cat burglary

Consider: FAHC Gavin being a Parkour artist. Now hear me out, he’s younger when he learns, yeah, and maybe its building off his gymnastics+ballet lessons, and he’s learning the ropes, getting his rhythm, eating shit, constantly.

Absolutely eating shit. All the goddamn time. Face meets pavement, meets that poor old lady he didn’t see, meets metal pole, meets concrete. His nose he just gives up on, he worried he’s gonna have to get prosthetic teeth, he breaks his arms and wrists and ankles so much the hospitals known him by name no ID required. But he gets good. Really good. YouTube good.

And then he discovers he can code too, so hacking, free-running, he’s like ‘I’m the most unlikely damn video game character ever but whatever, here I am.’ And he expands his skills, decides to put both of his skills to use. Hacks into and disables a security system, sneaks into the convenience store and is out through the vents before the cashier comes back from the bathroom. And on like this. Thief, Hacker, Parkour Artist.


Now, cut ahead. He moves to LS, Burnie sees the untapped potential in this kid, and Geoff takes him under wing but for hacking, not for his thievery skills, not for his parkour, just hacking, so he falls off it, doesn’t need to use it, never ends up doing it in front of the crew BC its exhausting and unnecessary. Until, one day, Gavin takes the piss out of Ryan just a wee bit too well.

Gavin’s running through the penthouse giggling like an asshole with Ryan, irate, lovely Ryan, tearing ass after him. And Gavin’s cornered suddenly. The only out is an open window. Ryan’s advancing, seething with anger, the rest of the crew is sure Gavin’s gonna get the shit kicked out of him. Serves the bitch right too. But does he? Nah. Gavin twists, shoves his body through the window, There’s a balcony ledge he stands up on, and praising muscle memory to high heavens he looks back at Ryan, who’s less angry now and more dawning understanding mixed with outright concern, flashes a crooked smile and swan dives.


Seconds pass. Ryan’s gaping. The Crew is gaping. Michael is three seconds away from an actual aneurysm. The crew, Geoff in the forefront, runs to the window. They look down. Nothing. No English dickhead pancake on the concrete below. Absolutely nothing. And then, Gavin, dear fuckhead, swings over spiderman style from the lower floor’s balcony to the one directly besides it. Gracefully. Like he knows what the fuck he’s doing, very, very well. He looks back. the crew is still gaping. Geoff’s brain is broke. It can’t be. Gavin’s a clumsy dickweed who can’t even walk without falling over himself.

Gavin grins. Ever the showman, he shouts. “You ain’t seen nothing yet!” And parkours up to the roof of the penthouse, with much acrobatic nonsense. A lot of fanfare. He’s showy, that Gavin. The Crew, finally, erupts.

“OH MY GOD.” is the general consensus. Followed by “HOW THE HELL DID YOU DO THAT.” Ray takes his hoodie’s hood off as a sign of respect for his new found Parkour brethren. Gavin shrugs, parkours his way back down, the crew grabs his shirt and yanks him back into the safety of the penthouse before letting him speak. “I learned back in England.” Gavin says.

The crew is baffled. “Why did you never tell me?!” Geoff demands. “You never asked.” Gavin replies, relishing in the awe. “I’m not to bad at a cheeky bit of cat burglary either.”

“Oh my god, you JACKASS. Gavin I will crack your skull open if you ever do that again without warning me.” Ryan says. Gavin grins at him. “You’ll have to catch me first.”

Yeah. So, Imagine that.

some of my favourite things of Let’s Play Minecraft since its been 200 episodes:

- Michael not knowing how to play Minecraft for the first 30 episodes, and finally figuring it out.

- Ryan’s many cat burglary attempts on Geoff’s Farming and Mercantile Shops.

- Geoff’s Farming And Mercantile Shops/ Geoff’s Surf and Mercantile Shop/ Geoff’s Farming and Mercantile Shop: Nether Location in general.

- “I need flint.” “Flynt Coal?”/ “I need some coal.” “Flynt Coal?”

- Ryan The “Animal” Guy. Edgar, Edgar II, Edgar III, Prince Oinkins.

- Baby Dray-gon.

- Ray, before he basically was so done with minecraft. Conrad the chicken, Percival the Ocelot, Pat the Head.

- Monopoly.

- Jack winning episode 100.

- The X-Ray and Vav theme song on a note block.

- Team Nice Dynamite, Team Love N Stuff, R&R Connection, Team Better Friends, Team OG, Team Gents, Team Lads, Plan G, Team Nice Dyna-Meat, Team Crazy Mad, Team Angry Fat.

- Princeton the sheep.

- Achievement City, even when it was broken and bare of minerals and animals.

- Plan G. Never forget.

- That time when they were spending some time cleaning up the Lake of Pimps only to be hit by a Tornado.

- Being a little sad watching Ray walk into Do Not Enter, but immediately laughing as they all started demolishing his house.

- LIIIIIIIIIIILLLLLLLLLLLL J!!

- Gavin getting VERY uncomfortable with everyone calling Jeremy “Mr. J.”

- Where the fuck is Dark God Ryan?

I’m sure there’s more.

When it comes to cat burglary, Sebastian Kyle was the man to go to. Not only was he the best around, he was the best period. Nobody could out-thief him, even if they tried all of their best tactics. He already knew all the tricks of the trade and even invented some of them himself. She was always quick, efficient and, if he had to get into a fight, he was more than skilled enough to beat you down and make you want to come back for seconds all at the same time. Maybe it had something to do with his outfit and how it showed him and all of his assets off. His ass was the biggest and best feature on him. It wasn’t ridiculously huge but it was large and thick enough to make you do a triple take. The skin-tight outfit didn’t serve to hide anything. Maybe that’s why Bruce kept coming back to him. He could say that he was ‘trying to foil him’ but they both knew that was a bunch of bullshit.

“I was wondering when you were gonna show up, Batman. You’re getting too slow. I’ve been waiting for the past fifteen minutes for you to show up. Has Daddy come to play with his little kitten or is he still trying to play the big bad bat again?”

Fiction Prompt: Dark Angel AU

Derek and his brothers and sisters escaped Manticore, the science lab where they were created and trained to be perfect soldiers, ten years ago. Unfortunately in the process they got separated and Derek (call number X571) ended up alone in post-EMP blast California. He’s been looking for his family ever since, but searching the country for kids with barcodes tattooed on their necks without drawing the wrong kind of attention takes some serious cash. So Derek supplements his income by putting his genetic gifts to use with a little night time cat burglary. That is until he breaks into the wrong loft and runs into Stiles, a rich trust fund baby with two useless legs and a mission. The kid targets mafia bosses and corrupt politicians in his spare time with his untraceable broadcast Streaming Freedom. He’s got connections Derek can use and a habit that’s going to get him killed if someone doesn’t watch out for him. So Derek takes on the role of bodyguard in exchange for help locating his family. That’s all it is though, a mutually beneficial arrangement, it’s not like Derek likes the kid or anything, nope not at all.

AU suggestion

Bad Bob Zimmermann is a master thief. Jack has to wrestle with his father’s legacy of cat burglary, and becomes a Robin Hood-esque figure, robbing only those who he figures will not be significantly hurt by this. When stealing the famous Knight Sapphire, he meets Beauchamp Knight, who wants to rebel against his parents and begs to join him in his quest. Slowly their band of thieves grows, until they run up against Agents Eric Bittle and Larissa Duan, the FBI agents dedicated to catching them and stopping them once and for all.

2

Ryan + cat burglary

GEOFF: Well that was the strangest thing I’ve ever seen.
RAY: What happened?
GEOFF: I was just talking to you and suddenly a guy fell out of the sky.

-

GEOFF: Sorry Michael, I was dealing with the fact that once again, completely and totally randomly-
MICHAEL: Ryan stealing shit?
GEOFF: Very luckily caught Ryan.

ok but

imagine little baby street kid emerald with nowhere to go and nobody to look after her, just wandering from shelter to shelter and village to village with whatever pocket change she can find or pick

then imagine her running into this scraggly little cat faunus with a bloody nose and scraped knees from running away from an encounter with humans gone badly

imagine emerald using all her money (not a lot) to buy band aids and food for them to split

imagine them laughing and running around together for like a week before a white fang member comes and hauls the other girl away from emerald and takes her back “home”

imagine emerald, years later, recognizing the other girl immediately, despite seven years gone and a black bow to cover up her ears

imagine emerald being stuck between relief and sadness when blake doesn’t recognize her too

2

Miraculous: Tales of Ladybug and Cat Noir
Upcoming Air Dates on Nickelodeon

Sunday, January 3rd: “Copycat”
When Cat Noir becomes a burglary suspect, Ladybug must find a way to prove his innocence.

Sunday, January 10th: “The Pharaoh”
When a young historian gets akumatized into the Pharaoh, he plans to bring an ancient Egyptian princess back to life by sacrificing Alya; Ladybug and Cat Noir must face an army of mummies.

The One Where Felicity’s Services Are For Hire, 1124 words, rated PG. After being hired by a mysterious stranger, Felicity meets her new team for the first time.

Felicity was the first to arrive at the meeting location. She wished it had been by design, but really, she’d overestimated the amount of traffic and sitting in her car outside of an abandoned warehouse had felt foolish. Why did they always pick places like this? Sure, they had a chance of being overheard in a coffee shop, but coffee shops also had the advantage of having, you know, coffee. And free wifi, usually.

Inside, the team leader had set up a little area for the team to meet, ringed in plastic picnic tables. I take it back about not having coffee, she thought, staring at a very fancy espresso machine. An array of pastries had been laid out very fastidiously, a white board had been set up, and a table in the middle held seven blue folders. The entire thing combined the cold atmosphere of abandoned property with the efficient feeling of a board room.

“Miss Smoak, I presume,” said a voice, and a man slipped out of the shadows. She didn’t shriek, though it was a near thing. “I apologize if I startled you.”

“No, no, it’s okay, I’m used to men coming out of dark, creepy corners like that. Happens all the time.”

The man gave her a reserved smile and held out a hand. “I’m sure. Walter Steele, at your service. I’m pleased you could join us today.”

Keep reading

Introducing the hot new summer film: The Great Cat Burglary! 

When their owners leave for vacation, the brothers Bucky and Sparky have a party and invite all the neighborhood’s cats- only to discover that there’s no food left in the pantry! Not one to disappoint his friends, Bucky sets off on a quest to a dark and spooky cat food factory with his brother, and a girl named Cindy tags along to help. They discover that there’s a jackpot of cat food ready, but to get it, they need to get to the center of the factory, and the whole place is riddled with dangerous machinery and savage guard dogs. Can Bucky overcome his fear of loud things and save the day?

Considering that he’s a cat probably not

take this hellish lackluster movie pitch and behold it to your audience

It had taken a few years, and a lot of broken bones, but Batman’s improbable non-lethality slowly drifted from sarcastic theory to accepted law. And walking back to his basement apartment from what turned out to be a nearly fatal cat burglary — rain and high windows proving a losing combination — this member of Gotham’s criminal element made a crucial connection: being Batman’s enemy was the safest job around.