anonymous asked:

Your affirmations always make me feel better, can I request an affirmation, i reaaaally want to write music and be in a band, but I feel kind of hopeless (its hard to get people to care about your music) and I mean, I’m only 18 I’ve got a ways to go but I feel like your advice would help me somehow, even if it’s not what I want to hear.

Hey hey you magical musical manta ray!

You’re only 18?!

Frond, it’s gonna be a-ok fine!!! You got heaps of time to get things moving! You don’t need to be in a band tomorrow!

My philosophy is that practice ain’t ever going to make you WORSE at a thing. The more you play and you write, the better you are going to be. And by a similar logic, the more you put yourself out there as a musician, the more chance you have of reaching someone who is going to connect with you and your music.

I’m not a musician, but I’m a writer, and I know a lot of people in creative arts, so here’s a few quick tips.

a) Again, you won’t ever get worse by practicing.

b) The more you play and write, the more you will know who you are and who you want to be as a musician. And that is something you want to know about yourself before you commit to working with other musicians.

c) Be who you want to be and follow your artistic heart. Don’t just join a band - join the right band for you. If your passion is classical music, you probably don’t want to be in a band that exclusively does Bon Jovi covers (unless it’s to pay the bills, maybe).

d) There are times when what you produce will be shit. That’s OK. Try to take constructive criticism on board and don’t take it personally. Learn who the people are that you can trust to be genuinely helpful, and to give you the bad news because they want to help you be better.

e) Keep your old, crappy work though. I occasionally like to read stuff I wrote ten years ago. I find it very encouraging - I can say “Wow. This is so fucking bad. I am so much better now.” Knowing that I’ve learned and grown means knowing that I will continue to grow - my old shit is evidence that practice DOES work!

f) Put yourself out there as much as you can, but don’t force yourself to over commit. Try not to let what you love doing become a chore that you end up finding yourself obligated to do (Unless you are lucky enough to earn enough to make into a career - in which case I’m told managing your work-life balance is really important to make sure you don’t lose your love of music)

g) Failure is OK. Trying again is badass.

- The Slightly Aggressive Affirmer

you can do this. stop sabotaging yourself and your dreams. there will be risks, there will be stress, but go on and actually pursue what you want to do. you will not regret having tried, all things considered. self-doubt can destroy so much of your life. don’t let it, please. 

i hope you all have successful careers. whether your field is low paying or high paying, whether you are pursuing a passion or doing what you can to get by, whether you have known your future since fifth grade or are still trying to figure out what you want to be, whether you become an engineer or an artist or a stripper or a technician or a business owner or a nurse or a designer or a construction worker; i hope your career thrives and brings you some type of joy. you deserve it.

it’s okay to be a nurse or a doctor or a surgeon, but what isn’t okay is assuming that certain people belong in each profession because of their gender/race. men and women can be nurses, men and women can be surgeons, men and women can be doctors

Toughen up. Not everything’s going to go the way you want it to. Things are never going to be how they were, besides, stop letting your brain trick you into thinking the past is better than the present. You know that feeling when you write something on your to do list only to remember you actually completed it yesterday, or when you find a spare pair of earphones in your pocket, or when you find some cash at the bottom of your bag, that feeling when you remember that past you was looking out for future you? You want to be feeling that constantly in the future. Do yourself a favour, get over it and go onwards and upwards. There may be troughs, life’s a curve but remember, there is no limit. 

Being More Mindful:
  • Go to sleep earlier (Listen to ambient music to fall asleep faster(or things like the Calm app)
  • Wake up earlier (Put your alarm far away from the bed so you have to get up and turn it off)
  • Don’t go on your phone first thing in the morning
  • Tell yourself that it’s going to be a good day
  • Stretch for 5 minutes
  • Make your bed
  • Drink a glass of water (Personally, I like to keep a litre of water in my room so i can have it as soon as I wake up)
  • Lay clothes out on the bed(Or, go one step further and set the clothes out at night)
  • Go shower or brush your teeth and wash your face if you shower at night
  • Put lotion on, put clothes on and apply makeup/do your hair as per normal
  • Watch a 5-10 minute motivational video (Youtube has Inspirational channels, Ted Talks etc)
  • Eat breakfast(Smaller bites, appreciate the taste), and drink more water and plan your day
  • Make your lunch 
  • Now, if you have extra time you can look at your phone and scroll through social media a bi before you leave the house
  • Look for beauty around you, in the smiles of people, their fashion, flowers, architecture, interior decorating. Try to take in as much as you can.
  • Look up from your phone(Delete the apps you don’t need. Be honest about what apps waste your time)
  • Make it a goal to make someone’s day better, whether it’s by buying a homeless person a meal, or by smiling genuinely at someone. Brighten someone’s day.
  • If you have extra time, write a journal entry for the day. Write about what you noticed in the world, your goals, your feelings, what excites you etc. Write about your thoughts, let them flow through you.
  • Carry a book around with you and read it when you find yourself doing nothing.
  • Notice how much time you spend on your phone or laptop. Try to replace some time that you spend on silly things with educational things. (Read the news rather than scrolling through memes for an hour, read a motivational book rather than toxic tweets)
  • Learn.Learn.Learn. If you haven’t heard of something, ask what it is. Ask people to teach you how they do whatever it is they do. Don’t settle for no answer. Dig deeper. Learn.
  • When you learn something, try to see if you can explain it to someone else. If you can’t, try to learn a little more.
  • Be nicer to people. Ask them how they are, listen to their stories, learn who they are. You’d be surprised at all the interesting, educational stories that people all around you have. 
  • Go outside every day. Enjoy nature.
  • Appreciate who you are and where your life is at. Appreciate that not everything happens perfectly or as planned. 
  • Appreciate that you can learn anything if you put your mind to it,
  • Spread positive feelings.
  • Cut off anyone who threatens your positive vibes.
recipe for success

hard work, faith in yourself and your abilities, not letting fear hold you back and taking time for yourself to help you rejuvenate. don’t let little insignificant activities like scrolling through social media get in the way of hard work, don’t let insecurity get in the way of belief in yourself, it should be strong and unwavering, don’t let the what-ifs get in the way of making the choices that will either be pivotal in the positive experience they bring or the negative experience they bring (and the subsequent life lesson) and don’t let guilt stop you from enjoying time spent with yourself. you’ve only got one life, make it what you want it to be. 

Dealing with Imposter Syndrome & Remembering to Keep Receipts

Imposter Syndrome is thinking you’re a one-trick pony putting on a series of lengthy shows and believing someone in the audience will eventually stand up to call you out. If the show went well, you won’t think “Hey, maybe I’m not so bad after all.” You’ll instead let out a sigh of relief that you “got away with it” this time, but next time you might not be so lucky. Success feels undeserved and you’re reluctant to take credit for the good things that happen. 

And that’s exactly how I’ve felt since high school with grades and leadership roles and college apps. I got into a UC because “I probably picked a major that was easy to get into” (vs. I had a high GPA, average test scores, a bunch of extracurriculars, and threw my heart into my personal statement). I didn’t walk at my college graduation because I felt like everyone else studied something more difficult and were more deserving. Graduating with honors in my major felt like nothing, and my imposter syndrome continued to impose doubt post-grad.

As a self-taught graphic designer with an unrelated background in psychology & human development and having realized my true passion only after graduating, I felt terribly behind compared to people who actually studied design. Creating my first portfolio after graduating and publicly declaring myself as a graphic designer felt like fraud. Listing typography as a skill and claiming Adobe Illustrator as a mastered tool on my resume felt like bluff, and having had any design experience prior felt like luck. Yeah, I designed a couple of things here and there, but I didn’t know anything well enough to be good enough. 

To my surprise, I landed a full-time job within 5 job applications, 2 phone interviews, 2 design challenges, and 1 on-site, all within a month of starting my official job hunt. What I saw as a lack of a design education, a constant need to ‘catch up,’ and an overwhelming fear of not knowing enough, my employer acknowledged as initiative, ambition, and a capability to self-learn. Yet, I told myself, “It was all luck!” To not have to submit 200 job apps, face 199 rejections, and spend months and months in uncertainty, of course my offer felt like luck and I should be forever grateful.  

Even while reading my offer letter, I thought, “It was all thanks to the people who helped me. They were the ones who read my cover letters, edited my resume, answered all my questions, and gave me mock interviews. I owe it to them.” People provided me guidance and support along the way, but I forgot that it was I who crafted individual cover letters for every company I researched and applied to. It was I who designed my resume and gave people content to edit. I was the one who was brave enough to reach out for help even if it made me anxious. And it was I who made the effort to perfect my elevator pitch. Forgetting my part in the process made me nervous to start work. What if I couldn’t live up to my employer’s expectations?  

For the first few months of work, my lack of confidence showed. I felt that I was always one mistake away from being exposed. They hired me thinking I knew what I was doing and here I was, pretending that I knew–imposter syndrome at its finest. It took me 6 months at a job I love to realize, I am where I am today because I made the effort to get here, but more importantly, I did the work it took to stay here. Luck and happenstance was only a portion of it. How do I know? Because I haven’t gotten fired yet–you can only fake your abilities for so long.

Here’s what I discovered. The secret to getting over imposter syndrome is keeping receipts. Imposter syndrome takes the form of a lack of confidence, self-imposed fear, and an irrational disregard of your own role in your achievements. You have to counter it with logic. Collect evidence. Prove your thoughts wrong. 

Ever since high school, I always forgot the process of what it took to achieve something. I’d acknowledge the end result, but forget about the process. I’d forget how many all-nighters I pulled to crank out those papers, how much I cared about my grades to stress over them, how many times I woke up early to squeeze in some last-minute information.  

Revisiting my success in my job hunt, I found that I wasn’t lucky (for the most part). I had worked my ass off to get here. Here’s what it took: 

And the list could go on with each item on that list containing their own set of difficulties and hard work. 

To make myself believe now that I’m a ‘real’ graphic designer, I have a notepad listing all the projects I’ve completed since starting my job and the both positive and negative feedback I’ve received from them. I write down every single compliment I get from my mentors, coworkers, and managers. Essentially, I’ve kept track of all the things I’ve learned about my work and myself, exactly how I’ve progressed, and how to keep growing. And when I’m occasionally feeling like an imposter, I’ll pull these receipts out to remind myself I’m good at what I do, and show myself all the reasons why.

tldr; It’s possible to be both humble with yourself AND confident. You have to believe in your own success by not forgetting the process. If you put time and effort into it, let it count. Log every step of the way and soon, you’ll notice that that the littlest things add up and you’ll know exactly where your achievements came from. Achievements don’t just happen to you. You MADE them happen. You really did.

The Midheaven/MC

The Midheaven/MC focuses on career, your direction in life, ambition, it relates back to 10th House themes such as social standing and reputation. The Midheaven/MC/Medium Coeli is the sign that was at the southern highest point above the horizon at the time of your birth. The Midheaven is the entrance to the tenth house. The MC officially sits on the cusps of the 9th and 10th House. The MC in relation to the IC/Imum Coeli is looking forward, here you take control of your destiny. The IC is your past, karma, roots, is possibly looked at in that you can’t control your past.

Aries MC: You can bet there is a lot of ambition, a desire to take control of one’s destiny, autonomy and freedom is a huge desire, likely to be their own boss, is impulsive but always looking into the future with big ideas, can be self-focused towards their ambition.

Taurus MC: Progress is slow and sometimes methodical. Is tough, persistent, and determined in their approach to ambition. They are patient when it comes to getting what they want, works hard to take charge, and might be driven towards security the most.

Gemini MC: Is in for one heck of a journey in discovering what they want to do in life, associated with trying to juggle multiple careers, might not have a traditionally focused ambition, is more focused on improvement, knowledge, and stimulation.

Cancer MC: Ambition is connected to emotional investment, until they find their niche you won’t find the most career-oriented person, associated with controlling their destiny in the domestic realm more so than professional realm at times, learns to be an understanding leader.

Leo MC: Is ambitious, sticks to their goals, and takes great pride in their work. These guys hit the ground running in their approach towards ambition. They want to be heard, to accomplish, and to shine. Plenty of themes surrounding the public sphere with this MC.

Virgo MC: Their goals and ambition are very much centered on self-improvement, utility, and analysis. They need a career or direction that involves being useful and/or something that is always refining themselves. They are highly devoted to their path in life.

Libra MC: Ambition is focused in the social realm. Networking and support is key to them succeeding in the professional world. Is adaptable in leadership. Taking charge isn’t easily recognizable to themselves or outsiders but they do this with tact and grace.

Scorpio MC: Passion and ambition go hand and hand here. They are self-motivated, fearless, and out to master their world. Obsession can distract them from their original intentions. Emotional gratification can sometimes rely too much on completing their goals.

Sagittarius MC: Scattered and energetic ambition mixed with a huge desire for freedom and independence in the professional arena. Is always looking into the future, give them challenges and give them adventure. They fly with the MC arrow with no regrets.

Capricorn MC: Systematic and calculated approach towards a heavy ambition. Their direction in life can sometimes progress slowly and methodically but they find a lot of security and financial gain by going this direction.

Aquarius MC: Associated with unconventional careers and path of course, ambitious towards ideas, intellectual pursuits, and dealing with groups, is an innovative and idea leader. Not good with authority! Give them freedom and space for their mind.

Pisces MC: More fluid and laid-back in their approach towards ambition. Intuitive towards their path in life. They follow their feelings and waits for the right opportunities. They don’t desire recognition and focuses on what they love to do.

and in the end the most important question you could possibly ask yourself is

“what kind of person do i want to be?”

what are the traits that should define you, what do you love and how should it change you for the better, what do you pour your soul into and how do you let life impact you?

Your Midheaven Ruler (or 10th house Lord)👨🏽‍⚕️👩🏻‍🌾👨🏼‍🔧👩🏿‍🍳👩🏾‍🏫

This is particularly relevant to those of you who don’t have any planets in your 10th house as the house that contains its ruler will give you more clues about the nature of your career or your ‘calling’. 

🎯MC RULER IN 1ST: You may feel as though your career defines you - or maybe you feel that your work gives you a sense of identity and purpose. You prefer to be a leader rather than a follower, so a career that gives you that freedom is ideal. You may prefer to work alone instead of being part of a team. Your appearance could play a significant role in your career; modelling, acting, and fashion designing come to mind. Given the Mars rulership of this house, sports or manual labour are also possible options. 

💋MC RULER IN 2ND: This house is often referred to as the house of money and resources, so the most obvious professions associated with this house would include banking, accountancy, or real estate. The key to this Venus-ruled house is to find a career that promises financial security - you don’t need to be rich as long as you get to lead a comfortable life. Any Venusian career would suit you well: beautician, singer, interior designer - the list goes on! 

✍🏻MC RULER IN 3RD: You are likely to change careers several times due to a taste for variety and insatiable curiosity - underlying that though, is a need to always be learning something new, which is the essential meaning of this house. Communication is also a key factor so a career in journalism, radio, television, transportation, or education are all good fits. The 3rd house rules the use of the rational mind, so a job handling numbers and statistics could also be an option. 

🏡MC RULER IN 4TH: Your ‘calling’ is not so much ‘out there’ as ‘in here’ - in other words, through your career you will become more and more familiar with yourself, your roots and your inner emotional life. It is likely that the more success you obtain in the outer world, the more you will want to retreat back into your shell where it’s safe and private. You may prefer to work from home as a result, and your work could revolve around care-giving, food, or children. 

🎢MC RULER IN 5TH: Your career should not only be a way to make a living, but should also be something you genuinely enjoy - this is the house of creative self-expression, so anything that puts you in the spotlight would be ideal! You could be a stand up comedian, an actor, a rollercoaster operator, an artist, a dealer at a casino… It doesn’t really matter what you do as long as you’re having fun and are given the chance to show off your personal flair. 

🐕MC RULER IN 6TH: Your profession is likely to revolve around the idea of service - you may literally work in customer service, or perhaps your job has something to do with animals, another 6th house matter. You may also be interested in working with physical health, like being a doctor, nutritionist, or personal trainer. Therapists can also come under this category, as they help you take care of your emotional and mental health. 

💍MC RULER IN 7TH: Look out for jobs that are based around one-to-one interactions - if you’re looking to start up a business, it might be a good idea to look for a business partner to share the workload and have as moral support! Careers in sales, law and marketing also fall under this house. Seeing as this is the house of marriage, you could even be a wedding planner or a marriage counsellor! Try not to be that person who becomes ‘married to their career’! 

🔍MC RULER IN 8TH: Your career should test your investigative abilities and bring to the surface your desire to get to the truth! Detective work for example is a classic 8th house career. Pursuing your calling is going to expose you to some intimidating (but ultimately rewarding) experiences that are in line with 8th house themes. Given this house’s association with death and the occult, being a taxidermist, mortician, or medium isn’t completely out of the question either. 

🛣️MC RULER IN 9TH: Your career will most likely take you out of your comfort zone and into the world, which is why many people with this placement travel a lot for their job. Teaching and publishing also come under this house, as well as religion and philosophy. Find a career that will engage your higher mind, broaden your horizons and leave you with more questions than answers - it may aid your search for meaning in life.  

👔MC RULER IN 10TH: The nature of your career will likely put you in the public eye a good deal, so it is important to cultivate a healthy image or reputation. Whatever your chosen career may be, you aim to be an authority figure in that field, or at least a top earner. You might be interested in setting up your own company, which gives you the freedom to lead and delegate tasks. You may also like to work for the government, which is another 10th house symbol. 

🔬MC RULER IN 11TH: Your ‘calling’ will involve a lot of networking, and connecting with a far wider audience than you can imagine; your friends and any social circles you are part of will likely figure prominently in the pursuit of your career. Your profession may involve charity work, or joining an organisation, or backing a cause you identify with. Science and technology also fall under the 11th house so you could be aiming to make breakthroughs in these areas.  

👻MC RULER IN 12TH: You may be someone who doesn’t really care for pursuing a career, so long as you make yourself useful in one way or another. You may intuitively know what your ‘calling’ is - or perhaps this is something that has always been difficult to pin down and is ever-changing. Your career could be heavily influenced by spirituality and religion. You may work for an institution such as the hospital, museum, library or even prison. Just like the 6th house, the 12th also revolves around service, but in a more abstract or collective sense.  

How to Choose a Career

1. Think about what you really enjoy. What brings you alive? What could you do for hours – even if you weren’t paid to do it?

2. What do others say you’re good at? Sometimes we’re blind to our gifts and strengths but usually other people will comment on them. What do others notice, and constantly affirm?

3. What’s your work style? Do you prefer a more structured environment? Do you prefer to work with other people or on your own? Do you like to follow guidelines and be told the rules, or do you likely to be creative and have autonomy?

4. Where would you like to work? In a hospital, in a school, in an office, in your own home? Would you prefer the type of job where you travel frequently, and perhaps to different countries all around the world?

5. How important is money to you? Are you content with “just enough” or do you want to earn a huge amount? Do you want a regular and predictable monthly income or would you prefer that your salary was based on bonuses and commission?

6. How important is the work-life balance to you? Some careers require you to work long hours, to travel on a whim and to put your projects first. Others give employees more flexibility. They let you choose your hours and the days when you will work.

7. How do you feel about having to work shifts, on evenings, at weekends, or on public holidays? There are many careers that require you to do that.

8. How well do you function under pressure and stress? Again, decide if that is something that you mind in a career.

Screw all this I want a perfect rich lover with a hot body who will take me on exciting adventures and somehow magically fix my life. Give me someone who understands. Someone who will lend an ear to talk to and a shoulder to cry on. Who will sit quietly with me and who will talk for hours, even if sometimes awkwardly, about books and stars and aliens. Someone who respects me enough to let me split the bill and pay for dates but will do so in return. And most importantly, someone who is mature enough to recognise their failings as well as their potential, and to want to grow with me professionally and personally, as friends, partners and lovers. Even if that sometimes means dates are little more than sitting at the library holding hands and occasionally stealing glances at each other.