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Description: Bucky sees all the damage he’s physically done to you because of what H.Y.D.R.A. did to his mind.
Warnings: sad, angst, unintentional physical harm comes to the reader, nightmares, ptsd, barely any fluff
The night was cool and even through the closed window you could hear the passing of honking cars in the busy street. You’d become accustomed to it, it no longer interrupted you sleeping schedule. The apartment you lived in was shared with your adoring boyfriend, Bucky.
Getting into this relationship, Steve wanted to remind you that because of what was going on in his brain during his H.Y.D.R.A. days, that it could manifest itself back into him without any trigger. He described Bucky as, “a bomb just waiting to go off.” You could tell it hurt Steve to have to describe his best friend that way.
People were giving you the whole spiel about “how you can’t change people”, that “he’s never going to be a normal person.” Even Bucky was scared for you, he didn’t want to put you in harms way.
But, you were headstrong. You loved Bucky with all your heart. You knew what he could do. The thing was, you weren’t afraid. You weren’t scared of him. You never were.
Bucky was haunted with vivid nightmares about the awful torture and killing he had been through and done. Almost every night he relived through something different. Sometimes, they were so realistic that he would get on top of you and restrain you, cursing you in his sleep. This was a normal occurrence when he had nightmares of the doctors that tore apart his mind.
He would always wake up of no recollection of what happened, and you never told him. All he remembered was the nightmare itself. You didn’t want to make him feel guilty, it didn’t bother you actually. You knew what he went through was traumatizing, so you never blamed him for what happened when he was in his sleep.
It was a beautiful Sunday morning and you woke up next to your most favorite person in the world. Bucky was sound asleep, his arm wrapped around you, his scruff brushing your bare shoulder.
You raised your arm behind you to run your fingers through his hair and you felt him smile against your skin.
“Good morning babe.” His raspy voice breaking the silence. You loved the way he sounded right after he woke up.
“Good morning Bucky.” You chuckled as he placed an array of kisses along your shoulder, neck, and face. “Hey, I’m gonna take a shower. Then I’ll make us breakfast, okay?” You rolled over onto him, both of you giggling, his hands on your back. The coolness of his metal arm sending shivers up your spine.
“You’re gonna leave me here in the absence of your warmth? How could you?” He had a huge smile on his tired face as you leaned down and kissed him one last time before making your way to the bathroom.
You turned on the water and stripped off your crinkled pajamas. Before you got in, you saw yourself in the mirror out of the corner of you eye. Turning towards the mirror, you saw yourself in full for the first time in a long time. You realized in that moment how much your body was covered in bruises; new and old. Your hips and ribs slightly blue and purple from when Bucky gripped you hard during a nightmare that scared him to tears. Your thighs were expressing the same coloration and your arms had little scratches from his fingernails where he had dug them into you. You never noticed them before. You weren’t angry or upset, you understood this is what came with the nightmares he had.
“F/N, I hope you don’t mind if I join you for your shower.” He opened the door with a smirk on his face. “I’d like to love you some m-” he stopped mid-sentence as he looked up and saw your naked body and all the marks on it. “Baby, what’s- what happened?” You turned to face him and him placed his hands on your shoulders. You didn’t make any attempt to cover them up, he already saw. You just had to find the words to tell him. “Tell me. Why do you have all these bruises… a-and scratches?” He spoke softly, but his voice with filled with concern.
“Bucky.. it’s fine. I’m okay.” You gave him a shy smile as you looked up at him. His gaze fluttered up and down your body. “Bucky..” You didn’t know what to tell him, or even how.
A sudden realization hit Bucky and it felt he took a blow to the gut. “I- I did this..” He voice cracked and the hurt in it made you wince. “I did this.. didn’t I?” The thought of him hurting you and damaging your beautiful body brought tears to his eyes.
The water was still running, but you ignored it. “I’m okay. I know you don’t mean it. We’re going to be okay. I love you. That’s all that matters to me. I love you so god damn much, that guess what? I’m willing to go through this pain with you.” You pulled his forehead down to yours, gripping the front of his t-shirt to bring him down to you.
“I’m so sorry F/N. I’m- I’m so sorry. I never wanted to hurt you and I can’t believe I did this. It won’t ever happen again.” At the point Bucky was sobbing, holding onto you for support.
He was so upset, and you were his support system. You placed a kiss on his lips and helped him undress. You helped him get into the shower as he was stumbling from the emotional pain. There was no love making. You helped him wash his hair, having the water just warm enough to feel calming against his skin. He was silent as you wrapped yourself in a towel went into the bedroom to grab some clothes for you both.
When you returned to the bathroom he was out of the shower, looking at the ground. You got him dressed and brought him back to bed. “I’ll be right back. I’m going to make some coffee, just the way you like it.” You kissed him on his head and gave him a sad smile. As you were turning away, he gently held your hand and didn’t let go.
“Don’t go… please.” He whispered at you with hurt eyes. It made you feel so broken inside.
“Okay.. I won’t go anywhere.” You climbed back into bed with him and snuggled up to his chest. “I’m never going to leave you. We’re gonna be okay.”
He whispered into your hair, “F/N, I’m sorry.” You told him how happy you were with him and that things were going to get better. The soft fabric against your skin and the warmth of your bodies brought both of you back to sleep.
As you fell asleep, all you could think of was that everything was going to turn out alright. You loved and trusted Bucky and that was all that mattered.
- Germany is the most populous country of the European Union - Ethnic groups: German 91.5%, Turkish 2.4%, other 6.1% (made up largely of Greek, Italian, Polish, Russian, Serbo-Croatian, other European); Danish minority in the north, Sorbian (Slavic) minority in the east - population is well educated with modern and cosmopolitan views - fair amount of plurality in the lifestyles and diversity in the cultures - demographic challenges such as aging population, immigration issues, depleting incomes due to world economic crisis - the business culture in Germany is unique in the world - engineers and managers are given higher appreciation than accountants and lawyers; the people on the job have good academics and technical proficiency - hierarchy is prominent in almost every organization and most of the power is vested in the hands of top level senior managers - roles and responsibilities are strictly defined and the business processes are very well defined - people tend to be less social in the working environment and separate work life and personal life - teamwork could probably be best described as a group of individuals working to a specific leader towards a recognizable goal - one of the qualities of Germans is that they put facts ahead of emotions and hence behave very objectively - they have a direct communication style - German industry is very diversified and in many sectors it is a global leader - Germany’s greatest strength is its automobile industry - the country committed itself to developing renewable energy sources such as wind and solar power - infrastructural facilities are very strong in Germany which facilitates the growth of any business in the country - it has one of the world’s most technologically advanced telecommunications systems - the broadcasting media, especially TV and radio, is deeply penetrated as more than 90% of homes have cable TV, which provides ample opportunities for effective business promotions and marketing - internet population is 20.416 million which is 5th-largest in the world despite a population of only about 80 million - well-developed transportation systems in terms of airways, railways, roadways, ports etc.
Source: A YUM brand/Taco Bell Market Analysis info sheet on Germany