllll about it. OR: Stiles eats a lot of cake. Derek’s communication skills are lacking. And they bitch and snark their way to a happy ending.
  • ❤Joke’s on Us by whatthefuck 3,465 T❤
    • “My name’s Stiles, and I just ruined your shirt, and your coffee, and probably your morning. “Well, Derek can agree with the first two, but his morning is definitely not ruined, because it was worth it to be pushed over if he was pushed by someone so beautiful. He would let the guy knock him on over a hundred times. As long as it doesn’t involve burning coffee every time.
  • Never Let Go by stilinski_wolf 4,902 Explicit
    • Stiles meets Derek at a motel after talking to each other for months on the phone. Stiles is ready to be with Derek, in every way. And in this instance, that way is the intimate way. Needless to say, having sex with Derek is an amazing experience.
  • ❤Wheatgrass and Froot Loops by WhoNatural / @omgsterekplease 6,885 Explicit❤
    • "You’re falling for him,” she says, and it’s not a question. Stiles looks up, blinks, and shakes his head. “No,” he lies. “We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay? Why upset the arrangement?”
  • Salt and a Waltz by The Byger (Byacolate) 7,433 Explicit❤
    • “Not that lubed-up Q-tips aren’t the sexiest thing in the world, but I kinda want to know what it’s like, you know. To be impaled on your huge dick without actually being impaled.” “It was about to get sexy there, but you shot the mood right in the face.” In which Stiles is a faerie and Derek is sick and tired of not being able to fuck him. Bonus  
  • ♚You Make Me All Achy by Emela / @pale-silver-comb 10,965 M♚
  • The Road Less Traveled by Cobrilee 42,356 Explicit♚
    • The thought is, the soul mark is ambiguous so people feel like they have a choice in who they fall in love with. Stiles thinks it’s to torture him. Derek thinks it means nothing. Then they meet each other, and realize they’re both wrong.

grigorigirl13  asked:

Can you update the Witch!Stiles tag?

sure man

Stay Alive ‘Til This Horror Show Is Past by Tegami (3/3 | 7,267 | PG13)

Stiles Stilinski thought of himself as the master of bad spur-of-the-moment decisions. Getting his best friend turned into a werewolf because he’d thought finding half of a dead body in the woods at night would be ‘cool‘ and ‘fun‘ was only the beginning of a long, long list. So when Stiles got semi-permanent tattoos all over his arms in winter without even once thinking it could maybe become a pain in the ass to hide in the summer? He didn’t surprise himself, really.

Or, the one where Stiles is a witch covered in sigils but didn’t tell anybody why he’s covering his arms all summer. Derek jumps to conclusions and A Reveal ensues.

Reading the signs by StupidGenius (2/5 | 3,775 | PG13)

“Who’s this?” He asks. Cora blinks.

“Oh, right! Uh, Derek, this is my best friend, Stiles.” She pulls back and starts to move her hands around as she speaks.” Stiles, this is my big brother Derek, the one I was telling you about.”

The kid moves his hands back at her, mouthing words but never speaking. He’s not sure he understands what’s going on.

“He said it’s nice to meet you. He’s heard a lot about you.” Cora says. Derek frowns.


“He’s Deaf.” Laura says, tapping you pointer finger to the corner of her mouth and her ear. “You know, like can’t hear? At all? He signs.”


Sugar, Spice, Everything Nice by AsagiStilinski (1/1 | 10,256 | PG13)

Three years ago Stiles Stilinski walked into Straight From Hale Bakery to get a birthday cake for his daughter

Now, through a series of stupid events, he’s sitting at a bake sale table next to his apparent longtime freind (who he’s completely in love with) Derek Hale, trying to sell cookies to win his daughter’s class a pizza party- and also to defeat the not-exactly-evil Atlanta Five Bakery that the Hales have some strange vicious rivalry with, who just so happens to be trying to win a pizza party for THEIR daughter too

Also: Werewolves, levitating apple juice, and covert operations via Lydia Martin

Seriously what in the hell is his life?

Too Familiar by Rehfan (11/11 | 17,573 | NC17)

Derek’s family has had it. He’s too grumpy. They want him to get a boyfriend.
Enter: Deaton as matchmaker.
The only problem is: the match he has in mind for Derek isn’t looking for a boyfriend - he’s looking for a familiar.