lightforl asked:

Light walked behind L and wrapped his arms around the older's waist. He rested his head on the man's shoulder and looked at the paper L had in front of him. "What are you doing L?"

“I am simply doing my casework Light. What are you doing?” He turned his head to face Light slightly with a soft smile on his face

Caseworkers are grovelling today

I’ll take it.

I stayed up late last night so I could unwind, watched Crazy Stupid Love, and then had multiple dreams with a half-naked Ryan Gosling.

And, magically, got the boys off to school early.

Not a bad start to my day…

i am so fed up with shitty, rude caseworkers. a lady from job and family services called me a couple of times during my cruise trying to conduct a phone interview. i forgot all about it (i saw the missed calls pretty much as soon as we got back into the US and figured i’d take care of it later). she called me a third time today and i finally picked up, but i was in a doctor’s appointment. i asked if i could call her back, and she said “oh, no, honey. that’s not how this works.” i tried to see if she could call again at 4, and she was like, “no. i’m going to be gone then. pick a different time. and if i can’t reach you then, we’ll just cut off your benefits and you can reapply.” i kept apologizing for not having been in touch, and she just said “don’t apologize. i’m not the one who might lose my benefits.” we finally agreed that she’d call again in an hour, but she never did. i’ll bet you anything she just cut off my benefits instead.

#Frustration and #Disability

I don’t often put this kind of stuff out there. But I truly resent people who think most of us on disability or in housing programs get shit “free”. These caseworkers, these programs, they all put you through the worst of hoops. I would give anything to be able to work a job and not have to answer to people who could care less about answering me. But I can’t and often get lumped into a group of people who “use” the system. When in reality I have tried my damndest not to need help. I feel like a number. I feel like I am less of a person because my paperwork says so. Because i have illnesses you can’t “see” or I could just “fix” it or work through it. These illnesses kill my social life, my self esteem, my ability to function “normally”. And then I have to answer to people who think less of me and my intelligence because of it.

This shit is not “free”. It is not a picnic. And I would at times give anything to get it off my back and be a regular, functioning, member of society.

End rant.

I feel like a jerk

I feel like a jerk

Ok guys, this is for you.

If you live in a home with a beautiful bride whom you love desperately, but you fail to do your part of the house work, this is for you.

So we are in a peculiar situation. We have Texas Department of family and protective services in and out of our home at least twice a month. We also have case workers in and out as often. Most of the time their visits coincide but…

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😂😂😂 he taggin
#caseWorkers lmao

Sliding Into Homelessness

I am 21 years old and a full-time student at LaGuardia Community College, working toward a degree…

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Today has been so unpleasant the DMV was actually a highlight.

Calls, calls, calls from caseworkers. And doctors. And specialists. And the school. Half my day was spent on the phone.

BAM’s teacher is beyond frustrated. She called me twice today. She was very professional and nice about it, she just can’t teach her class in the afternoons because BAM turns it into a circus.

Ninja’s mom wants a visit this week, but only on the two days he can’t because of doctor’s appointments. Now I have to supervise a phone call with her and it’s awkward as shit.

I’ve been trapped in rush hour traffic for an hour and a half, 40 minutes late to pick BAM up from his visit. I told the caseworker I could not leave until I picked up Ninja from school. She said, oh with traffic it will only take you an hour. Bullshit. Three hours roundtrip for visit transportation while my medically fragile kids suffer in the backseat (starving and overheated because it’s Texan summer and my AC is stupid) Fucking annoying. The baby is screaming because she’s hungry and she’s all messed up from her visit earlier and was too over-tired to eat before we left and she’s two feedings behind now. I hate visits. Ugh. I’m telling BAM’s caseworker I cannot and will not transport. It’s not fair to the kids. Ninja was injured last time and Caterpillar gets carsick.

Dude. Having three foster kids from three different families is hard. Really hard.

Especially when all three have special needs. I talked to four professionals per child today at least. I’m so so over the phone.

Okay. I’m going to stop complaining now. Thanks for listening.

The Mentalist ♦ 151 Times Teresa Lisbon

54/151 | 3x08 “Ball of Fire”

About the episode:

  • Patrick Jane is kidnapped and Lisbon and the CBI team must go back through years of Jane’s casework to find suspects, only to realize that the list of suspects is extremely long—almost everyone he has ever dealt with might want to harm him.

Teresa Lisbon Quote:

Lisbon: You can go to Hell! And when they kill you, I’m going to be there to watch.

The Kid Called Tonight...

She’s been in residential for about a month. She says she loves it there and is doing well. RFM texted me last week and said she had visited her and she seemed to be doing really well. The Kid didn’t have much to say, just said she missed me and got teary. Then asked me to send some stuff to the caseworker that I forgot to pack. :-\ Its always been so hard to tell with her. 

She seems to be responding really well to residential - she’s always done better with a lot of structure, and there she has no access to social media and the outside world and all the temptations of everything. She needed this months ago and I had been pushing for it. The case manager didn’t think she needed it, but they kept threatening, if you violate again you’re going to residential and she kept violating. At that last meeting when she was totally decompensated they said you’re not leaving us any choice but to put you in residential, and she said maybe that’s what I need. I know they meant well and thought she would de-compensate in residential, but she had been telling them that’s what she needed for months, as had I, and if they had done this six months ago, had gotten her the services that she needed, she wouldn’t have had to spiral down that much (and try too take me down with her). 

But, I know I’m preaching to the choir here. Anyway, if anyone was wondering, she seems to be doing well and is even earning a day visit this weekend with RFM. She said I could stop by, but I have respite kid and I don’t think that’s a good idea. Saturday is her 15th birthday.

Oh - and she misses me, but she really misses “her puppy,” my 8-year old dog who is incredibly gentle and calming and was great with her. 

A self-described work of nonfiction, Berg’s writing builds on his years of experience as a residential counselor in a group LGBTQ (Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender, and Questioning or Queer) home and then later as a caseworker supporting the transition of queer youths as they are “phased out” of the system. As individuals sometimes rendered invisible by both gay and mainstream media, Berg’s project is to inject autonomy and intimacy to their stories so often obscured behind statistics and overlooked by mainstream media.
I Want to Quit

Monday was a very long day here. I returned to work (Inservice) and we asked to have the baby moved. I’m emotionally devastated. Days like these leave me with no emotional reserve. 

We were coming off of the weekend with the sibling set, DS’ birthday, and DH and I literally had not shared a bed since the baby arrived.  Most nights DH was sleeping on the couch with the baby in the Rock n’ Play while I got up with H who is still nursing several times throughout the night. 

The baby’s caseworker was crazy.  We wrote an email 10 days before Monday stating that we needed the parental consent form to move forward with some medical things (i.e. an early intervention evaluation) and were no closer to getting it on Monday than we were the first week of placement (despite there being contact with a bio parent who was willing to sign the document). 

The caseworker was straight up negligent.  Unbelievably so.  She came in to our house during the home visit and accused us of doing foster care for the money.  The rate we were being paid was less than $26/day which is roughly $1/hour for a child that was literally up the entire night and came to us with the onesie he was wearing.  I honestly don’t know that I could put a fair price on that kind of sleep deprivation.  Not to mention, minimally, he was receiving two medical appointments each week.  I also attended court, had the GAL’s office in our home, had two home visits in our home with the case worker, and went to several other appointments. 

The level of care he needed was more than the “average” baby, and we had no issue with that, but we were both feeling incredibly stressed that we couldn’t help him due to the case worker not getting us what we needed (i.e. medical consent), and the amount of harassment we suffered as a result of her lack of knowledge.  She pushed back on us about taking him out of state (she said we couldn’t without two weeks of advanced notice which isn’t true), attending court (she said we couldn’t attend court and we definitely can), changing doctors (I asked her permission to do this and she granted it and then rescinded it after I did all the work to switch him), the list goes on. 

We have never asked to have a placement moved until this week.  It’s weighing heavily on me.  It was his fourth move in eight weeks of life and he’ll move again when he reunifies which should be rather quickly.  I think it’s negligent to have a child moved that many times and I think it’s negligent for us to ask for it, but we also have to protect our license and I felt like she was going to accuse us of something before long. 

also today when i was waiting at the doctor i glanced over at my caseworker and she was on her phone and guess what i saw

that’s right


god damn it

Mind blown. Two major updates

I finally met with her long-term caseworker and actually learned about her case. Most likely, parental rights will be terminated. Everything I heard up to this point was that the non-offending parent would get her back in 6 months. Nope. Neither parent has been attending classes, and neither parent is doing any parenting during visits.

There is court on September 9th, they will be contesting 2 kinship placements. One will likely not pass, the other will IF kin changes their story. Originally they said they could only care for Caterpillar short term, but CPS makes you give an 18 year commitment.

My mind is blown. I’ve been told this whole time, “parents are doing great! Visits are going so well!” Wtf?

His caseworker called me. Her words, which also blew my mind…
“I apologize for all the confusion in this case. I have gotten in trouble with my superior and would like to take this moment to apologize and accommodate your schedule. I will be there at 12:45 tomorrow to pick up BAM for his visit. Does this work for you? I will be transporting from now on. Is there anything else I can do for you?”

I mean, this caseworker was shit. BAM was shoved in a shelter, all of his possessions were taken there, and his mother doesn’t know ANYTHING about the case. So good. I’m glad you’ll do your job now.

2 days until court

Caseworker says foster baby might be leaving that evening. But maybe not. Have his bags packed just in case. 

I’m doing okay so long as I can not think about how scared he’ll be. He’s been with us since he was a week old. Everyone else is a stranger.

But he’s still so little. He’ll adjust. It’s just a little more trauma, right? I don’t know what to do for him. I don’t think there’s anything else I can.

I just hope he’s safe.


Film Review - Grantham & Rose

Grantham & Rose is an enjoyable film that I seriously did not understand until the very end. It is one of my Netflix picks this month that I mentioned in 3 New To Netflix Selections - August 2015. In the film, Rose (portrayed by veteran actress Marla Gibbs, of classic television shows such as The Jeffersons and 227) takes Grantham (portrayed by Jake T. Austin) on a road trip that is more than he bargains for. They meet via a program for “at-risk” boys that Rose volunteers at; Grantham is there because he acts out in response to the pain of years without his father (who passed away) and dealing with his mother who is sick with addiction. Grantham gets into a fight while at the program and can’t connect with his caseworker Erik (portrayed by Ryan Spahn); Rose steps in to help him.

At first I wasn’t really feeling the portrayal of Rose. It felt flat and teetering between the stereotypically “sassy” older Black woman and the “giving affection where it is not returned” mammy, a controlling image. Her interest in Grantham does not make sense at first and the fact he agrees to a road trip with her seems awkward considering age (he’s 17, she’s 81), gender and racial differences, along with having a very new connection. Grantham and Rose meet Wallis (portrayed by Tessa Thompson) at a gas station along their road trip to Atlanta. It’s clear that Wallis is used to manipulating people to get what she needs, and manipulation via her beauty; there’s a scene where she uses her beauty and sexuality to shoplift. Grantham invites Wallis to come along on their road trip, as her car broke down. Rose consistently comments on Wallis’ appearance and I got uncomfortable as a Black woman myself; it gave me “older church/community mother insults the young sexy Black woman” vibe. A lot of history with the politics of respectability informs this for me, so some viewers probably will think nothing of it; I don’t have such a luxury. I already felt Rose’s depiction teetered between stereotypes of attitude and unrequited emotional labor; Wallis enters with a flat portrayal of sexuality; I started to get a bit worried about where the film was headed. However, I decided to remain patient and see if there was more to the film. After all, the film’s press materials contain the quote “it’s the journey, not the destination” and I was still curious about what journey Grantham and Rose would actually take.

Although the characters start off a bit stereotypical, over time their moments of silence within their interior thoughtssuch as in the photographs above when they all shared a meal after a while on their road tripand moments of time when the three aren’t together, really help to illuminate who they are, beyond simplicity individually or an awkward connection together. These moments include: Grantham calling his troubled mother, something that caused him real pain; Wallis laying down alone thinking about her difficult life that she jokes through while around other people, yet quiet tears fill her eyes when alone; Rose getting choked up while she is alone after reaching Atlanta, watching Grantham visit his father’s grave. Even as the characters became more real for me and the conversations shared on the latter part of their journey illuminated who they are, the overall connection still didn’t click for me at this point. However, the idea that Grantham’s and Rose’s connection is not happenstance did at this point; after all, he found a photo of his grandfather among Rose’s things.

When Rose reveals that she had an affair with Grantham’s grandfather, left the shared home (Rose’s family worked for Grantham’s family 2 generations prior), and gave the child they conceived away, I realize that they are actually related; Grantham’s deceased father is Rose’s lost child’s half brother. At this moment, everything fell into place for me. This is a film about motherhood and what becomes of hurt mothers and hurt children. Grantham ends up in an “at-risk” program because his mother’s illness makes her unfit; he’s ultimately been raising himself since his father died. Wallis meets them on happenstance because she recently lost a baby and is disconnected from her own mother. Rose gave her child away decades before and takes out her own anger at herself from this decision on Wallis. Their journey is connected by the pain and what is left when motherhood is difficult. They share the same story regardless of how different they are. And, Grantham learns how to like someone close to his age, since he spends so much time caring for his mother, he had no real peer or romantic connections before Wallis (though I am glad that they did not make it sexual because he is 17 in the film; she is 24). 

What makes this film great is the resolution at the end. It’s not all perfect; Grantham leaves his mother so that she can become who she needs to be, but making this choice sets him on the right track. Wallis decides to reconnect with her mother, hopefully a helpful way to overcome the pain of a miscarriage. Rose decides to reach out to her now adult child that she gave away. They all make choices directly connected to reconciling painful motherhood. And it is their journey that really mattered here, the individual and collective healing they all needed. Healing is definitely a difficult journey; their destinations are in fact a starting point for new journeys. Despite a rocky start and some obvious stereotypes, the film blossomed into a kind and caring picture and an interesting portrait of how motherhood is not just about mothers, but in fact everyone they touch. 

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