MY FIRST IMAGINE! Y/N GETS JEALOUS THAT CARL GOES OUTSIDE THE GATES WITH ENID. Y/N GIVES HIM THE OPTION OF BEING WITH HER OR ENID.
Carl and I were supposed to spend the day together. It really meant a lot for me because Carl and I never really have alone time. And if we did it was either taking care of Judith or sleeping. I went to go look for Carl because he was late. I thought maybe someone took to long to switch shifts with Carl at the watch tower and that’s why he’s late. As I was going to see if he was at the tower I saw him and Enid climb over the gate. He helped her down and it made me really jealous. I know Carl wouldn’t ever cheat on me, but it still hurt seeing him with her. I looked at Carl and couldn’t help but get tears in my eyes. The way he looked at Enid made my heart hurt. Carl hasn’t looked at me like that since the prison (yes we’ve been together for that long). Carl looks up and sees me standing there in the middle of the road. I simply turn around and walk towards my house which I share with the Grimes and Michonne. Before I can get to the door Carl stops me. “Hey Y/N, what’s wrong?”
“What’s wrong?!” I yelled. “You really want to know what’s wrong?! We had the whole day planned to spend time together and I see you spent most of the day with Enid. We had plans Carl! You already know I don’t like her.” I was furious. He just stares at me.
“Y/N, let me explain. I saw Enid climb over the gate and just wanted to make sure she was safe. I don’t know why you’re overreacting. Look, I’m sor-”
“You really think I give a shit?! Carl I saw the way you looked at her.” I was upset and angry. I felt tears building up in my eyes.
“What do you mean the way I look at her?”
“Carl, I’m not stupid. I know you have feelings for Enid. I mean, why wouldn’t you? She’s pretty, and you both love comics and I’m just…me” my voice trailed off. Carl just stood there. I knew he had developed some feeling for Enid.
“Y/N, let me explain. I-” That’s when Enid came in. “What the fuck do you want?” I spat.
“I just came here to see if everything was okay?” She said with a fake smile. She knew damn well everything was NOT okay. Carl was about to say something until Enid walked away. Carl’s eyes followed her as if he was under her spell.
“Um, hello Carl?! We are NOT done talking”
“I’m sorry Y/N. I-I don’t know what to think. I know I love you. But-” he paused. He couldn’t finished his sentence.
“You have a choice. It’s either her or me.”
He just stood there with his head down.
“Alright.” Was all I said. My anger overtook my sadness and I rushed past Carl to go find Enid. I was LIVID! I wanted so badly to kick her ass. I caught up to her spun her around. I was about to punch her but then I stopped. I lowered my fist and looked at her dead in the eyes.
“If you want Carl that bad, he’s yours. I’m not going to fight over someone if I’m going to be his second choice. You win. ” Carl was behind us and I walked up to him. “We are over. You can have her.” I stormed off. I was so hurt. I forced myself not to cry. I ran up to my room and packed my belonging. I grabbed the picture of me and my family, some snacks, my knife, and my bow and arrow. Before leaving I wrote Carl and the rest of the group a note.
“I appreciate all of you guys. You all have made me stronger, but I can’t do this anymore. Thank you Rick for saving me and being a part of your group back at the prison. Glenn and Maggie, thank you for being there for me. You guys are like my parents. Daryl, always looking out for me. You’re the best big brother I never had. Michonne, thank you for teaching me my strength. And for Carl, I will never stop loving you. I just can’t be your second choice. Please don’t bother coming to look for me, I will be long gone by then. Please keep Judith safe. -Y/N. ”
I placed it on the bed I once shared with Carl. And snuck out.
I was stupid. I should’ve never chose Enid over Y/N. She’s the love of my life. Yeah I liked Enid, but only because she had the same interests as me. She loved comics, being out in the woods, and she used to play with action figures and collect them just like I used to do. But Y/N, she was the opposite. And it was then that I was with Enid about to kiss her when I realized that Y/N was the one for me. She was my other half. 2 different people with different interests becoming whole. I ran to the house leaving Enid with a sad look saying “Sorry. But Y/N is the one” I opened the door and ran towards our room. I noticed the picture was missing of Y/N and her family. I looked on the bed and there was a note. I couldn’t breathe. She was gone. I didn’t notice I was crying until I saw tear drops on the paper. I ran downstairs to my dad and just hugged him. “She’s gone” was all I could say. He kept asking me what was wrong and what I was talking about. Michonne grabbed the note from me and read it out loud. Everyone was there. “I have to go look for her”
“Carl, you can’t go. It’s too late we-” I cut my dad off
“ TOO LATE!? Dad she’s the love of my life!”
“We are all going with you” he finished.
We all went out into the cars and Eugene opened the gate for us. “I’m coming for you Y/N. ”
The following days are with me spent locked in my bedroom, I don’t eat, barely sleep. I ignore the constant knocks on my door and completely shut out my dad. The only time I leave is ‘feeding time’ for Daryl. I took a personal interest to not let the saviours mess him around too much, Dwight makes a point of giving him a dog food sandwich. Dwight stands there as he takes his first bite then leaves. I wait for them to get completely out of sight before sneaking over. I peel the door open and see Daryl sigh thinking its Dwight again. When he sees its me he furrows his eyebrows. I take the sandwich out of his hand forcefully and he frowns thinking its malicious. I reach behind me and grab the actual sandwich and can. There is a dark corner the other side of the box room and I point to it.
“leave the rubbish over there, they won’t see it and I’ll get it later.” I say and stand up to leave, his hand wraps around my ankle and I bend down to him again. “are you ok? do you not like chicken? I could get you a ham, or beef-” I say but he cuts me off. “your daddy know you’re here?” he grits. I shake my head. “no” I sigh. “well I ain’t getting caught, take it back” he huffs. I shake my head again. “no please, I hate that they’re treating you like an animal. You need to eat some proper food. please.” I exhale. He nods and unwraps the sandwich, moaning at the taste of human food. I go to leave again. “thank you” he whispers, I just nod.
I decide to get a little sun. As I walk outside I hear multiple gun shots. I look over to the truck.
My eyes widen and I start making my way over but my dad beats me to it. They talk and then they set off for the wives room. I follow them, trying to stay quiet. As dad is about to shut the door he calls out “y/n, come on in I know you’ve been following us” with a sigh I show myself and storm past him.
“Ladies, don’t mind the kid.” he announces to the wives who all move away from Amber. I make my way over to Carl and Negan and catch the end of their conversation. “-you’re gonna want to look at their titties” my dad smirks but Carl shakes his head looking down, I wrap my hand around his elbow. My dad sighs and heads over to the corner with Sherry. I move my hand down from his elbow to his hand lacing mine with his. He looks at me through his hair and I smile at him awkwardly. He huffs and removes my hand. I sigh and look over to my dad, watching us. He turns away, immersing himself in a heated conversation with Sherry. I take the chance and reach up, pecking Carl on the cheek. “I’ll find you” I whisper into his ear, he gulps and nods his head slightly.
I leave and go back to my room thinking about the last few days. I barely know Carl, really the only thing I know about him is his name and his dad. I sigh and after a while go out for a stroll. I see Daryl and give him a slight nod. I see my dad in a truck with Carl and Dwight. “princess! there you are, hop in, we’re going on a ride” my dad calls out to me. I glance at Daryl and his eyes widen. I look down and walk over to the truck getting in, I sit on my dads lap and stare out of the window the entire way.
A while later we pull up to big gates, I presume its Alexandria. We all step out and Carl leads us towards his house, while the other saviours tear through the houses. My dad looks around and goes in every room, he finds Carls little sister Judith and I gulp. He plays around with her for a while before leaving to do some business.
“Carl I’m so sorry, I’m going to fix this” I sigh. He snorts. “what are you going to do?” he huffs. “just trust me please, I’m nothing like my dad!” I plead. He bites his lip and nods. I take that as my queue to leave and I see a saviour with a huge box of food and medicine. I hear Carl sigh behind me. “hey, you taking that to the truck?” I call out to them. They turn around and nod. “I’ll take it” I say and they nod with a smile handing it to me. I wait until they leave and run up the steps of Carls house. He opens the door quickly and I rush in. “hide this” I pant. He takes it from me and pushes it behind the couch. “thank you” he mumbles. I smile at him and walk out of his house. I go help with collecting things which means taking things off people and hiding them again. I go back outside and see everyone crowding around my dad and a man playing pool?
I walk over to them and see my dad tauntingly walk over to the man. He says something to him and then stabs him, everyone gasps and my eyes fill with tears. “dad!” I gasp pushing to the front of everyone. Again, everyone stares at me. “ah princess, just in time” he cheers but then a bullet goes off. “ shit! What the shit?! shit! You just…You tried to kill me?! You shot Lucille!” he fumes and Arat pins the girl to the floor, knife on throat. “She got in the way.”she grits. Negan picks the bullet casing up. “What is this? What is this? This little bad boy made from scratch? Look at those crimps. This was homemade. You may be stupid, darlin’, but you showed some real ingenuity here. Arat, move that knife up out on that girl’s face. Lucille’s beautiful, smooth surface is never gonna look the same, so why should yours?! Unless… Unless you tell me who made this.” he spits. “It was me. I made it.” she hisses. “You see, now I just think you’re lying. And you lying to me now?! Such a shame. Arat’s gonna have to cut up that pretty face. One more try.” “It was me.”she repeats. “Oh! You are such a badass! Fine. Have it your way. Arat… Kill somebody.” my dad says and Arat turns around shooting someone. “No. It was me! No!” the girl on the floor yells. Carl and the woman on the porch go down at the same time and I gasp, tears springing to my eyes. We wait for a second then Carls head pops up, extremely angry. I sigh out, it wasn’t Carl. “We had an agreement.” Rick grits coming behind the crowd with a severely beat up man. I rush over and hold the man up as Rick lets go, Rick gives me a weird look but leaves me with him, another man also went to the other side of the man. “Rick! Look, everybody, it’s Rick. Ah, your people are making me lose my voice doin’ all this yelling.” dad laughs. I sigh and turn to the man. “are you okay?” I whisper. He nods. “we need to get you cleaned up” I mumble. “I’m fine, and why do you care anyway, your dads men did this” he sighs. “I’m going to stop him, I’m going to do something” I say with determination. “well do it quick” the other man grits and turns around pulling the injured with him, they head to the infirmary and I look down.
“princess? where did you go?” my dad calls out for me. People move out the way and he sees me and smiles. “lets go home” he grins. I sigh and start walking towards him. Everyone stays silent watching us. He goes to put his arm around me and I grab it shoving him off. “princess don’t be like that” he tuts. I groan and turn around pressing my finger into his chest. “YOU DIDN’T HAVE TO DO THAT! YOU ALREADY KILLED TWO OF THEIR PEOPLE, YOU TOOK DARYL. NOW TWO MORE AND EUGENE! I HATE YOU, I HATE YOU I HATE YOU!” I scream pushing him over and over again. His eyes flash hurt for a minute before he grabs my arms and picks me up, slinging me over his shoulder. I scream and thrash against him but he doesn’t seem fazed by it. Just keeps walking to the truck.
Back in season one when I first started
watching the show, Ian was my favorite Gallagher. I just connected
with him for some reason. Carl was my second favorite. Then when
Mickey came onto the screen for the first time screaming “Ian
Gallagher” and his little exchange with Lip, well Mickey stole my
But Ian was still my Favorite Gallagher
and maybe my second favorite character. I loved how he could show
such innocent sincerity and love while still being rather emotionally
suppressed and a loner. There was a way about Ian, it was the way he
handled himself, his facial expressions, how soft he was even when he
was being hard. I loved Ian fucking Gallagher.
Season 5 fucked me up, for a lot of
reasons. I’m not going to list them all but I think everyone is in
the same boat here.
Yayy for @kijilinn ‘s fic “Bellflower” inspiring me to write something of my own. I’ve never done a self insert before so for all intents and purposes here one is.
I’ll be ducking and dodging the smut area cause I’m like…I have a feeling Negan wouldn’t have sex with an 18 yr old? Like me personally I’d hit that ass cause I’m of age but I know the subject can be iffy for some people so we’ll see what happens, especially since this fic may also deal with or mention my real-life past of having random traumatic shit happen to me for no goddamn reason. For all intents and purposes this is me interacting with Negan.
I’ll tag the homies at the end and if u wanna have ur name added or removed lemme know.
🔅Request: Could you do one where Glenn and Maggie think of you as their kid and protect you and don’t want you around Carl but you like him. Please and thank you ❤️🔅
(I hope you like it!)
I was dead when they found me, everyone else was dead too. Everything that we used to have, that we used to love was gone. I wasn’t afraid to die, the worst thing that could’ve happened to me had already happened, the roamers ate my family, my friends and maybe half the world population by now. I walked fearlessly, I didn’t want to give up, but I didn’t want to live either. In the middle of the night, surrounded by roamers and ready to die, that’s how the found me. A young man asked my name while a girl more or less his age looked for bites in my body, I was almost unconscious. -Are you okay? —he yelled at me. I didn’t answer, I barely remember this moment. I woke up the next morning in a cell. It was good to know there was still a safe place in the world. -Good morning! —the same girl from the night before came to my cell, she had a bowl in her hands. -Good morning. —I answered under a headache. -This is for you. —she gave me the bowl, it had beans in it. —Eat and then come out here with us so you can get a job. -Job? -We all got jobs around here, if you stay, you gotta work. —she explained. —I’m Maggie, by the way. -I’m (Y/N). —I said with a mouthful of beans, maybe the first decent food I had in my mouth since a long time ago. The young man that I saw the night before showed up, he stopped at the cell door. -How is she? —he whispered to Maggie. -She’s alright. —she turned to look at him. —(Y/N), this is my husband, Glenn. -Hi. —he smiled and raised his hand to wave at me. I only smiled and took the spoon to my mouth again. Glenn and Maggie were my only friends, they helped me with my job and they brought breakfast to my cell. When the walkers weren’t all over us and we had a little more time, we all had breakfast at my cell while we shared jokes and stories from the day before. They were like family to me. Eventually, I started to join the group. I found out everyone had jobs, like Maggie had told me, and that everyone was working hard to protect each other, that they were one big warm family that loved one another. -Do you need some help with that? —a boy asked me. My job was to take care of the crops. I plowed the ground and cleaned the dirt that landed on the plants. The next friend I made in the prison was Rick’s son, he was a fun kid about my age, he was brave and couldn’t wait to grow up. He was also handsome and gallant, like his dad. -It’s okay, I got it. —I answered. —Thanks. -I think I didn’t welcome you when you arrived. -Really? -Yeah, I didn’t introduce myself either. —he took a step closer to me. —I’m Carl. I couldn’t keep my smile inside, his voice was strong but sweet, and when his blue eyes stared right into mine, I could feel butterflies flying inside my stomach. -So I just wanted you to know that I’m here if you need anything. —he smiled. -Thanks. —I smiled as well and he walked away. He seemed like the cutest guy, his eyes turned smaller when he smiled and his cheeks were rosy when the sunlight shone on him. When he walked, the hair that peaked under his sheriff hat oscillated with the fresh air. I wasn’t mature enough to just go back to my job after he left, instead, I watched him walk away and sighed as his arms swung back and forth away from me. He was completely out of sight, so I went back to work. When I turned around, I saw Glenn in front of one of the fences, taking walkers down with a pipe, he was looking at me. I waved both my hands at him, I thought he’d be happy to see I made a new friend at the prison, but he wasn’t. He barely waved his pipe at me and then turned around, with no expression on his face. When the sky was no longer blue, I walked inside the prison straight to the cell block. Everyone was having dinner at the tables and talking about how their day was. There was an empty spot next to Carl, so I went there to take the seat. -Hi. —he greeted. -Hello. -How did the plowing go? —he asked giggling. -It killed me. —I joked. We laughed about our day, and he discussed movies, books and tv shows. I was happy to meet Carl, but I was happier to see him sitting next to me, occasionally bumping his knee with mine. Between chuckles, I turned to the table in front of ours and saw Glenn and Maggie, they turned to look at us and said something to each other. My mind flash backed to that afternoon, when Glenn was staring at me after my conversation with Carl. I didn’t overthink it any more, so that night I went to my cell, tumbled over my bed and fell asleep. I woke up to a knocking on my door and the light that was filtered between the curtains. -Wake up! —Carl yelled with a giggle at the end of his sentence. I took the blankets up to cover my face and prayed for him to leave. -Why? -Because you need to be awake when I throw some dirt at you. —he said, I took my head out to be sure I heard correctly. -When you throw so- I didn’t get to finish my question when he three a little ball of dirt to my face. I just felt the smack on forehead and then the liquid streaming down. -Ew! —I yelled. He was laughing his ass off, and then he gave me a bucket full of mud. I grabbed a handful and threw it, staining his plaid shirt. -You’re so dead. —he chuckled. We ran out of my cell and around the entire cell block, everyone yelled at us, telling us to stop playing like little kids, but I could only hear his laugh when he felt another ball of mud hitting him. We went outside, he kept throwing those things at me, but then he took one that was much larger than the others, he squeezed inside his palm and launched it straight to my stomach, I lost my balance and landed on the ground. Blood came out of my elbows, but it was fun, who doesn’t get those kind of wounds in their youth? -Are you okay? —he asked, trying to hide his laughter. -Yeah. —I shook off the blood that I got on my hand for checking my left elbow. Carl lent me a hand and I stood up. -You got dirt right here. —he joked poking my cheek, I had mud on every inch of my body. He wiped it away and put his lips together to then put them on the spot he cleaned. -(Y/N)! —I heard Glenn’s voice in the distance. Maybe he was near, or maybe he was far away but everything sounded so distant when Carl submerged us both in that warm half second. My face was red and burning, his lips were burning too. —(Y/N)! -You should go with him. —Carl said with a tad of shyness. The blue in his eyes was replaced with all the colors of the rainbow, a singular sparkle jumped from his eyes to mine and back to his again, it was a nice feeling. I turned around and walked towards Glenn. -Were you talking to Carl? —he asked as soon as I arrived to him. -Something like that. -You shouldn’t spend a lot of time with him. -Why not? —I asked. I couldn’t figure a reason why Glenn wouldn’t want me around Carl. A silence took over the conversation and Glenn just stared at me dead in the eye. Finally, he sighed and said: -You should focus on staying alive, not looking for a boyfriend. —he moved his hands towards me as he said that, with a firm voice. -I’m not looking for a boyfriend! —I yelled, a little offended by his comment. -Then stay away from him! —he yelled only a few inches away from my face. I never saw Glenn so angry, a little vein in his forehead showed me he really was upset. —Because he clearly likes you. -Really? —I asked with a little hidden smile when he said those last words. -Did you even listen to what I said? -I did. —I said. —But it was only a kiss, Glenn. -A kiss? —he asked lifting his eyebrows. —He kissed you?! Our yelling called out some walkers but it also caught Maggie’s attention. -What’s going on? -Carl kissed her. —Glenn pointed his index finger at me. -Is that true? —Maggie asked. -Am I missing something here? Is there a reason why I should stay away from Carl? Is he the devil or something? -(Y/N). —Maggie tried to calm me down. —Glenn and I don’t want to see you hurt. -What do you mean? -You’re… —Glenn sighed. —You’re family to us. -You really are, (Y/N). —she smiled. Somehow, Maggie always knew how to mend things and make everything work out just fine. -And you’re so young, and sweet, and kind. —Glenn said. -Well, Carl’s not a bad guy. —Maggie whispered to him, maybe considering the option of letting me be with him. Her husband dropped the pipe he was holding and ran to give me a hug, pulling Maggie with us. -I just love you girls so much. —he whispered against my hair, wrapping his arms around our shoulders. I knew that they just wanted to protect me, and I was grateful to have them with me. When the hug was over, Glenn gave me a smile and a look that let me know that he cared about me. —You can go with your boyfriend now. -He’s not my boyfriend. —I giggled. -Good, we can keep it that way. —Maggie joked. -It’s okay, he’s a good boy. —he patted my shoulder. —But I want you to know, if he hurts you, I’m gonna have to take action on the matter. -Got it. —I laughed and walked back to my cell.
It was days since me and Carl spoke, since i spoke for a long time actually. I felt more alone because I didn’t have Lori or anyone here for me. Carl was here but he killed my second mother, and shot me… it conflicted me. I walked past Carl’s cell, feeling him stare at the side of my head. I missed him throughout the day, and more at night.
“You always picked up the phone..” I mumble standing outside his cell, but not looking in.
“What?” He asked while standing.
“When we were little, we memorized our home numbers so if we ever called, we would pick up. You always picked up, and came over when my parents were fighting… you came and laid in bed with me and calmed me down.” I said starting to tear up at the thought of my parents. I looked at him feeling the tear fall,
“Its my turn to be a good friend like you were to me.” I whisper as i run to him, embracing him tightly. He shivered in my arms, his face felt wet like he’s been crying. I kissed his shoulder trying to calm him down.
“I’m sorry (y/n).” He whispered in the crook of my neck. I took a deep breath and rubbed his back,
“It’s okay Carl, I promise, I won’t leave you again, as you won’t leave me too right?”
“Yes (y/n) together till the end.” He whimpered starting to cry. I tried hard to not to feel pity for him, he has been through too much. I kissed his shoulder again,
“Common Carl, let’s take a walk, maybe visit Judith. Huh?” I asked to maybe get his mind off of the sad atmosphere.
“Can we lay down, please?” He whimpered pulling away from our hug and looking at his mattress. I nodded.
He laid down first facing toward me, I laid facing him, he wrapped his arms around me and squeezed me into him.
She takes my mind off things you know, perfect little bundle of all things that I need. She was so warm, I was so cold. Even though she hasn’t bathed, her scent calmed me as I breathed. She is my bliss. It’s funny you know, we used to cuddle as kids, now we’re cuddling as teenagers, for the same reasons… We are scared.
When we were little she would call early in the morning and whisper
“Please come over, I need you.” And I would be there in five minutes, and wrapped around her as her parents screamed. I was her rock, best friend.
Now she is mine, my rock, my best friend. Even though I want her as more than a friend, I would rather rot in the friend zone than be without her. How could I ever tell her, “oh yea I have loved you since I met you, now we are in the apocalypse… Wanna be my girlfriend?” That’s stupid… I sighed feeling immature.
“Do you feel better?” She asked looking up from my chest.
“Much better now.” I kissed her forehead. Her skin was so soft, just as it was when she was small.
I smiled when she did, she has been such a trickster with me. She always flirts with me, but yet she kept me in the friendzone. She plays the game well, she plays my heart even better.
Should i tell her now? I mean we just become best friends, but I’m impatient when it comes to her. She drives me to be who i am, and be a providing man for her one day. Except the phrase “bringing home the bacon,” will now be a literal statement. I smiled down at her, she seemed to be asleep.
“(y/n)?” I whispered. She just twitched her nose and cuddled close to me. She was so adorable when she slept.
“I’ve loved you for a long time now, and one day i promise I will be man enough to say it when your awake.” I whispered wrapping her tightly into me.
I woke up with a yawn, I actually shocked myself with how good I slept. Carl was still asleep next to me. He was so adorable when he slept.
“Carl?” I whispered slightly pressing my lips on his. His eyes opened slowly then closed not wanting to get up. He tightened his arms bringing me closer to him. “Not yet (Y/n).” He said with a groan. I giggled,
“Come on you old fart, we have stuff to do.”I giggled and ticked his tummy. He laughed and decided to get ontop of me and tickle me. I haven’t laughed this much in years. When Carl stopped tickling, he stared at me… almost longingly. His eyes stared at my lips, then my eyes, then to the way he was pinning me down.
“I - I” He started to say but he was cut off by Rick opening the curtain.
“Woah!” HE said covering his eyes. “Shit” Is all we could say. Now Rick thinks his son and I were having sex.
I scurried out of the bed and into the open cell block… great, everyone is staring at me. I sighed and walked into the mess hall, then outside, then near the gates. I took this new found embarrassment and forced it into anger which I released on the walkers.
I came out of the cell, where did she go? I questioned not even caring about everyone staring at me. My father stood before me,
“What happened!” He yelled.
“Its called sleeping in the same bed as a woman. Get off my back, and stop thinking i would take advantage of her like that.”
I growled and ran outside to find her. We were so close, then of course, my dad ruined everything. He always ruined everything. I ran toward the gate seeing (y/n) take whatever emotion she was feeling on the corpses at the gates. I sighed and ran towards her, mumbling her name.
When I got to her she was sitting with her head on her knees and arms. She looked so innocent ,
“(Y/n)?” I mumbled sitting next to her. She looked at me and sighed,
“Yes?” She replied still looking at me.
“I’m sorry that happened-” I started to say but she raised her hand telling me to stop.
“You were going to kiss me weren’t you?” She asked looking at the ground in front of her feet. My cheeks went straight to red, I almost lied to her saying no. This was my chance, to be a man….
“Yes… I was.” Sadly I mumbled out like a coward. She almost chuckled, I thought I saw her smile. She looked at me,
“Cause…” I started feeling myself choking on my words, “I … Kinda … Had a crush on you since we were kids.” I finally spat out, I felt the weight of confession lifted off my shoulders.
She looked back at the ground and seemed to think, I hope good thoughts. My impatience almost got the best of me when she finally spoke.
“What’s stopping you from kissing me now?” She asked looking at me. I laughed seeing she wanted me to kiss her, I pointed to the gate full of walkers. She nodded and started to stand,
“Come on loser.” She said walking toward the watchtower. God, she was so attractive. I chased after her like a cat with a laser pointer. I finally caught up to her, and looked at her.
“So why do you want me to kiss you?” I decided to get her to confess a little, I mean comeon.
“Cause I thought the same thing you did… That you only thought of me as a friend.” She entered the door to the east watchtower. I laughed as she practically pulled me to the top.
Then there we were, breathing in each others breath, about to kiss. She looked at my lips, then my eyes, then to my hands. I wrapped my hands around her lower back and caressed her beautiful face. Her eyes stared into mine but slowly closed as she pressed her lips onto mine. She kissed me softly but then I felt the longing as her hands wrapped the back of my head bringing me closer to her, and harder.
We kissed for a few moments then heard the door open, she broke our beautiful kiss to look at Daryl.
“She’s coming with me.” He said with a growl.
I took her hand in mine,
“You aren’t taking my girlfriend.” I growled back, but I felt her hand on my chest which made me look at her.
“It’s alright, I was suppose to be on a supply run with him but I lost track of time kissing you..” She trailed off starting to giggle.f beginning to giggle. I stared at her and nodded, she followed Daryl but turned around and kissed my cheek.
“Carl! Get back here!” I ran after Carl with Judith cradled in my arms. She giggled as we chased her immature older brother around Alexandria. I heard the distant laughter from Michonne and Maggie sounding from behind me as Judith and I gained on Carl. I was finally close enough to him to lynch forward and grab the back of his shirt, “TAG! You’re it!” I yelled. Judith clapped her hands together, laughing as Carl turned and gave us the moodiest scowl I’ve ever seen.
I couldn’t help but laugh at his expression, earning a smirk of defeat from him, as he couldn’t stay mad at us for long. Carl has been in Alexandria with me for a while now, if I had to take a rough guess, I’d say it’s been just over two months. Him and his group have really settled in, and it’s so amazing to see him and Rick around like old times. I’ve met so many lovely new people too! Glenn is so fantastically hilarious, and Michonne is so badass I’m actually really jealous. Then there’s Daryl, he is the epitome of awesome. Everyone is so nice and it feels as if they’ve been here the whole time!
Spending time with Carl again is the best part of course. We’ve done so much talking, sometimes we don’t even sleep at night because we’re just out on the porch, catching up and reminiscing about our old lives and all the memories we made together as best friends.
There’s something different about Carl Grimes now though. I’m not 100% sure what it is, but there’s a certain glimmer in his eyes when he sees me, which I’ve never noticed before throughout the time I’ve known him. We still do everything we used to. He holds my hand and we go for walks, and he kisses my cheek when I feel sad and holds me close. But the tone of it all has somewhat transformed into something less friendly and more, intimate. When he hugs me, he never lets go and the way his palms spread across my back and his fingers trail down my spine is a completely new feeling, and it’s something he’s definitely never done before. When he kisses my cheek, it’s not as brief as it used to be. It’s slow and he gently presses his lips to my skin with such care, and sometimes he lingers for a while before he eventually moves away from me. When he holds my hand, he doesn’t overlap his palm over mine, he entwines our fingers and strokes the back of my knuckles softly as we stroll together. It’s weird, it’s new, but I love it…
I can’t deny that something has changed in me as well. Like I said, I’m not sure what it is and I don’t know if I really want to admit it to myself out loud just yet, but I know it’s there. I know that my friendship with Carl isn’t just an innocent boy/girl best friend thing anymore. I once heard my friend’s older sister say that opposite sex best friends often end up falling in love, whether it takes them a couple of months, a couple of years, or even a couple of decades! They somehow eventually always catch feelings for one another. Personally, I’ve never witnessed anything like that happen, but now I’ve realised that perhaps I haven’t seen it because it’s actually happening to me.
Our parents used to joke about us getting married when we were little and we used to make vomit sounds and yell things like, “Gross!” and “As if!”
But now, when I think about it, it wouldn’t be so bad. In fact, I know it’s not so bad because I can fairly say that I don’t just see him as my friend anymore. He’s not only my best friend, but he’s my soulmate, and I can’t imagine my life without him. A week ago, I almost lost him and I was scared to death. I thought he was never going to return from the run he went on with Rick, Daryl, Abraham & Sasha. I held Judith tightly in my arms and rocked her back and forth as I sat on the porch, hoping and praying that they’d drive through the gates in one piece.
I wouldn’t be able to live without Carl. Especially now that I’m beginning to see him in this whole new light and feel things towards him that I’ve never experienced with another person before. I’ve never had a crush on anyone, I’ve never fallen for anyone. However, I know that this must be something pretty damn close to love that I’m feeling for Carl. There’s no other way to describe it. What other word could you possibly use to explain the way my heart skips a beat when I see him? And the way tingles and shivers run down my spine when his skin brushes my own?…
“Wanna go get a drink?” Carl asked, pulling me out of my insane train of thoughts as he gasped for air. He bent down, holding himself up by pressing his palms onto his thighs as he panted, “I’ve never ran that fast in my life…”
I playfully patted him on the back and led him to his house. I asked Michonne to take Judith whilst we went inside to cool down for a bit. She happily obliged and held Judith as we disappeared inside. Carl grabbed us both a glass of water and we sat beside each other at the kitchen counter as we occasionally sipped on our drinks. We sat in a comfortable silence, neither of us uttering a word to the other as we attempted to steady our breathing from all the exercise we’d just done. His gaze caught mine as we both turned our heads to look at each other simultaneously. He chuckled quietly, before pressing his lips together in a smile and sighing inwardly, “Just like old times, huh?” He spoke, his smile growing into a grin as he slid his glass over to himself and gulped down the remainder of its contents, “It still feels surreal that you’re here. I can’t believe we actually found one another again…” He hopped down from his seat, taking his empty glass and placing it by the sink before standing opposite me, leaning against the counter with his arms out in front of him, holding him up.
“I can’t help wishing we’d have found each other sooner though,” I replied, finishing my drink. He instantly took my empty glass and put it next to his own before returning to his stance against the counter. We both stopped for a moment and stared at one another, his eyes boring into my own. A sudden burst of energy sprang into me, and my body shivered, causing me to physically twitch. Carl tilted his head to the side in confusion, before shrugging and walking around the counter towards me.
He reached me and turned my stool, forcing me to face him directly. He’d grown even taller, so even with the height of the stool, I didn’t have to look down on him. His face met mine perfectly, and he looked at me with the most neutral expression he could muster, before sighing once more, “Carl?” I whispered, reaching out and gently placing my hand in his shoulder, “Carl, are you okay?”
“Y/N… Could I just… Could I, perhaps, try something?” He asked awkwardly, scratching the back of his neck.
“Um, sure… Go ahead,” I agreed, feeling slightly confused and bewildered by his strange question. He took my hand in his and helped me down from the stool. I stood close to him, looking up at his face as he furrowed his brows before relaxing. He closed his eyes and exhaled a long breath before opening them again and looking at me with the same glimmer I’d familiarised myself with over the past month or so.
“Okay… Um,” He said almost non-audibly, as if he was saying it to himself rather than me, before he took a small step even closer to me. He placed one hand on my waist, resting his palm against my side as I lifted my arm a little for it to be comfortable for him. I felt the all too familiar tingle coursing through my body as his other hand cupped my cheek, “Okay…” He whispered again, before tilting his head, his fingers brushing against my cheek softly as he leaned in. His eyes fluttered closed, as did mine as he pressed his lips onto my own.
Feeling his lips against mine made me feel as if my feet were rising from the ground and I was suddenly floating. I wrapped my arms around his neck, as I kissed him back tenderly, showing my feelings for him through the gentleness of the kiss. He pulled away and pressed his forehead against mine, our noses also touching as his eyes opened slowly. Because we were so close, he went a little cross-eyed and I giggled as I pulled him into a tight hug. I kissed him on the cheek, lingering like he usually does before slipping out of his arms and holding his hand, “Perhaps you could try that again sometime…” I whispered, causing the biggest of smiles to spread across his face.
“I’d like that,” He replied, his fingers weaving through mine as he tightly held my hand as if he never ever wanted to release me from his grasp, “Y/N… I… I love y -”
“I love you too,” I blurted out before he could even finish. I covered my mouth with my spare hand, shaking my head as my cheeks began to heat up. Carl just laughed and hugged me again, making me feel safer than ever before. Carl Grimes loves me, and I will forever love him back…
I hope you liked the second part! I was going to wait to upload this but I couldn’t sleep so I just wrote it and had to upload it as soon as I’d finished! Let me know what you think :)
Here’s me as Mark Twain and Matt Gourley as Carl Sagan. Before the Dead Authors Podcast concludes its monthly run in September, I wanted to see what it was like to be the guest. Having hosted this show for years, I knew that as challenging as my job can be, I suspected it was a much bigger challenge to sit in that other chair. And I was RIGHT. My hat is off to all the brilliant improvisers I’ve had on this show over the years, who always always always made it look effortless. Turns out it isn’t! And thanks to my pal Matt Gourley for playing Carl Sagan for the second time on the DAP– it had to be him; no one else would have made sense to me. And no one could have taken better care of me. And biggest thanks of all to our audience– if they were at all disappointed by this non-advertised switcheroo, they very politely and skillfully hid it from me. I have never ever not enjoyed myself at a Dead Authors show, and I can’t say that about everything. HG Wells will be back on Monday for round two with L. Ron Hubbard! AND DONATE YOUR TIME AND/OR MONEY TO YOUR LOCAL 826 CHAPTER!
it’s been 3 seasons since Lori’s death and even still the hate on her pisses me off.
It’s so unjustified and excessive to the point of ridiculous.
“Lori’s such a slut.”
First of all, she slept with 2 guys. Two. One being her husband. The other being his best friend. Now pause. You really think Lori would have slept with Shane if she knew Rick was alive? Shane told her he was dead. He helped her. He saved her and her son, which was the most important thing to her. He acted like a father to Carl. She was grieving. You literally cannot blame her for trying to cope. And really? slutshaming? How low. Shane slept with two girls, Lori and Andrea, but…where’s the hate on him? haha oh right I forgot, it’s only wrong when girls do it. :-)
“Lori’s so annoying. She needs to shut up. Rick knows what he’s doing”
In some aspects, yes. It was annoying when she was so against Carl getting a gun because we, the audience, all knew it was for safety but are you forgetting??? Carl was fucking 11. No matter what was going on that was still her baby boy and she was a mother. She thought like a mother.
People also claimed how annoying she was for arguing with Rick. Oh yeah, god forbid, a woman has her own opinions and voices them. God forbid someone stands up against everyone’s favorite tragic hero.
“Lori was an awful mother.”
and how is that? Okay, yeah, she swallowed abortion pills. But she threw them up. But honestly, take a moment and think. Lori was right. Logically speaking, a baby in a zombie apocalypse? Either a burden or walker food, as morbid as it is. Why would anyone in their right mind want to bring a child into a world like that???
Second, she loved Carl more than she loved herself. “my sweet boy. Goodnight, love.” Lori’s last words to Carl always kill me.
And are you people forgetting how Lori died in the first place?? giving birth to her child. Lori could have easily let the baby die (as twisted as that seems) and continued to live on; to be there for her son and husband, overall being more of an asset to the group than a screaming, functionless, needy baby.
But no. She chose the life of her child. Awful mother? I think not.
“Lori whined too much.”
the fuck??? bitch where?? If anything, Lori did the opposite of complain. do people not realize how HARD pregnancy is??
and theyre in the apocalypse. so make it times 1000.
there were no doctors, no medicine, no ER. no one waiting on you hand and foot. never once did you see her asking for extra rations (she’s eating for 2) or ask to be pampered or complained when they walked every where because of her feet and back and never once did you see her act like she couldnt do anything. hell, she was fully grown in the stomach and still picked up a gun and fought.
lori was a fucking trooper man and yeah she had her flaws but to be the most hated character??? ridiculous.