cash rules everything

anonymous asked:

Lieutenants teaching their captains slang from the world of the living.

I decided on this one to just write out the phrase the lieutenants taught them.

Shunsui Kyoraku: “chill son”

Sui-Feng: “bitch whet”

Rojuro Otoribashi: “Hella”

Retsu Unohana: “Bitch step the fuck off”

Shinji Hirako:  “Gucci”

Byakuya Kuchiki: CREAM(Cash Rules Everything Around Me)

Sajin Komamura: “Bitcchh”

Kensei Mugurama: “BOI”

Toshiro Hitsugaya:  “Get your raggedy looking ass outta here.”

Kenpachi Zaraki: “Fuckboy”

Mayuri Kurotsuchi: “ get the fuck out of here”

Jushiro Ukitake: “bruh”

Americans want to know who’s winning. The stereotype holds that Americans obsess over sex, money, and violence, but America’s fetish is not beach-tan cheerleaders or football concussions, it is SportsCenter. Miley Cyrus is replaceable, a People magazine subscription is guaranteed by the Bill of Rights, and Cash Rules Everything Around Me only because you can’t throw a Roth IRA at a stripper. Americans want to know who’s winning. Sex, money, and violence just happen to be the games in which everyone has a score.


I need a name for this style of pontification.