cat on the toilet

My cat:
- follows me everywhere
- watches me in the bath
- watches me in the toilet
- tries to take my food
- drinks out of my cup
- walks on my laptop when I try to work
- tries to smother me to death by laying on my face in my sleep
- bites me whenever I don’t show her enough attention

*holds cat*

My cat:

This is my 10 year old Pomeranian Tater-Tot her hobbies include: chasing cats, tearing up toilet paper and knocking down the garbage can in the kitchen

harry potter books rated by christmases
  • philosopher's stone: harry sees his parents for the first time in the mirror of erised. hagrid kisses mcgonagall on the cheek. harry's second good christmas of his life. 8/10
  • chamber of secrets: they spend most of christmas in the toilets and hermione turns into a cat. 2/10
  • prisoner of azkaban: harry gets a firebolt from sirius black. intimate christmas dinner in the great hall (the first to rise is the first to die). ron and harry both get in a fight with hermione over the firebolt. 5/10
  • goblet of fire: oh hell yeah. the yule ball. hagrid flirts at christmas (yet again) except this time with madame maxime. hermione gets to kiss viktor krum (probably). harry and ron take the best looking girls in the year to the ball though do not take advantage. this is the best christmas. 10/10.
  • order of the phoenix: mr weasley gets chomped by a snake, we intrude on neville interacting with his sad insane parents, hermione ditches her own parents, ron gives hermione perfume for christmas and is thoroughly rebuffed, harry is extremely angry. the only good thing that happens this christmas is that someone gets a fancy hippogriff calendar tho later on this person dies. 0/10
  • half-blood prince: it took this long for harry to spend a normal family christmas with the weasleys at the burrow. still, the holiday is soured by fleur delacour making fun of celestina warbeck, and percy showing up to dinner with the minister and leaving with mashed parsnip on his glasses. 7/10
  • deathly hallows: But they were not living, thought Harry: They were gone. The empty words could not disguise the fact that his parents’ moldering remains lay beneath snow and stone, indifferent, unknowing. And tears came before he could stop them, boiling hot then instantly freezing on his face, and what was the point in wiping them off or pretending? He let them fall, his lips pressed hard together, looking down at the thick snow hiding from his eyes the place where the last of Lily and James lay, bones now, surely, or dust, not knowing or caring that their living son stood so near, his heart still beating, alive because of their sacrifice and close to wishing, at this moment, that he was sleeping under the snow with them. fuck this. -500/10