catalyzes

important headcanon

Victor Nikiforov is forgetful as all get out. He doesn’t remember his own birthday half the time, and when people ask him how old he is, he has to count backwards using his fingers. 

But he knows the names of all the dogs he encounters in Hasetsu.

“Aki!” he says to the storeowner’s dog, as he bikes past on his way to the Ice Castle. Aki is a terrier mutt, small and a determined barker. “Good morning, Aki!” Which store owner? Damned if he knows. He’s been introduced a few times. Aki’s person. Victor is fairly certain he has two eyes and a face?

“Hi, Masa,” he says at lunch. Masa is the dog that lives somewhat near the castle. Masa is a shiba inu, and really likes tuna onigiri. He can detect the sound of a bento being opened from half a mile away; it never takes him more than a minute to materialize in the middle of Victor’s lunch. He sits two feet from Makkachin, giving Victor soulful sad eyes as he goes through the bento that Yuuri’s mother has made for him. Victor is no idiot–Makkachin has taught him well that a dog that knows how to make “I’m a poor neglected dog that never gets fed” eyes is almost certainly a dog who has a devoted human who is a sucker for sad dog eyes. But Victor is also a sucker for sad dog eyes.

Hiroko Katsuki has started adding extra onigiri, just for Masa. (“No salt,” she explained to him. She’s a good egg.)

Yori plays with Makkachin in the afternoons when Yuuri is cross-training. Yori is a brown dog with three white paws, not to be confused with Toshi, who is a slightly browner dog with two white paws and one yellow paw. Toshi lives closer to the onsen, anyway.

“Which dog is that?” Yuuri asks, as they’re walking home. Victor sees a flash out of the corner of his eye before the dog disappears. It’s enough. “Kouta. You can tell by the freckles on the paws. Riku has the same coloring but no freckles.”

“Who does Kouta belong to?” Yuuri asks.

Someone, Victor is sure. He’s been introduced a time or five. Some human…with two eyes, probably a face? He’s not really sure. 

“Kouta’s owner,” Victor finally says.

He doesn’t know why Yuuri is cracking up. Why would he waste precious brain space on human names when there are so many dogs to remember?

(catalyzed by this post)

It might at first seem attractive to say things like “Marxism can’t explain everything and although it is useful in its particular domain it’s not enough to explain the experiences of xyz, etc.”—but there’s a few things that people forget or don’t realize when they say that.

First, people mistake Marxism for a specific set of conclusions. When we realize that certain issues like racial or national oppression cannot be strictly analyzed through the lens of some pre-existing categories within the Marxist “canon,” we may be tempted to say that Marxism has reached its limit here. I must insist in contrast that, while i certainly feel many of the conclusions typically associated with Marxism are correct, all of these conclusions could actually be wrong and Marxism would still be “true” in the sense that it is most fundamentally a revolutionary way of approaching problems and enacting social change

Second, what is particularly insidious about the idea that Marxism “doesn’t apply” to this or that is the broader implication—which is quite consistent with postmodern theory in general—that different “domains” of life require us to use different approaches, different methodologies, different systems, etc. Wittgenstein, for example, was one of the people who most rigorously argued this, and he held that different domains of life were playing different “language games” which each had their own logic. One conclusion that follows from this is that no domain of social life is really poised to evaluate the validity of the others or appeal to universal truths. This can seem like a compelling line of reasoning, especially since it aligns with the dominant ideology of late capitalism. But it begins to fall apart when one realizes that, to even be able to distinguish where different domains of social life lie and what separates them requires a “global” logic by which you make the distinctions. Proponents of the notion that there can only be “local” theoretical and political systems tailored to the specific conditions of different “domains” do not at all escape appealing to universals; they simply leave the universal principles upon which they base their conclusion completely unsaid, which i feel is extremely dangerous. At least with the liberal humanists, although they simply assert universality from on-high and base their notion on the most vague of abstractions, you know what their assumptions are.

So the question is, what do you hold to be universal? Because without universality, the notion of specificity literally has no meaning.

What do i think? Well, i think Marxism as a theoretical and political practice does have boundaries, but it is able to evaluate where its own boundaries lie utilizing certain principles which are universal. To be precise materialist dialectics contain statements about the very nature of existence which are of necessity global. The fact that materialist dialectics are the product of a concrete practice—namely, taking the standpoint of proletariat in the realm of theory—does not jeopardize their universal “reach.” In fact, i would say that the proletariat, a force which occurs at the point where the various contradictions of society fuse, is particularly poised to access the universal.

Further, the boundaries of Marxism as assessed under the framework of materialist dialectics are larger than many people assume. Remember that Marx does not simply presuppose social class and then analyze society through that lens. Marxism is ultimately interested in the social formation as a whole and in particular in the transformation of that social whole. Marx arrives at the concept of social class as a result (not as the point of departure!) of the study of the social formation in its entirety (which is also why he really only began to concretely articulate the concept of class near the end of his life). So, Marxism is immediately relevant whenever we are talking about the revolutionary transformation of social life. And i am convinced that it remains the best tool for catalyzing revolutionary change there is. After all, it is not a coincidence that the most successful revolutionary movements around the globe have either been explicitly communist or have at least tried to appropriate certain elements of Marxism to suit their purposes.

Long story short, Marxism as a whole “package” may have limits, but they are broader than most people assume, and within Marxism there are universal principles, without which it is impossible to even distinguish what is specific. 

Pro Ana Weight Loss Tips and Tricks

1. Drink one glass of water every hour. It will make you feel full.
2. Drink ice cold water. Your body will burn calories just getting the water to a normal temperature to digest. Also it is great for your complexion.
3. Drink 3 cups of green tea daily. It will help boost your metabolism, plus its anti-oxidants make your skin look great.
4. Take vitamins daily. Do not take vitamins on an empty stomache, otherwise they have nothing to catalyze with.
5. Eat ice or gum when hungry. This will make your body think it had food without the calories.
6. Do aerobics until you want to faint.
7. Eat spicy foods. They raise your metabolism.
8. Take cold showers because your body will burn calories to heat you back up.
9. DON’T take laxatives. They don’t help you to lose weight.
10. DON’T use diruretics. They only dehydrate you.
11. Brush your teeth constantly so you won’t be tempted to eat afterwards.
12. Weat a rubberband around your wrist. Snap it when you want to eat.
13. Clean something gross (toilet, litter box, boyfriend’s closet) when you want to eat. You will not want to eat after cleaning a litter box.
14. Keep your hair in good condition so no one will suspect anything.
15. Get a job so you’ll have to work through meal times.
16. Exercise twice the amount of calories eaten.
17. Use smaller plates and utensils so it seems like you ate more.
18. Chew eat bite of food thoroughly and then take a sip of water between bites. You will feel full quicker and will not eat as much.
19. Say you are going to eat at a friend’s house and instead go for a walk. You will be burning calories instead of taking them in.
20. Buy clothes that you can’t fit into and hang them wear you can see them. This will motivate you to lose weight to fit into them.
21. Sleep at least six hours a day. If you get less than six this can lower your metabolism by 15%.
22. If you start to feel hungry do situps or punch yourself in the stomach. You will not feel hungry anymore.
23. Pamper yourself! Give yourself a facial, paint your nails, anything to make you feel pretty.
24. Make yourself a snack, but instead of eating it throw it away. Leave the dirty dishes whereyour parents can find them. They will think you ate.
25. Prepare a list of excuses as to why you can’t eat - You’re sick, you’re a vegetarian, allergic, etc. You’d be amazed at how many good excuses there are.
26. Get out of your house! If you’re not sitting around then people can’t start shit with you about not eating.
27. Join a pro-ana group or start your own website. Anything that will keep you motivated.
28. Make an ANA scrapbook with pics of skinny models. Right down all the reasons you want to lose weight. Keep track of everything you eat. Look at it daily for thinsperation.
29. Keep good posture, burns 10% more calories when you sit up straight.
30. Instead of food, buy something else, a new shirt, flowers, jewelrey etc.
31. Make a list of all the “bad” foods that you crave and tend to binge on. Each day, pick one to take out of your diet that you absolutely, no matter what, cannot eat again. Take one off the list each day until there are no more bad foods you can have.
32. Avoid alcohol! A shot of liquor has 100-120 calories, a glass of wine has 80 calories, a lite beer has 110-120 calories, and a regular beer has 140-170 calories.
33. Never eat anything bigger than about a cup, your stomach will expand and then you’ll get hungry more.
34. Eat in front of a mirror naked. See how much you can eat then!
35. The smell of coffee is suppose to supress appetite.
36. Wear perfectly applied lip gloss. It makes you more aware of what’s going in your mouth. Also, flavored ones help with cravings.
37. Have 6 small meals a day. Take 2 apples, and split them so you can make 6 meals out of them. That way your body will be tricked into thinking it’s eating more.
38. Low calorie hot chocolate curbs chocolate cravings, and makes you feel full.
39. Take anti-heartburn pills if you’re really hungry. They nuetralize the acid that builds and makes you hungry.
40. Take a picture of yourself wearing a bathing suit or something equally revealing, look at it when you want to eat.
41. It takes 20 minutes for the brain to realize the stomach is full.
42. When you get hunger pains curl into a ball, it makes them go away.
43. If you’re a smoker and hungry, light up a cigarette. It curbs your appetite.
44. Eat lots of fiber. It makes you feel full and takes fat with it out of your body. The natural cleansing helps improve both your energy level and overall feeling of wellness.
45. Before you dig into that cake, bag of chips, candy, or whatever, take a deep breath and count to 100. Usually by the time you get to 100 you will have convinced yourself that you don’t really want it.
46. When you’re hungry chug 2 glasses (or how many you need) of straight water. It’ll make you so full and nauseous you will have completely lost your appetite.
47. Celery actually burns calories. Every hour eat a stalk of it. Not only will it fill you up, but it will also get your metabolism kickin’.
48. Weigh yourslef before and after every time you eat. Not only will it eliminate unnecessary eating, but it will make you want to eat less when you see the numbers creep up.
49. Read the nutritional information. Remember, fat-free does not mean calorie-free. Also keep an eye on fiber content. Get as much fiber into your diet as you can, while cutting fat and calories.
50. Don’t eat a lot at once. Spread your food throughout the day. This will help to avoid binging and keep your metabolism going.
51. If you like to drink alcohol, you’ll like this. Make a rule: You can only drink every time you lose 2lbs. So, if you lose 4lbs a week, you can drink Friday and Saturday night. However, if you only lose 2lbs a week, you only get to drink one night.
52. Do not eat in front of the computer or TV. This distracts you from recognizing you’re full.
53. Save the money you would have spent on that meal in a jar. Save it in a bottle instead and watch it grow.
54. Stay away from Slim-fast and other so-called “healthy” candy bars and shakes… one look at the nutition facts will tell you why. With all the carbs and excess calories you may as well go eat a freakin pie or something. Not to mention the rediculous prices… save yourself the money, and the calories.
55. Instead of buying food, buy yourself flowers. Food is depressing, but flowers make you happy.
56. When having cravings drink a couple glasses of water with slices of lemons and count to 100 and it should go away.
57. Eating 100 cals 4 times a day is better than eating a 400 cal meal.
58. An occasional binge doesn’t hurt, in fact it’s quite beneficial if you have reached a plateau (stopped losing weight). Your body will think you have stopped starving yourself, and you will drop at least a pound overnight! Just don’t binge too regularly!
59. Someone told me that if you take a pure cold bath for 15-30 min and lower your body temp, your body burns around 200 cals for every degree it has to raise itself to reach a normal body temperture. This person tried it, a 30 min bath lowered their temp about 3-4 degrees

Ana

Thinspo Tips
Tips and AdviceThis is a featured page
1. Drink one glass of water every hour. It will make you feel full.
2. Drink ice cold water. Your body will burn calories just getting the water to a normal temperature to digest. Also it is great for your complexion.
3. Drink 3 cups of green tea daily. It will help boost your metabolism, plus its anti-oxidants make your skin look great.
4. Take vitamins daily. Do not take vitamins on an empty stomache, otherwise they have nothing to catalyze with.
5. Eat ice or gum when hungry. This will make your body think it had food without the calories.
6. Do aerobics until you want to faint.
7. Eat spicy foods. They raise your metabolism.
8. Take cold showers because your body will burn calories to heat you back up.
9. DON’T take laxatives. They don’t help you to lose weight.
10. DON’T use diruretics. They only dehydrate you.
11. Brush your teeth constantly so you won’t be tempted to eat afterwards.
12. Weat a rubberband around your wrist. Snap it when you want to eat.
13. Clean something gross (toilet, litter box, boyfriend’s closet) when you want to eat. You will not want to eat after cleaning a litter box.
14. Keep your hair in good condition so no one will suspect anything.
15. Get a job so you’ll have to work through meal times.
16. Exercise twice the amount of calories eaten. 17. Use smaller plates and utensils so it seems like you ate more.
18. Chew eat bite of food thoroughly and then take a sip of water between bites. You will feel full quicker and will not eat as much.
19. Say you are going to eat at a friend’s house and instead go for a walk. You will be burning calories instead of taking them in.
20. Buy clothes that you can’t fit into and hang them wear you can see them. This will motivate you to lose weight to fit into them.
21. Sleep at least six hours a day. If you get less than six this can lower your metabolism by 15%.
22. If you start to feel hungry do situps or punch yourself in the stomach. You will not feel hungry anymore.
23. Pamper yourself! Give yourself a facial, paint your nails, anything to make you feel pretty.
24. Make yourself a snack, but instead of eating it throw it away. Leave the dirty dishes where your parents can find them. They will think you ate.
25. Prepare a list of excuses as to why you can’t eat - You’re sick, you’re a vegetarian, allergic, etc. You’d be amazed at how many good excuses there are.
26. Get out of your house! If you’re not sitting around then people can’t start shit with you about not eating.
27. Join a pro-ana group or start your own website. Anything that will keep you motivated.
28. Make an ANA scrapbook with pics of skinny models. Right down all the reasons you want to lose weight. Keep track of everything you eat. Look at it daily for thinsperation.
29. Keep good posture, burns 10% more calories when you sit up straight.
30. Instead of food, buy something else, a new shirt, flowers, jewelrey etc.
31. Make a list of all the “bad” foods that you crave and tend to binge on. Each day, pick one to take out of your diet that you absolutely, no matter what, cannot eat again. Take one off the list each day until there are no more bad foods you can have.
32. Avoid alcohol! A shot of liquor has 100-120 calories, a glass of wine has 80 calories, a lite beer has 110-120 calories, and a regular beer has 140-170 calories.
33. Never eat anything bigger than about a cup, your stomach will expand and then you’ll get hungry more.
34. Eat in front of a mirror naked. See how much you can eat then!
35. The smell of coffee is suppose to supress appetite.
36. Wear perfectly applied lip gloss. It makes you more aware of what’s going in your mouth. Also, flavored ones help with cravings.
37. Have 6 small meals a day. Take 2 apples, and split them so you can make 6 meals out of them. That way your body will be tricked into thinking it’s eating more.
38. Low calorie hot chocolate curbs chocolate cravings, and makes you feel full.
39. Take anti-heartburn pills if you’re really hungry. They nuetralize the acid that builds and makes you hungry.
40. Take a picture of yourself wearing a bathing suit or something equally revealing, look at it when you want to eat.
41. It takes 20 minutes for the brain to realize the stomach is full.
42. When you get hunger pains curl into a ball, it makes them go away.
43. If you’re a smoker and hungry, light up a cigarette. It curbs your appetite.
44. Eat lots of fiber. It makes you feel full and takes fat with it out of your body. The natural cleansing helps improve both your energy level and overall feeling of wellness.
45. Before you dig into that cake, bag of chips, candy, or whatever, take a deep breath and count to 100. Usually by the time you get to 100 you will have convinced yourself that you don’t really want it.
46. When you’re hungry chug 2 glasses (or how many you need) of straight water. It’ll make you so full and nauseous you will have completely lost your appetite.
47. Celery actually burns calories. Every hour eat a stalk of it. Not only will it fill you up, but it will also get your metabolism kickin’.
48. Weigh yourslef before and after every time you eat. Not only will it eliminate unnecessary eating, but it will make you want to eat less when you see the numbers creep up.
49. Read the nutritional information. Remember, fat-free does not mean calorie-free. Also keep an eye on fiber content. Get as much fiber into your diet as you can, while cutting fat and calories.
50. Don’t eat a lot at once. Spread your food throughout the day. This will help to avoid binging and keep your metabolism going.
51. If you like to drink alcohol, you’ll like this. Make a rule: You can only drink every time you lose 2lbs. So, if you lose 4lbs a week, you can drink Friday and Saturday night. However, if you only lose 2lbs a week, you only get to drink one night.
52. Do not eat in front of the computer or TV. This distracts you from recognizing you’re full. 53. Save the money you would have spent on that meal in a jar. Save it in a bottle instead and watch it grow.
54. Stay away from Slim-fast and other so-called “healthy” candy bars and shakes… one look at the nutition facts will tell you why. With all the carbs and excess calories you may as well go eat a freakin pie or something. Not to mention the rediculous prices… save yourself the money, and the calories.
55. Instead of buying food, buy yourself flowers. Food is depressing, but flowers make you happy.
56. When having cravings drink a couple glasses of water with slices of lemons and count to 100 and it should go away.
57. Eating 100 cals 4 times a day is better than eating a 400 cal meal.
58. An occasional binge doesn’t hurt, in fact it’s quite beneficial if you have reached a plateau (stopped losing weight). Your body will think you have stopped starving yourself, and you will drop at least a pound overnight! Just don’t binge too regularly!
59. Someone told me that if you take a pure cold bath for 15-30 min and lower your body temp, your body burns around 200 cals for every degree it has to raise itself to reach a normal body temperture. This person tried it, a 30 min bath lowered their temp about 3-4 degrees

The Pleasure Collection | 1. The Art of Seduction

Genre: Smut (kind of sub!yoongi)

Word Count: 6k

Summary: You finally see Yoongi after his six years of service in the navy and he’s so much more attractive than you remember. Now that you’re grown, you’re determined to make him yours.

A/N: For the sake of the story, some things have been excused (Yoongi probably wouldn’t have longish white hair in the navy, and in this story he’s not an officer because I wanted him to still be fairly young). Enjoy :)

Tagging: @dailydoseofdia@sydist​ @dimplecoups

Originally posted by fyeahbangtaned

Everything is ready. The food is cooked, the decorations are hung, the Min family is over, and the guests of honor are on their way from the airport.

Everything is in place, but you are undeniably nervous.

You haven’t seen your brother in what feels like forever. Jaesun and his lifelong friend Min Yoongi have spent the last few years serving in the navy. The last time you had seen either of them was nearly six years ago. You are excited to see Jaesun, but you still feel awfully anxious.

And you know there’s only one reason why.

“Oh, I think I see the car!” Your mom grasps your hand a little tighter, looking down the street.

Following her gaze, you see your father’s blue car making its way down the hill to your parents’ house. “That’s them!” You turn to the Mins. “That’s them! Right there!”

Mrs. Min smiles, tears already welling up in her eyes. “I can’t believe it,” she mutters.

It seems like another eternity before the car finally pulls in front of the house. Jaesun climbs out first, a bright smile stretching across his face in contrast to his composed nature. The moment you see him, all of your anxiety fades to the background.

Keep reading

Notes on: radical aloneness

Last fall, I presented a paper on relationship anarchy. For those of you who are unfamiliar with the term (or concept), it can loosely be understood as a style of interpersonal relationships that doesn’t prioritize or hierarchialize relationships with others based on what takes place within them, at least a priori. In short, there’s a uniqueness to each relationship which makes their translation between relationships difficult to gather––a kind of ineffability that gets lost or violated in the transition. So, for example, you may relate with someone in a way that tends to be more like friendship: perhaps you sometimes get together for coffee, talk about things that are going on with your life, go for walks, make dinner together sometimes, etc––but, sometimes you mess around, not too often, but sometimes. Then, you may have another relationship that is a bit more weighty––for one reason or another it’s got a trajectory that shoots out into the future, a place where you may see yourself growing vegetables and living together, sharing projects, intertwining intricately. And then, just to have more than two examples, you may have a friend that is more traditionally just a friend: you watch hockey together, talk about books you’ve been reading, get a drink, whatever. There’s a complex calculus taking place in all of these relationships, a shifting definition, murky waters, not only interrelationship but intrarelationship, as well––just because you fucked around last time doesn’t mean it’ll definitely happen this time, just because you didn’t hold one another last time doesn’t mean you won’t this time, etc. 


The point being is that, out of the gate, you can’t prioritize based on the activities that go on within the relationship––the only thing that can be said is that the relationships differ. Now, in lived experience, you may want to spend more time with the person who you see yourself growing vegetables with (this is one of the miserable aporias of existence: love seems infinite, but time isn’t…) but this isn’t because you have sex or because you don’t have sex, it isn’t because they’re “more than a friend” or whatever coarse terminology is hoisted upon it––it’s because that’s the way that relationship goes, its particular mode––you require more time with them for one reason or another: they ignite you, they unravel you beautifully, they support you unflinchingly, they catalyze splendid complexity and nuance.

After I presented this paper, I spent some time with one of my former professors, a vibrant and shimmering man with a long philosophical history, but more importantly an insatiable thirst for life, gaiety, and joy––his continuing project being resolutely existential and affirmative. As we rode the bus late at night, he said to me something to the effect of: I absolutely loved your paper, why would we ever want people to be with us who don’t want to be with us? Why would we ever want to exercise power and control over loved ones, for that negates or corrodes love, rots it constitutionally. And then, in passing, right before I got on the bus I was transferring to without him, he said something to the effect of: what you need to be able to do relationship anarchy well is an incredible amount of radical aloneness. At the time, this comment slid right off me, it didn’t stick for an instant longer than hearing it and offering a surface response without thinking, “Yeah, you’re right, I think.”

What does radical aloneness mean, anyway. To me, it’s some sort of commitment to your shit, what you’ve got going on, a wellness and health that supports engagements with others, comes to the rescue when you want to lash out and heave at others, take people down because of your own insecurities. One who has cultivated an abundant radical aloneness can let the other be because they’ve got their own projects and projections, their own vital flow. If the one they love wants to be with others for whatever reason, they can be upset and bothered, even jealous of course, but on the whole everything is okay, for they are fecundity. You only know you haven’t cultivated radical aloneness when it’s too late, when you need it, unfortunately. Radical aloneness shouldn’t be equated with the singular or the individual either––sometimes radical aloneness means that you have fostered relationships with others that support you and supplement you. Other times radical aloneness means being actually alone, but alone is of course always populated by others as well, even if you’re alone in space at a given time.

Events of late have lead to reflect upon the ways that I create, sustain, and tend to my sense of radical aloneness. I think that, in other circles, this would be taken up as self-care, but this is unfortunate, I think. Radical aloneness can encompass what is broadly construed as self-care, sure, but sometimes radical aloneness means fleeing the self, evacuating the self’s rigid postures and habits, and setting out on unforeseen trails––instead of watching over the self, dismantling the self, letting the light shine in, opening up a window, cracking things up a bit. Maybe I’m being too fine with distinctions, but I think there’s a difference. Beyond that, I think that radical aloneness is the wellspring of being with others confidently and creatively: it is from this shimmering becoming that we can glow with others, connect with others in productive and dazzling ways. Radical aloneness as generative and combinatorial, experimental and stochastic, seeking to build and proliferate. Sometimes self-care is necessary to do this: sometimes you just need someone to make you an avocado sandwich, but an avocado sandwich isn’t going to propel you into radiance, just get you into the position where you can once again have the opportunity to luxuriate.

Maybe in subsequent posts I can explore the ways in which I cultivate this radical aloneness, or perhaps the times when it would have been immensely useful to have access to. 

4

Preparation of a 2-bromobenzoic acid derivative from an anthranilic acid derivative using the Sandmeyer reaction.

The Sandmeyer reaction is a chemical reaction used to synthesize aryl halides from aryl diazonium salts. It is named after the Swiss chemist Traugott Sandmeyer. The reaction is a method for substitution of an aromatic amino group via preparation of its diazonium salt followed by its displacement with a nucleophile, often catalyzed by copper(I) salts.

ArN2+ + CuBr → ArBr + N2 + Cu+

On the picture and gifs the solution of copper(I)-bromide is being added to the chilled, freshly prepared diazonium salt solution and as the the two reactants mix, almost instantly nitrogen gas forms and the reaction starts. 

Interesting thing is that the copper(I)-bromide is a colorless, nearly insoluble solid when pure, however when mixed with hydrobromic acid it dissolved rapidly and gives a deep purple colored solution as seen on the pictures.

I Think I Wanna Marry You...(Part V)

Pairing: Dean x Reader

Summary: Time is running out as Y/N and Dean try and maneuver their way around this new conflict whilst keeping their cover…Easy, right?

Warnings: Swearing, mild angst; Castiel is clueless

Word count: 5k (yikes)

Part 1, 

Part 2 Part 3 ,Part 4

A/N:  Way overdue, but here it is! surprise surprise: our favorite angel finally makes an appearance.

PS. Big shoutout to all my Boston-born pals. No hate, this is all purely for fictional purposes and I’m sure you guys and your town rule!

Tagging:
@captainaudreystark
@mayainneverland

@hannahhyese
@nakedshowerdean

@haileyboo1210
@fallengrimes

Apologies if I forgot to tag you, let me know in my inbox and I’ll be sure to in the next part.                      

                                         ~*~*~*~


Dean’s footsteps are thunderous thuds as he stalks down the hallway, fists bawled and jaw clenched. He makes a turn for the right, heads to the elevator that takes him to the ground floor and makes his way out onto the terrace where the party is going.


His eyes scan the perimeter in search of Sam; he’d left him in the company of Emma and Y/N’s cousin Brendon, talking about politics and nerd-things (Dean’s conclusion: yawn). Turning to the right, he spots Marilyn and Y/N’s father. The noise around him swarms his mind, clouding it, only catalyzing the agitation stewing in him. Dean scowls and then heads to an empty table by a dropping willow tree.


His footsteps crunch against the grass as he moves to take seat, and finally resting his head in his hands. He lets his eyes shut. Exhales. Sighs.

Y/N.


How did he get here? All he can is being sent up to get her, taking her things along with him, and then in the blink of an eyes, here he is. A labored breath leaves Dean and he sits up, leaning back in his seat. Instead, he decides, he might as well allows himself to observe the crowd for now. To recollect. Lamenting on this entire situation is out of the question—if he gives it too much attention, things could get wild in his head. Could swell larger than they need to be, and so he allows his gaze to skim the crowd, when he catches the eye of a familiar face glaring at him.


And then the elder Winchester’s jaw tenses.


Rick.


Rick standing in the centre of the crowd, mingling with the guests; Rick, despite the conversation he’s engulfed in, staring him down like a hawk.


Rick coming towards him.


Mind hazy, Dean has to do a double take, squinting to make sure he’s right. And apparently he is—the dark-haired man is sauntering across the garden, a beer in hand, sporting a composed smile.


Dean waits anxiously before he approaches, halting a few feet from the table. He raises his bottle. “Pleasant evening, isn’t it? It’s a surprise to see someone spending it alone.”


“Maybe that’s what makes it so ‘pleasant’” He sneers the word as though it’s venomous, like the mere syllables cause his tongue to burn. “…because I’m alone.”


“Not gonna lie: that’s sad.”


Dean shrugs. He doesn’t know why, but apparently Rick stupidly takes this as an acquiesce for him to join him, because he then drags a seat out from the table and sits himself down opposite the elder Winchester.


Rick’s smile softens. “Dean, right?”


“Winchester.”


“Yeah, Y/N’s boyfriend.” Rick nods in understanding as he offers his hand. “We met—rick.”


“I know.”


An awkward silence befalls as Rick’s expression falters, and he shyly tucks his hand back at his side, clearing his throat. “Right.” He mumbles. “So—how are you liking everything in Boston? Y/N told me you’ve never really been well acquainted with these parts. She said you’ve only been here—once, twice?”


Dean nods. He’s not really in the mood for company; and doesn’t want them to, but for odd reason the words end up leaving him anyway.  “Twice. Business trip that lasted three days and then we were outta here.”


“Never thought of coming back.” Rick asks with a quirked brow, and the elder Winchester shakes his head. “What about Y/N? No interest in seeing where she came from?”


“Why do you care?”


“I…don’t. I’m…just..making conversation.”


“Well then maybe you should stop.”


Rick’s brows shoot up in surprise.


Dean is steady and as stoic as a soldier, his expression giving away no sign of emotion. Green eyes are dead set on the hazel ones across the table, and in the air thick with a newfound tension dangles another silence


After a moment, Rick clears his throat. “So, uhm, Dean,” He continues, trying to sidestep the awkwardness. “Y/N said that you two are partners. You work together in the squad?”


“Yup.” This is getting beyond mind-numbingly boring; Dean really doesn’t like this guy. Like, really doesn’t like him. And he knows it’s untheical, and he knows he’s being petty (likes that’s new), but he doesn’t care enough to do anything about it because just because he’s somebody else for these two weeks doesn’t mean he needs to abandon his actual traits.


”That would explain how we’re partners.” He rolls his eyes, averting his gaze to the far left when all fo a sudden he notices a movement.


Then the elder Winchester’s senses heighten; drowning all peripheral sounds out, he focuses on the shift, the patter of feet, a shadow cast upon the damp ground. A large male figure. Getting closer. Closer.


“Right, I forgot.” Rick laughs casually, throwing back some beer. Wiping the corner of his mouth with his cuff, he then returns his focus to Dean who tries to look less like a hunter. “So you’re a cadet, too?”


“Uhm….” His eyes skitter. Th strange ris getting closer, his walk rigid. “Yeah…Cadet. I’ve been on the force for almost four years now.”


“That’s a lot.”


“Mhm.”


“Dean.”


When he turns his head, much to his relief, it’s Sam. The younger Winchester walks up to the table, looks down at Dean, his long brown hair swooping around his face like a curtain.


“You alright?”


Befuddled momentarily, Dean nods.“Yeah…”


Sam eyes him dubiously, then looks at Rick. He smiles at the younger Winchester. Turning back to his brother, Sam announces, “Cas is here.”


“What?”


“He just arrived. He’s, uhm, waiting in the lobby. Says he wants to talk to you there.”


“Oh..right….” Cluelessly, the elder Winchester then casts Rick a cursory look. He inhales and stands. “Gotta go, buddy. Talk later.”


“Oh, uh—“And then they leave.


The dark-haired man, befuddled, says something, watching as the pair begin to move, but Dean is already so out of earshot that he doesn’t bother. He follows Sam through the crowd and out of the garden, into the garish lighting of the lobby.


Sat at one of the black leather couches, Cas looks around the room a few times, shifty-eyed, until his gaze rests on the elder Winchester and his panic dissolves. He pushes himself up, eyes focused on Dean.


“There you are.”


“Cas, where have you been? I left you like six voicemails.”


“I’ve been busy. Heaven’s duties, tracking Crowley, i…”The angel exhales, averting his gaze. “I’m sorry. I would have gotten here sooner.” He explains, then turns to Sam. “Where’s Y/N?”


“What are you wearing?” Dean’s eyes slide over his friend’s attire: brown khakis, a salmon button up with an orange spotted tie, and sandals. Morbid. Unethical. If Dean had a blow-torch with him, he’d set it on max and go to town.


Horrified eyes lift to Cas’ apologetic face. “Sam told me to dress casual.” He explains.


“Yeah, casual, not train wreck.”


“That’s not very nice.”


“I could say the same about that tie—or the whole ensemble.” With a slight repulsed face, Dean dismisses it with a shake of the head and wave of a hand. They’re on a tight schedule.


“Come on, I think I have something you can wear. People are starting to stare.” He then ushers Cas along with him up to their bedroom, until the realization strikes him like a bolt of lightning. The elder Winchester, cursing internally, then turns to Sam.


“You have to go in there.”


“What?”


“I can’t. Y/N and I, we…” He sighs and averts his gaze, desperate to sequester his embarrassment from the public eye. “We got into a fight. She wanted to me to leave, I can’t go back in there.”


“A fight about what?”


“Does it matter?” Dean snaps, and Sam’s eyes lift in surprise at his tone. “She doesn’t want me in the room. You’re going to have to get Cas’ clothes. We’ll be downstairs.”


“I could go get them.”Castiel offers.


The elder hunter shakes his head. The music from downstairs is floating all the way up here, drowning his focus. “Not looking like that. Y/N’s sad as it is, that whole outfit will just bring her down.”


“What did you do?” Sam asks.


“Dean…”


The two speak simultaneously, Cas’ tone admonishing and Sam sounding like he’s tired of this story before he’s even heard it and Dean doesn’t have time for this. Instead of staying here to explain himself, with an indignant huff he pivots and stalks back down the hall, before suddenly bumping into someone.


He feels the smack right in his chest and winces at the contact, stepping aside as something clatters to the floor. The other person curses, and before he can even open his eyes Dean knows who it is.


“What are you doing here?”


“What does it look like?”


Y/N bends to pick up the sheets of paper on the floor. Meanwhile, Sam and Cas hurry over, they’re expressions unreadable once his gaze meet with hers.


Clutching the papers to her chest, Y/N’s face breaks out into a surprised, slightly confused smile.


“Cas…You made it!”


The angel can’t help it; his expression cracks, too, as he goes in for a brief hug. “Of course I did.” He says. The moment is cut short by Dean scoffing.


“Yeah, wait a few days and she’ll get tired fo you.” He remarks.


“You have a bone to pick, Winchester?”


Dean shrugs and looks away, pouting like a child. “Maybe…”


“Okay, okay, that’s enough.” Sam intervenes, because Y/N looks like she’s about to knock a man’s teeth out. He looks to her and his brother, arm still keeping her a safe distance from the elder Winchester. “Man, you two are acting like kids.”


“How else do you want me to act, Sam?! Y/N’s being ridiculous about this whole thing..”


“Excuse you…”


“Oh, so I’m supposed to sleep out in the hall now just because I said something that hurt your feelings?”


Y/N bites her lip to keep from spitting venom, her arms like tentacles wrapped tightly around the papers as she glares bitterly. Dean, with his eyes wild and jaw clenched once more, challenges her gaze, but it only takes a minute before he realizes something: she’s changed out of her old clothes, now sporting one of her dresses from back home reserved for the dinners.


The elder Winchester’s expression softens as his eyes slide over her frame. They rest on her face pink with anger. “You changed.”


“No shit.” Y/N spits, brow still creased, steam still puffing from her ears. Her nails at this point are digging into the papers. “I was just downstairs. I thought about what you said and realized that if I didn’t show, then they’d suspect something was up. I couldn’t risk blowing our cover.”


“Why didn’t you tell me?”


“You think I didn’t try to? It’s not my fault you were off somewhere being an ass.”


“Hey, stop it.” Sam chastises as he shoots Y/N a glare. She glances at him and then the floor, abashed.


“Well,” Cas begins, speaking up for the first time in eons. “…none of that matters now. At least Y/N managed to keep your cover. For tonight.” He glances between the two of them, emphasizing his words. “But from now on you two can’t go around acting like you’re anything less than partners. It could put this entire mission at risk.”


“Mission…”Dean scoffs. “…this is all just a big joke. I have no idea why even agreed.”


“Neither do I, jackass. I should have asked Sam.” Y/N, tears brimming in her eyes, shakes her head then shoves the papers into Sam’s chest.


“Here’s the new agenda. There’s been a change of plans. The binder says it all.” She says, before squeezing through the wall of the three men and rushing to her room, Dean’s eyes following her.


When she slams the door, the walls tremble.


                                                         ~*~*~*~

The next day is a disaster. Between runs for cake samples, trips to the florists and fittings, Y/N is forced into the presence of Dean and company—Sam and Cas, trying their best to keep the two from fighting in front of the family. On the brightside, so far so good. They’ve barely uttered any profanities to the other. They’ve barely spoken overall. A few words here and there, the occasional peck on the cheek (barf) for the sake of reputation, but other than that they haven’t spoken.


Mainly because Y/N doesn’t want to. Because after the previous night, she wants nothing more than to avoid Dean at all costs, and it’s been hard. Impossible, almost. Without the other in sight, one of them is always hounded by the family, which makes staying mad at her sweetheart more tedious than needed.


It’s Thursday morning when they’re out on the two running some more errands. Being forced to hold hands with him as they stroll down the boulevard makes her skin seethe like a vampire in the sun. She’s angry—how can she not be?


“Easy there, anaconda. Your holding my hand not your prey.”


“Bite me.” She sneers as she slips her hand from his, jiggling it to dissolve the feeling of his calloused hands.


At one point she would have done the opposite; she’d relish the feeling of Dean’s palm against hers, crave it. There were instances where the only reasons they’d be holding hands was because Y/N wanted them to, and now all of that had vanished as fast as it came.


They pass an open bakery, an Indian restaurant perfumed by the scent of curry and then make a left. Because of the wedding being moved closer, all the planning has been catalyzed. This means that there’s a ton of activities Y/N and her folks had planned to carry out within the following days that they have to get accomplished by Saturday, and so to make things move a lot faster, they’ve been separated into groups. Bridal party A: Y/N, Castiel and the Winchesters and Bridal B which includes her mom, S/P/N, Emma and Aunt Steph. Brendon and the guys, she’s been told, are handling things back at the hotel. Seating arrangements, catering.


Their assignment? Getting the ring.


The store is a quaint white structure sandwiched between an antique parlor and restaurant, bouquets of a vast variety lining the entire wall, a colorful welcome as they scuttle in. Y/N keeps her hands in her pockets, walking a safe distance away from Dean. He probably thinks she hasn’t noticed, but he’s not very discreet when he keeps sneaking glances her way.


But she ignores him.


Cas and Dean move to the front desk to speak to the employee smiling welcomingly at them while Y/N remains with Sam by the exit.


He looks over to her. With her arms crossed over her chest, she’s looking at some earrings in the display case.


“So you’re not gonna forgive him, huh?” He prompts. She shrugs. A ring with a diamond the size of a nugget glints in the daylight and she rounds the display to take a closer look.


“Nope.” Is her simple reply.


“Come on, Y/N…” Sam almost pleads. “You know that this is all gonna blow over. It always does. The two of you can never actually stay mad at each other.”


“Watch me then. He’s gonna stew this time.”


“But not forever, right?”


She looks up and he’s at her side. There’s a small, polite and almost knowing smile on his face. One she’s seen before. One she hates to see because of the truth it holds, the gospel behind it. Y/N sighs then looks away…and that’s good enough of an answer for Sam. His simper then grows into a teasing smirk and he leaves to go see what Cas and his brother are up to.


Watching him go, the young girl bites her lip, her mind gripped by the reality the younger Winchester just showed her. He’s right. It’s inevitable—she’s going to forgive Dean. No matter how much she denies it, she always does, so what’s the point of just postponing it all?


Getting it done now would be much easier, she reasons as she moves to the earrings display. So what if Dean’s ego is pampered by her surrender? So what if she has to be the one to cave—it’s not like anyone is keeping score? They’re not. They’re not petty like that…


But still.


Y/n feels reluctance tug at the strings of her heart.  When they’re done the trio walks up to her and tells her it’s time to leave. Apparently there’s been a bit of a delay.


“The ring will be ready by Saturday.” Castiel offers. “We pick it up first thing in the morning.”


“Looking at some rocks, huh, Y/N? Don’t get your hopes up.” Dean says as he takes a look. His eyes survive the vast variety, skittering from jewel to jewel. “I’m not making buying you stuff from every store we go to a habit. The scarf was just for show.”


“I didn’t—“ Y/N begins, defenses on already, but quickly stops herself.


Eyes narrowed, she clamps her lips shut and stares. He fingers a diamond pendant on the shelf. With a shake of her head, she tries to ignore his remarks, and sidesteps him, moving as fast as she can to get out of the door.


As if the day wasn’t odd enough, it’s Sam who drives them back to the hotel.


Y/N, with her back terse and nails digging into the leather seats, now knows why Dean never lets his little brother.


Because, boy, is he rocky. She doesn’t know if it’s like this all the time, but the car feels like a cruising deathtrap. They race down the road at an unholy speed. Much to her surprise, Dean says nothing. He’s quiet. Dead silent, entranced instead by the scenery zipping by in a flash.


“Damn, Sammy, cool it.”


“Oh, sorry, Y/N.”


“Don’t like it fast, huh?” Dean speaks for the first time since they got in.


Turning her attention to him, she shoots him a glare. He doesn’t notice it, though. Too busy staring out the window. Engulfed by his own thoughts. Apparently not enough to miss the chance to poke fun at her.


“Relax, Y/N…” the elder hunter continues, finally turning around to look her in the eye. Expression bored, his lips quirk up in a dead smirk. “…he’s just trying to get you there quickly. You don’t like that either?”


“Dean…”


“Hm…Maybe it’s a good thing you didn’t pick Sam to be your squeeze for the wedding. Otherwise things in the bedroom would be real awkward, am’irite?”


“Dean!” Sam admonishes.


Y/N fights the blush flooding her face. With a glad grin, the elder Winchester glances at his brother then back at her. The satisfaction is written out in the way his lips twitch, the smugness of his expression that she chooses to ignore because if she doesn’t, then things might get ugly…


“Can you stop acting like a child?”


“Why don’t you make me?”


“Is this some type of flirtation?” Cas’ voice cuts through the noise, dripping with cluelessness and earnest curiosity. Dean laughs. So does Sam. Y/N, she only rolls her eyes and turns to the window.


“I just don’t see why we’re in a rush. I mean, we still have like—“ she glances back at the car-clock, “—two and a half hours till they need us back at the hotel. Almost three.”


“So…what? You guys wanna go do something?”


“What’s there to do, Sam? It’s Boston.”


“We could go to the museum…? I hear their exhibitions are immensely meticulous and well done. It shouldn’t take us less than—“


“No one really wants to go to the museum, Cas, but we appreciate the participation.” Clapping him on the shoulder, Dean shakes his head. His eyes shoot to her. “Y/N: where to, since you are the local?”


“What?”


“Well, you did leave here your entire childhood.” Sam reasons, shooting her a glance in the rearview mirror. “You’ve gotta know some place that’s…I don’t know—fun?”


“Fun? In Boston?” She scoffs. “Please.”


“What about a movie?”


“For three hours?”


“Oh, right…uhm….” They all think in silence, and Y/N lets them.


The truth is this: she does know a fun place. She knows a ton. It’s freaking Boston. She knows the woods just out of town she’d sneak off to with her friends after school and she knows some of the best burger joints you can find. She’s got eyes all over this damn town, in all the cracks and crannies that you can find, but getting her to confess is nothing but a far-fetched plan, she thinks—until the boredom starts to weigh in on her too.


Biting her lips, she reluctantly begins. “I think i have an idea…”


The chatter then quiets as all eyes flit to her constricted face telling just how badly she doesn’t want to say it. Y/N gulps. It’s only one option on the (long) list of many…


                                                  ~*~*~*~

The sky is clear by the time they get there.


A vast stretch of blue across the town, a few tufts of white clouds here and there. It’s not going to rain, apparently. Not with the air clear and warm and dancing against the apples of Y/N’s cheeks.


She stops walking for a moment, staring at the cluster before her. Trees upon trees. Thick, evergreen, covering a radius of roughly ten miles, and before it the playground where they stand. Sand. A slide with chipped blue paint and abandoned swings. Usually this place is full but taken the fact that it’s a Thursday leaves it marooned, the only presences being those of adults and teenage couples roaming around in the park.


Whipping to face them, Y/N flashes the boys a tight smile. “This is it.”


“A park?” Dean’s voice, although surprised, holds no offensive tone. He squints at the light as he takes a look around, eyes resting on the little gates of the entrance. “This is what you call fun?”


“Extremely. Look,” She walks over and taps the slide’s chipped paint. “…it even has a playground just for kiddies like you.”

“I’ll join you on the slide, Dean.” Cas supplements with a smile and Y/N chuckles.


The gates let out an aged squeak as they push through. The boulevard is a wide stretch of cobble with parks on the sides with people playing instruments, a guy in rollerblades doing tricks. She remembers coming here all the time, being one of these personalities strumming her ukulele for some extra doe


“Check it out.” Smiling, Sam points to a girl doing a full back-bend and a man laying eggs on her extended torso. They all smile and make their way over. Apparently, she’s an acrobat putting her skills to sue for the same reason Y/N did, and so they leave her with a couple of dollars and a coupon to Denny’s before moving on.


They move from person to person to food-kart when Dean’s stomach starts to rumble.


“I feel like chili-dogs.”


“When do you not feel like chili dogs, Winchester?” Y/N smiles as she hands the vender the money. “You always feel like chili dogs.”


“Is there any other genuine feeling?”


“Apparently not.” She mumbles. A few feet away Sam and Cas are buying cotton candy, when the younger Winchester turns around.


He jerks a thumb back, raising his voice. “Do you guys want some?”


“No, we’re good.” Y/N shouts back, and he gives them a thumbs up before turning back to the guy holding two fluffy blue blobs. They’re handed two large sandwiches, then wander further down the path until they’re in the opening near the pond. There are trees everywhere and a few people dotted across the grass, the pond glistening in the sunlight, and Dean’s about to sit when Y/N stops him.


“Not here.” She says.


The elder Winchester, already halfway into his seat, furrows his brow. “What?”


She only waves for him to follow and continues.


He does.


It takes them roughly eight minutes to get to an isolated spot further into the park and Y/N is smiling proudly. A large oak sprouts from the ground and they settle down beneath it.


“Ugh, if S/P/N could see me now she’d scold me sore.” She says, un-tucking the napkins around her sandwich as they sit. “This is a total no-no for someone trying to stay fit for a wedding.”


“It’s not like you’re the bride, anyway. What’s that saying, again? Always the bridesmaid never the bride?”


“Really, Dean?”


He shrugs then takes big bite out of his sandwich Some marinara dribbles down his mouth and onto his chin. These ends of the park, for all the years she’s known them, are never fully. They never have anyone but Y/N and whatever company she strings along with her, and because of this the quiet that settles between them is deafening, encompassing.


She stares out at the pond glimmering like mercury, the ducks waddling over it in tiny clusters. A fond smile creeps onto her face. She remembers. Everything. She remembers hot summers spent dipping her legs in the water and cut-off shorts that bleached from the sun. She remembers ice-cream trickling down her wrist; laughs with friends and furtive I love you’s hidden somewhere in the intimacy of this place. She remembers, because she can’t win the fight not to.


“I used to come here a ton when I was a kid.”  She says, breaking the silence.

Dean turns to her. His expression is simple, mouth still dressed with marinara sauce and brow furrowed with a newfound interest.. “Really?”


She nods “S/P/N used to bring me.. When we were like ten, she’d tell my mum we were going to the library and we’d come here instead, sneak off to this little sequestered zone to…” She shrugs. “…skip stones, listen to music. I used to feel like the coolest kid on the block just ‘cause I was hanging out with teenagers. But…when I got older we sorta stopped. She went off to college, so I inherited the safe zone. Used to sneak off here after school with my friends.


“You had friends? Wow…” Eyes wide and lips quirked subtly, his tone is evidently teasing. Y/N laughs softly. Genuinely. There’s still a hint of earnest that tells her he’s a bit surprised, but she understands; despite having lived with the boys for so long, there’s not much they know about her life before hunting.


“Yup.” She answers. “A whole pack. They were nice, too—really nice, and we had a lot of fun before I left. Here, there, all over city, the state even. But, after that, things kinda…fizzled out.” A hint of melancholy seeps into her tone as she averts her gaze to the ground, quieting for a moment. She can feel Dean’s eyes on her, prying, interested in hearing what it is she has to say. The tension between evaporates. They’re no longer foes on this park bench, not with the newfound intimacy that seems to envelope them.


It’s hard re-opening this wound right in front of someone, in front of Dean. He knows her— for all the years they’ve been partners, for all the wholeness of her herself she has given him he knows her, but telling all this comes harder than she thought it would. There’s a knot in her chest refusing to untangle, that doesn’t want her to spill all this now, but it’s about time… Sighing, she swallows and turns to him. She blinks, expression saddened.


“You know why I hate this place so much? Massachusetts, Boston?” She asks.


Dean shakes his head.


“Because I had a life here. A good life. And I left a lot behind when I left to hunt.”


“Y/N…”


She can feel the tears stinging her eyes and tries to blink them away. They won’t budge. Instead they spill over, trickling down the curve of her cheek. She doesn’t want to remember having it all, because it means recalling leaving it behind. And it hurts—God, does it hurt.


Biting her lip, she sniffles and another tear trickles down her cheek. “I hate this stupid town,…” She says Carefully. Quietly. Her voice is hoarse and is at the precipice of cracking.


“Come on, Y/N…”


“I can’t wait to leave.”


And that’s all it takes.


And she’s in his arms, head rested on his chest, face pink and wet and fingers knotted together because she can’t breathe. Her chest stutters, falling as fast as it rises. Dean, smoothing his hand over her arm, tells her to breathe, to relax.


“I can’t, Dean…” Tears trickle down her cheeks as she shakes her head. “God, I can’t wait for this wedding to be over. To get out of this place.”


“Y/N, listen to me.” He coos, somehow managing to pacify her, because she actually does. Sniffling, she tips her head back and their eyes meet. Green on y/e/c. His eyes swim with a sadness, an anguish she can’t bring herself to understand.


Gulping thickly, the elder Winchester gathers his thoughts. His courage. Watching this is more painful than imagined; just because they fought, it doesn’t mean Dean doesn’t still care for Y/N. It doesn’t mean that watching her cry doesn’t make his heart splinter, or that hearing her quiet sobs is any less painful than taking a bullet to the shoulder.


He never makes her cry. Ever. Tries not to, but apparently fails because here she is, stifling a sob.


“You had a good life here, maybe even great, but leaving to embark on something new doesn’t mean leaving that good behind—it means taking it along with you.” His eyes bore into hers. “And that’s what you did. You took a whole lot’a good from this crappy town and brought it into our lives. You changed them. And it may sound selfish, but you leaving your old life behind was the best thing that could have happened to mine.”


Y/N manages a small, sad smile. A coarse chuckle escapes her. “Softie.”


“Hey…” he admonishes but it’s only semi-genuine before a smile breaks through; his eyes crinkle, pink lips pulled back and there it is again. That glimmer.


That spark that ignites the warmth in her chest…


She looks at Dean like she’s looking at him for the first time in years—takes in the wrinkles and creases engraved into his skin, the blots freckles across his nose, the little bit of gold that glints in the green rim of his eyes and she feels her spirit soar.


“You’re right.” Averting her gaze, her words are q bit mumbled. The elder-hunter’s eyebrows quirk.


“Am I?”


Y/N nods. Stuttering a breath, she casts her eyes to meet his.“I’m sorry I was being so difficult.”


“We both were. Some more than others, but…” She rolls her eyes at his words, punching him in the shoulder softly. He only laughs.


Dean offers a small smile. “It’s fine.”


“No, it’s not.” It’s going to take some time for the guilt to dissolve, but an apology is one step closer to that achievement. Inhaling deeply, Y/n shakes her head slowly. “And I’m sorry for saying I would have rather brought Sam with me. You’re doing a great job keeping up with my family and my crazy ass. I never should have said that.”


“It’s okay..”


“Could you stop it? it obviously isn’t. i know that. I’m sorry, Dean. I….”The sentence melts away somewhere in her throat as she feels her chest shake. Her eyes water. Glancing away, the words are barely a whisper…


“…I care about you.” Y/N admits.


Stilling, he takes a moment processing. Then, lips quirking into a subtle, knowing smile, he offers her his hand. “Truce?”


She glimpses down at it. Rough and calloused. Dean’s. An unspoken contract. She can’t help but think back to their first day, in the car. An unspoken promise between the two of them, and within a second all the hate has vanquished. All the bitterness and resentment and the arguments and the tears, and all that’s left is that glimmer in her chest.


Grabbing it firmly, she nods. “Truce.”

                                                 ~ *~*~*~*~

:D :D :D

The angst is over! I know I said that the update was due last week, but my break just finished and I only got the time to post today. Nonetheless, I hope you liked what you saw.

That being said: likes, reblogs and follows are abundantly appreciated. Relatively sure the next part will either be the last, or the semi-last, but I’ve ALSO got a little something I wrote out a while back for this story as a deleted scene of sorts ;)

Stay tuned, y’all! Much love and I hope you’re doing welll!

Eldritch Mythos 202: Eldritch Energy Work

This particular post within the eldritch series I’ve put off for a long, long while, partially because I’ve been in the process of learning some finer nuances to this topic. This is a messy one, and what I’m writing below I’m tacking on with a warning; please do not approach any sort of eldritch energy work unless you are very well-practiced in cleansing and energy-surgical methods, a confident ability to identify energy parasitism and a 100% understanding that what you’re dicking with, no matter how much you think it likes you? Probably wants to take advantage of you in every way it can.

I’ve encountered a consistent issue in which people are unwilling to acknowledge the problematic natures of the entities they work with. Small, vocal groups may shit on people that have negative experiences, feeding these gross, stagnant mindsets between one another. To be unwilling to discuss and respect these negative experiences within the tags implies to me an insecure practitioner with less respect for physical human beings than the very potentially fake metaphysical entities we’re dealing with. (And if you can’t handle the possibility of all this being fake, what are you even doing?) So by making this post, never, EVER do I EVER want to come across as one of those people, and this isn’t for edge factor, this is about arming both those that WANT to work with this paradigm AND those that have been victimized by it. There are a bunch of people on all sides. Please, if anyone has ever encountered any personal problems, consistent parasitism or hounding I am more than willing to talk in private with you about these issues, as eldritch energy is one of the nastiest, most terrible things you can have sicked on you. I won’t fix it for you, but I’ll tell you everything I have that could help you. I am not going to claim responsibility for any harm that comes your way if you dive half-assed into this though. This post is for those of you out there who haven’t wanted to talk, who’ve been confused and unsure as to what the hell they’re even interacting with.

Now that I’ve slapped my full warning up on here, let’s talk about eldritch energy work. Because hoboy.

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8

“আমার ভাইয়ের রক্তে রাঙানো একুশে ফেব্রুয়ারি
আমি কি ভুলিতে পারি
ছেলেহারা শত মায়ের অশ্রু গড়ায়ে ফেব্রুয়ারি
আমি কি ভুলিতে পারি”

“My Brothers Blood Spattered 21 February
Can I forget the twenty-first of February
incarnadined by the love of my brother?
The twenty-first of February, built by the tears
of a hundred mothers robbed of their sons,
Can I ever forget it?”

A Brief History of Ekushey February, February 21st:

If you don’t know already: The British colonized the Indian subcontinent for centuries and… I am angry… but fast forward to 1947’s partition, which led to 2 nations: India, and Pakistan, which consisted of East Pakistan–Now proudly Bangladesh–and West Pakistan–which is the present Pakistan. Historically, East Pakistan was underrepresented in government and military, and underfunded during the Pakistani rule despite the fact that out of 69 million Pakistanis at the time, 44 million were Bengali-speaking and residing in East Pakistan (Bangladesh).

Even though 54% of the national population spoke Bengali (Bangla) as their mother tongue, in 1948 the Pakistani government enforced an ‘Urdu Only’ law, saying that the sole official language of East (Bangladesh) and West Pakistan would be Urdu—which had been promoted as the common language of Muslims during the British Rule. This felt like an attack against the Bengali identity, one that not only aimed to establish supremacy of one people over the other but was also unrepresentative of the national population. Although sectorial violence and tensions existed before, East Pakistan began protesting for our right to speak our mother tongue, to establish our Bengali identity, to institute equal respect for Bangla. Bengali scholars, student leaders and politicians led, supported and fought alongside in the movement that began.

ON 20TH FEBRUARY, 1952, the government enforced section 144: banning all public protests and marches in Dhaka. They began imprisoning University of Dhaka’s student leaders.

ON THE 21ST OF FEBRUARY, students marched protesting ‘Rashtro bhasha Bangla chai’ or ‘We want Bangla as the official language’ and the Pakistani police opened fire, killing 4 and injuring 17. Hearing the news of the shooting, thousands of people gathered in front of Dhaka Medical College, where the injured were admitted, a state of civil unrest began. Every year from then on, Bangladeshis began to commemorate this day of mourning and organized demonstrations and protests. The next few years consisted of political unrest, imprisonment of Bengali politicians, and public demonstrations.

THE FIRST SHAHEED MINAR was built on February 22nd, 1952 in memory of the martyrs and was destroyed by the Pakistani army on February 26th. In 1957, a second minar was built in tandems and completed in 1963, but that too was violently demolished by the Pakistani army in 1971. The current Shaheed Minar was built in 1972 and stands to this day.

IN 1956, the Pakistani government ruled Bengali as an official language alongside Urdu. In 1999, the UN declared 21st February International Mother Language day. As Bangladeshi people, to this day we march for the lives lost since those days in 1952, to the 1971 genocide, until our independence. Early in the morning of every February 21st, we walk to the Shaheed Minar (pictured above) with fresh flowers in our hands and black badges on our chests. Ekushey February marked a significant day not only because of our fight for our mother tongue, but because it strengthened and became a part of the Bangladeshi identity and catalyzed events that led to the 1971 liberation war.

I am proud of my history, I am proud of my people for fighting for our language and identity under an oppressive rule. I mourn the deaths of martyrs Abdus Salam, Rafiq Uddin Ahmed, Abul Barkat, Abdul Jabbar, and many more. 21st February 1952 was the beginning to a tale of blood, atrocities, and liberation. I am proud to be Bangladeshi. It’s time to acknowledge Bangladesh’s liberation and the 1971 genocide. 

[I hope at least some of you read this and learned a little bit more about my country and of course feel free to add to this. Images are off google and I used my old Bangla textbooks and Wikipedia for specific dates.]

Ana tips and tricks

Pro Ana Weight Loss Tips and Tricks
1. Drink one glass of water every hour. It will make you feel full.
2. Drink ice cold water. Your body will burn calories just getting the water to a normal temperature to digest. Also it is great for your complexion.
3. Drink 3 cups of green tea daily. It will help boost your metabolism, plus its anti-oxidants make your skin look great.
4. Take vitamins daily. Do not take vitamins on an empty stomache, otherwise they have nothing to catalyze with.
5. Eat ice or gum when hungry. This will make your body think it had food without the calories.
6. Do aerobics until you want to faint.
7. Eat spicy foods. They raise your metabolism.
8. Take cold showers because your body will burn calories to heat you back up.
9. DON’T take laxatives. They don’t help you to lose weight.
10. DON’T use diruretics. They only dehydrate you.
11. Brush your teeth constantly so you won’t be tempted to eat afterwards.
12. Weat a rubberband around your wrist. Snap it when you want to eat.
13. Clean something gross (toilet, litter box, boyfriend’s closet) when you want to eat. You will not want to eat after cleaning a litter box.
14. Keep your hair in good condition so no one will suspect anything.
15. Get a job so you’ll have to work through meal times.
16. Exercise twice the amount of calories eaten.
17. Use smaller plates and utensils so it seems like you ate more.
18. Chew eat bite of food thoroughly and then take a sip of water between bites. You will feel full quicker and will not eat as much.
19. Say you are going to eat at a friend’s house and instead go for a walk. You will be burning calories instead of taking them in.
20. Buy clothes that you can’t fit into and hang them wear you can see them. This will motivate you to lose weight to fit into them.
21. Sleep at least six hours a day. If you get less than six this can lower your metabolism by 15%.
22. If you start to feel hungry do situps or punch yourself in the stomach. You will not feel hungry anymore.
23. Pamper yourself! Give yourself a facial, paint your nails, anything to make you feel pretty.
24. Make yourself a snack, but instead of eating it throw it away. Leave the dirty dishes whereyour parents can find them. They will think you ate.
25. Prepare a list of excuses as to why you can’t eat - You’re sick, you’re a vegetarian, allergic, etc. You’d be amazed at how many good excuses there are.
26. Get out of your house! If you’re not sitting around then people can’t start shit with you about not eating.
27. Join a pro-ana group or start your own website. Anything that will keep you motivated.
28. Make an ANA scrapbook with pics of skinny models. Right down all the reasons you want to lose weight. Keep track of everything you eat. Look at it daily for thinsperation.
29. Keep good posture, burns 10% more calories when you sit up straight.
30. Instead of food, buy something else, a new shirt, flowers, jewelrey etc.
31. Make a list of all the “bad” foods that you crave and tend to binge on. Each day, pick one to take out of your diet that you absolutely, no matter what, cannot eat again. Take one off the list each day until there are no more bad foods you can have.
32. Avoid alcohol! A shot of liquor has 100-120 calories, a glass of wine has 80 calories, a lite beer has 110-120 calories, and a regular beer has 140-170 calories.
33. Never eat anything bigger than about a cup, your stomach will expand and then you’ll get hungry more.
34. Eat in front of a mirror naked. See how much you can eat then!
35. The smell of coffee is suppose to supress appetite.
36. Wear perfectly applied lip gloss. It makes you more aware of what’s going in your mouth. Also, flavored ones help with cravings.
37. Have 6 small meals a day. Take 2 apples, and split them so you can make 6 meals out of them. That way your body will be tricked into thinking it’s eating more.
38. Low calorie hot chocolate curbs chocolate cravings, and makes you feel full.
39. Take anti-heartburn pills if you’re really hungry. They nuetralize the acid that builds and makes you hungry.
40. Take a picture of yourself wearing a bathing suit or something equally revealing, look at it when you want to eat.
41. It takes 20 minutes for the brain to realize the stomach is full.
42. When you get hunger pains curl into a ball, it makes them go away.
43. If you’re a smoker and hungry, light up a cigarette. It curbs your appetite.
44. Eat lots of fiber. It makes you feel full and takes fat with it out of your body. The natural cleansing helps improve both your energy level and overall feeling of wellness.
45. Before you dig into that cake, bag of chips, candy, or whatever, take a deep breath and count to 100. Usually by the time you get to 100 you will have convinced yourself that you don’t really want it.
46. When you’re hungry chug 2 glasses (or how many you need) of straight water. It’ll make you so full and nauseous you will have completely lost your appetite.
47. Celery actually burns calories. Every hour eat a stalk of it. Not only will it fill you up, but it will also get your metabolism kickin’.
48. Weigh yourslef before and after every time you eat. Not only will it eliminate unnecessary eating, but it will make you want to eat less when you see the numbers creep up.
49. Read the nutritional information. Remember, fat-free does not mean calorie-free. Also keep an eye on fiber content. Get as much fiber into your diet as you can, while cutting fat and calories.
50. Don’t eat a lot at once. Spread your food throughout the day. This will help to avoid binging and keep your metabolism going.
51. If you like to drink alcohol, you’ll like this. Make a rule: You can only drink every time you lose 2lbs. So, if you lose 4lbs a week, you can drink Friday and Saturday night. However, if you only lose 2lbs a week, you only get to drink one night.
52. Do not eat in front of the computer or TV. This distracts you from recognizing you’re full.
53. Save the money you would have spent on that meal in a jar. Save it in a bottle instead and watch it grow.
54. Stay away from Slim-fast and other so-called “healthy” candy bars and shakes… one look at the nutition facts will tell you why. With all the carbs and excess calories you may as well go eat a freakin pie or something. Not to mention the rediculous prices… save yourself the money, and the calories.
55. Instead of buying food, buy yourself flowers. Food is depressing, but flowers make you happy.
56. When having cravings drink a couple glasses of water with slices of lemons and count to 100 and it should go away.
57. Eating 100 cals 4 times a day is better than eating a 400 cal meal.
58. An occasional binge doesn’t hurt, in fact it’s quite beneficial if you have reached a plateau (stopped losing weight). Your body will think you have stopped starving yourself, and you will drop at least a pound overnight! Just don’t binge too regularly!
59. Someone told me that if you take a pure cold bath for 15-30 min and lower your body temp, your body burns around 200 cals for every degree it has to raise itself to reach a normal body temperture. This person tried it, a 30 min bath lowered their temp about 3-4 degrees

Mythic Call

Once upon a time, a galactic council was called and a mythic call was sent out to countless light beings: the Children of the Sun, the Angelic Winged ones, the Sun runners, the Rainbow Warriors, and other Luminous ones from many star systems. This great circle of Light Beings gathered from far and wide. At the appointed nexus, the Love of the Spinning Galaxies, the Great Spirit, entered, gracing them all with celestial light and the following words.

“You are invited to incarnate upon a world where a great transformation will take place, ” began the Love of the Spinning Galaxies. “You who respond to this call will go to a place of planetary evolution where the illusions of fear and separation are strong teachers. I am calling those with the needed talents and gifts to act as my emissaries there, to lift and transform the frequencies of planet Earth, simply by embodying and anchoring love’s presence there. In this myth, you will be the creators of a new reality, the reality of the golden octave. ”

The Love of the Spinning Galaxies continued: “On other journeys, each of you has proven to be a "feeling navigator,” able to awaken your consciousness and align your heart to the promptings of pure love and compassionate service. As Sun runners and torch bearers, you have already demonstrated that you will hold the light high. And so, I invite you to incarnate en masse among the tribes of Earth to assist Gaia and all her children in their transformation.

“It is part of the plan that you will be veiled in forgetting,” the Mystery of the Spinning Galaxies went on. “However, as you remember the feeling of childlike innocence and trust, you will become the harmonic leavening in this cycle of initiation for Earth. You will incarnate strategically, often in some of the most vibrationally dense areas on the planet. To some, this illusion of separation from love may create feelings of hopelessness, lack of support, and alienation. But by embracing your humanness, your love will transform the depths of duality, and your light will quicken the many.

"Your participation on this quest is purely voluntary; however, this transformational shift on Earth is very rare and precious. Should you choose to accept this mission, you will have the opportunity to catalyze and synthesize all that you have been during many incarnations, receiving a rarely offered quantum leap in consciousness. It is up to you to choose how you will dance with Terra Gaia and her children as she completes her ceremony of light.”

So spoke the Creator, the Light of the Spinning Galaxies. And so it was that the luminous beings who formed the countless alliances, federations, and councils of the faithful of the stars chose to incarnate on planet Earth to assist in this crucial event, the awakening of the planetary dream. There was even a fail-safe process built into the plan to awaken these beings from the illusion of separation and the veil of forgetfulness that is so rife upon Earth. The luminous ones who would journey to Gaia’s assistance agreed to spark each other’s remembrance. Thus, these starseeded ones were encoded in many ways with sounds, colors, lights, images, words, and symbols – a vibrational resonance that would assist them in remembering their commitment to the light. It was agreed that these coded clues would appear everywhere: in visionary art and music, in penetrating looks, in speech and feelings – all creating a deep yearning to awaken and become the embodiment of love.

So it is that you, the children of the Sun, are now being bathed in the waters of remembrance, prepared as rainbow warriors to fulfill the promise of the new and ancient myth. By simply anchoring love’s presence on Earth, you lovingly draw down the mantle of the gods, sending waves of healing and love throughout Gaia’s eagerly receptive body. As you emerge in this time, your gifts awaken and empower others. Utilizing the tools of laughter, song, dance, humor, joy, trust, and love, you are creating the powerful surge of transformation that will transmute the limitations of the old myth of duality and separation, birthing the miracle of unity and peace on Earth.

Utilize your gifts on behalf of Gaia. In a supernova of consciousness, Gaia and her children will ascend in robes of light, forming a luminous light body of love, to be reborn among the stars! The mythic call has been sounded. The great quest has begun. Awaken, rainbow warriors, Sun runners, luminous beings from the galactic alliances, federations, and councils! Ancient skywalkers, newly formed in this moment, stand in the beauty and power of your true identity as love’s gift to Gaia. Set aside self-doubt. You are the divine child of the Sun! Go where your heart draws you to share your great gifts. Surrender to the magic and the light. The miracle will be manifested on Earth. Remember, we Dance and Sing here for the One Heart.. 

(The Mayan Oracle)

kesomon  asked:

Personally, I'm headcanoning that Time Drift can happen in reverse - if you're stuck in one period, you start to blend into the timestream, like Ray/Kendra/Sara in the 50's. But if you're timeless for too long, you start to lose your sense of self. It might explain the Time Masters being an unnaturally amoral group, in a way, and also might explain stuff like why Jerk-but-for-Reasons S1!Martin was Jerk-for-no-reasons S2!Martin. They're disconnected from their own reality and its eroding them.

I’ve been waiting to answer this ask until I had something more cogent to say than just like *pterodactyl screeching* but it’s not coming to me lol.

I love this headcanon. I’m 100% sure the Legends writers aren’t aiming for that, but it fits and it’s beautiful (and tragic, so tragic?). You can see it for all of them. Like, acknowledging that all of these changes can come from other places, I love to just imagine how Time Drift could’ve catalyzed or exacerbated all of these things:

  • How Sara’s characterization has changed from Arrow to S1 to now. Being captain but also being across time so much, taking pieces of the different eras with her, changing her worldview as time flows around her. She’s a nurse, she’s a witch, she’s Sir Lancelot. She doesn’t think about if she’s leaving pieces of herself behind with each new one she picks up in a new time. She knows she’s different, but can’t quite remember in what way, anymore. 

  • Rip for sure, but he’s known in the longest, felt it the longest, and understands it the deepest. And how having a team changed that for him, how having a family is probably what kept him tethered in time in the first place, more than the average Time Master. Losing himself in memories when he enters the temporal zone, lost whenever he’s not with other people.

  • Martin becoming more of a jerk, talking (thinking?) less and less about Clarissa, less about being a hero on an adventure. Distancing himself from Jax and performing brain surgery on Rory before turning around and being an ass to them both not long after, sort of forgetting all that. What happens in one time seems to stay in that time, for him. 

  • Jax becoming harder. Less focused on what it means to be part of a team, seeming happier when they’re on a mission and he’s on the ground, re-anchored in a time period. He shines when he’s on mission, feels alive no matter what time they’re in. The in-between days are spent focusing on the ship, learning all of the Waverider’s idiosyncracies and nooks and crannies. He loses himself for hours and hours, the passage of time and the sense of isolation not really mattering.

  • Ray never having full left the 50′s behind, still nostalgic for that life and holding part of it dear. Clinging to the Atom suit more than ever because he’s trying to suppress what it was like to have a life without it for a while, what it was like to be happily engaged and in love without all this. Welcoming the Time Drift on the ship and forgetting about it all, drifting away from the memories until he sees Nate and Amaya, until he’s back with Gertie (Gertrude? T-rex anyway) and remembers what it means to feel tethered and holding on to that.

  • Mick emotionally drifting away, drinking on the ship, eating on the ground in a time period. He’s resisting the sensation, like tendrils at the back of his mind, of what it felt like to be Kronos, never tethered in time at all, always afloat. He hates the feeling, and tries to drown it along with the rest of his sorrows. It takes connecting to the team, helping them, to remind him you can be tethered to a person, to people, and not to a time.

  • Leonard becoming untethered from his own past the longer he spent on the Waverider. More enmeshed in his goals, and then in the mission. In changing. Time Drift felt like flux to him, an impetus, a catalyst. Things felt different and he blamed it on not being in Central, not having the mafia and the cops chasing after him and breathing down his neck. But if he trusted himself to dig deeper, he’d have felt the fuzzy edges surrounding that sensation, the pull of the temporal zone putting distance between himself now and himself then. Time doesn’t flow at the Vanishing Point, and his past was so far away when he stepped up to the Oculus to die. Time didn’t feel real, and he cut the strings tethering him to it.

  • And the newcomers now, Nate and Amaya. Who had lives and families and teams before leaving. Who feel like those people are so distant, somehow, and think of them less and less, even though it’s been just a few months. How the present starts to feel like the only thing that matters: the mission. Amaya knows the feeling from the JSA but it’s different here, now. And Nate’s never known it at all. The jolt of excitement at being on the ground in a new time, the feeling that he’s more alive, somehow. He can’t place his finger on it. Neither of them can. Not yet. But Amaya feels like she can’t go back, not know. Her past life is just so… distant. Like it’s less real, somehow. It calls to her, sometimes, shows up unexpectedly in the form of an old teammate in a surprising era. But there is a wrongness to it, now. 

  • It’s hard to go back for any of them. The Hawks were different. They had lived 207 lives, with memories from each. Carter from the future even more so, but he retained no memories of the lives not lived with his beloved. They have always existed across time, and always felt the memory and sway of those past years, of different selves. Time Drift barely touched them, flowing over them like a gentle breeze they almost laughed at. Being in a different era was like a trip down memory lane, ultimately frustrating if they stayed too long. It’s why they were keen to stay in 2016, to forget life in the present, in one time. They’ve always preferred the present.
Undead Healthcare

Existence beyond death brings a shift in physical needs. Food and water become optional, but vitamins and minerals remain essential.

Healers and necromancers have begun teaming up to study and meet the needs of the undead: strengthening corporeal forms and preserving non-corporeal entities.

Elementalists specializing in earth magic deserve a special commendation as their unique talents catalyze the disparate spells and ingredients.

anonymous asked:

"If you want to use a hero or role model as a source of inspiration for your personal growth, you should NOT do so by trying to imitate them." By imitate do you mean e.g. watching your role model attempting something courageously and you finding the courage to overcome problems in your life as well?

No. Inspiration usually involves seeing someone do something you believed was unlikely or not within the realm of possibility and then that can catalyze you to do something in your life that you previously thought was impossible or unimportant. Reflecting on your feeling of being inspired teaches you about how you see yourself, it can reveal the unnecessary limitations in your thinking so that you can improve and become a better person - this process has little to do with the role model, that person was just the spark that opened your eyes to look at yourself more carefully and honestly.

By contrast, “imitation” means just mindlessly aping another person because you want to be them and possess the “glory” or “admiration” that they achieved. Imitation is often driven by unconscious issues like envy or self-loathing, where you want to be something else because you feel that you are nothing, deficient, or inadequate, so you try to fill that inner void with something foreign and external, thus denying the true self. For some, imitation can manifest as constant social comparison, where your self-image and self-esteem are largely determined by your status in relation to the people around you, either feeling inferior or superior depending on the comparison, so everything you do is about being better or not worse than someone else, which means you are likely to be wasting time, energy, and resources that could otherwise be directed to fruitful self-development. For some, imitation can manifest as constructing an “ideal” that you try to live up to based on the qualities that you believe can get approval, admiration, or recognition, but that ideal is not who you really are, rather, you are only forcing yourself into that image so that you can get a comforting ego “reward” to compensate for the lack of real self-knowledge. This is like admiring someone else’s shoes so much that you steal them and force them onto your feet even though they don’t fit, it will result in lifelong pain and deformed feet but you take solace in people occasionally commenting on how nice your shoes look.

🔮😒😔🔜😍❤️🔮

If you feel like your love life is at kind of a sticking point, this spell catalyzes things to get you out of a rut. For example, if you think your relationship is getting boring, this can help spice things up. If you’re waiting for your partner to propose or your crush to ask you out, this will help open the way so to speak.

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