castiel loves dean

a letter from sam to cas about dean

Dear Cas,


I really don’t know what to say. God, Cas. One moment you were there, out of the portal, and I could practically feel the relief and happiness and utter love radiating off Dean and -


You died, Cas.

You went ahead and died on him, on us.

Son of a bitch.

I’m so sorry I didn’t stay behind. It all happened in a blur, man. Mom rushed into the portal with Lucifer and I rushed instead to Kelly and the Nephilim.

Dean didn’t come inside, Cas.

He stayed outside, and I don’t know if he hugged you or if he prayed or if he kissed you, but if I know my brother, I know that he cried.

He can’t live without you, Cas. He’s been drinking for weeks now, and I’ve only just got him to sober up. He’s stopped cooking, so we’ve had to make do with my terrible food and takeouts.

He’s stopped eating burgers, because they were your favourite.

He’s taking cases with me, but now he’s faster and he has this weird glint in his eye. I think your facing up to Lucifer and the portal reminded him of Purgatory, Cas. You guys never really told me what happened down there, but I know that it wasn’t great.

I noticed that when you both came back, you looked at each longingly and you touched more and smiled more and were a little more happy around each other and just -

He loves you. He loves you so much more than his own life. He loves you just a little less than me (no offence, Cas) He loves you and he’s never loved like this before.

You need to come back, man.

We both need you, Dean just a little more.

Hey, and if you come back, bring Gabriel with you, maybe?

You need to wake up.

He won’t stop crying.

Sam Winchester (on behalf of his idiot brother Dean).

anonymous asked:

I could forgetting but didn't Lucifer not have an Angel blade anymore?? Did he pick up Crowley's or did Cas leave his behind after stabbing Lucifer? I don't see the second one being a thing unless Cas was being influenced. Even then that's kind of weird? So I'm inclined to believe Lucifer picked up Crowley's Angel blade and that's what he stabbed Cas with. Which is more interesting to me if Crowley is meant to be Dean's dark side, but what do you think?

Yeah, it’s really interesting to me that Crowley died in a self sacrificing manner the episode right after Dean reconciled his past and his “dark side” which Crowley is associated with, its a great metaphor :D

Cas dying also fits because the metaphor works best if both sides “die” to then mingle together to create a whole NEW Dean Winchester… hence my meta titled “Dean Winchester is going to die” earlier in the season with all the foreshadowing of this.

It would serve the metaphor best if Crowley died by ‘his’ blade (even though its not technically his, its his by ownership) and Cas by ‘his’ blade (which we also assume isn’t actually his because how could he still have it after season 9).

So yeah this makes sense metaphorically but not necessarily narratively, WHY would Cas leave the blade lying next to Lucifer when Lucifer clearly won’t be killed by it (Angels must know that an Archangel cannot be killed with a normal blade and / or if for some reason he didn’t WE know and usually its safe to assume that they wouldn’t make the narrative rest on the fact that Dean and Sam never discussed this with him over the years….).

The self sacrificing part and the potential for it to be by their own blades is awesome and a great metaphor for Dean’s state right now. He is on that cusp of reconciling his past and present in order to move forwards and Cas’s death is also going to help with this. He might try to fall back into old habits, but find that he cannot now that he has let that side of him go, he might not even try to do this at all and deal in a new, different way, he might finally admit to himself his feelings about both Cas and Crowley (although it seems he kind of already did about Crowley, which makes sense given his death was in this season and that admitting he doesn’t hate Crowley would be a stepping stone to admitting that he loves Cas, whether you see it as platonic or not, love, romantic and familial, is something that Dean needs to address, hence the first ever “I love you” to his mother in 12x22).

Season 12 has been one long ode to Dean Winchester letting down his walls and is it such a surprise that this is the season that we also got this the buddy cop comedy duo? Not a team up behind Deans back with all kinds of terrible implications of season 6, but a reconciliation of Cas and Crowley, working together for the greater good… 

Originally posted by codestielckles

I hope we see a few small changes, twerks in Dean but not too many, I don’t think they will make him completely different as that is not the story we have been told. It is great now rewatching season 1, seeing the Performing!Dean right from the start, remembering that I noticed it at the time but kind of disregarded it as ‘oh well, that’s just who he is and its kinda sad he isn’t fully himself but thats just the character’ to in later seasons really seeing how this affects him deeply on an emotional level, to have to close himself off, to hide, and THAT is why I’m so happy that Performing!Dean and his ‘dark side’ are being reconciled within himself, to allow himself to be whole and really who he is… to enable his happy ending.

The metaphor of Crowley and Cas is awesome and although it narratively makes sense for both Cas and Crowley to come back (and both be Human) I can see why production-wise they won’t bring back Crowley. However Cas is another matter, his character is much more developed and his relationship with both the boys is completely different.

I feel like now that Crowley is dead, Cas will no longer represent this other side of Dean in the metaphor, now that this metaphor is essentially void.

Cas now can be HIMSELF, Cas is not a METAPHOR for anything anymore, he is his OWN character and I am SO here for that!


Supernatural 12x12

       ↳ In which, Cas is dying, Dean is still as dense as ever, and Sam is just pissed off about his ship. 

This originally was supposed to be a standalone - but I continued it because science. Part 1 (Part 2)


12x03 vs. 12x12.  That time Castiel got resolution on where he belonged.  

That time when Crowley saw Dean’s desperation…

Went to try to ward off Ramiel…

Destroyed an ultimately powerful weapon to save Castiel…

Originally posted by boundbyantiheroes

Turned to Dean… not all of them, not to Castiel, but Dean, when he said “you’re welcome”…

Originally posted by littlehobbit13

And Dean later sincerely thanked him…

Originally posted by yourfavoritedirector

I liked that.
I just wanted to draw your attention to something I noticed while looking at 7 million gifs of this scene

This is Dean’s reaction to Cas’ “you’re my family… I love you” He’s full of pain, but is looking away because that what Dean does with his emotions.


This is Dean‘s reaction to “I love ALL of you.”

Just like us, Dean, has heard the distinction, and realised what that means, that Cas loves him in a manner unique to his love for the other Winchesters.

This is the face of a character who canonically just heard a confession of love. That is a “did he just?” face.


This is “you’re my family I love you” moose, with serious sad brows

This is a “why did he just say all of - OOOOOOOOhhhhh.” lightbulb moose (ill admit, its more distinctive on film than still image)

Let the record show that on episode 12.12, at 31:24, both Winchesters had canonically realised that Cas loves Dean - not as a snarky joke from an enemy, not a awkward misunderstanding of human personal space, not just friends - but real love.

It happened. They saw it. We all saw them see it.

It had better be acknowledged.

Dear rest of the Spn Fandom,

What Destiel is NOT about.

1. Hating Sam/Jared
Okay, I have no idea where this one started, but honestly I don’t care what you ship if you hate on either of my tol cinnamon roll babies, YOU WILL BE FACING MY WRATH. ALL 5'2 OF IT.

2. Hating the women that they were with.
Personally, I love Jo and Lisa. Cassie was just there for an episode, so I don’t really have any opinions on here.
I don’t like Meg for other reasons (her character inconsistency was annoying and her voice got on all my nerves) but hating her just because she kissed Cas is pretty shallow.

3. Two hot men kissing.
Right. This. Look, if the only reason that you ship them is that it would be hot to see them kiss, I’d just like to tell you that YER A FUCKBUTT, HARRY. Other people can probably explain this better, but you’re fetishising a whole community and you need to stop. Now. And get off my blog while you’re at it.

4. Hating on their wives.
This is probably more of a Cockles thing than a Destiel one, but most of the Cockles shippers that I’ve encountered were all awesome people, so I’ll say it on their behalf, we don’t hate Danneel and Vicki, okay? Seriously, why would anybody, when they make Misha and Jensen so happy?

5. Making everything gay/The gay agenda
No. No. Say it with me, no. We do not ship them because they’re both men
We ship them because they have amazing chemistry and it makes sense that Dean and Cas be together. And it would obviously be the bisexual agenda, if it was an agenda. Which it’s not. At all. *Cackles in the distance*

• What Destiel is about

1. Unconditional Love
2. Dean finally realizing that he's​ not damaged and deserves love. Also realizimg that he’s not the perfect manly man soldier that John raised him to be, and that’s okay.
3. Cas understanding that he will always have a home with Dean (and Sam, by extension)
4. Two people who help each other to be better people.
5. Two people who constantly screw up, but forgive each other, because that’s what love is about.
6. Seeing people at their worst, and still loving them. (Dean forgiving Cas after he becomes God and Cas telling him that he deserves to be saved)
7. Unconditional love (I’m sorry, I’ll never be over the “I’d rather have you, cursed or not.”)
8. Both of them, giving up so much for each other.
9. Sticking up for each other

• Obviously I can’t speak for the entire fandom, but these are my views, and generally the views of people that I’ve encountered. Thanks for taking the time out to read it!

A Destiheller