cat!fic

Dapper Prom!Owls and Cats from @silvercistern​‘s fic Character Development  

If you haven’t already read this fic, do yourself a favor and read it. If you have, then please re-read it haha

happy belated birthday  @magnusragnor  ♥

elle you are an incredible person and an amazing writer, i couldn’t be more grateful to have met you and call you friend. love you!!

i am so sorry it took me so long to post this but i hope you like it

(the biggest thanks to @maghnvsbane who was the most patient beta i could have asked for and went above and beyond when helping me with this)

Sometimes Alec reminds Magnus of a cat.

He can’t remember the first time the idea formed in his mind, but it had probably been before they started dating. Back then, Alec had acted like a stray cat, wanting affection but so afraid to receive it – letting his guard down one moment just to be defensive the next, wary and hissing every time he felt threatened. Magnus had found himself reacting in kind, scared of doing something that would only spook him further, instead extending a cautious hand and holding his breath, hoping it will be perceived like the offering it was but knowing it could be scratched instead.

Now that they are together, the image Alec conjures in Magnus’ mind is that of a content, spoiled cat. Never shy about seeking affection when they’re alone, closing his eyes and melting every time Magnus runs his fingers through his hair, practically purring when touched in the right places – and Magnus delights in discovering and exploring all the right places.

Keep reading

My Kind of MariChat
  • Chat and Marinette hanging out as friends and talking about their crush struggles with each other.
  • Chat not saying who he likes, because he knows that Mari is best friends with the Ladyblog girl and he can’t risk Ladybug finding out how he feels through the Internet. How tacky!
  • Mari not saying who she likes, because she’s afraid Chat will see her love for Adrien as just a celebrity crush. Also she has a tendency to malfunction when speaking his name aloud.
  • Chat giving Mari advice about how to calm her anxiety and be more confident when talking to her crush.
  • Mari giving Chat advice about how to come across as more genuine and less flirty when talking to his crush.
  • The two being 100% oblivious.
  • The two practicing on each other and totally NOT blushing  ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
  • The two encouraging and pushing each other to ask their crush out.
  • The two making a pact to do so the very next day.
  • Mari going up to Adrien at school and remaining 50% calm as she asks him out for ice cream.
  • Adrien internally screaming because he didn’t realize Mari had a crush on HIM and now he feels like a jerk.
  • “OH, uh that sounds like it’d be a lot of fun, but I can’t eat ice cream… model diet, you know?”
  • Marinette trying to recover. “Oh, right. Well, uh…what about a movie?”
  • Marinette regretting her decision the moment he says “Look Marinette-”
  • Adrien trying. “You really are an incredible girl and it means a lot to me that you’d even ask. I just- I already have feelings for someone else.”
  • Marinette accidentally blurting out, “Who? Chloe?”
  • Adrien not knowing whether to laugh or gag. “No, no, no! She uh, she doesn’t go here. You wouldn’t know her.”
  • Marinette thinking that it’s probably some gorgeous model.
  • Marinette sending only one text to Alya instead of her usual 50.
  • “He likes someone else.”
  • An akumatized villain showing up at the absolute WORST time.
  • Chat Noir noticing that his lady is off her game for some reason.
  • Ladybug noticing that Chat is making fewer puns for some reason.
  • Chat pulling her away from the press after the battle.
  • “My lady, I need to tell you something… I love you.”
  • Marinette’s gut clenching because HOW did she not realize Chat had been talking about HER and then she’s reminded of Adrien’s rejection and she’s overwhelmed by hurt and confusion and guilt and-
  • BEEP BEEP go the earrings.
  • “Chat… this isn’t a good time. I- I have to go.” 
  • “Then meet me tonight on the Arc de Triomphe at 11 o’clock.”
  • Ladybug just nodding before she swings away.
  • Chat trying not to be discouraged.
  • Marinette checking her phone after she detransforms.
  • Alya: “Oh girl. I’m so sorry.”
  • Alya: “Are you okay?”
  • Alya: “I’m mandating an emergency sleepover tonight. Just you and me.”
  • Crap.
  • Marinette trying to “go to bed” early so that she can sneak out and meet with Chat.
  • Alya making her stay up because it’s a Friday night and “you promised me we’d watch Moulin Rouge”.
  • Chat somehow managing to set up a candlelit dinner on the Arc de Triomphe because he’s a hopeless romantic.
  • Chat pacing back and forth with droopy ears as it gets later and later.
  • Chat growing incredibly disheartened as he picks at the food and thinks about how he rejected Marinette only to be rejected by Ladybug.
  • Mari worrying about Chat and crying over Adrien.
  • Chat finally heading home around 1:00 AM but stopping when he sees Mari on her balcony. 
  • Mari feeling awful and tearing up when she sees Chat.
  • Chat feeling awful when he sees how upset Mari is.
  • The two hugging and crying and realizing how much they hate seeing the other hurting.
  • The two trying to comfort and encourage each other.
  • Mari telling Chat how funny and brave and kind he is.
  • Chat telling Mari how talented and beautiful and endearing she is.
  • Mari and Chat looking into each others eyes, each wondering if they’ve been pursuing the wrong person all along.
  • Chat leaning in slowly and kissing Mari.
  • Mari kissing back.
  • Alya opening the trapdoor and screaming.
  • The End (ノ◕ヮ◕)ノ*:・゚✧

okay but listen,,, before andrew /reluctantly/ agrees to get a cat, neil sends him multiple pictures and videos throughout the day. the kitten afraid of its reflection? here, watch this. the cats cleaning each other before napping together? It’s so cute, ‘drew, look!! the basket of kittens spilling out of every corner, meows coalescing together? we n e e d one.

and then there’s doing any mundane thing. walking to get ice cream because “the leather in your car is too hot to deal with”? glimpsing something and gasping. andrew focuses on neil immediately to see what’s wrong, to detect a threat, muscle memory kicking in. but then he follows neil’s gaze and of course, there lies a kitten, fur all tuft up and wobbling excitedly. he watches as neil leans down, stroking the ball of fluff and breaking into a boyish grin: all eye crinkles and nose scrunches.

andrew thinks if he gets to bare witness to that kind of easy happiness everyday, he wouldn’t mind the cat.

anonymous asked:

hi i love your writing so much and was wondering if you had any fic recs to hold me over until your next update 😭

THERES WAY TOO MANY GIRL WAYYYYY TOO MANY??? IDK HOW TO EVEN ANSWER THIS WHAT ARE YOU EVEN ASKING FOR

I’m just gonna throw out whatever comes to mind ok and its probably mostly all smut cuz I’m a perv sorry (wow this ended up being way longer than i intended IM SORRY)


@jiminniemouse is the queen of threesomes so take a look into her profile but some of my favorites is:

Crave (Yoongi smut), Taste (Hobi smut), Making Him Jealous (ima call it a jikook threesome let me live), and her ongoing series Purple Jewels!

Masterlist

@jungblue ok anything from this girl is gold G O L D i love all of her fics but if I have to choose then

Future Hearts (Jimin/Jungkook love triangle), I Hate You I Love You (Jungkook smut/angst), and Control (Jimin smut omg i am still having chest pains thinking about this one)

Masterlist

@seokvie This girl has got a whole fucking load of fics it’s like finding a pot of gold at the end of the rainbow smutland wonderland your vag will cry in joy and pain

Costume (Hobi smut MY ALL TIME FAVORITE FIC I L O V E IT), View From 4-B (Hobi smut), basically all her Hobi smuts, Show Off (Wonho smut), Paradise (JB smut), JUST BINGE READ ALL OF THEM (i am also excited to read her new fic with jimin and assplay and lets just say my ass is ready but I DONT HAVE A KINK FOR ASSPLAY OK LET ME LIVE)

Masterlist

@jungkxook yes yes yes everything all of it just do it

Pour Up (taekook threesome), Hiraeth (zombie apocolypse au)

Masterlist

@war-of-hormoan‘s For You (Tae angst) killed me about 40 times

Masterlist

@kimvtae‘s Fall For You (Jungkook smut) series and Couples Costumes (Hobi smut)

Masterlist

@minsvga‘s Philophobia (Jungkook/Jimin smut/angst) series, Taking Risks 101  (Jimin smut), Children of the Night (Jungkook/Tae smut) series

Masterlist

@yoonminnings‘s Lace Casualties (Jimin sugar daddy)

Masterlist

@trapmonster‘s He Didn’t (Yoongi smut/angst), Bite me (Jungkook smut), Silent Treatment (Jungkook), Nerd (Tae), Toxic (maknae line)

Masterlist

@btssmutgalore oh my god all of her fics ALL OF HER DAMN FICS LETS JUST SAY SHE SERIOUSLY OWES ME A NEW PELVIS OK FUCK but my favorites so far are

Nude (Tae), Lightweight (Jungkook), Business (A FUCKING TWO PART TAEKOOK THREESOME GOD), Lollipop (Jungkook), Forbidden (Hobi)

Masterlist

@ellieljade‘s Apologies (Tae smut/angst) is one of my favorites and honestly just read all of her masterlist as well i cry (out of everywhere)

Masterlist

@kookingtae‘s Experimental Error (Tae smut I fucking died), The Switch (OT7 Smut holy hell this was one of the first bts smuts ive read and wow now you see why I really love them), Falling Into You (Jungkook smut GOD I LOVED THIS SO HARD) + the rest of her masterlist

Masterlist

@floralseokjin oh my goodness ok i cant believe i havent discovered you sooner I fucking love your writing pls

Buzz trilogy (Yoongi smut & O       M       G), Playing with Fire (Jungkook smut) i havent read anything else yet BUT I JS SAW SHE POSTED A NEW FIC YOU KNOW WHAT IM READIN TONIGHT

Masterlist

@onlylovekpop basically all her Wonho smuts and drabbles killed me k i l l e d me but my fav is Bad Behavior

Masterlist

Other people you should def look into is @kittae (cat fics yes) @seoulscapes (an amazing demon wonho au) @helloblamebts @seokline @kstopping @imaginethisbts @kainks @jeonins @baeseoul (p r o t e  g e)

Im so sorry I’m still sick and I’m getting tired and lazy so I just had to bunch up the rest HAHAHA but I hope this helps anon! And you will def not be disappointed in any of these ok they are amazing and beautiful and amazing and everytime I read their stories literally

nothing like staying in and solving crimes for date night

if u like softness and murders, check out the incredible elementary au by @spanglebangle

Fic Recs

(it ain’t all innocent fluff and marshmallows so please read the tags in fics carefully

also comments are love!! let the writers know you enjoyed their writing!)

Victuuri

  1. solnyshko - Explicit, 3,8k
  2. My Heart got Lost in the Mail - Gen, 1,2k
  3. The Way to a Man’s Heart-Shaped Smile - Teen and Up, 6,1k
  4. were stars to burn - Teen and Up, 7,4k ❤️❤️
  5. we have loved the stars too fondly - Not Rated, 10,5k  ❤️❤️
  6. Hook, Line, and Sinker - Teen and Up, 17,4k
  7. The Rule for Giving and Receiving Gifts - Teen and Up, 3,1k
  8. Eternal Tango - Teen and Up, 8,3k (watch out for tags)
  9. It should be better this time. - Explicit, 15,7k
  10. Better than Instant - Gen, 5k
  11. Yuuri Forgetting, by Viktor Forgot - Mature, 45,7k  ❤️❤️
  12. Shatter With Me - Teen and Up, 7,1k
  13. you can take off your clothes (long as you coming home) - Explicit, 6,2k
  14. younger days - Teen and Up, 5,1k
  15. This isn’t love, lover - Teen and Up, 8,9k  ❤️❤️


Otayuri

  1. i dare you - Teen and Up, 2k
  2. unfinished duet. - Teen and Up, 1,9k
  3. City Limits - Mature, 3,1k
  4. wyd? - Not Rated, 5,8k
  5. it’s all for the cats - Gen, 3,2k
Jon/Sansa fic recs: the canonverse fics

Here at last, for Fandom Fic Rec Days!

Here are my Jon/Sansa bookmarks; my modern AU recommendations; and my historical & other AU recs.

I’ve indicated book or show canon for reference.


A Winter’s Tale by @justadram​ (96k, M, book canon compliant, future fic)
The War of Three Dragons comes to the Vale, bringing Jon Snow and Sansa Stark together once more.

A nice longer fic you can sink your teeth into. (I read so many fics where I’m like … this is so great … but what if it was 50k longer?) I especially like Sansa coming to terms with not going home and the roles other characters play in the story (especially Jaime and Asha). Sadly lacking in other Stark sibs (my perennially unfulfilled desire) but at least there’s hope for reunion in the future. Also: there needs to be more Sam and Sansa being friends in the world. So much more.

All the Way to the Moon by @misshoneywheeler (5k, E, book canon compliant, future fic)
The Dragon Queen had been gracious. Sansa would keep her name and her home. Her children would grow in Winterfell as Starks, just as she once had. Sansa had forced herself to thank the Queen, her steady tone betraying none of the bitterness that curled beneath her tongue. That she should be a brood mare to ensure succession sat uneasy, no matter that it was a life she most likely would have sought for herself, more or less, given time and a husband of her choosing. That was not the bargain, though. Jon Snow was the bargain.

Hot smut, but also some delightful identity issues re: Alayne. One of my faves is Sansa trying to manipulate Jon and Jon just going along with it instead of being tricked. I don’t know why I like that so much, but this is definitely a good example.

And if You Want Me I’m Your Country by thefairfleming (7k, M, book canon compliant, future fic)
“She isn’t anything like I thought she would be,” the maester says at last. “She is not much like I’d thought she’d be either, Sam,” Jon replies.

A really enjoyable example of the “Dany makes them marry” trope. Is this the trope progenitor? IDK, but it seems like an early example.

break me like a promise by honey_wheeler (5k, E, book canon compliant, future fic)
“Seems we are siblings after all,” Jon had said, his voice forcibly light, as if to make the words a jape. Perhaps to soften the news, or diminish the realness of it. Perhaps because he had as much difficulty believing it as she, having known himself a Targaryen near as long as he’d thought himself a Stark bastard. And they had been married such a short time; it was too fast to be real, too sudden to seem anything but a cruel trick.

The incest angst fic of my dreams. You know how a lot of fics do the cousin reveal and they’re like “oh phew, thank the gods, I thought I was banging my brother”? This is the opposite of that. Hot and sad at the same time. Contains A+ sexual crying.

Broken Pieces by @justadram​ (7k, M, book canon compliant, future fic)
Jon is good and kind, but he wants things from Sansa she doesn’t know whether she can give.

Almost more of a Sansa character piece than anything else. I love stories dealing with Sansa’s identity issues and this delivers.

Crossing Flatlands to You by @maybetwice (6k, M, book canon compliant, future fic)
It takes them years to get it right, for the right reasons, at the right time. Five reasons Sansa had to seduce Jon, and the one reason he had to seduce her.

If for no other reason than a change of pace, it’s really good to read fics where they fall in love before marrying, and I really dig this one. Very tight and focused writing. Quite a bit less smut than you’d think from the summary. (Not a criticism; just FYI.)

Fetch the Prince’s Sister by @justadram​ (2k, T, book canon compliant, future fic)
Cries of “fetch the prince’s sister” bring Sansa to Jon’s tent.

Major tearjerker. Prepare yourself. And heed the warning.

Gods, Let Me Try by @justadram​ (3k, E, book canon compliant, future fic)
Jon told Sansa to remain in his tent for her own safety, but she continually frustrates his attempts to protect her.

I am perpetually in need of more angry sex for this ship (there’s so little, y’all. so little). This is still not quite enough, but it does scratch that itch somewhat. Jon and Sansa arguing is everything to me.

Like winter we are cruel by lagardère/@aknightfornawt​ (73k, M, show canon compliant, post-S6)
Winter has come to Winterfell, Jon expects a war north of the Wall, and Littlefinger is brewing one inside the very castle.

Expect lovely evocative writing (seriously, ugh, to a truly unfair degree), LF being a creep, Jon and Sansa having an increasingly strained relationship despite their growing attraction (”Tell Baelish to get you your fucking crown,” be still my heart), political machinations, and a nice bevy of side characters, including Arya and some well-drawn supporting original characters. It also gave me a taste for epistolary fic for this ship, a thirst that goes as yet unquenched.

Moon Cycles by caesia (7k, M, book canon compliant, future fic)
Sansa receives a visitor to the Eyrie who reminds her of her past, but his past is complicated too.

I honestly think this might be my favorite? And I’m not totally sure why? Like, the premise is literally just that post-resurrection Jon is a werewolf. You’d think that might be dumb, or at least cracky if played tongue-in-cheek, but it’s actually really melancholy and bittersweet, especially the second fic.

Snow Kisses by caesia (3k, M, book canon compliant, future fic)
The sky sends icy kisses falling against her cheeks, but Jon’s kiss still burns on her lips.

The little details of everyday life bring this fic to life.

True North by lit_chick08 (6k, M, book canon compliant, future fic)
It is official business that brings Jon Snow to Winterfell.  It is personal business that damns him.

Normally infidelity is a huge turn-off for me, and yeah part of me was a little :| at first, but the things to like about this fic just overwhelmed all that. For some reason I also have a huge “Sansa has a kid (or two) out of wedlock” kink, so that probably helps. A killer ending line, also.

Unmade by @misshoneywheeler (2k, M, book canon compliant, future fic)
Jon has a vague memory of Sansa picking a nosegay of those blue flowers, smelling them deeply before holding them out for him to do the same.

SEX POLLEN, MY FRIENDS. Strangely innocent, sweet sex pollen that is all the more hot for those aspects alongside the dubious consent. Also, frottage.

What Once Was Sweet by @justadram​ (6k, T, book canon compliant, future fic)
Before they wed, things were sweet between Jon and Sansa.

So I’m all about the “stone by stone” “Ned/Cat 2.0″ marriage fics, but a lot of times it’s either focused on the very beginnings of the relationship (the wedding and first night, usually), or on the end where they finally realize their feelings and have super hot sex. No shade intended, I like all flavors of this trope, but sometimes you want more of the actual “stones” themselves in between–the difficulties, the disagreements, the miscommunications, the compromises, etc. This is a story about conflict and I really dig how this is ambiguous and open instead of resolving everything neatly.

anonymous asked:

HELLO~ IVE RECENTLY JUST GOT INTO READING YOONMIN FICS AND I WAS WONDERING DO YOU HAVE ANY GOOD SUGGESTIONS? Thanks in advance!

heLLO HI WELCOME TO YOONMIN HELL - I don’t know what you’ve already read? or even what you’re into? but i’ll try to cover the basics

okay this is getting really fucking long. i’ve a ton more to recommend though? anon come back when you finish all these classics and we can get into the moderns LOL

fyi i have a fic rec tag which i update occasionally as i find particularly interesting fics that i’ve read recently!

I need a fic now where before the fight with Rhea, Kara gives the necklace to Cat for safekeeping in case she doesn’t make it.”- thank @xy0009 who graciously let me write this for her 


“Aren’t you supposed to be out pummeling that alien queen into the concrete?” Cat asked, watching Supergirl land gently on her balcony.

“I am, soon. Sooner than soon,” Kara said, looking at the countdown that was playing on the corner of all the screens behind Cat’s desk. Fifteen minutes left. “I just had a talk with Kal. Er, Superman.”

Cat’s eyebrow lifted at the accidental name drop, tucking away the information for… nothing, probably. She couldn’t exactly start printing every little slip up Kara made in her presence. But it was always nice to know more than other people. “Did he give you some tips on not getting snatched by that god-awful cape?”

“No, although that would be helpful if he had any,” Kara said, twisting the end of her cape anxiously around her arm. “He just said some stuff about… about fighting for people that you cared about. His girlfriend, mostly.”

“Superman has a girlfriend?” Cat asked, sidetracked for a moment at the thought of Lois Lane finding out that her precious superhero was going home to someone else.

Keep reading

An excerpt from this fic I’m hoping I’ll finish by the end of this week, because otherwise it’s back to uni, and it’ll be another fifteen years before I touch it again:

He’s just about to do them both the favour of ending this very awkward Skype call when Yuri lets out a soft gasp, and says, “Is that your cat?” 

“What?” Otabek asks, and turns to see the calico cat that’s so fond of trespassing into his apartment perching on his bedside table. He blinks at the cat a little, and then turns back to Yuri, who is beaming at him, clearly excited to see the cat. “Yeah,” he fucking lies. “Yeah, that’s definitely my cat.”

ETA: The fic is done now! You can find it here!

Won’t You Please Come Around

by @allwaswell16

mature, 5k+

Summary:

Harry has lived in London for a month, and so far the only friend he’s made is his sister’s cat, Mr. Whiskers. When the lock on the window breaks, Mr. Whiskers begins exploring his new neighbourhood a bit too thoroughly and brings back mementos of his escapes.

Or a Valentine’s Day story where Harry has a really fit neighbour, and his cat is a thief.


This is part of a prompt challenge that a group of us are participating in for the prompt “Cat”. To read the other amazing fics that were written by the others on this prompt, you can click here and to see all fics written as part of the challenge, you can click here.

Inspired by @akira-of-the-twilight‘s winteriron shifter AU fic, Cat Nipped !!:

Taking that as a positive sign, Bucky fiddled with his armor, loosening it just a tad. Carefully he slid Tony under his chest armor and then tightened it so Tony fit snuggly inside. “What do you think?”

Tony swiveled his head then poked it out of the armor. He gophered his head back inside then meowed approvingly.

anonymous asked:

supercat, 97, please?

Supercat + 97. “I want you and I know you want me too.”

“How do you feel about public marriage proposals?” Kara asked, frowning at her phone as she scrolled through Instagram, leaning up against the headboard. Her pajama clad legs pulled up to her chest. Cat was sitting at her dresser, taking off her makeup and still wearing the dress she’d worn to work. She looked up at Kara’s reflection in the mirror as she wiped the dark red lipstick off.

“Depends on who’s asking.” Cat smirked, reaching up to take off her earrings. They clattered onto the dresser, joining her necklace and a couple rings. “I’ve had strangers drop to their knees in front of me and beg before. While flattering on some level, it’s wildly uncomfortable for the most part.”

“Ok but like, specifically, if you were dating someone for like a period of time… like a reasonable amount of time-”

“Like a year and a half?” Cat supplied, tossing a knowing look over her shoulder before going back to what she was doing. Kara faltered, her grasp on the phone tightening enough to crack the screen.

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

I wish you'd write a fic where Dean finds Castiel's diary from the time he was human (and it's heart wrenching) ❤️

Anon, you just love angst don’t you. (this is set in an ambiguous time around s9-ish)


It’s not something Dean means to find. 

He knows that, because it’s shoved underneath the passenger seat of Cas’s old car with various bottles of water and crumpled up trash sprawled over it. 

Dean just wanted to clean out Cas’s Continental; a way to get Cas feeling a bit better about the world, about the fact that he is walking around with stolen grace and after having been through a shitty bender of being human. Dean thinks that he can help from ridding Cas of a little clutter. 

So, even though he doesn’t mean to find it, he bumps against it as he is sticking his hand under the seat, fishing for garbage to dispose of. 

It’s a journal; with worn leather and a string wrapped around it to keep it closed. Dean picks it up, and opens to the first page. 

He abandoned me, says the first line. In Cas’s rough cursive handwriting.

Yeah, Dean was definitely not meant to find this. 

He shoves it into his jacket pocket, dutifully finishing his task of cleaning the truck. Resolutely ignoring the fact that something very important and very personal is sitting heavy against his chest.

Dean ignores reading it as long as he can; tries to convince himself that he’ll just leave it where he found it, or give it to Cas and advise him to find a better place to hide his personal belongings. 

Cas is such a private person–well, a private angel. Half the time Dean isn’t fully convinced that Cas is telling the whole story of what is going through his head. If he could just have a little insight. A little clarity into what Cas really was experiencing; why he seemed convinced to be Atlas and always have the world on his shoulders.

In his bedroom, after staring at the worn leather for a good half an hour, Dean cracks open the worn pages. 

He abandoned me. 

Dean takes a steady breath and reads on.

It all seemed like it would be okay. Of course, me turning human isn’t ideal - but I thought I could at least do research, maybe get trained in hunting if only a little. I thought I could still be service to the fight. Be of service to Dean. 

But he abandoned me.  

Dean presses his face into his palms. He should not be reading this. He should not. If this is about him, he has no right. 

After an inner crisis that lasts for five more minutes, Dean reads on.

For the longest time, I have served God. It was my purpose. Somehow, Dean became my purpose, but I don’t mind it. I’m always happy to serve Dean, and Sam. But now that I’m on my own, without anyone to serve but myself, I am at such a loss. I help Nora with various tasks around the gas station; but it’s not the same. I don’t feel like I’m serving a purpose that matters. God mattered, once. Dean still certainly matters. And yet I can’t serve either. 

Dean skims ahead, turning a few pages into the journal. He reads an entry that is dated the day after Dean came to visit Cas.

Sometimes we can’t help the things that happen to us. Sometimes horrible things happen, beyond our control. I know why Dean kicked me out of the bunker; it was a way to save Sam. I don’t know why, but it was. I know that Dean acted callous and abrupt because he is afraid of showing vulnerable emotion; and I know that it’s difficult for him to let people down. 

Despite the situations Dean and I find ourselves in, where one of us is forced to hurt the other or make it difficult for each other in some way, my feelings never change.

He abandoned me. I was rejected by God, by all of Heaven, and then him. But unlike God, and unlike the angels I used to serve, I still love him.

Father help me, why do I still love him.

Dean drops the journal like it’s a hot poker. He stumbles to his feet and paces his room, running his fingers through his hair. This was the worst invasion of someone’s privacy - of Cas’s privacy - and he did it without more than a few minute’s hesitation. 

Now he can’t erase the words searing his brain: I still love him.

Dean huffs a humorless laugh and sits at the edge of the bed, head in his hands. But Cas wrote this years ago - it can’t still be true. After all the shit Dean has dealt to him, after all the things Cas has gone through, he must realize now how untrue that love is. How undeserving Dean is of that love in the first place.

Snatching the journal from the bed, Dean stomps into the bunker’s library. Cas is hunched over a thick book, hands tangled in his messy dark hair, his trench coat crumpled. He raises surprised blue eyes in Dean’s direction. There are dark circles under them, like bruises. 

“Dean,” he says with surprise. 

How could Dean not see it? How stupid could he be? “Cas,” Dean says, his voice not much more than a croak.

Cas frowns, eyes flickering to Dean’s hands. His face pales. “Oh.”

“Why didn’t you tell me?” Dean asks hoarsely.

“You -” Cas’s voice catches. He straightens his back and shuts the book in front of him calmly. “You abandoned me. I got the message.”

“Fuck.” Dean stumbles toward Cas’s chair, crouching before Cas. “I didn’t know.”

“I didn’t want you to know,” Cas says, eyes steadily looking forward, away from Dean.

“I needed to know - “

“No!” Cas glares into Dean’s eyes, expression stormy. “You never needed to be burdened with that. With me.”

“Cas, you idiot.” Dean clutches at Cas’s coat, like it’s a lifeline. “If you told me - if you had so much as indicated - “ He takes a shaky breath. “I love you too. Despite our shitty circumstances, despite the fucked-up situations we find ourselves in that make us hurt each other - I love you too.”

Cas slowly blinks at Dean, processing his words. He frames Dean’s face with his hands, and leans forward to press his forehead against Dean’s. “You abandoned me,” he whispers. 

“I never will again,” is all Dean can manage breathlessly as he catches Castiel’s lips with his own to melt into an endless, lovely kiss. 

send me a “I wish you’d right a fic where…”