carrot salad

Falafel bowls 😌 baked falafel, roasted cauliflower, shredded carrot, raw corn, cucumber, roasted red pepper hummus (my addiction), and a tahini dressing all over spinach and arugula. #veganalways #plantstrong

unpopular opinion……………………………salads are hekcening Great

Like everyone in the kitchen, I sometimes pretend I’m doing a cooking show, only I assume this hypothetical show just features, like, all the fuck-ups I regularly have in the kitchen. Highlights from tonight’s episode:

  • “And now we begin the traditional frantic washing of the dishes and utensils I’ll need for this particular meal.”
  • “I’m just gonna break apart these canned tomatoes by hand and– OH GOD I FORGOT ABOUT THAT SCRAPE ON MY KNUCKLE IT BURNS”
  • “This is the first place I’ve lived with a garbage disposal. I don’t trust it, so nobody laugh while I nervously prod these carrot peels with a scrub-brush into the Mysterious Sink-Void That Devours.”
  • “If I eat all this tangelo now will the salad still taste okay?”
  • “If I eat all these olives now will the salad still taste okay?”
  • “If I eat all these carrots now will the salad still taste okay?”
  • “These are the only three ingredients in the salad so I probably shouldn’t eat them all now.”
  • “It is especially important that you cackle triumphantly any time you smash a clove of garlic with the side of your knife.”
  • “Definitely forgot to start the water boiling. New challenge: how long can you hold the heavy pot in your off-hand while it fills with water? Now there’s water on the floor, but you know the answer. Tumblr break while that boils.”
  • “Okay, now we can start the pasta and– I definitely forgot to pre-heat the oven. Turn off the water. Tumblr break while the oven heats up. Turn on the water.”
  • “The reason this oil isn’t heating up may have something to do with the fact that I’ve turned the wrong burner on, and the burner I’ve selected here is the burnt-on-stuff burner I haven’t gotten around to cleaning yet, so now the fire alarm’s going off, is what’s happening here.”
  • “If your burner’s sorta lopsided like this one, you’ll want to sort of swish everything around in the pan to make sure it’s evenly coated. That’s a real pro tip right there.”
  • “…If I eat all this fresh mozzarella now will the pasta still taste okay?”
  • “And if you follow all those steps exactly, especially the fuck-ups, it’ll inexplicably look and taste just fine.”

March 17 2017

Grilled pork, boiled egg, boiled carrot & broccoli, turnip salad, rapeseed green salad, grilled salmon, pickles, seaweed topped on rice.