“Remember the white dress I wore all through that film? George came up to me the first day of filming, took one look at the dress and said: “You can’t wear a bra under that dress.” “Ok, I’ll bite,” I said. “Why?” And he said: “Because… there’s no underwear in space.” He said it with such conviction. Like he had been to space and looked around and he didn’t see any bras or panties anywhere. He explained. “You go into space and you become weightless. Then your body expands but your bra doesn’t, so you get strangled by your own underwear.” I think that this would make for a fantastic obituary. I tell my younger friends that no matter how I go, I want it reported that I drowned in moonlight, strangled by my own bra.”
carrie fisher created space in pop culture for women to be not just recovered, but engaged, actively, in dealing with mental illness, including relapsing and making mistakes. the space, the freedom, to be open about not just getting better along a proscribed recovery narrative, but about getting better after you already got better and then got worse again. for that more than anything else, i’ll miss her. she was hilarious and brilliant all the time, but as an essayist she was unmatched and as a cultural voice on mental illness she was invaluable.
I think the best thing to do when I was in pain is just write, after all isn’t that what you taught us all to do, with your books?
I loved watching Star Wars in high school. I remember how awesome I thought Leia was. It was a great escape. I didn’t know that years latter that you would become so much more than someone in my screen.
When I was 12 years old, I was diagnoised with General Anxiety Disorder. I remember feeling like a freak. I was embarrassed to tell people I was medicated. It wasn’t until I turned 25 and got into Star Wars and I learned about you and what you went through….suddenly gained the strength to be comfortable with myself.
I saw how you gained a thicker skin from all that you suffered. I saw that you never apologized for who you were. I saw you can laugh at yourself when you made mistakes. And so I started to do the same. I am at a state where I am proud to say hey, I have an anxiety disorder, I stim, I am not like others. I learned to cope in the same ways you coped, by writing my Legendary Heroine Verse. I am a better person because of you.
You turned my life around. You made me stronger. You made me write my heart out. You gave me the courage to be…me. I told you this when I met you this October and I hoped to do so again, again and again. But I would unfortunately never get that chance. You were taken from us way too soon.
I want to mourn. I want to cry. I shouldn’t I should remind myself I had the chance to meet you when so many others didn’t. But theres a part of me inside that knows….you wouldn’t want this. You would want us to watch Star Wars, watch your interviews and laugh at memories. You would want us to continue to dress up as Princess Leia. You would want us to continue to write Stories of Princess Leia and give her a happy ending.
So that is what Ill do, once I finish my shock, once I realize I am going to have to live in a world without you it’s what I am going to have to do. I’ll continue to be proud of who I am and not be scared and not be ashamed. I will continue to watch your movies and laugh. I will write the Legendary Heroine Verse in your memory as if I will live in a wold where I WILL get to see you fight off Snoke with a lightsaber. I will name my future daughter after you, so she will always know the person who made her mother a better person.
When I met you three months ago, a moment I will cherish for a long time when I told you how much you meant to me and told you how you made me comfortable in my skin. But you turned it around and said its the people who get into stressful situations, yet keep on going that are the real heroes. And you know what I will keep that with me every day for the rest of my life until I take my last breath. But you will forever be my hero. Even though you are not here, you are still going to be.
I will end this letter with something I said when Cory Monteith died 3 years ago. Though there will be no more moments, no more interviews, no more chances to say hello, it leaves me comfort to know you are always going to be here. You will live on every time I watch Star Wars and see you shoot Storm Troopers, take down Slugs and have the luxury of smashing faces with Han Solo. You will live on everytime I decide to watch interviews of you to make your smile. You will live on through fan fiction, whether it be my own like the LHV, or others. You will live on through your novels. You will always be here Carrie, and you will always know how much I care and I love you for everything.
Thank you for everything, thank you for inspiring me and countless others, thank you for being you.
May the force be with you my hero, my mentor and above all my inspiration.
when you’re galloping along at a great speed it is better than any drug that you could ever take. God if you will, is saving you parking spots, songs are being played on the radio for you, you’re just so enthusiastic about everyone and everyone must be enthusiastic about you
Carrie Fisher on mania ( source: the secret life of a manic depressive )