Hi! Hope you don't mind me asking you this, but you seem to have an awesome grip on the tg characters and themes and there's something I never understood about Hide ^^'' So in chapter 118 he talks about Kaneki's personality and we see he's frustrated because Kaneki should have "told him things" since they grew up together and all, and he calls him selfish. But, we don't know much about Hide, but he doesn't seem to tell Kaneki things much either? About himself I mean. Maybe it's because the /1
story didn’t reveal his past etc and he actually did tell Kaneki things
about himself, but I just find it paradoxical that he would complain
about Kaneki doing that when Hide himself seems to do that as well? I
hope I’m not bothering you with this :’)
First of all: Please excuse the late reply, anon! And no, of course I don’t mind! I was very happy to see that someone wants to read my opinion on certain topics! I hope my answer won’t disappoint.
My personal take on the matter is that Hide wasn’t disappointed about Kaneki not telling him things, he was disappointed that Kaneki decided tocut Hide out of his life.
The relationship between Kaneki and Hide is absolutely fascinating and one of the most difficult and simultaniously easiest to understand. On the surface level, they are great friends that would stick up for each other no matter what, people that treasure the other like an old photograph; something you never want to lose or forget.
And it seems wonderful, who wouldn’t want to have a friend like Kaneki who is humble and thankful, and all-around just a-okay with whatever you want to do? And who wouldn’t want to have someone like Hide, who doesn’t mind how bad it makes him look to protect someone who is getting bullied? They invest a lot, don’t they? Kaneki takes whatever Hide throws at him, even though it might make him uncomfortable - like socialising, being loud, obnoxious, easy to notice. And Hide sticks up for Kaneki and acts like his personal guard dog, biting off anyone who tries to chew him out. They act like two sides of the same coin.
That seems like a great relationship to have, and it is certainly one of the deepest bonds that Tokyo Ghoul features. Kaneki’s feelings for Hide are real, his inner turmoil is real, his desire to see him again and his wish to turn back time and do things differently is real. It’s all real.
And Hide never had any real need to protect Kaneki, to stand up for him, to stick to him like gum no matter what Kaneki did. But he did so anyway. And his desire to protect Kaneki is there even now. Scarecrow is still looking out for Kaneki like it is a ritual that one cannot forget to do. We see Scarecrow during Kaneki’s rampage as dragon for a reason.
The problem is - their relationship is imbalanced in multiple ways, like basically every relationship in Tokyo Ghoul is. It’s realistic in that way. It’s a friendship that is as much the bandaid on a wound as it is the knife that draws blood.
Because Kaneki and Hide hinder each other at growing in any particular way.
Neither Hide nor Kaneki are people that want to invest irreplaceable importance into relationships. That is to say, both of them do their very best, throughout years, to never let the other into their personal bubble.
The difference between the two? Hide is a cunning little curios cat who doesn’t mind to stick his nose into things that do not concern him, while Kaneki is the one who cuts people out of his life should they overstep his boundaries.
Kaneki cuts off anyone who tries to get close, Hide gets close without others noticing while keeping all of his cards to himself.
So, naturally, Hide would know that Kaneki does exactly that; that Kaneki is known to keep people out of his life if he becomes uncomfortable with the lack of emotional distance that one might want to pursue with him. Hide is so perceptive, he knows exactly when Kaneki is lying.
If he knows this now (’now’ being Chapter 118 of the original TG) he knew this years beforehand, too. Kaneki, who loves books, has always been an open book for Hide. Why would Hide be interested in how Kaneki played the lead role in a play? He isn’t excited about him getting the role, he is excited about Kaneki, a mellow and shy kid, being able to get pushed into a certain direction by someone else; in this case, playing a role that he isn’t cut out for.
That does not mean that Hide has any malicious intent in becoming friends with Kaneki though. Rather, it simply means that Hide realises how easy of a friendship this could be for the both of them, as he is very similar to Kaneki when it comes to not showing emotional weakness to people that could use it against you. Which makes Ken into the perfectfriend that Hide could wish for! Kaneki, being someone who isn’t used to friendships, wouldn’t mind someone like Hide approaching him as long as he gains something from it - and here, he gains companionship for the low price of nothing.
Hide invests everything into this relationship when it comes to actions. Hide approached Kaneki when they were little, Hide is the one who supports him every step of the way, Hide is the one who brings Kaneki along to go to places, Hide is the one who keeps an eye on Kaneki long after Ken abandoned him and the Anteiku crew.
Hide is Kaneki’s crutch and is entirely comfortable with this position, as it allows mutual profit for the both of them without the possibility of exposing the weakest parts of yourself. Kaneki doesn’t talk about his past, Hide doesn’t talk about his past. They accept each other as they are and Hide gains someone who relies on him, while Kaneki gains someone who protects him. The only catch in this friendship?
Don’t expose your inner demons.
But this is where Hide sticking his nose into the business of other people comes into play. As I said before, Hide knows that Kaneki abandons people who overstep boundaries. So Hide oversteps boundaries without Kaneki’s knowledge. He gains information, peace of mind without exposing his own flaws. So Hide doesn’t care about Kaneki not telling him things (despite his claim of that being not true), because Hide can figure these things out on his own.
Why does he tell Touka that Kaneki should have told him, then? He’s not showing that mellow side of his the moment he looks at Touka again, he’s being his normally loud, obnoxious self. “Man, Kaneki should have told me about these things, ugh!”
Touka doesn’t know that Hide is extremely perceptive. How can he know that? Because he tells Touka something that is extremely obvious to him, but she doesn’t know precisely: The fact that Kaneki carries an extreme amount of secrets with him anywhere he goes. And his advice to her? Get him to spill all those secrets.
Hide sure as hell wouldn’t ask Kaneki about them himself. On the sole basis that it would endanger their friendship - he kept his mouth shut for years about all the things he knew.
We don’t know much about Hide, but I’m pretty sure it’s safe to say that
he and Kaneki both lack a well developed sense of comfort and a healthy way of socialising when it comes
to other people. They both have severe abandonement issues that make
them act like magnets that switch their polarization constantly.
They want friendship without all the dangers that comes with it, which is why their relationship functions so swimmingly up until a certain point - they can bask in all the light that friendships bring without ever having to go out of their comfort zone. They enable each other in the worst of ways, hindering their own personal growth because they just go along with all the unhealthy behaviours that the other person partakes in.
Hide KNOWS that Kaneki is lying and says nothing. Kaneki KNOWS that Hide sticks to him no matter what other people say and abandons him anyway. Because maybe. Just maybe. That trust could be exploited.
What leads Hide to actually spill the beans about how much he knows? Kaneki being in a life or death situation. Hide is as unlikely to move towards exposing parts of himself as Kaneki is, it takes A LIFE OR DEATH SITUATION to get them to TALK THINGS OUT.
And they should have noticed that sooner, that no matter what happens, they could rely on each other. But they don’t. Hide doesn’t trust that Kaneki is truthful with him, Kaneki doesn’t trust Hide enough to be sure he would never abandon him.
So, why is this friendship still something that hinders both of them from growing, if they reach a mutual understanding?
Because after this lovely conversation up there, nothing about these issues has changed. At all. It could have, but it didn’t - because Kaneki thought (and still thinks!) that he killed Hide.
Which rendered any sort of development that the two could have gone through mute.
Because now that Kaneki decided to let someone in for once he immediately ended up regretting so because he thinks he killed the one person that would have stuck by him no matter what.
And Hide? That f*cker is alive and dandy, just a bit rusty in the vocal area. He knows how Kaneki functions, what sort of person Ken is and how many downfalls Kaneki had to endure. Hide knows full well that Kaneki is someone who blames himself for all the wrong things and puts all the blame away from him for all the wrongdoings that he should shoulder himself.
And Hide could ease Kaneki from that pain of thinking he killed him, but instead he decides that going into hiding and dressing up like a sweet costume for halloween is a great idea. And yes, he still looks out for Kaneki, but instead of trusting that being open about what happened is the right idea, he takes any sort of way to ease your mind and live with your wrongdoings away from Kaneki.
Hide has NEVER tried to better Kaneki’s habit of self-blame and self-destruction, he enabled it by making sure Kaneki never had to deal with tough decisions; Hide always did those for him. Kaneki couldn’t stand up for himself? Then Hide did so for him. Kaneki wanted to lie? Then he was allowed to lie.
And now, Hide is taking the decision on how to live with the demons that you let out away from him.
But what good did that do?
What did that accomplish for Kaneki?
…Kaneki doesn’t want to make the same mistake, twice.
Losing the most important person isn’t an option anymore.
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Hi! I want to start a bullet format observation journal (or something along those lines), but I'm worried it'll lump me further into the looney category, since I'm already a four-cats-and-five-fountain-pens sort of person. But a blank notebook collection would make more sense if it was a little less blank, right? (Yes, I'm clearly and shamelessly fishing for support here.)
My dear sweet individual! If the looney-train has sailed, then I’m afraid it has sailed, and you may as well accept it and embrace it. Would it help if you thought about yourself more as an eccentric? Mysterious, whimsical, singular, living in a shuttered old house with your charming cats, accumulating delectable curios and baubles? Think of the amusing tales the local children will tell! Start wearing peculiar hats! The world is the mollusc of your choice, my dear creature, and there is no time to be worrying about what others may think of one. If you want to use a book for a purpose then you must do it, and if you want 52 different shades of green ink then by gods you shall have them.