your hands are shaking, which is stupid. it’s just words, on paper, that you’ll just say out loud later, but. your hands are shaking, because this all feels so fucking familiar, except: you never got to say the other words you wrote. you whispered them, into your pillow or your palms or the dead petals on your floor, for months afterward. but you never got to say them. you meant them—god, you meant them.
but now you’re writing beautiful, sappy, dumb words for a different girl. and like the last girl, this girl deserves the whole fucking world, and nothing you say can capture how fucking much this tiny idiot waif of a human means to you. maybe that’s why your hands are shaking: the words won’t come out fast enough, and you’re worried that, like last time, you won’t have enough time.
you tell your sad, scattered head to shut up. the pen wobbles in your fingers so you take another drink and sigh.
a smile pulls at your mouth and you lean back, into the tiny warm chest behind you. ‘writing this stupid fucking maid of honour speech,’ and she swats you for swearing. ‘ow, hollis.’
‘whatever, von karnstein. how’s it coming?’
she kisses your hair and wraps her arms around your neck, pushing her nose into your cheek. ‘i’m sure it’s great, you disgusting sap. just be straightforward, tell her how much she means to you. you know how lexa is with, like, subtlety.’
you snort, because lexa is a disaster when it comes to the concept of emoting. ‘i know it should be easy, because it’s lexa, but, like—i don’t know. it’s just—the last time—i don’t—fuck.’ you drop your head onto the notebook heavily, and laura sighs into your neck.
‘it’s not like last time, baby,’ she tells you quietly. you know this, but you can’t stop picturing the dead flowers in your hallway.
It worked! They did it, THEY ACTUALLY DID IT! They CANONIZED a Lesbian character, you could argue that it’s canonizing BOTH of them. THIS ACTUALLY JUST HAPPEN! January 29th you guys, A DAY IN HISTORY!!
Write a sick day AU where one of them is sick and the other is waiting on them hand and foot?
Carmilla groaned into the couch cushion as her stomach churned.
“I am never trusting you to get blood again,” she muttered, tugging the blanket up higher around her shoulders.
Laura hid her laugh from across the room.
“It’s not funny,” Carmilla insisted, rolling over to look at her from across the room. “Why won’t you come cuddle me?”
Snorting, Laura glanced over her shoulder. “Yeah. Right. Like I’m risking sickness the week before finals. In your dreams, Carm.”
“Come on, Laura, I can’t even get regular sick. Just food poisoning sick.”
“You’ll understand why I don’t just take your word for it,” she laughed, turning back to her computer to sort through her class notes.
Sighing, Carmilla shoved the blanket off her body. “Fine. But you made me do this.”
“Wh-” Laura barely had time to spin around before Carmilla had thrown herself into her unsuspecting lap, the superhuman speed behind it knocking them both to the ground in a heap.
“Carm,” Laura snapped, squirming to try and free herself from the hold.
“Shhh. It’s too late, you’re infected. Come to bed now.”
She helped Laura to her feet, tugging at her hands even as Laura batted them away. “Will you just-give me a minute.”
Carmilla frowned, but stopped, looking defeated.
Sighing, Laura pressed her hand to her forehead. She couldn’t disappoint that face. “Relax. I’m just getting my laptop, okay?” She gestured to it up on her desk. “God, you’re kind of insufferable when you’re sick.”
Carmilla laughed scratchily. “You would be too if you hadn’t been sick in two hundred years.”
Tucking the laptop under her arm, Laura tucked her girlfriend under the other, Carmilla’s head automatically falling to her shoulder. “When you put it that way…”
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You're right, we should all talk more about how smitten Laura is. Like every time she smiles just before Carmilla kisses her, or the way she plays with carms hair, the cheek kiss from th xmas episode, the way she looks at her in episode s2 episode 12
Long post ahead.
Ok let me recall the times Laura was smitten af in season 2 (NOT COUNTING TRANSMEDIA):
Ep 1: Laura’s face after kissing Carmilla + the amount of times she looked like she was going to jump Carmilla. Like if Perry hadn’t come in, she might’ve just said “fuck pg-13″ and went straight to some restricted/explicit shit. She really wanted that “happy ending.”
Ep 2: Laura holding on to Carmilla, because she’s scared af.
Ep 3: “Yeah but you were already dead.” * playful heart eyes*
Ep 4: Laura putting her arms around Carmilla and holding her hand to comfort her.
Ep 5: Laura wanting to know what’s upsetting Carmilla. Congrats on the sex. Laura waking up all giddy from last night’s events.
Ep 8: Laura putting her hand on Carmilla’s knees as the ensemble fights.
Ep 9: Laura keeping her hands in Carmilla’s grasp, having some mild aftershocks after Mattie screamed.
Ep 11: Carmilla putting her arms around Laura and Laura leaning into her touch as Kirsch retells his story in fear.
Ep 12: Laura brushing Carmilla’s hair and asking if she was ok. Laura always snuggling up to Carmilla’s side and looking at peace, even if for just a moment. Her hand on Carmilla’s as they’re cuddling. I also liked how at the beginning, they’re able to have a comfortable silence and Laura missing Carmilla’s presence and was like “yo let’s cuddle.” That’s cute, Laura just wants to cuddle. Also the belly rub was nice.
Ep 13: Laura wanting to know more about Carmilla, even though Vordie isn’t the best source. Laura just wanting her “heroic kick ass girlfriend.” Though, I’m not entirely too happy with that particular scene.
Ep 14: Laura holding onto Carmilla for safety when the crows attacked.
Ep 15: Laura being an absolute wreck after the end of her relationship. Laura relieved that Carmilla was back, until Carmilla started speaking.
Ep 16: Laura’s heightened attention to Carmilla’s “relationship with her clothes, or lack thereof.” Laura’s reaction to Carmilla asking “Do you think this will make sure you never have another thought you don’t want to have about one of us.
Ep 18: Due to old habits, Laura still refers to Carmilla as “Carm” post break up.
Ep 19: Laura trying to prevent the detainment of vampires by explaining Carmilla wasn’t as bad as they thought she was. Laura still holding on to Carmilla’s clothes while worrying about Carmilla’s well-being. Pretty much still pining after the break up.
Ep 20: Laura moving the hair away from Carmilla’s face and rocking her gently while she’s in pain, regardless of Carmilla’s snark towards her. Laura’s sigh of relief after the arrow was dislodged from Carmilla’s chest.
Ep 21: Laura hiding the vampires to protect them and refusing to turn Carmilla in because she saved them before. Laura subtly begging the vampires to stay to stay.
Ep 22: “Like someone cute a hole in me.”
Ep 23: “And awkward non-flirting with this girl they used to date and telll enormous secrets to.” According to this, Carmilla is obviously the person Laura trusts the most, what ever those secrets may be, we’ll never know.
Ep 26: Laura grabs Carmilla’s arm and tries to stop Mattie from drinking the Angler Fish’s blood, which might be their first physical contact in 6 episodes.
Ep 27: Domestic Hollstein. Laura having a friendly competition of Senet with Carmilla, looking as if they weren’t broken up. It’s been awhile since we’ve seen playful Laura (and some playful bantering), and Carmilla’s the person who gets her to be calm. “You think I hid you here after everything because I don’t care? Because the thought of something happening to you doesn’t make me feel like I can’t breath? And I don’t know how I’m supposed to feel around you or what I’m supposed to do because -” “You kiss me and it cracks me open.” “Maybe after everything settles down, we can talk.”
Ep 30: Laura smiling at playful Carmilla and Mattie. Laura looking and feeling guilty after the death of Mattie and upset at not being able to comfort Carmilla due to the fact she’s partly to blame for Mattie’s death.
Ep 31: Laura upset at the fact Carmilla may not ever forgive her and feeling guilty over betraying her. Laura waking up to the door opening and saying “Carm?” hoping it was her. Laura’s longing face after seeing Carmilla terrorizing in her panther form.
Ep 32: Confirmed still “pining” over Carmilla. Laura’s forlorn face during the SNN broadcast after mentioning Vordie’s goons are still after Carmilla.
Ep 33: Laura’s slight panic at Vordie mentioning he will shoot Carmilla himself.
Ep 34: Laura is aware of her mistakes and pleas for Carmilla to help them. “I never meant to sacrifice Mattie, or you.” “And it doesn’t matter that it breaks my heart that you hate me. It doesn’t matter that you’re going to hate me for as long as the Earth is round because right now, we can do something. We can stop the damage. Help us.” Laura still believes in Carmilla, which means she has great trust in her. After seeing Carmilla, Laura speechless and rambles, probably shocked that she would even give her the time of day and misses her as well. “That maybe in this story you are my hero AND I’m you’re hero.” Laura wants to save Carmilla, as well as Silas and the student body.
Ep 35: Laura believing Carmilla would help them, but disappointed when she doesn’t.
Ep 36: Laura saves Carmilla, killing Vordie and pretty much disregards everything she’s done to try and save Silas. It also went against her morals. She fought so hard trying to fix Silas and lost so much trying to save it. But she didn’t care, she just wanted to #SaveCarmilla. Laura falls into Carmilla’s arms, once again proving that Carmilla is the one that’s able to comfort her through hard times, even with the circumstance they’re in. Laura remains sitting close to Carmilla, even after the short moment.
In the xmas bundle, the only person she wants to talk to is Carmilla. so that means Laura and Carmilla talk to each other the most. Like for Carmilla, she doesn’t “tolerate” Laura like with everyone else, she very much enjoys her company.
Laura always initiates the second kiss, usually pulling her in and her hand bunching Carmilla’s hair.
Laura seeing the good in Carmilla despite her past.
Laura and Carmilla sharing Laura’s tardis mug.
Shoutout to Ep 1, 5, 12, 27 for Hollstein kisses.
I rewatched all of season 2 for this. I probably missed some (since I only skimmed) and didn’t go in to details as much as I would’ve liked to. A lot of these are subtle, but noticeable. And I guess this just proves that there’s many ways to show someone that you love them.
They seem to get each other and know when they’re upset, and seem to talk to each other A LOT when they were together even if it isn’t shown (it’s been mentioned a couple times), but they just have shitty communication.
I could do an s1, christmas ep, and transmedia version but shit that takes a long time and that’s for just Laura alone I’ll die if I do a Carmilla version.
the bittersweet between my teeth (trying to find the in betweens)
[fbi au: lexa gets hit in the head & can’t remember some stuff for a teeny bit; elle & carm take care of her. ur welcome @siimulacra also thank lol.]
the bittersweet between my teeth (trying to find the in betweens)
we’re only young and naive still / we require certain skills / the mood it changes like the wind / hard to control when it begins
—the naked & famous, ‘young blood’
‘what is that?’ lexa whispers, pushing up the sleeve of her sweater with an expression a mix of panic and awe.
‘your tattoos,’ carmilla deadpans, and you don’t understand why she’s not getting more enjoyment out of this whole experience; you think, maybe, that she’s secretly really scared and doesn’t want to admit it, because that’s something she does all the time.
‘oh god,’ lexa says, tracing the flowers that spread across her skin. ‘do they go all the way up my arm?’
‘yep,’ carmilla says, sitting back in the cab and pinching the bridge of her nose between her thumb and forefinger.
she’s being of no help right now, so you tap lexa’s knee and she turns toward you. there’s a nasty bruise that kind of runs diagonally across from her face—apparently she’d smacked into some scaffolding she hadn’t noticed as she was running after an unsub, and she’s going to be fine; the doctors assure you it’s just temporary amnesia, so really, it’s mostly funny. lexa thinks she’s about a year and a half back, just before she accepted her place at quantico.