In fact, the mere act of opening the box will determine the state of the
cat, although in this case there were three determinate states the cat
could be in: these being Alive, Dead, and Bloody Furious.
—   Schrodinger Cat - Terry Pratchett - Lords and ladies

anonymous asked:

If you were doing those prompt things, 24 and 25. (The 'fight me' and 'you're so small')

I was kind of stuck so I combined it with this ask;

Anon 2: Neighborhood Aus #6 and 10 please?

Your cat always fucking pisses on my doormat. (Sixth neighbors AU)

Will tried his best to keep Todd in the house, but for being a twelve pound cat, he was awfully slippery. The fat tuxedo cat was good at sliding out of the door while Will wasn’t looking and darting down the hall. Will always found him before he left for work and put him back in the apartment, but that didn’t deter Todd’s motivation in the slightest. It was probably the most exercise the cat got all day, so Will couldn’t get too upset about it. Besides, he was too chubby to get far and there wasn’t anywhere for him to hide in the barren hallway.

What Will didn’t know, though, was that cats defied physics. Despite popular belief, cats’ bodies were made entirely of liquid and Todd was perfectly capable of opening and fitting himself through the door to the patio. Apparently, Will didn’t feed him well enough (though his vet said otherwise), and he felt the need to scavenge elsewhere.

Will was in the process of trying to find said cat when there was a knock at his door, pulling him out from under his bed where he was searching for Todd. The last thing Will expected was to find his neighbor standing on the other side of the door, holding a previously missing fat cat known as Todd.

“There you are!” Will took the cat out of his neighbor’s arms before setting him down on the floor. If his memory served him correctly, the handsome man in front of him was Nico, a law student that shared an English class with Will.

“Your cat keeps fucking pissing on my doormat.” Nico was extremely blunt. “That’s the third mat I’ve had to replace. Fucking fight me.” If Will’s memory was still serving up correct information, they had an English paper due in a few hours. If the dark circles under Nico’s eyes were anything to go by, Will’s neighbor was more than a little stressed out and tired.

Will, on the other hand, had just worked a eight hour night shift after six hours of classes, and was feeling about as blunt as his neighbor was. “You’re so small.” That, apparently, was the wrong thing to say, because Nico was scowling up at Will. His exhaustion seemed to get the better of him moments later though, and Nico was sighing into the silence of the hallway.

“Just keep your cat in your house, dude.” Todd didn’t seem to care what Will and Nico were talking about though, because he was already trying to slip between Will’s legs and get out the door. Glancing at the clock on the wall and the cat on the floor, Will made a split second decision. Stepping out into the hallway and shutting the door behind him (making sure Todd was safely locked up on the other side), Will pulled his keys out.

“Let me make it up to you by buying you dinner,” Will glanced at his phone, “or breakfast? It’s like, midnight. I don’t know if that classifies food as breakfast yet.” Nico seemed to relax slightly, waiting to hear the pitiful cries of Todd at being shut in Will’s apartment before he headed out towards the parking lot.

“Breakfast. And buy me a new door mat.” Will felt himself smile.


I couldn’t resist a cat prompt

Schrodinger's Cat Explained: YUMMY EDITION

So you’re here to learn about quantum physics? We’ll start out with something easy.


This is the start of Schrodinger and his cat, Maxine.

Erwin Schrodinger arrives home from a whole days work studying quantum physics, frustrated with the Copenhagen view of quantum physics. He sat down by the fireplace in his favorite chair, poured himself some Bourbon, and started to think about his work.

Maxine the cat, however, was annoyed. “Why on earth has he not fed me yet?!” thought Maxine. “It’s not like he has anything better to do than to cater to my every need! ” Maxine was quite serious about this.

So Maxine devised an ingenious plan.

About an hour later, Schrodinger was thoroughly surprised when his cat fell from the sky onto his head.

Here is a little known history fact:
In the instance that Maxine jumped off the bookshelf, she suffered a heart attack, sadly causing her to die mid-flight. So Schrodinger was ACTUALLY surprised with a DEAD cat falling on his head.

After dealing with the aftermath, Schrodinger, like any good physicist, started to think again.

Two days later, Erwin Schrodinger published his so called “thought experiment”.

Here is what he said: (approximated for brevity’s purposes, lol)


 Schrödinger’s cat: a cat, a flask of poison, and a radioactive source are placed in a sealed box. If an internal monitor detects radioactivity (i.e., a single atom decaying), the flask is shattered, releasing the poison that kills the cat. The Copenhagen interpretation of quantum mechanics implies that after a while, the cat is simultaneously alive and dead. Yet, when one looks in the box, one sees the cat either alive or dead, not both alive and dead. This poses the question of when exactly quantum superposition ends and reality collapses into one possibility or the other.

[ Schrodinger’s posed question was this: "when does a quantum system stop existing as a superposition of states and become one or the other?“ (More technically, when does the actual quantum state stop being a linear combination of states, each of which resembles different classical states, and instead begin to have a unique classical description?)]

One can even set up quite ridiculous cases. A cat is penned up in a steel chamber, along with the following device (which must be secured against direct interference by the cat): in a Geiger counter, there is a tiny bit of radioactive substance, so small, that perhaps in the course of the hour one of the atoms decays, but also, with equal probability, perhaps none; if it happens, the counter tube discharges and through a relay releases a hammer that shatters a small flask of hydrocyanic acid. If one has left this entire system to itself for an hour, one would say that the cat still lives if meanwhile no atom has decayed. The first atomic decay would have poisoned it. The psi-function of the entire system would express this by having in it the living and dead cat (pardon the expression) mixed or smeared out in equal parts. It is typical of these cases that an indeterminacy originally restricted to the atomic domain becomes transformed into macroscopic indeterminacy, which can then be resolved by direct observation. That prevents us from so naively accepting as valid a “blurred model” for representing reality. In itself, it would not embody anything unclear or contradictory. There is a difference between a shaky or out-of-focus photograph and a snapshot of clouds and fog banks.
— Erwin Schrödinger

Wikipedia. Com (100% accurate, bro)
Schrodinger’s Written works

(Note: some of the information in the introduction is definitely fictitious.  This doesn’t mean it isn’t funny though.)

Summed up:

Schrodinger was a genius Austrian Physicist in the mid-20th century.  He devised a though experiment (which is thought to be a paradox)  that explains how quantum mechanics deals with a system (in this case, a cat)  when it transitions from one ‘state’ (like life)  to another (death). The theory also explains that at some point,  the cat is both alive and dead at the same “time”. However,  an observer can only see one of those two states at once.  (Like how an atom can be either positively charged,  or negatively at the same time. And how we can only ever view one of those two states at a time)

Confused?  Yeah,  you should be. This is an experiment in quantum physics that has had people coming up with whole new interpretations of quantum physics since it was published in November of 1935.

Thanks for reading! Throw a follow at me if you liked it!  :D