so you have the batfam, right? and we all know that bruce and clark are in love, so there’s ur superfam/batfam tie in, and since bruce & clark are the “heads” of their respective families, that means that the superfam and batfam are now the superbatfam and are the same thing. following me? good.
and we know that dick is in love with wally, which means that the batfam and the flash fam are tied together, and since barry & bruce love their kids (dont tell me wally isn’t barrys kid i won’t hear of it), an effort is made to combine the bat & flash fam. so the superbatfam and the flash fam are connected. still following?
that leaves jason, who’s in love with roy, and since bruce loves his son but hates oliver and oliver loves his son and hates roy, and also roy hates oliver (and jason hates bruce but like, not really) the arrow and bats combine via dinah, who’s–wait for it–in love with babs. so the arrowfam is tied to the batfam via dinah, who’s a part of the arrow fam whether or not she’s dating ollie, and roy.
roy & jason are, of course, dating kyle, who’s a lantern, and therefore you have the lanterns claiming to be tied to the superbatarrowflash fam, as well. still with me?
and steph & kara & cassie are in love, which is relevant because cassie is in the wonderfam, and diana is bff with bruce and clark and donna is bff w dick, so naturally the bats & wonders are one & the same now.
obvs tim is dating kon & whatnot, but the superfam is already connected, & cass is dating harper–a bat–so now all we have to do is remember that the bats, supers, arrows, lanterns flashes, and wonders are all one big family. still with me? good.
now i want you to close your eyes and imagine the thanksgivings.
Dick: *overly hot guy that like everyone from old wrinkly grandmas to tots are ogling at* *totally plays it off as if he doesn’t notice his admirers*
Barbara: *overly pale one that literally shines white light when the sun hits her* *evidently the nick name blinding ghost was soon created by Jason*
Jason: *swims out to the farthest buoy in the lake and stays floating on top till everyone is ready to go* *if he’s feeling board, he’ll draw on Steph’s back with sunscreen to create annoying tan lines*
Tim: *a shadow blocks out the sun over him* whoever you are, go away, I’m trying to tan my white ass body
Stephanie: *wears revealing swim suit* okay, I’m officially ready to tan my entire body *looks to Jason* don’t you fucken dare ya’ little shit
Cassandra: *quietly slips away from the groups camped out spot on the beach to go play on the monkey bars*
Damian: Let’s play football. Can we play football? How about soccer? Soccer sounds enjoyable. It’s to hot. I disapprove of this outing. The sand burns my feet. That morbidly obese woman is wearing a bikini. This beach is the only terrifying place I’ve ever been too. I'de rather be dead again than be here.
Duke: *slaps Damian in the back of the head* do you actually have no chill?
Tim has Cassandra Cain and Cassandra Sandsmark listed in his contacts as “Cassandra”. He repeatedly calls the wrong girl and has had entire one-sided conversations with both without realizing he called the wrong person. He once called Cass Cain and told her he needed her to keep an eye on the Titans and train them while he was dealing with the Gotham Mobs. The Titans liked her so much they made her an honorary member. Though they were a little confused as to where Cassie Sandsmark was.
Jason rarely pays attention when texting someone which usually has hilarious results. For example, mistaking Harper Row and Roy Harper leading Jason to text Roy for electrical advice and texting Harper asking about who’s hotter, himself or Starfire. Or confusing Cassandra Cain and Cassie Sandsmark which led to Cassandra Cain getting some… weird questions relating to the Lasso of Truth and bondage…
More minifigures from my rampage.
I’ve finally built all the current Bat Ladies (to my knowledge). Every single one of these is custom.
From left to right: Spoiler, Batwoman, Batgirl, Bluebird, and Orphan.
I really like the new Batgirl mask. The detachable hair piece is great.
Tim Drake still does not realize that he keeps mixing up Cassandra Cain and Cassandra Sandsmark when he calls them. After Cassie invaded Gotham, they now just call each other when Tim says something that’s meant for the other one, if they can’t figure out who he was talking to, they just team up. Incidentally, on a similar note, neither Batman nor Red Robin realize that Red Robin is indirectly responsible for the Amazons invading Gotham initially, and deciding to use Gotham as a training area.
There is a gala, and ridiculous playboy billionaire Brucie Wayne grabs little Dickie Grayson by the hands and swings him around in a circle, Dickie laughing all the way. Bruce grins from ear to ear and the media whispers, wonders if this will be the end of Brucie’s shenanigans.
There’s a gala, and irresponsible playboy billionaire Brucie Wayne grabs young Jason Todd by the hands, and Jason stands on his toes and they dance around in a circle, bumping into the socialites and not really caring. Jason is giggling, that high pitched giggle that comes when your voice hasn’t quite changed yet, and Bruce chuckles. The media whispers, wonders if he’ll do better with Jason then he did with Dick.
There’s a gala, and tired playboy billionaire Brucie Wayne sighs as 14-year-old Tim Drake throws mini marshmallows at him. Tim hides behind his father and Bruce flirts with empty-headed girls in sparkly dresses, and nobody sees the secret smile on Bruce’s face whenever he makes eye contact with Tim from across the hall. The media whispers, wonders if Brucie will ever adopt again, he looks like he’s doing better. They don’t see Tim.
There’s a gala, and a softly-smiling playboy billionaire Brucie Wayne grabs Cassie Cain by the hands, and he dances with her around the room. She smiles and he smiles back, and the media whispers, says that Cassandra Cain is so beautiful, and that Bruce is a lucky guy to have her for a daughter.
There’s a gala, and an oblivious playboy billionaire Brucie Wayne stands and flirts with too many girls. Dick Grayson stands to the side, and he grabs Damian Wayne by the hands, spinning him around in a huge circle. Damian suppresses a smile and Dick laughs loudly. Cass Cain and Tim Drake chuck mini marshmallows at them and they don’t look at the shadow posing as Bruce Wayne, but the media does.
There’s a gala, and playboy billionare Brucie Wayne is nowhere to be seen. The media whispers, wonders, thinks of overly scandalous things he could be up to. Bruce Wayne sits in his sitting room, and Dick Grayson is curled against his side, and Damian Wayne is curled against Dick’s, and Cass Cain’s head is in Bruce’s lap, and her feet are on Tim’s, and Duke Thomas sits on the floor in front of them, Dick’s hand loosely draped on his shoulder. A window creaks and Bruce looks up. Jason Todd stands there, looking petrified, and Bruce gestures him over. He does, careful not to wake his siblings.
Batman has currently got his hands full. Nightwing, Red Hood, Red Robin, Robin, Duke Thomas, Batgirl, Spoiler, Bluebird, and The Orphan.
Now obviously the first three don’t really need training or anything. But they still need to spar with people on a regular basis and they definitely need help sometimes. Also Batman feels the need to keep a close eye on Hood in case he starts killing people again.
Robin doesn’t really need combat training, but he needs people-person training, and team-building stuff desperately. They’re a headache to teach. And Duke is a green-horn who needs practically everything plus he’s dealing with the issues surrounding his parents so Bruce has got to keep a close watch on him.
So let’s say, he realizes that there’s no way he can really manage all these kiddos by himself. So he turns over the training aspect of Spoiler, Bluebird, and Orphan to Batgirl.
Batgirl, who is sensible about this sort of thing, looks at these three and is like, “Y’all need one-on-one training, but you could definitely make a great team, too.” So what does she do? She calls up the old Birds of Prey.
They meet in the clock tower. It’s still being used off and on by members of the batfamily (primarily Hood and Batwoman) as a base of operations or just a place to crash when things are rough, so everything’s in pretty good repair (except there are a couple old pizza boxes and half a pack of mountain dew lying around because Tim camped there for a week one time and forgot to clean up).
Huntress and Canary show up, and size up these three noobs. And both of them just kind of look at Babs and think, “Really? You hate us, don’t you.” But they agree, yeah these kids will definitely go and get themselves killed if nobody works with them.
So they do.
Barbara understands (thanks Joker) what it’s like to feel broken and to not know where you fit in with life anymore. So she works a lot with Cassie on figuring out how to interact with people now that she has the freedom to. They do a lot of one-on-one therapy. Sometimes Canary steps in for it too. Babs also teaches Cass the ins and outs of detective work.
Babs also works a lot with Harper because she gets being the older sister, and how much pressure there is to it, while also being a hero. She helps her work out a good hero/life balance, and agrees to check in on Harper’s brother from time to time when Bluebird is patrolling and such.
Canary steps up with Spoiler. She understands trying to prove to the world what she can do. Dinah understands low self-esteem, and how much it can impact your abilities. So she takes Steph out on patrols and the two kick it together their style and Dinah encourages Steph to be her outgoing self, while showing her how to protect herself emotionally as well, and let the insults and the ungratefulness run off her like water.
Dinah also does a lot with Cassie. Mostly sparring, but also helping her find ways to express herself beyond just physical exertion, beyond fighting and dancing and into art, speaking, reading, writing.
Huntress takes Spoiler on a lot. She can relate to having a dad who is abusive, who wants you to follow in his footsteps, and how hard it is to break away from that life and the family you know and do the exact opposite. How conflicted emotions can get, and how much it can still hurt after years and years.
Helena also takes on Bluebird, who needs a little bit more impulse control. When Helena first started out, she was not the best at it, and it got her and others into trouble. There have already been times where Bluebird has made the same mistakes, and Huntress wants to help her avoid making more. Especially since now Bluebird is working on a team, instead of on her own, and Harper definitely feels the weight of that responsibility on her shoulders.