cascade pearls

Her Own Knight in Shining Armor

Author: meemzdisaster

Summary: (Cannon – Blank Period) Where Sasuke tries to surprise her but ends up being the victim of Sakura’s temper.

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto

Prompt: SasuSakuFest Day 2 – Insecurity

Comments: Enjoy! This is the first time I’ve written something during the Blank Period. It got a bit too long, and I got a bit too tired… Regardless, I hope you enjoy. This is my first writing a fighting scene so apologies for not being super creative ~ Can you tell I didn’t proof read? lol.


It has been almost a year and a half since the Fourth Shinobi War, and it is a time of peace. Villages are being rebuilt, and advancements in many different areas are being made. It is also the first time since the war that Sakura has ventured so far from her home village.

She walks down the busy street holding groceries. Her tied up hair flows with the breeze of wind as Sakura walks towards the apartment given to her by the town.

The lock on her door clicks, and she steps inside not bothering to turn on the light as the sun is still high up in the sky. Slipping off her sandals, she walks over to the kitchen and places her groceries accordingly. The eerie silence unnerves Sakura. In Konoha, she is used to Naruto’s loud voice telling her to go eat at Ichiraku or Ino nagging her about a girl’s night out because she hasn’t gone to one in so long.

Keep reading

Temporary Affairs II

Table of Contents 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13

Chapter 1o.  Friends Not Foes

A month passed in the blink of an eye.  The first few weeks back from the hospital, you barely stepped foot out of your house, fearing that if you came in contact with anything in the outside world, you’d somehow get into an accident and lose Yoona.  However, with Jongin encouragements, you finally stepped out to go on a short date with him to the super market. 

At the market, your preggo cravings went haywire.  You wanted curry, but then when you got to the curry aisle, you wanted swiss cheese, but then when you stood in front of cheese, you wanted tomatoes, in front of tomatoes you had the urge to regurgitate, so finally Jongin knowingly grabbed a few sweet potatoes.  You clung onto his arm happily.  That night he transformed into Chef Kim Jongin and baked the most delicious sweet potato pie you’d ever eaten (it wasn’t bitter either, though you did kinda reminiscence that bitter taste). 

 

Another two weeks flew by.  Since you were completely healthy, you had been babysitting Youngwoo again.  Oh, how much that little guy had grown since the last time you saw him.  Every time he giggled, or babbled, or squealed, or cried, Yoona would respond with gentle kicks.  They are so getting married when they grow up. 

As you rocked Youngwoo back and forth on the cradle to lull him to sleep after feeding him, the doorbell rang.  Your eyebrows furrowed, not quite expecting any visitors.  Pressing the “automatic” button on the cradle, you slowly got up from the rocking chair and waddled your way to the front door.  A tall graceful female, with short wavy milktea brown hair and large shiny eyes, stood before you.   

“Minyoung-unnie?” you asked, surprised to see one of your father’s business partner’s daughter. 

“________ah?  Why are you here?” she asked, her eyes bloodshot. 

“I’m babysitting for the owner’s son,” you explained.

“…Oh…” she replied, sniffing back tears.

“Uh…Unnie, are you looking for someone?” you asked.

“For Sehun.  Is he here?” she questioned.  Wait…they know each other?  What a small world…

 

“Um…He went to work actually…but do you want to come in?  I can get you some coffee and we can catch up?” you suggested.

She hesitated at first but gave in when you tugged on her sleeve. 

As you waited for water to boil, you observed Minyoung, who was awkwardly sitting on the living room sofa with her eyes darting all over the place.  Could she be Sehun’s wife?  No, of course not, because the photos on the picture frames were of another woman.  The water boiler screeched, breaking you from your trance. 

You placed the mug on the coffee table and took a seat on a chair opposite of Minyoung to give her some space and to better see her expressions throughout the conversation.  The older female fidgeted around nervously, causing you to awkwardly clear your throat. 

“So…________ah, I didn’t even get to congratulate you on your marriage, but it seems I can say congratulations twice on the double happiness,” she said, referring to your pregnancy. 

“Thanks, Unnie,” you thanked and patted your belly, “less than two months to go”.

“You always managed to beat Unnie when it came to milestones…” she said. 

“Heh…” you laughed anxiously, “that’s not true…actually Unnie, weren’t you discussing marriage plans with your boyfriend?  How is that going?”

The smile dropped from her face.  Crap, did my potty mouth say something I shouldn’t have said, again? 

“…We…He…He found another woman…” she stammered, her eyes brimming with tears. 

“Whut?!  How?  Who is he?!  Tell me and I’ll kick his ass for you!” you fumed. 

Yoona kicked you to remind you to calm down so you took a deep breath.

“Oh Sehun,” she replied, staring onto the floor. 

Your body stiffened in place and your face paled.  What…wait…hold up….hold up.  You mentally separated yourself from the room to analyze the situation.  Sehun has a wife…then does that mean Minyoung Unnie is the mistress??  You raised your brow at her. 

“Sehun?” you asked, “as in Youngwoo’s father?”  No, duh.  Why else would she be here.  Being pregnant has made you a dumber person, _______ah.     

She nodded; tears ran down her face like cascading pearls.

You knew you were in no place to judge or grill her for any more info but the curiosity within you was so tempted to find out the rest of the story.

“…But for all I know…he’s married?” you cautiously said. 

Her lips trembled.  She self-consciously took a sip of the coffee. 

“Unnie, you don’t have to tell me anything you’re not comfortable telling me,” you reminded her after witnessing her distressed form.

“S-Sehun and I were together first…” she sobbed.

You looked up from the floor to her and from the wrinkles of her temples or the pink edges of her eyes, you had no excuse not to believe in her words.

 

“So Sehun cheated on you…?” you warily inquired.

She shook her head violently, “That’s not it at all.  I…he…she…they accidentally slept together and she got pregnant”.

“Whut!?  How does one just simply accidentally sleep together?!” you blurted.

You were so confused.  You thought Sehun and his wife were the victims, now they just sounded like a group of liars and con artist. 

“I believe him,” she said confidently then whispered, “…so I waited for him to return to me after she gave birth”.  Wait…did Minyoung Unnie chase the girl away?  That…would explain why she willingly left Sehun and Youngwoo…

 

Oh be-jeez lou-weeez, you were getting more and more confused.  While deep in thought, you unknowingly bit into your mug.  You don’t realize until the pressure caused milk to splash up and onto your lip.  Embarrassed, you grabbed a few napkins to clean up the mess.   

“…but he doesn’t love me anymore…he loves her…I don’t know what to do.  ______ah, can you teach me what I should do?” she pleaded. 

For a moment, as you observed her, you had to do a double take because her state reminded you of someone else you knew…but you just couldn’t quite get a grip of who…    

 

“For the longest time, I kept telling myself that Sehun was just stuck in a bubble…that one day he’d realize that he still loved me…” she confessed.

Throwing the soaked napkins into a trash bin, you exaggerated a sigh and advised, “Unnie, don’t wait anymore,”

She looked up at you with watery eyes.  And in that moment, instead of Kim Minyoung…you saw Lee Sohee.  You blinked a few times to shake away the illusion. 

“But I still love him…” she reasoned. 

You narrowed your eyes into slits when flashes of Sohee stared back at you.  Shaking your head a few times, you cleared your throat ready to play the “bad cop” who would lay out the truth to her.   

“And you still will for a while…but I think…or at least from what I know…Sehun is really in love with Youngwoo’s mother.  He’s going to wait for her no matter how long it takes for her to return,” you began. 

“But what if she doesn’t return…oh it’s all my fault…I pushed her away…” she cried.

Your expressions softened upon seeing her in full remorse. 

“She will return,” you said with determination, “because no mother is able to leave her own flesh and blood forever”.  Just like how I won’t be able to leave you, Yoona.  Unconsciously, you rubbed your tummy. 

Minyoung didn’t say anything nor move for a whole minute and you do not force her.  Suddenly, Youngwoo’s cries sounded from the baby’s room so you excused yourself to check on him.  When you returned to the living room, Minyoung was gone.  Panicking and fearful that she’d do something rash, you pulled your phone out to give her a call, but a bright pink sticky note on her coffee mug caught your attention. 

“________ah, thank you for listening to me.  I think I know what to do now.  I’ll try to let go of Sehun because only this way, I’ll be able to let go of myself.  Thank you.  Please tell Sehun that I wish him and his wife the best,” the note read. 

You sighed in relief, placing the sticky against your chest.  Haha!  _______ah!  You’re on a roll!  Maybe I should be a therapist one day ;p.  You waved your arms in the air and did a silly celebratory dance.  However, midway, a glimpse of Lee Sohee popped in your brain and you halted in place.  Your smile dropped.  If you thought about it…her case was very similar to Minyoung’s.  She and Jongin were dating before you came into the picture and basically stole him away from her.  If someone tried to steal my boyfriend from me while we were deeply in love, I’d fight her to death too.  You frowned.  For the first time, you discovered yourself sympathizing with her.  You weren‘t exactly commending the way she handled things and not to mention – almost caused you a miscarriage, but you pitied her and felt her pain.  Conflicted, you slouched down onto the comfy sofa to rest.  But Yoona started to kick this familiar kick you nicknamed “Lovers’ Quarrel” because you swore every time she did that, it was a precursor that Youngwoo would cry in…

Five…

Four…

Three…

Two…

One…

“Waaaaaaaaa  Waaaaa…” the little boy cried.  Yep, these two are getting married in the future. 

 

“Coming, Little Prince!” you shouted and waddled into the room with a baby bottle in your hand. 

—–

On a sunny October morning, Jongin took the day off to spend time with you because you had been nagging him to get you these panda bear onesies for Yoona.  You were pleasantly surprised when he returned with not one, but three panda bear onesies – one for Mama bear, one for Papa bear, and one for baby bear.  Gahhhh $Q#$Q#$# my hubby.  This is my hubby biotches, seriously move over thissss is MINE!  You jumped up and down…or what you thought was jumping but was really just bending your knee mere two inches because your huge belly prevented you from lifting yourself from the ground.  Elatedly, you held the costume up to your body and stared in the mirror.

With a cheesy grin, you tiptoed and planted a big smooch on Jongin’s cheek.  He smirk, satisfied with his reward for the hard work he exerted getting the costumes. 

“Thanks Oppa,” you said, then patted your tummy and said in a baby voice, “Thank you Appa!” 

Smiling his starry eyed smile, he held his arms out to hug you and that’s when you finally caught sight of a plastic bag looped around his left wrist. 

“What’s that?” you asked. 

Gasping, he immediately hid it behind his back.  That only made you ten times more curious, so you chased him down.  But he was so stubborn, using his usual tactic of holding his hands high up in the air and tiptoeing so that you were too short to even touch the object with the tip of your finger. 

Pouting, you crumpled onto the edge of the bed and pretended to cry.  That should do the trick.

“Jagiya, you suck at acting,” he laughed.  You stuck your tongue out at him. 

Suddenly, a light bulb switched on in your head.  Internal evil cackle.

“Ow.  Ow,” you whimpered tearfully whilst clutching on your stomach. 

You pretended to sob and wheeze for air. 

“Oppa…” you called out, holding out your hand. 

Stunned, Jongin fleetingly sprinted over to you.

“Where does it hurt?!  Let’s go to the hospital.  Are you in labor?!” he asked in one breath. 

Slyly, you wrapped your hand around his wrist and snatched the plastic bag.  Ehehehehehehehehe.  Jongin gave you an unimpressed look, got up, and angrily slammed the bedroom door on his way out.  You jumped at the resonating sound of the slam and swallowed in guilt.  Uh oh.  Handsome husband is mad.  Discarding the plastic bag, you immediately got up to find your husband. 

You discovered him on the front balcony.  Biting your lip, you cautiously tiptoed over to him.  When you were mere inches from him, you slipped your arms around his waist from behind.  But he ignored you so you playfully danced your fingers along his abdomen.  Still, he doesn’t move nor acknowledge your presence. 

“Oppaaa,” you said in a high-pitched voice. 

His lips flattened into a thin line. 

“I’m sorry…” you apologized, kissing his back. 

To your relief, his muscles unstiffened a little bit but still he made no move to forgive you for your inconsiderate prank. 

“I know I’m always so childish and I always do things without thinking…but I didn’t think it’d be that big of a deal…” you explained, still clinging to him. 

Jongin turned around, detaching you from him and scolded, “Not that big of a deal?!  You and Yoona are the most important people in my life.  Don’t tell me that it’s not that big of a deal”.

Biting your lower lip until you tasted metal, your body shriveled up and your eyes looked down onto the floor, too ashamed to look at your husband in the eye. 

Above you, you heard a loud sigh and then his long arms pulled you into his chest.  You tried your best not to be a crybaby but tears just kept pouring out.  

“I’m sorry…I don’t know what I was thinking…” you hiccupped. 

Jongin placed his chin on top of your head and held you close, “Shh…I’m not mad at you.  You just scared me earlier.  I didn’t mean to take my anger out on you”. 

But you bawled harder because he was making it sound like he was wrong instead of reprimanding you like he should. 

“Aigoo, Jagiya…if you keep crying, Yoona’s going to turn out ugly,” he joked. 

But it worked.  You immediately forced yourself to be quiet.

“Good girl,” your husband complimented and petted your head as if you were a little puppy, “Now, let’s go see what’s in the mysterious plastic bag”.

He took your hand and dragged you back into the house.

“Wait, you’re gonna show me?” you asked.

“Eh…it was supposed to be a surprise but I don’t mind showing you now,” he remarked, holding the bag in front of you so you could look inside. 

Hiding your excitement, you unknotted the straps and stuffed your head into the bag to see the contents.  Inside were a few more panda bear onesies that were the same size as Yoona’s. 

“Wh-what are these for?” you asked, scratching your head, confused as to why Yoona would need so many of the same exact onesies.

Beaming, Jongin reached over and took the costumes out one by one and laid them out on the bed.  On each of the backs were embroidered words that read, “Big Sister #1”, “Baby Rockstar #2”, “Little Pooper #3”, “Teddy Bear #4”, “Monggu’s BFF #5”, and “PeeWee #6”.  You stroked them longingly.  Oppa really wants six kids…and yet back in the hospital he was willing to give up this dream for me… You sniffed back tears.

“D-do you not like them?” he asked, disappointed, “I’ll return them”.

“I love them,” you replied throwing your arms around Jongin. 

—–

On a Sunday afternoon, just weeks from your due date, you had the sudden urge to paint so Jongin drove you to the art gallery to cure your temptations or as you described, “itchy fingers”. 

“They do itch!” you said defensively as Jongin dug through the cabinets for your paint. 

“But won’t paint cause them to itch even more?” he asked, his head stuffed in a cabinet while he attempted to gather up the colors you listed on a piece of paper for him. 

You grabbed an old bottle of paint on your easel and pointed to the label, “Non-toxic!” 

Jongin jumped down from the ladder and carried the bucket of colors over to you. 

“Thanks Oppa,” you smiled like a little kitten up to him. 

He ruffled your head, his lips mimicking your cheesy grin. 

“What are you going to paint?” he asked, scooting a chair next to you so he could watch you do your magic.

“Hmm…I’m not sure yet.  What do you think I should draw?” you asked, hoping he was more inspired than you. 

“Erm…I would take this red,” he twisted the cap off the paint tube and squeezed a bit onto his index finger, “and paint it here”, he hovered over the blank canvas but U-turned and tapped his finger on your nose. 

You gasped, “Kim Jongin!  That paint is expensive!” 

But just as you said it, you also grabbed a paint tub, squirted a bit of green onto your finger and dabbed it onto Jongin’s forehead.  Laughing, Jongin took another color and painted bright pink swirls on your cheeks.  You took a black, mixed it with blue and colored under Jongin’s eyes.  Hehe.    

“Jagiya, where’s the yellow?” he asked, holding his hands out like spider fingers so that the colors didn’t mix.

“Oh, here, I have it,” you handed the paint over.  He squeezed a bit onto his pinky and lifted it up to your cupid’s bow.  You scooted over so it’d be easier for him.  He drew on a yellow mustache. 

Giggling maniacally, you took neon purple and drew a few dots on his face.

“What’s that supposed to be?” he asked, curiously.

“Moles,” you replied.

You tried so hard to contain your laughter but Jongin’s deadpanned face was seriously the best.  Cracking up, you almost face palmed out of habit but stopped yourself when you recalled that your fingers were now the color of the rainbow.  Jongin leaned in to give you a kiss but you shook your head giggling while motioning with your hands to tell him that the paint wasn’t dried yet.  So he kissed the only bare part of your face – your lips.  It was so romantic that you could have melted into a puddle but you couldn’t stop laughing and laughing at how Jongin tried so hard to not transfer paint from his face to onto yours.  Suddenly, the doorbell jingled, forcing you two to part ways. 

“Welcome!” you said, standing up to greet the customer but Jongin immediately pushed you to stand behind him.  The paint from his hands smeared all over your shirt.  

“Why are you here?” he barked.

You tiptoed to see who had made your husband lose his cool.  Lee Sohee.  Her gaze landed from you to Jongin with a sad smile.

“Can I just talk to _______?  Please?” she pleaded.

“No.  You may not, didn’t I make myself clear last time?” your husband said firmly.

“Oppa…” you called, wrapping your colorful hands over his arm. 

“I…I just have a few words I’d like to tell _______,” Sohee was persistent and for some reason, you really thought she was being genuine this time with her words.   

Angered, Jongin stalked over, opened the door, and half-threw her out.   

“Oppa!  Noo!” you said, rushing over to stop him.

“Jagiya, she’s just going to try to hurt you again!” Jongin said, trying to stop you from being over-compassionate. 

“I don’t think she will,” you responded.

“Oppa…” Sohee started then cleared her throat and corrected, “Jongin-ssi, is that who I am in your perspective?  A liar?  A tramp?  Someone who’s always up to no good?” 

“Yes!  You are.  You almost killed my wife and daughter!” he hollered back.

“Kim Jongin!  Chillax!” you hissed.

He looked to you in disbelief, “This woman made you almost lose your life and you’re gonna forgive her?”  You men won’t understand.  Le sighh 

Sighing, you softened your tone, “Oppa, can you get me a towel and make two cups of coffee for us.  We’ll be in the patio”.

“Jagiya…but…” he tried to persuade.

“No buts,” you responded firmly then turned to Sohee. 

Her eyebrows caved in worriedly and she suggested, “If…if you don’t trust me, you can tie up my hands”. 

“That won’t be necessary.  Sohee-ssi, let’s go out to the patio to chat”.

She sat down awkwardly, fidgeting around in the seat, glancing back and forth as if a wild coyote would jump on her any minute now.  And for the moment, she reminded you of Minyoung when she sat anxiously in Sehun’s house.  With your face now clean and fresh, you took the seat across from her.  Awkward silence enveloped you two for the first time that you almost wished you two were screaming and biting at each other’s necks. 

“I…” you both said in unison.

“Oh…you first…” you both said in unison again. 

You shook your head laughing and she giggled along. 

“I’m sorry,” she finally said.  And you should be…

 

“I am as well…” you replied.

“W-what?” Sohee stuttered, probably because she expected you to flip out on her, “W-why…why…would you be sorry?  I almost killed you”.

“You did…” you agreed, nodding but continued, “and that’s something I’ll always remember Lee Sohee so don’t you dare try to get out of this without repaying me with at least a hundred packs of diapers…”

She looked at you as if you grew horns on your head so you gave her a smile so she knew you were joking. 

“…I don’t understand…why are you not mad at me?” she asked.

“…Maybe it’s because I almost died and I almost lost my baby, that I discovered so many things including that fact that my husband really, really, really does love me…” you replied, sniffing back tears.

Sohee hung her head, “I always knew he loved you too…I just…” her voice cracked and a tear fell down her cheek, “I just wanted some way…any way to comfort myself and keep myself hoping that he would come back to me”.

“That’s why I owe you an apology,” you reasoned.

She shook her head, puzzled by your rationale.

“When I looked back, I realized that you were the ultimate victim of this so called “triangle” love affair.  You and Oppa were happily together and because of me you guys broke up.  You must have hated me to death – and rightfully so”.

“I didn’t hate you…I was jealous of you,” she admitted. 

“And I was jealous of you as well,” you also admitted. 

She looked at you bewildered at your confession.  Then with a sigh, she dug into her purse and took out a pen – not just any pen, Jongin’s pen – his farewell gift from his late grandfather.  You gasped.

“You had it all along?” you asked.

“Yeah…I’m sorry…I knew it meant a lot of Oppa but I selfishly kept it thinking that by doing so, I’d always have a part of him with me,” she explained, holding the pen to her chest. 

You looked down onto the table, unsure of how to react. 

“But I don’t want it anymore because it was never mine to begin with.  So I would like to return it back to the rightful owner.  ________ssi, are you willing to accept this back?” Sohee questioned, sliding the pen across the table to you. 

Throwing her a gracious smile, you nodded and said, “Thank you”. 

At this point of the conversation, Jongin entered the patio with a tray and two mugs.  He placed one gently in front of you and the other carelessly in front of Sohee.  A little bit of the coffee splashed out onto the table from the rough impact.  You narrowed your eyes at him disapprovingly.  He looked away but stayed beside you.  Sipping your warm milk, you waved your hand to shoo him away but he gave you a look that read, “I’m staying here!”  And you responded with an expression that said, “No you’re not!  Get out!” 

“No!  I’m staying here!” Jongin protested out loud. 

Across from you, a sad laugh escaped from the female’s lips.  You both turned to look at its owner. 

She said, “You two really are a match made in Heaven”.

You could almost hear her heart break.  She got up to leave.

“Sohee-ssi!” you called to her.

She turned around and replied, “Thank you for your forgiveness.  Please take care of Oppa…Jongin-ssi for me”. 

A tear rolled down her face and you had to look up to blink back yours.  She dashed off.  You tried to run after her but Jongin pulled you back.

“Oppa…” you complained, “Please, can you go talk to her.  Just one last time for closure?”

“Why?  Why are you being so forgiving to someone like her?” he questioned bitterly.

“‘Someone like her’?  Oppa, what are you trying to say?  At one point in time, you loved her.  ‘Someone like her?’  You mean someone who loved a man so much she was willing to turn into a monster to get him to just look at her again?” you lectured with your fingertips pointing at his chest to emphasize your words.

“Jagiya…” he said.

“Please, be the man that I fell in love with.  That Kim Jongin I know is not a cold-hearted jerk,” you reasoned.

With a defeated sigh, he released your hand and ran off to chase after Sohee.  By the time you arrived at the scene, they had finished chatting.  Sohee’s face was swamped in tears as Jongin extended his arms to hug her one last time.  Instead of feeling jealous like you had expected, there was a sense of contentment that lingered in your heart.  When they separated from the hug, you slowly walked over to reunite with them.  Jongin automatically laced his fingers through yours.

“Thank you ________, I can trust you to not bully Oppa, right?” Sohee spoke, wiping away her tears.

“Well…I don’t know about that…” you joked.

“Yeah, don’t judge her by her tiny frame, she’s super strong,” Jongin teased, pinching your nose.  You crinkled your nose and Sohee giggled. 

“I can’t believe I’m saying this but you two are really cute together,” the older female complimented.

“Thanks,” you said then continued, “I hope one day you’ll find a man who will treat you well too”.

“I definitely will and when that happens, I’ll come back and make you regret choosing Jongin-oppa and tying the knot with him so fast,” she joked.

“Can’t wait for that day!  But he’s a keeper,” you responded, clinging tightly to your husband. 

You looked down to see Sohee had extended her hand out.  Exhaling, you smiled and shook her hand.  With that, she turned around and left.  You sighed, watching as her silhouette grew tinier and tinier until she was just the size of an ant.  I really, really hope you’ll find your happiness too, Lee Sohee.  Hwaiting!    

      

 

a/n: ~stations army in bushes outside of patio~

~narrows eyes with pens position to throw at Sohee~

~tears start to form as the two ladies have heart to heart conversation~

~pens, markers, crayons fall to floor~

~army retreats, sobbing~  இ_இ

Yay The Lucky One characters guest starring again :D!  I think they show up one more time!

And my favorite chapter tmr hehehe.  (Can you believe there are only 3 more chapters?)  Be there or be square!!!!!!    

6

There is a deep and undivided bond between art and the feeling of pain (दुःख), of sorrow or melancholy (वेदना, विष|द). And deep down it embeds an oftenly undefined feeling of joy (सुख), perhaps a very curious chemistry! A true work of art touches your heart where mind meets without really explaining or analyzing the peculiar phenomenon. It is said, the poet’s acquisition (उप्लब्धि) is obtaining a greater pain than herself! Interestingly, उप्लब्धि would also mean perception. On the other hand, अनुपलब्धि would mean nonperception, which according to the Mimamsakas, is one of the instruments of knowledge (ज्ञान). There is no coming to consciousness without pain, said C.G. Jung. Jung also brings about the perception of ‘darkness’ (One does not become enlightened imagining figures of light, but by making the darkness conscious) and that inevitably reminds me of Mani Kaul’s film Satah se Uthata Aadmi (1980) and Gajanan Madhav Muktibodh’s epical poem "Andhere Mein" (In the Dark), which the film so intensely evokes and invokes. Like the poem, the film touches in me a layered feeling of pain, of melancholia. It has forms of pain, more than one, दुःख का प्रकार ! 

As referred to earlier, I also intensely felt a layered feeling of pain while watching Kaul’s Satah se Uthta Aadmi. In his epical poem, “Andhere Mein”, Muktibodh wrote: 

Deep under the surfaces of the earth, the poet sees a dark solitary ancient cave and a wide hole in its dark bottom. Piercing the darkness, stones shine, and on irradiating radioactive pearls cascades a mighty waterfall […] They are jewels of thoughts like blood-red fire, dissolving every moment in the cascade of life and water…

And the poet hears the moist bustle of the rays in loneliness. Perhaps underneath Kaul’s film, we hear the moistness of sound, the moisture gathered over several संसार and civilizations. And the layers of दुःख का प्रकार. ||दुःख||

AMRIT GANGAR, Mani Kaul: DU: KH ke Prakar

Scattered Pearls

“Love. It felt like a falling raindrop scatter on a trembling leaf then roll of its tip in a cascade of pearls”
Prabhukrishna M
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