END OF ALL DAYS. Carnivores Tour - Chicago. 8/29/14.
Pretty sure you could hear a pin drop as all 20,000 of us waited with bated breath for the grab & tug. Clutching our pearls as well as other things. Like, that move has become a legitimate component to the history of this song.
The evolution of EOAD as it’s been toured & tested, is very interesting and complex. It didn’t start on tour with the rolling hips, the flexing, the dick grab, the dramatic lighting leaving Leto looking ghostlike, sullen, almost empty. More recently, he’s even removed the aviators which he usually wore within the song. Maybe, as he’s grown into the roll and rhythm of the moment, he’s realized he no longer needs the shades.
It’s become idolized as a highly-sexualized song, but the lyrics are devastating and incredibly dark and not-sexy, really. They’re full of apocalyptic longing and the words are sung like a man who’s been so broken down by a bad love and that shit that comes cycloning along with it - where you are literally so-dickmatized by one of the most terrible persons you know and you cannot stand how they make you feel - yet you crawl back for more because when it’s there it feels so good. So absolutely fulfilling. Like nothing else you know. You worry you’ll never know that feeling again. It’s cyclical. It’s addiction.
Overall, when he is up there, under the light, it seems like he completely transforms. It’s sort of a role he inhabits. His stature changes - he seems less lithe and yoga-toned - he seems tougher, grittier. It’s probably more the lighting too than anything else, but his face changes in a way. He looks angry, older, rougher. Masculine. Brando-esq. However, just moments after the song ends and he jumps down into an Acoustic set, he is glowing, Bambi-like. Adorable. Like he’s rebuilt himself.
The LETODICK grasp has become a climax in many ways - to the verse, to the song, to the show - one we’ve photographed, scrutinized, magnified, gifed, passed around with panting breaths.
His moves during this song are fascinating. They’re not like any other moves in any other songs of the night. In fact, they, for the most part are there to entice, but honestly the act of grabbing your enormous dick and tugging it roughly in front of crowds 10,000-20,000 in size, isn’t really all done for show. Or bragging. Despite it making a huuuge portion of the crowd wet (I mean, we’re goddamn human, alright), ultimately it comes down to being, at it’s core, a vulgar move.
I think the roughness in which it’s done is not to intended to be like, “oh yea, ladies & gentlemen, you like what you see?” I mean….we do. OBVS. But it feels like it’s more of a statement to the person (or persons) who fucked his heart over - a sort of - “you wanted me for this, and maybe that’s all you wanted me for. Well I still have this and you don’t have me. Fuck off.”
The man is a first class tease and he knows exactly what he’s doing. However, the song, after the pull, almost always rolls down into a softer, sultrier, heartwrenching moment - Leto, seeming completely lost in the moment allows his hands to travel freely across his body, trailing his structure from collarbone to hips, sometimes back to the dick but moreso in a protective cupping fashion (yea, I’ve been watching this shit closely), and more often than not caressing the softest part of his person - his belly.
Yes, he’s trimmed within an inch of his life and most certainly has like at most 3% body fat (all of which is Mast Brothers Chocolate), if that…but most animals we come to realize, their most sensitive, most detrimental, most-at-risk part of their bodies, is their belly. It’s the part we’re taught to brace the most upon impact, the part we look to protect when we feel afraid (curling into the fetal position).
It is an incredibly sensual part of our person - and to watch him delicately caress his tumtum following the roughness we watched him put himself thru earlier, it’s stunning. I mean… just thinking about it gives me the goddamn chills. His presence changes again and he is almost femme, reeling in his sensuality in a way that makes him immediately more vulnerable.
It’s a very I kinda wanna write a thesis paper on it moment within the concerts. If I was back in school. And the class was “LETODICK, DRAMA & STUNTQUEENING: beards, big hands, and blue eyes in the time of Carnivores” or, “Necessary Roughness: How I learned to quit worrying and love the tug”.