cas has been doing the same thing and his love is reciprocated~

CASTIEL AND HIS SACRED OATH - 12x10, 12x12, 12x23

This scene here. This split second glance is so so important. I don’t know why people aren’t talking about it (I couldn’t even find any gifs of it and had to take pictures coz I’m computerly incompitent). But I wanted to give my own analytical response to this millisecond glance, because I think it demonstrates properly why Cas has never done anything about his feelings for Dean. 

First, some context from my behalf: I always assumed Cas had never admitted his love for Dean for one of two reasons, 1) he was an angel, therefore not quite understanding his feelings himself - perhaps confusing them with familial love, Dean style. Or 2) he was afraid his love may not be reciprocated. But after watching 12x10, 12x12 and 12x23, I can thoroughly rule out reason 1. 

Now, I’ll be talking a lot about 12x10 as that ENTIRE EPISODE and THIS LOOK are so closely correlated. 

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anonymous asked:

I just realized after Sam tells the kid about how he knew he was lying because his eyes darted to the side, we got Billie later on asking Dean what he wanted and Dean's eyes dart to the side and he says free the ghosts. Which. Okay. We knew that's not what he really wanted anyway but I just thought it was a funny little thing. Probably coincidence because he does that eye darting all the time BUT I found it interesting nevertheless :D

Yeah, it could be he’s just shifting uncomfortably given that he’s been put in such a position and he probably didn’t have a pre-decided list of demands, or he’s just thinking about what he can ask for. Or he’s thinking about what he CAN ask for, and thinking about what he WANTS, and what he needs. 

(And Jensen could have been making Dean shift around like that for any number of small reasons as silly as that’s just how you act when someone asks you a direct question with a hard answer and since you’re not going through the actual situation yourself you just act some mild discomfort to add some depth to it all… So I’m really just interested that you brought up the line to me and this happens as a bonus that other parts of the episode call out intentionally or not :P) 

Aside from that little moment to think about it he gets to his answer pretty quickly, but the hunt is on his mind and all he was trying to do - why he even got himself in this state in the first place - is because he wasn’t thinking of himself as anything more than a means to free the ghosts anyway, even if it meant using himself as a disposable tool to do it >.>

But Billie asks what he WANTS and that’s such a loaded word in the show’s language because it’s got the whole need/want thing going on with it, and just last episode Cas was being called out for saying the Winchesters NEED him. 

And the whole weight is over here on Dean who started it all by saying he needed Cas instead of that he loved him, and for some weird reason that’s spiralled into a massive seasons-long call out on him not using his words rather than just being like yeah okay good enough still shows you care… (no, i have no clue what they’re implying with that :P) 

TBH I’m kinda laughing now because I was talking about Benny calling out Dean on need/want in 10x19 in Dean’s subconscious, and saying how it was basically what Cas went through in 13x04 in terms of having that relationship questioned about what they actually want or need from each other. And how it’s affected them not to know. 

And now you point out Billie asking Dean what he WANTS, and she’s giving him all the opportunities to use his position to ask her for all the stuff he always asks for when they cut all these deals with her over and over. Which basically means she was expecting him to bargain with family, because I don’t think she was expecting him to be that nihilistic and selfless, and I think she was expecting to go several rounds of warning him about consequences and the natural order, and I think that’s what tipped her off that he’d changed. Not that he was asking for the ghosts heroically, but because he had lost all hope.

It probably isn’t a coincidence he gets asked that exact phrase right now in the middle of all this, basically. It’s a very clearly identified theme in the show which has enough repetitions that I think it’s a stock phrase by this point along with stuff like “did what I had to do” or other things. Declaring you’re “needed” basically demands the question “but are you wanted” and lines like the 10x19 one make it clear we’re meant to think of them together, and that “I need you” isn’t good enough, that “want” is a more powerful and honest word.

So Dean not “wanting” anything more than the ghosts saved is a sign for us, as well as to tip off Billie, that at the very least his true desires have taken such a pounding lately he just doesn’t know what he wants any more, and another sign of his depression that he doesn’t even have the hope to ask for anything he might want personally. 

I think asking for the ghosts is very selfless and I kind of love him for it, but there’s layers to everything and the surface level gesture is much sadder when you look below the surface and ask why he DIDN’T answer the question of what he wants with anything more personal. One of those things where Dean making deals for his family is actually more a sign of him being at least normally messed up rather than utterly hopeless and mechanically acting the part of the hero…

It also makes an interesting need/want kind of thing because if the expectation is he should ask for Cas back (and dramatic irony demands he does because if he had Billie would have told him no, like 11x17 with Sam, but again, that’s assuming he’s functioning somewhat normally - the dramatic irony is dependant on the fact Cas is back and we know it since last episode and returning at the end of the episode, not anything wider like Mary has been alive all along - that’s the dramatic irony of Billie sending him back when she does after he asks). Then we have Cas being what he “wants” back here. At the end he says he “needs” a win, and we get the framing of Cas coming back being that win. 

But of course that just frames Cas as being needed rather than wanted again… Which in this context isn’t bad because it’s supposed to be the baseline return to form and even if things look different the other side of all this nonsense for them, they have to actually address their issues and so starting with Cas still feeling like he’s needed rather than wanted, and Dean getting Cas back because he said he needed an abstract thing Cas could do for him rather than emphasising why he WANTS Cas in particular… It’s stuff for them to build on. Take them back to the start but maybe they have better tools to communicate it now or a better understanding of themselves.

Also, super tangent now but just thinking about how there’s an uneasy tension between whether Dean would ask for Cas or Mary or both (and I do think as I said this would be the Cas moment and when Dean asks about Mary at the end would be obviously the part about her, just looking at the narrative threads going into each moment and how they serve it - one about want/need and then one about Dean’s hope.) This feels kind of interesting because it’s making me muse on how Cas and Mary last season ran parallel storylines and this season they are again are being put side by side for Dean. He *could* have been asking for either of them, but Mary and Cas are running parallel lines but *mirrored* to each other, and to Dean and how he relates to them. 

Mary is a character he “needs”:

Dean, you gave me what I needed most. I want to do the same for you.

But being the parent, that’s a completely different direction and being a family relationship and they’re dealing with missing childhood connections here…

We can get it right this time. But I need you to fight.

Right now, I need you to fight.

I need you – I need you to look at me, Mom.

I need you to really look at me and see me.

Mom, I need you to see me.

That sort of need is a very different type because of the different level of emotional connection between them. That Mary has been missing all this time but it was what Dean would benefit from a relationship with her that he NEEDED, that fills all the broken bits in his psyche, and children can be dependant on parents in a different way, that it’s the one direction that this goes in that anyone actually ASKED for, aka Mary wanting children vs Dean being forced to be Sam’s parent. Dean needing Mary is okay, and the problem is that she’s not giving back to him, she’s ignoring him in this scene and it’s metaphoric for his wider feelings about her.

Not actually sure I saw anyone actually analysing the “need”s in this speech before and don’t let me get into the web of parallels between what I generally refer to as the Crypt Scene/Swan Song parallels for their most notable moments… Gah :P 

After months of musing on it since around 12x17 (which I think was the final straw for me :P) I think I’ve decided one side is revelations about feelings and the other is affirming bonds which were always there but tested… the UNCERTAINTY is the difference because no one would doubt that there ARE bonds of love between the Winchesters, they just heap great big piles of issues on top of it, while it’s more about reciprocation of feelings in the bundle of nonsense I’ve labelled crypt scenes… But I guess to say, that it’s again about need/want but in a different way where the family bonds are testing need and the others are testing want. 

Need broke through in 8x17 but it wasn’t enough to keep Cas (which was just the set up of the episode anyway regardless of the line change, but I think the core of why a lot of people agree with the change and that Dean truly wasn’t ready to say it, especially when season 8 ends up being just the beginning of this arc), and by the next cycle through it had become about need and want. In 9x22 Cas “needed” the angels more than Dean to accomplish his goals (aka redeeming himself to and fixing heaven, which had motivated him all through season 8 and 9 and was not an insignificant part of his character stuff), but picked him because of emotional connections. In 10x22 Cas’s speech comes from a place of want, not need, making clear it was eternal devotion to Dean not a need that becomes inconvenient when Dean gets too murdery and has to be flung into the sun as Dean ordered. And so on. The call out on the language begins after the themes have had time to adapt to the change in 8x17 and exploring the possibilities in the language this opens up. The 10x19 call out of need/want was serious thematic foreshadowing of a reverse crypt scene because the language is so tightly connected.

Anyway. To use Mary as the “needed” character, but in a way that is emotionally sustainable because she’s Dean’s mother and legitimately can offer that bond without it being messed up, and that’s the actual ideal character resolution, it bounces off Cas that Dean’s going through similar issues but with “want” instead… I’m going so far down this tangent now, but in 12x03 Cas backs off and lets Mary “have” the guys because he thinks they need her more, that she belongs with them because she’s more obviously NEEDED, because of the assumed possessiveness of being a mother to them, again, in a way that isn’t BAD for Mary’s dynamic with her sons, but can’t possibly compare to how Cas actually relates to them and it’s a false equivalence where he puts himself in “need” rather than “want” that makes him back out and leave… when you’re dealing with Dean’s messed up sense of want and need of the people around him, thinking he needs one more than the other is so dangerous (and probably the source of a lot of fandom fighting :P). 

Cas feels like he’s the least needed of all of Dean’s family, but he’s actually the one Dean WANTS the most.

Because “want” is also the free will choice to CHOOSE to invite someone into your life. I mean it’s the found family dynamic. They WANTED Bobby as a father figure and he had no obligation to them to be it and they didn’t have an obligation to be good sons to him but given the messed up dynamics with the father who NEEDED them to be that and they NEEDED him, being able to choose family was huge for them. Anyway, Cas understanding that he’s WANTED, that Dean is including him in the family because he wants him to be there and not because he’s useful, would be an enormous moment of understanding for Cas, since his arc has been all about feeling like they only need him for his powers, and all the offers for him to be family and to stay to not stick yet because he’s too uncertain of HOW he’s required to be there. 

And I think with Amara’s line of Mary being what Dean “needed” most, with 12x22 having Dean say he “needs” her so many times, and the need/want thing being something that ties so much into how Cas is constantly feeling like he’s ~only~ needed and that being needed is a negative thing for him, with “want” being the offered better option… When Billie asks what Dean WANTS, the language of the show deeply supports that the answer would be “Cas”. The parallel structure of Cas and Mary to Dean also means that Mary gets covered later which means the earlier moment can be about Cas. AND Cas has lived in the negative space of pretty much every question or moment Dean’s been remotely challenged about this since he died.

I’m pretty sure all these layers would hold up to scrutiny, anyway >.> 

Dean is in love with Cas, didn’t you know?..

Ok. So, we all know it’s hard enough admitting to yourself and to others that you’re not straight. But when you’re in love with your best friend, moreover a supernatural being, moreover someone who can be so very clueless about the subtleties of expressed (human) love, it makes the struggle of self-acceptance that much harder, and the journey towards a certain and open relationship with that person that much longer.

With Cas returning (and the upcoming Cowboy ep sending Destiel shippers into a frenzy of feels and anticipation), I’ve been seeing a lot of *Dean is Bi* posts, pointing out all the evidence of his Bi-status over the years. And I’m reminded of the mixtape scene, and how later seasons have seen Dean emotionally mature, and how his relationship with Cas has veered away from ambiguity and become clear: It’s strong, it’s vital, it’s worthwhile, it’s real. 

In 12.19 The Future, Dean was mad at Cas for ignoring him and Sam. But he pushed through it, because Cas was back - and that’s ultimately what he wanted. He wanted them to be together, for Cas to be safe and home, and for them to be fighting on the same side. So Dean forgave as best he could.

But when he realised Cas had used him, the pain of that betrayal intensified because of how he did it (which Dean sort of refers to with Sam, saying, “He came into my room and he played me.”): Cas came into his room, Dean thought, to make ammends. But it turned out he was just scouting for the colt, so everything that went down - the mixtape handback, their conversation - Dean suddenly drums up to a ruse. 

Now, normally someone using him like that would rightly piss Dean off. And when it’s someone he cares about (like Sam) there’s hurt mixed with anger. But this time he was betrayed not only by someone he cares about (and who supposedly possibly maybe hopefully obviously cares for him too) but someone with whom Dean shares a profound bond, someone who represents how much he’s grown emotionally speaking, how he’s begun to open his friggin’ heart and allow himself to accept (true) love. His relationship with Cas represents positive change in Dean. 

What Cas did basically perverted those feelings. He made Dean think their love wasn’t real, or that Cas didn’t respect it, or at the very least that Cas was blind to how deeply his actions would affect Dean - make him question his self worth once again, that maybe he was a fool in allowing himself to truly love someone, moreover in thinking someone could love him in return. Did Cas even care, or did he just not see it? And which is worse?..

Just when it seems like our boys are taking a step forward together, shit happens or one of them fucks up and suddenly Dean staggers - or is pushed - back several steps on his road to self-acceptance and welcoming love into his life.

The further down that road Dean gets, the more likely he is to admit his feelings - not just significant because they’re for a ’man’, but because of what those feelings actually are: truly deep fucking love. That’s big for anyone. And for him it’s brand fucking new. He’s never had that before - not with Cassie, or Jo, or Amara, or even Lisa

The Mixtape = I Love You (too).

Cas has been wingless and driving around since season 9, his car being the place he would likely listen to Dean’s mixtape. But keeping in mind that he’s returning it, I figure that means it was a recent thing, because why suddenly return something from so long ago - which, btw, would have raised a red flag in Dean. 

I like to think Dean made the tape for Cas after 12.12, wherein Cas told him/them in no uncertain terms that he loved him/them - he said the actual fucking words - and that’s big - first time BIG. But also because their relationship seems always to skirt that profound and obvious truth, all the while still conveying how much they mean to each other in a thousand acts of care and selflessness and sacrifice, and in words of fondness and forgiveness and need. 

So.. Dean hears the big confession and feels the urge to reciprocate, to let Cas know he feels the same, that those feelings are not one-sided. Because to do nothing after such a brave and meaningful act would be bad, to put it plain. It may translate as Dean ignoring Cas’ feelings, or him not caring. It would risk Dean losing Cas, him thinking Dean didn’t feel the same, so he would take a step back, distancing himself from Dean both physically and emotionally - and Dean didn’t want that, not again. No friggin’ way. 

But.. Dean is Dean. And he’s not ready to say those BIG three little words just yet - and truthfully, maybe he never will be. So, if he can’t muster the words he’ll let his actions speak for him, and let music say what he can’t.

[ cue a lovely parallel to the tale of how Dean’s parents got together from 12.01 ]

When Cas played him, it happened in a moment that featured Dean’s mixtape-love-confession, so that deepened the hurt something awful. Damn right he’s gonna shove Cas up against a wall - and were it anyone else who betrayed him he might’ve hit them. (And that wall-shove parallels 5.18, when Cas shoved Dean against a wall to express his anger and disappointment over Dean’s betrayal.) 

But even if he wanted to, Dean couldn’t hit Cas, because his love persisted - despite the hurt - and stopped him from harming his angel. His heart stopped him, and beneath all the pain there was relief in that moment, because he was reminded how much he’s overcome - his darker self, his darker times (The Mark of Cain, being a Demon, and all the way back to torturing souls in Hell). He didn’t let his anger win. Instead, he let reality sink in and part the way for a little bit of comfort: because even though Cas was reckless and inconsiderate, there was consolation that at least he was safe

Whatever doubts had been triggered about Cas’ feelings for Dean in this whole mess, at least Dean now had the chance to get to the truth. And if it turned out to be yet another misguided attempt by Cas to “help” or “save” his friends, at least they had the chance to work through it, to get past it, because at least Cas was still alive. 

There remained a little spark of hope in Dean that refused to die, refused to give up on them, refused to believe that Cas didn’t care, because as long as Cas was alive, there was hope

* This has been a Destiel/Dean appreciation post

The Facts

Request: “Could you please do a supernatural Castiel x reader. Where castiel is acting strangely and after a awkward conversation with the angel, Sam works out he is in love with reader. Dean and Sam encourage Cas to tell her. She is shocked but overjoyed. Thanks love your writing”

Pairing: Castiel x Reader

Word Count: 1682

Warnings: None

Originally posted by teamfreewill-imagine

The sun rays flickered through the line of trees, the Impala’s roaring engine becoming more comforting as you became accustomed to it. The wind blew your hair in every direction, twisting it into tendrils that flew in the air, flicking your face with tiny stings that made you giggle. Castiel watched you smile to yourself, your hand hanging out of the window, your fingers stretching through the fast airstream that passed over the car going about 100 miles per hour.

Cas started going over the little facts he knew, trying to distract him from the blissful scene that took place right beside him. Again, the car was going about 100 miles per hour. 103 to be exact. It was 3:52pm, and your moving bodies were travelling along the Mayfair highway in Arkansas, at this second to be at a latitude of 35.2010 degrees North, and a longitude of 91.8318 degrees West. In about 4 minutes and 23 seconds it would start to rain, but would only spit down for 54 seconds before the small cloud evaporated and the sun reined the skies once more.

He recalled these facts with ease, his angel capabilities aiding him with a limitless supply of useless knowledge. But there was one fact he couldn’t push from his mind, no matter how many others he tried to pull over the top of it.

It was the fact that he was in love with you.

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Betting on Red

Pairing(s): Castiel/Reader

Prompt: Imagine wearing dark lipstick, and when Castiel says it makes you look intimidating, all you say is “good,” which makes him take you right then and there.

Author: WFBI

Reader Gender: Female

Word Count: 5,400+ (I am so sorry.)

Warnings/Tags: Smut, swearing, dirty talk, oral sex (giving and receiving), power dynamics (mostly dominant Cas/submissive reader, hints of dominant reader/submissive Cas), slight praise kink, slight heel/lipstick kink.

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anonymous asked:

Hi! Ive been really confused about the whole Dean Cas relationship. Like I know Dean cares for Cas deeply but it's no where near what Cas has done for Dean(giving up everything he has) So like am I not noticing something here or like is their dynamic like that?

I don’t think relationships should be measured by what one gives up for the other. I think it’s something the show accidentally imparts with all the dramatic self-sacrifice but it’s something the show has also been trying to dismantle since season 8, with the plot thread of showing the codependency between Sam and Dean as unhealthy instead of something to glorify, and attempting to move them to a healthier place with more people to rely on and less dependence on each other to the point of ceasing to function when the other is dead.

I’m sorry to keep going back to @superspecpod but maybe it’s just because it’s out loud meta so the words stick in my head differently, but I’m remembering them talking in the most recent (”super lost plotlines” or something) about how Cas would want to see Dean sacrifice for him in a way for the narrative to show us Dean cares as much for Cas as he does for Sam, and as Cas does for him. But at the same time really really don’t want it for Dean’s sake because it will be putting him in a really bad place, regressing his dependent tendencies back again but putting them on Cas instead of Sam, and just be another character development mountain to climb.

I think it’s also weird that the way the show has been telling it, things swing around about how much we think one or the other loves more desperately than the other - I remember reading season 8 meta that was deeply upset or addressing deep upset that Dean seemed to love Cas enormously but Cas wouldn’t reciprocate and was there a chance Cas would EVER seem to love Dean as much as Dean loves him? 

I also think that as of 12x19 the show is officially starting to convey that Cas’s give it all up for Dean over and over pattern is just as bad for him as Dean’s similar problem with sacrificing for Sam, so the fact Cas keeps on doing it is a problem he needs help with not a way that he gestures he loves Dean so much more.

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edenial  asked:

After 12x19, do you think the season will end on a mutual love but separation kind of note for Destiel or do you think it'll be glossed over and bro-zoned like they usually do? I'm positive it'll be something other than "no homo" because Dabb wrote the finale and he is known for giving satisfying Destiel moments, but I'm kinda also afraid they will keep it low-key to the point of nonexistent because studios? Love, Eden 💕

2. So according to your chart, did we get our break up moment yet?

I’m going to answer these two together, and urfg I wish I had the patience to wait til I got home and do it justice but I really want to answer now so… here goes.

I was just thinking and noting down on another post about how I do believe it will be a “happy ending” or as much as it can be in SPN by series end, but that means there will probably be heartache and pain between now and then, because that’s how stories work.

I believe most likely by entire series end we will have TFW heading up a mol/hunter teacher training group, using mol tech and knowledge and hunter morality, probably free will factoring in MASSIVELY in that finale, Destiel, Saileen and the end of bro - codependency in a healthy positive way, whilst still being generally together, just less “on top of each other” and unhealthy.

Regarding Destiel this kind of then has to factor in backwards from the series finale if it is going to be endgame, which I believe it will be (well, I was like 95% sure, with 5% leeway for production reasons stomping on it, now a part of me is actually wondering if it’s 5% stomping still, but actually another 15% maybe Dabb changing SPN into this “better way” script between now and endgame and maybe even getting it earlier…. who knows at this point, it’ll be so much clearer in 12x22/23 where Dabb is leading us and what his aims are!).

I was headcanoning before 12x19 that we would get a CHOSEN separation in 12x19 i.e. It would be down to their own decisions, they’d probably have a big argument, then a true realisation and textualisation of feelings for Dean between 20-21, a ‘reconciliation’ ie they’re brought back together again by plot points in the finale and a FORCED separation in the finale, probably with one or the other making a relatively unambiguous show of their feelings.

Therefore this whole part of the story is the break up.

This is because I was thinking old school SPN - that they ‘just can’t have nice things’, that Destiel is so obvious now they cannot be in the same room as each other without a chaperone for more than 30 seconds without it being SUPER romantic (and boy did 12x19 prove that right!) and that the goal wasn’t to have Destiel before endgame so therefore they HAD to be separated.

Then as you know the part after this is the “winning him back” phase which makes a lot of sense too because Dean DIDNT reciprocate Cas’s “I love you”, he has been upset of course but basically towards Cas has been quite cold since 12x12 (see the 12x15 phone conversations) - until 12x19 of course but he is STILL hiding behind Sam in all his “we’s”, STILL hiding behind Cas is FAMILY and family - zoning him etc etc so he HAS to work on himself and have his realisation lightbulb moment (even if so far it seems he is currently having something of a sort, it’s still not strong enough given his words to Cas) and then work to win him back.

So really Dean NEEDS this realisation arc, aided massively by Mary I believe as the extension of Amara, who I meta’d about loads being the exposition of Dean’s feelings for Cas in season 11, bleeding into season 12 and boy do we see Dean’s facade coming down this season, it’s GLORIOUS, and Mary is a huge part of that.

So seeing that leaked confrontation between Dean and Mary? And the fact the episode is called “who we are” - and I think Mary will also be honest here about herself, I feel like this is exactly what we ARE going to get between 12x20-22….

This whole season has been showing Dean’s facade coming down and lo and behold his feelings for Cas seem much more obvious too, funny that!

At the same time the more we advance with season 12 the more I see this other side from Dabb, the “better way”, happier ending etc so I’m also open to this idea that perhaps this season finale won’t end in separation but a kind of “happy” interim ending with other aspects being the problem for next year.

BUT with all of what’s happened already validating my theory so perfectly I’m very interested to see what happens now in these interim episodes before the finale… as I’m more than open too to have been massively misdirected as Dabb does love a bit of that ;) overall whole series arc though, I mean, it seems clear to me that this is where it’s headed.

Short term though it SEEMS to be setting up for a separation at season end with season 13 set up similar to early season 7 and 9 (which would make sense with the current season 6 and 8 parallels) with Cas separated from them and Dean in a total mess, more obviously romantic and finally a brainwashing / crypt scene rehash but stronger and much more Destiel heavy. Or could this all be crammed in to the season 12 finale? Then they’d end this season together….Maybe…. that’s the “happier” option and only would work if Dabb is going to really go to town on this “better way” and totally new version of SPN moving forwards between now and series end.

I’m still tentatively confident in my first reading though. But hey idk I literally just love stories and love this show and make up theories, I’m not privy to any inside information!

But as to whether this is all just misdirection or if it may bleed into season 13 is interesting… there are just so many options because there are so many different storylines all converging and we don’t know Dabb’s short term goals even if I’m relatively sure of the long term ones.

Also, if this does happen the break up thing is going to be this whole arc from 12x12 - whenever the crypt scene / whatever happens in season 13 to get Cas back. The break up doesn’t mean just an argument or whatever, it’s the whole part of the story where they are separated and realise their feelings and have to work to get back together…so it can be very long especially in SPN where plot points that last 10 minutes in a movie can be dragged out over whole seasons!

Dabb loves mirrors and subversions and there have been so many misdirections I am not certain of anything short term.

Except the baby will NOT be inherently evil, Mary and Dean’s confrontation is going to be SO KEY to Dean’s future arc until endgame, Destiel is real and will be important moving forwards and Cas has to either regain his free will IF he is currently brainwashed or show textually that he has his own free will.

anonymous asked:

Hello, I'm sorry for this question, but it is torturing me. Cas's confession. He was in the end (and still made the hardest part), and neither Sam nor Dean didn't vocalize a reciprocate. I know they are stayed and fought, but Cas do the same for every soul. For me now no matter who will tell Cas that he's loved. He deserves to hear an answer to his words. I'm sorry, feelings .


So yeah I suppose it is a good point here that whilst Cas was all “I love you” to the boys, and in 12x09 as well he confessed using HIS WORDS how he felt for them, the Winchesters have never really CLEARLY stated “Yes, We love you too.”

The thing is, there are two really good reasons why this hasn’t happened yet.

1. The boys tend to find it very difficult to vocalise their feelings outside of situations where THEY THEMSELVES are dying. (See Sam in 8x23, Dean in 9x23 etc) even then it isn’t so much a “I love you” as an “I’m proud of us” 

They both instead show their feelings with actions. The fact that they refused to leave Cas to his death in 12x12 proved their love for him. This was further made obvious by Cas’s reaction to Dean’s refusal to leave…

(gif source)

LOOK AT THIS! God bless Misha’s superb acting here because the EMOTION in his face says it all.

So I think Cas got the general idea of what the boys were saying with their actions at that moment. This is always the way with them. Dean especially shows love through his constant worry, mother-henning, choosing others over his own life (that’s a big one), that’s just how Dean is. He’s not one to sit down and talk about his feelings voluntarily. He’s not going to pat on a chair beckoning Cas to sit down so he can take his hands and give him a speech worthy of Hugh Grant in a Richard Curtis movie.

2. Cas is a master of self destruction, and whilst Dean and Sam have shown their love for him with their actions, and he has seen that as shown above, the chances are he can still talk himself out of believing it. We have an episode coming up which will once again focus on Cas, this time on his future in a way (if the pattern of the Cas episodes adds up), therefore, the fact that we now have had TWO episodes where Cas has confessed his love for the Winchesters without a verbal response? well, three times is a charm and I am expecting (and desperately hoping as well) that we will get a THIRD verbal confession of love from Cas to justify his actions/express himself due to some horrid situation or another, and that this time, he will get a verbal response from them (Dean more than likely) confessing that his love is returned.

Okay, yeah so perhaps this is wishful thinking. Dean actually saying the words “I love you” is probably a long shot, but damn if I don’t think its about time that Cas got some verbal confirmation from Dean or at least a freaking DISCUSSION about what went down in 12x12. 

The pattern fits, the way this story is structured means it only makes sense that this confession is coming. I just hope its what we have been wishing for and not a poor platonic version that will leave us (and Cas) still feeling slightly hollow. 

We can only wait and see.

Do You Believe in Soulmates? Part 4


Summary: Reid comes into terms with his feelings for you and you start to avoid him. Morgan figures out about the genius’s feelings for you and tells him to gets a move on before someone else catches you. However, all feelings have to be put on hold as a case comes through that is nothing like any cases the BAU team has ever seen. 

A/N: Please reblog and like if you like this story! 

Thank you so much to everyone for all the support that you guys have shown me. I really almost gave up on this story as I have been going through a rough patch and kind of lost motivation. It was your support that gave me the motivation to keep going so thank you so much for liking and commenting! I love you all!!!

Pairing: Spencer Reid x Reader

Fandom: Criminal Minds, Supernatural Crossover

Warnings: Angst, some talk about the case, a bit of gory details. 

Word count: 2,608 a bit longer than most of the other parts. Sorry not sorry :)

Originally posted by loving-criminal-minds

“Spence slow down, what did you say?” JJ asks, trying to listen to her friend over the music of the bar. “Hold on I’m gonna head outside.” She excuses herself and goes outside, the cold air hit her face like a ton of bricks but being filled with the warmth that the beer she drank earlier JJ was not bothered. “Now tell me that again.”

Reid took a shaky breath and paused for a couple of seconds. “I’m in love with (Y/N), and I’m terrified.”

JJ immediately felt a wave of contradicting emotions go through her, she was at first jumping for joy that her friend finally came to terms with his feelings, but then she was also scared of why it was making him terrified. She was also kind of disappointed because you had left earlier with a handsome man that seemed to be in love with you, was Reid too late? Will his heart be broken again? Will he just deny his feelings for you later saying that you were just his best friend, leading you to have your heart broken?

“JJ, you still there?” Reid whispers, she could tell that he was crying at this point.

Her heart broke for him, she quickly replies, “Yeah Spence I’m here. Why are you terrified?”

“JJ, she’s my best friend and I’m in love with her. After I left the bar I followed her and the guy, they seem so happy together Jayge. I want her to be happy, but I also want her to be with me. She has been through so many bad things and still manages to smile. She was there for me through everything, she still comes to my place whenever I call her, whether it’s 2 in the afternoon or 2 at night. She’s been such a good friend to me and now I’ve fallen in love with her,” Reid pours his heart out while tears escape his eyes.

“Reid, I don’t see what’s wrong with the situation,” JJ admits confused at the situation.

“Don’t you understand? JJ come on, you saw how she looked at the guy, and how he looked at her. They’re so in love with each other, he’s in her apartment right now as we speak. They’re probably having sex, and tomorrow she’s going to want to talk to me about it. They’re in love, and just like how I talked to her about Maeve, she’s going to want to share his feelings about him with me. I want to say that I’ll be a good friend and listen to her but I’ll probably distance myself. Then she’s gonna rack her brain over what she did wrong, about why her seemingly best friend will no longer even look at her. She going to be so hurt and knowing her she’ll confront me about it and in the heat of the moment, I’ll confess that I’m in love with her. After that JJ everything will change, she’ll distance herself from me, she won’t look at me and my heart will break into a million pieces. Now, do you understand why I’m terrified?” Reid exclaims letting out his deep fear of losing you to his coworker. “I can’t lose her JJ. What do I do?”

JJ takes a deep breath and says, “Spence, just because they seemed like they were in love doesn’t mean they are. You know that sometimes when two people who are very good friends interact it can come off as being in love. Also, just because they’re in her apartment together doesn’t mean they are sleeping together. Reid, you are worrying yourself over a bunch of assumptions, just wait til tomorrow to find out what actually happened and then you can panic okay?”

“Alright,” Reid agrees.

Needless to say, Reid didn’t get any sleep that night, the thought of you being with another man raided his mind. The thought of someone else caressing your soft skin made him furious. You were his. You belonged to him and he belonged to you.

You had about the same amount of sleep that Reid did. Though your skin wasn’t being caressed by any man and you were furious at everything. Reid was yours. Heaven’s decided that he belongs to you and you belong to him, you have no say. It felt wrong and you wanted nothing to do with it. At the same time, the thought of you being with Reid, the love you have for him finally being reciprocated did make you giddy.

The next morning you entered the bullpen sporting a massive headache and bloodshot eyes more so from all the crying you did last night rather than the alcohol. “Good Morning sweet thang!” Morgan exclaimed as you sat down at your cubicle which was unfortunately right next to his.

Morgan sat at the corner of your desk and slurped his coffee every couple of seconds until you finally broke. “Why are you doing that?” you grunt narrowing your eyes.

“Doin’ what suga’?” he replies innocently smirking that his plan worked.

“Don’t play naive with me Morgan, you think you know something and you clearly want to tell me so spill,” you huff, Morgan chuckles and shakes his head trying to stretch out torturing you as long as he possibly could. However, your eyes immediately jump to Reid walking towards you with two coffees in his hands.

“Here (Y/N) that usual,” Spence says with a sweet smile. Though Reid bought you coffee every morning, today it felt different. Everything about Reid felt different, his smile was brighter, his eyes, though bloodshot like yours, seemed more warm than usual, his hair, if it was even possible, seemed more unruly. Overall, everything that made Reid attractive in your eyes seemed to be amplified. The last time you felt like this was when you first realized that the genius stole your heart for good. It took you a couple of seconds to notice that you hadn’t taken the coffee he had extended to you. 

“Oh! Thanks, Spencer!” you take the coffee ignoring the odd look that Reid gave you as you addressed him as Spencer. You never called him by his full first name it was either Spence, Reid, or one of the other nicknames you had for him.

Morgan broke the silence, “you and the mysterious man last night. How was he?” Spencer tried really hard not to pay attention to the conversation but as soon as the mysterious man you left with was mentioned his attention was nowhere but there. The genius tried to pretend not to listen in but Derek noted pretty boy’s sudden change in behavior. “Come on pretty girl. You dragged him out of the bar and was basically shooting love arrows with your eyes at him. Tell me everything.”

You chuckle at your coworker and say, “Derek what Cas and I have is pure platonic love. We haven’t seen each other in months and so I wanted to spend as much time with him as possible.”

Derek looked at you unconvinced, clearly analyzing your behavior for tells that you were lying. Grunting you added, “Derek I slept alone in my bed last night. Anyways, why am I trying to prove myself to you? You can believe it if you want,” and with that, you dove into finishing up paperwork.

Spencer was much happier now that you confessed that nothing was going on between the mystery man and you, and tried his best not to show it in case anyone figured out his feelings for you. However the happiness that shown on his face caught the attention of the team’s handsome hunk, and when the genius got up to refill on coffee Morgan decided to play on his hunch.

“So you gonna tell her?” he asked.

“Tell who what?” Reid replied.

“Are you gonna tell pretty girl over there that you are head over heels in love with her?” Morgan tossed out hoping to get a confirmation, which he got almost immediately as Reid choked on his coffee so badly it was coming out of his nose.

“Did JJ tell you?” Reid managed in between coughs. 

“Listen, kid, I may not have an IQ of 187 but I do have eyes, and I like to think I’m a skilled enough profiler to notice your behavior towards her and interpret it,” Morgan reassured Reid that his secret keeper had indeed kept his secret. “When are you gonna make a move?” Morgan questioned. Reid who had recovered from his coughing fit looked at Morgan with wide eyes at the question. Morgan lets out a frustrated sigh and continues, “Reid, you are a provable genius how can you not understand that she is just as much in love with you as you are with her.”

Reid shook his head refusing to believe it, “Morgan I’ve been friends with her for years, I know her well enough to know her type and unfortunately, I am nothing like the men she is into.”

Morgan rolled his eyes and opened his mouth to reveal your long time crush on him but was interrupted by Hotch calling you all to meet up. As they were walking to the conference room Morgan leaned in and whispered to Reid, “Just make a move on her before someone else does. Trust me Reid if you don’t you’ll regret it for the rest of your life.” Reid didn’t have much time to dwell on Morgan’s words because as soon as he entered the conference room Garcia started to explain the case.

“I hope you all had a light breakfast crime fighters because this one made me empty out the contents of my stomach this morning,” she pointed all of your attention to the television which was displaying the happy family pictures of the victims.

“Garcia where are the crime scene photos?” Rossi asked.

“I’m sorry, sir. I had to look at it all of last night and then I got a nightmare because of it, and so I wanted 2 hours of no crime scene photos. I uploaded it all to your tablets and for my tech-allergic oldies I made Anderson print them out,” Garcia explained. You send a sympathetic look towards her, usually, the technical analyst could stomach the gory photos we had to look through but if the case had shaken her up this badly then it must be our goriest one yet.

“This is Sharon Kerrigan,16, only daughter of  Andrew Kerrigan, she was found three nights ago 100 miles from her home in, cue the twilight zone music, Danvers, Massachusetts,” Garica paused and looked around for everyone to make the connection.

After two seconds, everyone naturally turned to Reid to tell them the significance of Danvers, Massachusetts but when he kept starting at the file before him you decided to speak up, “Danvers, Massachusetts, formerly known as Salem village, Massachusetts. The home of the Salem witch trials.” That was your first red flag on the case.

“Right you are my kitten,“ Garcia smiles at you and continues on, “two nights ago, Marissa Lebowski, also 16 was found 30 miles from her home in Danvers, Massachusetts. And yesterday night guards at a local bar in Salem found Alyssa Jethro dead, she was also 16 years old. I’m still waiting on the M.E.’s reports but from the crime scene photos I can tell you that their eyes were burned out.”

“Burned out?” you asked.

“Yeah seemingly liquefied,” Garcia nods. That was your second red flag, one more and you’d have to call in re-enforcements.

“Three girls in three nights, that’s a spree,” Morgan commented.

“Which is why we are leaving for Danvers immediately. The town is still trying to recover from the action of people who lived 300 years ago, and this unsub is not making it easier. Wheels up in 15,” Hotch said as he got up.

Gathering your thing, you hoped to God that the red flags you had raised would just be a coincidence. Your brothers had warned you that if you did cross a case that was more of their league than the BAU’s to give them a ring and they’d take care of it, but you never really worked out the kinks in that plan. And now you were sitting with a potential demon case, with no idea what to do. Worrying about demons and all other things supernatural you didn’t notice where you were going and bumped into Reid, who had turned around to see why you were so quiet.

“Sorry Spencer,” you apologize and practically run out of the room which was now completely empty, not wanting to deal with your emotions until after there was some clarification on what this case was and who you were dealing with. You tried your best not to look back at Reid, you knew that your odd behavior towards him must have started to hurt the genius by now. He may even be questioning whether you were telling the truth about Cas, but for now, you couldn’t be bothered. Your hunter instincts were taking over and if there is one thing being a hunter for almost all your life taught you, it’s that you can’t let emotions cloud your mind at any point of the case.  

20 minutes later you were all up in the air heading to Massachusetts and once Garcia patched through you started to review the case. On the jet rides, you always sat next to Reid, always. So when you decided to sit next to JJ instead of him the entire team knew something was going on with you. However, since they had a case at hand everyone decided to go on as if they hadn’t noticed.  

“Other than being 16 years old,  there is nothing that seems to connect these girls. I mean Sharon was a blonde, who playing on her school field hockey team while Marissa was a brunette who was shy and volunteered at her church most of the time,” Morgan observed from the case files.

JJ was the next to throw her thought out into the open, “Yeah, and Alyssa was more into the gothic lifestyle. Black hair and dark makeup, listened to emo metal, intimidated half the school.  I mean how is the unsub even getting to these girls?’

“There is one other thing that connects them, all of the victim’s mother’s died violently at the age of 10,” Reid added noticing the pattern. 10 years, the same amount of time for a demon deal to expire, you silently noted.

“Oh yeah, forgot to mention that. All the mothers of the victims before dying went crazy,” Garcia stated.

“Unfortunately in our line of work crazy is a common term could you be more specific Garcia?” Rossi who took the seat next to Reid asked.

“I mean crazy as in these women might have suffered a psychotic break. A week before their violent deaths, they all started freaking out saying things like their loved ones looked like monsters and being terrified to be around anyone. Every one of them also reported multiple times about being chased by a big black dog,” Garcia explained. As she finished her explanation you tried your best not to fall out of your chair, excusing yourself abruptly you got up and went to the back of the plane ignoring the worried looks of your coworkers. Once you made sure no one was looking over at you, you pulled out the phone you always had hidden you your coat pocket and dialed the first number on your contact list.

“Hey, it’s me. How fast can you get to Danvers, Massachusetts?”

Originally posted by frozen-delight

Part 5 Coming up in two days!!

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anonymous asked:

Hey, so I saw the post on reaper Jessica and Dean in 13.05, earlier and I don't understand. Can you explain how it parallels the Jess we know and what it means? 'cause I'm kind of lost, I don't know what to do with it :p

Yeah, sure! I was mostly just screeching into the void at that part, but the only thing that I actually said that was worth any currency was this where I rephrased their original dialogue:

“Hello, my name is Jessica. And I’m here to lead you to your next life.”

“Yeah, hi, Dean - little busy right now.”

into this:

“Hi, I’m the spectre of the loss of the most important romantically loved loved one in your life, do you feel like moving on from them to the next thing”

“sorry I can’t come to the phone”

Basically death is always a change of state in one way or another. For example in 13x04 Cas’s change of state is from his depression arc’s lowest point to standing up and declaring his intent to keep fighting forever. Dean’s essentially was Billie telling him he had a job to do in the bad uncomfortable way Cas’s line about it came off in 4x01, but also more metaphorically he asks about Mary and he changes from certainty she’s dead to *confusion* or potential hope she’d be alive, as Billie didn’t answer. He also has how he’s feeling voiced to him by Billie, especially concerning if he’d live or die, and though he can’t work up the feeling to want to live like Cas did, she gives him a temporary motivation (and it’ll be more complex than it seems with Cas coming back because that changes the game again IMMEDIATELY while she was essentially giving him the season 7 advice that Bobby, Frank and Eliot Ness did to push on through with the job, and to find a purpose - she tells him he HAS one and he can’t give up, but it’s not really a pick me up for his arc, it’s just continuation along the same line. But then Cas comes back and on a completely different note, offers Dean the pick me up anyway :P).

Anyway, before he ever meets Billie again, his original “death” aka when he passes into the veil and Jessica comes to reap him, is one Dean dismisses outright. The change of state there in his metaphorical story would be one where he isn’t even doing his job, he just kills himself and moves on. Dean is still essentially doing what Billie told him to do beforehand, because he wanted to finish the job and for Sam to bring him back with the info he needed. (And though Billie moved on the souls, that info was still good because the mother would have never gotten Shawn back without it, or they’d have had to tear the house apart to find the bodies.)  

(Actually, another detour… I’ve written a LOT about changes of state through death re: 6x01 because of the sheet imagery there which I use as my sort of guide book when I talk about stuff like this, and in 13x03 Dean was pushed through about 100 sheets in that skanky warehouse, and I was convinced at the time it was symbolic of these issues but obviously I didn’t have all the info yet to call how so I stuck a mental pin in it… This is me figuring out where it goes in all this :P)

So anyway. Jessica having that specific name is what makes any of it so interesting. Because on this show there’s some names you don’t use lightly, and those are the main character names or any core mythos people’s names. You can’t use Jessica without invoking Jess because she’s just such a core chunk of Sam’s original backstory, one of those names pretty much everyone is going to remember when it’s brought up on this show in any place anywhere, and any use of the name is going to make you think about her in one way or another. So why use it for some random reaper Sam’s not going to meet, and Dean’s got little personal connection to Jess in the sense that this encounter can have any direct relevance to him. He’s not got an emotional stake in meeting a Jessica out of context and she doesn’t do enough in the episode to be anything MORE than a name from the past.

UNLESS. The connection is an emotional MIRROR for Dean to encounter, in which case it changes entirely to being extremely relevant to him but only if you have been adding up the parallels between Dean losing Cas to Sam losing Jess from 12x23 and the following episodes in season 13. I haven’t been keeping a good tag with this exact parallel but there’s a bunch of big and little things, including the mirroring of Sam pulling Dean away from Cas fighting Lucifer as a big thing, and Sam’s general attitude to trying to help Dean in this episode as a parallel to 1x19 where Sam got really annoyed with Dean trying to get him to move on from Jess. I was talking about it the other night off the promo, but there was this feeling all over the place, really. 

(The same thing has been happening with Dean parallels to John losing Mary, and of course all through season 1, Sam losing Jess was paralleled to this, in extremely direct ways.)

And then Dean walks into a reaper called Jessica, who ends up being like, the name of the thing (devastating loss of a romantic partner, Sam’s version) that Dean is currently confronting for himself for the first time in THIS life-ruining capacity. Unspoken in the episode is how he’s bounced back from Cas’s death before… It SUCKED but he was recovering in season 7 even just a little to find his way back. But Dean is hurt in season 13 like he has never, ever been hurt before, with the twin pain of losing Mary after only just getting her back, and losing Cas after never having him in the way he wanted him all along.

And she asks him to move along. To move *on* to borrow the silence in Sam’s “you’re ready to move on……. from mom?” last episode, which made a lot of people mentally insert Cas but even if that pause wasn’t really enough of a thing to actually be that, the idea IS that Dean is confronting if he can move on from their deaths. He can JOKE about losing Mary - painfully - in 13x04. There’s very different emotional territory around it to losing Cas though, so using Jessica to ask Dean if he wants to move along and to have her state her name like that… The offered change of state is to move on from the pain of losing the loved one who hurts as much as losing Jess did for Sam. That is directly compared to it in many ways by the mirrors around these deaths. 

And Dean has no time for it, he’s not ready, he’s never going to be ready, and he resists the change to give up on Cas, to move on to a world where none of it matters any more because the next world is one where the problems and hurt of your previous life are all gone. But also the raw, real, live attachments. Dean isn’t ready for that, he has work to do, and he’s not letting Cas go. He doesn’t even consider Jessica’s offer even when he does want to die. 

And of course all this is written with the dramatic irony that we already know Cas is alive again and Misha is in the episode, so we just have to wait for him to come back to Dean already. That isn’t a hypothetical rejection of her offer or pause on it… That’s Dean accidentally, ironically, leaving himself ready to have Cas back, having dealt with his loss, confronted what Cas meant to him in many ways, but NOT given an inch when it comes to letting Cas go at last. It’s part of the great dramatic irony of this whole part of the show, the beauty of getting all this exploration knowing where it is leading - at least in the sense of a reunion and it being okay again, that we’re just going to their darkest moment to see what it looks like before climbing back out of it… We saw Cas’s in 13x04 and Dean’s in 13x05… And even if it was just in passing, Jessica shows us that Dean is not giving up on loving Cas, just as in 13x04 Cas showed that even when the prospect seems to be to come back for what may well be a massive waste of time if he’s not loved back how he wants, he will do it anyway and live, at least for himself (but you know if Dean would like to reciprocate any time soon that’s awesome too :P) 

Ok, I know it’s been three years and maybe there’s no point in discoursing about this but...

I just saw a post by someone who talked about Meg’s devotion to Cas in such beautiful terms I was hovering over that like button until…. they said “I don’t personally believe he reciprocated her feelings.” With all due respect, THAT IS NOT UP FOR DEBATE. I feel like there is so much meta and discourse about non-canon ships that some people forget canon ships are not subject to your opinion about whether or not they’re real.

Megstiel is canon. It just IS. Ask Rachel. Ask Misha. Ask the writers. Or just, you know, WATCH THE SHOW. Some of the non-canon ships do get subtext moments that tease at relationships that aren’t in the text, sometimes intentionally put there for fans, and that’s cool. There’s nothing wrong with those ships or the people who like them. But the difference is, those moments are the writers ALLOWING us to ship Sam and Dean, or Dean and Cas, or Sam and Gabriel, or whoever. It’s a wink that gives permission, not a blatant intent. We’re SUPPOSED to see romance between Cas and Meg. It’s not “implied.” It’s just THERE.

Cas and Meg have sexual tension from the moment they meet - not in subtext, but in the TEXT. (And if you’re about to argue that “Dean literally saw sparks fly when he met Cas, and nothing like that happened with Cas and Meg,” you clearly have never heard Johnny Cash sing Ring of Fire.) Throughout their interactions in seasons 5 and 6, Meg openly flirted with Cas at every opportunity and blatantly indicated attraction. Meanwhile, Cas was observably flustered whenever he was around her. They kissed. Contrary to popular belief, Cas DID indicate that he was interested in having sex with Meg. Watch the scene again - he was not misunderstanding the suggestion. He was guiltily deflecting it.

In season 7, he becomes insane, she becomes his caretaker, and he developed a canonically established crush on her. Again, this was not something that could maybe sort of be hinted at by subtle details if you squint. This was confirmed by the writers, by the actors, and by the actual dialogue of the show. Crazy!Cas had a crush on Meg. Period. During that time, SHE seemed to brush off HIS advances, possibly because she knew he was not of sound mind, but her actions in caring for him demonstrate a degree of emotional investment even though Meg probably wouldn’t admit it.

The final episode they share begins with a recap of EVERY ROMANTIC MOMENT THEY SHARED, from staring at each other and mutual heavy breathing in the infamous Ring of Fire to kissing in Crowley’s dungeon to multiple instances of her using her pet name for him. We don’t get flashbacks like this when there’s going to be a subtext moment. The “THEN” for Goodbye Stranger was pretty much a neon sign saying HEY LOOK REMEMBER ALL THE TIMES ROMANTIC/SEXUAL STUFF HAPPENED BETWEEN CAS AND MEG? BECAUSE THIS EPISODE IS DEFINITELY GOING TO BE ABOUT THAT. And then it proceeded to show him tenderly caring for her, admitting he had feelings for her, reminiscing fondly about kissing her, and ultimately agreeing - with a certain degree of that long-standing flusteredness - that yes, they really should finally have sex once they survive this battle.

Even the one time Meg is undeniably mentioned in canon after her death, it’s because Cas-in-human-disguise has named himself using her pet name for him. And even this is set up in flashbacks with Meg making flirty eyes at Cas while calling him Clarence. WE ARE SUPPOSED TO SEE THIS.

Look, I’m not saying my ship is better than yours just because it’s canon. We Megstiel shippers do the same things shippers of non-canon ships do sometimes - we create elaborate theories based on background details to support headcanons that Meg and Cas totally did consummate their relationship offscreen before she died, or that he’s still in love with her and makes decisions to this day that are based on that love, or that Meg somehow survived and they will find each other again, or secretly already have. There’s no canon support for most of this. It’s all in the realm of fanfiction. But we do it because it comforts us, and in that way we are just like non-canon shippers.

But none of that changes the fact that Megstiel is canon. You don’t get to say you don’t believe Cas loved Meg back, because Cas himself told you he did. You can NOT LIKE a canon ship. Some people didn’t like Dean with Lisa. A lot of people didn’t like Sam with Amelia. You can dislike a canon pairing, either because it got in the way of something you wanted, or you just weren’t a fan of one of the characters, or you didn’t think they were good for each other, or any number of things. But NOT LIKING IT DOESN’T MEAN IT DIDN’T HAPPEN.

And Cas and Meg, whether you like it or not, happened.

anonymous asked:

(*1/5) I don't know if you've answered a similar question before, but I thought I'd ask for discussion and spec. By now I am super positive that Destiel is going to happen. After S12 I have no doubt (I mean come on, they were acting like husbands; show wouldn't do that if it meant nothing at this point after queerbaiting accusations). What I wonder now is how it will happen. I know Cas said the L word, but it wasn't clear. I find it difficult to believe that it would happen verbally, from Dean's

(*2/5) side, since Dean would probably have difficulty declaring his love to Cas verbally like that, considering he might not want to send Cas away if Cas doesn’t reciprocate his feelings. (As in he might not want to risk their friendship, because Dean loves Cas so much and I think he would want to be close to him as friends even if Cas doesn’t love him the same way). I think that if it happens on Dean’s part, if he does say it, it will be in a moment of passion, where he just blurts it out,

(*3/5) or he just kisses him. I can’t visualize how Cas would go about declaring his love (undeniably) to Dean, but perhaps the same, in a moment of passion (we can say 12x12 was pretty dramatic) where it just comes out. When this happens, how do you think they will react? Will they feel relief? Or perhaps both will have a bit of a freak out? Cas with the angel/human love taboo, and Dean with “I just kissed my best male friend what’s gonna happen now”, adding to the fact that, even if

(*4/5) even if Dean is more comfortable in his own skin now, and will gradually become more so this season, perhaps he will still have insecurities about being in an openly gay relationship with Cas. He could have insecurities about how Sam will think of him now, and such moments of doubt and fear. Would you say Dean will go through these emotions when it finally happens? Or will he have more of a “F** what everyone else thinks” attitude? And Cas, how could he react when they both know?

(*5/5) could they be immediately happy that they finally know their love is reciprocated and it’s out now? What are your thoughts about this, about their reaction when it finally happens. Sorry for the long ask, btw! I’ve been thinking about this and I thought it’d be nice to spec. :) I believe it will go canon in a passionate moment, and there will be some drama afterwards, about their fears and doubts, and then it will solve beautifully and they will be happy and Sam will be happy for them.

Woah that was a journey! :D

I think it depends what order they want to do things in. I think many people see Bi!Dean being a thing before Destiel and I do kind of agree with that, although I can also see the argument for Destiel first then Dean trying to tell Sam that he has always liked guys but now he is in love with this particular guy and Sam is just like, well, that’s not news, so it’s just not a big thing? Either way, I think the important thing and what I imagine will/should happen is that it really is a “that’s not news”/ “and?” thing, to show precisely that it ISN’T a big deal and doesn’t change who Dean is at all.

I feel like most likely given the characterisation and my personal understanding of it so far is that Dean is much more about actions rather than words, so the ‘grabs him and kisses him in the middle of a “I’m angry cos i care, i care cos i love you’ style argument’ trope fits for him, whereas for Cas it’s more like Dean does this then uses his words and Cas just looks at him open eyed until Dean is like.. uhh.. and you?? and Cas is just like “OH! well, I thought it was obvious, of course I love you Dean!”, like… it’s never been a question!

I feel like Dean re: other people’s views is really getting to a good point, he is still going to be hesitant but his family have already shown just how accepting they are and how they are always there for him, so I see him reaching out in his grieving period, the period after that too little by little and testing the water then it really isn’t an is issue by the time it gets to the right point (which imo is not likely to be in season 13 or at least not until very very late in season 13, but even that I feel is a little too optimistic).

I hope that makes sense, its just my opinion though :D

Coming Home

Destiel Teenager Christmas AU. Warnings: Anti John Winchester, Child Abuse (mentioned)

It’s a miracle they have kept up their correspondence, but it is one Dean is thankful for. It’s kept him sane.

Through all of Dad’s drinking, the moving, the different schools, through Sam’s hungry cries, he’s always had the letters to cling to.

Every time they moved unexpectedly, he sent another, explaining it to Cas so he could reach out to him at the right address again.

Cas and his family never moved away. They’re still in Lawrence.

They’re still here, on this 22nd of December, when two boys stumble tiredly along the road.

Dean used to think he could take it all, but that horrible night a week ago was the last straw.

Dad hit Sam.

Dean has grown long accustomed to the punches. But Dad has never – did never hurt Sam. Until that night.

And he just knew he had to get him out of there. And the only place to go –

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anonymous asked:

Wanted to ask for a scenario where Miyuki, Chris, Kuramochi, Ryou, Jun and Tesu receive a call from their bff/crush, who likes them as well, saying that they feel lonely and just wanted to hear their voice

hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh blessyouanon


He normally kept his phone on silent when he slept, he didn’t want some idiot waking him up with one of those stupid “pass on in three seconds or you’ll die” texts. Yet tonight he was woken up by a faint buzzing under his face. ‘Oh yeah, I was texting ____…’


“Miyuki? Oh no you were asleep, I’m really sorry. I normally would be like this, you don’t like needy people, right? I’ll let you go. Sorry again-”

“____, just spit it out. We both know you don’t want to hang up.”

“O-okay. Well you see the thing is erm, I’ve been missing you. The holidays are so long and I just wanted to hear your voice. I just wanted you.”

Unbeknownst to you he bolted upright, flinging the window open and grabbing his water bottle; doing anything he could to keep himself awake. As you started asking what the noise was he calmly replied.

“It’s been two weeks… you must really like me, ____-chan. I didn’t know you could be this cute… Would you like to know a secret?”

“I do not! I mean. Tell me.”

“I’ve missed your voice too.”


You two had been texting about future plans, asking what schools you planned to go to, if his shoulder was healing up right, if he was leaving the country. He hadn’t been straightforward with his answer on that last point, he’d told you it was all up in the air and since then you’d been silent. He almost called you himself when he saw your picture flash up on his screen. When he picked up he could swear it almost sounded like you had been crying.


“Yes, ____?”

A long silence fell on you both, all he could hear was you ragged breathing and before long he found himself repeating your name. What was wrong? Why had you called?

“Please tell me what’s wrong? Has someone hurt you?”

“N-no I’m so sorry. I’m being soft. I wanted to let you know before you leave, that is if you do, that I’ll miss you every day and you’ll need to call me all the time so I won’t start forgetting what your voice sounds like.”

“Oh my ____. That’s what this is about? You know if you’re really that sad then I can always take you with me.”


He had always been a night owl, especially during the holidays; no practise meant he could stay up all night training his street fighter skills, he was sick of losing to Haruichi. It was lucky he even realised his phone was ringing in his pocket, he never really paid attention to it as people rarely called him. 

“Yo, ____. What’s up?”

“Ah, Youichi! You were up already. Good… What you up to?”

“Nothing much, same old same old. Trying to master this stupid combo so I can rub my victory in the face of my enemies…. how about you?”

He wasn’t even phased by you calling up for such trivial things, he’d always have time for you; plus it was always nice to get midnight calls from your crush. He had to shake himself to stop himself from having less than impure thought about how cute you might be looking right now… maybe in some cute lacy panties with little bows and a matching- ‘Youichi, no. Stop that.’. 

“Hey! Are you even listening? I just confessed my undying love for you and desperation to hear your voice at 1am and you don’t even pay attention. How cruel.”

“U-undying love. Hello, yes I’m here. I like that. Love you too, bye”

He could only stare at his phone in horror as he realised that he’d hung up on you.


He wasn’t blind and he was hardly dumb; he actually prided himself on his ability to analyse the people around him, to notice the things that others didn’t. Which is why he had been kicking himself since the moment he walked out of the Seido gates for the final time. Why hadn’t he acted on his feelings when he was so sure you reciprocated them? Even his brother had a jab at him for that.He hadn’t heard a word from you since then either, he’d heard rumours from others but not once had you tried to contact him; but then it was his own fault for never texting you either. ‘maybe this is something I need to let go-’

When your song began to ring from the other side of the room he bolted to grab it. 

“”Ryosuke? Hi, hello. Hi. We, I mean I hadn’t heard from you. I got worried. It’s been so long and I just-”

“Missed being around me?”

“Yeah… how did you?”

“You know I’m clever with these types of things, not even you can surprise me… but I’m sorry we haven’t talked.”

“It doesn’t matter… all I wanted was to hear your voice maybe even see you-”

“So when am I picking you up? You can stay here as long as you like, mom already knows all about you. It’s a bit intense at first and she’ll try to feed you until you can’t breathe but you can come sleep in my bed. I’ll make the spare room up just for you and then we ca- ____??? You hung up on me?!”


His hand slammed onto the bedside table as he grumbled curses at whatever bastard was waking him up at such a stupid time. He didn’t even check who it was, he just went ahead picking up; completely forgetting his manners.


When he heard a squeak on the other end of the line he started getting angry, ready to chew out whoever was prank calling him.

“Jun. I- I… I erm. S-sorry. I woke you up didn’t I. I didn’t think. You’re always so grumpy at this time. I mean you have every right to be and-”

“_____! Why are you calling? Ahem, I was up anyway. Missing you. I mean I wasn’t doing anything dirty or thinking about you. I was just awake and and hello.”

“PFFFT! Junjun calm down, I’m not accusing you of anything…. but I know you were asleep I know your sleepy voice. Were you really missing me? That’s why I called; I’ve missed your sleepy voice, and your shouty voice and your not so subtle whispers and you.”

He couldn’t believe this; you??? missing him???? It didn’t make any sense. Maybe he was dreaming. He kept trying to reply but all he could do was make strangled noises.

“You anduraiodoiahsd  me missing me like you?? pretty person misses me??? the trashman?! kashbdjkashd I mean. I… I fucking love you. And I want to date you to a food place where we eat. I’ll text you.”


Didn’t wake up. At least not when you called. He had always been a heavy sleeper so a slight buzzing was hardly going to rouse him from his deep slumber. After a few times you were on the verge of giving up when you heard his mumbling.

“Why up now? You okay?”



“Oh god you’re half asleep. Should I let you get back to sleep?”

Immediately he began grumbling incoherent nonsense about how you were worth being up for; at least it was somewhat of a confirmation that he liked hearing from you.

“I know it’s late, Su. I’m having trouble sleeping and, well, I thought maybe calling up my favourite person might cheer me up a little.”

“Cheer? What made you sad??? I’ll fight it. Where’s my bat-”

“Tetsu nO”

“Tetsu yes”

“I suppose you could always just come see me tomorrow, then you can make sure I’m extra happy…. how does that sound?”

“…. perfect. Picking you up 12. Bring coat.”

Before you could respond the line went dead, presumably he’d fallen asleep on the phone and managed to hit the right button. It didn’t matter though. Now you had to stay up all night wondering where the hell he was taking you and which coat you think he’d like the best.

Supernatural is not about romance, only… IT REALLY IS!

I don’t know if someone has already talked about this, but I haven’t read anything similar to what I have to say, so I’ll give it a try.

This morning I was thinking about the show, about Dean and Cas to be more specific (I do that a lot!), and suddenly I wondered: Why is the word “LOVE” being used so much? I have made some connections and, of course, I can be mistaken, but I want to share them with you all.

Do you remember the conversation between the fake Ezekiel and Dean in 9x02?

Zeke!Sam: You were protecting your brother. I am in Sam’s head. Everything he knows, I know. And I know that what you did, you did out of love.

Dean: Yeah, uh, look, Zeke—I’m gonna call you Zeke—I’m not really with the whole, uh, love, and… love.

A lot has been said about why Dean mentioned the word “love” twice. When Zeke said love, he was obviously talking about the love Dean has for Sam, but Dean said “love and… love.” The first one is Sam. Who is the second one? That question matches pretty well the so obviously repeated line “WHO DO YOU LOVE?” in the opening song for season 9 (x). We already know who the first love for Dean is (Sammy), but “who do you love,” Dean Winchester? Who’s the second love in your life?

Then in the season 9 finale, Metatron said this:

“This is a story, […] a marvelous story, full of love and heartbreak and… love.”

Dean and Metatron made the exact same pause “and… love”. The phrase was mentioned again, but this time there was an additional word: “heartbreak”. That might mean nothing, except… if we pay attention to the chorus of the season 10 opening song, we get this:


So… in 9x23, Metatron made a connection to the “love and… love” said by Dean and added “heartbreak” to it, and in 10x01, we hear “heartbreaker, dream maker, love taker.” Not only did we get the heartbreaker (who is obviously Dean because the season opening songs are always describing Dean somehow), but we also got another two additional phrases “dream maker” and “love taker.” And in the same episode, we got Castiel saying this:

“Not all bad comes from it – art, hope, LOVE, DREAMS.”

Thus, in the season 10 premiere we got the “dream maker, love taker” and suddenly, we also got someone who mentioned dreams and love… someone who is not supposed to experience those emotions because they are “human things.” And what’s the most interesting part? After Cas said dreams, we immediately got Dean’s face on our screen.  

FULL CYCLE. We started with Dean and went back to him.

In case we were not sure the “dream” reference was totally about Castiel, in episode 10x02 we got a little girl asking him, “Did you have a good dream?” Two episodes in a row using the word “dream” around Cas when we know there’s a “heart breaker, dream maker, love taker” somewhere. How much more obvious can they get? And of course, Cas answered that he can’t dream, because of course he can’t. The kind of dreams he has, the kind of dreams (hope and love) someone has awaken in him are human emotions given to him by a human. “He’s in love… with humanity” as Metatron would say. Though Metatron himself later corrected this and said that everything Cas did was “about saving one human”, “to save Dean Winchester.” That’s not even subtext! All that is canon!

In case we were not sure the “heartbreaker” reference was totally about Dean, also in episode 10x02 we got a brokenhearted Crowley looking at his selfie with Dean while a song is playing. What does the song say?

“Hey there lonely girl, lonely girl, let me make your BROKEN HEART like new.” (x) I don’t even think I need to explain this anymore. It’s so obvious it really hurts my brain.

What can we expect from now on?

Well, we already know Dean needs Castiel (season 8 established that very clearly with all the I need you’s we got from Dean). Now we are learning what kind of love Cas has for Dean (clue… “He’s in love”). We just need Dean to reciprocate, to be the “love taker.” I’m just going to add here the definition of taker: “Someone who takes or receives something; someone who accepts an offer.” That means Dean-many-issues-I-hate-myself-Winchester might at some point take, receive, accept love that is being offered to him. Who is the one feeling/offering that love? I think that everybody and their mother knows that it’s a certain angel of the Lord.

I’m completely sure that Dean and Castiel are endgame. The Carver era made us a promise since season 8. We just need to be patient. What was the promise? Go back to episode 8x07 and listen to the song playing when Dean was driving and saw Cas for the first time in season 8 (not in a flashback but the real Cas, walking on the side of the road). When you rewatch that part, you will hear this:

“We gotta get out of this place if it’s the last thing we ever do. We gotta get out of this place… Girl, there’s a better life for me and you.” (x)

So… if it’s the last thing they EVER do, I’m sure there’s a better life for Dean and Cas somewhere down the road. That’s their endgame. That’s the promise we were given a long time ago. It might take a couple more seasons, I don’t know, but I’m sure we’re heading somewhere.

Coming Home (Part Two)

Originally posted by perfectfeelings

Pairing: Dean X Reader
Warnings: come cursing, vanilla fluff, non-descriptive smut. 
Summary: Time lapse from when Dean tells you he has enlisted and to when he comes back home.

You forgave Dean, not all the way; just enough to make sure that when he left, he wasn’t leaving with you angry at him. 
You couldn’t be angry with him though, you loved him too damn much and your heart wouldn’t allow it.

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Everything to me

SPN Writing Challenge | @thing-you-do-with-that-thing vs. loracine (couldn’t tag her so I linked sorry!)
Prompt: Say it Right by Nelly Futado
Pairing: Destiel
word count: 1400ish
Tags/Warning: Well destiel kiss (if that is a warning?), fluff, angst, low self worth

A/N:  This is my first destiel fic so judge kindly! Also please remember this is not how I see Cas at all. It is written from his POV so this is how he thinks of himself! 

***My fics are not to be saved nor posted on any other sites without my express written permission.***


Castiel had managed to sneak away from the others and he found himself wandering the halls of the bunker. He felt alone. It wasn’t like Lucifer had been the best “roommate,” but he hadn’t been alone in his own head for a long time. For a long time he had not had to think about himself or how lost he felt. How at fault he was for everything that had happened to the world. To the Winchesters. To Dean.

Somehow that was where Castiel found himself. In Dean’s room. He had not thought about where he was heading – he had just been walking. Guilt ridden and scared for the world. He had yet again failed. He had let Lucifer in and still the world was ending. He had thought he could be useful for once but again he had failed. Just like he had failed at everything else he had attempted since he rescued Dean from hell.

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anonymous asked:

Do u think it's possible that Dean never knew Cas was in love with him? I just know that Dean sometimes doesn't think too highly of himself. The same goes for Cas. It's hard to think that Cas didn't feel like Dean reciprocated either. They need to use their words lol

Well yeah Dean has always been in denial about anyone loving him, about feeling worthy of it and this is why Dean was so angry in 12x12, because he feels guilty for Cas dying, for having broken him, for being the reason Cas had fallen because when he finally tells him it’s not in a lovely glorious moment of freedom and happiness it’s on his DEATHBED. But then in the end he’s just so RELIEVED that he’s OK he just wants to take him home… look after him, but Cas feels rejected, because he’s been family-zoned again due to Dean’s inner demons and he leaves to go back to his DUTY, because that is his mission and emotions, feelings, LOVE, cannot get in front of the mission and his mission is to SAVE Dean (waves at season 10 and Hannah), to protect him and the world and to atone for his own mistake in letting Lucifer out.

BUT meanwhile Dean still hopes enough now that he’s heard Cas say it, and is starting to home for good things for himself, that he gives the guy a mixtape…. and then he has FINALLY gotten to the point that he feels he deserves love, that he deserves more than to just be a parent to Sam, that he deserves good things for himself…

Then Cas died. It’s almost like they just can’t catch a break right???!!!

anonymous asked:

A mini coffeeshop conversation between cas and dean maybe? Sorry if this is a terrible prompt lol

read it on ao3!!

Cas frowns as he wraps his hand around the mug someone had placed on the table in front of him just moments ago, expecting his cold fingers to be warmed through the ceramic, but instead he finds only a cool hardness. The mug is only half full of what must be instant coffee - clumps and granules float on the surface and cling to the sides. No inviting aroma wafts into his nose, and no steam lingers at the top. His shoulders slump, disappointed.

“Not quite all it’s cracked to be, huh?”

Cas lifts his eyes from the mug to meet the gaze of the man sitting across from him. Moments earlier, he introduced himself as Dean Winchester, and in turn Cas gave him his name, but further conversation was interrupted by the production crew as they placed the final details on the set, including the shit that passes as coffee now sitting in Cas’s cold hands.

Shaking his head, Cas shoves the mug away from himself, then remembers the instructions he was given, and slides it back into his chest with a sigh.

“This is sad,” Cas says. He glances across the set to where the stars of the movie sit in the middle of the appropriated cafe. The lights and cameras are still being positioned, so the stars turn down to their phones.

“This your first time?”

“Being an extra?” Cas asks for clarification. Dean nods. “Yes. I need some additional money for my tuition, and this prospect seemed a lot more honorable than stooping to pornography.”

Dean snorts into his hand, earning him a glare from a couple assistants and one of the camera guys. Dean rolls his eyes. “Dunno, man. They probably have decent coffee at Casa Erotica.”

“True.” Cas nods in his favor. “What about you? How long have you been an extra?”

Dean shrugs. “A while I guess. Started off same as you: needed to put my little brother through college somehow. I’ve got a gig at my uncle’s scrap yard, but it’s not enough, you know?”

“As if this pay is half as glamorous.” They’re getting crumbs compared to their more qualified, more renowned costars; with the money the leading duo are being paid, it almost makes Cas want to drop out of his veterinary program to become a movie star.

Dean snorts again, then shrugs again. His movements are theatrical without being ostentatious, sinuous without being hard to follow; it’s that, combined with his unnaturally handsome features, that makes Cas wonder why this man isn’t starring in his own movie franchise. He’s absolutely mesmerizing to watch.

Before either Cas or Dean has to find something to say, the bell rings, signaling that they’re about to start filming. Cas licks his lips and schools his features into a inconspicuous expression with a flex of his jaw. Across from him, Dean is preparing a similar manner, muting himself so the two conventionally attractive leads are not upstaged by the faces behind them. The vibrance in Dean’s green eyes appears to dim; Cas frowns.


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SPN June Writing Challenge


Summary: Taking place around season 9, Castiel leaves the bunker due to Deans demands. Even though he feels alone, he is surprised when you come knocking. You can’t leave him alone, you know better. An angel without grace is just a human. Knowing Castiel struggles with human tradition, its only rational for you to stick with him and help him in his times of need.

Word Count: 3,863

Warning: smut, fluff

Challenge topic: “Did you follow me here?”


“Did you follow me here?” Cas’s voice was weak with a sense of worry.

“Well, yeah. You kind of just left without saying goodbye,” a small smile appearing on your lips. You loved Cas; you were drawn to him.

“Why are you here, (y/n)?” his tone was edgy and clipped now; pulling his features together in attempted annoyance. Your shoulders slummed as he gave you the cold shoulder. He had a reason to be upset, but his fight was with Dean. You had no control over the bunker, the brothers just let you stay there.

"Just because Dean kicked you out, that doesn’t mean that I don’t want to be there for you,” with hurt clear in your words, you watched him curiously. The former angel had always been kind to you; he never once was hateful and his attitude now, was unsettling.

“You need to go home,” his eyes had softened as he took in your wounded glance, but his tone was all the same.

“The angels are after you, they could kill you Cas. You’re not going to go through this alone. You have been with us for years, saving our asses; I don’t know what the hell has got into that damn Winchester.” you sigh, shaking your head in disappointment.

“He’s watching out for you and Sam. Im a danger to be around right now. You need to go back, get as far away from me as you can,” his chest felt heavy and you could tell he didn’t mean it. He wanted you there, and he hated himself for being so selfish. You always had a way of comforting him; your presence kept him at ease and at the rate things were going, he really needed you. But he also needed you to be safe and while being around him, that wasnt an option; he wasnt going to risk it.

“You’re being hunted. You and I both know that, but your an idjit if you think I’m not going to stand by your side. Were going to fight this and were going to fight together. Im not leaving at a time where you need me most; I’m going to do everything I can to keep you safe.” you sounded appalled so he would get the hint. As he stood in front of you, his chest exhaled to produce a dramatic sigh before his shoulders slumped.

”(y/n) if you think you owe me-“ he began softly, but now you were getting upset.

“No! This is not about settling a debt! Its the fact that your family Cas, and even though Dean seems to be out of the game right now, Im not. I don’t give up on family, I don’t push family away; they’re all i have left and I’m going to do everything in my power to protect my family because I care!” your voice raised along with your blood pressure. You didn’t understand why he couldn’t see the big picture.

“You don’t think I want the same thing?” the question barely audible, his head turned to the side as his brows drew together.

“You’re pushing me away right now, just like Dean.” your volume didn’t decrease.

“I want you safe and if that makes me like Dean…” he trailed off at a loss for words.

“You don’t get it Cas. If my options consist of my safety or having the chance to save you, I’d go with the latter,” you hiss. Crossing your arms, you faced the ground as tears began to pool in your eyes. This had been a long time coming; a conversation you had done your best to steer clear from until now. You felt him step toward you, but you didn’t even try to move; the tears slipping from your eyes and the hurt inside, overpowered you.

“(y/n),” he whispered to you, his hand reaching up to cup your cheek. The soft, caring tone he normally held for you was back. As his fingers gently lifted your chin to meet your gaze, his attention was instantly drawn to the tears streaming down your face.

“Have you ever watched Lilo & Stitch?” your voice quivered lightly as you tried to get a grip on the situation. You had never cried in front of him before but you couldn’t hold it in any longer. You were in love with him and you would be damned if you kept it to yourself any longer; especially when the angels were on his ass and you weren’t sure how much time you had left. He watched you, eyes holding complete concern; it took him a while before he shook his head, responding with a no.

"Ohana means family, and family means nobody gets left behind,” you sigh, stepping forward to pull him in for a hug. "Im with you in this, Cas. You can try to shake me if you want, but I’m not going anywhere. Let me take care of you; just like all of those times you took care of me. I wouldn’t be here if it weren’t for you; I realize my life is on the line and if thats the price it takes for me to stay and be here with you, then so be it. The world is a huge place for a human; its corrupt, distraught, and faulty and I will not leave you to face it alone.” He stood frozen as your words came crashing in. His blue eyes becoming glassy with their own tears as he wrapped his arms around you, reciprocating your hug. As he incased you, your arms held on tighter; pulling him closer.

“I love you,” you whispered, tears fell from his blue orbs as you made the confession. “So if you think I’m going to sit back and play it safe in the confines of the bunker while you’re out here struggling and fighting for your life, you’re wrong.” The both of you remained silent for a moment before you pulled back a little.
“I don’t know how I made it without you before we met,… but what I do know…” you lift your hand to wipe a tear from his cheek.
“is that I can’t make it without you now; I need you Cas. Without you, Im already dead.” You rested your head back on his shoulder, face snuggling into the crook of his neck, arms wrapping around his torso once more. You heaved a sigh of relief as he made no point to push you away from him. His grip on you tightened, holding you to him securely. You closed your puffy eyes and listened to his heart beat; the clear rhythm and the warmth he radiated made you sleepy.  After a while, he shifted and lifted your head; placing a kiss to your forehead before resting his own. His blue orbs consuming your view, but you felt a smile tug on his lips

“I love you too,” he admitted, eyes looking away as his cheeks flushed. You found yourself smiling, moving your hands up to the nape of his neck; fingers entwining in his unruly, dark, messy hair. Without warning, he closed the small distance. His lips gentle against your own, moving softly in rhythm together. Your hands pulled his neck to you; even though you were touching, you weren’t close enough. Your tongue swept across his lower lip waiting and begging for entrance. He fought dominance with you, but gave in quickly. Pulling you closer to him, you felt the bulge in his pants and he let out a groan when you pulled away.

“(y/n),” his eyes were closed, chest heaving as he tried to catch his breath and protest against the separation.

“Perhaps we could finish this inside?” your voice wasnt above a whisper, the seduction seeping through. His eyes shot open in an instant as he mulled you over, searching for any sign of hesitation within your being. Nodding his head, he let you into the room; closing the door behind him before trailing you to the bed. Staring down at the sheets, you thought over what came next. You were about to have the moment with Cas that you had long been fantasizing about for years.

“We don’t have to do this if you don’t want to. We don’t have to rush,” he offered as your back was still turned to him. You shifted around quickly, explaining yourself.

“Believe me, I want to,” you let out a laugh, looking away from him as your face heated. He turned his head quizzically, brows furrowing as you filled the few steps you had between him.
“I have wanted you for a long time.” Slipping your hands around his neck, his arms tangling around your back to seclude distance, both of you meeting in the middle to continue the kiss.

Cas moaned into your mouth as you ran a hand down his torso, his breath hitching as you palmed him through his pants. His hands traveled up the back of your neck, fingers twisting in your hair as you continued to rub him. Your tongues moved together in rhythm, the noises slipping from him only made you want more. While your lips moved together in rhythm, you tugged him by the shirt and filled the distance between the bed. Before you could push him onto the mattress, Cas lifted you and laid you down first; gently sliding over you as he pinned you between him and the bed. A moan escaped your lips at his forwardness and your hands moved up to tangle in his hair. Your legs twisted around his torso; pulling him closer to your aching core. As his hips rubbed against yours, Cas let out a groan and you could feel his growing bulge. It was time for the clothes to come off.

While moving your hands down his body, towards his waist, his lips left yours and continued to trail down your jaw; slowly making his way to your neck. You struggled to unbutton his pants, the pressure in your core rising as he began to nip and suck where his lips traveled over your sensitive skin. A whine escaped your mouth and Cas pulled away, checking you over to make sure he hadn’t hurt you.

“I can’t get the damn things off,” you tried to seem upset, but a laugh slipped through your growing smile. Why couldn’t you just undo the damn button. A smile began to appear on his face as he acknowledged the fact; rolling over on his side, he quickly moved to remove his pants. As soon as they were unbuttoned, you moved and towered over him; a devilish smile adorning your lips. Slipping one leg over him, you positioned yourself on top; his eyes watching your every move. Leaning down, your lips met with his once more before your fingers lifted the helm of his shirt; in a quick motion, the first item of clothing was cast down to the floor. As your eyes wandered his tone, muscular, tan chest, a hum vibrated from your chest; the noise eliciting arousal, Cas’s eyes were lust blown. He wanted to be in control, but at the same time, he enjoyed the noises that escaped your mouth as you explored him.

With gentle force, you pushed him to where he was laying down; your figure looming over him. Giving him one last kiss, you smiled and began to trail your way down. Just like he had done, you nipped and sucked his skin on your way down; earning small moans from him as you found his sensitive areas. When you reached his happy trail, you peaked up at him; his features contorted of pure bliss and relaxation as you moved over him. Tugging at his jeans, he lifted his hips to help you rid them; pushing them down past his ankles, he kicked them off the rest of the way. Moving down towards the end of the bed, you sat up on your knees; eyes roaming his body and fingers teasing his waist line. You had yet to remove his boxers but his signature had a broadened outline on the material that covered him. His head still rested on the bed as you cupped him. The thin material did nothing to prevent the precum from leaking onto your palm.

Sliding your hand under the waistband, you palmed him again; skin on skin. Your thumb rimmed his tip, spreading the beads to make him slick in your hand. His muscles tensed, he grabbed the sheets and fisted them into his hands once you began pumping him. You smirked at him as you leaned down to take him in your mouth. Perhaps Cas wanted to lead, but you knew he was enjoying you dominate just as much as you were. You had loved him for a very long time and now that you were finally able to have him, you weren’t going to let it go by unnoticed; everything you had ever wanted, he was about to feel everything that you had felt.

As your tongue swirled over him, a whine escaped his lips; his hands moving and fingers weaving into your hair. You took as much of him as you could, your hand doing the rest while the other fondled him. As you sucked him, bobbing your head up and down his length, his hips bucked in rhythm; groans escaping his chapped lips and he began whispering your name. Honestly, his cries were enough to get you off but you needed him. He began to quiver; his length convulsing. Pulling away with a pop, Cas let out a groaning protest; you hadn’t let him finish.

“(y/n),” his blue orbs searched you; trying to gauge if he had done something wrong. Instantly, your lips crashed into his; his eyes closing as he lost himself within your clutches. His hands traveled over; exploring as he removed your clothing. Like his, your shirt came off first followed by the bra. When he took off your pants, he didn’t hesitate with the panties either. Flipping you over, him on top, his fingers trailed down your waist. He began teasing you, running his finger over your slit but not committing to penetrate.  It wasnt too long before his thumb was circling your clit in slow, tantalizing motions; slipping two of his long fingers inside you, curving them as he pulled them out and pushing back in. Just like you had done to him, he had you going. Your hands gripped his biceps, moaning softly as your hips met his rhythm. It wasnt long before you could feel yourself getting close, considering you had been on edge for a while now. As your muscles began to contract, he removed his fingers from your slick slit. Before you even had time to protest, his lips were on yours; your arms tangled around his back as he lined up with you, your legs pulling him closer.

“So beautiful,” he whispered into your ear, slowly slipping inside you inch by inch. He waited until you adjusted to him before he pulled out. Pushing back in, in the same slow manner, he began a soft steady pace. You wanted for him to speed up, but at the same time it was perfect; everything was perfect. This is what you had wanted. You wanted the angel, you wanted him to love you as you did him and here you were; the both of you lost in the moment as you were consumed in each other. Cas was slowly making love to you, doing everything he could to make it last longer; neither of you wanting it to end. From the previous activities, it didn’t take long before you were both close to losing it. Cas was throbbing and your muscles were convulsing. Each cry of the others name sending you closer and closer.

“(y/n), I’m close,” he grunted. You hummed in response and he moved his hand down to circle your clit. As soon as he grazed your bulb, your back was arching as you let loose; your orgasm taking over your senses. Cas filled you not long after; his hips continued, riding the both of you through your orgasms.

He softened inside you, but he remained on top; his forehead resting on your shoulder as he tried to catch his breath. Your hands were still on his back; as you came to your senses you realized your fingernails had been digging into his skin. He didn’t move; didn’t say anything. He just stayed positioned over you, head resting on your shoulder, for a very long time; you began to think he regretted the whole thing.

“Cas-“ you shifted slightly, your voice shaky. What if he had regretted it? What if he didn’t enjoy it like you had? What if he didn’t want you?

“Im in love with you,” he whispered, not bothering to lift his head to meet your gaze. A smile tugged your lips.
“and it terrifies me.” he finished. The smile that was held on your features began to fade.

“Cas?” you tried again but this time it was in a different manner. What did he mean by that? He buried his face deeper in your neck as you said his name. Your hands moved up to his head, your fingers lifting so you could meet his gaze. Tears glossed in his orbs, he was looking down, not bothering to meet your gaze. Sliding your fingers into his hair, he moved into your touch as a tear fell onto your naked form.
“Cas,” you repeated, trying your best to get him to explain. What was paining him so much?

“Ive messed up. I do things and I always screw up,” he began shaking his head, lifting himself off of you so he could sit up.

“But you meant well,” you try to reason, sitting up with him. “Castiel, your intentions were to be helpful-“

“They don’t see it that way. Nobody sees it that way but you,” he finally met your gaze; your heart shattered as you looked into his blue saddened eyes.
“They don’t care of what I intended; they only care about what happened. The angels are looking for me,” he hesitated, “and when they find me…” he trailed off.

“They will have to go through me,” you cleared, no joking relevant in your voice. He watched you for a moment before looking away, shaking his head.

“Thats not going to happen. Your not going to be here.” he tried to conclude. Your brows furrowed and you crossed your arms, keeping the sheet above your chest.

“The hell I’m not!” your voice raised at him. Before you could continue, he spoke ahead.

”(y/n) they will use you to get to me. Once they find out what you are and how much you mean to me, they’re not even going to hesitate. They will torture you and they will do it while I’m watching just so they can try to prove their point. I will not stand for that.” His response left you speechless. He didn’t want anything to happen to you, but what you didn’t realize was you didn’t want anything to happen to him either.

“Well I’m not going any where.” you cleared.

”(y/n),” he tried to fight your answer.

“Stop trying to reason with me, Cas. I’m not going back to the bunker, I’m not going anywhere period. I’fm staying right here next to you whether you want me here or not.” Your tone seemed to push him back and fill him with unease.

“Of course I want you here. Its just not safe.” his voice was low and filled with defeat. His chest fell and his shoulders slumped.

“I realize that, so stop pushing me away. I know your scared. Hell, i am too; but I’m not leaving you. Your stuck with me.” you sat up and moved closer to him. He wouldn’t meet your gaze so you cuddled into him instead.
“I love you and you love me. I want you safe and you want me safe. The only logical reasoning is to be together and look out for one another. Its you and me against the world; just like Sam and Dean. Whatever it is that we have to do in order to survive, then thats what we’ll do.” His eyes leveled with yours and you could tell he was having a battle of contradiction between happiness and worry.

"I can’t protect you like I could when I had my grace,” the worry seeped through his tone. Giving him a warm, comforting smile, you pulled him in tighter.

“Angel or not, I love you. You’re the same assbutt that I’ve been in love with since forever and I know if something ever does happen, your not going to let anything happen to me; and I’m not going to let anything happen to you. If and when the time comes that something does occur, we’ll know what to do and if we don’t, then well figure it out.” you could tell he was accepting your admittance. You had won with flying colors; you weren’t going anywhere and he wasnt going to make you leave. His arms tightened around
you, pulling you in as close as possible; cradling you from the world. Protecting you. After a long while, he finally spoke up.

“Will you promise me one thing?” Lifting your head, you met his gaze awaiting his response.
“If something does happen to me, promise me you won’t do anything irrational.”

“Cas,” you sighed.

“Im serious,” he held no humor in his tone or features.

“And I’m not going to make a promise I can’t keep. You would do the irrational thing if something happened to me.” The former angel sighed, coming to terms that you were as hard headed as you were human. You noticed the worry that still contaminated his thoughts and you sat up, placing a kiss on his lips.
“Enough about the future, lets focus on now,” you pleaded, poking out your lip in attempt for him to succumb.

“Okay,” he sighed and it made you perk up a little. His stomach growled and you felt it rumble against your side.

“Alrighty then,” you giggled, “how about we get some food? I think we worked up an appetite, don’t you?” you teased him and a smile lit up his lips.

“Oh, I think were going to work up a lot of appetites.” he smirked before crashing his lips on yours. Perhaps the future was a complete mystery. There were things you weren’t sure of, but what you did know was that, Cas was Cas and you were you. The both of you loved one another dearly and nothing was going to get in the way of that. Whatever obstacles were to come, you would face them together. Talking to Dean, sooner rather than later, would be one of the first things to do. You and Cas would definitely be safe in the confines of the bunker, but you weren’t going back without him; you weren’t going anywhere without him.