cat philosopher

Cat: Pack of cigarettes please.
Sales person: Are you sure that you want to waste one of your 9 lives on cigarettes?
Cat: You’re wasting your only life working in a convenience store.
Sales person: (wiping tears) 90 rubles please.

Ларёк - also киоск - a booth, a sort of a convenience store in Russia.

anonymous asked:

I went outside today without any cat fur on my clothes. i felt naked. Would be ok to snuggle the cats even though they are slumbering to get some of that beauté furs on me? am in a confusion

cat philosophers have been debatinge ethics of this very quandory for millenimums

ID #36478

Name: Gabbie
Age: 17
Country: Lithuania 

Hey! I’m Gabbie. I’m currently a high school student. I’m very interested in psychology and I’m going to study it in order to become a psychotherapist (that has been my goal for the past 5 years). I am the kind of person you can talk to about anything whether it’d be something deep and philosophical or just some adorable cat memes. I love cats, yes. I am also interested in art, music, reading, photography, buddhism, creative activities, programming. My favorite tv series: Sherlock, Hannibal, Mr Robot. My favorite books: “1984” by George Orwell, “Norwegian Wood” by Haruki Murakami, “Who Ordered This Truckload of Dung?” by Ajahn Brahm. I have a lot of favorite movies, for example The Little Prince, The Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, The Perks of Being a Wallflower, We Need to Talk About Kevin, etc. etc. I also like a very wide range of music. I listen to rock, electronic, indie, classical music. I’d love to speak in English or Lithuanian but I am also currently learning German so if any of you are patient enough to talk to a newbie - I’ll be waiting.

Preferences: I don’t have an age, gender, sexuality, etc. preference. I don’t think a person should be judged for these stats. :)

stringsofredcurrants-deactivate  asked:

I hope this is okay to ask here (please ignore if not) -- I'm Jewish and I'd really like to read more books that have a Jewish main character/s or that feature Jewish life. I'm finding it really hard to find books that feature day to day Jewish life without them dissecting Judaism or being in some way about the Shoah, if that makes sense. I guess I was mostly looking for books that normalise being Jewish somehow and I wondered if you had any recommendations?

A Wide Variety of Jewish Fiction Not Set in 1940′s Europe

It’s more than okay because I totally feel this. And it can be hard to find ourselves in contemporary lit because if the story isn’t about Jewishness or a character isn’t terribly observant, the book’s blurb and keywords often give us no hints. Meanwhile, gentile authors love to plop us down in the middle of our most famous mass tragedy, when there’s so much more to us.

So I am really glad that I can help. All of the following links go directly to my reviews, which are pretty detailed and should give you an idea if the book sounds like something you’d like.

Starting with YA, I recommend Playing with Matches (Modern Orthodox setting, about a girl trying to repair her relationship with her older sister and accidentally starting a matchmaking service) and My Year Zero (all girl love triangle.) Additionally, one of the two main characters in Gone, Gone Gone (all boy love triangle, but also about the trauma of living through the 2002 sniper crisis in Maryland) is Jewish.

Leading characters, although not the MC, of YA superstars Simon vs the Homo Sapiens Agenda and The Rest of Us Just Live Here, are Jewish. All of those have a contemporary setting; for historical f/f YA there is the short story The Fire-Eater’s Daughter, which is set in the 1950′s in a circus and has a Jewish lead. (With that time setting: her mom is a survivor but that’s not what the story is about.)

For graphic novels, I highly recommend the Rabbi Harvey books (philosophical/funny, setting some of our legends in the American Old West),The Rabbi’s Cat (philosophical/dark; this one kinda has some of that dissection you were trying to avoid), and the Mirka books (children’s fantasy about a lot of female characters in an Orthodox setting.) And I loved the two Jewish stories in the Dates LGBTQ+ comics anthology, both of which had trans characters.

Libi Astaire’s written a number of Regency mysteries set in London’s Jewish community, both short stories and full length. My favorite was The Doppelganger’s Dance, about a violinist being gaslit by a mysterious anonymous rival, and here’s a review of one of the shorts, “What’s in a Flame?” Speaking of historicals, Heather Rose Jones’s 1800′s lesbian fantasy series introduced well-rounded Jewish characters in its second book, The Mystic Marriage, which is about lesbian scientists creating magic rocks (the Jewish characters are the alchemist’s young apprentice and her father.)

Romance can be a minefield for us but here are some books I can endorse:True Pretenses (Regency m/f, Jewish author), Think of England (Edwardian m/m suspense, gentile author.)

For short, free Jewish sci-fi online I recommend Three Partitions (nonbinary, Orthodox) and Seven Commentaries on an Imperfect Land. Grand Jeté also fits these categories but is much darker (so not as much my personal preference.)

Finally, I hope you will consider checking out my own series, which is fluffy queer fantasy set in a made-up Jewish kingdom based on South Florida where I grew up. There are three novels and two short stories published so far with @torquerepress, with a fourth book and five more shorts coming this July. A good place to start is the two Tales from Outer Lands (the shorts), because they make a good intro and focus the most on the Jewishness. This free five-panel comic I wrote with @theloserfish makes another good preview; it’s about the queen’s girlfriend trying to bake gluten-free challah with the help of the palace wizard.

–Shira

@academicianzex said:

“wait how do you catgirl?”

——

My first reflex was to say “ask any trans girl”. But then I realized *I’m* any trans girl. Well. I’m at least any trans.

So if you want to be a catgirl ( and not a p-cat*, the concept in philosophy which are often called catgirls; to become a p-cat* irl, you would need something like a lobotomy and a reward mechanism tying you to a human ) the first step is to be a girl. Um, but if you aren’t a girl, I guess you can be a catgirl anyway if you want. But uh you can also be a catboy too. Such things exist.

Moving on, so you’ve decided to continue on your catgirl journey! The next steps are probably applicable to all types of np-cat*s ( that’s short for “non-philosophical cat{ girl, boy, enby }s” who are, amusing, more philosophical on average than p-cat*s ). B-but since catgirls were asked about a-a-and I don’t want to get caught up in the terminology, I’ll use the word “catgirl” and she/her/hers pronouns.

S-s-s-so, the second thing that you need on your catgirl transformation is a bit of a feline affect ( FA ). The ability to mew, meow, nya~, prrum, prrr, and nyan an useful skill to cultivate, though you can be a catgirl without it! Another important asepect of FA is the ability to curl, be pet, snuggle, hug, paw at things, and bop your head against things. Non-verbal communications of and requests for affection are HUGELY important to radiate cuteness and inspire a will to protect ( WtP ) you in other people.

¡!¡BEGIN CAUTION!¡!

IRL CATGIRLS OF ANIME EXTRACTION ARE DIFFERENT. Many members of this species of catgirl seek to emulate the cuteness of *anime* catgirls. FA is important, but the type of FA here is done with a large goal of *cuteness* in mind.

Things like eating out of a pet bowl or walking about on all fours or being led on a leash, while important to many people and practiced by catgirls, isn’t central to being an irl *anime* catgirl.

Being a cat is important and fun here, but catgirls aren’t purely role-playing as cats. Catness is sometimes an end goal but often instrumental. Our catgirls are different.

!¡!END CAUTION¡!¡

0.0 -( Oh, hi again. )
^~^ -( Back to the presentation… )

[ click ]

T-t-t-t-the third thing to consider on your catgirl journey is how you look. Depending on where you are and where you’d like to be, you may find the following accessories helpful to being a catgirl:

(1) cat ears [ SO CUTE! ]
(2) a clip-on cat tail [ SWISH SWISH ]
(3) estradiol [ SO SOFT! ]*
(4) antiandrogens [ LOW BP ]*
(5) stripy socks [ ADORABLE ]
(6) a pen to draw on whiskers [ A++ ]
(7) a skirt [ SWISH SWISH ( REPRISE ) ]
(8) soft, loose clothing [ LIKE PAJAMAS ]
(9) a ball of yarn [ BAT BAT ]

( Not that I need to say this, but my lawyers will yell at me if I don’t. Make sure to research all things with a * next to them before obtaining. If you don’t, they will likely have **unanticipated** side-effects that you might not like. )

[ ptsheew ]

I-i-i-i-i-i think that about wraps up the presentation on How Do You Catgirl 101. The fundamentals are:

(1) Be a girl ( or not )
(2) Practice cute feline affect for giving and receiving affection also being a cat in general
(3) Use accessories to become more adorable and cat-like ( or walk around naked which is very feline )

If you do one thing from (1), two from (2), and own or want to own two items from (3), you can safely say that you are a catgirl. If you do two from (1) you can safely claim the title of “gender prodigy” or um “bigender”. [ The specific examples may be incomplete. (1), (2), and (3) refer to the reference classes. If you find two acts that give you kitty feelings that aren’t on the list, this satisfies (2). ]

Anyway, not to construct the Sole Gates of Catgirldom. There are many ways in, this is one of them.

fartimagines  asked:

How would the rfa, v, and saeran act when drunk?

Zen

  • ALL MEN ARE PIGS
  • downs all his drinks and gets even more drunk
  • he’s a heavyweight so something must have happened to make him get this drunk, we’re talking blackout drunk
  • the type to get into a fight (just please don’t go for the face!)
  • gets really passionate about theater all of a sudden
  • starts???? crying???? about??? theater???
  • gets rlly touchy feely and emotional with whoever he came to party with
  • he gets extra loud when drunk and he already has a booming theater voice so it’s even more intense when he’s loud because he’s drunk
  • trips every fourteen seconds and keeps thinking he needs to do his night facial routine and go to bed on the sofa of the club or bar
  • yells if people make out

Jumin

  • gets the asian glow so bad even though he drinks wine regularly
  • gets philosophical about cats and tries to hold conversations with people about three piece suits but nobody knows what he’s talking about
  • what do you mean you don’t know what cuff links are you uncultured swine??????
  • is a very thoughtful drunk but it’s obvious he’s drunk because he can’t even pick up his drink right
  • the person zen is trying to fight probably
  • will write down ridiculous new business ideas in a notepad and remind himself to send to jaehee
  • but there’s so many typos it’s actually incoherent when he tries to read it the next day
  • gets extremely cranky the next day because of a hangover

Yoosung

  • can’t handle his fucking liquor he can’t hang he’s a lightweight
  • gets lit way too fast and not only does he yell (remember the call) he also gets pretttttty damn handsy too 
  • and he goes apeshit. LOLOL makes him think he can do things he actually can’t do.
  • once he starts hearing his own heartbeat the boy freaks the fuck out 
  • is this what death feels like wait LOLOL is releasing new armor tomorrow i can’t go yet
  • will be the first one to pass out lmao 
  • probably only wakes up to throw up and then goes back to sleep
  • the friend they can’t bring drinking anymore because once he thought he “leveled up” in real life and tried to climb a fence and run away and then tried to punch v and then missed and spun around to hit himself
  • saeyoung records this and it ends up a viral hit on youtube

Jaehee

  • hics thru the roof
  • keeps adjusting her fucking collar (why did u wear a collar 2 a club)
  • will 100% stick to mc like glue and needs to use the bathroom every 30 minutes so there is a lot of bathrooming
  • a very calm and cute drunk who hiccups constantly and honestly is probably only extremely drunk bc she ordered a virgin pina colada and the bartender accidentally put alcohol in it
  • a Lightweight™
  • maybe some drunk making out but hey man nobody is complaining
  • a very quiet and very red drunk who is Suffering and literally almost dies 
  • she’s not used to being trashed drunk and she does not react well to it she’s literally panicking and trying to remain rational and freaks out if she loses ny of her coordination
  • knows to ply herself with water and fatty foods the next day so she doesn’t get a hangover cus she’s a smart one
  • The Most Responsible Person In The RFA Next To V 

Saeyoung

  • the type of dude to stand on a table and start screaming
  • he’s so Extra™ even zen is kinda like… dude.. .
  • headbangs to literally every song and honestly everyone wants to murder him because he’s hit like 5 people already headbanging
  • the type to talk really loud when drunk
  • his glasses are so fogged
  • it’s kinda funny because he’s the type of extra ass person to do dumb things sober so you bet his ass is probably gonna do some Dumb Shit drunk and it’s gonna be worse
  • probably actually incites a fight between two people and starts a fight club outside of the bar and somehow gets the offer to be the leader of a cult
  • tries to map out a blueprint for a really complicated machine so he doesn’t have to brush his own teeth anymore and writes it down on a dirty napkin with a pencil
  • probably gets bored and goes on his phone to buy like 4 crates of phd. pepper 
  • needs to be monitored like he’s an 8 year old that owns weapons of mass destruction

V

  • takes jumin-level pictures of everything and it’s really funny because even jumin is like “lmao what”
  • a very quiet and calm drunk who probably just falls asleep before he can enter the truly shitfaced zone
  • a peaceful man who just wanted to come have fun with his friends but then saeyoung kept going all “you deserve to relax you’ve been working so hard” 
  • a heavyweight drinker but no one knew this until he started getting shots and downed it like it was water
  • everyone stared at him because it was alarming he had so much pent up stress
  • probably let’s out a secret that he doesn’t even bleach his hair he just reached full premature grey hair status and just dyes it blue because rika stressed the fuck outta him and u know it
  • wants to be at home in bed and honestly everyone needs to carry him out because he passed out and refuses to wake up for longer than two and a half minutes on average

Saeran

  • his want to kill everyone increases by tenfold drunk
  • he’s so drunk that his face is all red and he’s shouting about “u fools i’ll kill everybody” because somebody bumped into him 
  • he seems to me like an angry kind of drunk. probably tries to fight saeyoung prolly cus ya.
  • once he stops being so Angry he’s probably just really sad drunk and apologetic to everyone 
  • tries to explain to people that he just doesn’t know how to respond to affection because he’s never had it and only can respond with anger but the only thing that comes out is probably “i wanna fight all of you a little less than i did before”
  • the type to sulk in a corner and look so intimidating girls wont even approach him but they all just stare at him from a distance 
  • probably falls asleep in the bathroom tbh and just wants to go home