carry's back

10

My Space Mom™

Keith: (slowly and a little too loud) Hey, It’s me Keith. I am your fa-ther. We are bonding? Yes?

Lance: Keith, no. Just no. You know, she can’t talk, right? Try again. Just talk to her, like a normal person and not, I don’t know, like you are a robot who works with the elderly, maybe? 

Keith: Hi, I’m your dad.

Lance: Better.

Keith: Well, one of your dads. You have two dads. Your other dad, Lance, he is going to be a great dad. You’re a lucky little girl. Honestly, I have no idea what I am doing, but I’ll love you. I love you now, more than I thought I could ever love someone I just met. And I promise I will always protect you. In fact, I’d slaughter-

Lance: Uh, I’m gonna stop you there, Keith. Up until the slaughtering, you were doing great. Can I have our baby back, now? 

(Lance looks like a man who regrets his life choices and it cracks me up. He doesn’t. Just the fact that Keith really has no clue about babies is dawning on him.)