catalyzes

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I’ve spent the past few months attempting to figure out a framework for Ghost Physics in the Danny Phantom universe? Enjoy my crazed scribblings.

Cliff notes version: The Ghost Zone is our dimension’s 4D “atmosphere,” absorbing harmful trans-dimensional radiation. Ghosts are made of the Ghost Zone’s version of matter, called ectoplasm, a substance capable of 4D motion (video explanation of that), “toggling” how physical forces (esp. electromagnetism and gravity) interact with it, and storing huge amounts of energy. A ghost’s unique nervous system and encoded body plan (the ecto-signature) remains in the upper energy levels of the Ghost Zone at all times, remotely controlling their body. Danny can chemically change his body between ectoplasm and regular matter, and has both a normal physical brain and an ecto-signature.

A Literal Essay:

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hey hello here’s the car boys unifying theory, i made a fun corkboard with the thread everywhere just like them conspiracy theorists in the movies

spoilers for the finale of car boys & the stolen century arc of the adventure zone follow

the crutch of this theory rests on the the two endings being separate timelines: the boystos/separation timeline (the bad ending) [the ending shown before the credits, when griffin and nick are separated and set adrift in endless emptiness] and the candle in the wind timeline (the true ending) [the after-credits ending, griffin and nick stuck in the car together, perpetually fleeing from the blob through the time ring] {there is no good end}

the separation timeline / bad end

  • most of what happens in this timeline to the boys is based off this video by youtube user brockrin- which the boys have tweeted about so by my standards its canon plflfnfft
  • to sum it up- alone for an eternity in endless Nothingness, the boys become the bustos-  nick 1.0 and griffin 2.0- and attempt to go back and stop themselves in the past from fucking everything up, but fail
  • this timeline (im sorry for homestuck terminology but,) is a stable time loop, nothing ever changes- its them going around and around again trying and failing to stop themselves. its bad
  • but its important to note that griffin and nick were not the only ones in the time ring when they got separated- which brings me to Ball
  • Ball has qualities of both the ovo and the blob, as it has blob-like physics (even leading to the it hates water! revelation) and its roundness and fondness of rolling just like ovo
  • Ball becomes separated from itself. the white sections become the ovo, and the black sections the blob

the candle in the wind timeline / true end

  • now things get a little buckwild
  • the basic premise of this timeline is that nick and griffin stay in the waterproof pessima lx for , basically eternity, travelling through the time ring in an endless chase with the blob
  • the reason that they don’t break down like in the bad end is pretty much that being stuck in a perpetual expanse of time and space with a friend is infinitely better than being stuck there alone
  • this is where coolgames inc starts! essentially a way to pass time when youve quite literally got nothing but time. (and as nick said, there’s wifi in the void)
  • this is where the guest-o-matic in the cgi animations comes in! and, in addition, there is a “canon” connection with cb in the cook for cube cgi animation- perhaps the two timelines converging for just a second ? 
  • uncle buck from uncle buck
  • in the time ring we see countless galaxies pass by as they travel downwards- they travel through endless amounts of realities and planes as the blob pursues them
  • taking a moment here to explain something else integral to this- in car boys, nick has the power of creation, the ability to spawn and create objects in the game. griffin, conversely, has the power of manipulation, he’s much of the driving force behind important decisions and actions taken in the show. this becomes important
  • this is when touch the skyrim takes place- in a number of the universes they pass through down and down into the time ring, griffin takes advantage of these powers of manipulation to modify the word around them because like why not, its fun
  • what’s wrong with this dream, nick
  • as the boys + the blob pass through universe after universe in the time ring, the bob catalyzes the event in the original universe of Jon (taz) that originally creates the hunger- the blob merges with the inhabitants of that universe and the hunger is born 
    (note: this may be edited in the coming weeks as we learn more abt the hunger and its origin)
  • and the boys realize this- that the universes that theyre passing through are being consumed behind them- and they begin looking for a solution, which materializes in the form of the original taz universe, the homeworld of thb and ipre and all that. 
  • it’s also at this point that the light of creation really like, becomes the light of creation its- its nick? its nick. nick is the light of creation. this fact being proposed is what prompted me to make this theory in the first place
  • griffin shapes the world of taz and becomes the dm/narrator (note especially in recent episodes during the into to taz the narrator uses ‘we’ and ‘us’- as if he is part of this world and is involved in the story) and the two boys follow the ipre through the planes of existence in order to help them find a way to defeat the hunger/blob and save all of reality from the monster that they created
  • and i think its a canon thing that the light of creation is split into the relics? that happens. thats pretty sad i think
  • ..until we get to the present- the hunger descending upon what will likely be the multiverse’s final stand against the hunger in the main taz universe (the one with two moons and stuff). cant wait for the taz finale bros

other things & honorable mentions

  • thanks to everyone in the mcelstuck & car boys discord for help with this whole thing! 
  • @rikki-tikki-taako​‘s explanation of how the true timeline boys are saved from the bad timeline: “what i’m getting at is why didn’t true timeline nick and griffin get separated and warped
    the true saviors of true timeline nick and griffin
    emoji car and miku car
    embodiments of crucial aspects of nick and griffins beings, their integrity largely untampered with(i don’t believe either of them ever god trashed), and bow i think of it relatively unscathed compared to the horrors introduced to everything else because there were always more important matters to draw nick and griffin away, they came just when nick and griffin didn’t have time to make the same mistakes as all the other timelines
    so in the midst of god trashing, their pillars distorting, they combined with their respective aspects and regained their conceptual integrity, in a way like pause error respawning frequently merged objects in beamng, the pause indicated by their seeming lack of awareness of having to merge with them”
  • @cinnamon-marthmallows​ originally came up with “nick is the light of creation”, the fact that spawned this entire theory
  • @goodraandyy​‘s infograph on the split timelines and commentary on the ball/blob/hunger that you should check out & reblog here
    “ball turned into the blob which followed nick and griffin towards the taz universe - however, it is not john himself, it was simply drawn to his misery and suffering and mistook him for nick and griffin. john then harboured the power of the blob to create the hunger storm, which took over the universe“
  • @horticulturelesbian​ created the car boys discord thank u so much kar
  • @cheshiure​ compiled the cb unifying theory google doc
  • @coneboyofficial made this beautiful image
  • @magehand​ for this image: 
  • @babylonian @griffins-tumbo

tl;dr

  • the two endings of car boys are separate timelines
  • griffin and nick in the bad/pre-credits timeline became the bustos, Ball became the ovo & the blob
  • griffin and nick in the true/post-credits timeline continued travelling through the time ring, coming up with coolgames inc and touch the skyrim
  • the hunger is born from the blob interacting with jon’s whole deal
  • taz happens, griffin becomes the dm, nick becomes the light of creation, the boys follow the ipre gang through the universes to try and find a way to finally defeat it

thanks everybody 

important headcanon

Victor Nikiforov is forgetful as all get out. He doesn’t remember his own birthday half the time, and when people ask him how old he is, he has to count backwards using his fingers. 

But he knows the names of all the dogs he encounters in Hasetsu.

“Aki!” he says to the storeowner’s dog, as he bikes past on his way to the Ice Castle. Aki is a terrier mutt, small and a determined barker. “Good morning, Aki!” Which store owner? Damned if he knows. He’s been introduced a few times. Aki’s person. Victor is fairly certain he has two eyes and a face?

“Hi, Masa,” he says at lunch. Masa is the dog that lives somewhat near the castle. Masa is a shiba inu, and really likes tuna onigiri. He can detect the sound of a bento being opened from half a mile away; it never takes him more than a minute to materialize in the middle of Victor’s lunch. He sits two feet from Makkachin, giving Victor soulful sad eyes as he goes through the bento that Yuuri’s mother has made for him. Victor is no idiot–Makkachin has taught him well that a dog that knows how to make “I’m a poor neglected dog that never gets fed” eyes is almost certainly a dog who has a devoted human who is a sucker for sad dog eyes. But Victor is also a sucker for sad dog eyes.

Hiroko Katsuki has started adding extra onigiri, just for Masa. (“No salt,” she explained to him. She’s a good egg.)

Yori plays with Makkachin in the afternoons when Yuuri is cross-training. Yori is a brown dog with three white paws, not to be confused with Toshi, who is a slightly browner dog with two white paws and one yellow paw. Toshi lives closer to the onsen, anyway.

“Which dog is that?” Yuuri asks, as they’re walking home. Victor sees a flash out of the corner of his eye before the dog disappears. It’s enough. “Kouta. You can tell by the freckles on the paws. Riku has the same coloring but no freckles.”

“Who does Kouta belong to?” Yuuri asks.

Someone, Victor is sure. He’s been introduced a time or five. Some human…with two eyes, probably a face? He’s not really sure. 

“Kouta’s owner,” Victor finally says.

He doesn’t know why Yuuri is cracking up. Why would he waste precious brain space on human names when there are so many dogs to remember?

(catalyzed by this post)

youtube

Hawaii Unanimously Passes Bill Supporting Universal Basic Income

[https://youtu.be/yUYy1d3OqYY] Jun 29, 2017

Hawaii just became the first state to unanimously pass a bill supporting universal basic income, a policy that’s generally accepted as a way to thwart the inevitable wave of unemployment that will be catalyzed by technological advances and automation. 

It doesn’t actually codify #UBIinto law, but it’s a huge step forward in a very positive direction. 

Go Hawaii!

Source:
http://www.businessinsider.com/hawaii-basic-income-bill-2017-6
“Carnations” (Part 1)

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader (College AU)

Summary: A carnation fundraiser, an iota of possibility, and a longtime secret crush on your hot best friend - what could go wrong?

many thanks to the effervescent @buckyywiththegoodhair for beta-reading! i love you, you colorful tropical fish with scales made of diamonds! x

“Carnations” (Masterlist)

“(Y/N), if you really don’t want to help, you can leave. It’s okay.”

You snap out of your involuntary trance, meeting the peeved eyes of the tall figure in front of you. Your eyelids rapidly close and open before you blankly mutter, “Huh?”

“Since we started setting up, you’ve sighed thirteen times, loudly scuffed your shoe against the floor seven times, and spaced out four times. It doesn’t take a genius to see that you don’t want to do this.”

It takes a lot to annoy actual angel Steve Rogers, but somehow you’ve accomplished just that in only five minutes. Sheepish guilt washes over you, and you quickly insist, “I’m so sorry. But I swear I want to help!”

“Are you sure? You look a little preoccupied, and I can also do this myself if something’s –“

“No, no, I want to help. I promise,” you firmly repeat. You furiously tape the banner to the table’s edges as if to show how determined you are to help. “I didn’t mean to be a drama queen and space out.” 

Steve tiredly rubs his palm against his face. “Is everything okay?” he asks. The concern in his voice makes the guilt expand in your lungs, compelling you to cast your eyes downwards.

When faced with a small deficit in the Student Government budget, Steve came up with the carnation sale. Students could order flowers –red for love, pink for friendship, and white for secret admiration– and cabinet members would deliver them to the recipients’ respective dorms.

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I want to post this on a blog where I have the most followers. It needs to be addressed.

My boyfriend often tells me about how much (most) men don’t like women. I say I know. He tells me I don’t really know. He is a man and therefor sees and hears it constantly without shame from those who speak so cruelly about the women they manipulate.

It is exactly as we all know. He tells it to me honestly: “we (heterosexual men) are taught that our value comes from our ability to get laid. Self-worth is a consequence of whether women like us and whether they will have sex with us.”

He has experienced both sides. The undesirable as a teen. The very desirable as a young adult. I tell him of how my value was determined by how “fuckable” I was. I too have been on different sides. Unfuckable and very sexually desirable.

This is a core of (heteronormative) gender socialization. It is destructive emotionally to everyone involved. It is destructive physically to women. The respect of women is catalyzed by secure men. Insecure men do not like women. They hurt women without consequence.

This can be manipulation, coercion, abuse, etc.

There is an entitlement to this behavior. They are owed sex. If no one wants to have sex with them, they are a victim. People do not like having sex with people who do not like them, who do not respect them.

Herein lays the propagation of rape culture and (usually) women as objects to men. Take club and bar culture. Men “hunt” women. Generally intoxicated women dressed provocatively. They use this as ammunition for abuse.

The women are socialized as objects. Fighting for worth is fighting to be fuckable. It hurts. I imagine this is where the stereotype of women craving emotional intimacy lays. So often women enter “gray area” abuse and assault because of a desperate attempt to assign value to themselves through the only source society tells women they can achieve value: men.

And (most) men don’t like women. Ask any man you have befriended or love. Hopefully they will be honest.

That’s why when you (a woman) hear, “you’re not like most women,” you should be on guard. You are being told that you are liked by someone who does not like women.

Ana

Thinspo Tips
Tips and AdviceThis is a featured page
1. Drink one glass of water every hour. It will make you feel full.
2. Drink ice cold water. Your body will burn calories just getting the water to a normal temperature to digest. Also it is great for your complexion.
3. Drink 3 cups of green tea daily. It will help boost your metabolism, plus its anti-oxidants make your skin look great.
4. Take vitamins daily. Do not take vitamins on an empty stomache, otherwise they have nothing to catalyze with.
5. Eat ice or gum when hungry. This will make your body think it had food without the calories.
6. Do aerobics until you want to faint.
7. Eat spicy foods. They raise your metabolism.
8. Take cold showers because your body will burn calories to heat you back up.
9. DON’T take laxatives. They don’t help you to lose weight.
10. DON’T use diruretics. They only dehydrate you.
11. Brush your teeth constantly so you won’t be tempted to eat afterwards.
12. Weat a rubberband around your wrist. Snap it when you want to eat.
13. Clean something gross (toilet, litter box, boyfriend’s closet) when you want to eat. You will not want to eat after cleaning a litter box.
14. Keep your hair in good condition so no one will suspect anything.
15. Get a job so you’ll have to work through meal times.
16. Exercise twice the amount of calories eaten. 17. Use smaller plates and utensils so it seems like you ate more.
18. Chew eat bite of food thoroughly and then take a sip of water between bites. You will feel full quicker and will not eat as much.
19. Say you are going to eat at a friend’s house and instead go for a walk. You will be burning calories instead of taking them in.
20. Buy clothes that you can’t fit into and hang them wear you can see them. This will motivate you to lose weight to fit into them.
21. Sleep at least six hours a day. If you get less than six this can lower your metabolism by 15%.
22. If you start to feel hungry do situps or punch yourself in the stomach. You will not feel hungry anymore.
23. Pamper yourself! Give yourself a facial, paint your nails, anything to make you feel pretty.
24. Make yourself a snack, but instead of eating it throw it away. Leave the dirty dishes where your parents can find them. They will think you ate.
25. Prepare a list of excuses as to why you can’t eat - You’re sick, you’re a vegetarian, allergic, etc. You’d be amazed at how many good excuses there are.
26. Get out of your house! If you’re not sitting around then people can’t start shit with you about not eating.
27. Join a pro-ana group or start your own website. Anything that will keep you motivated.
28. Make an ANA scrapbook with pics of skinny models. Right down all the reasons you want to lose weight. Keep track of everything you eat. Look at it daily for thinsperation.
29. Keep good posture, burns 10% more calories when you sit up straight.
30. Instead of food, buy something else, a new shirt, flowers, jewelrey etc.
31. Make a list of all the “bad” foods that you crave and tend to binge on. Each day, pick one to take out of your diet that you absolutely, no matter what, cannot eat again. Take one off the list each day until there are no more bad foods you can have.
32. Avoid alcohol! A shot of liquor has 100-120 calories, a glass of wine has 80 calories, a lite beer has 110-120 calories, and a regular beer has 140-170 calories.
33. Never eat anything bigger than about a cup, your stomach will expand and then you’ll get hungry more.
34. Eat in front of a mirror naked. See how much you can eat then!
35. The smell of coffee is suppose to supress appetite.
36. Wear perfectly applied lip gloss. It makes you more aware of what’s going in your mouth. Also, flavored ones help with cravings.
37. Have 6 small meals a day. Take 2 apples, and split them so you can make 6 meals out of them. That way your body will be tricked into thinking it’s eating more.
38. Low calorie hot chocolate curbs chocolate cravings, and makes you feel full.
39. Take anti-heartburn pills if you’re really hungry. They nuetralize the acid that builds and makes you hungry.
40. Take a picture of yourself wearing a bathing suit or something equally revealing, look at it when you want to eat.
41. It takes 20 minutes for the brain to realize the stomach is full.
42. When you get hunger pains curl into a ball, it makes them go away.
43. If you’re a smoker and hungry, light up a cigarette. It curbs your appetite.
44. Eat lots of fiber. It makes you feel full and takes fat with it out of your body. The natural cleansing helps improve both your energy level and overall feeling of wellness.
45. Before you dig into that cake, bag of chips, candy, or whatever, take a deep breath and count to 100. Usually by the time you get to 100 you will have convinced yourself that you don’t really want it.
46. When you’re hungry chug 2 glasses (or how many you need) of straight water. It’ll make you so full and nauseous you will have completely lost your appetite.
47. Celery actually burns calories. Every hour eat a stalk of it. Not only will it fill you up, but it will also get your metabolism kickin’.
48. Weigh yourslef before and after every time you eat. Not only will it eliminate unnecessary eating, but it will make you want to eat less when you see the numbers creep up.
49. Read the nutritional information. Remember, fat-free does not mean calorie-free. Also keep an eye on fiber content. Get as much fiber into your diet as you can, while cutting fat and calories.
50. Don’t eat a lot at once. Spread your food throughout the day. This will help to avoid binging and keep your metabolism going.
51. If you like to drink alcohol, you’ll like this. Make a rule: You can only drink every time you lose 2lbs. So, if you lose 4lbs a week, you can drink Friday and Saturday night. However, if you only lose 2lbs a week, you only get to drink one night.
52. Do not eat in front of the computer or TV. This distracts you from recognizing you’re full. 53. Save the money you would have spent on that meal in a jar. Save it in a bottle instead and watch it grow.
54. Stay away from Slim-fast and other so-called “healthy” candy bars and shakes… one look at the nutition facts will tell you why. With all the carbs and excess calories you may as well go eat a freakin pie or something. Not to mention the rediculous prices… save yourself the money, and the calories.
55. Instead of buying food, buy yourself flowers. Food is depressing, but flowers make you happy.
56. When having cravings drink a couple glasses of water with slices of lemons and count to 100 and it should go away.
57. Eating 100 cals 4 times a day is better than eating a 400 cal meal.
58. An occasional binge doesn’t hurt, in fact it’s quite beneficial if you have reached a plateau (stopped losing weight). Your body will think you have stopped starving yourself, and you will drop at least a pound overnight! Just don’t binge too regularly!
59. Someone told me that if you take a pure cold bath for 15-30 min and lower your body temp, your body burns around 200 cals for every degree it has to raise itself to reach a normal body temperture. This person tried it, a 30 min bath lowered their temp about 3-4 degrees

anonymous asked:

Hey I was wondering if you could analyze lucrezia and cesare relationship in the Borgia ??? Thank you!!

Ah, Cesare and Lucrezia. This will be so long.

I need to preface the analysis by saying I usually hate the inclusion of incest in anything that isn’t a Toni Morrison novel but The Borgias handled Lucrezia and Cesare’s situation with so much nuance and Holliday and Francois have outstanding chemistry that I got sucked in to that ship.

The progression of Cesare and Lucrezia is actually quite interesting because the underlying tension between the two of them is there from the pilot. The first time we’re introduced to their relationship, Lucrezia is spying on Cesare having sex:

and then he chases her around the courtyard but there is a balance between playful innocence:

and very potent sexual tension:

They spoke like lovers:

their gazes were always charged with this tension that clearly made the other feel something but I think that something remained unrealized between them:

and yet Cesare’s protectiveness of Lucrezia was very much a protection of her innocence:

He disagrees with the marriage to Giovanni Sforza and wordlessly warns him against consummating their marriage during the wedding ceremony because he doesn’t want Lucrezia to grow up too quickly, it’s a very brotherly concern.

Even when Juan has to kill Djem who Lucrezia was infatuated with

and Lucrezia is devastated, Cesare is devastated for her, there is no sense of jealousy, there is no sense of possessiveness, he’s just hurting because his sister who he loves dearly is hurting.

At the same time, as one of the aforementioned gifs suggest, there was always a sense of who would be a priority in their hearts, there was always this knowledge that no man or woman would ever be able to inspire in them such strong feelings even though at the time, Cesare had this dark infatuation with Ursula.

When I think things begin to turn for Cesare and Lucrezia is after Lucrezia has been repeatedly abused by Giovanni. Cesare is devastated by the loss of Lucrezia’s innocence (and previously stated he would cut out the heart of the man who dared hurt her)

But I think her loss of innocence:

(compared to pre-Sforza)

is what sort of catalyzes Cesare into starting to view Lucrezia as a woman to avenge and not a little sister to protect.

While with Cesare, well Lucrezia found a safe space with Paolo and she loved him dearly and she knew he loved her, but I don’t think she felt, like, wholly safe (which she says in season 3) or completely herself unless with Cesare no matter how much she loved Paolo. You see her relax with Cesare in a way she couldn’t even do with him:

Her entire body exhales. I think after the ordeal with Giovanni, she truly began recognizing that. So the end of season 1 is the beginning of realization for the both of them.

In season 2, Lucrezia has been hardened first by the rape and abuse she had to endure during her marriage to Giovanni and then by Paolo’s death at the hands of Juan.

In season 1 Cesare was concerned with preserving Lucrezia’s innocence but this season Cesare wanted to make Lucrezia happy and he wants to do so himself:

And the above moment between them is also a turning point for their relationship because Lucrezia asks Cesare if he can make her happy as they talk about Paolo, “Could he make you smile?” “Can you?” and he delivers her a moment of levity:

Which re-establishes this theme of Cesare and Lucrezia knowing each other’s hearts better than anyone, thy actually don’t spend much time together in season 2 but when they do, they’re knowing each other and seeing each other:

which is a mixture of ferocious vengeance, like when Cesare makes good on his promise to kill the man who harms her:

and then gives her the knife he killed him with:

as well as a mixture of peace and lightness and comfort, no longer playful innocence, but a breath of fresh air:

and the realization between them grows:

that by the end of the season, they joke about marrying one another

while Lucrezia’s betrothed, who she does care for, notices the tension when they dance:

And then season 3 happens and their relationship gets even more complex while at the same time simpler because the realization is, well, fully-realized, which I think is because of Alfonso. The way Lucrezia cares for Alfonso is almost piteous, like she finds him endearing, she finds him innocent, she finds him to be something to protect and cherish platonically while Cesare disdains Alfonso because he finds his love for Lucrezia weak, he isn’t fierce enough for her, he isn’t severe in his affection, which in a way creates a situation where Lucrezia has to ask this question again:

to which Cesare responds:

so they both know that only they can provide for each other what they need, they’ve experienced that repeatedly by this point:

and because they both aren’t running from that realization anymore, they’re getting bolder:

but of course there’s shame:

which only intensifies the knowledge that they both want something that they shouldn’t want and then they finally give in once Lucrezia discovers once again on her wedding night that she can’t get from Alfonso or from anyone else what she can get from Cesare:

But what I actually enjoy about The Borgias is that the torment between Cesare and Lucrezia doesn’t stop after they finally give in and have sex, it’s not like things get easier, in fact things get so much more difficult because there is such a profound embarrassment and shame that they both feel after what happened:

Lucrezia describes it as a cloud descended upon her and she can’t consummate with her actual husband after what happened:

But those feelings don’t disappear, they eat away at the both of them to the point that Lucrezia breaks down when Cesare tells her that Alfonso’s uncle wants to see them actually consummate their marriage and starts hitting him, saying she loves him:

they’re both tormented by this in a way that’s not just about familial protection, Lucrezia doesn’t want to sleep with her husband especially not in front of his uncle and Cesare doesn’t want her to and that’s why Lucrezia gets her revenge by saying that Cesare has to watch

And when he actually watches her and Alfonso consummate, that is one of the scenes that was hardest for me to watch because it was so layered and so uncomfortable in how layered it was because Cesare is experiencing both pleasure and self-disgust at the same time. Lucrezia and him stare at each other as she has sex with Alfonso, its in fact the only way Lucrezia can even experience pleasure and Cesare is clearly turned on but hes crying at the same time

which leads to more embarrassment and more shame and more running away

but the fact that they’re abstaining from something just further intensifies the attraction/chemistry/love that they make a point of not fully giving in to:

and then that spawns a resentment but also an acceptance that they cant run from but that they can’t do anything with:

Until, once again, Alfonso.

While Alfonso never actually sees them do anything, the tension between them literally drives him to drink and he’s maddened by it,

which essentially causes him to fall on Cesare’s sword. And it isn’t until a further step in Lucrezia’s loss of innocence in which she reveals to Cesare that she knows how to kill Alfonso to end his pain that Cesare stops running from her and embraces the depravity of their bond and Lucrezia accepts that embrace literally with Alfonso’s dead body next to them:

All in all, I find them a very fascinating dynamic. Hope this did what you wanted!

It might at first seem attractive to say things like “Marxism can’t explain everything and although it is useful in its particular domain it’s not enough to explain the experiences of xyz, etc.”—but there’s a few things that people forget or don’t realize when they say that.

First, people mistake Marxism for a specific set of conclusions. When we realize that certain issues like racial or national oppression cannot be strictly analyzed through the lens of some pre-existing categories within the Marxist “canon,” we may be tempted to say that Marxism has reached its limit here. I must insist in contrast that, while i certainly feel many of the conclusions typically associated with Marxism are correct, all of these conclusions could actually be wrong and Marxism would still be “true” in the sense that it is most fundamentally a revolutionary way of approaching problems and enacting social change

Second, what is particularly insidious about the idea that Marxism “doesn’t apply” to this or that is the broader implication—which is quite consistent with postmodern theory in general—that different “domains” of life require us to use different approaches, different methodologies, different systems, etc. Wittgenstein, for example, was one of the people who most rigorously argued this, and he held that different domains of life were playing different “language games” which each had their own logic. One conclusion that follows from this is that no domain of social life is really poised to evaluate the validity of the others or appeal to universal truths. This can seem like a compelling line of reasoning, especially since it aligns with the dominant ideology of late capitalism. But it begins to fall apart when one realizes that, to even be able to distinguish where different domains of social life lie and what separates them requires a “global” logic by which you make the distinctions. Proponents of the notion that there can only be “local” theoretical and political systems tailored to the specific conditions of different “domains” do not at all escape appealing to universals; they simply leave the universal principles upon which they base their conclusion completely unsaid, which i feel is extremely dangerous. At least with the liberal humanists, although they simply assert universality from on-high and base their notion on the most vague of abstractions, you know what their assumptions are.

So the question is, what do you hold to be universal? Because without universality, the notion of specificity literally has no meaning.

What do i think? Well, i think Marxism as a theoretical and political practice does have boundaries, but it is able to evaluate where its own boundaries lie utilizing certain principles which are universal. To be precise materialist dialectics contain statements about the very nature of existence which are of necessity global. The fact that materialist dialectics are the product of a concrete practice—namely, taking the standpoint of proletariat in the realm of theory—does not jeopardize their universal “reach.” In fact, i would say that the proletariat, a force which occurs at the point where the various contradictions of society fuse, is particularly poised to access the universal.

Further, the boundaries of Marxism as assessed under the framework of materialist dialectics are larger than many people assume. Remember that Marx does not simply presuppose social class and then analyze society through that lens. Marxism is ultimately interested in the social formation as a whole and in particular in the transformation of that social whole. Marx arrives at the concept of social class as a result (not as the point of departure!) of the study of the social formation in its entirety (which is also why he really only began to concretely articulate the concept of class near the end of his life). So, Marxism is immediately relevant whenever we are talking about the revolutionary transformation of social life. And i am convinced that it remains the best tool for catalyzing revolutionary change there is. After all, it is not a coincidence that the most successful revolutionary movements around the globe have either been explicitly communist or have at least tried to appropriate certain elements of Marxism to suit their purposes.

Long story short, Marxism as a whole “package” may have limits, but they are broader than most people assume, and within Marxism there are universal principles, without which it is impossible to even distinguish what is specific. 

Princess Tutu and Grand Narrative

Once upon a time, there was a clumsy school girl granted the power to transform into the magical ballerina Princess Tutu.

“Once upon a time” is a familiar phrase used to connect stories that take place in lands distant and times different from one another into the same fairytale world. Each episode of the anime Princess Tutu begins with this familiar phrase and then proceeds to tell a story both known and new, where Hans Christian Anderson’s Ugly Ducking becomes Odette, the Swan Queen, from Swan Lake, thanks to the magic of the mysterious Drosselmeyer, who bares a striking resemblance to the character of the same name from The Nutcracker. Princess Tutu is not just a retelling of a handful of fairy tales, it’s an adaptation of stories across literature, ballet, opera, and of course, anime. Each piece of Princess Tutu’s narrative belongs to worlds larger than its own. The series challenges paradigms about typical narrative creation by weaving together multiple “grand narratives”.

While working as an editor for Kadokawa Shoten in the late 80s, Otsuka Eiji wrote a paper called “World and Variation: The Reproduction and Consumption of Narrative” in which he explains the idea of the grand narrative. An individual story only gives the audience a small glimpse into that wider world that the story is set in. This wider world is full of countless narratives told from countless perspectives that make up the grand narrative. Eiji uses the Gundam franchise to illustrate this concept where any given episode of the anime is a small snapshot of narrative within the larger universe(s) Gundam takes place in. Eiji explains, “Countless other [stories] could exist if someone else were the main character.”

Everyone is the main character of their own story. But most of these stories that make up the grand narrative of a world are hidden from view. It’s impossible to tell every story at once and have it be comprehensible. Instead we can only consume small bite-sized narratives that give us a snapshot of the (hopefully) interesting parts of a protagonist’s life. But who, exactly, is controlling these smaller narratives? This is a question faced by the characters of Princess Tutu.

The concept of shifting protagonists and expanding the audience’s view into the grand narrative heavily ties into Princess Tutu’s premise. The anime’s story is catalyzed by Drosselmeyer, the author of a fictitious book called The Prince and The Raven. The book’s ending is a stalemate between the titular characters so Drosselmeyer decides to promote the minor character of Princess Tutu to the role of main character to help the story move forward.

As you can probably tell by the name, Princess Tutu is heavily influenced by ballet. One of the show’s more significant influences is Swan Lake. Through the anime’s re-purposing of Swan Lake’s Odette as a magical girl, Princess Tutu continues to uphold ballet’s tradition of adapting the story for its own purposes.

Princess Tutu and Odette

The basic story of Swan Lake is about a prince falling in love with a girl cursed to be a swan from sunrise to sunset by an evil sorcerer. The sorcerer tricks the prince into confessing his love for his daughter, Odile, instead of the swan girl thus dooming the swan girl’s chance at true love and breaking the curse.

Amanda Kennell, an American scholar, outlines in her paper “Origin and Ownership from Ballet to Anime” Swan Lake’s production history and the evolution of the ballet’s narrative. The original staging in 1877 had the story end with the villain going unpunished and the two lovers drowning in a flood. In a revival staging from 1895 the villain was defeated and the two lovers reunited in heaven after throwing themselves into a lake. In a single scene production called The Magic Swan from the 1940s, the iconic “black swan” was introduced setting the precedent for the same ballerina to play the role of Odette and Odile in striking white and black costumes. And finally, another staging in 2006, not only adopted the White and Black Swan motif, but also changed the ending once again so that the prince kills the villain and he and Odette live happily ever after.

Despite each staging of the classic having significant differences, none of the variations are cast away as counterfeits. The value of the production isn’t in how close it is to the original Swan Lake but instead in the relative merit of each variation. In fact, it doesn’t really matter which you consider “the original” where the additions made by each carry their own merit and add to Swan Lake’s grand narrative. In this same regard, it would be acceptable to consider Princess Tutu another variation on the world of Swan Lake’s grand narrative.

There is terminology for this phenomenon in Kabuki theater. Eiji points out in his paper the similarities between the concepts of Sekai (world) and Shukou (plot) from Kabuki theater and his ideas of the grand narrative and the smaller narratives.

In Kabuki, Sekai represents the world a story takes place in and Shukou represents the story that is a product of that world. Each staging of a Kabuki play is its own Shukou derived from either a single Sekai or the mixing of Sekai. What matters in creating a good performance is not necessarily conveying the Sekai but instead the relative merit of the Shukou’s take on things. No performance is exactly the same and different actors bring different strengths to a performance and in turn provide a different experience for the audience’s entertainment. This of course carries over to more art forms than just Kabuki, classic ballet is in a similar position where entire songs are sometimes re-choreographed just to match the strengths of an individual ballerina. Ballet in particular has a long tradition of making minor and major changes to suit an individual performance. Whether it be tweaking choreography or straight up giving the story a different ending. The evolution of Swan Lake’s production is an excellent example of how productions of what are considered to be the same story can dramatically vary.

But Princess Tutu borrows from more stories than just Swan Lake. This brings us back to Kabuki and the idea of mixing Sekai in order to create another Shukou.

Princess Tutu takes pieces of classic stories and rearranges them to create something simultaneously familiar and completely new. Princess Tutu is not forging a new Shukou from only Swan Lake’s Sekai, but instead is connecting the canon of European literature and performing arts together into an even more extensive grand narrative.

Just look at the series’ opening for example, where Swan Lake and The Nutcracker are intertwined with one another as the anime’s titular character is dressed in the ballet costume of Odette and dances to The Nutcracker’s Flower Waltz to simultaneously combine the worlds of two ballets while producing an entirely new moment unique to the Princess Tutu anime.

The anime ends on the implication that if one person tries to control a story and the grand narrative it’s connected to, that person will fail. Princess Tutu is an excellent reminder of how stories are dynamic. Stories end up taking on a life of their own evolving, expanding and being reworked by both creators and consumers.

Eiji explains that once the consumers feel they have a grasp on the grand narrative they are free to produce their own small narratives from it. This is exactly how its creators forged Princess Tutu from the grand narrative of classic literature and performing arts. Just as mangaka can’t help it if a doujinshi adds to the narrative of their original story, Travosky can’t control the new life his ballets have taken on in Princess Tutu. Stories will take on a life of their own, abandon the need for an original and become a part to a larger grand narrative to be consumed and reworked over and over.

Pro Ana Weight Loss Tips and Tricks

1. Drink one glass of water every hour. It will make you feel full.
2. Drink ice cold water. Your body will burn calories just getting the water to a normal temperature to digest. Also it is great for your complexion.
3. Drink 3 cups of green tea daily. It will help boost your metabolism, plus its anti-oxidants make your skin look great.
4. Take vitamins daily. Do not take vitamins on an empty stomache, otherwise they have nothing to catalyze with.
5. Eat ice or gum when hungry. This will make your body think it had food without the calories.
6. Do aerobics until you want to faint.
7. Eat spicy foods. They raise your metabolism.
8. Take cold showers because your body will burn calories to heat you back up.
9. DON’T take laxatives. They don’t help you to lose weight.
10. DON’T use diruretics. They only dehydrate you.
11. Brush your teeth constantly so you won’t be tempted to eat afterwards.
12. Weat a rubberband around your wrist. Snap it when you want to eat.
13. Clean something gross (toilet, litter box, boyfriend’s closet) when you want to eat. You will not want to eat after cleaning a litter box.
14. Keep your hair in good condition so no one will suspect anything.
15. Get a job so you’ll have to work through meal times.
16. Exercise twice the amount of calories eaten.
17. Use smaller plates and utensils so it seems like you ate more.
18. Chew eat bite of food thoroughly and then take a sip of water between bites. You will feel full quicker and will not eat as much.
19. Say you are going to eat at a friend’s house and instead go for a walk. You will be burning calories instead of taking them in.
20. Buy clothes that you can’t fit into and hang them wear you can see them. This will motivate you to lose weight to fit into them.
21. Sleep at least six hours a day. If you get less than six this can lower your metabolism by 15%.
22. If you start to feel hungry do situps or punch yourself in the stomach. You will not feel hungry anymore.
23. Pamper yourself! Give yourself a facial, paint your nails, anything to make you feel pretty.
24. Make yourself a snack, but instead of eating it throw it away. Leave the dirty dishes whereyour parents can find them. They will think you ate.
25. Prepare a list of excuses as to why you can’t eat - You’re sick, you’re a vegetarian, allergic, etc. You’d be amazed at how many good excuses there are.
26. Get out of your house! If you’re not sitting around then people can’t start shit with you about not eating.
27. Join a pro-ana group or start your own website. Anything that will keep you motivated.
28. Make an ANA scrapbook with pics of skinny models. Right down all the reasons you want to lose weight. Keep track of everything you eat. Look at it daily for thinsperation.
29. Keep good posture, burns 10% more calories when you sit up straight.
30. Instead of food, buy something else, a new shirt, flowers, jewelrey etc.
31. Make a list of all the “bad” foods that you crave and tend to binge on. Each day, pick one to take out of your diet that you absolutely, no matter what, cannot eat again. Take one off the list each day until there are no more bad foods you can have.
32. Avoid alcohol! A shot of liquor has 100-120 calories, a glass of wine has 80 calories, a lite beer has 110-120 calories, and a regular beer has 140-170 calories.
33. Never eat anything bigger than about a cup, your stomach will expand and then you’ll get hungry more.
34. Eat in front of a mirror naked. See how much you can eat then!
35. The smell of coffee is suppose to supress appetite.
36. Wear perfectly applied lip gloss. It makes you more aware of what’s going in your mouth. Also, flavored ones help with cravings.
37. Have 6 small meals a day. Take 2 apples, and split them so you can make 6 meals out of them. That way your body will be tricked into thinking it’s eating more.
38. Low calorie hot chocolate curbs chocolate cravings, and makes you feel full.
39. Take anti-heartburn pills if you’re really hungry. They nuetralize the acid that builds and makes you hungry.
40. Take a picture of yourself wearing a bathing suit or something equally revealing, look at it when you want to eat.
41. It takes 20 minutes for the brain to realize the stomach is full.
42. When you get hunger pains curl into a ball, it makes them go away.
43. If you’re a smoker and hungry, light up a cigarette. It curbs your appetite.
44. Eat lots of fiber. It makes you feel full and takes fat with it out of your body. The natural cleansing helps improve both your energy level and overall feeling of wellness.
45. Before you dig into that cake, bag of chips, candy, or whatever, take a deep breath and count to 100. Usually by the time you get to 100 you will have convinced yourself that you don’t really want it.
46. When you’re hungry chug 2 glasses (or how many you need) of straight water. It’ll make you so full and nauseous you will have completely lost your appetite.
47. Celery actually burns calories. Every hour eat a stalk of it. Not only will it fill you up, but it will also get your metabolism kickin’.
48. Weigh yourslef before and after every time you eat. Not only will it eliminate unnecessary eating, but it will make you want to eat less when you see the numbers creep up.
49. Read the nutritional information. Remember, fat-free does not mean calorie-free. Also keep an eye on fiber content. Get as much fiber into your diet as you can, while cutting fat and calories.
50. Don’t eat a lot at once. Spread your food throughout the day. This will help to avoid binging and keep your metabolism going.
51. If you like to drink alcohol, you’ll like this. Make a rule: You can only drink every time you lose 2lbs. So, if you lose 4lbs a week, you can drink Friday and Saturday night. However, if you only lose 2lbs a week, you only get to drink one night.
52. Do not eat in front of the computer or TV. This distracts you from recognizing you’re full.
53. Save the money you would have spent on that meal in a jar. Save it in a bottle instead and watch it grow.
54. Stay away from Slim-fast and other so-called “healthy” candy bars and shakes… one look at the nutition facts will tell you why. With all the carbs and excess calories you may as well go eat a freakin pie or something. Not to mention the rediculous prices… save yourself the money, and the calories.
55. Instead of buying food, buy yourself flowers. Food is depressing, but flowers make you happy.
56. When having cravings drink a couple glasses of water with slices of lemons and count to 100 and it should go away.
57. Eating 100 cals 4 times a day is better than eating a 400 cal meal.
58. An occasional binge doesn’t hurt, in fact it’s quite beneficial if you have reached a plateau (stopped losing weight). Your body will think you have stopped starving yourself, and you will drop at least a pound overnight! Just don’t binge too regularly!
59. Someone told me that if you take a pure cold bath for 15-30 min and lower your body temp, your body burns around 200 cals for every degree it has to raise itself to reach a normal body temperture. This person tried it, a 30 min bath lowered their temp about 3-4 degrees

I Think I Wanna Marry You...(Part 5)

Pairing: Dean x Reader

Summary: Time is running out as Y/N and Dean try and maneuver their way around this new conflict whilst keeping their cover…Easy, right?

Warnings: Swearing, mild angst; Castiel is clueless

Word count: 5k (yikes)

Part 1, 

Part 2 Part 3 ,Part 4

A/N:  Way overdue, but here it is! surprise surprise: our favorite angel finally makes an appearance.

PS. Big shoutout to all my Boston-born pals. No hate, this is all purely for fictional purposes and I’m sure you guys and your town rule!

Tagging:
@captainaudreystark
@mayainneverland

@hannahhyese
@nakedshowerdean

@haileyboo1210
@fallengrimes

Apologies if I forgot to tag you, let me know in my inbox and I’ll be sure to in the next part.                      

                                         ~*~*~*~


Dean’s footsteps are thunderous thuds as he stalks down the hallway, fists bawled and jaw clenched. He makes a turn for the right, heads to the elevator that takes him to the ground floor and makes his way out onto the terrace where the party is going.


His eyes scan the perimeter in search of Sam; he’d left him in the company of Emma and Y/N’s cousin Brendon, talking about politics and nerd-things (Dean’s conclusion: yawn). Turning to the right, he spots Marilyn and Y/N’s father. The noise around him swarms his mind, clouding it, only catalyzing the agitation stewing in him. Dean scowls and then heads to an empty table by a dropping willow tree.


His footsteps crunch against the grass as he moves to take seat, and finally resting his head in his hands. He lets his eyes shut. Exhales. Sighs.

Y/N.


How did he get here? All he can is being sent up to get her, taking her things along with him, and then in the blink of an eyes, here he is. A labored breath leaves Dean and he sits up, leaning back in his seat. Instead, he decides, he might as well allows himself to observe the crowd for now. To recollect. Lamenting on this entire situation is out of the question—if he gives it too much attention, things could get wild in his head. Could swell larger than they need to be, and so he allows his gaze to skim the crowd, when he catches the eye of a familiar face glaring at him.


And then the elder Winchester’s jaw tenses.


Rick.


Rick standing in the centre of the crowd, mingling with the guests; Rick, despite the conversation he’s engulfed in, staring him down like a hawk.


Rick coming towards him.


Mind hazy, Dean has to do a double take, squinting to make sure he’s right. And apparently he is—the dark-haired man is sauntering across the garden, a beer in hand, sporting a composed smile.


Dean waits anxiously before he approaches, halting a few feet from the table. He raises his bottle. “Pleasant evening, isn’t it? It’s a surprise to see someone spending it alone.”


“Maybe that’s what makes it so ‘pleasant’” He sneers the word as though it’s venomous, like the mere syllables cause his tongue to burn. “…because I’m alone.”


“Not gonna lie: that’s sad.”


Dean shrugs. He doesn’t know why, but apparently Rick stupidly takes this as an acquiesce for him to join him, because he then drags a seat out from the table and sits himself down opposite the elder Winchester.


Rick’s smile softens. “Dean, right?”


“Winchester.”


“Yeah, Y/N’s boyfriend.” Rick nods in understanding as he offers his hand. “We met—rick.”


“I know.”


An awkward silence befalls as Rick’s expression falters, and he shyly tucks his hand back at his side, clearing his throat. “Right.” He mumbles. “So—how are you liking everything in Boston? Y/N told me you’ve never really been well acquainted with these parts. She said you’ve only been here—once, twice?”


Dean nods. He’s not really in the mood for company; and doesn’t want them to, but for odd reason the words end up leaving him anyway.  “Twice. Business trip that lasted three days and then we were outta here.”


“Never thought of coming back.” Rick asks with a quirked brow, and the elder Winchester shakes his head. “What about Y/N? No interest in seeing where she came from?”


“Why do you care?”


“I…don’t. I’m…just..making conversation.”


“Well then maybe you should stop.”


Rick’s brows shoot up in surprise.


Dean is steady and as stoic as a soldier, his expression giving away no sign of emotion. Green eyes are dead set on the hazel ones across the table, and in the air thick with a newfound tension dangles another silence


After a moment, Rick clears his throat. “So, uhm, Dean,” He continues, trying to sidestep the awkwardness. “Y/N said that you two are partners. You work together in the squad?”


“Yup.” This is getting beyond mind-numbingly boring; Dean really doesn’t like this guy. Like, really doesn’t like him. And he knows it’s untheical, and he knows he’s being petty (likes that’s new), but he doesn’t care enough to do anything about it because just because he’s somebody else for these two weeks doesn’t mean he needs to abandon his actual traits.


”That would explain how we’re partners.” He rolls his eyes, averting his gaze to the far left when all fo a sudden he notices a movement.


Then the elder Winchester’s senses heighten; drowning all peripheral sounds out, he focuses on the shift, the patter of feet, a shadow cast upon the damp ground. A large male figure. Getting closer. Closer.


“Right, I forgot.” Rick laughs casually, throwing back some beer. Wiping the corner of his mouth with his cuff, he then returns his focus to Dean who tries to look less like a hunter. “So you’re a cadet, too?”


“Uhm….” His eyes skitter. Th strange ris getting closer, his walk rigid. “Yeah…Cadet. I’ve been on the force for almost four years now.”


“That’s a lot.”


“Mhm.”


“Dean.”


When he turns his head, much to his relief, it’s Sam. The younger Winchester walks up to the table, looks down at Dean, his long brown hair swooping around his face like a curtain.


“You alright?”


Befuddled momentarily, Dean nods.“Yeah…”


Sam eyes him dubiously, then looks at Rick. He smiles at the younger Winchester. Turning back to his brother, Sam announces, “Cas is here.”


“What?”


“He just arrived. He’s, uhm, waiting in the lobby. Says he wants to talk to you there.”


“Oh..right….” Cluelessly, the elder Winchester then casts Rick a cursory look. He inhales and stands. “Gotta go, buddy. Talk later.”


“Oh, uh—“And then they leave.


The dark-haired man, befuddled, says something, watching as the pair begin to move, but Dean is already so out of earshot that he doesn’t bother. He follows Sam through the crowd and out of the garden, into the garish lighting of the lobby.


Sat at one of the black leather couches, Cas looks around the room a few times, shifty-eyed, until his gaze rests on the elder Winchester and his panic dissolves. He pushes himself up, eyes focused on Dean.


“There you are.”


“Cas, where have you been? I left you like six voicemails.”


“I’ve been busy. Heaven’s duties, tracking Crowley, i…”The angel exhales, averting his gaze. “I’m sorry. I would have gotten here sooner.” He explains, then turns to Sam. “Where’s Y/N?”


“What are you wearing?” Dean’s eyes slide over his friend’s attire: brown khakis, a salmon button up with an orange spotted tie, and sandals. Morbid. Unethical. If Dean had a blow-torch with him, he’d set it on max and go to town.


Horrified eyes lift to Cas’ apologetic face. “Sam told me to dress casual.” He explains.


“Yeah, casual, not train wreck.”


“That’s not very nice.”


“I could say the same about that tie—or the whole ensemble.” With a slight repulsed face, Dean dismisses it with a shake of the head and wave of a hand. They’re on a tight schedule.


“Come on, I think I have something you can wear. People are starting to stare.” He then ushers Cas along with him up to their bedroom, until the realization strikes him like a bolt of lightning. The elder Winchester, cursing internally, then turns to Sam.


“You have to go in there.”


“What?”


“I can’t. Y/N and I, we…” He sighs and averts his gaze, desperate to sequester his embarrassment from the public eye. “We got into a fight. She wanted to me to leave, I can’t go back in there.”


“A fight about what?”


“Does it matter?” Dean snaps, and Sam’s eyes lift in surprise at his tone. “She doesn’t want me in the room. You’re going to have to get Cas’ clothes. We’ll be downstairs.”


“I could go get them.”Castiel offers.


The elder hunter shakes his head. The music from downstairs is floating all the way up here, drowning his focus. “Not looking like that. Y/N’s sad as it is, that whole outfit will just bring her down.”


“What did you do?” Sam asks.


“Dean…”


The two speak simultaneously, Cas’ tone admonishing and Sam sounding like he’s tired of this story before he’s even heard it and Dean doesn’t have time for this. Instead of staying here to explain himself, with an indignant huff he pivots and stalks back down the hall, before suddenly bumping into someone.


He feels the smack right in his chest and winces at the contact, stepping aside as something clatters to the floor. The other person curses, and before he can even open his eyes Dean knows who it is.


“What are you doing here?”


“What does it look like?”


Y/N bends to pick up the sheets of paper on the floor. Meanwhile, Sam and Cas hurry over, they’re expressions unreadable once his gaze meet with hers.


Clutching the papers to her chest, Y/N’s face breaks out into a surprised, slightly confused smile.


“Cas…You made it!”


The angel can’t help it; his expression cracks, too, as he goes in for a brief hug. “Of course I did.” He says. The moment is cut short by Dean scoffing.


“Yeah, wait a few days and she’ll get tired fo you.” He remarks.


“You have a bone to pick, Winchester?”


Dean shrugs and looks away, pouting like a child. “Maybe…”


“Okay, okay, that’s enough.” Sam intervenes, because Y/N looks like she’s about to knock a man’s teeth out. He looks to her and his brother, arm still keeping her a safe distance from the elder Winchester. “Man, you two are acting like kids.”


“How else do you want me to act, Sam?! Y/N’s being ridiculous about this whole thing..”


“Excuse you…”


“Oh, so I’m supposed to sleep out in the hall now just because I said something that hurt your feelings?”


Y/N bites her lip to keep from spitting venom, her arms like tentacles wrapped tightly around the papers as she glares bitterly. Dean, with his eyes wild and jaw clenched once more, challenges her gaze, but it only takes a minute before he realizes something: she’s changed out of her old clothes, now sporting one of her dresses from back home reserved for the dinners.


The elder Winchester’s expression softens as his eyes slide over her frame. They rest on her face pink with anger. “You changed.”


“No shit.” Y/N spits, brow still creased, steam still puffing from her ears. Her nails at this point are digging into the papers. “I was just downstairs. I thought about what you said and realized that if I didn’t show, then they’d suspect something was up. I couldn’t risk blowing our cover.”


“Why didn’t you tell me?”


“You think I didn’t try to? It’s not my fault you were off somewhere being an ass.”


“Hey, stop it.” Sam chastises as he shoots Y/N a glare. She glances at him and then the floor, abashed.


“Well,” Cas begins, speaking up for the first time in eons. “…none of that matters now. At least Y/N managed to keep your cover. For tonight.” He glances between the two of them, emphasizing his words. “But from now on you two can’t go around acting like you’re anything less than partners. It could put this entire mission at risk.”


“Mission…”Dean scoffs. “…this is all just a big joke. I have no idea why even agreed.”


“Neither do I, jackass. I should have asked Sam.” Y/N, tears brimming in her eyes, shakes her head then shoves the papers into Sam’s chest.


“Here’s the new agenda. There’s been a change of plans. The binder says it all.” She says, before squeezing through the wall of the three men and rushing to her room, Dean’s eyes following her.


When she slams the door, the walls tremble.


                                                         ~*~*~*~

The next day is a disaster. Between runs for cake samples, trips to the florists and fittings, Y/N is forced into the presence of Dean and company—Sam and Cas, trying their best to keep the two from fighting in front of the family. On the brightside, so far so good. They’ve barely uttered any profanities to the other. They’ve barely spoken overall. A few words here and there, the occasional peck on the cheek (barf) for the sake of reputation, but other than that they haven’t spoken.


Mainly because Y/N doesn’t want to. Because after the previous night, she wants nothing more than to avoid Dean at all costs, and it’s been hard. Impossible, almost. Without the other in sight, one of them is always hounded by the family, which makes staying mad at her sweetheart more tedious than needed.


It’s Thursday morning when they’re out on the two running some more errands. Being forced to hold hands with him as they stroll down the boulevard makes her skin seethe like a vampire in the sun. She’s angry—how can she not be?


“Easy there, anaconda. Your holding my hand not your prey.”


“Bite me.” She sneers as she slips her hand from his, jiggling it to dissolve the feeling of his calloused hands.


At one point she would have done the opposite; she’d relish the feeling of Dean’s palm against hers, crave it. There were instances where the only reasons they’d be holding hands was because Y/N wanted them to, and now all of that had vanished as fast as it came.


They pass an open bakery, an Indian restaurant perfumed by the scent of curry and then make a left. Because of the wedding being moved closer, all the planning has been catalyzed. This means that there’s a ton of activities Y/N and her folks had planned to carry out within the following days that they have to get accomplished by Saturday, and so to make things move a lot faster, they’ve been separated into groups. Bridal party A: Y/N, Castiel and the Winchesters and Bridal B which includes her mom, S/P/N, Emma and Aunt Steph. Brendon and the guys, she’s been told, are handling things back at the hotel. Seating arrangements, catering.


Their assignment? Getting the ring.


The store is a quaint white structure sandwiched between an antique parlor and restaurant, bouquets of a vast variety lining the entire wall, a colorful welcome as they scuttle in. Y/N keeps her hands in her pockets, walking a safe distance away from Dean. He probably thinks she hasn’t noticed, but he’s not very discreet when he keeps sneaking glances her way.


But she ignores him.


Cas and Dean move to the front desk to speak to the employee smiling welcomingly at them while Y/N remains with Sam by the exit.


He looks over to her. With her arms crossed over her chest, she’s looking at some earrings in the display case.


“So you’re not gonna forgive him, huh?” He prompts. She shrugs. A ring with a diamond the size of a nugget glints in the daylight and she rounds the display to take a closer look.


“Nope.” Is her simple reply.


“Come on, Y/N…” Sam almost pleads. “You know that this is all gonna blow over. It always does. The two of you can never actually stay mad at each other.”


“Watch me then. He’s gonna stew this time.”


“But not forever, right?”


She looks up and he’s at her side. There’s a small, polite and almost knowing smile on his face. One she’s seen before. One she hates to see because of the truth it holds, the gospel behind it. Y/N sighs then looks away…and that’s good enough of an answer for Sam. His simper then grows into a teasing smirk and he leaves to go see what Cas and his brother are up to.


Watching him go, the young girl bites her lip, her mind gripped by the reality the younger Winchester just showed her. He’s right. It’s inevitable—she’s going to forgive Dean. No matter how much she denies it, she always does, so what’s the point of just postponing it all?


Getting it done now would be much easier, she reasons as she moves to the earrings display. So what if Dean’s ego is pampered by her surrender? So what if she has to be the one to cave—it’s not like anyone is keeping score? They’re not. They’re not petty like that…


But still.


Y/n feels reluctance tug at the strings of her heart.  When they’re done the trio walks up to her and tells her it’s time to leave. Apparently there’s been a bit of a delay.


“The ring will be ready by Saturday.” Castiel offers. “We pick it up first thing in the morning.”


“Looking at some rocks, huh, Y/N? Don’t get your hopes up.” Dean says as he takes a look. His eyes survive the vast variety, skittering from jewel to jewel. “I’m not making buying you stuff from every store we go to a habit. The scarf was just for show.”


“I didn’t—“ Y/N begins, defenses on already, but quickly stops herself.


Eyes narrowed, she clamps her lips shut and stares. He fingers a diamond pendant on the shelf. With a shake of her head, she tries to ignore his remarks, and sidesteps him, moving as fast as she can to get out of the door.


As if the day wasn’t odd enough, it’s Sam who drives them back to the hotel.


Y/N, with her back terse and nails digging into the leather seats, now knows why Dean never lets his little brother.


Because, boy, is he rocky. She doesn’t know if it’s like this all the time, but the car feels like a cruising deathtrap. They race down the road at an unholy speed. Much to her surprise, Dean says nothing. He’s quiet. Dead silent, entranced instead by the scenery zipping by in a flash.


“Damn, Sammy, cool it.”


“Oh, sorry, Y/N.”


“Don’t like it fast, huh?” Dean speaks for the first time since they got in.


Turning her attention to him, she shoots him a glare. He doesn’t notice it, though. Too busy staring out the window. Engulfed by his own thoughts. Apparently not enough to miss the chance to poke fun at her.


“Relax, Y/N…” the elder hunter continues, finally turning around to look her in the eye. Expression bored, his lips quirk up in a dead smirk. “…he’s just trying to get you there quickly. You don’t like that either?”


“Dean…”


“Hm…Maybe it’s a good thing you didn’t pick Sam to be your squeeze for the wedding. Otherwise things in the bedroom would be real awkward, am’irite?”


“Dean!” Sam admonishes.


Y/N fights the blush flooding her face. With a glad grin, the elder Winchester glances at his brother then back at her. The satisfaction is written out in the way his lips twitch, the smugness of his expression that she chooses to ignore because if she doesn’t, then things might get ugly…


“Can you stop acting like a child?”


“Why don’t you make me?”


“Is this some type of flirtation?” Cas’ voice cuts through the noise, dripping with cluelessness and earnest curiosity. Dean laughs. So does Sam. Y/N, she only rolls her eyes and turns to the window.


“I just don’t see why we’re in a rush. I mean, we still have like—“ she glances back at the car-clock, “—two and a half hours till they need us back at the hotel. Almost three.”


“So…what? You guys wanna go do something?”


“What’s there to do, Sam? It’s Boston.”


“We could go to the museum…? I hear their exhibitions are immensely meticulous and well done. It shouldn’t take us less than—“


“No one really wants to go to the museum, Cas, but we appreciate the participation.” Clapping him on the shoulder, Dean shakes his head. His eyes shoot to her. “Y/N: where to, since you are the local?”


“What?”


“Well, you did leave here your entire childhood.” Sam reasons, shooting her a glance in the rearview mirror. “You’ve gotta know some place that’s…I don’t know—fun?”


“Fun? In Boston?” She scoffs. “Please.”


“What about a movie?”


“For three hours?”


“Oh, right…uhm….” They all think in silence, and Y/N lets them.


The truth is this: she does know a fun place. She knows a ton. It’s freaking Boston. She knows the woods just out of town she’d sneak off to with her friends after school and she knows some of the best burger joints you can find. She’s got eyes all over this damn town, in all the cracks and crannies that you can find, but getting her to confess is nothing but a far-fetched plan, she thinks—until the boredom starts to weigh in on her too.


Biting her lips, she reluctantly begins. “I think i have an idea…”


The chatter then quiets as all eyes flit to her constricted face telling just how badly she doesn’t want to say it. Y/N gulps. It’s only one option on the (long) list of many…


                                                  ~*~*~*~

The sky is clear by the time they get there.


A vast stretch of blue across the town, a few tufts of white clouds here and there. It’s not going to rain, apparently. Not with the air clear and warm and dancing against the apples of Y/N’s cheeks.


She stops walking for a moment, staring at the cluster before her. Trees upon trees. Thick, evergreen, covering a radius of roughly ten miles, and before it the playground where they stand. Sand. A slide with chipped blue paint and abandoned swings. Usually this place is full but taken the fact that it’s a Thursday leaves it marooned, the only presences being those of adults and teenage couples roaming around in the park.


Whipping to face them, Y/N flashes the boys a tight smile. “This is it.”


“A park?” Dean’s voice, although surprised, holds no offensive tone. He squints at the light as he takes a look around, eyes resting on the little gates of the entrance. “This is what you call fun?”


“Extremely. Look,” She walks over and taps the slide’s chipped paint. “…it even has a playground just for kiddies like you.”

“I’ll join you on the slide, Dean.” Cas supplements with a smile and Y/N chuckles.


The gates let out an aged squeak as they push through. The boulevard is a wide stretch of cobble with parks on the sides with people playing instruments, a guy in rollerblades doing tricks. She remembers coming here all the time, being one of these personalities strumming her ukulele for some extra doe


“Check it out.” Smiling, Sam points to a girl doing a full back-bend and a man laying eggs on her extended torso. They all smile and make their way over. Apparently, she’s an acrobat putting her skills to sue for the same reason Y/N did, and so they leave her with a couple of dollars and a coupon to Denny’s before moving on.


They move from person to person to food-kart when Dean’s stomach starts to rumble.


“I feel like chili-dogs.”


“When do you not feel like chili dogs, Winchester?” Y/N smiles as she hands the vender the money. “You always feel like chili dogs.”


“Is there any other genuine feeling?”


“Apparently not.” She mumbles. A few feet away Sam and Cas are buying cotton candy, when the younger Winchester turns around.


He jerks a thumb back, raising his voice. “Do you guys want some?”


“No, we’re good.” Y/N shouts back, and he gives them a thumbs up before turning back to the guy holding two fluffy blue blobs. They’re handed two large sandwiches, then wander further down the path until they’re in the opening near the pond. There are trees everywhere and a few people dotted across the grass, the pond glistening in the sunlight, and Dean’s about to sit when Y/N stops him.


“Not here.” She says.


The elder Winchester, already halfway into his seat, furrows his brow. “What?”


She only waves for him to follow and continues.


He does.


It takes them roughly eight minutes to get to an isolated spot further into the park and Y/N is smiling proudly. A large oak sprouts from the ground and they settle down beneath it.


“Ugh, if S/P/N could see me now she’d scold me sore.” She says, un-tucking the napkins around her sandwich as they sit. “This is a total no-no for someone trying to stay fit for a wedding.”


“It’s not like you’re the bride, anyway. What’s that saying, again? Always the bridesmaid never the bride?”


“Really, Dean?”


He shrugs then takes big bite out of his sandwich Some marinara dribbles down his mouth and onto his chin. These ends of the park, for all the years she’s known them, are never fully. They never have anyone but Y/N and whatever company she strings along with her, and because of this the quiet that settles between them is deafening, encompassing.


She stares out at the pond glimmering like mercury, the ducks waddling over it in tiny clusters. A fond smile creeps onto her face. She remembers. Everything. She remembers hot summers spent dipping her legs in the water and cut-off shorts that bleached from the sun. She remembers ice-cream trickling down her wrist; laughs with friends and furtive I love you’s hidden somewhere in the intimacy of this place. She remembers, because she can’t win the fight not to.


“I used to come here a ton when I was a kid.”  She says, breaking the silence.

Dean turns to her. His expression is simple, mouth still dressed with marinara sauce and brow furrowed with a newfound interest.. “Really?”


She nods “S/P/N used to bring me.. When we were like ten, she’d tell my mum we were going to the library and we’d come here instead, sneak off to this little sequestered zone to…” She shrugs. “…skip stones, listen to music. I used to feel like the coolest kid on the block just ‘cause I was hanging out with teenagers. But…when I got older we sorta stopped. She went off to college, so I inherited the safe zone. Used to sneak off here after school with my friends.


“You had friends? Wow…” Eyes wide and lips quirked subtly, his tone is evidently teasing. Y/N laughs softly. Genuinely. There’s still a hint of earnest that tells her he’s a bit surprised, but she understands; despite having lived with the boys for so long, there’s not much they know about her life before hunting.


“Yup.” She answers. “A whole pack. They were nice, too—really nice, and we had a lot of fun before I left. Here, there, all over city, the state even. But, after that, things kinda…fizzled out.” A hint of melancholy seeps into her tone as she averts her gaze to the ground, quieting for a moment. She can feel Dean’s eyes on her, prying, interested in hearing what it is she has to say. The tension between evaporates. They’re no longer foes on this park bench, not with the newfound intimacy that seems to envelope them.


It’s hard re-opening this wound right in front of someone, in front of Dean. He knows her— for all the years they’ve been partners, for all the wholeness of her herself she has given him he knows her, but telling all this comes harder than she thought it would. There’s a knot in her chest refusing to untangle, that doesn’t want her to spill all this now, but it’s about time… Sighing, she swallows and turns to him. She blinks, expression saddened.


“You know why I hate this place so much? Massachusetts, Boston?” She asks.


Dean shakes his head.


“Because I had a life here. A good life. And I left a lot behind when I left to hunt.”


“Y/N…”


She can feel the tears stinging her eyes and tries to blink them away. They won’t budge. Instead they spill over, trickling down the curve of her cheek. She doesn’t want to remember having it all, because it means recalling leaving it behind. And it hurts—God, does it hurt.


Biting her lip, she sniffles and another tear trickles down her cheek. “I hate this stupid town,…” She says Carefully. Quietly. Her voice is hoarse and is at the precipice of cracking.


“Come on, Y/N…”


“I can’t wait to leave.”


And that’s all it takes.


And she’s in his arms, head rested on his chest, face pink and wet and fingers knotted together because she can’t breathe. Her chest stutters, falling as fast as it rises. Dean, smoothing his hand over her arm, tells her to breathe, to relax.


“I can’t, Dean…” Tears trickle down her cheeks as she shakes her head. “God, I can’t wait for this wedding to be over. To get out of this place.”


“Y/N, listen to me.” He coos, somehow managing to pacify her, because she actually does. Sniffling, she tips her head back and their eyes meet. Green on y/e/c. His eyes swim with a sadness, an anguish she can’t bring herself to understand.


Gulping thickly, the elder Winchester gathers his thoughts. His courage. Watching this is more painful than imagined; just because they fought, it doesn’t mean Dean doesn’t still care for Y/N. It doesn’t mean that watching her cry doesn’t make his heart splinter, or that hearing her quiet sobs is any less painful than taking a bullet to the shoulder.


He never makes her cry. Ever. Tries not to, but apparently fails because here she is, stifling a sob.


“You had a good life here, maybe even great, but leaving to embark on something new doesn’t mean leaving that good behind—it means taking it along with you.” His eyes bore into hers. “And that’s what you did. You took a whole lot’a good from this crappy town and brought it into our lives. You changed them. And it may sound selfish, but you leaving your old life behind was the best thing that could have happened to mine.”


Y/N manages a small, sad smile. A coarse chuckle escapes her. “Softie.”


“Hey…” he admonishes but it’s only semi-genuine before a smile breaks through; his eyes crinkle, pink lips pulled back and there it is again. That glimmer.


That spark that ignites the warmth in her chest…


She looks at Dean like she’s looking at him for the first time in years—takes in the wrinkles and creases engraved into his skin, the blots freckles across his nose, the little bit of gold that glints in the green rim of his eyes and she feels her spirit soar.


“You’re right.” Averting her gaze, her words are q bit mumbled. The elder-hunter’s eyebrows quirk.


“Am I?”


Y/N nods. Stuttering a breath, she casts her eyes to meet his.“I’m sorry I was being so difficult.”


“We both were. Some more than others, but…” She rolls her eyes at his words, punching him in the shoulder softly. He only laughs.


Dean offers a small smile. “It’s fine.”


“No, it’s not.” It’s going to take some time for the guilt to dissolve, but an apology is one step closer to that achievement. Inhaling deeply, Y/n shakes her head slowly. “And I’m sorry for saying I would have rather brought Sam with me. You’re doing a great job keeping up with my family and my crazy ass. I never should have said that.”


“It’s okay..”


“Could you stop it? it obviously isn’t. i know that. I’m sorry, Dean. I….”The sentence melts away somewhere in her throat as she feels her chest shake. Her eyes water. Glancing away, the words are barely a whisper…


“…I care about you.” Y/N admits.


Stilling, he takes a moment processing. Then, lips quirking into a subtle, knowing smile, he offers her his hand. “Truce?”


She glimpses down at it. Rough and calloused. Dean’s. An unspoken contract. She can’t help but think back to their first day, in the car. An unspoken promise between the two of them, and within a second all the hate has vanquished. All the bitterness and resentment and the arguments and the tears, and all that’s left is that glimmer in her chest.


Grabbing it firmly, she nods. “Truce.”

                                                 ~ *~*~*~*~

Part 6

:D :D :D

The angst is over! I know I said that the update was due last week, but my break just finished and I only got the time to post today. Nonetheless, I hope you liked what you saw.

That being said: likes, reblogs and follows are abundantly appreciated. ! Much love and I hope you’re doing welll!

Phoenix, who loved to catalyze and connect, found the low-affect Van Sant a challenge. “River was always doing things like saying, `I just love you,’ and lunging to hug me,” says Van Sant. “I’d freeze, maybe because my father used to grab my knee in a certain way. River didn’t like that, so he’d hug me again, and I’d freeze again, and he’d yell at me”

- Esquire, March 1994

anonymous asked:

Stelena wasn't healthy. Their problems are worse because they're not even remotely acknowledged. The show romanticizes them to such a degree that Elena tells Stefan that he was a "perfect" boyfriend who never scared her, who was never a monster, as she's standing next to the bridge that he was about to intentionally drive her off of a year before. The show props them up as "pure" when they weren't even close. They never once actually worked out their issues, or even acknowledged their problems

“ Stelena wasn’t healthy. Their problems are worse because they’re not even remotely acknowledged. The show romanticizes them to such a degree that Elena tells Stefan that he was a “perfect” boyfriend who never scared her, who was never a monster, as she’s standing next to the bridge that he was about to intentionally drive her off of a year before. The show props them up as “pure” when they weren’t even close. They never once actually worked out their issues, or even acknowledged their problems Even long after they broke up and became friends, they still white washed their history. And that’s not a promising foundation for a future relationship IMO. Say what you want about Delena, but their problems were laid out bare on the show. They both acknowledged when their relationship was unhealthy (the only couple to ever do this, mind) and ended up changing so that they could be together in a healthier way which we saw in season 6. And now they’re human and living a normal life, and lasted”            

I read this on my phone when I wok up and literally bell laughed so thank you for that anon, you made my morning. Truly. Now, shall we begin?

Stelena wasn’t healthy. Their problems are worse because they’re not even remotely acknowledge […] They never once actually worked out their issues, or even acknowledged their problems

The thing about Stelena, anon, is that when they do have an issue, it isnt simply acknowledged but it’s resolved and it’s resolved rather immediately so that they don’t have to spend so much time on one issue because they’ve already worked through it and have a better understanding of each other because of it. Every argument or setback that Elena has serves to make them a stronger couple. Case and point.

1x04:

1x05:

In 1x06 when Elena confronts Stefan about being a vampire:

He spends the entire episode answering her questions and beginning to tell her about his past:

and Elena is satisfied with Stefan’s explanation but the issue between them hasn’t resolved yet because she doesn’t know if she can handle being with him and so they don’t move past it, she tells him they can’t be together, which directly contradicts your claim:

And in 1x07 it’s clear that the feelings are still there and yet she doesn’t rush into his arms, he doesn’t push her to because the issue isn’t resolved:

But in 1x09 when Stefan helps Elena despite their circumstances and saves Bonnie:

Elena realizes she doesn’t have to fight her feelings anymore because at his core, Stefan is a good man, he has proven it to her by trying to help Vicki and by trying to get rid of Damon to protect her and Caroline and now by saving Bonnie so the issue is resolved for her because she knows she can be with him, however it isn’t resolved for Stefan so he walks away:

In 1x10 Stefan succumbs to his love for Elena because Elena makes it perfectly clear that her issues are resolved, she’s walking in with open eyes and she loves hm and she trusts him:

Essentially, the issue for SE in season 1 was trust and building that trust through vulnerability and communication, through honesty and they make good on that, they tell each other how they feel even if it’s something they don’t want to admit because they will not be kept in the dark from each other:

In season 2 their issue was external forces trying to tear them apart and them staying strong in the midst of that. In 2x06 Elena breaks up with Stefan because Katherine hurt Jenna, that is their issue:

2x06:

So Stefan partly resolves it in 2x07 by taking Katherine down:

but like I said, it’s still only partly resolved, that sense of safety hasn’t been put back together for Elena yet so they still remain apart:

And it’s when Stefan proves the lengths he’ll go to to make sure the people around him and Elena are safe:

That they reconcile:

And even during their time apart, Stefan and Elena remain open with each other, Stefan encourages Elena to just feel her emotions, to let everything out and let him in:

which she does after expressing how she thinks everything is because of her

And then in 2x15 when they are together, they disagree on the best way to handle Klaus and Elijah and they have that out

which is resolved because Elena chooses to fight and she has Stefan at her side:

I have so many posts that breakdown how they got through season 3, you can read a few of them here:

http://zalrb.tumblr.com/post/146761737865/the-3x22-delena-retcon-really-does-come-across-as

http://zalrb.tumblr.com/post/155811077060/omg-i-never-noticed-stefans-face-in-the-background

http://zalrb.tumblr.com/post/155965695700/in-3x22-elena-talks-to-matt-about-stefan-and

But this takes me to the next part of your claim.

The show romanticizes them to such a degree that Elena tells Stefan that he was a “perfect” boyfriend who never scared her, who was never a monster, as she’s standing next to the bridge that he was about to intentionally drive her off of a year before. The show props them up as “pure” when they weren’t even close

The thing is, anon, Elena is consistently unafraid of Stefan:

and she never thinks of him as a monster

to the point that she consistently opens her veins to him

despite knowing and seeing his demons

because she believes in the kind of person he is, in the good man he is, in his desire to combat the darkness to the point that he had become suicidal:

And because it’s been repeatedly proven that she connects to the humanity inside of him, that he is at peace and calm around her so she heads off his ripper tendencies

(^^ it is also clear here that Elena is concerned not afraid)

So because of all of this foundation, all of this groundwork, in season 3, Elena understood the context of Stefan’s situation which was that he was forced into an impossible situation to save his brother and that Klaus compelled him to kill innocent people which is why she can see this:

and still say this:

She saw him fight

Heard these words

Witnessed him defend her

So no, she never thought of him as a monster:

Even long after they broke up and became friends, they still white washed their history.  And that’s not a promising foundation for a future relationship IMO.

Here, you’re just repeating yourself although I find it so rich that you accuse the show of whitewashing SE’s history when all they ever do is whitewash Delena’s history, it’s like the show’s number one priority next to making Bonnie suffer.

I have an entire post on DE’s retcons, here: http://zalrb.tumblr.com/post/148984820350/can-you-give-examples-of-delena-retconned-moments

Say what you want about Delena, but their problems were laid out bare on the show. They both acknowledged when their relationship was unhealthy (the only couple to ever do this, mind) and ended up changing so that they could be together in a healthier way which we saw in season 6. And now they’re human and living a normal life, and lasted

So I really need people to stop confusing acknowledging issues with solving them because Damon and Elena never, and I mean never, resolve their issues.

From 5x10 to 5x17, it’s all about how toxic Damon and Elena are and the show thinks it scores points by the fact that Damon can acknowledge that hes a bad influence

but Damon doesn’t stop being a bad influence on Elena. She’s trying to concentrate on Jeremy in 5x17 and he’s intent on distracting her with sex

Damon literally kidnapped Jeremy and told Enzo to choke him because he as upset that Elena broke up with him

much like how three seasons before he snapped Jeremy’s neck because Elena rejected him

and Damon and Elena never even mention it. Instead Damon simply says this

but do we ever get into how Damon’s go to reaction to heartbreak is to punish Elena by killing the people close to her? Does he ever work on that? Because if I remember correctly, Elena has been saying the same shit since season 3:

And your boy STILL doesn’t change. THEY don’t change. Did that 5x16 conversation catalyze a change? Or does this happen instead:

Elena says this:

but do we ever get into how Damon can’t even recognize his own girlfriend? That he is such a narcissist high on his own insecurity that her ex-boyfriend was the one who noticed she wasn’t Katherine and not him?

In 5x17 Elena says they need to be apart because they’re bad for each other and do bad things for each other but is there any real reflection on the problems in their relationship, do either of them do anything to change or does Elena spend 5x18 dreaming about a perfect life with Stefan while Damon tries to stop it.

5x19 Elena is with Stefan again being held hostage by Enzo and Damon tries to get her out.

5x20 Stefan and Elena keep a secret about Enzo’s death while Damon tries to figure it out and they kiss because he was having a bad day.

5x21 Stefan tells her to be with Damon so she listens.

5x22 he blows himself up.

Where is the change, where is the development, where is the growth? There wasn’t any to the point that in season 6, the show had to erase Elena’s memories to start the DE love story over again, talk about whitewashing history, and even in season 6, Damon lies to Elena about the cure because he was once again too involved in his own insecurity and when Lily outs him, Damon and Elena never talk about it. Do not get it twisted, the last thing, the very last thing, Damon and Elena do is evolve from their issues. 

You tried, though.

The Pleasure Collection | 1. The Art of Seduction

Genre: Smut (kind of sub!yoongi)

Word Count: 6k

Summary: You finally see Yoongi after his six years of service in the navy and he’s so much more attractive than you remember. Now that you’re grown, you’re determined to make him yours.

A/N: For the sake of the story, some things have been excused (Yoongi probably wouldn’t have longish white hair in the navy, and in this story he’s not an officer because I wanted him to still be fairly young). Enjoy :)

Tagging: @dailydoseofdia@sydist​ @dimplecoups

Originally posted by fyeahbangtaned

Everything is ready. The food is cooked, the decorations are hung, the Min family is over, and the guests of honor are on their way from the airport.

Everything is in place, but you are undeniably nervous.

You haven’t seen your brother in what feels like forever. Jaesun and his lifelong friend Min Yoongi have spent the last few years serving in the navy. The last time you had seen either of them was nearly six years ago. You are excited to see Jaesun, but you still feel awfully anxious.

And you know there’s only one reason why.

“Oh, I think I see the car!” Your mom grasps your hand a little tighter, looking down the street.

Following her gaze, you see your father’s blue car making its way down the hill to your parents’ house. “That’s them!” You turn to the Mins. “That’s them! Right there!”

Mrs. Min smiles, tears already welling up in her eyes. “I can’t believe it,” she mutters.

It seems like another eternity before the car finally pulls in front of the house. Jaesun climbs out first, a bright smile stretching across his face in contrast to his composed nature. The moment you see him, all of your anxiety fades to the background.

Keep reading

There is a galaxy inside of me,
a thousand years it has grown.
I am it’s temple, it’s goddess, it’s only home.

Stardust lines the inside of my veins,
organic matter thriving and pulsing to
the beat of a heavenly heart.
Odes to seraphim who spit winged verses,
whose lofty white winds descend unto scorned eyes.
sand burning them holy water blind.


The earth is dry here,
it’s cracked spiderweb across deserts,
dewdrops clinging to it’s hydrophobic skin,
oozing blood between rifts of the land.


There is no love in these trenches,
only arid death, bruises,
constellations metastasizing between skin.


Bone mountains rise like empty ribcages,
from fog-laden abyss, nails like a scepter.
Gems embedded in breastbone
rusty, cracked rubies.


Cuticles destroyed,
uplifted as if by silent giants,
viscera beneath rounded opals.


Knees knocked together in silent prayer,
spine bent like an over-used bible.
Edges crackling with electricity,
zinging between neurons with the furiously of a thunderstorm.


The air is static,
the air is still and silent, waiting,
held in stale lungs,
waiting for the second to exhale like
unread psalms, for holy books never read, never wrote.


Engrained pebbles in skinned knees,
braille for the burning ones,
whose skin is firestorm.


This planet revolves in it’s own solar system,
lighting celestial fire to all within lightyears.
Inhabitable it screams,
a lowly dying death rattle.


A grip that says you will not forget.
Ivy laden arthritic joints,
eyes as milky blue as the sky yonder.
It groans, an ancient giant that will never rest easy.


It’s saltwater oceans pounding
shores of dead men.
Waves rioting to asteroids
who promised the sea as their beloved.
This is their wedding vow,
and it will be the end of them.
They crumble to ash as they hit the toxic waste atmosphere.


This galaxy girl’s breath
Is cigarette smoke burning a hole in the ozone.
Whiskey laden lungs,
gasping for air
and drowning in drink,
skin, flesh and bones.


This planet is dying,
decaying inside of me for a thousand years.
It rips through my ribcage and says
I am still here, I am a death that will drag you into the void with me,
and it catalyzes supernova.
All that is left is bone dust and star matter.

—  the tragic death of galaxy girl
Notes on: radical aloneness

Last fall, I presented a paper on relationship anarchy. For those of you who are unfamiliar with the term (or concept), it can loosely be understood as a style of interpersonal relationships that doesn’t prioritize or hierarchialize relationships with others based on what takes place within them, at least a priori. In short, there’s a uniqueness to each relationship which makes their translation between relationships difficult to gather––a kind of ineffability that gets lost or violated in the transition. So, for example, you may relate with someone in a way that tends to be more like friendship: perhaps you sometimes get together for coffee, talk about things that are going on with your life, go for walks, make dinner together sometimes, etc––but, sometimes you mess around, not too often, but sometimes. Then, you may have another relationship that is a bit more weighty––for one reason or another it’s got a trajectory that shoots out into the future, a place where you may see yourself growing vegetables and living together, sharing projects, intertwining intricately. And then, just to have more than two examples, you may have a friend that is more traditionally just a friend: you watch hockey together, talk about books you’ve been reading, get a drink, whatever. There’s a complex calculus taking place in all of these relationships, a shifting definition, murky waters, not only interrelationship but intrarelationship, as well––just because you fucked around last time doesn’t mean it’ll definitely happen this time, just because you didn’t hold one another last time doesn’t mean you won’t this time, etc. 


The point being is that, out of the gate, you can’t prioritize based on the activities that go on within the relationship––the only thing that can be said is that the relationships differ. Now, in lived experience, you may want to spend more time with the person who you see yourself growing vegetables with (this is one of the miserable aporias of existence: love seems infinite, but time isn’t…) but this isn’t because you have sex or because you don’t have sex, it isn’t because they’re “more than a friend” or whatever coarse terminology is hoisted upon it––it’s because that’s the way that relationship goes, its particular mode––you require more time with them for one reason or another: they ignite you, they unravel you beautifully, they support you unflinchingly, they catalyze splendid complexity and nuance.

After I presented this paper, I spent some time with one of my former professors, a vibrant and shimmering man with a long philosophical history, but more importantly an insatiable thirst for life, gaiety, and joy––his continuing project being resolutely existential and affirmative. As we rode the bus late at night, he said to me something to the effect of: I absolutely loved your paper, why would we ever want people to be with us who don’t want to be with us? Why would we ever want to exercise power and control over loved ones, for that negates or corrodes love, rots it constitutionally. And then, in passing, right before I got on the bus I was transferring to without him, he said something to the effect of: what you need to be able to do relationship anarchy well is an incredible amount of radical aloneness. At the time, this comment slid right off me, it didn’t stick for an instant longer than hearing it and offering a surface response without thinking, “Yeah, you’re right, I think.”

What does radical aloneness mean, anyway. To me, it’s some sort of commitment to your shit, what you’ve got going on, a wellness and health that supports engagements with others, comes to the rescue when you want to lash out and heave at others, take people down because of your own insecurities. One who has cultivated an abundant radical aloneness can let the other be because they’ve got their own projects and projections, their own vital flow. If the one they love wants to be with others for whatever reason, they can be upset and bothered, even jealous of course, but on the whole everything is okay, for they are fecundity. You only know you haven’t cultivated radical aloneness when it’s too late, when you need it, unfortunately. Radical aloneness shouldn’t be equated with the singular or the individual either––sometimes radical aloneness means that you have fostered relationships with others that support you and supplement you. Other times radical aloneness means being actually alone, but alone is of course always populated by others as well, even if you’re alone in space at a given time.

Events of late have lead to reflect upon the ways that I create, sustain, and tend to my sense of radical aloneness. I think that, in other circles, this would be taken up as self-care, but this is unfortunate, I think. Radical aloneness can encompass what is broadly construed as self-care, sure, but sometimes radical aloneness means fleeing the self, evacuating the self’s rigid postures and habits, and setting out on unforeseen trails––instead of watching over the self, dismantling the self, letting the light shine in, opening up a window, cracking things up a bit. Maybe I’m being too fine with distinctions, but I think there’s a difference. Beyond that, I think that radical aloneness is the wellspring of being with others confidently and creatively: it is from this shimmering becoming that we can glow with others, connect with others in productive and dazzling ways. Radical aloneness as generative and combinatorial, experimental and stochastic, seeking to build and proliferate. Sometimes self-care is necessary to do this: sometimes you just need someone to make you an avocado sandwich, but an avocado sandwich isn’t going to propel you into radiance, just get you into the position where you can once again have the opportunity to luxuriate.

Maybe in subsequent posts I can explore the ways in which I cultivate this radical aloneness, or perhaps the times when it would have been immensely useful to have access to. 

BTS REACTION: They find out you cheated on them with another member

Here’s the second one! For the anon who requested part two of Shaky Hands I am working on it because of how patient you have been with me. Thank you so very much, love❤️

-Admin Goddessmoony

Other boys: SEOKJINHOSEOK | NAMJOON | JUNGKOOK


Y O O N G I:

You had only asked him if he had eaten and, not for the first time, he snaps at you.

“Y/N, what the fuck? I’m not a child, I can take care of myself. For fucks sake! When did you get so clingy? You think that reminding me to eat and sleep is going to relieve my stress? No! You’re just causing me more stress with your constant nagging! You know what? I don’t even know why I’m with you anymore.”

Without any words being said on your part, you run out of your shared apartment crying. Ever since you and Yoongi started dating you haven’t been paying much attention to your old friends, and you have never regretted it so much as you do now. The only place you can think of going is the dorm. Yoongi probably expects you to go back to apartment, like you always do, but his words have never been as cruel before. You won’t go back until you are sure he isn’t there, which if you remember his schedule correctly, will be soon.

Taehyung is the only one in the dorm, as the others are busy. It’s the early morning but he’s awake despite having a free day. When he hears a soft knock on the door he has no hesitation in opening it, you’re the only who knocks. You throw yourself into his arms, crying into his shoulder while trying your best to tell him about what just happend. You are thankful that it was him who opened the door, he’s the one you are closest to from the group.

He is usually not one to get angry. But upon hearing what Yoongi said to you, and that it isn’t the first time he’s called you a nuisance, he feels an ugly fire in his chest. How can his hyung ever say something like that? You are not clingy in the slightest and are actually very understanding of their heavy schedules. You ask all of them if they have eaten or if they have slept on a daily basis because you want them to be healthy. You don’t want them to get more stressed by being sick. You shoulder the hate you get from jealous fans and the lack of privacy due to the media. You are incredibly strong, caring, and kind. Why would anybody want to destroy you?

Without you realizing, Taehyung leads you to his bedroom and sits you on the bed before he locks the door to ensure your privacy. The rest of the boys shouldn’t be home anytime soon, but just to be safe. You are trying your best to stop your tears but they keep flowing. Yoongi’s words playing over and over, echoing in your hollow chest.

Taehyung sees the hurt in the way you are choking on your own tears. He never thought he would see you in such a state, you always have a smile to spare, and he never wants to see you like this again. He hugs you, as tightly as he can. Hoping that his embrace will keep you together. He whispers into your hair, just loud enough for you to hear. “Y/N, you don’t deserve to be treated that way…You have never and will never be a nuisance to me because you are the most important person in my life. I know that this isn’t the right time, but I love you.”

And you can’t deny that your heart often fluttered when you would spend time with Taehyung. However, you and Yoongi have been having trouble for so long and Taehyung is very much the opposite of Yoongi, so you had just chalked it up to you being lonely. Now, you are conflicted. Are you feelings for Taehyung real? They just might be. The possibility fills you with resentment and guilt. Maybe you haven’t done anything physical with Taehyung, but emotional cheating is just as bad.

You don’t reply to him, instead you return his hug. He kisses you on the forehead and you two fall asleep in each other’s arms. But when he wakes up later you’re gone.

Yoongi comes home to a half empty apartment. Your keys are on the table. He didn’t think that such a simple sight could cause such heartbreak. You don’t answer his calls, you don’t listen to his desperate voicemails, or read his angry texts. It’s been a few weeks and he gets the message that you two are done. Yoongi doesn’t understand why he said such cruel words to you, and even though he now sees how badly he treated you he knows it’s best that you don’t hear him out. That you keep ignoring his continuous attempts to contact you because a better man would have regretted their words immediately and he has only just started. You deserve so much better than him.

Even with this understanding, he is still devastated and seeing Taehyung smile shyly at his phone because of a text he received gets him annoyed. It’s immature of him, but he really doesn’t want to see somebody happily in love when he’s in misery. One day, he gets so annoyed he grabs Taehyung’s phone and is about to throw it across the room until he notices that it’s a text from you.

Y/N: It’s hard to accept that someone who you love had suddenly become someone who verbally abuses you…Three months of reflection really opens your eyes a lot…You told me you loved me that night, and I’ve realized that I’ve been developing feelings for you long before that. I feel guilty about it since I was with Yoongi then and I’m not ready to be in a relationship yet. But I really hope that one day we will be able to exchange those words happily to each other.

Knowing that Yoongi is aware of his ambiguous relationship with you, Taehyung stares at him with unwavering eyes. He knows that his feelings for you are not particularly a good thing, and that they can cause a huge problem within the group, but what Yoongi did to you is worse than what he has done. He is confident it will all be justified in the end.

Yoongi is just numb. He’s never realized it until now, but that’s exactly what he did to you isn’t it? He’d break you down with words just because he felt stressed and you showed care. He drove you into the arms of another man because he couldn’t control his anger. What kind of a monster had he become?

Yoongi looks at his teammate, with glossy eyes and an expression that can only be described as self-hate. “You’re a much better man than me. I don’t need to tell you to treat her right because I know you will. Let’s not bring this up with the others yet, okay? I need to…figure some stuff out.”

And maybe this is just another way to push the problem aside for now, but they can both agree that they don’t want to cause you more pain. Everyone just needs time, telling the other boys about it will catalyze everything they aren’t ready to process yet. It will be difficult though, to hide the tension between them meanwhile.

Originally posted by sugaglos


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Ana tips and tricks

Pro Ana Weight Loss Tips and Tricks
1. Drink one glass of water every hour. It will make you feel full.
2. Drink ice cold water. Your body will burn calories just getting the water to a normal temperature to digest. Also it is great for your complexion.
3. Drink 3 cups of green tea daily. It will help boost your metabolism, plus its anti-oxidants make your skin look great.
4. Take vitamins daily. Do not take vitamins on an empty stomache, otherwise they have nothing to catalyze with.
5. Eat ice or gum when hungry. This will make your body think it had food without the calories.
6. Do aerobics until you want to faint.
7. Eat spicy foods. They raise your metabolism.
8. Take cold showers because your body will burn calories to heat you back up.
9. DON’T take laxatives. They don’t help you to lose weight.
10. DON’T use diruretics. They only dehydrate you.
11. Brush your teeth constantly so you won’t be tempted to eat afterwards.
12. Weat a rubberband around your wrist. Snap it when you want to eat.
13. Clean something gross (toilet, litter box, boyfriend’s closet) when you want to eat. You will not want to eat after cleaning a litter box.
14. Keep your hair in good condition so no one will suspect anything.
15. Get a job so you’ll have to work through meal times.
16. Exercise twice the amount of calories eaten.
17. Use smaller plates and utensils so it seems like you ate more.
18. Chew eat bite of food thoroughly and then take a sip of water between bites. You will feel full quicker and will not eat as much.
19. Say you are going to eat at a friend’s house and instead go for a walk. You will be burning calories instead of taking them in.
20. Buy clothes that you can’t fit into and hang them wear you can see them. This will motivate you to lose weight to fit into them.
21. Sleep at least six hours a day. If you get less than six this can lower your metabolism by 15%.
22. If you start to feel hungry do situps or punch yourself in the stomach. You will not feel hungry anymore.
23. Pamper yourself! Give yourself a facial, paint your nails, anything to make you feel pretty.
24. Make yourself a snack, but instead of eating it throw it away. Leave the dirty dishes whereyour parents can find them. They will think you ate.
25. Prepare a list of excuses as to why you can’t eat - You’re sick, you’re a vegetarian, allergic, etc. You’d be amazed at how many good excuses there are.
26. Get out of your house! If you’re not sitting around then people can’t start shit with you about not eating.
27. Join a pro-ana group or start your own website. Anything that will keep you motivated.
28. Make an ANA scrapbook with pics of skinny models. Right down all the reasons you want to lose weight. Keep track of everything you eat. Look at it daily for thinsperation.
29. Keep good posture, burns 10% more calories when you sit up straight.
30. Instead of food, buy something else, a new shirt, flowers, jewelrey etc.
31. Make a list of all the “bad” foods that you crave and tend to binge on. Each day, pick one to take out of your diet that you absolutely, no matter what, cannot eat again. Take one off the list each day until there are no more bad foods you can have.
32. Avoid alcohol! A shot of liquor has 100-120 calories, a glass of wine has 80 calories, a lite beer has 110-120 calories, and a regular beer has 140-170 calories.
33. Never eat anything bigger than about a cup, your stomach will expand and then you’ll get hungry more.
34. Eat in front of a mirror naked. See how much you can eat then!
35. The smell of coffee is suppose to supress appetite.
36. Wear perfectly applied lip gloss. It makes you more aware of what’s going in your mouth. Also, flavored ones help with cravings.
37. Have 6 small meals a day. Take 2 apples, and split them so you can make 6 meals out of them. That way your body will be tricked into thinking it’s eating more.
38. Low calorie hot chocolate curbs chocolate cravings, and makes you feel full.
39. Take anti-heartburn pills if you’re really hungry. They nuetralize the acid that builds and makes you hungry.
40. Take a picture of yourself wearing a bathing suit or something equally revealing, look at it when you want to eat.
41. It takes 20 minutes for the brain to realize the stomach is full.
42. When you get hunger pains curl into a ball, it makes them go away.
43. If you’re a smoker and hungry, light up a cigarette. It curbs your appetite.
44. Eat lots of fiber. It makes you feel full and takes fat with it out of your body. The natural cleansing helps improve both your energy level and overall feeling of wellness.
45. Before you dig into that cake, bag of chips, candy, or whatever, take a deep breath and count to 100. Usually by the time you get to 100 you will have convinced yourself that you don’t really want it.
46. When you’re hungry chug 2 glasses (or how many you need) of straight water. It’ll make you so full and nauseous you will have completely lost your appetite.
47. Celery actually burns calories. Every hour eat a stalk of it. Not only will it fill you up, but it will also get your metabolism kickin’.
48. Weigh yourslef before and after every time you eat. Not only will it eliminate unnecessary eating, but it will make you want to eat less when you see the numbers creep up.
49. Read the nutritional information. Remember, fat-free does not mean calorie-free. Also keep an eye on fiber content. Get as much fiber into your diet as you can, while cutting fat and calories.
50. Don’t eat a lot at once. Spread your food throughout the day. This will help to avoid binging and keep your metabolism going.
51. If you like to drink alcohol, you’ll like this. Make a rule: You can only drink every time you lose 2lbs. So, if you lose 4lbs a week, you can drink Friday and Saturday night. However, if you only lose 2lbs a week, you only get to drink one night.
52. Do not eat in front of the computer or TV. This distracts you from recognizing you’re full.
53. Save the money you would have spent on that meal in a jar. Save it in a bottle instead and watch it grow.
54. Stay away from Slim-fast and other so-called “healthy” candy bars and shakes… one look at the nutition facts will tell you why. With all the carbs and excess calories you may as well go eat a freakin pie or something. Not to mention the rediculous prices… save yourself the money, and the calories.
55. Instead of buying food, buy yourself flowers. Food is depressing, but flowers make you happy.
56. When having cravings drink a couple glasses of water with slices of lemons and count to 100 and it should go away.
57. Eating 100 cals 4 times a day is better than eating a 400 cal meal.
58. An occasional binge doesn’t hurt, in fact it’s quite beneficial if you have reached a plateau (stopped losing weight). Your body will think you have stopped starving yourself, and you will drop at least a pound overnight! Just don’t binge too regularly!
59. Someone told me that if you take a pure cold bath for 15-30 min and lower your body temp, your body burns around 200 cals for every degree it has to raise itself to reach a normal body temperture. This person tried it, a 30 min bath lowered their temp about 3-4 degrees