cartoon husband

9

Kale from Sinbad: Legend of the Seven Seas: requested by @somehow-you-will

text message starters pt. 1
  • [ text; ] this is a terrible idea
  • [ text; ] fuCK you f*ck your cartoon hotdog husband fuck his stupid sunglasses and FUCK the ketchup kids (and fuck THEIR sunglasses)
  • [ text; ] i need help.
  • [ text; ] i don' t know wh a t to fuckign do w i th myself a nymo re
  • [ text; ] i got a dog!!!!! I GOT A DOG!!!!
  • [ text; ] please let me come over and pet your dog?
  • [ text; ] anyway i'm bleeding, like, really badly. no worries though i'm good
  • [ text; ] i love death and dying
  • [ text; ] i fucked up. i fucked up really badly.
  • [ text; ] I BROKE EVERYTHING
  • [ text; ] AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
  • [ text; ] don't freak out but i'm in the hospital.
  • [ text; ] leave me alone.
  • [ text; ] i said not to talk to me.
  • [ text; ] QUICK WHAT'S YOUR FAVORITE HIGH SCHOOL MUSICAL SONG
  • [ text; ] some-
  • [ text; ] this might be the last text i ever send you.
  • [ text; ] i'm going to do it.
  • [ text; ] i'm sorry.
  • [ text; ] fCUK I PUNCHED MYSELF I NTHE FACE
  • [ text; ] i'm playing club penguin and you wouldn't believe the shit these 9 year olds are saying to me
  • [ text; ] you okay?
  • [ text; ] i'm so worried please text back please please please
  • [ text; ] 'i don't drink coffee,' i say, before chugging an entire pot of it
  • [ text; ] what would happen if i just, like, downed seven five-hour energies. does that equal 35 hours of energy
  • [ text; ] brb, descending into hell.
  • [ text; ] it's 3 am and i can't sleep
  • [ text; ] GO TO BED!!!!!!!!

That right there is the evolvo-ray, now let’s talk about the evolvo-ray. Can we talk about the evolvo-ray, please, Tropy? I’ve been dying to talk about the evolvo-ray with you all day, okay? Dr. Cortex. This name keeps coming up over and over again. Every day Cortex’s credit isn’t getting sent back to me. Dr. Cortex. Dr. Cortex. I look in the mail THIS WHOLE BOX IS DR. CORTEX! So I say to myself “I gotta find this guy, I gotta go up to his lair, I gotta put my fist in the guy’s god damn face!” otherwise he’s never gonna get it, he’s gonna keep coming back down here! So I go up to Cortex’s office and what do I found out Tropy? What do I? Find? Out? There is no Dr. Cortex. The man does not exist. Okay, so I decided ooooooh shit buddy I gotta dig a little deeper “There’s no Dr. Cortex?” You gotta be kidding me I GOT BOXES FULL OF CORTEX! Alright so I start marching my way down to N. Gin in HR anD I KNOCK ON HIS DOOR AND I SAY “N. GIIIN! N. GIIIN! I GOTTA TALK TO YOU ABOUT CORTEX!” and when I open the door what do I find? There’s not a single god damn desk in that lair. There is… No… N. Gin in HR… Tropy, Half the minions in this iceberg have been made up. This lair is a god damn ghost town.

  • Me: *takes deep breath*
  • Me: I lo-
  • Anyone who has spent five seconds around me ever: yes, you love The Warden, we know, you love Warden so much, they are the light of your life, you love them so much, you just love Warden, we KNOW, you love Warden you fucking love Warden ok we know, we get it, YOU LOVE THE WARDEN. WE GET IT.