carry mace

i. Aphrodite has given up on love. She listens to boys yelling obscene things at innocent girls. She can be found serving drinks at the local bar to broken women and spitting poisonous words at the filthy gentlemen next to them.
ii. Apollo dreads the moment the sun rises. Because when the sun goes up, his local late night show ends and his hour of fame comes to a close. He can be found spending his days, sitting on a park bench asking for loose change and wishing his poetry was good enough.
iii. Ares doesn’t understand war anymore. All he sees is needless bloodshed and brutal homicide based upon abhorrent racial cleansing and childish disagreements. He can be found weeping over the destruction of schools and the murder of innocent children.
iv. Artemis doesn’t hunt game anymore. She carries a switchblade and mace, prepared to fight off any boy harassing a girl with intoxicated footsteps. She can be found holding back girl’s hair as they vomit up their insecurities while sobs wrack their body into the next morning.
v. Athena has stopped believing in reason. When there’s international conflict concerning who marries who and a nationwide crisis about the newest fashion, reason just doesn’t seem applicable anymore. She can be found protesting with college students about real problems.
vi. Dionysus can’t help the madness. When the frequency of mental illness - in children nonetheless, has become so high? What’s the point? He can be found at the same pub and same seat as always; drinking the same dry whisky wishing everything would be the same as it used to be.
vii. Hades can’t stand jewels anymore. Emeralds reflect the envy and greed of humanity while rubies reflect their sexual and blood lust. He can be found rolling his eyes at people begging for their lives in the allies while human demons hunt them down for materialistic ends.
viii. Hephaestus has developed a hatred of fire. It does nothing but steal. It steal oxygen from the air and steal people from their families. Fire does not give it takes. He can be found saving everything he can from fire’s wrath, but will later choke on the smoke of his cigarette.
ix. Hermes can’t stand traveling. His legs are weak and his eyes are strained. He’s carried too many messages to people about the death of loved ones and the love letters are scarce. He can be found stealing, not money, but of their hope and strength because he’s hasn’t any left.

The gods are among us and they can’t survive. Why should I?

—  “Modern Mythology” by Maggie McCloskey 
Normal Horoscope

Aries: The stars say to drink lots of water but they pronounced it kinda weird.

Taurus: Tomorrow will be like a tractor, methodical and full of gears.

Gemini: A bit of soul got knocked off today and its rattling around in your stomach.

Cancer: Keep a sharp eye out. That way it can be drawn and sheathed quickly.

Leo: Take advantage of your opportunity. Its not often one gets to physically punch sadness.

Virgo: Preserve the chaos of the universe and present a scorned lover with a live chicken.

Libra: Don’t worry so much. If all else fails you can sell dirt as medicine to white people.

Scorpio: When signing up for classes next semester, avoid the teacher who uses a boa constrictor as a whip.

Saggatarius: Find order in your life by replacing all recepticles in your home with identical shoeboxes.

Capricorn: Make some money in your spare time by dreaming for other people.

Aquarius: The best history teachers carry ornamental maces. You are that teacher.

Picses: A trenchcoat seems too hot. It’s only raining ash.

40 tips for incoming college freshmen
  1. “I’ll sign up for morning class because I tookclasses in the morning in high school.” NO DON’T DO THAT YOU’RE GOING TO WANTTO KILL YOURSELF
  2. If you can,try to spread your schedule so it’s 9-5. It’ll get you used to functioning atthose hours.
  3. Go to seminars. Pick up on some random shit. Impress people with random shit. But don’t be cocky.
  4. There’s literally no popularity so you really don’t have to fucking deal with cliques or anything just find your group and branch out and go from there.
  5. If you’re drinking:
    2. Have a cup of water (or a bit of Gatorade) between every drink. You’ll never get a hangover.
    3. Don’t be fucking loud. Everyone hates the loud drunk and you’ll get the cops called on you and that’s bad shit.
    4. Don’t mix your liquor with other liquor and oh my God don’t mix it with anything else like drugs that’s just asking for a crisis.
    5. If your buddy is in a really bad place call 911. Don’t be that douchebag who thinks that someone can sleep it off.
  7. College is for expanding your mind. Talk to friends about their majors. Attend their events or art shows. Talk to someone you met about their religion. Take an English class on Lord of the Rings. Learn things you wouldn’t normally learn in high school.
  8. Love might come. It might not. Don’t worry about it and it won’t be a problem. You’re young.
  9. Don’t be the douchebag who plays acoustic guitar in the lounge.
  10. Have fun because you’re spending a fuckton of money to be there but do your homework.
  11. There’s a general rule of college that if you were sitting in that seat for over two weeks, that is your seat. Not many if any professors have seating arrangements but switching seats will fuck everyone up.
  12. Get there early and stay late. As soon as you get home you will not want to do shit. Stay on campus and do some homework while you’re in the environment.
  13. SIT UP FRONT. The best way to start understanding something is to listen to someone talk about it and you can’t do that from the back of the class trying to listen over everyone whispering to each other. LISTENING WILL MAKE HOMEWORK SO MUCH EASIER. 
  14. Be childish, but be respectful. Have a massive snowball fight across campus, but don’t aim for anyone not taking part. 
  15. SHUT THE FUCK UP IN THE LIBRARY. Some people work there, some people sleep there. It is a quiet space. 
  16. Don’t be afraid to talk to professors. They are not there to flunk you. They would rather you pass than not.
  18. Get involved. It will help you make friends, give you new skills to learn, and even help you get a leg up in the work place if you know the right people.
  19. Take time for yourself—buy a planner, figure out when your best study hours are, figure out WHERE you study best, and figure out how much time you need to complete an assignment—AND THEN make sure to pencil in an hour for video games, some time to watch a TV show, or time to just lay on your floor and blow bubbles. Whatever you like. Don’t forget about YOU.
  20. SLEEP. EAT. DRINK WATER. Don’t die. Caffeine =/= sleep. I cannot emphasize that this much.
  21. COMMUNICATE WITH YOUR INSTRUCTORS! If you’re sick, shoot an e-mail and say “Hey, I’m sick today. Can I set up a time to talk to you about what I missed?” If you’ve got a good opportunity (scholarships, to go to another country, to check out a cool lecture, etc.) let your prof know ahead of time. If you just need time to work on projects, all it takes is an e-mail. We understand. I gave a student a free skip day because he e-mailed me and said “Hey, look, I have two massive tests and a project due and I need the time to study.” And THAT IS OKAY
  22. Before signing up for classes, look on “" and see if the teachers at your campus are included. There may be two or more teachers for the same course, and you want to try and pick the good/easy one. Who your professor is can have a great affect on what grade you make, even for the “same” class. 
  23. Look for a facebook group for your “graduating class” set up, which is a good way to make friends and find people with similar interests (particularly for introverts). 
  24. Look for a facebook group for your “graduating class” set up, which is a good way to make friends and find people with similar interests (particularly for introverts). 
  25. If no one else does it, make a google doc of the exam reviews and post it on the class facebook page. That way everyone contributes to the review. 200 brains are most definitely better than 1. 
  26. During lectures, unless Internet is required, TURN IT OFF. If it’s on, you WILL end up on tumblr or some other site, and you will miss important shit. 
  27. For the love of God, pay attention to your syllabus. Sometimes assignments are listed there, and that’s the only place it’ll be mentioned. Also, if it says to do a reading by a specific date, DO THE READING BY THAT DATE. Otherwise you will get behind, and you will have 200+ pages of textbooks to read in one night before the test, and you will cry.
  28. Yes you actually need to do the readings. Yes it is a lot. Yes it will suck. Do it anyways. 
  29. If you are used to getting all A’s, do not cry when you get a B. Take it from someone who killed herself for two years to maintain a 4.0, it feels like the end of the world when your GPA drops, but it’s not. You’ll be okay. Just breathe and do your best. Your best is good enough.
  30. Try to make sure you leave an open hour around midday so that you have time to get food in you. A lot of people forget to do this. If you have to have back to back classes, check your syllabus or with your teacher—some midday classes allow you to bring in a drink and a snack. Some will even allow you a full meal.
  31. If you can get an online/pdf copy of the book without busting the bank, DO IT. Sometimes there are even annotated versions online. This can make notetaking a shitton easier, because you can highlight printed-out versions of the book and they won’t dock you on the money back. Sometimes professors move through their lecture too fast for you to write stuff down. Shrugging off that old ‘don’t ruin your books’ rule you had in high school may be your only hope.
  32. UNLESS YOU NEED THEM OR REALLY WANT TO KEEP THEM TRY TO SELL BACK YOUR BOOKS—maybe even offer them online to incoming students. You won’t get nearly the worth of them but someone after you will thank you a million times over for providing a used copy. If you take good notes, you can sometimes buy/sell those as well. A lot of professors teach literally the same class every time.
  33. IF YOUR PROFESSOR PUTS NOTES ONLINE GET THEM. GET THEM NOW. TRUST ME. YOU WANT THOSE NOTES. Bring them in with you if it’s possible to get them before class.
  34. Keep change on hand. Always.
  35. The Best Way To Make Friends:
    1. Bring a printer with you to college and offer to print people’s stuff for half of what the school does or for free if you can afford it.
    2. Carry around small candies with you and offer them to people while waiting outside of class. If you are the ‘candy person’ this gives you an in for starting conversations.
    3. Buy a jumbo pack of chalk and find an open sidewalk on a free day. Write the words ‘Come draw with me?’ and begin doodling.
    4. Have a pack of cards.
  36. If you go onto campus and you can’t find what you’re looking for, and you are afraid to go up to someone and ask, find an open, well-populated area, hold your schedule/map in hand, and walk in circles for a few minutes, looking up and around in obvious confusion. Other students know this body language well. Someone will stop and point you in the right direction. (if you are worried that the person’s directions are a joke or faulty, wait for them to leave and take up the stance again; if the directions match-up the second time, they’re legit; do not allow a person to ‘show you the way’ unless EVERY STEP is along an obvious walkway, just in case)
  37. For those of you who fear assault, most campuses aren’t much for small blades or mace. Carry a pocket air horn or a hand bag of those little pop-rock fireworks unless you can get a concealed weapons permit.
  38. Make friends with transfer kids. Chances are, they won’t be able to live in the dorms and it’ll be ten times harder for them to meet people since they have to drive to and from campus. It’s also fun hearing about their experiences before the college you both go to. 
  39. Make friends with an older student. I’m talking about students who have families and full-time jobs. You can learn a lot from them, and they honestly have the best stories. They’re often the smartest and the most dedicated, so they make great study buddies. 
  40. Your teachers are people! Joke around with them, talk to them a bit during break. Make sure they at least recognize you as “that dude with the god-awful puns during break”. In my experience, professors are even more willing to bend over backwards to help the students they know. (But also, in general? They want you to learn! If there’s a way they can easily help, there’s a really good possibility they’ll do it!

Just cleaned up this post ≧◡≦

Imagine...Demon Dean Being Obsessed With You

Characters: Y/n, Dean


Warnings: Angst, dark ass fic, kidnapping, reader held hostage, Demon Dean being a stalker and gross, sadness, just…it’s weird and dark…

Word count: 971

Summary: You’re the only thing on his mind and he’s determined to make you love him, whether you like it or not.

A/N: Ok, so…requested fic by anon - Could you write a Demon!Dean fic based on Make You Love Me by Gavin Creel where he becomes kinda obsessed with the reader? Ok, so took me forever to find the song, and this is where I went with it. Dark as hell, but this is where my mind decided to go. . Also, sorry this took sooo long!! Hope u like it!!

Tagged peeps: @waywardsons-imagines @whywhydoyouwantmetosaymyname @sallyp-53 @greyravenvixen @helvonasche @notnaturalanahi @wayward-mirage @riversong-sam @nerdflash @miss-miep @impala-dreamer @unknown-chronicles @chelsea072498 @deals-with-demons @plaidstiel-wormstache @impalaimagining @deathtonormalcy56 @the-latina-trickster @aingealcethlenn @squirrels-angels-and-moose @meganwinchester1999 @cubs2019-blog @lucifer-in-leather @p–trick @straightestgay-voice @professsionalsinner @deantheotherkingofkinks @50shadesofyes @lucis-unicorn @whispersandwhiskerburn @lucibae-is-dancing-in-hell @colespriverdale @daddysxlittlexsunshine @atc74 @wonderange @mogaruke @aiaranradnay @totalwhovian @bloodstained-porcelain-doll


He’d say he loved you.

In his sick and twisted mind, the way he felt was love.

Ever since he’d left Sam in that bunker, left his little brother and embraced life as a demon, Dean had no interest in anything.

He’d fuck women. 

Leave them sad and alone in bed. 

Find another, and repeat the cycle.

He had no care for anything or anyone.

But then there was you.

You hooked him immediately.

Keep reading

I can assure you all of them would react badly except Cultseph

Joseph: Joseph would let his church know that he will be closing church indefinitely. He doesn’t take his children out to the park until they’re caught. He would probably ask them to meet him somewhere, and set them up to get caught by the police.

Brian: He would be freaked out by them. He would make sure that they stay far away from him and his daughter. He carries mace around and stays home often. He makes sure to drive Daisy home and back from school. He will spray mace at them if they break into his house, and he will call the cops.

Mat: Mat would close his coffee shop for a while and lock himself home. He would take Carmensita out of school as long as they’re roaming. He would call the cops if he saw them outside of his window, and pray that they’re caught

Hugo: Hugo would report them to the authorities prematurely. They would find out, and would get mad. Hugo would probably have to call for a substitute in school, and he could just teach Ernest at home. He wouldn’t go back to teaching until the authorities catch the love-sick killer.

Damien: Damien would think it’s just an Otaku thing at first, but when he sees first sign of blood lust from them he’ll book it. He would grab Lucien and hide with him in a safe room until the police arrive and take them away.

Robert: Robert would cut contact from them. Even if it was a joke or not, killing people isn’t cool. He would avoid them as much as possible, and he might get confronted by them. He might get stabbed if he tries to run. Basically he’s just kinda fucked.

Craig: Craig would call the police as soon as he found out, lock all the doors and windows in his house, and he would hide in a room with the twins and River, waiting for them to be caught. Once the yandere is caught they all take a day of relaxation from the overwhelming and scary incident.

~Mod Hugo

einzweidreivier  asked:

Hey what part of co are you from I just moved to western slope area, my roommate says it's bear and cougar country so I'm a bit nervous about nighttime lol

I’m living in Durango right now!  And yes, you are in bear/cougar country. So this essay’s going to sound real scary but consider: I’ve lived in CO for… 13 years now, and have seen exactly One(1) bear and evidence of a Cougar Once.  I’ve also never been attacked or even severely harassed by an animal, so this is mostly In Case of Emergency Advice.


1. ALWAYS BE AWARE OF YOUR SURROUNDINGS.  Really, traffic is going to be more dangerous, but being as aware as possible will help you more than anything else.  You know that thing you’re supposed to do when driving where you check all your mirrors every so often?  Do that while walking. Look up, to either side, down and behind you every so often.  Keep your ears open and if you think you hear something, stop and listen for a bit.  Take some deep breaths, and smell the air around you.

This is good for both your safety AND for enjoying the lovely country we have out here.  Once you get used to looking around, its really nice all the cool things you can discover!

2. DON’T PANIC.  Douglas Addams was spot-on with is advice.  if you do encounter something Dangerous, remain calm.  Odds are that if you hold still and just watch, it’ll keep going about its business and leave you alone. 

OK, now for bears and cougars:

1.  Cougars are really shy and almost never confront humans (the last fatal cougar attack was in 1997, so literally 20 years ago), but if you’re hiking in the back country and suddenly smell cat pee, TURN RIGHT THE FUCK AROUND and walk back the way you came.  Fresh piss means it’s in the area, and running makes you look like food.

2.  Bears also, tend to stay away from people, EXCEPT:  in March and September-October, bears get stupid hungry and go looking for food in all kinds of places.  Never leave pet food outside, and if you compost, stop during those months.  The bear that broke into my house did so under extenuating circumstances- there had just been a large wildfire that summer so he got pushed out of his usual foraging area.

3.  In general, you’re MOST likely to encounter bear and cougar in the far back country.  If you plan on doing back country hiking, wear LOTS of bug spray and bear-bells.  as long as you stink and make noise, they’ll sense you coming and leave you alone.  You can also sing!

4. if you DO encounter one either 1. Go back inside and call the Department of Wildlife, or if you’re not near a building, 2. Scream, make yourself look as big as possible and throw rocks or sticks at it.  99.99% of the time, that will scare it shitless and it will run off.


OK, now for the animals you ACTUALLY are likely to encounter:

COYOTES: Urbanized, come out at night and from January-late March, they’re all hyped up on sex hormones and can get super-aggressive, triple especially if you have a dog with you.  Carry mace, and if you see them, follow the Screaming-Shit-Throwing Maniac Model stated above.

TICKS:  we have brown dog ticks here that carry Rocky Mountain Spotted Fever, and Deer ticks that carry Lyme disease.  if you’re in urban/suburban areas, they’re less of an issue, but if you go into the back country, do not skimp on the DEET (follow instructions carefully tho!) , tuck your pants into your socks and have a friend check you when you get home.  if you find one, make sure you remove the whole thing, keep the body sealed in some tape and get tested ASAP.

MOOSE, ELK AND DEER:  I’m not sure how far north you are, but the most dangerous wild animal in CO is Moose.  Really. Stay on designated trails and out of the back country from October-November to avoid rut, and exercise caution in spring when calving happens.  Do not approach, and if they put their heads down while Facing you, they are going to charge your best bet is to book it sideways and climb up a rock or large tree.

Deer and Elk tend to be less moody, but are still unpredictable, especially if they’ve become acclimated to humans, and during rut October-November.  Keep your distance, and if they’re on the move, give them the right-of-way. DO NOT attempt to feed or pet.

RATTLESNAKES: Mostly an issue in the southern half of the state.  They mostly want to be left alone and come with their own alarm system!  Though they sound less like maraccas and more like a vibrator set on high.  Stay ON the trail and OUT of tall grass from March-October, and you will very probably never see one.  If you DO see one, wait for it to leave or walk a good six feet around it.  they can only strike in a distance of 3-4 feet, so stay away and you’ll be fine!

If you do get bit, stay calm, sit down, call 911 and take off any rings, jewelry etc. that may get stuck if your extremities start to swell.  Let the wound bleed freely for a minute before cleaning.  About 8000 people get bit every year in the US, but only 8 die of it, mostly from not calling for help. 

LIGHTNING: not an animal, but the Most Dangerous Thing in CO after humans and cars.  If you can hear thunder, you are within striking distance and need to take cover.  Get inside a building or car if you can. If you can’t, squat down to keep your head low, and touch the ground as little as possible, and wait for it to pass.  DO NOT try to hide under trees, which tend to explode when struck.

So that probably sounded awful, but I promise that your chances of actually getting in a dangerous situation are very low as long as you stay alert and calm.

Happy hiking!

anonymous asked:

i'm in love with your writing it actually gives me life lmao but i was wondering if you could do a RFA+V+Saeran where they're in the zombie apocalypse?? if you don't want to that's perfectly fine, but i'm also obsessed with the walking dead and i think it'd be pretty cool-thank uu !! ~~


This is an interesting one! Thanks for the requests, guys!

~If you wanted an actual scenario, you can inbox me. Specify one of the MM characters (doing them all would be too much) and I’ll get to it when I can.^^

◉ Yoosung

  • He was a strong warrior in LOLOL
  • Now it was time for him to be strong in real life!
  • Actually like super violent??
  • When it comes to protecting you
  • His weapon is a Long sword 
  • He feels like a real medieval warrior when he’s protecting you, slashing through the enemy
  • Gets this crazed look in his eyes if you’re in danger
  • He does change, he’s no longer this soft boi anymore
  • He was finally a manly man
  • Kind of made you sad that the Yoosung you knew was long gone, but damn he was keeping you alive so…

◉ Jumin

  • He has a ginormous, extremely secure underground bunker.
  • There’s seeds to grow for years and years and a grow room
  • Solar power w/backup generators
  • Literally everything and anything you could need to survive this
  • Comfortably
  • You were shocked like
  • When tf did he have this built????
  • He would be extra clingy with you
  • Yes, it’s possible.
  • Does not want you out of his sight, EVER
  • He’s happy as long as you’re down there with him
  • Couldn’t care less about what happens to anyone else

◉ Zen

  • The only thing he cares about is protecting you
  • You guys go around on his motorcycle
  • It’s a lot easier to maneuver than a car and faster, too
  • He has two guns
  • But also carries a mace for melee
  • Bullets don’t last forever
  • You guys just ride around constantly moving
  • siphoning gas when you need to and trying to find food
  • He was lost for a while
  • His life revolved around his looks and now he couldn’t rely on that
  • He’s just grateful he has street smarts instead of book smarts, and that’s helped keep you guys alive

◉ Jaehee

  • This girl
  • She doesn’t need a weapon
  • Her body is her weapon
  • All she needs are her fists and legs
  • Super bad ass
  • But she doesn’t like blood or violence
  • Jaehee is still the same as ever
  • Very cunning/wise and level-headed
  • You both mostly just sneak around, hiding out and avoiding confrontation
  • But if she needs to, she can easily take them down to protect you
  • She’s the best at finding food and places to stay out of danger
  • You guys will do just fine

◉ Saeyoung

  • He’s gone insane
  • Cried when he had to leave his favorite baby car behind
  • He couldn’t drive it past the sea of abandoned cars
  • His fav weapon is a flame thrower
  • Yep
  • A fucking flame thrower
  • He wears it on his back like a Ghost Buster of death™ and just melts the zombie scum with ease
  • He can MacGyver a bomb out of random finds wherever you guys are
  • You guys live together in this old house out in the middle of nowhere
  • He’s rigged death traps EVERYWHERE so the chances of anything getting close are slim to none
  • You have a sniper rifle on the top floor and you’ve gotten pretty good at aiming
  • You guys are a pretty awesome duo
  • you got this

◉ V

  • Hate to say this but…
  • You guys are dead. T_T
  • V is too kind hearted and that paired with his sight is just a losing combo
  •  You’d probably make it for a while
  • And he’d end up sacrificing himself for you
    • “I’ll always love you! I’m sorry I couldn’t be stronger…Run!”
  • He’d yell while getting ripped apart
  • Leaving you all on your own
  • You’d survive for a while because it’s easy to be quiet and sneak around when you’re alone
  • But it’s also easier to slip up and eventually you would

◉ Saeran

  • He is thriving more than anyone
  • Legit enjoys this
  • Has a baseball bat with nails in it and he smashes skulls with that sucker and laughs
  • Won’t let you in danger, ever
  • Always makes you stay at a safe distance and gets angry if you try and help him
  • You guys just roam the streets during the day and he takes them out one by one
  • So bad ass that eventually people start to follow him
  • He thinks it’s annoying but he gave up trying to stop them
  • His only focus is keeping you safe and he makes that known
  • If any of them ever get in danger he just keeps walking
  • Survival of the fittest and he’s not about to risk his neck for anyone but you

at this point targeted communities [read: black, muslim spaces] should invest in protecting themselves by introducing self-defense and carrying options for their people. these reported cases of violence against them are being downplayed as to seem as unalarming as possible in order to hold off on prioritizing the victims.

look up your state’s/region’s requirements to carry knives, tasers, mace; call your local police department for further specifications; save up for licenses and classes; rally for donations in your area to fund security measures or organize a group willing to volunteer. it’s clear we can no longer rely on those who refuse to properly acknowledge our deaths and killings to prevent them. so look out for each other. please.


This is an expert from my post “THE MONGOLS AND THE RISE OF GENGHIS KHAN”.

JINN CHINA, 1211–1216 CE

The Jinn dynasty of China was a northern state that rested east of the Yellow River in an area encompassing modern Manchuria, it was founded by boreal forest-dwelling semi-agriculturalists of southeastern Siberia known as the Jurchen (Tungusic people, ancestors of the Manchurians) who overcame the Liao dynasty of the Khitans and supplanted the Northern Song back in 1127 CE. Initially they were shamanists but learned Taoism, revived Confucianism and made Buddhism the state religion. The Jinn were especially skilled in horsemanship but, like the Khitan before them and the Mongols after them, the Jinn grew more Sinicized (though they ardently struggled against this) and attained more of a sedentary lifestyle which weakened the tough warlike nomadic influence they had previously – which resulted in better horsemen. In exchange for this loss the Jinn had walled cities, artillery and the use of gunpowder (they are believed to be the first to use it as a weapon). The Jinn also added over 1,200 miles to the Great Wall as a defense against the Mongols (the Western Xia built 62 miles of wall also).

^ China, 1141 CE. 

As I mentioned earlier, the eastern Jinn dynasty of China was responsible for much of the conflict between the nomads of the north as they pitted them against each other in an attempt to keep them distracted and weakened. If one confederacy gained too much power, the Jinn were right their undermining them by bribing other nomads into rallying against them. A thorn in the side of the Mongols was placed there long ago when the Jinn conspired with the Turkish Tatars against their growing Mongol confederacy under the rule of Khabul (Genghis Khan’s great grandfather) and his successor Ambaghai, the latter of which was taken captive by the Tatars and given to the Jinn who had him nailed to a wooden horse (crucified). 

Ambaghai pled for someone to avenge him and this remained in the minds of the Mongols, when Genghis Khan united the Turco-Mongol hordes he intended to be the man to do just that. These affronts were not solely set in the past as the Jinn continued to periodically invade the steppe where they would capture and enslave Mongol boys and girls. Added to this inherited dislike of the Jinn, he was receiving intel that the Jinn, who had long neglected their northern fortifications, had begun repairing and rebuilding fortresses and walls which indicated that they were preparing to launch an assault on the growing Mongol threat.

Another steppe faction that had an ax to grind with the Jinn were the nomadic Khitans (Mongolian) to their south and east who in the past ruled the lands that the Jinn now resided in, the. The Khitan Liao dynasty (907–1125 CE) of northern China was invaded by the Jurchens (Tungusic peoples) to their northeast in Siberia who eventually conquered and subjugated them. Throughout Jurchen rule the Khitans were known to rebel from time to time and the Great Khan was aware of this. Genghis Khan claimed that he launched this campaign against the Jinn not only to avenge his ancestors but to avenge the Khitans as well as they were both Mongolian

In 1208 CE, while the Great Khan was warring with Xi Xia, four high court officials defected to the Mongols and asked him to invade the Jinn. Fearing that this was a trap, Genghis refused. During Genghis’ campaigns against the Jinn he made constant strides to attract the Khitans to his cause by sending commanders like Jebe (’the arrow’) to the northeastern portion of the Jinn Empire where they captured or overthrew Jinn settlements all the while announcing themselves as liberators and promising to restore the Khitans to power. In 1212 CE the Mongols did just that, the Khitans were made Mongol vassals.

Osprey – ‘Men-at-Arms’ series, issue 295 – Imperial Chinese Armies (2): 590–1260 ADby CJ Peers and Michael Perry (Illustrator). Plate H: A Liao Council of War. H1: Khitan ordo cavalryman – “The famous Wen Ch’i scroll depicts a party of these ‘barbarians’ in the act of looting a Chinese house. It is thought that the scroll is based on an original of the Sung period, and that the models for figures were Khitan warriors. This man has removed his helmet, showing the soft cap worn underneath. He carries a mace as prescribed in the Liao Shih and illustrated in tomb paintings. Also carried were bows, spears and halberds. Jurchen, and even Mongol heavy cavalry, would have looked very similar. This source shows coats in various shades of brown, and trousers as brown or blue. The Jurchen favored bright colours such as red, yellow and white, and made much use of animal skins and furs. They arranged their hair in a pigtail and, like the later Manchus, imposed this style on their Chinese subjects as a sign of submission. Guards at the Kin (Jinn) court are said to have worn red or blue cuirasses, probably of lacquered leather.” H2: General – “This man is wearing a spectacular suit of gilded armour as depicted in the Wen Ch’i scroll, is obviously as high-ranking officer. On the scroll there are unarmoured figures shown in attendance, carrying pieces of his armour. They may therefore represent the ‘orderlies’ or ‘foragers’ who fought as lightly equipped cavalry in the Liao armies.” H3: Mongolian auxiliary – “A 10th-century painting shows this figure in the entourage of a Mongolian prince. He may be typical of the Mongolian tribesmen who fought for the Liao, or even of some of the Khitan themselves. He is shown as armed only with a sword, but would probably have fought in battle as a mounted archer.

If these northern threats weren’t enough the Jinn also suffered from floods, locust infestations, droughts and famine which strained their massive population. As the Jinn just began recovering from their wars against the Chinese Song dynasty to the south yet another great famine hit them in 1210 or 1211 CE. When the Mongols invaded Jinn territory they continuously looted and pillaged the already starved rural population of their herds and crops. This caused many to flood towards nearby cities. All of the above mentioned chaotic situations, and the fact that the Mongols purposely herded the Jinn like cattle towards fortified settlements, led to overpopulation (a million refugees), disease outbreaks, food shortages, and in extreme situations like sieges, cannibalism. In turn ineffective leadership and loss of hope within the Jinn Empire led to mass desertion and rebellions while pirates and bandits took advantage of the disorder.

The Mongols were greatly outnumbered by the Jinn as they marched with an army of about 50,000-65,000 Mongols against the Jinn dynasty which had about 53 million people. From this 53 million, about 4 million were Jurchens ruling over a Han Chinese population of over ten times that size. Unhappy with Jurchen rule, many Chinese and Khitans defected to the Mongols, conspired with them and fed them information.

Muslim merchants were no different, the Chinese were known to hike up the prices of their goods but the Mongols confiscated them if they did. Muslim merchants flocked to the Great Khan, presenting him with gifts in the hopes of having gifts rewarded to them in appreciation. Muslim merchants from China to central and southwest Asia prospered under Genghis Khan, and as the Mongols too were in need of goods they could not readily attain or produce, it was a mutually beneficial relationship. The merchants also had in depth information on the geography of the lands that they traversed, the settlements they entered as well as the strengths and weaknesses of their foes.

Back in 1206 CE the Jinn prince attended the kurultai which granted Temujin the title Genghis Khan; here the prince gave off the impression of a dull, solemn, and ineffective man. In 1208 CE, while the Mongols were leading exploratory raids against the Western Xia, Genghis announced that he would no longer pay tribute to the Jinn. The Jinn prince again visited the Mongols and insisted that the Great Khan was obligated to pay it since the Mongols had conquered their previous subjects, the Kerayits under Genghis’ oath father To’oril Ong Qan. In the eyes of the Jinn, the Mongols inherited the debt of tribute but Genghis Khan dismissed their requests. On the prince’s journey back he learned of his father’s (Emperor Zhangzong, reign: 1189–1208 CE) death, he would now inherit the Mongol threat.

Learning of this succession, the Great Khan sent the Jinn a message, “I thought that the emperor of Peking was appointed by Heaven. How can the Jin choose a man like the Prince of Wei as their ruler? He is an imbecile.” In turn the new emperor sent an ambassador asking Genghis in 1210 CE to kowtow (bow) in servitude but he instead turned south (the direction of the Jinn), spat on the ground and further insulted the Jinn prince: “I thought that the ruler of the Middle Kingdom had to come from Heaven. Can he be a person of such weakness as Prince Wei? Why should I kowtow to him?” He then jumped onto his horse and rode north to his base camp. 

Genghis Khan, now about 49 years old, assembled another kurultai in the spring of 1211 CE where he explained his plans and sought the support of his men. The Mongolian Khitans and the Tungusic Jurchens made the mistake of invading and migrating into northern China and abandoning the north. These actions created power vacuums which brought forth more potentially powerful rivals. Genghis Khan, however, planned on maintaining his hold on the Mongolian steppe while adding the lands of the Jinn to his realm. Before launching invasions against the eastern Jinn dynasty, Genghis Khan appointed trusted Mongols to hold the steppe and tasked them with protecting the Mongol army’s rear flank.

^ Mongol (2007). My snapshot.

The Jinn were overconfident and looked down on the Mongol threat, mockingly the Jinn emperor said: “Our empire is like the sea; yours is but a handful of sand, how can we fear you?” To invade Jinn territory he first needed to cross the great Gobi Desert. Since it held very few places to rest and replenish, the Mongols chose the early season of spring so the freshly melted snows could feed their men and horses therefore aiding their passage. 

Upon crossing the desert into Jinn territory Mongols split into two divisions, one was under three of Genghis’ sons which marched westward as to later launch a flank assault against the Jinn. The second division (the main force) which was led by the Great Khan led the main offensive, defeating the Jinn in open combat time and time again. So much so that the most of the Jinn began taking on a defensive strategy, hiding behind their walled and fortified cities which were guarded by massive garrisons and artillery. Despite the Mongol armies being 230 miles apart, these distant forces remained in close contact with one another by means of a rapid and effective system of ‘arrow messengers’ who rode on horseback. If necessary these two Mongol forces could link back together in less than two days’ time. 

Genghis Khan’s main force made it before the capital city of Zhongdu (Peking, Beijing) but was unable to take the city. As winter approached the Mongol hordes returned to the northern border to rest and recuperate. Despite making major strides against the Jinn, the greater majority of settlements and forts were taken back by the Jinn while being rapidly repopulated by China’s massive population. This would happen repeatedly after every withdrawal, year after year, making every invasion the Mongols made redundant as all they achieved would swiftly return to the Jinn by the time their next invasion was launched.

^ Mongol (2007). My snapshot.

This pressured Genghis Khan into employing large scale massacres to reduce repopulation and having his three sons (Jochi, Chagatai and Ogodei), who were nestled on the western flank of the Jinn domain, launch invasions of their own where they kept the pressure on the Jinn while their father rested his forces. Another blow was struck when Yelu Ahai, a Khitan general under Genghis Khan, led a massively successful raid which resulted in the capture of tens of thousands of horses from the Jinn, including the emperor’s prized stud. This one operation alone heavily crippled the Jinn’s cavalry capabilities while arming the Mongols with horses more adept to the conditions of China than their own. Added to this operation, as I mentioned above, Jebe (‘the arrow’) was sent toward the northeastern reaches of Jinn territory (Manchuria) to rally the subjugated Khitans. Jebe led long raids which weakened the Jinn there, encouraging the Khitans into rebelling and declaring independence, therefore robing the Jinn of their main cavalry support.

Fall of Zhongdu, the Jinn capital:

After the eastern Jinn  had previously left the Western Xia to fend for themselves against the Mongols, the Xia were angered and sought revenge by launching invasions of their own into Jinn territory. Under all of these harassments and setbacks, Jinn manpower was diminished to such an extent that in their desperation they pardoned criminals on the condition that they must join the Jinn army. The Jinn also initiated martial law within the capital and armed all male citizens. The Jinn capital city of Zhongdu (Peking, Beijing) had a massive garrison, had a fortified perimeter of thirty miles, three moats, four exterior fortresses (with granaries which connected to the capital via underground tunnels), forty foot high walls armed with nine hundred battle towers, giant siege bows (which fired 9 ft. long arrows a distance of about 1,100 yards (3,300 ft.), traction trebuchets (could throw 55 lb. boulders 218-328 yards (654-984 ft.)), firelances, muzzleloaders and cannons. The siege bows could also launch giant fire arrows while the traction trebuchets could propel large fireballs and ‘Greek Fire’-like naphtha Molotov cocktails.

After Jinn commander Zhi-zhong lost a battle to the Mongols he was forgiven by the emperor. This would prove to be a fatal mistake for the Jinn emperor as Zhi-zhong had him assassinated and placed a puppet on the throne which he could easily manipulate. When the Mongols besieged the Jinn capital of Zhongdu, the usurper (Zhi-zhong) defeated them in two battles despite being sick (the first battle he directed the battle while lying on a bed placed in a cart). After losing a third battle his sickness and fear that the end was near pushed him to send another commander forward to repel the Mongols, threatening him with death if he failed. This deputy lost the battle so in fear he rode back to the city with a small number of troops and beheaded Zhi-zhong before the news reached him. Still the Jinn capital held out.

Tired of Zhongdu’s resistance, Genghis sent his forces to overrun vast territories from Manchuria to the lower Yellow River. Forts, settlements, crops, cotton fields and vineyards were ravaged: “Everywhere north of the Yellow River there could be seen dust and smoke, and the sound of drums rose to heaven. [157]” Human captives were one of the most important things taken by the Mongols. The Mongols were known to use captives in dangerous situations where they’d prefer not to risk their own people. The Mongols placed them as their front ranks to act as meat-shields; the settlements they were besieging would either attack and kill their own brethren or submit to the Mongols.

^ Mongol (2007). My snapshot.

There are stories of besieged inhabitants seeing family members or friends among the Mongol captives. Many settlements and forts fell without resistance. The captives were also made to dig tunnels, move siege engines or towers toward city walls, feed and tend to herds and the Mongols, collect stone and wood for use as artillery ammunition, and build bridges over bodies of water. They also filled in moats and, if the besieged killed them, their bodies would only aid in this endeavor. The number of captives also followed the decimal system; each Mongol warrior had to have ten captives. 

The worst policy is to attack cities. Attack cities only when there is no alternative, because to prepare big shields and wagons and make ready the necessary arms and equipment require at least three months, and to pile up earthen ramps against the walls requires an additional three months. The general, unable to control his impatience, will order his troops to swarm up the wall like ants, with the result that one third of them will be killed without taking the city. Such is the calamity of attacking cities.” – Art of War by Sun Tzu.

Knowing that the Jinn had taken a defensive strategy of remaining behind their walls, they would not interfere with the Mongol raids and if the Jinn did then their armies would be destroyed. After a yearlong siege in which both sides suffered from disease outbreaks and hunger, the Jinn emperor offered to be a Mongol vassal, to give his daughter (princess) in marriage to Genghis Khan, three thousand camels loaded with loot, three thousand horses, a hundred thousand gold bars, “30,000 cartloads of documents and royal possessions”, the freeing of political prisoners (including over 500 young men, 500 young women and Mongol-allied Khitans) and overwhelmingly vast amounts of silk.

If we now set our troops in order and send them out to fight, should they again be crushed by the Mongols, they will no doubt scatter and return to their various cities. And, if we rally them against their will, they will turn against us and will no longer be our friends. If you, the Altan Qan, grant permission, let us for the present submit and come to terms with the ruler of the Mongols. If the Mongols agree to withdraw, after their withdrawal we shall there and then take up another different counsel. It is said that the men and geldings of the Mongols find our country unsuitable and fall victim to epidemics. Let us give a princess to their ruler, and to the men in his army let us send out gold, silver, satin and goods in abundance. Who knows whether they will or will not agree to our proposal?’” – The Secret History of the Mongols, 248.

The Jinn emperor took this peaceful break as an opportunity to flee to the easily defendable southern capital of Kaifeng. Genghis Khan took this action as a betrayal and a sign that the treaty was broken so the Mongols again besieged the central capital of Zhongdu. The city faced mass desertions and was starved to the point of the inhabitants resorting to cannibalism. The general of Khitan origin, Shimo Mingan, deserted the city and brought many with him – including some of the greatest minds skilled in the creation of siege engines. The Jinn within Zhongdu assaulted the Mongols with some of the earliest mentions of incendiary and gunpowder weaponry which was learned from the Southern Song dynasty of China whom they had long warred with.

The defense was so desperate that when the Jinn ran out of shot they began using ammunition made of silver and gold. The defenders knew that their fall was inevitable so they opened up their gates to the Mongols. Out of frustration over the great resistance put up and at the Mongol lives lost during this year long siege, the Mongols began sacking the city for the length of a month. The city was ravaged and the populace was massacred. Rape was also prevalent; it is said that sixty thousand virgins killed themselves by jumping off the walls in order to save themselves from being raped. One of the Great Khan’s ministers, Chinqai, climbed a great tower and when he reached the top he fired off arrows in the direction of the four cardinal points (N, E, W, S). Genghis Khan was amused by this act so he granted him all of the properties within the area of the four arrows.

^ Mongol (2007).

There are many instances of writers mentioning seeing white hills which, upon closer examination, were actually piles of human bones. Many areas are also said to have been coated in the fat of decomposing corpses but both of these may be exaggerations. The severity of the slaughter and rapaciousness is blamed on the fact that the capital resisted for so long, settlements known to have resisted or disrespected the Great Khan shared similar fates of massacres, rape and enslavement. Throughout the sieges on Zhongdu (Peking, modern Beijing) the Mongols lost many to starvation, conflict and disease (possibly cholera, dysentery, equine influenza and/or bluetongue) so all of the pent up frustration from these losses was taken out on the defenders. The fall of Zhongdu was a significant symbol of loss to the Jinn; much of their domains north of the Yellow River lost hope and submitted to the Mongols.

Now the Mongols held dominion over much of northern China and had no interest in going westward into Central Asia or the Middle East. They were, however, drawn there by fate it seems. This same fate would lead them into the religiously unstable khanate of Kara Khitay (Turco-Mongols), the militant Khwarezmian Empire (Turco-Persians) of Greater Persia and the very borders of Europe. 

  • To read up on the early history of the Mongols, check out my post ‘THE MONGOLS AND THE RISE OF GENGHIS KHAN’. In this post I speak about the Mongolian transition from seemingly insignificant tribal confederacies into an empire that was four times the size of Alexander’s and twice the size of the Roman’s. I cover their military tactics, some of their battle formations, armaments, their rapid adaptation of foreign technologies, and their secretive order of bodyguards known as the Keshik. During Genghis Khan’s early reign the Mongols warred against themselves and their fellow steppe neighbors as well as Northern China’s Western Xia dynasty (Tanguts: Tibeto-Burmese) and eastern Jinn dynasty (Tungusic Jurchens who were Sinicized).
  • Head over to my post, “GENGHIS KHAN, THE STALLION WHO MOUNTS THE WORLD”, to read more about how Genghis Khan was pressured into campaigning out of China toward Central Asia (Kara Khitai Khanate), to Greater Iran (Khwarezmian Empire), to the frontier of Eastern Europe (Medieval Russia and Ukraine) and back to China. I also cover Mongol shamanism and their tolerance of foreign religions, the famed ‘Yam’ pony express, their tactical use of captives and their massive deportation policy.

anonymous asked:

What about an S/O who is all cutesy and pastel on the inside, but badass on the inside? Like, they wear all the pink and purple and pastel and flower crowns, but are literally always ready to kick ass, carrying mace in the pocket of their oversized sweaters and shit. Alternatively, the opposite, someone who looks punk and badass and stuff, but is actually a smol, scared bby on the inside and must be protected at all costs.

Dude I’ve stared at this ask for like stars know how long. I’ve rewritten it 4 times but I can’t fuckin do it without being biased to myself because this is literally my 2 states of being????? I tried man. Can’t do it without projecting.

Yo imagine baes! Anyone wanna pick this up for me?
You Are Not Equal. I’m Sorry.
You are not equal. Your daughters are not equal. You are still systemically oppressed.
By Sleep.Eat.Write

The United States ranks at 45 for women’s equality. Behind Rwanda, Cuba, Philippines, Jamaica.

You are not equal. Even if you feel like you are. You still make less than a man for doing the same work. You make less as a CEO, as an athlete, as an actress, as a doctor. You make less in government, in the tech industry, in healthcare.

You still don’t have full rights over your own body. Men are still debating over your uterus. Over your prenatal care. Over your choices.

You still have to pay taxes for your basic sanitary needs.

You still have to carry mace when walking alone at night. You still have to prove to the court why you were drunk on the night you were raped. You still have to justify your behavior when a man forces himself on you.

You still don’t have paid (or even unpaid) maternity leave. You still have to go back to work while your body is broken. While you silently suffer from postpartum depression.

You still have to fight to breastfeed in public. You still have to prove to other women it’s your right to do so. You still offend others with your breasts.

You are still objectified. You are still catcalled. You are still sexualized. You are still told you’re too skinny or you’re too fat. You’re still told you’re too old or too young. You’re applauded when you “age gracefully.” You’re still told men age “better.” You’re still told to dress like a lady. You are still judged on your outfit instead of what’s in your head. What brand bag you have still matters more than your college degree.

You are still being abused by your husband, by your boyfriend. You’re still being murdered by your partners. Being beaten by your soulmate.

You are still worse off if you are a woman of color, a gay woman, a transgender woman. You are still harassed, belittled, dehumanized.

Our equality is an illusion. A feel-good sleight of hand. A trick of the mind. I’m sorry to tell you, but you are not equal. And neither are your daughters.

Please fire me. I was almost fired recently when my boss found out I carried a two inch pocket knife on me at work. Then just yesterday she was gloating and showing off the can of mace she carries with her. 

anonymous asked:

I need some advice. I used to carry mace around with me because I had a stalker following me, but it didn't end well (I am clumsy and it went off accidentally, kind of long story). I later bought a taser but I found it too scary for me. Well, stalker is back, and I don't know what to carry to defend myself with. Taser is too scary, mace backfired on me, gun is out of the question. I have knives but I'm afraid I won't be fast enough with one. What should I do? I'm honestly terrified.

I want to be able to help you with this but I am definitely the wrong person, or at least I think so. The only time I have ever carried a weapon of any kind was when I was walking to and from my gym at 4am and had a bad dream that scared me (long story, but I always listen to my dreams). At that point I didn’t think mace was something I could function with and I am with you on the gun thing. I carried a cane with me because I think I can function with a big stick better and that is not something everyone can just carry around. I hate that you are going through that and hope that maybe one of my followers will be able to help you better than I can. My thoughts are with you! Hoping the stalker situation is taken care of quickly!!