cat shaming

The Laws of Physics (According to my Cat)
  • Cat: Oh, something is occupying that space on your lap? OMG ME TOO I AM ALSO TOTALLY OCCUPYING THAT EXAXT SAME SPACE ON YOUR LAP.
  • Cat: Yeah, I'm gonna leap from this pile of books precariously stacked on the corner of the coffee table to the top of that curtain rod over there. This is a sound decision that will 100% guaranteed have a good outcome.
  • Cat: LOOK AT ME! I'M RUNNING LAPS ON THE HARDWOOD FLOORS! WHAT COULD POSSIBLY GO WRONG AS I TAKE THIS SHARP TURN AROUND THE UMBRELLA STAND?
  • Cat: Your lap is warm. I will now sit upon it, causing its temperatures to reach levels approaching spontaneous combustion. PURRRRR MOTHERFUCKER
  • Cat: My, my this looks like a cozy space to nap that is approximately the size of a thimble. ENGAGE CAT ORIGAMI.
  • Cat: If I just stick my paw in the glass of water, like so, and knock it to the side, like sooooooOOOOOO SHIT TEHE WATER IT IS COMING FOR ME