cat impersonation

anonymous asked:

prompt: marinette almost gets akuma. almost. the akuma flies away or so she thought. Throughout the week the akuma keeps coming back as different animals/ forms and keeps trying to egg her on to make her akumatized. (honestly this was a dream i had)

lol, I tried.  X’D


Marinette was known for her sheer optimism.  Other than that one, teeny, tiny exploitable force that she was certain only her best friend knew about.

Evidently not.

“Marinette Dupain-Cheng,” sneered Chloe, not even bothering with a typical judgmental look.  The girl, tired from last night’s patrol, couldn’t be bothered to note the lack.

“Chloe,” responded the girl as she plopped down into her seat.  She was, for once, early and decided to attempt making the few precious moments before class as productive as she possibly could.

By sleeping.

Marinette put her head on her desk and burrowed in between two arms which weren’t a great pillow, but would have to do.  She closed her eyes and willed the silence to last just a bit longer.  Just so she could get five more minutes…

SLAM!

Marinette jerked out of her seat, her pillow of arms unfurling in order to defend herself from the sudden onslaught.  Blearily, she recognized the source of the sound as an object on her desk.  A ruler?  She looked up.

Mme. Bustier was less than pleased with Marinette.

“Mlle. Dupain-Cheng, while I appreciate your effort to come to the classroom on time, it would be beneficial for you to remain awake while here.”

“Yes, madame…” muttered Marinette meekly.  Mme. Bustier stood there for a moment before deciding to continue with the lesson, which appeared to be trigonometry.  Marinette glanced over to her side to see that Alya, her one and only true blue friend who would have kept her out of this mess, was no where to be found.  She glanced forward to Nino, confusion in her eyes.

Nino pantomimed throwing up and wiping his mouth.  Marinette got the picture.  She shuddered and turned her attention back to the front, now feeling slightly more awake.

A cruel chuckle from the right drew Marinette’s attention.  She glowered in Chloe’s direction for a moment, wondering what on earth was so funny.  After a few moments, the girl’s chortling died down.  And then she turned and looked at her and started again.  What was so funny?

“Marinette,” whispered Adrien.

Sweet, kind, perfect Adrien who had turned around and was pantomiming something at her.  What was he doing with his hands?  Rubbing his face?  His mouth?  Was he trying to impersonate a cat?

Dumbly, she found herself copying him.

And she wiped something wet from the corner of her mouth.

Shock flooded her system, rooting her to the spot.

No.  No no no no no no no nonoooooo….  Marinette glanced at the desk and sure enough, a small puddle of drool sat before her, a criminal that looked completely innocent.

Nino had pantomimed wiping his mouth.  She thought he had been talking about Alya still.  Chloe had kept chuckling at her.  She thought she was laughing at her in general.

Adrien had seen her with drool on her face.

Mortification swept through her and she hurried to hide the evidence, though the damage was done.  Her reputation was shattered.  Adrien would think she was a total loser and never want to associate with her again!  She–

Something slid into her peripheral vision.  A handkerchief?  What?

Marinette looked ahead to see Adrien sitting completely inconspicuously.  Completely innocent. Absolutely divine.  And as though he hadn’t just passed her her one and only salvation.  She glanced over at Nino to make sure she wasn’t dreaming.  He simply gestured for her to take it.

And take it she did.  Instantly, she felt so much better.  Adrien was kind and perfect and wonderful.  And he didn’t care if she drooled in her sleep–even though she really didn’t do it very often, only when she was face down.

Marinette cast these thoughts aside as she used the handkerchief to wipe her face and the desk clean as discreetly as possible.  In her love-induced joy, she almost didn’t notice the little purple butterfly  fluttering away from the window.

She wondered if it would be a problem for later, but she decided to enjoy the feeling of Adrien’s handkerchief in her fingers for now.


“Sorry, ‘Nette, I thought it was obvious,” apologized Nino as they left class.  He and Adrien had offered to spend the time with her as her best friend was currently MIA.  Nino’s presence was Marinette’s temporary grounding for Adrien’s presence.

“I thought you were telling me Alya was sick,” she said, glaring at him.  Half of it was because she really was mad.  Half was because she was trying desperately not to get tongue tied around Adrien.

“I was, but then I thought I’d warn you, but…”

Marinette sighed.  She couldn’t stay mad for too long.  His heart had been in the right place.

“Marinette Dupain-Cheng.”

The raven haired girl turned to look at Chloe, who was standing a good five feet away.  It was odd, since the girl had a tendency to always get up close and personal with her victims.  Still, the girl appreciated the distance.

“What do you want?” asked Marinette.  “I’m trying to enjoy break.”

“I want you to get your slobbering self away from my Adrikins,” retorted Chloe.  “Nino may be dirty, but at least he doesn’t drool all over Adrihoney’s head or steal his handkerchief.”

“Hey!” called Nino.

“Chloe, she didn’t steal it, I gave it to her,” said Adrien.

“Look at you,” cooed Chloe.  “Still doing charity for the most pathetic people in class.”

Blood rushed into Marinette’s ears.  Seriously, how dare she?  Yeah, dinging on her in front of Adrien was mortifying, but dinging on Adrien in front of her was horrible!

“It’s not charity, Chloe!  He’s a genuinely nice person who does genuinely nice things!”

The blonde could only scoff.

“Please.  As if you would know about being genuinely nice, Maritrash.”

The girl struggled to keep a lid on her anger, she really did.  But then something happened.  Something absolutely awful.  Something despicable.

Poop landed on her shoulder.

White bird poop.

On her hand made.

Black.

Jacket.

If she was mortified this morning, she felt positively humiliated now.  Anger and shame washed through her and she wanted nothing more than to find some way to make Chloe pay.  She was only aggravating the wound.

Marinette, don’t let her get to you.

The thought jarred her from her anger.  How long had it been since her conscience had begun to sound like Tikki?

Nevertheless, the thought had left a small seed. It wasn’t Chloe’s fault.  Yeah, she was making it worse, but getting angry would only give her the satisfaction.

Spite, fuel her, she was going to have the best day ever no matter what.

“…ot nice, Chloe.  You should apologize.”

Adrien’s voice reached her ears and Marinette tuned into the conversation around her.  She saw Nino holding back his laughter while looking at Chloe, who looked shocked and maybe even a bit disgusted.  And Adrien…  he looked upset.

Such a look on his face saddened Marinette.

“Whatever,” said Chloe as she stomped away.  Confused, Marinette turned to the boys.  One was howling in laughter and the other looked at her with worry.

“Do you want to…Huh, you must have already done it…”

“Done what?” asked Marinette.  As an answer, Adrien pointed to her shoulder.

“Cleaned up the bird poop.  That was really quick, I didn’t even see it.  Is it some sort of secret seamstress knowledge?” asked the boy, his beautiful and innocent green eyes wide with curiosity.

Curiosity which Marinette shared.  But rather than look to her shoulder, she decided to scan the sky for the bird that had targeted her.

And worryingly enough, the bird flew past.  A deep shade of purple.


“..and then it left.”

Ladybug sat on the rooftops with her partner Chat Noir, going over her day and what she had seen.  Her partner gazed at her with half incredulation and half amusement.

“And you’re sure it wasn’t just a normal bird that pooped on you?”

“I’m sure, kitty.  Even if it didn’t mysteriously vanish when I felt better, it still gave off that same purple that the akumas give.”

“Well, are you sure–”

“Chat Noir, I’m sure.  It kept coming back throughout the day!  How everyone else missed it, I don’t know.  It came back as a bird, a rabbit, an armidillio, a ferret, a dog, even as a sea-otter!”

“A sea-otter?” asked Chat.  “And no one else saw it?”

“I swear on my Ladybug luck, a purple sea otter splashed me in the face, soaking my shirt in front of half my class.”

“And no one questioned it?”

“They all thought that it was a runaway from a zoo or something.  Half the class was trying to stop someone from taking pictures and the other half helped me clean off.”

Chat Noir frowned.  “It sounds like whatever this was was trying to make your day even worse.  Make you angry, maybe.”

“I’m almost positive that’s what it is.  I’m glad it didn’t follow…me…on…”

Oh no.  Oh heck to the no.  No way.  Nope, nope, nope, nope.

“Ladybug? What’s–oh!  Look, it’s a cat!”  Chat Noir reached for it with a smile.  “I wonder how it got up here.”

The anger that had been swiftly boiling at this thing’s audacity to turn itself into a cat broke.  Confusion took its place and wrapped around Ladybug.  It was right there.  Chat was about to pet the thing!  She grabbed his shoulder and jerked him back.

“My Lady!  Hey!”

“How are you not seeing what I’m seeing?”

“What are you seeing?  It looks like a black cat to me.”

“Are you sure?”

Ladybug glared at the cat which Chat claimed was black.  To her, it was a mass of purple, shifting and staring at her.  She took several deep breaths.  She didn’t have Marinette’s problems now, she was Ladybug.  Ladybug was a superhero.  Ladybug should be able to fact check.

Fact check.  What was something she did to akumas that wouldn’t hurt anything?

“Chat, I’m going to try something real quick.  If it fails, you can pet the cat, okay?”

“Uh, sure thing, bugaboo.”

Ladybug opened her yoyo and tossed it in the cat’s general direction.  Cursed with curiosity, the creature nudged itself closer to the light and sniffed.

And then Ladybug and Chat Noir literally watched an adult cat get sucked into Ladybug’s little yoyo.  The lid closed on top of the entrance and Ladybug could feel the creature within being purified.

“…did it really look like just a normal black cat to you?” asked Ladybug as she stared at her yoyo.

“Yeah,” answered Chat.  “And you said it’s been following you all day?”

Ladybug nodded before reaching to her yoyo.  She pressed the entrance and backed away, not sure what animal would come out.

Out flew a beautiful white butterfly.

Bewildered, Ladybug could only bid it a detached farewell.

5

See this beautiful cat who looks like a Studio Ghibli soot sprite come to life? This is Fuzzy. And she needs a home!

STATS:

  • Location: Brooklyn, NY
  • Age: 6 or 7
  • Indoor cat
  • Spayed!
  • Medium-legth black fur
  • Petite, but squishy 
  • Gigantic cartoon eyes. 

PERKS:

  • The loudest purr
  • Super affectionate 
  • Gets along with quiet, low-energy dogs of any size. So long as they don’t bother her, they’re cool. 
  • Quiet and sedentary 
  • Low maintenance. She does fine being left alone for a whole day, so long as she has food and some attention before you leave. 
  • Has a hilarious meow. Sounds like a duck impersonating a cat. 
  • Not destructive. She likes to claw furniture a little, but no harm has come to my vintage velvet couch. She’ll let you trim her nails if they get too long.

QUIRKS:

  • Is so stressed in the presence of other cats that she will soil herself
  • No tolerance for frisky puppy nonsense. She will hide under any furniture available. 
  • Probably would not enjoy young children
  • Demands pets always, but sometimes becomes over-sensitized and forgets what a hand is. She will try to mouth you a little, before realizing your hand is just a hand, and demanding more pets
  • Will play with your shoelaces while you’re trying to tie your shoes. 

Please reblog to help me find Fuzzy a home, and keep reading if you’re interested!

Keep reading

What to do if Your Cat Won’t Let You Leave the Basement

1. Plead for your life, but be warned; cat will string you along for hours, won’t actually listen

2. Try offering cat money or real estate in exchange for safe passage through basement door

3. Check to make sure you aren’t a mouse; if you are, might as well stop reading

4. Remind cat they’re “in so much trouble" for all the good it will do you

5. Impersonate Egyptian cat goddess Bastet; while cat is awestruck, run like a coward

anonymous asked:

hi! it's susu - again! i LOVE your blog! i love these with nsfw! so cute! maybe can write some about it? ace fall asleep, narcolepsia. marco and sabo know it's the best to let him sleep. because. when he wakes up, he becomes headache and stomach pain. now he fell asleep and a few crew members wake him up....

“Leave me here to die” Ace moaned against the deck floor. He laid on his stomach pressing his face into the wood while doing a fine impression of a dead fish. 

Above him, three members of the sixth division exchanged bewildered looks.  They didn’t know what was wrong with the commander, and they hadn’t meant to cause this…impression. The three had just been on their way to explore the town they docked on when Eddy had spotted Ace fast asleep, little ways before the ramp. 

He had reached out, shaking the commander awake with the intent of walking him to bed. Silver eyes popped open faster than he thought was normal after such a deep sleep.

The brown hair man opened his mouth to speak but Ace’s face had turn green and the next thing he knew the twenty-year-old rolled away from him to hurl into the ocean. 

And kept going.

The three men stood to the side, shocked to see the youth so sick. Earl had snapped out of it, to rush forward. He helped Ace with holding back his bangs and patting his back.

A few minutes afterward Ace had stopped paled and sweating. He leaned away from the edge, giving Earl a grateful smile. 

 The second Commander then slammed his head onto the floor and hadn’t moved since.  

“I’m going to go get a nurse,” Tim spoke up after a while, nodding his head towards the medical wing. Eddy and Earl both looked grateful.  “I think you need to see a doctor. I’ll be right back-”

“No.” The three men paused surprised by Ace’s firm voice even while it was pressed against the floor. “Ace no like doctors. Ace stays here. Let Ace die.”

Eddy looked at his twin brother for help but Earl didn’t know what to do either. Why was the commander speaking in the third person? Perhaps he was delusional?  

“Um, Ace? You’re not well. I really think you should-”  Earl started but jumped back when Ace sprung up like a spring landing on the railing next to them. The younger man hissed at them, before leaning his head back enough to fall. 

With his back forming a perfect arch the second Commander was gone.

All three blinked.  

“Did Ace just impersonate a cat?” Tim whispered as the other two were lost for what to do. 

“Oh he gets like that whenever you wake him form his naps.” Sabo chirped suddenly standing behind Tim. The scream the other man released was nowhere near manly but seeing as both Earl and Eddy were clutching each other’s hands he didn’t feel as bad. 

Sabo for his part seemed to not notice, happily smiling at where Ace disappeared. In the blond’s hands was a giant rope net, he gave it a few gentle tugs before leaping over the railing a cheerful “I’ll catch him!” thrown over his shoulder.

“What?” Early started but he was cut off by screaming. It took them a second to recognize it as Ace’s voice.

“No! I don’t want to!”

“Get back here! You’re going to see a doctor and if you don’t I’ll rip off you dick with my dragon claws!” No man should sound so bubbly while making that kind of threat. Eddy made a vow to never get on Sabo’s bad side.

  “What the fuck?” Tim deadpanned. 

“Hissssss”

“Don’t  you hiss at me! Don’t make me get Marco!”

Hissssss!

“That’s it! Dragon Claw!” 

AGHHHHHHH YOU BLOND MONSTER!

Earl pressed his knees together with a wince. “Oh, my sea. Did he just-?”

“Nope, I saw nothing,” Eddy shouted rising to his feet. He looked just as pale as his brother but he his lips were pressed in a line “I saw nothing. I heard nothing. I am going to walk away now.” 

“I’ll come with you,” Tim mumbled turning on his heel to match Eddy’s step.  Earl scrambled to his feet tumbling after them. He glanced over his shoulder every now and then as Ace’s screams grew louder.

He turned to his twin with a guilty frown. “Should we tell Commander Marco about this?”

“About what?”

“You know Ace and Sabo-”

“ I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

“Eddy… you can’t pretend you didn’t see that.”  

“Yes, I can.”

“No, you can’t.”

“Watch me.” 

A few hours later Marco helped the nurses tie down both of his lovers and Earl felt bad that he waited so long to tell him. Luckily the Phoniex came just in time to stop Sabo from doing something drastic but he had serval wounds as a result of attempting to do something drastic.

Eddy pretend to be surprised along with their siblings when the raven-haired man and the blond were dragged kicking and screaming into the medical wing because he’s an ass.

Tim just sat at the bar with a bottle mumbling under his breath “What the fuck?” for a few hours. He looked a little traumatize so Earl left him alone. 

Just another day on the Moby Dick.

Lindsey. Cat. WTF. Lindsey kidnapping Diana and Cat impersonating Mr. Scratch AND threatening to kill Diana. Penelope hands in her letter of resignation. Emily, god bless her soul, pulls a a rather smart that I know I never would have thought and she boy did she snap at that counselor and the team. Spencer gets to go home but he comes face-to-face with Cat (brace yourselves for next episode). Saw the preview for next week’s episode and I swear on my life that if Emily get hits by that semi-truck if that’s what the preview is showing than I might just be done for good. She’s already been hit by one once, don’t let it happen again. Shemar is coming back and I am ever so excited for that because I miss seeing Mister Good-Looking-And-I-Do-1000-Sit-Ups-Every-Morning and I hope he convinces Penelope to stay. I need her sunshine on that show because she’s beautiful and amazing and she always knows how to make the team smile somehow. Oh and one last thing, SAVE DIANA! SPENCE HAS BEEN THROUGH ENOUGH!

And that is the end of my thoughts on tonight’s episode.

If you ever feel bad about yourself just remember

Einstein: dead
Abraham Lincoln: dead
Martin Luther King Jr: dead
Mark Zuckerberg: dead
Marco Polo: dead
Tubba Blubba: dead
Pringles Can Dude: dead
Steve: dead
Rikki-Tikki-Tavi: dead
Raiden: dead
The person who invented Chiclets: dead
Zoltar: dead

You: not dead yet

Get out there. Breathe in some fresh air. Drink six gallons of water per day. Ride a ferret like a dumb tiny horse. Release a thousand mice with glitter bombs strapped to them into a retirement home. Do a sick kickflip up to heaven and punch St. Peter in the dick. Call your grandparents. Test a Czechoslovakian dildo. Crab walk into the ocean and scream. Set fire to your friend’s car and drive it into a funeral procession while blasting My Chemical Romance (not Helena, that’s too cliche). Start a war with nerds. Hire a cat impersonator. Fight a ghost.

Don’t let anyone tell you what you can or can’t do.

Be everything you want to be.

Never give up.

'stupid shit my friend has said to me' sentence starters

DISCLAIMER: This was my friend’s idea. Her name has been removed to protect the innocent guilty. Most of these are probably gonna be NSFW. And yes, these all have actually been said to me.

  • “For the record, I have not used a flute as a dildo. Yet.”
  • “If you haven’t seen ‘Back to the Future’, I can’t even look at you.”
  • “I’m pretty sure ‘Heathers’ is just an elaborate plot put together from Tumblr textposts.”
  • “I’m going to fuck a vampire, BTW.”
  • “I wish I was friends with me so I could enjoy how hilarious I am without hating me.”
  • “I’m exactly like that shitpostgenerator blog but I was made by God instead of whoever made the shitpostgenerator blog.”
  • “Remember the gay cat ebook I told you about?”
  • “Do you ever see a character and you have some obscenely sexual thought and you just have to step back for a second and examine what life choices led you to a life of constant sin?”
  • “I’m ready to get fucked in the ass tonight.”
  • “Nope. Not okay. This is 0% okayness.”
  • “If you brought a ton of pads you could stick them all over your clothes and be a knight.”
  • “We’re having swagetti and memeballs.”
  • “Being friends with me is like being friends with the third page of a Google search.”
  • “Is Macbeth a number?”
  • “Go, find a bird, and FIGHT IT.”
  • “I cannot be bothered. I am reading gay things.”
  • “I just got punched in the butthole.”
  • “Ducktective is my best friend.”
  • “Tell me all about your hella Mary Sue self-insert character. Don’t lie, I know you had one.”
  • “So last night [name] was impersonating my cat…”
  • “Okay, so if it’s not gay if it’s on the moon, is it gay if it’s WITH the moon?”
  • “What do you think bears dream about?”
  • “If you have an objection, you have to show the jury your boobs.”
  • “We can recite poetry together.”
  • “That was one of the most douchey-rich-kid things I’ve ever said.”
  • “Want to join a group chat where we send each other pics and make comments like the ones on Nicki Minaj’s Instagram?”
  • “Drugs need hugs, too.”
  • “What if I get double pregnant? Will one cancel the other out?”
  • “[TXT:] I AM OUT CAMPING AND I HAVE TO PEE BUT I WAS SLEEPING IN THE CAR AND I CAN FIND MY SHOES OR FLASHLIGHT I AM IN    H E L L”
  • “Cats can notice a mouse from like three yards away, but put a fuckin’ treat on the ground and they can smell it but they can’t find it without me fucking picking him up and putting his head right in front of it.”
  • “Why did he let you in on my awesome prank idea? We would’ve pranked you SO HARD.”

Ok Supergirl daemon au what would their daemons be how are daemons different on Krypton and Mars maybe Kryptonians they don’t only settle on one form or maybe that’s a side effect of being on Earth but Kara having a daemon from Krypton and maybe needing to be separated and faking having a small daemon and maybe has a hologram like a small tiny insect daemon but has to leave her daemon in her apartment because Kara’s all about trying to keep a low profile but no one can ignore that daemon it’s too unusual, too memorable, no one would forget such a daemon. Or, maybe an ability to change from a Kryptonian animal to Earthly one- after-all, Kara’s extraordinary, why not her daemon? And Kara and Supergirl having different daemons solidifies the illusion (And if they are just Separated, along with the “take off your glasses” scene there’s “show me your daemon,” because no one has ever seen Kara’s daemon)

And Alex’s daemon already being settled originally when Kara comes to visit them, but there’s a moment–maybe after their first hug (because hugging someone who can’t control their own superstrength, but is in desperate need of a hug? That’s not something done lightly), or comforting Kara after a nightmare, and Alex made the choice to protect Kara, always, and her daemon changes because being a protector becomes so much of an intrinsic part of her identity, she’s not the same person as she was before Kara came her daemon can’t help but show that change.

Children walking around who’s daemons turn (just temporarily, for a few minutes maybe. The fit is never right, they don’t know enough about Kara’s daemon or Kara herself really, Krypton is just too (pun!) alien for them to wrap their mind around. Although after spending time with Kara , Carter’s daemon is much better at holding the form than all of his friends, much to Cat’s puzzlement).

J’onn’s (Hank’s) daemon shifting depending on who he is impersonating, Cat having something small but completely deadly (underestimated, you never see her coming before that final strike). Lucy having a canine, because first and foremost she is loyal, she wants to serve and to help.

Just daemon!au Supergirl

OMG! “I Look Like Laura Dern” is trending on Tumblr! This is what you get excited about when you are twenty-eiauealvjkdsluahhhhh and don’t have a baby. Thank you so much for following me on my journey to stardom.

SNL HERE I COME MAYBE!

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goat impersonating cat 

oh my gosh this is so awkward uhmm this expressingcolors person on instagram is impersonating me and they’ve even gone so far they’re impersonating my cat? as well as fabcricating stories about pictures they’ve stolen like “this friend of mine bought this necklace for me thank you friend” on a picture she’s stolen from me like heck no girl thats not even a necklace thats a keychain and I bought it 8 years ago

how do you report people on insta

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My fellow Americans. There is Ebola in America. Which means, we are screwed.

Not A Dream

Thank you all so much for the lovely reviews you all gave on my story ‘Connections’ yesterday (especially @imagine-miraculousladybug for giving my fic a boost and everyone else who commented including @my-insanity-is-an-artform) Thank You all so much. I was feeling more up to writing today so this is me ficing one of my favorite headcanons based on this art by @naptillmorning.

Btw I am horrible with coming up with titles so don’t hold it over me.

Leave reviews and constructive criticism. (They are my life).

*Presents fic with a flourish* :

The halls were silent as a young Adrien Agreste slept sweetly in a room too big for a three year old, but being the son of a fashion mogul certainly had its perks. A wail pierced through the night as Mrs. Agreste jumped out of bed hearing the cries through the baby monitor on her bedside table and ran to her son’s spacious room. The baby boy was sobbing with fat round tears rolling down his cheeks. It was obvious he had had a nightmare. A lullaby and a kiss to the forehead later he was sound asleep and watched over by his mother who was sporting a slightly sad smile. She knew her son was meant for great things. But great things came at a great cost.


Ladybug stood at the top of a roof overlooking a silent neighborhood. She didn’t bat an eye when a dark figure silently slipped behind her. It was surprising how silent the cat impersonator could be especially with a baby carrier. The red and black clad superheroine turned around with a smile.

“You brought Adrien tonight ?”

Keep reading

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Daniel, JR and Tyler impersonating cats in heat.

“A cat fucking is what it was.”

“No, a cat in heat.”

“Oh, in my mind it was having sex."