cat breading if you say so

i was at the table eating food with my family and us children were all telling jokes to each other and i was like yknow what? im gonna bring out my classic joke. so im like “hey robbie how do you make a pure-bread cat,” and then i say “put a little wheat and flour on it” and he didnt get it so quietly im like “damnit that joke went right over your head” and then i realize i cursed and im not supposed to do that and i start internally panicking and my little cousin is like “[LARS] SAID A BAD WORD!!!!” and shes notorious for lying and im notorious for not lying and her mom says “am i supposed to believe you, someone who tries to get [him] in trouble all the time” and on the inside im like fuck yeah because i just escaped a situation without doing a single damn thing

We’ve fostered a LOT of cats over the years, so here’s an incomplete list of weird cats we’ve had:

1. An Abyssinian that would jump from the second story banister to land perfectly, and with utter grace, onto your shoulder when you enter our house on the first story (ok, but imagine a cat leaping onto you, it’s terrifying)

2. Satan (her real name is Cassandra) who will only sleep if she is completely under the covers and tucked in

3. Elena, a Kurilian Bobtail, that was so affectionate it bordered on harassment. She would climb your leg for you to pet her and follows people around the house

4. Osiris, a Chausie, that actually plays fetch. No joke. He also responds if you say his name, and has been on the news 6 times so far, in various different cities

5. Dolly, who we actually taught to roll over and sit on command for chicken tenders

6. The kitten that decided to travel down one of the heat vents in our home and my father had to take 3 feet of drywall out to retrieve him

7. One of the cats (still not sure which) managed to eat the insides of a full package of sausage rolls left on the counter but left the bread part totally intact

8. two years after re-homing Lemon the cat, we found her stash of tape dispensers under our living room couch. There were 26 tape dispensers

9. one of the cat’s we re-homed likes to go kayaking with his new human. He has a cat life vest and everything 

moments that definitely happened to me but definitely didn’t feel real

- playing volleyball at four am in a church parking lot with teenagers dancing to irish folk music

- running alongside a family of deer. also in that parking lot

- luring a mouse into a butterfly net using only the sound of my voice

- hearing the YMCA song blasted in an almost empty banquet hall at work at midnight with a piece of stolen garlic bread in my mouth

- those fuckin. six months when everyone thought i worked on steven universe

- when my aunt got a new cat that hated everyone and everything and i was sitting on her couch and joked that “i’m not like some cat whisperer or anything i can’t help you” and as i was saying that it crawled into my lap and fell asleep

- that one time at camp when i was like “watch this” and fuckin fell to the ground to catch a snake

- getting asked to do a voice for a horror game because my friend knew a guy so i was like “lol sure” and sent him stuff i recorded and then one day the game just fell out of existence ? got cancelled or something? nobody is talking about it anymore and i’m almost convinced it didn’t exist in the first place ? nothing shows up when i google it

- staying overnight in an actual literal abandoned church and the only thing in the kitchen was a meat grinder and i stg i wish i was making that up

Look what the cat dragged in - Taeyong/Ten

Group: NCT U
Members: Taeyong + Ten
Genre: Smut, threesome
Warnings: sexual content!, threesome, oral, facial

you can find the request here

You squinted your eyes at the yellow ones that were looking back into yours. You were not going to back down, but he just kept staring at you without blinking. You felt your eyes dehydrate and they started to sting. The uncomfortable feeling was too much and you couldn’t help but blink. The cat meowed triumphant.

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EXO: Sehun fluff/angst


exo-can: Ups & Downs | 

an-exotic-writerLet’s Stay Like This | “Really.” | Ice Skating Adventure | Affections | Always | Assurance | At Least | As Many As You Want | Goodnight | Happy Birthday | This Apology | Strictly Mine | Our Baby Boy | Me As A Man | Protecting My Noona | You Could’ve Asked | Freezing Hot |

writewhatyoulove: Every Day | I Return Once More To That White Season | See You Tomorrow? | Balloon | Endearing | Yin Yang |

palpitate-hyperventilateScintilla |

exoticarmy127: Rule Breakers |

everlasting-scenes: Day Off ft. Suho & Kris | 

dreamsthroughthewindow: Prince Charming |

deercarrot: Soccer ft. Luhan & Lay | Sleep |

causekpop: Je Ne Sais Pas | HBS - Bubble |

onlylovekpop: My Answer |

chan-chanyeol: Abrupt | Allure | Ardent | Cozen | Fated | Insomnia | Overheat | Revel | Snare |

thesammtimesJealousy | Finals | Promise | Just What You Need | New Year’s Eve | Snapchat |

exobtsimagination:So This is Love | Winter | Exhausted |

baebsaesClassWatching the Sky Fall |

cha-bread:Fear | Cats And Dogs |

sehuns-bubble-txe:One Day | Just Hold Me | A While Now | Not -so-Secret Date | Practically Perfect

universitykpop: Everything Has Changed |

keypea: Covet | Redamancy | Sempiternal | TFLN | What’s Your Poison? | Bang the Drum |


fabdolous: You’re Just A Child | 

an-exotic-writer: Temporary Dream | The One That Got Away |

writewhatyoulove: Stars |

chan-chanyeol: Burden | Furtive | Hearten | Invasive | Miscalculations | Limbo |

exobtsimagination: My Personal Angel | You Deserve Better | Not Again |  But What If? | A Missing Mate | Second Glance | Don’t wake Me | *Trigger Warning (Suicidal Thoughts)* Switch |

onlylovekpop:When You Fight |

sehuns-bubble-txe:Fortunately Intoxicated | Walking Away | Always Be the One

keypea: Silver | Mortem | Chemicals |

  • sso: so for pets you can of course have dogs, cats and rabbits
  • me: oh nice i love pets
  • sso: but we also have a little more exotic pets like frogs and seals
  • me: sorry did you say frogs?
  • sso: also a teddybear
  • me: how cute-
  • sso: and also some bread and cooking supplies
  • me: what now
  • sso: don't forget this sentient gnome and a literal rainbow!
  • me: ?????

ishipsuper  asked:

Supercat. AU where Kara and Cat meet because of Carter trick or treating in a new neighborhood??

“Mom, please!” Carter hangs on her elbow, tugging for emphasis. His eyes are wide and pleading, somewhat her childhood dog did while asking for scraps at the dinner table. Whenever her mother wasn’t looking, she’d slip him a piece of bread. Now, faced with Carter’s brand of puppy-dog-pout, she feels the same old inability to say no overwhelming her.

“You’ll have nightmares.”

He shrugs. “So?”

“So, you want to sleep in my bed when you do, and you’re getting too big.”

“Get a bigger bed,” he replies, a hint of a smirk tugging on his lips. “I don’t understand why you have such a small one.”

She doesn’t tell him that the extra space gives her anxiety; instead she tweaks his cheek. “We didn’t always have money, sweetheart. It’s nice to have a reminder of how far we’ve come.”

“Come on.” He’s whining, which she definitely should not encourage. She ought to say no.

Keep reading

Me and You

Gif not mine

Hello my friends, I told you Natasha was next and so Natasha is here. This probably sucks and Natasha is probably written out of character but oh well what are ya going to do. This was inspired by some of my own experiences through understanding my own sexuality so I hope you all enjoy!

Word Count: 2160

“Code Red!”  You frantically text your roommate, Natasha. The phone rested on your thigh under the table occupying one hand as you rest your chin in the other. Putting on a happy smile, you listen as your date Lane rambles on about his ‘fantastic’ job as a Podiatrist, glancing down occasionally. This was the fifth date in the last three months that had gone horribly wrong, and you were quickly losing hope in finding love. Lane was a nice guy, he was handsome and smart and as Natasha like to put in “was so fucking rich that nothing else mattered” However there was no spark, no butterflies, nothing, just an awkward one-sided chat about feet.

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If George was his baby brother, was John his big brother? McCartney smiles, causing crinkles to arc downwards from his hazel eyes. ‘Yes, definitely, although not in the Orwellian sense. John was older than me and, in the good sense of the phrase, he was a big brother. He was a lovely guy. But we were very competitive. Looking back on it, I think it’s…’ He purses his lips. ‘It’s awkward. You don’t always say to people what you mean to say to them when they are alive. And with John, we had a guy relationship, loving each other without saying it. We never looked at each other and said, “I love you,” but people would ask us, “What do you think of the rest of the Beatles?” and we would say, “I love them.” So we knew indirectly, peripherally. We were brothers. Family. Like an Irish family. It’s not unusual to get brothers fighting, but we did it in the spotlight – everyone got to look at the O’Malleys arguing. We gave and took a few good blows. But with John, we made it up by the time he died and I was very thankful for that. We were talking normally about baking bread. And cats – he was a cat man. He would talk about going round his apartment in his “robe” as he called it by then, dressing-gown to us. So, ordinary stuff.’
—  Paul McCartney, interview w/ Nigel Farndale for Telegraph Magazine. (June 15th, 2002)
Completely random sentence starters

“I don’t care what you say until you admit that aliens do exist”

“The bread never comes out loaf-shaped”

“I can’t wait to go to sleep tonight”

“The sun could have died just then and we wouldn’t know for eight minutes”

“I still think pigeons have their own language”

“When were these walls painted?”

“Where do you keep the cereal?”

“To be honest I just like to piss people off”

“I possibly just fell in your garden pond”

“So is that your cat or do I need to adopt him?”

“Well I did text you that at 7:39 on September 19th”

“Do you think cars know they’re cars?”

anonymous asked:

Tell me ur fav things

the way it gets in the morning when it’s snowing softly and the whole world is muted and a soft color and the branches are frozen and hanging over me. the way the boy in my chemistry class smiled at me when he gave me a pencil last week. when I wake up on the weekends and go upstairs and all my siblings say my name super happy and give me hugs. having a cup of coffee with my mom. the minute after finishing a really good workout when I’m still so tired but also full of energy. climbing into bed after a really long day and my cats cuddle with me and the blankets are warm. my best friend. making bread. crying during a really good sad movie. just being like, genuinely happy in a really beautiful moment I guess

raphael openly following simon on twitter just to post cryptic things about betrayal and heart simon’s tweets even tho it’s nothing but boring shit like a picture of a cat he passed in an alley or bits of original lyrics

anonymous asked:

Guardian Angel!Shaw and Human!Root, where Root has a fascination with Shaw’s wings.

This one was fun and delightful. Slightly NSFW though. Most is underneath the cut. 

“Well,” Root says, smiling as Shaw walks into the subway, “back from heaven, are we?”

              Shaw sighs. They couldn’t’ve assigned her a more annoying human being if they tried, but she won’t admit that Root’s been growing on her the past year. Even if she does stroke Shaw’s wings when they’re in bed together, when Shaw chooses to show them.

              “Can’t go there yet,” Shaw says, unlocking her locker at the back of the subway and changing into a tank top. “I haven’t died, or been called back.” She takes a half-cold protein shake from one of the shelves and downs half of it. “Clearly I’m doing something right.”

              “Or your higher deities take amusement in watching this play out.”

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machereamour  asked:

hi i also would like to yell about my modern soc pet hc. inej,for starters: shes reserved, smart and sneaky. i suggest a stray cat with a brownish pelt that survived the ketterdam streets. it's healthy and has scars but is otherwise in great shape. to her the cat would be a support. if/when the cat dies, inej will get another cat, like the one she had b4, but it's rescued. its got scars too but they bond immediately. ive got more though i think you need to message me bc i will blow up your inbox

oh my gooooDDD YES

  • ok so…all the dregs live in the same apartment building in kind of a crappy neighborhood
  • so inej only takes in strays
    • she found the cat on her fire escape
    • it takes her weeks of gentle coaxing and leaving out water and kibble to convince the cat to let her pet it
    • what can she say, she’s dedicated to this little stray. she can relate. 
    • sometimes there’s a gloved hand dropping bread or for the crows
  • kaz has a coop on the roof 
    • he’s that weird guy ok
    • you’d think he has crows
    • nah man
    • he’s got a falcon like one of those trained falcons that wear the masks? yea
    • he does sit on the fire escape and feed the crows though and he sees a beautiful girl with a cat sometimes
  • matthias has a HUGE dog
    • the thing looks like a wolf and the whole building isnt entirely sure it isnt
    • he takes it for runs in the morning and people will legitimately cross the street when they see him coming
    • honestly wouldnt you he’s a huge thor-looking dude with a white wolf
  • nina also has a cat
    • hers is a kitten she found on the street, not nearly as scraggly and mean as inej’s 
    • speaking of, she’s the one who gave inej the kibble to lure her cat in 
    • matthias and nina are always butting heads because he saw a very similar cat scratch his dog and blames nina, thinking it was her’s
    • …she still sits on the fire escape with her tea in time to see him finish his run though
  • jesper has a really hyper terrier type dog
    • so much energy oh my god 
    • its got one of those yipping barks that everyone hates and in the morning when he’s getting ready to take it for a walk that lil dog is going o f f 
    • he’s the kind of pet owner where his dog goes everywhere with him ok and the dog always gets his leftovers
  • wylan does not have pets
    • wylan moved in with kuwei, who he used to take chemistry tutoring with, after he just couldnt take living with his father anymore
    • kuwei and wylan have set off the fire alarm no less than six times but no one can prove it was their fault so miraculously they havent been evicted
    • wylan practices his flute every morning and is always interrupted by the barking of a dog across the hall and one of these days he’s gonna march over there and give their neighbor a piece of his mind
    • kuwei, not looking up from his book: yea ok you do that buddy
    • when wylan finally does it doesnt go well be oh no he’s hot

ok that’s all i got but like….blow up my inbox please this is so pure

dukeoftheblackstar  asked:

Me, me, me please! I'd like to see a Paul and John in an argument and are giving each other the silent treatment, except Paul had actually gone busy making a meal for them both (John doesn't know Paul's making him one too). So John proceeds to indirectly throw shots at Paul and inadvertently hurt Paul's feelings. So Paul leaves (only to buy some bread / additional food) and John feels furious thinking Macca just up and left. So he paces all aggressively and starts cursing and what have you. (1/2

(2/2) But then Paul comes back all saddened and John just ruts him out. And ends up impatiently waiting for Paul to explain himself and Paul just says he bought John some bread to go with Paul’s cooking because he feels shite for upsetting John and John feels like such a turd for hurting poor Paul and proceeds to pepper him with love ;—-; By love I mean, trying to be cute and sorry at the same time to Paul McPouty lips

so specific! i like it. its not very long because im actually at work (oops should be working and im writing mclennon) i hope i did a good enough job for you, mate! xo


“I just don’t understand why you thought that was a good idea!” John was angry. He had been pacing around the sitting room as Paul sat on his chair. “I didn’t do anything wrong, John.” Paul argued in a much calmer tone than his boyfriend’s. “You’re so daft sometimes, McCartney. What if she hadn’t come back?” He held onto his beloved cat for dear life as he paced in front of the younger man. “She came back!” Paul pointed at Pyramus. Paul was always more of a dog person, and having one meant letting them outside. He didn’t realize cats would just run away and never come back.

“She’s a cat, Paul. Not a dog. She’s not trained to just come back!” John yelled and carried on some more. Paul just rolled his eyes as he stood up. “Right, Macca. Just ignore me then.” John sat down on the couch, stroking the cat protectively. “I’m done talking to you today anyroad.” John said with a growl in his voice that even made Pyramus look up at him with a bit of fear in her eyes. Paul rolled his big eyes once again and went into the kitchen. He knew John was rightfully pissed off at him, but that didn’t mean John needed to be so cruel with his words. Paul decided he would fix them dinner as an apology, perhaps that would make John forgive him for his nonsensical act.

Paul got right to work, busy as a bee as he started preparing their dinner. It would be a simple spaghetti dinner with Paul’s famous homemade vegetarian tomato sauce. He was chopping away at the vegetables, when he decided to put the knife down and peak his head out at John to see if he was still boiling with anger. “John?” He called his boyfriend in a soft voice. “Bugger off, Paul. I don’t even want to look at you right now.” He snapped back without looking up from the cat, still happily perched in his owner’s arms. “Don’t be like that..” Paul sighed, hoping  John would look up and see his large sad eyes. Unfortunately, he didn’t. “I’ll be however I want to be, considering you just do whatever the hell you want anyway, right? Act like a bloody git sometimes, you do.” John growled back. Paul sighed deeply again before deciding perhaps John just needed a bit more space from him for now. He went into the kitchen and turned off the stove, not wanting to burn their flat down.

He headed down the street to the local bakery that Paul admired so much. It was always so fresh and the employees were always extremely kind. John on the other hand, put the cat down on the couch and stood up when he heard the front door of their flat open and close. Paul’s shoes were gone. John was even more upset now. Maybe he had been too harsh on Paul.. After all, he was just trying to help take care of poor Pyramus. “Such an idiot, Lennon.” He cursed at himself as he paced back and forth in front of the small cat now. “Makin’ him fuckin’ sad,  now he’s gone off somewhere to pout.” John crossed his arms and looked out the window. “Oh.” He sighed in relief when he saw his boyfriend approaching the front door with a bag from the bakery.

When the front door opened, John stood across the room to welcome him. Paul did look sad. His bottom lip looked even more pouty and plump than usual. “Paul,” John tried to say. “I’m sorry I made you leave.. I’m sorry I got so upset.. You were only tryin’ t'help..” He walked closer to the younger man as he set the bakery bag down on the table.“I just went t'get some bread, John.” He didn’t look up at his boyfriend as he spoke the words though. His voice sounded soft and tired. “Talk to me, baby.” John put his hands on Paul’s hips. “I just feel terrible, y'know? Ye love that cat. I’m making dinner, y'know. Tryin’ t'make it up t'you.” Paul said, his lip still out and pouting. “Yer so sweet t'me, ‘n I’m a right arse.” John kisses Paul’s cheek softly.

As he presses his lips to Paul’s cheek, he felt a small smile spread across the bassist’s face. John smiled too, and began kissing him all over his face, muttering “I’m sorry, baby” and “Forgive me, princess” between the kisses. Paul finally started giggling and pushed him off slightly. “I forgive you, Lennon. Now shove off, I’ve got t'finish making dinner.” He said with a smile before placing a single kiss on John’s lips and pushing passed him and back over to the kitchen counter to finish chopping the vegetables. John grinned and walked up behind him, wrapping his arms around Paul’s slim waist and resting his chin on Paul’s shoulder. “If ye make me cut me finger off, we’re goin’ t'have a whole other problem, baby.” Paul told him as he rested his head on top of John’s.

“I’m hungry.” John whined a bit. “That’s why I’m makin’ dinner.” Paul rolled his eyes and let out a small chuckle. “I’m hungry for Paul McCartney!” John began kissing the younger man’s neck again. “Paul McCartney is up for dessert, Lennon.”

The Wolf Nods To The Bear

Everyone and everything

Every word has been spoken.
Every story told
Every note in every progression
loops through the centuries.

We write the same lines
We speak the same fables
We sing at the top of our

And we don’t give a fuck
what others think

that’s the difference

between tradition
and delusion

Get enough people to follow
who sing in chorus

Drown the bullshit out
Drown out the couplets
and the ramblings of those
who would rather throw bricks
through a strangers house
than clean the cat shit out of their

jelly has always had a love
hate relationship with peanut butter
because peanut butter can express
things jelly doesn’t have
the nuts for, but had the grapes
to throw bricks

So we shrug and we drink and we smoke
and we are only bothered by those willing
to step out in the light, be seen, and sing
us a song we haven’t heard in a while in a different way.

unless you do that you leave us with words
already forgotten as you take your last breath.

If you write,
Bleed in every fucking phrase
Take your heart
to show and tell
let the kids who secretly want it
point and laugh
Maybe use metaphor to paint
a cleaner picture of this place
instead of worrying about the
correct shade of green

come out here
say what you mean
fuck the world
but don’t forget
to call her tomorrow

Grapes spoil
Peanut butter lasts,
like what, 50 years?
Better than a breath,
Better than just jelly
and stale bread

You do have a cat right?
Your face is covered in so much shit
I want to write the world a story
they’ve never heard

Maybe I just did.

Can someone Google it?


Special request in a roundabout way

anonymous asked:

What video? Who does that to a cat ? That's and asshole thing to do

unfortunately i can’t link it since i have the video blocked but the caption from what i’ve seen is most often a transcript of what the person is saying in the video and if you just read thru it it’s fine and seems kinda funny because most of it is just “bad kitty! asshole! give me back the bread! goddammit!” (i think the video itself is in russian?? idk) but actually watching it i hate it so much bc again that’s absolutely awful to do to any animal but the cat is obviously super upset and angry at something so it just overall feels like the person’s being not only super cruel but also just adding to what is already massive stress this animal must feel

anonymous asked:

What does Cynthias joke "How was the bread?" mean?

When John Lennon was a househusband from 1975-80 he did everything in the house, that means cooking. He baked bread for the house all the time.
Paul revealed this: They rang each other a few times during these years, and one of their conversations was:
Paul: “Hey what’re you up to?” And John would say “Oh!! I’m just baking some bread!”, Paul: “Nice! I just baked a loaf right here!”. You know, they were both really good fathers and they had plenty to talk about like “Cats, baking bread, their children, etc” They bonded over talking about these things, especially when it came about being daddies. :’) 💕
So I believe Cynthia was rather amused by that fact, due to the fact that while Julian was a small child, he was a full time musician thereby never did any cooking. Which prompted Cynthia to ask: “Was his bread any good?”

Kitty Jealously - Part 3

Part One:

Part two:

Latest fic with @tahciram​:

Hey Miraculors! I can finally say that THIS IS THE LAST PART OF KITTY JEALOUSY! *screams happily and falls off chair * It has been really busy for @inspiringnfamous and I with school work piling up and other personal commitments but IT’S FINALLY DONE! I would be lying to you if I told you that this wasn’t one of my favourite fanfictions to write because it really was. A HUGE HUG TO @inspiringnfamous FOR BEING MY PARTNER IN CRIME WITH THIS. She wrote parts when I had writers block so if you loved reading this go to her blog and send her loads of LOVE!

And thank you to everyone who reblogged, liked and commented on this fanfiction. The amount of feedback we got on the first day of Kitty Jealousy was amazing and the support was insane. This isn’t the last time we are collaborating together so @inspiringnfamous and I will defiantly have a new fanfiction out, but much later because of our exams. Anyway, thank you and we hope you enjoy the story! :) *****************************************************************************************************

If anyone had to tell Adrien a week ago that he would be kissing Marinette Dupain-Cheng ,he wouldn’t have laughed, but patted them on the back with an awkward smile. It wasn’t that the boy didn’t liked Marinette, it was just that his Lady was basically the only girl he thought about in that way. That, until he felt jealous over his Princess. The sudden feeling of comfort around her now being noticed and the urge to be near her every time he had a chance was something new.

To be honest, Ladybug didn’t crossed his mind these past few days since there wasn’t any akuma to fight ,so his thoughts and embarrassing actions were only for Marinette.

Adrien still didn’t think about his partner as he sat on Marinette’s chaise lounge, Noir sleeping beside him and Plagg eating a large piece of cheese bread from Marinette’s desk. The boy smiled, watching the beautiful girl pacing in front of them while she spoke about her ideas of how to find the cat’s owner. “Maybe some posters and flyers around the park will do the job just fine. I can design them too…” she mumbled. Adrien got up and walked towards Marinette, who was busy searching for her notebook.

The blond enveloped her in his arms from behind and nuzzled her neck. Marinette froze, her breathe caught for a moment before giggle a little. Now, if someone had told her a week ago that Adrien Agreste is in fact Chat Noir she would’ve laughed. She would’ve laughed so hard maybe she would’ve fallen over and then she had looked at them in the eyes and explained with a stern expression her many reasons of how Adrien can’t be Chat Noir. “That’s just ridiculous, after all.”

Life can be bitchy sometimes, but sweet in the weirdest ways.

Adrien turned her around to kiss her, just needing to feel her lips again. He felt his chest warm every time they were together and he loved the feeling of her in his arms. The smell of her skin make him a melt, the softness of her hands when they rest on his cheeks felt like home and he just loved it when the girl lost it all and blushes as red as a stop signal.

His eyes softened when they met hers and he started to lean in. This is right, this feels right, he want to be like this with her forever. When they were a breathe apart from Marinette’s dreams and hopes coming true once again, the girl’s brain kicked in like a train wreck and everything hit her at once.

She has been kissing Adrien.

She has been kissing ADRIEN AGRESTE.

And Adrien Agreste has been kissing HER.

In her bedroom.

At night.

Oh dear Lord, help her because she was going to faint. Marinette’s eyes widened as she put the pieces of the puzzle together. She stuttered something that sounded like an excuse as she pushed him away slightly and starting talking faster than usual.

“Oh my…are you kitten me? This whole time it has been you. How is it possible! HOW didn’t I see it before? It’s so obvious! I’m so stupid, I can’t believe it. Oh gosh, you have been hit so many times! Are you hurt? Is everything fine? How many fingers do you see?”

Adrien didn’t hear it all, or maybe he didn’t understand it, but he heard something perfect come out of Marinette’s mouth. He grinned in such a proud, amused and, maybe, mischievous way that Marinette gradually stops her babbling to look up at him with confusion in her eyes.

“You said a pun.” he cooed. Adrien’s smile widened just as fast at Marinette’s eyes did in realization.

“OH MY GOD. YOU ARE TERRIBLE.” Marinette threw her hands in the air in frustration, giving up in the boy cracking beside her.

“I can’t believe that with just a few months I got you saying a pun!”

“Who said a pun?” The small voice asked from the desk. Both teenagers turned around to see the black cat-like kwami engulfing his last piece of cheese bread.

“Marinette here said a cat pun,” Adrien smiled to Plagg as he reached over to Marinette to side hug her. “I’m so proud right now.” He wiped a non-existent tear of happiness. On the other hand, Marinette wanted to punch him in the face. Her fist was tingling for it.

“Oh for God’s sake, you corrupted the poor girl!” Plagg quickly floated over to pat the girl’s head with a soothing tiny paw.

“I suppose he did.” Marinette mumbled, annoyance laced in her words. Letting herself free from the boy’s hold she walked towards the now awake ,Noir. “I like you the most since you don’t talk. Alas, maybe if you could, you wouldn’t say shitty cat puns, right cutie?” She nose-kissed the cat with a smile as the little animal did the same, mewing.

“HEY!” Marinette heard her ‘unpleasant’ guest complaining but she didn’t pay attention to it.

“Come on, now that you are awake let’s feed you and then I’ll have a photoshoot prepared for you.” The cat mewed again, swinging his tail lazily as Marinette hold him like one should hold a baby. “Oh Gosh, you are so cute, Noir!” And she disappeared down the stairs.


The room went totally silent until…

“You screwed it… Again.”

“Can you shut up for a moment?!” Adrien blurted out, looking at his kwami with daggers already in his eyes.


Every tree. Every tree in the park has it’s own flyer. The two teenagers had been gluing and asking around for about an hour now, the cat never leaving Marinette’s side more than four seconds to sniff trees or chase after birds.

They asked the families near the carousel. They asked the families feeding the pigeons. They also asked one homeless person sitting outside the park, who knows, maybe he had a cat.

But no one had lost a cat. Some families looked interested though, since the kids petted Noir excitedly and he was more than friendly with them, but Marinette wasn’t going to just throw Noir to someone else’s hands just because they liked it.

It’s true that a little part of her wanted and actually hoped that they didn’t find the owners and she felt bad about such a selfish thought but she just took so much care into the little animal following her close behind that she didn’t think she have the heart strength to see him being taken away. She sigh, knowing that maybe there’s a little boy or girl, or just someone missing their pet and she felt a little guilty. She squat down, scooping the cat into her arms and hugging him a little and to kept walking.

Adrien started to notice the girl’s mood going down a few moments ago and he didn’t know how to come with something to make her feel better. Her little smile fainted and her beautiful eyes clouded with something that looked like concern. She kept stroking the cat’s head faster and faster and Adrien knew it was starting to annoy his nemesis. He contemplated whether he should let Noir suffer a little but changed his mind. He wasn’t that cruel,

He stopped walking and gently touched Marinette’s shoulder to get her attention.

“Okay, what is it?” He asked, concern heard in every word and a frown on his face.

“What do you mean?”

“You are just five strokes away to, either ripping the fur off his head or being bitten.”

“Oh.” She stop her hand suddenly, taking it away as if it has been burned. She looked down to see the annoyed expression of the cat and laughed nervously “I’m so sorry, Noir.”

Adrien sighed taking the animal in his hands and motioning Marinette to sit on a nearby bench. Noir, to Adrien’s surprise, curled up on his lap and began to purr.

“Talk to me, Marinette.”

“I just…” the girl trailed off, sighing and hiding her face in her hands. “I don’t think I’ll be able to just see him be taken by someone else.”

Adrien listened to the shake in her voice and he bowed his head, taking a look at the cat in his lap. It was true that Noir was kinda cute in some way. At least it wasn’t a dog, right? The soft purr made its way to his core and he wanted to purr too, feeling strangely pleasant for the first time being near Noir.

The sound coming very clearly from his inner pocket and he looked inside to be welcomed by a lazy looking kwami laying in a corner, eyes closed. The boy huffed, redirecting his attention to Marinette once again. She was now leaning back, hands on her tights and looking weary. Adrien wanted to do something, but what?

“So, tell me…” The girl looked at him, expecting whatever he had to say “Why did you called it Noir? He pointed to the sleeping cat with his finger.

Marinette’s cheeks lit up like fire trucks and her expression changed completely to a cute flustered one. Adrien smiled, well at least she wasn’t sad anymore.

“I-I… Well, is funny, it just… I thought- Oh my…” The more she tried to explain herself the more difficult was to understand her and the more amused Adrien got.

After what looked like a whole minute of babbling and strange hand gestures she finally took a deep breathe and muttered something, her hair hiding her face just a bit.

“It reminded me a lot of Chat Noir…”

The amusement on his face faded as his eyes widened in surprise. She thought about Chat Noir when she found the cat. She was thinking about HIM. She named her pet after him.

Was it good the heating feeling of pride in his chest? The smug smile now placed on his lips? The teasing tone in his voice when he talked as he stroked the cat’s back like the people in movies?

“Well well, I’m flattered that you think about me, Princess, but let me tell you that I’m obviously better looking.” Marinette’s jaw almost touched the ground. Was he making fun of her embarrassment or it was just his inner Chat taking over and shit-talking on the situation?

She didn’t know, maybe it was. She sat there thinking of different ways of how to wipe that stupid smile off his face. She thought about shouting at him while throwing her arms in surrender and stomping away, leaving him there with the cat.

“I can’t believe you just said that.”

Adrien chuckled and wrapped an arm around her shoulders and gazed at the park, which was bathed in the dying golden light of the afternoon sun. He felt a weight on his shoulder and found that the bluenette had fallen asleep. He smiled but sighed. Sure, Noir wasn’t his favourite cat but he made Marinette happy. And he hated seeing his Princess so unhappy. ******************************************* 


 Her head snapped up at the sound of her name. Adrien burst through her room door, the biggest smile on his face. Marinette felt her face flush. Adrien was breathless, his cheeks a light pink and his hair was a mess. But a gorgeous golden mess. It still seemed surreal that Adrien Agreste was Chat Noir…but she didn’t have a problem with it anymore. It made her life so much easier.

“Adrien? What is it?” she asked getting up from her desk, leaving a slightly irritated Noir in her arms. “ I found Noir’s owners!” he said excitedly. Relief filled Marinette but was squashed down with the realization that this was the last time she was ever going to see Noir again. “Oh, that’s…great.” she said trying to appear cheerful. Adrien didn’t seem to notice her behaviour. “C’mon, Mari! They’re downstairs!” he said grabbing her hand and scooping Noir in the other. 

Marinette wanted to cry. Did Adrien really hate Noir that much? He wasn’t even going to let her say goodbye to the cat she had grown so fondly of this past few weeks? He walked downstairs with her and smiled. “Mari, meet Noir’s owners.” Marinette looked up and gasped. 

“Manon! You’re Noir’s owner?” 

Manon giggled, her brown curls shaking. “Yes, and his name is Fluffybutt!” The little girl picked up Noir and crushingly embraced it. “ Oh Fluffy, I missed you so much!” Noir gave Marinette a look as if to say ‘please help me.’ Marinette looked at Adrien and smiled gratefully. No wonder he wasn’t upset, he knew that she babysat Manon and that she would still be able to see Noir again! 

Marinette stood up and lightly kissed Adrien on the cheek. “Thank you.” she whispered. “EW! MARINETTE HAS A BOYFRIEND! MARI HAS A BOYFRIEND!” Manon yelled jumping up and down with Noir still in her arms. “He’s not my-.” Marinette began but Manon was too busy laughing. 


A few hours later, Marinette laid in bed, questions floating in and out of her mind.

 Was Adrien her boyfriend? Were they a thing? Were they even something?

What were they exactly?

 He hadn’t asked her out. But she loved spending time with him. He had kissed her as Chat and as Adrien which meant..something. And he did help her look for Noir’s owner but was that only because he wanted to get rid of Noir? She was still confused. He only kissed her because of jealousy…not because he loved her. Marinette felt a wave of cold wash over her.



Her stomach did somersaults and she couldn’t take it anymore. She jumped out of bed and checked the time. It was only 8:00 and that gave her plenty of time to go and give the Agreste household a visit.

“Tikki! Spots on!”


Ladybug landed on the roof of the Agreste household and slid down onto Adrien’s large window. She looked around his room and finally spotted him at his computer, talking to Plagg. She smiled and knocked on his window. She saw his muscles tense as he hid Plagg in his shirt and spun his chair around. She giggled when his jaw dropped and as he ran over to let her in.

“L-Ladybug! Um..UH, what are you doing here? Not that I don’t want your company, just uh- that it’s sudden and-.” Ladybug silenced him as she pressed her lips to his and wrapped her arms around his neck. She felt his body tense and he broke off the kiss, gently pushing her away. “ Ladybug…I…I like someone…someone else…maybe even more…but this is wrong…I can’t betray her like this.” he said softly.

She smiled. “Care to enlighten me with this girl’s name?” The way Adrien’s eyes brightened when he said Marinette’s name nearly made her fall. He said it with such passion..such love. “She’s the most amazing girl, Ladybug.” Adrien sighed dreamily. Ladybug smiled and decided to put her ‘Operation Marinette’s Reveal’ into action. “Wow, you’re usually so cocky and flirty, Chat. So how’s your Princess doing?” Adrien froze. 

“What did you say?”

“How your Princess is doing? You do call her Princess don’t you?” she teased. Adrien was silent as the pieces fell into place. “Marinette? Is that you?” Ladybug smiled as she detransformed. “Hello Adrien.” she said softly but the happiness was evident on her face.

The boy gaped as the separate images of Ladybug and Marinette collided together in his head. Was he really that blind? It was so obvious that Marinette was Ladybug. Maybe if he wasn’t that stupidly flirty and lovesick he would’ve notice the unmasked girl behind him earlier.

But wait, wasn’t this perfect? His Lady is also his Princess. Maybe Plagg wasn’t that unlucky after all and Adrien could be happy with both girls he loved.

Not both girls.
The one girl who happened to be his partner and his Lady and his Princess. The one who bandaged him up, the one who looked out for him,the one who dealt with his horrible puns.

After several minutes of Adrien staring at her ,his face lit up and Marinette, who was starting to panic because of the blond’s expression, relaxed a little and shyly smiled back. Adrien lost no time and hugged her, burying his face in the crook of her neck, inhaling her scent.

“I am so stupid, you both have the same smell. What an useless cat instinct.” he chuckled, face still hidden and he heard her giggle, embracing him with her slender arms.

“You silly alley cat,” Marinette was facing him now with both hands interlocked on his nape, a sweet smile on her face and Adrien thought he was going to faint at the sight of such beauty. “I can’t believe we were so blind.”

“Mhmm” the blond hummed letting her go from the hug and placing a hand on her cheek. She closed her eyes, feeling delighted at the touch when suddenly she heard, “I love you, Marinette.”

Marinette’s eyes snapped open at his words and she looked into his deep green eyes, to be met with an intense feeling of sincerity.

“I love you, both sides of you. You made me fall for you twice, Princess. You made me experience true jealously maybe for the first time and it was because of an actual cat.” Marinette laughed a little through her glassy eyes and the fluttering feeling in her stomach.

“I don’t think I love you more now because you are Ladybug, I think I love Ladybug more because it’s you.” Adrien smiled at her and wiped a tear from her cheek. “ Don’t cry my Lady, please.” Marinette slammed a little fist on his chest and took in a warily breath.

“You stupid cat boy with your cheesy lines and your stupid adorable face. You can’t just say those things so easily!” Adrien smiled softly at her knowing that her babbling was about to start.

“Maybe as Chat, I didn’t love you in the same way at first. That was all because of Noir. But I learned how to in another way. You made your way inside my heart as Ladybug and as Marinette and now I love you because it’s you. I love you, I’ll always love you and you can be sure that I loved you in one way or another as Chat and Adrien this whole time!”

Her tears fell on the floor as she looked up to the boy with glassy eyes as well.

“I feel the same way, Adrien. I…I was trying so hard to deny my feelings for Chat because I liked you…and then you kissed me as Chat…And oh God, I was confused. I didn’t know who I liked anymore. But you couldn’t imagine my relief when you turned out to be Chat. Yes it was a little strange at first…but…I…I love both parts of you. And I hope you never change that.”

Adrien felt warmth from his chest spread through his entire body. He opened his arms for her again and then sat on the couch with Marinette still in his embrace. She nuzzled his chest and hugged him tightly by the waist.

“So, are you gonna stop soaking my pocket or what?” Adrien winced, remembering about the little annoying creature in his shirt pocket.

“Perfect timing, Plagg” the boy sighed and Marinette giggled, wiping her tears away. She could get used to this.

This was home.

Anon asked for medieval au, with Natasha as a mistress or witch and James as his formidable self. 

So here it it, Bucky climbs a mountain to kill a witch, it goes about as well as you’d expect with his luck.

They tell stories of a witch on the mountain (they being the villagers, in hushed whispers to their children at night and in drunken tales at the tavern). They say she lures men to their deaths and children into her oven. They lock their doors and pray for fear of her. 

But James Buchanan Barnes isn’t from around here and he’s never been able to turn down a challenge, so when one of the men at the tavern loudly claims that no man was brave enough to hunt the witch down – well, it would be against Bucky’s character not to prove him wrong.

 Which is how he wound up thrown from his horse deep in the snowy forest of the mountain. 

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