cas should totally do this

anonymous asked:

Can you do one where the whole spn family are having a battle on who can write the best destiel fanfic behind d+cs backs, until castiel finds out and outdos them all? Smth really meta and cracky/sappy with many examples of fanfic? Pretty please!

Wow, I dunno, you may have to twist my arm- no, what am I saying? I would LOVE TO. This is gonna be so much fun.

For the sake of the fic, Charlie is alive, and as thanks for helping their father, the angels and reapers worked together to create a portal where dead friends can interact with the Winchesters and even pass things back and forth. Think a gilded mirror about the size of a serving platter.

“Alright, Moose, you ready?” a voice called.

Sam looked up from his file in time to see Jo slide into a chair at the bar in front of the enchanted mirror in the Roadhouse heaven. He grinned, setting his research aside as she straightened the sheets of printed paper, her brow raised in challenge.

“Hold on, Charlie is gonna wanna hear this. Charlie!”

The deceased hunter rolled her eyes. “There’s not a single coffee shop or truth curse to be found in this version. She won’t like it.”

“Sounds droll and out of character already,” Charlie quipped, grinning happily as she came to drape over Sam’s shoulder and wave. “Hi, Jo! Let me guess: hunt goes wrong, Cas gets hurt, Dean gets weepy, love confessions ensue?”

Jo snorted. “No, that’s how Andrew typically thinks Dean and Cas will get together. Honestly. It’s like you don’t know me at all. My scenario has them totally as aBAMF power couple on the battle field, corpses of their enemies everywhere, town saved, and people cheering.” She slid the papers through the frame for Sam to take, continuing as the pair of them read, “I mean, if Dean and Cas are ever going to get together, it’s probably going to be in the euphoria of a battle won, one they never thought they could, and where, in their excitement, one of them accidentally kisses the other without thinking about it.”

“I still say it should happen when one of them walks in on the other naked in the shower!” another female voice called.

The mirror shook a little as Jo slapped her hand down. “That’s because you are a pervert, Pamela! They deserve better than that!”

The sultry brunette slid into the frame, arm snaking around the blonde. She winked at Sam. “Well, I’m not saying they have to have sex right then. I’d allow them, oh, ten minutes.”

Charlie chuckled in his ear, and Sam threw up a hand to cover his eyes.

“Oh, God, guys. What have I said about my brother, sex, and nudity? We have rules for this. It’s the first rule, actually. I have enough mental scarring.”

“Prude.”

Charlie tapped the story of Jo’s. “I love the way Dean grabs handfuls of Cas’ coat and yanks him forward. That’s beautiful and gives me joy.”

Relenting, Sam nodded. “Yeah, I like that, too, and it sounds like something Dean would do once he finally reached a breaking point.” He arched a brow. “It’s entertaining, but I still think my story of him nearly dying of sexual frustration while Cas stretches and does yoga after a run is much better and far more likely. Eventually, Cas is GOING to notice the way Dean’s eyes glaze over and his brain stops all functions involved in walking or avoiding furniture.”

Pamela laughed and disappeared from view, calling back, “See? My story of sexual passion giving way seems all the more likely.”

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Sam Winchester’s Internal Monolgue

I wrote this for my own amusement last night whilst thinking about what must go through Sam’s brain on a regular basis in regards to Destiel. This is the result of lack of sleep and alcohol. I am sorry. I have no idea what this even is. Its a bit long so i put it under a read more…

‘Do you seriously think I don’t see it Dean?’

‘You are not fucking subtle’

‘Guys, it’s not normal to stare at each other like that’

‘I’M RIGHT HERE’

‘Okay I’m leaving.’

‘Urgh I am doomed to forever be surrounded with unresolved sexual tension’

‘You guys need to fuck this out I swear to god.’

‘I don’t even care you know’

‘Shit Dean do you think I CARE?!’

‘Oh crap what if he thinks I care?’

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