castle moments that i love

10

But… the question is this, when you come down to it, would you be willing to break her out of prison? Because that, my boy, is true love.

If You Wait

A/N: Yay! Still on time for Castle Fanfic Monday! I’ve missed writing so much this past month… Hope you like this one. Prompt at the end.
P.S: Send me more prompts to my inbox please

*****
“And if you wait, if you wait
I will trust in time that we will meet again”
London Grammar – If You Wait

***


Set in season 4


Castle left the precinct as soon as Beckett had told him she would be doing paperwork for the rest of the evening. Being on call didn’t always mean there would be a body drop at any second, so sometimes she liked to stay in the empty, silent bullpen and catch up on her paperwork.


He, of course, fled the scene and politely bid his goodbye, leaving her in the almost empty bullpen.


After his departure, she proceeded with her ritual of getting coffee before starting on the pile of paperwork on her desk. Thank goodness for Castle’s espresso machine!


She could just go home and work from there, leave if she was called in…but it’s so quiet. It’s always so quiet…


If she had a say in it, she’d now be curled up with Castle on his couch with Martha and Alexis beside them, the four of them watching a movie.


Kate wanted that so bad, wanted to be whole again so she could be with him, give him everything he deserved. Give into his love. Because she remembered what he’d told her on that day, she’d been working that tiny bit harder to be ready for him.


If she wanted to be with him, she couldn’t be a broken shell of a person.


And Kate Beckett could barely wait to be ready, she was almost sure that one of these days this window would close on her and she’d regret it for the rest of her life.


She sighed. Went back to her reports.


Once she was halfway through her paperwork, she noticed the familiar iPhone sitting between two piles of paper.


And since when does she leave this much paperwork laying around?!


But back to the iPhone… Why would Castle leave his precious phone completely forgotten here at the precinct? She quickly made up her mind, she’d finish up at the precinct, go by his loft to drop the phone and then she’d go back to her own apartment where she’d take a bath, order some food and watch bad TV before going to bed. It’s what most of her nights consisted of anyway.


***


Some time later, she couldn’t really tell how much, Kate was ready to go home. Her paperwork was over, her shift as well and she couldn’t wait to get into that warm bath.


She turned off her computer, went into the break room to wash her mug and gathered her things back at her desk. Finally, picking up his phone, she pressed the button to light up the screen and check the time. It was late, but not too late that he’d be asleep 20 minutes from then. However, the fact that it was late didn’t seem to get to her as much as the wallpaper on the phone.


It was her. It was a photo of her. Oh God! How was she supposed to wait to be heal for him when he had her picture on his phone?


And one she didn’t even recognize but she knew when he’d taken it. Almost a year ago, on his birthday party, he’d invited some of his friends to the loft, including the boys, Lanie, Montgomery and Jenny.


At some point, all his other friends had gone home, Martha had gone out and Alexis had excused herself to go study Chemistry. Even the captain had gone home, leaving the six of them in his living room telling stories and laughing together. Kate remembered laughing so freely that night, Josh had been taking night shifts all week because of a stupid fight they’d had and Castle knew about that. She hadn’t known how – still didn’t, – but somehow he knew. When his birthday party started he made it his mission to keep her happy all night. He must have snapped that photo during the end of the evening, her eyes trained somewhere else rather than him and that dazzling smile of hers showing.


Castle. Her partner, her best friend, the man who hopefully was still in love with her. She smiled fondly at the idea of them being together in every sense of the word.


She had no idea what she would do if she lost him. She couldn’t lose him and that photo could mean he’s still waiting for her.


***


Kate made it to his loft in record time, lifting a hand to gently but firmly knock on the door. Less than a minute later she’s standing face to face with him in his doorway.


“Beckett, what are you doing here at…” he looked down at his watch, “10:30 in the evening? Not that I’m complaining…” He stepped aside to let her in and closed the door behind them.


“Well, I know it’s late but I thought…” Kate trailed off as she reached his couch and turned around to face him.


His face lightened up. “Oh, caught a case? I’m down for it, I’ve been writing ever since I left the precinct. I’m writing this scene now, trying to get Nikki and Rook to-”


Ever the fan girl, she had to put a stop to his rant. “Castle! No spoilers!”


He chuckled at that, gave her his trademark smirk before adding something that made her eyes roll, “I knew you were a fan.” He motioned for them to sit on the couch then. Once settled down on the comfortable leather, he asked again. “So, what are you doing here then?”


“You left your phone at the precinct.” She reached for the pocket of her coat and took out the phone. “I thought you might need it, but I just got out of the precinct and I couldn’t swing by earlier. Sorry.”


Castle collected the phone, unlocking it to check his notifications, mostly texts and emails, the new update for Angry Birds. Kate would be lying if she said she hadn’t noticed the hint of a smile on his face when the phone came to life. “Oh, it’s okay. I didn’t even realize I had left it there. You, Kate Beckett, are a lifesaver!”


Kate can’t help but laugh at that, he was so goofy sometimes. Looking at him so carefree, so handsome, she gathered the courage to say the rest of what she had say. “I saw your wallpaper. I didn’t mean to, I was just checking the time, but it made me smile too like you did a minute ago.”


“You saw the picture?” She nodded. “I-I didn’t-” He got up and started pacing back and forth in front of her, troubled.


She interrupted him with a wave of her hand. “Don’t. You don’t need to justify yourself…” Kate got to her feet as well and stopped him with a hand on his forearm. “But I do need you to answer one question.” She held his gaze then, his face scrunched up with a look of panic, looking so much like a little boy in trouble it was making him look almost a little too adorable for her to handle. So she closed her eyes and took a deep breath. When she opened them, beautiful hazel meeting nervous blue, she knew that was it. That was her chance to make things right. “Do you still love me?” Her voice was nothing more than a whisper and she’s not so sure he has heard her.


“Wh-what?” But his answer was more of a shocked one, he’d heard her.


“Do you still love me?” Kate repeated.


“How do y- I thought you didn’t remember what happened…” Castle looked into her eyes, anger flowing from his and then he glanced down at the hand she’d laid on his arm. He tried to free himself but as just held on tighter and moved her hand down to his wrist, tugging on it.


“Look at me, Castle.” He did. “I do. I didn’t then but I’ve been remembering lately. I didn’t lie to you, Rick.”


“How could you leave-” The look of disbelief he carried was enough to make her want to cease his worries with a hug. Or however she could.


But that wasn’t possible, not until she had some answers. “I’ve been seeing a therapist, Rick.”


“A therapist?”


“Yes. He’s been helping me accept everything that happened that day, helping me get better so I can be fully ready…”


“For what?” They’re standing so close to each other, her heels making her almost as tall as him. He could just lean in and kiss her. If only he knew where they stood…


“To be with you.” The moment the words come out of her mouth, they were frozen in time, the air gone from his lungs. “Will you tell me now?” When he kept staring at her, no answer coming from him, no reaction whatsoever, she asked again. “Do you still love me?”


***


This was his chance of finally coming clean about his feelings, about her, about them. He was going to tell her the truth and hope for the best. When he made up his mind, he realized she’d been waiting for an answer for far too long and was starting to look a bit panicked. Castle opened his mouth to tell her how he felt but no sound came out.


He heard her sigh, “It’s fine, you don’t.” She started towards the front door and he just stood there in the middle of his living room. “I guess it’s my fault,” he chased her then, there was still so much left unsaid – mostly on his side of the story – and he couldn’t let her blame herself, “I kept you waiting and now you don’t love me anymore.” When Beckett lifted a hand to open the door, he grabbed her wrist, turning her around and pressing her tightly against his chest. Secured by a large hand on the small of her back, Beckett looked up at him in disbelief, golden hazel meeting piercing blue once more. “Cas-“


Castle didn’t give her time to rethink their position, to protest. He just closed his eyes, leaned in and hoped she wouldn’t shoot him. Their lips met and, much like their first kiss, the touch of her lips was enough to make him melt completely. Kate opened her mouth to give him better access, moaning in the process and his tongue darted out to taste the coffee still engraved in hers. They took their time, kissing passionately while their tongues fought and endless battle.


When they pulled away, Kate forced herself to take a step back. She couldn’t risk ruining all her progress now. Or would it really be ruining anything? He looked like a lost puppy. “I do, Kate, I still love you. I couldn’t stop even if I wanted to.” Hearing him say those words again made her feel some sort of relief, as if his answer would make her decide between healing properly or simply coping with all that happen that day. “There’s no one I’d rather be with than you.” Castle dared to take a step forward, invade her personal space, take one of her hands in his.


She looked down at their linked hands and then up into his eyes once more. She wanted so bad to just give herself to him, all of her. Doctor Burke was right, she would have to face her fears eventually. “Rick, there’s nowhere else I’d rather be than here with you.” Her free hand landed on his cheek as his arms fell around her waist, hugging her against him. “And when I’m ready, you’ll be the first to know.” Her words were honest, she wanted him, wanted them.


His eyes were trained on hers, their breaths mingled and time was standing still. “Kate, I would wait a lifetime if that meant I’d have the chance to be with you.”


Castle would wait for her.


Beckett was almost ready.


*****
Prompt: One day Castle mistakenly leaves his phone behind in the precinct. Kate finds out he has a picture of her as his wallpaper. (pre)

🍵/ // Nijo Castle, Kyoto | Exploring the castle was one of the most epic moments for me. I love how Japan was able to preserve their historical sites and their culture in general. Within the castle grounds, we dropped by this little tea shop which sold matcha w/ sweets. We each ordered a set & just looked at the beautiful garden! Taking photos or videos were prohibited in the little shop. 😅

It’s time to say goodbye.“
"I’m not leaving.”
“Castle, you promised you would help me with something when the time came. This is it.”
“Beckett, no.”
“Please, Castle. Please don’t make this any harder than it needs to be.”
“I – I wish I could kiss you. I wish – so many things.”
“No. There’s no regrets. All in all I think we’ve had a great run. You should go…….Rick. I love you.”
“I love you, too.
—  Beckett and Castle (Still) Aka - yet another moment that broke my heart

I think this is the moment when she entirely regains trust in him. She realizes that wherever he was, he was scared and confused, and yet he took the time to record something for them, for her. To let her know he loves her, and he never intended to leave her. I think this moment was so beautiful.