“Whose house in Hell has the better view: yours or John Constantine’s?”
                                                    “Mine. Constantine’s a slob.

Lucifer so tol and John so smol. FOX’s Lucifer should adopt John.

started to watch lucifer last week and i just had to :’P

(i said i dont like or do crossovers but here i am. blame it entirely on that tweet and welsh as vertigo leads cast  wtf)

lovepsychothefirst asked:

Imagine an Adaption of The Princess Bride with the Star Wars cast. OT or PT, what would the roles be and how would adapt it?

Okay, well obviously Anakin is the slave boy / man in black / Dread Sith Lord Vader. (But not the real Lord Vader. Anakin took the title from the man who supposedly killed him, but who in fact took him on as an apprentice; his name was really Dooku. He himself had inherited the title from the previous Lord Vader, who was not the real Lord Vader either. His name was Sifo-Dyas. The real Lord Vader had been retired thirty years and living like a king on Nar Shaddaa. It was the name, Dooku explained, that was important for inspiring the necessary fear. No one would surrender to the Dread Sith Lord Ani.)

Padmé is the simple peasant girl Palpatine picked to be Queen of Naboo. Originally, he planned to have her murdered on her coronation and the Trade Federation blamed for it, thus sparking the war that would bring him to power. But when that fails, he has to regroup and finally decides it’s going to be so much more moving when he has her killed not as an innocent victim but as a martyr.

Nute Gunray has been secretly hired by Palpatine to murder Padmé and start a war (a prestigious line of work, with a long and glorious tradition). He in turn has hired two mercenaries to help him with the task: the former Jedi padawan turned drunken soldier of fortune Obi-Wan Kenobi, and the prospector and prize fighter Dexter Jettster.*

Obi-Wan saw his Jedi master murdered by a mysterious tattooed Sith Lord when he was still a padawan. Now, Obi-Wan loved his master, and so naturally he challenged his murderer to a duel. He failed, but the Sith let him live, and now he has dedicated his life to revenge…and left the Jedi Order to seek it. He’s been searching for the tattooed Sith ever since.

Dex is honestly in this gig for the money, but he’s forever annoying Nute with his horrible dad jokes and puns, and in spite of himself he’s basically adopted Obi-Wan. The guy clearly needs someone to look after him.

Maul is the tattooed Sith Obi-Wan is searching for. He’s been working as Palpatine’s lieutenant all this time. His assistant Ventress keeps his Pit of Despair running smoothly.

Barriss is the Jedi healer who used to work for the Republic, until the Republic’s stinking Chancellor fired her (and all the other Jedi), and thank you so much for bringing up such a painful subject.

Ahsoka is not a witch, she’s her wife, but after what Barriss just said, she’s not even sure she wants to be that anymore.

Yoda is a very impressive clergyman indeed. Because of reasons.


A few choice scenes:

Anakin learning fencing and the Force and anything else people will teach him while playing aide to Dooku’s Dread Sith Lord Vader.

“Good night, Anakin. Sleep well. I’ll most likely kill you in the morning.”


Obi-Wan helping Anakin scale a cliff so that they can have a proper duel. “I see you’re a Sith Lord,” he says. “You don’t by any chance have tattoos on your face?”

“Do you always begin conversations this way?”

Obi-Wan tells his story, after which Anakin graciously removes his mask to show that his face is tattoo-free. And then they fight. It’s all very cordial.


“Why are you wearing a mask?” Dex asks. “Were you burned by lava or something?”

“Oh no, it’s just they’re terribly comfortable. I think everyone will be wearing them in the future.”


Anakin and Nute Gunray have a battle of wits.

“But Sarlaac venom is from Tatooine, and Tatooine, as everyone knows, is entirely peopled with criminals, who are used to not being trusted as you are not trusted by me, so I can clearly not choose the wine in front of you.”


Padmé and Anakin escape to Tatooine (it’s definitely Tatooine), where they attempt to hide out from Palpatine.

“What are the three dangers of Tatooine? One, the lightning sand. No problem. Two, the sarlaac pits. There’s a growling sound that precedes those, so we can avoid them easily…”

“Anakin, what about the WROUSes?”

“Womp rats of unusual size? I don’t think they exist.”

A fight with several womp rats immediately follows.


Padmé makes a bargain with Palpatine to save Anakin’s life. At this point she hasn’t realized quite how awful Palpatine is, but even so, she’s already planning how she’s going to get out of this.

Unfortunately, Palpatine wastes no time at all, and Anakin is turned over to Maul to be tortured. There’s dismemberment involved. When Obi-Wan and Dex find him, he’s a mangled, limbless husk, and very definitely dead.


Or…maybe only mostly dead.

Obi-Wan tries several stories to convince Barriss to help. She finds each of these stories increasingly ludicrous.

“He’s the Chosen One, destined to bring balance to the Force!”

Barriss just stares at him. “Boy are you a rotten liar,” she says.

“I need him to help avenge my master, murdered these twenty years!”

Barriss is even less impressed by this, but she takes a look, and unfortunately for her, Ahsoka won’t give her any peace until she’s brought Anakin back. It takes a lot of doing. Not so much miracle pills as the miracle of modern cybernetics, but hey, it amounts to the same thing in the end.

Besides, Obi-Wan’s promised that if Barriss saves Anakin, Palpatine suffers humiliations galore, and that is definitely a noble cause.


Meanwhile Padmé has a crisis of conscience and goes barging into Palpatine’s office one night.

“It comes to this: I love democracy. I always have. If you tell me I must be your puppet Queen, please believe I will be leading a revolution by morning.”


Anakin, Obi-Wan, and Dex break into the Naboo palace by means of a cunning plan involving a hover sled, Ventress’ lightsabers, and a fog machine they found in Maul’s torture pit. (Look, Maul is absolutely the dramatic type who owns a fog machine. Don’t blame me. That’s just science.)

Rescuing Padmé proves to be the most difficult part of the whole plan, mainly because Padmé has already rescued herself, and finding her is a bit difficult. And then Obi-Wan catches sight of Maul the tattooed Sith, and he’s off on his quest for vengeance.

Meanwhile Anakin still can’t walk that well on his new legs and ends up having to bluff his way through a fight with Palpatine.** Or at least, to keep Palpatine occupied just long enough for Padmé to take him down with a stun blast.

(Anakin really wanted to kill him, but Padmé insists Palpatine has to stand trial. Anakin isn’t convinced; at least, not until she points out that Palpatine living a long life alone in prison with his failures would make a much more satisfying revenge.)


“Hello. My name is Obi-Wan Kenobi. You killed my master. Prepare to die.”


And of course, for maximum irony, this story ends with Obi-Wan becoming the new Dread Sith Lord Vader.


* Okay, okay. I realize Dex as Fezzik is a stretch. But everyone else fits so perfectly and there’s really no one in the PT era who fits for Fezzik. I considered Chewie, but he doesn’t have a connection with Obi-Wan. Obi-Wan apparently has no friends outside of Anakin and Dex. :( So.

** So I wanted to make a joke about “to the pain,” only I realized that what happens to Anakin in canon basically is “to the pain,” which…kinda destroys the humor tbh.

Theatre Tip #1

Can’t seem to be cast in any musicals? Be Lin Manuel Miranda. Write a musical. Cast yourself as the lead. Find Jonathan Groff. Cast Jonathan Groff. Fall in love with Jonathan Groff.
Bryan Fuller's 'American Gods' adaptation just cast its lead actor
British actor Ricky Whittle will play Shadow in Neil Gaiman's 'American Gods.'

Starz’s adaptation of American Gods has finally cast its lead role, selecting British actor Ricky Whittle to play Shadow.

Whittle began his career as a model and soap opera star, but he’s best known to U.S. audiences for his role as Lincoln in The 100.

Shadow leads a cast that includes Odin, Anansi, Anubis and Kali, in a tale that falls somewhere between apocalyptic horror and a roadtrip movie, from showrunners Bryan Fuller (Hannibal) and Michael Green (Kings).


“As a result of Israel’s illegal closure of the Gaza Strip – now in place for an unimaginable 7 years – 60% of Gaza’s population are unpaid or unemployed; 85% of the population depend on food aid distributed by international organizations. The destruction caused during Operation Cast Lead – and in subsequent operations, including the 2012 offensive Pillar of Defence – is still not fully repaired. As the bombs fall, they add rubble to rubble; another generation of destruction. An already weakened infrastructure, particularly hospitals, makes it a struggle for people to cope." 

- Raji Sourani of the Palestinian Centre for Human Rights: Violence has gone on too long – we have lost all hope


Gaza, We Will Never Forget. 


yuri and soohyuk

Dr Mads Gilbert says “every third child in Gaza stunted by hunger”

For many people around the world, Israel’s three-week attack on the Gaza Strip in late 2008 and early 2009 provided a stark glimpse of the reality that Palestinians endure on a regular basis. It was a scene straight from a horror film, a cause for concern and outrage. For others, including Norwegian physician Mads Gilbert, it was a call to action, beckoning solidarity workers back to Gaza’s pockmarked streets.

Gilbert was all too familiar with the scene. A veteran anesthesiologist who had been deployed to help handle emergency medical situations in Palestine and in Lebanon, Gilbert instinctively made his way to Gaza City’s al-Shifa Hospital when the bombing began. His experiences, shared of course by the Palestinian physicians and hospital employees he sought to aid, are still today widely regarded as some of the most testing instances of solidarity work.

Although Israel’s air and land invasion of the Gaza Strip — known as Operation Cast Lead — happened three and a half years ago, its after-effects are still relevant today. Gaza’s infrastructure has yet to fully recover and no one has been held accountable over the hundreds of civilian casualties.

Gilbert’s eyewitness accounts are shared far and wide in order to shed light on these tragic consequences and to encourage others to remain steadfast in their solidarity work for Palestinian rights…


Antonio Faccilongo: Tramadol

A state of conflict generates widespread social malaise. Something like drug abuse, which is already very common in Western societies, spikes up during times of war. Indeed, the hardship that the situation of isolation has created expresses itself in situations where the thin line between rebellion and self-harm causes further destruction or degradation.

Following the December 2008 Israeli offensive, “Cast Lead,” a United Nations survey of Gaza residents found an increases in risk-taking behaviour, including a significant rise in cases of drug addiction. One drug associated with this trend, and the most common in this moment, is Tramadol.

This medicine is an opioid painkiller medication used to treat moderate to severe pain. Addicts take this drug to withstand the pressure of daily life, to feel more alive and happy—but the long-term use of it can cause depression, anxiety and obsessive-compulsive disorder. Withdrawal symptoms can include insomnia, nervousness and significant weight loss. For long-time users, the drug poses the risk of heart disease and kidney failure.

50% of the population between the ages of 18 and 60 use this opiate to some degree. The number of drug users rises to 80% in areas most affected by bombing, like Beit Hanoun or Shejaiya.

There is a wide-spread illegal market for the drug in Gaza. It reaches all the way down into the tunnels beneath the land as well as out into the surrounding waters.

—Antonio Faccilongo

NOW can we call it genocide??

A lot of people get upset when people accuse Israel of genocide. “Israel has the right to defend itself!” they say. But let’s look at this for a minute.

Now, I don’t like holocaust comparisons, because I think they detract from both the Holocaust in Europe and from the current situation Palestinians are facing, but that didn’t stop an Israeli minister from using the term, promising a Palestinian “holocaust” in 2008 ( Netanyahu has called over 70,000 reserve soldiers for a land invasion, compared to 10,000 reserve soldiers during Operation Cast Lead in 2008-2009. If an Israeli minister was marking the beginning of a “holocaust” nearly five years ago, 10 months before Cast Lead even started, then what is it now?

Now, Netanyahu is talking about how easily he can manipulate the US so that he can pretty much wipe out the Palestinians (

Gilad Sharon, son of Ariel Sharon, wants to “flatten Gaza,” and that “There should be no electricity in Gaza, no gasoline or moving vehicles, nothing” (

Interior Minister Eli Yishai said that “The goal of the operation is to send Gaza back to the Middle Ages,” and that they should destroy all infrastructure, “including roads and water” (

So what you have here is multiple government officials and influential figures calling for the complete destruction of Gaza, where about 1.7 million people live. Government officials, with one of the most powerful militaries in the world, are saying this, not just some fanatic fringe group. And what does Hamas have? Some homemade non-explosive rockets that Israel’s Iron Dome can intercept the majority of the time. The people of Gaza have no such protection. This is now well beyond “disproportionate force,” as the UN called it during Operation Cast Lead. They are talking about destroying Gaza, and the 1.7 million lives that go along with it. THAT is what I would call genocide.

First of all, as a card-carrying feminist, I am a BIG feminist, anytime I see women being stars - the stars that they should be, and being featured, and being highlighted, it makes my heart happy.
Because it’s long overdue. Women are great, and funny, and amazing, and smarter than men - for real! - and it’s a reboot that needs to happen. There are SO many good things about that, what can I say? It’s going to be a HIT. And GO LADIES! I’m with you! I can’t wait to make the premiere!
Israel used white phosphorus in Gaza civilian areas

Click the link.

“When white phosphorus lands on skin it burns deeply through muscle and into the bone, continuing to burn until deprived of oxygen.”

This is from Israel’s use of white phosphorus nearly four years ago, during Operation Cast Lead. Guess what, they’re using it again.

Or as a friend of mine described it: “White phosphorous: not your average chemical warfare– this chemical literally melts your skin, straight to your bones, creates sores if it brushes anywhere on your body. Inhalation can create ulcers in your throat and lungs. White phosphorous can paralyze you, breaking down your muscle reflexes. It glows with increased oxygen which produces an intense heat, bright light and thick pillars of smoke. Long-term effects creates a condition where mouth wounds begin to form that are never able to heal and eventually, your jaw will fall apart.”