care-management

Drowned in moonlight, strangled by her own bra.

The thing that is getting to me the most about news of Carrie Fisher’s autopsy report is not the results themselves, but the way the media is handling it. Like it’s a Gotcha moment—like somehow we were tricked into thinking she was a better person than she actually was.

And that is profoundly bullshit.

Carrie was open about being an addict. Her opening line from her iconic stand up show (and book by the same name) “Wishful Drinking” was quite literally, “Hi, I’m Carrie Fisher, and I’m an alcoholic.”

She talked at length and in often brutal depth about her problems with substance abuse, her compulsive self destructive tendencies, and her dependencies to both illegal and prescription drugs. She wrote about it in her books, she talked about it on talk shows. She made an entire comedic stand up performance out of it, detailing the lengths she went to in order to try and regain some semblance of safety and normalcy in her life. 

She was brutally honest that every single day was a struggle for sanity after years and years of attempting to self medicate a mental illness that for most of her life was mistaken for feckless lack of self control. 

You know how they way “Religion is the opiate of the masses?” Well I took masses of opiates religiously! -Wishful Drinking

She was bright, and beautiful and bold about it. And she didn’t have to be.

Carrie Fisher didn’t have to stand there and take the shitstorm of criticism people launched at her for decades, let alone turn it into humor. She didn’t. She didn’t owe anyone outwith her immediate family an explanation for her erratic behavior over the years, nor the flack she caught for it. (Think of all the male actors in Hollywood who are in and out of rehab centers so quickly they could harness the revolving doors as a wind turbine. Then tell me the media press about her life and now her death are fair.)

But she did it anyway, because she knew it was important. And she took those bright lights of Hollywood shining down on her like a ruthless, malevolent child holding a magnifying glass under the sun—and she turned that merciless heat and pointed it at things that mattered, often at the expense of herself, opening herself up to ridicule and the severe cruelty of others who lambasted her for everything, ranging from her weight, her mental illness or her audacity to simply grow old.

Is it tragic that her addiction likely cost her her life? Yes, of course it is. Does it invalidate any of her achievements? The strength and vibrancy with which she lived her life and touched the lives of millions around her for the better? 

“I call people sometimes hoping not only that they’ll verify the fact that I’m alive but that they’ll also, however indirectly, convince me that being alive is an appropriate state for me to be in. Because sometimes I don’t think it’s such a bright idea. Is it worth the trouble it takes trying to live life so that someday you get something worthwhile out of it, instead of it almost always taking worthwhile things out of you?” 

-The Princess Diarist

Carrie Fisher mattered, her voice mattered. The things that she said and did, mattered. They still matter. And they are no less true and poignant in the light of these revelations.

Addiction is a disease. It’s a dysfunction of the brain’s reward system which requires constant management and care and often goes hand in hand with other mental health disorders. It is not simply a question of willpower or the perceived lack thereof. And while sobriety is to be praised and encouraged—of course it is, of course it absolutely unquestionably is—you cannot possibly know what may cause a person to slip or to feel like they can’t cope without that crutch. And shame on anyone who says it was therefore deserved. 

Shame and my heartfelt wishes that you never go through the things that can lead to serious addiction. Or that you are ever abandoned, derided and regarded as less than human because of it and your death turned into a smear campaign against your memory for the sake of a sensationalist headline.

Yes. Carrie Fisher was an addict, she had drug dependency problems related to her mental health. There was a time she kept it hidden, but after she made the decision to come out about it, she stuck by that decision and became a champion, for herself and everyone like her who struggles. Because she never wanted anyone to suffer like she did in order to get help. And she did it with as much grace and humility as she could manage—and a whole lot more indignity, immodesty, crass humor and love as well. Because that’s who she was and she cared. 

And that’s a hell of a lot more than can be said for those crowing over her death like it’s just deserts.

Fuck you.

People do not exist to stand up to your demands of a perfect ideal of humanity. You do not get to place that burden on the shoulders of someone then tear them apart when they fall under that weight—famous or otherwise.

Fuck you and your whole pretense at moral piety and the horse you rode in on.

Carrie Fisher was not your unproblematic fave. She was in fact extremely problematic, and no one knew that better than she did. 

“I heard someone say once that many of us only seem able to find heaven by backing away from hell. And while the place that I’ve arrived at in my life may not precisely be everyone’s idea of heaven, I could swear sometimes—if I’m quiet enough—I can hear the angels sing. Either that or I fucked up my medication again.” 

-Carrie Fisher, Wishful Drinking.

McCain went to Mayo Clinic. The best care, on our dollar, through his government managed health care.

The details of this story drip with shame. McCain will go down as millionaire grandpa who screwed the country so the guy who called him a ‘loser POW’ can pass wealthcare for the top 1%.

I miss this place. I miss making funny things for all of you. I miss interacting with all of my wonderful followers. I miss meeting new people. I just miss it all so much. 

But I’m afraid things beyond my control have kept me away. I just don’t have the energy or concentration to keep up with my tumblr. I have a hard time coming up with funny ideas. I have an even harder time finding a way to turn those ideas into posts. I’ve had to give up photography all together. I tried just eating a meal with my parents for my birthday, and after ten minutes of sitting up straight, I ran out of energy and had to lay back down. My chronic fatigue, my narcolepsy, my depression… they all seem to fight one another in an unending battle that just keeps getting worse and worse. It’s hard to describe just how tired I am. How fatigued my body gets. How my limbs feel like they weigh hundreds of pounds. 

I’ve run out of doctors to see. Treatments to try. Pills to take. Injections to… inject. My only last real hope is to go to the Mayo Clinic. They have a knack for creating treatments for people with complicated medical needs. But there’s the rub. They are out of state. My insurance wouldn’t cover it. I’d have to stay for days or even weeks. I barely have enough to pay for food, much less a ticket to another state. At this moment, it just doesn’t seem like a possible option. 

If there is a bright side… I’m comfortable. I’m not in any pain. I am plenty occupied with the internet, TV, and movies. And in the category of “mixed blessings” I am emotionally numb. No, I cannot feel great joy. Which kinda sucks. But I also cannot feel great sadness. No despair. I still get lonely from time to time. And maybe a little.. frustrated. But I cope with those things pretty well most of the time. I think if I did have emotions at the moment, they would all suck pretty hard. So I feel like at this point, it isn’t so bad being a little numb. 

I have a couple of great friends that stick with me even when I’m a huge bummer. I have two amazing parents that take care of me when I can’t manage to care for myself. I have a quirky little dog that visits me from time to time. 

I know there are chronic conditions that cause much physical and mental pain. I know I don’t have much of a life at the moment, but I am grateful that I can stay reasonably comfortable. Though I could go without the kidney stones I seem to keep getting. Having those removed is just awful and my last recovery period did not go well at all. 

In any case, I just wanted to let you all know I am still around. I promise I am not giving up. But I am also coming to terms with the fact that I might not be able to do much about my situation. I will continue to seek out new treatments, medications, and even doctors that might help. I try to keep tabs on the latest research. Maybe some day they will find a key to this jail I’m stuck in. 

You all have brought me so much joy. It has been an honor entertaining you over the years. This is by no means a goodbye. Perhaps just a “see ya later.” Take care of yourselves. Take care of one another. Stay strong. And perhaps keep me in your thoughts every once in a while. I guess it’s just nice knowing I’m not forgotten. Helps keep me going day to day. 

Self-Care for Students

I am making this post because I have been demonstrating atrocious self-care. Well, I haven’t really been doing any self-care at all. So, for that reason, I am making this post to not only help myself but help other students as well—because I know I’m not the only one out there working non-stop and not taking time for myself!


Time Management

You may be wondering–how does time management fit into self-care? Time management has everything to do with self-care. If you don’t have good time management, then you are probably:

a) losing sleep to complete assignments

b) skipping meals to study

c) not taking time to just relax and de-stress

Make sure you are keeping track of your syllabuses and make sure you have enough time to complete each assignment.

Make appointments to relax whether that be alone, with friends, your s/o(s), or family.


School/College/University Counselor

If you are dealing with stress, anxiety, or depression, make sure you are taking care of your mental health!!! I can’t stress this enough!! Your mental and physical health comes first. If you are struggling with either, how can you be successful in your studies? Your well-being matters and you deserve to have some peace of mind during your school year.

Reach to out and take advantage of the resources that your school offers. Most schools should have a therapist/counselor on campus. If you don’t know how to see a counselor, ask around. This can be a good option for those who cannot afford therapy and/or do not have the time to go to a therapist outside of school!


Exercise and eat healthy

This is something that easier said than done. This is something that I am working on as well. My university has a gym, and I always try my best to get there, but the past few weeks of school have just been so busy and I haven’t had the chance to go.

This may be hard, but try your best to get exercise, even if it is only ten minutes. Even if it’s going for a short jog or running on the treadmill for a bit at the gym. Exercising has been proven to help with depression and stress. It’s also an important part of your overall health.

Many college students are familiar with the struggle to find affordable and healthy food. My university’s cafeteria in my school is ridiculously expensive and I bring a lunch every day. I commute so I am not familiar with things you could do if you are living on campus. If you have any times for dorm students, please feel free to add them!

I can make a post in the future about affordable food for college students.


Treat yo’ self!

That’s right! You heard me! Last week I went up to Chinatown and bought myself and lychee crepe—because I’m worth it (I’m working on building my poor self-esteem—I’ll make a post about that later). Celebrate your success by doing little things for yourself. It doesn’t need to be big. It could be taking a nice bath, go to a movie, hang out with a friend, etc. Going to school can be stressful and it’s important to take some time to do fun things for yourself. You work so hard! You deserve it!


This is by no means an exhaustive list. Please add anything that you feel is important for self-care for students!

my name is Stanley Almodovar III
i carry the name of my father and his father before me
i’m twenty-three years young
i dyed my hair saturday but no one got to see it sunday morning
my name is Amanda Alvear
i am twenty-five years young
people know me as a pharmacy tech, the girl who lost almost two hundred pounds, the girl who takes too many selfies
but the only place i was truly myself was where i was that night
my name is Oscar Aracena
i am twenty-six years young
i’m a student at Valencia College
i was so close to getting my degree… so close
my name is Rodolfo Ayala-Ayala
i am thirty-three years young
i am a supervisor at the OneBlood donation center
i never did know if my job was the one who tried to save my life
my name is Capt. Antonio Davon Brown of the U.S. Army Reserve
i am thirty years young
i almost have my doctorate degree of management in organizational leadership
almost
my name is Darryl Roman Burt II
i am twenty-nine years young
i just received my master’s degree in Human Resources Management
tonight, i was celebrating
mi llamo Jonathan Camuy
soy es veinticuatro anos
trabajo en una cadena de televisión española
realmente estaba deseando volver a trabajar el lunes
my name is Angel Luis Candelario-Padro
i am twenty-eight years young
soon, i will be an ophthalmic technician
i cannot wait to begin my new job in a few days
my name is Omar Capo
i am twenty years young
i love to dance
i always said i wanted to die doing what i loved
my name is Simon Carrillo
i am thirty-one years young
my partner and i just came home from a little getaway to Niagara Falls
i was really looking forward to our next vacation together
my name is Luis Daniel Conde
i am thirty-nine years young
my best friend is  Juan Pablo Rivera Velazquez
he’s been by my side since high school
my name is  Juan Pablo Rivera Velazquez
i am twenty-two years young
my best friend is  Luis Daniel Conde
seems only fitting we left this world together
my name is Cory James Connell
i am twenty-one years young
my brother is getting married this fall and i am to be his best man
don’t tell him but i have no idea what to say in my speech
my name is Tevin Eugene Crosby
i am twenty-five years young
i am the owner of a marketing firm, Total Entrepreneurs Concepts
hard work truly does pay off; i can’t wait to share my latest meme with all of my facebook friends when i get home tonight
my name is Anthony Luis Laureano Disla
i am twenty-five years young
i love to dance, i want to be a dancer
tonight, i want to go dancing with my friends
my name is Deonka Deidra Drayton
i am thirty-two years young
for the first time in a long time, i can finally, confidently, say
that i am happy
my name is Leroy Valentin Fernandez
i am twenty-five years young
i love to sing
no matter what happens in life, no one will ever take my voice away from me
my name is Mercedez Marisol Flores
i am twenty-six years young
i am studying literature at Valencia College’s West Campus but my true passion is party planning
i’ve been thinking about switching majors
my name is Peter O. Gonzalez-Cruz
i am twenty-two years young
all i want to do is make people smile
i’ve always thought that laughter could cure anything
my name is Paul Terrell Henry
i am forty-young years young
i am the proud father of two amazing kids and i have the most magnificent boyfriend
i cannot thank god enough for all of my blessing
my name is Frankie Hernandez
i am twenty-seven years young
i have a little sister, she’s one of my best friends
i cannot wait to see the person she becomes when she grows up
my name is Miguel Angel Honorato
i am thirty years young
i have three sons who i love more than life itself
i hope they will enjoy what i have planned for the next birthday party
my name is Jimmy De Jesús
i am fifty years young
i love my job but i am so thankful i have tomorrow off
i plan on having a good time tonight
my name is Javier Jorge-Reyes
i am forty years young
i am so, so proud of who i am
no one can take that away from me
my name is Jason Josaphat
i am nineteen years young
i love life, i love my life
and it’s only just begun
my name is Eddie Justice
i am thirty years young
i have a huge family, but i am a mama’s boy at heart
i always make sure to text my mom everyday
my name is Christopher Leinonen
i am thirty-two years young
i am madly in love with my boyfriend, Juan Guerrero
i cannot wait to see what the future has in store for the two of us
my name is Juan Guerrero
i am twenty-five years young
i am madly in love with my boyfriend, Christopher Leinonen
after a long week at work, i just want to unwind with my love tonight
my name is Alejandro Martinez
i am twenty-one years young
i have only been living in Florida for two years
but i have always met so many kind people here; that must be why it is called the “sunshine state”
my name is Brenda Lee Marquez-McCool
i am forty-nine years young
i beat cancer twice
and i have never felt more alive
my name is Gilberto Ramon Silva Menendez
i am twenty-five years young
i am studying health care management at the Ana G. Mendez University’s Orlando campus
all i want to do is help people
my name is Kimberly Morris, but you can call me ‘KJ’
i am thirty-seven years young
i moved to Florida to be closer to my mother and grandmother
i love my job as a bouncer at Pulse Nightclub
my name is Akyra Murray
i am eighteen years young
i just graduated from West Catholic Preparatory High School
my name is Geraldo Ortiz-Jimenez, but you can call me Drake
i am twenty-five years young
i love Selena Gomez
i hope to meet her one day
Joel Rayon Paniagua
i am thirty-one years young
i love dancing
i am going to meet my friends for a night of dancing
my name is Jean Carlos Mendez Perez
i am thirty-five years young
not to brag, but i am the best salesperson Perfumania
you can ask Luis Daniel Wilson-Leon
my name is Luis Daniel Wilson-Leon
i am thirty-seven years young
growing up wasn’t easy but i can finally say that i am comfortable in my own skin
and i am lucky enough to have Jean Carlos Mendez Perez by my side through it all
my name is Enrique L. Rios
i am twenty-five years young
i am from New York
but i came to Florida to celebrate my friend’s birthday
my name is Eric Ivan Ortiz Rivera
i am thirty-six years young
i don’t really like clubs
but it’s for a friend, so tonight, i will go
my name is Xavier Emmanuel Serrano
i am thirty-five years young
i have a five year old son who is my entire world
i just hope i will raise him to be a genuine and compassionate person
my name is Christopher Sanfeliz
i am twenty-four years young
i am a personal banker at J.P. Morgan Chase bank
i am very thankful to have Sundays off, especially tonight
my name is Yilmary Rodriguez Solivan
i am twenty-four years young
i am a proud mom and wife
my youngest baby is three months old
my name is Jean Carlos Nieves Rodriguez
i am twenty-seven years young
i just brought my first house
i just want my mom to live somewhere nice
my name is Edward Sotomayor Jr.
i was named after my father
i am thirty-four years young
i love my boyfriend and i love adventure
my name is Shane Tomlinson
i am thirty-three years young
i am the lead singer in a band
i love to bring music to the lives of others
my name is Martin Benitez Torres
i am thirty-three years young
last month, i enrolled in college
i hope to be a pharmacy tech
my name is Juan Rivera Velazquez
i am thirty-nine years young
i love being a hair stylist
 i love making people feel beautiful
my name Luis Vielma
i am twenty-two years young
i love my job, especially working on the Harry Potter ride at Universal
but one day i really want to become an EMT
my name is Jerald Arthur Wright
i am thirty-one years young
i have a huge family, both biological and my coworkers 
tonight i am celebrating my friend’s birthday
—  say their names
(cc, 2017)
Hospital Jargon (as explained by an American floor nurse)

Writing something that takes place in a hosptial? Consider this list of phrases to add a sense of realism:

HOSPITAL LIFE:

Report/ in report: When one nurse hands their patients off to another

PACU can f*ck right off until 1930, we’re in report.

Sign-Out: When one doctor/resident hands their patients off to another

*returning page* “Are they dying? I’ve barely gotten sign-out here

EPIC- Electronic charting system. Literally any electronic charting system. Does not have to be Hyperspace/supplied by the EPIC corporation to be called this.

Hey, could you put those vitals in EPIC for me since you’re already logged in?

Bed 45/46-2/47-1/48/etc…: how we refer to patients, by their bedspace number, denoted “room-bed”.

Hey Nikki, do you remember what 45-2′s blood sugar was?

Assignment: The patients any one particular medical professional has responsibility for- be they a nurse, doctor, aide, respiratory therapist, physical therapist, etc…

My assignment is rooms 43-45, how about you?

The Board: Where the status of the patients on your floor get listed, including who is to be discharged, who has certain needs, and the day’s expected admissions. Used to be a physical white board, but now is electronic. Usually used to talk about how many patients a floor is about to admit.

“Jeeze, did you see they just put four new patients on our board? We’ve already got 16- call the nursing supervisor.”

Flexed up: Taking more patients than you’re staffed for on a floor

Well, we’re staffed for 15, but they ‘found’ three more bedspaces so they’re flexing us up tonight.

Code/Call a code/They’re coding: A Code Blue. When a patient’s heart stops on The Floor and everyone shows up to practice CPR and transfer them to The Unit.

They’re coding, get a crash cart to 75-2 and call a code blue

Rapid/Call a rapid/Rapid response team: Almost a code, but their heart is still beating. For hospitals who have a separate “Rapid Response” nursing team. Two Crit Care nurses show up and handle things. Also who you call if you and everyone else on your floor can’t get an IV.

They have an INR of 9.5 and the doc doesn’t want to do anything- I’m gonna call a rapid.

Float/they’re floating you: When you don’t have enough patients on your floor so the nursing supervisor sends you to a different, unfamiliar one.

They’re making me float to 9C. Again. Can you believe that??

Full: Can’t take any more patients, either due to physical space or nursing staff.

Tell the nursing supervisor to stop putting patients on our board- we’re full

Clinic: Outpatient. Where you want your patients to be.

Tell them we’ll see them in Clinic in three days. They have no medical need to be here anymore and they know it.

KINDS OF PATIENTS:

Contacts/isolations: Any patients who’s rooms you have to don a gown, gloves, mask, and/or respirator to enter.

Are you sh*tting me? I have five patients today and four of them are isolations.

Frequent flyer- Someone who, for medical or social reasons, just can’t seem to stay out of the hospital

Did you hear Darlene is back?” “Yeah, we’re officially engraving her name on the Frequent Flyer wall of fame

Crump/Crumpy/Crumper: Colloquial term for patients who are medically unstable/at a lower level of care than they need/will be transferred to The Unit when a bed becomes available or when the inevitably code, whichever comes first.

73′s a crumper if I’ve ever seen one. Rapid’s in there working her now.

‘Seeker: Someone in the hospital with their own agenda, but who largely has no medical need to be there and will threaten to sign out AMA (even though they’ve been discharged four times and keep refusing to go) if they don’t get what they want- be it drugs, social interaction, or over-the-top waitressing. Will probably threaten to give a horrible review of the hospital on their social media platform of choice and mention you by name if they don’t get what they want.

49′s a total seeker. When she’s not begging for pain meds, you’re getting her crackers, juice, tea, hot packs, cold packs, everything you could think of. I didn’t sit down all night and my other patients slept pretty much the whole night. Give her some percocet and get her the hell out of here before I have to deal with her again tonight.

Heavy: A patient that takes up a disproportionate amount of your time, but usually for a legitimate reason.

Dr. P’s patients are really heavy. Something’s always going on with them and they have tubes coming out of everywhere that need care of some kind every hour… I had two of his patients today and I’m so tired… could we break up the assignment for the next shift please?

HOSPITAL PLACES:

The Floor: Medical and Surgical floors, sometimes specialty floors- basically anywhere that’s not the ED, Psych, or The Unit. These have higher staffing ratios (more patients per nurse) and lower patient acuity than The Unit

They didn’t really need a bed on the Unit so they were transferred to the Floor

The Unit: The Intensive Care Unit. Where crumpy patients go, comes in the following flavors (though smaller hospitals may have just one): MICU (medical), SICU (surgical), PICU (pediatric), TICU (trauma), NICU (neonatal), NICU (neurological), BICU (burn), and Stepdown (in the days after an ICU discharge).

They weren’t doing so hot, so we called a rapid and had them sent to The Unit.

The ED: The Emergency Department. Oh dear lord it is not called the ER.

They’re sending up that new admit from the ED in like 5 mins, do you have the room ready?

PACU: Post Anesthesia Care Unit, where people are stabilized after surgery.

PACU’s calling again, they’re backing up and need to give report.” 

THE NURSING HIERARCHY:

Director of Nursing: One Nurse to rule them all. Directs all facets of nursing, from training to hiring to staffing to quality improvement.

Nursing Supervisor: One nurse to rule them all… on a given shift. The nursing supervisor assigns patients to nursing units and makes sure everywhere is staffed accordingly.

Nurse Manager: In charge of the general staffing and personnel management of a particular floor, including scheduling, patient satisfaction, staff development, and service recovery.

Charge Nurse/Charge: The “shift manager” of nursing. Has final say on a lot of things you don’t want to be the bad guy on, as well as creating assignments/checking the crash cart, and submitting service requests when the nurse manager isn’t there. Also has a patient assignment.

Staff nurse: The nurses who do assessments, pass meds, start IVs, carry out orders, give updates to doc’s, chart, manage a patient’s day, make sure they get to tests/procedures on time with the right paperwork, and are overall responsible for managing patient care and providing first-line response to issues that arise throughout the shift.

Nurse Aide/Nurse Tech: Provides the majority of basic patient care. Counts intake and output, gets blood sugars and vital signs, sets up rooms for new admits, cleans and clothes patients, gets blood and urine samples, transports patients if necessary. Staff nurses are responsible for this when aides/techs are not available.

Would someone please add the Medical Hierarchy if you know it? I don’t feel I know it well enough to do it justice. Thanks!

lord-catto  asked:

Before their wedding Yuuri and Viktor go to a fortune teller just for fun and stuff and the fortune teller says they predict death. This freaks Viktor out but Yuuri doesn't really care and just manages to calm him down about the situation. Then a few days after their wedding when Yuuri and Viktor are in their bed together Viktor suddenly wakes up and shakes Yuuri awake and whisper screams "THE FORTUNE TELLER MEANT THE DEATH OF A BACHELOR, OH MY GOD YUURI".

LMAO HE’S SHOOK

home sweet home; andreil
  • I can’t help but think a lot about Neil and Andrew just doing domestic, mundane, couple things.
  • Neil and Andrew at the grocery store. Neil noticing Andrew’s stocking up on all the sugary foods and beverages he can get his hands on, so he wanders off to the veggies and health food aisles to make sure Andrew balances his diet. “No more ice cream breakfasts, okay?” Neil says, when Andrew just shoots him a blank stare, Neil shrugs. “Don’t look at me like that, I’m just trying to keep your inevitable risk of diabetes at bay.” Andrew barely blinks. “You’re diabetes,” he mumbles. At this, Neil breaks into a small, slightly teasing smile, “Besides, I want you to cook for me.” “And I want you to shut up,” Andrew replies, dryly. “I guess neither of us are going to get what we want.” Despite this, slowly, steadily, Andrew does start improving his eating habits, and when he realizes that Neil is a disaster with an electric lighter after he almost burns down their kitchen twice, Andrew begins cooking for him on the regular. Neil always ends up staring at him while he cooks, and Andrew pretends like it doesn’t affect him, like it doesn’t make him hyperaware of his every move. Bee suggests new recipes to him every weekend, and Andrew begins to cook so surprisingly often that Neil would never dare say it aloud, but he swears that Andrew might actually be enjoying it.
  • Neil gives Andrew a shoulder massage on the really bad days and distracts his mind with talks of the latest additions to the Fox lineup and how he thinks they need to up their game if they want to succeed. This is new. This feels new. Andrew is not used to this sort of thing and has trouble at first, tensing up against Neil’s touch almost immediately, and so Neil knows to be extra careful. This is alien territory for both of them because Neil has never known how to be gentle and Andrew has never known gentleness, but it turns out that Neil’s really good with his hands. Eventually, Andrew leans his head back against Neil’s stomach as he kneads the tension out of his muscles and just lets go. It’s difficult at first, because the last time Andrew allowed himself to be this defenseless, this bodily loose and relaxed… No. This was different. This was Neil. Neil would cross himself out a thousand times over at even the mere idea of hurting him. He was okay. He was… He was safe. After giving him a massage, Neil leans in to kiss Andrew’s neck, but before he has the chance, Andrew’s already flipped him over and straddling him, “Yes or no?” he mumbles gruffly, but Neil’s already choking out a hoarse, breathless fuck yes as Andrew runs his hands up his arms and entwines their fingers before entrapping him under his body with a vehement, sealing kiss that leaves them both gasping for breath. 
  • Andrew falling ill with the flu and insisting that he doesn’t get sick, even as he’s coughing up his lungs and running a high fever. Neil doesn’t buy into his bullshit for one second and insists on dragging him to the doctor’s office. That’s when Andrew quietly admits his loathing of doctors, stemming from a general distrust of society and never having been to one before. Whenever he got sick before, he would just take care of it on his own. And then he had Abby. Neil insists that despite Abby’s qualifications, Andrew needed to go see a real doctor. Neil successfully wears him down and they end up visiting the doctor together. In the waiting room, Andrew is crushing Neil’s hand so tight Neil knows it’s going to leave a bruise. Neil doesn’t care. He managed to convince Andrew to make the trip. That’s all that matters.
  • Whenever the Foxes come to visit them, Andrew cleans out the entire house. Makes sure every surface is scrubbed and not a thing is out of place. He makes them all take their shoes off at the doorstep and warns Nicky he’ll make him bleed if he hoists his legs up on the recently polished coffee table.
  • Andrew and Neil working out together, and Neil once again, being flabbergasted by just how much weight this boy can lift. It feels like some strange metaphor for all of Neil’s baggage he took at face value and handled like a rock. “You’re staring again,” Andrew points out, sitting there in a muscle t-shirt, his skin slick with sweat, his blond tufts pulled back by a thin black bandana, performing a 180kg deadlift like it’s practically nothing. “Yeah,” Neil manages. “Get used to it already.”
  • The two of them getting away for the weekend from everyone and everything. Driving, driving, halting at terribly lit gas stations in the middle of nowhere to buy cigarettes and soda, star-gazing on the roof of the Maserati, Andrew knowing every constellation by heart, Neil gaping at him in quiet, captivated awe. The two of them falling asleep in dingy motel rooms after making messy love. The comfort in the little things and just purely enjoying one another’s existence, one another’s presence. Neil’s head on Andrew’s shoulder, Andrew pressing a kiss to the pulse point of Neil’s throat, Neil fiddling with Andrew’s hair, Andrew shivering when Neil bites promises into his neck, Andrew’s hands underneath Neil’s shirt, killing his scars with his kisses.
  • Listen I could go on forever but I need to STOP.
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I wanna tell you a story

This is a story of how assholes in the workplace can fuck with ADA compliance

Let me make this pretty fucking clear, first as a prologue to this story A disability isn’t just the actual thing wrong with you. It’s the anxiety that goes along with being stuck, the fear of having an episode, the constant stress of avoiding an episode, the difficulties of adapting to the environment. It’s also pain management, moderating how much you do in a shift, and so on. It is also the emotional trauma that comes with the physical disability.

Let me tell you about myself. I have very limited vision. I fake being sighted very well because I knew what it was like to have sight. But I’ve been mostly blind now for almost 22 years. It gets worse every year as I age. I have constant difficulty adapting. So if my phone (which I use as a visual aid) starts to die, it upsets me. If I get disoriented, it can trigger anxiety attacks. If the light is too bright, or I don’t have my sunglasses, or I simply have a bad day, it triggers a migraine. Those migraines are physically debilitating. My immune system has a hair trigger. Stress triggers all sorts of horrible attacks from skin to lung. And then there’s the emotional frustration and suffering that goes with this.

But never mind that shit. It’s shit you can’t see, right, so it must not be real. I deal with it, because I know how insensitive able-bodied people can be. I put up with it and I manage it, but sometimes I can’t anymore, and I just need a fucking break. But when that happens, because I seldom mention it, people treat me as if I’m hysterical. I’m not. I just need my fifteen minutes of silence where someone isn’t telling me how to live. So yeah, I don’t often talk about my disability unless it comes up and has something to do with physically being able to do my job. I’ve never had a job I couldn’t do, if some minor changes were made, and I always had great employers who helped make those changes. However…it’s not just the place and the way things are done that need alteration. Sometimes it’s the people too.

And now we are to the story.

I used to have this job that involved me being out on a floor, chatting to people. Anyway, I got into a conversation with one of my coworkers while we were just sitting there, and I mentioned that I have bad vision.

She was stunned. “What do you mean?”

“I mean, I’m legally blind. It’s a long story.”

And it’s one I like to avoid telling in this kind of environment, but the trouble is, once you’ve said that you have a disability, able people want to fucking push. They want to test you, or they’re curious, and they feel they have the right to know, and so by god you better tell them, or you’re obviously a liar. And yeah, you can say to yourself that that isn’t what you’re doing, but it is a story you’re telling yourself to feel better. To the person receiving that kind of treatment, it’s insensitive, intrusive, and can actually trigger symptoms.

It’s like if you discuss your condition you give up the right to have boundaries. I now know how to say to people, “you don’t have the right to know that about me, and right now you’re triggering my anxiety by reminding me of all the fucking doctors visits I had to sit through where they injected me with dye that caused anaphylaxis and stabbed needles into my eye,” but at the time of this story, I didn’t know what to say, besides answering the question.

So I gave a very shortened version of why I am legally blind. She kept questioning me. Can I drive, can I read, can I this, can I that? But what about all the times I’ve seen you do this, or that, or whatever? Did you try eating kale, did you try this, did you try that? I finally said, “I went to some of the best specialists on earth for over six years. I’m just a freak of nature, and you’re actually making me really uncomfortable right now.”

This was because her questions had become hostile, judgemental, and disrespectful. She assumed that because my condition is idiopathic (unknown cause), it must not be real. She assumed that because she’d seen me look at things, I must be able to see them. She acted on that idea by being aggressive, acting as if she knows more about the human eye than I do. You want to know about how much I know about the human eye?

When I was in high school, I was in AP anatomy (I had to have a dedicated lab partner to dissect things for me, because you don’t want a blind person holding a scalpel, but that was fine). When the segment on the eye came along…my teacher asked me to teach the class..cold. No preparation. He did this because I had been getting picked on for my condition, and he wanted to show that my condition made me stronger. I walked up to the transparency machine, and I taught the fucking class. Not just an in-depth explanation of the anatomy of the eye, but the way it works, how the brain processes it, the various dysfunctions it can have, and then people began asking how my vision worked, and for the first time, I got to explain to my class (the same people who knew me BEFORE I lost my vision) how I see.

By the end of that hour, kids understood, and they never made fun of me again.

That’s how much I have known about the eye since I was 15 years old. And here’s this fucking woman, insinuating that I am making more out of it than it is, telling me I probably have too alkaline a diet, or this that and the other.

I finally said to her, “This is really bothering me, can we change the subject?”

She says “Did you go to a priest?”

“Excuse me?”

“Well, doctors don’t know anything. Did you go to a priest and pray?”

“I’m an atheist, and I don’t think any of this is your business.”

“Well, that’s your problem. You didn’t pray enough. That’s why you’re sick and why your eyes don’t work.”

You didn’t pray enough.

I looked her right in the place where her eye would be if I could see her fucking face and said, “At the time this happened, I was 14. My step father was a minister and I went to church every Sunday. I’m an atheist because my illness brought up a lot of issues and never offered anything but fear. Are you seriously going to sit there and tell me that I was sick because I didn’t pray?”

And you know what she said to me? “You obviously were a sinner then and never repented.” And then…

THEN..

She starts singing a fucking hymn at me.

I got up, shaking with rage, I walked over to my boss and explained that I was leaving. She asked why, was going to argue with me that my shift wasn’t up, except that she saw me and understood that if I didn’t leave, i was going to hurt someone. I told her that I had just been treated so badly, it was actually causing me to have hives (which it was), and that I knew I was going to have a migraine very soon. I didn’t wait for her to answer. I just left. I walked down the street to a store and called my best friend Angela. Angela is the daughter of an ex-priest (who came out and married a man) and a nun (who also has a chronic illness) and when Angela was born, she had a rare heart defect that resulted in a massive stroke at the age of 1. She has had FIVE open heart surgeries to rebuild and repair her heart. She is chronically ill in ways I cannot imagine. She is also intelligent, caring, manages a support network and charity for people with heart conditions, helps raise my niece, and oh yeah…is religious, but the kind of religious I like because she really lives by the words.

When I told her what this woman did to me, she was absolutely speechless. The fact that anyone would say a child deserved to be given a horrible illness and suffer, because they were a sinner and needed to beg for forgiveness is fucking gross. If that’s how her god operates, fuck him. If that’s how grace functions, then fucking count me out.

I spent two hours sitting on a park bench, shaking from head to toe, in pain, my skin reacting to the stress with welts and hives. Within about thirty minutes, I got my migraine warnings. These happen to me whenever I am under serious stress, because my blood pressure increases, and when this happens, it puts pressure into my eye. This causes a chain reaction. I finally made it home, and quit that job two weeks later, because every time I had to work with that woman, it gave me the most horrible anxiety.

I kept expecting her to try and bless me, or demand I go to her priest, or try and tell me that I should stop taking my medications, or mock me, or call me a sinner. Tell me I was going to hell…because obviously sickness is a sign of sin. And she low key did, and that was enough, but the anticipation of having to see her every day…that’s what killed me.

SO GET THIS THROUGH YOUR FUCKING HEADS ABLE-BODIED PEOPLE

A disability isn’t just the physical problem. It’s the PTSD of dealing with operations, doctors, interrogations, tests, surgeries, and on and on. It’s pain management and exhaustion. It’s depression and frustration. It’s anxiety triggered by people being insensitive pricks (and in my case, the triggering of my immune system when under stress). It’s the constant strain of trying to adapt and perform as well as others. It’s the constant worry that someone will behave toward you in a way that is condescending, and that you will have to fight, once again, to be treated fairly.

THAT’S A FUCKING DISABILITY.

Imagine what you might feel if I took your arm away. Imafine what you’d feel if a person made fun of you, told you to get over it, told you that you didn’t pray enough. Now imagine it’s a disability they can’t see. How do they act? Like you’re a fucking liar who makes shit up to get attention. And they treat you like that too. I can’t tell you how many stories I’ve heard from people who have told me that when their co-workers found out they had a disability, people were told to get out, to quit, were harassed, had equipment sabotaged…

So when you make your workplace ADA compliant, think about the people you have on your team and handle that shit too. Get rid of employees or contractors who are going to destroy the productivity of a disabled worker, because I can fucking promise you something: if you don’t, it will cost you. I was damn good at that job. When I left, my boss begged me not to. She even offered to fire the other girl, but by then I was already so over the job and the people and the place, that it was way more trouble than I could handle. I was better at my job than she was, and because of her bullshit, my boss lost a good employee, and then eventually fired the other one too. Disabled people have more fucking work ethic than you can imagine. Can you even comprehend what it takes me to live on a daily basis? It’s WORK. And If I can work through life AND work through your shitty job, you’re going to really be pissed if I leave.

Disabled people can contribute, but they need those around them to grasp what they’re dealing with. It’s not about pity. It’s not about going easy on us. We can handle difficulty, because we do every day. It’s about being mindful and decent. It’s about having fucking common sense.

So maybe I should add to my list of ways to deal with partially sighted or blind people DON’T FUCKING SING HYMNS OVER THEM OR SUGGEST GOD PUNISHED THEM FOR NOT PUTTING THEIR BIKE AWAY BY STRIKING THEM DOWN WITH BLINDNESS.

Hold The Line

(x, x)

Characters- Dean x Reader 

Summary- Dean comes back from Purgatory a changed man, and things between he and the reader shift from friends to something more.

Word Count- 9,415 (**laughs maniacally, ripping her hair out all the while**)

Warnings- Longform NSFW Smut (chest worship, fingering, a hint of sub!Dean, definite rugburn, fluffy sex), language, protective! Dean, and Dean angst in regards to early season 8 events.

A/N- This takes place in season 8, mostly at Rufus’ old cabin. I know the cabin doesn’t have a fireplace, but we’ll pretend it’s right next to the tv. Cool? Cool. Title is taken from the Toto song of the same name. Again, thanks to everyone for being patient with me while I wrote this one. Super special thanks to @jpadjackles for helping with my plot bunnies, and @winchestersinthedrift for the lovely smut writing advice that I hope I did some justice with. Part of @curliesallovertheplace’s Celebration Challenge and @sis-tafics and @eyes-of-a-disney-princess’ Have a Hubba Bubba Birthday Writing Challenge. The prompts were “What if Dean is a cuddler?” and “The One With All The Kissing”.

(Blockquoted sections are flashbacks)


Each bump in the road has you shifting in your seat, the old chevy truck’s shit suspension making your butt numb with vibrations. You check your watch and, yep. You’re making really good time. You should be with the way you’re speeding on the blacktop, mile markers flying past.

Your phone lights up, the man consuming your idle thoughts’ face smiling up at you from the screen. Him and his stupid pretty face. It’s funny the way you could just as easily kiss said stupid face as you could punch it. And you wanted to kiss it. A lot.

You flip open your phone, “Dean?”

“Hey, you almost here?”

You fight to stifle a laugh. “Impatient much, Winchester?”

Keep reading

sugar ❖ sehun

“You weren’t good at describing things, but if someone asked you what Mina’s dad looked like, you would have probably said ‘a first love’.”

admin : - velvet
genre : fluff, smut (in later parts), pretty huge age gap, kinda daddyish, ceo!sehun, angst

(gif not mine, cr to the owner)

| Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Epilogue


No way❞ you mumbled as you checked your phone again. The place where you were smelled like fried food and strawberry milkshake, your best friend Mina was playing a game on her phone as she drank her iced peach tea down, the music playing in the background was some Halsey thing that you already heard, but weren’t quite sure of the title. The light in that cafe were neon pinkish and everything felt kind of fake, from the plants to the smiles on the waitresses faces.

If you just stop for a second❞ Mina mumbled taking her eyes away from her cellphone and looking at you. You snapped your head at her, taking your eyes from your phone too and giving her an exasperated expression.

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nytimes.com
Foiled in Congress, Trump Signs Order to Undermine Obamacare
President Trump issued an order on Thursday to allow the sale of health insurance plans that are exempt from some Affordable Care Act coverage rules.
By Robert Pear and Reed Abelson

Meanwhile, in politics:  the party that railed against executive orders in the previous administration now supports a president going against the will of the people via executive orders. 

4

Brett Talbot x Fem!Reader x Liam Dunbar


Warnings: Mature content, sexual content, masturbating, nsfw.
Word count: 1 265


A/N: I’m sorry this is so long and it takes a while before coming to the juicy stuff, but I fell in love with the idea and quite enjoyed writing this.


Also, I’d once again like to thank @pissheadofficial, for providing me with her NEEDS and ideas. This is actually from another idea that she requested from another member, but where Brett is replaced with Mason.



Keep reading

So yeah, I was thinking...

What would the campers do in the future? When they grow up?

Nikki: Would certainly not settle down, she would either have her own zoo or her own youtube channel where she does incredible dangerous stuff. “LOOK AT ME WHEN I PET THIS POLAR BEAR WHILE I’M ON FIRE AND ALSO JUGGLING”

Neil: Would most likely be a professor in physics or chemistry, something sciency at least. Most likely he’ll discover something big and end up getting the Nobel Prize. (His dad brings Sockrates to the dinner, and entertains both the king and the queen. David is there too, being SO PROUD)

Nerris: Writes a fantasy novel. An amazing one. I can feel it. She loves it, especially when she sees kids passionately cosplay as her characters. 

Harrison: Gets his own show in Las Vegas. His parents are worried that he’ll accidentally blow up the city. He doens’t instead, he takes apprentices who also mysteriously have made their brothers disappear. 

Nurf: Goes through a lot og shit, but eventually gets together with Chris. Dunno what he’s going to work with, perhaps he’ll just be a stay-at-home dad. 

Ered: Becomes that cool teacher who knows weirdly little about her subject, but yet is respected because she skates better than anyone. 

Preston: Lots of lots of failed attempts to enter the broadway scene, both as an actor or a playwriter, until he gets enough and starts his own theatre. Despite what Neil would have predicted it becomes a success.

Dolph: Becomes that weird guy people don’t really trust. Is he a nazi? Or is he just really weird? Makes weird art that doesn’t sell, but he doesn’t really care. 

Astro kid: gets to work for NASA. If it is a janitor or just an atronaut I don’t really know, but I have a feeling that Astro kid is going to be so happy anyway because SPACE.

Max: This is a hard one… But maybe he ends up running something like a campcamp? A camp for kids whose parents doesn’t care? It surprises everyone, but maybe he’s the right for it because he knows how it feels. David comes by of course, and Gwen too, and they’re kind of surprised because it isn’t a catastrophe… the kids they like it! He manages to care for them and they actually feel better. Sometimes the other campers drops by, hosting a one day “adventure camp” or “space camp” or “magic camp”… 

((This got longer than intended, hope you don’t mind… Have a nice day anyway))

anonymous asked:

Can you please write a scenario about gabe defending his timid and kinda small gf from overwatch agents that made her cry? Thank you

“No, Gabe, please-”

Your boyfriend currently had his hand around an agent’s neck, fingers digging into his flesh. Your hand reached out to try and grab Gabriel’s black hoody, only to have toned arms wrap around your waist from behind, stilling you instantly.

“Better let him do it, sweetpea.”

You struggled against the southerner, your hand coming up to brush away droplets from your tear stained, bruised cheek. Blood stained your fingers, wiping them on your skirt. To say you were annoyed at how you weren’t as tall or strong as the other agents was an understatement. It was nice to be embraced and protected by Gabe, but when it came to standing up for yourself it was kind of pathetic.

“Jesse, get off me.”
“(Y/N), you’ll get hurt if go over there ‘nd then Reyes’ll have my behind too.”

A solid thud cut your conversation short as the agent who had been abusing you was now splayed out on the floor, your boyfriend hovering menacingly over him. A group of other, younger agents had grouped around, trying to verbally defend the one on the floor.

“Anyone else?”

Silence.

“Good. Get this shit outta my sight, and if I so much as hear a breath in (Y/N)’s direction, you’ll all be in the depths of hell before you know it.”

Jesse rest his head on top of yours, a deep sigh coming from his chest.

“C'mon, he’s gonna be in a foul mood.”
“I don’t care.”

You managed to wriggle your way out from your best friend’s grasp, limping slightly over to your boyfriend. Your hand gingerly touched his arm, making him spin around.

“Gabe-”
“Get her to Ziegler.”

His eyes didn’t meet yours, instead directing themselves over to McCree’s.

“I still need to teach these ingrates a lesson.”

A firm hand grasped around yours, dragging you away from the crowd. You stuttered, trying to say something to Gabe before you went through the doors to Angela’s office.

You were laid down on top of the pristine white sheets, arms crossed over your chest. No matter how many times you had said you were fine, Angela and Jesse would not leave your side until the Blackwatch Commander permmitted them to. The air hung thick with tense awkwardness. Angela was scribbling on her clipboard and Jesse seemed very interested with cleaning his hat. Your eyes were on the door, purple and blue slowly forming in your peripheral vision.

To be fair, you had taken quite a beating from the bastard. He kept on going on about how you got special treatment because you were ‘sleeping with the Blackwatch Commander’, to put it nicely. Your personality meant you’d tried to fight back, only to be given a black eye, cut cheek and lip and a sprained ankle. If Gabriel and Jesse hadn’t come along when they did.. You don’t know. Tears still streamed down your cheeks, no matter how hard you tried to stop them. You felt useless. Being in Overwatch and not even able to defend yourself.

You perked up when the doors opened and in walked Gabriel. Both Angela and Jesse stood up sporting strained smiles.

“How is she?”
“Fine. Bruising along the cheekbone, a few cuts here and there and a swollen ankle. Nothing some rest won’t heal.”

Gabriel nodded. The pair took that as their cue to leave, reassuring looks passed in your direcrion.

You uncrossed your arms and fiddled with your fingers, eyes now downcast from his intense gaze. The bed dipped slightly from his weight where he perched, his large hand covering both of yours.

“I’m sorry, Gabe.”
“Why are you sorry? You did nothing.”
“Exactly. I did nothing. I work at Overwatch and I can’t even fight back.”
“That’s because you’re not an agent. You’re my assistant.”
“Still, getting my ass kicked in front of everyone isn’t-”
“(Y/N). What he did was cowardly. It was an easy win for him until I came along.”

You sighed, head drooping down further.

“Let me train you.”
“What?”

Your head perked up, him now reaching up to caress away a tear.

“If you’re worried, let me train you. I’m not always going to be here to protect you.”

Your eyes looked into his chocolate pools. He wasn’t joking. You nodded hesitantly. He squeezed your hands in reassurance.

“I hate seeing you hurt.”
“I hate being hurt.”

 A gentle kiss was placed on your forehead. He loved you, and you loved him.

How to Start a Self-Care Bullet Journal

Hello journalers! This post is going to explain how to begin a bullet journal that will help you take care of yourself and manage your mental/physical health. I will go in depth and share various ideas to add to this kind of journal. 

How To Start: 

1. Like all bullet journals, make sure you have a journal that fits your needs. Dot grid, square grid, blank page, or lined are the options for basically all journals. Pick one that you can see yourself using for a while and that will conform to your needs. 

2. Make an outline on a separate piece of paper of the things you want in your self-care journal. Nothing is more cringe-worthy in my bullet journals is when I get lazy on design and layout. Figure out which lists, trackers, challenges, and calendars you will need. 

3. Start like you would with a normal bullet journal with the index. My rule is that I need to have 3 pages for my index, otherwise I run out of room to keep track of my pages and I get overwhelmed. 

Things To Add:

1. Future Plans/Goals

Pump yourself up for the future! You are going to accomplish many incredible feats during your lifetime, but it helps to take the first step and actually write down your goals and plans. I have two resources for you for this section. [Here] is a post about Goal Oriented Pages. Here is a picture of my bucketlist from my last bullet journal:

2. Fitness Log

If you are ready to get in shape or just be healthy, this is something you really need to stay motivated or keep track of your exercising habits. You can add checklists, hydration logs, running countdowns, etc. 

3. Daily Affirmations

When dealing with stress, mental health, and anything else that can get you feeling less than the amazing person you are, it’s good to remind yourself how truly fantastic you are. Here is a [link] to my 30-Day Affirmation Challenge. 

4. Gratitude Log

Being thankful for what you have will give you so much peace in your life. If you’d like some ideas for yours, click [here] for my 30-Day Gratitude Challenge.

5. Things That Make You Happy

List everything that makes you remotely happy and keep adding things as you go through your life. Below is my first journal that had my “Things I Love” page. It got filled so fast. 

6. Meditation Diary

I honestly loved this idea and used it like crazy. [Here] is a link to how I set my diary up. 

7. Habit Trackers

Keeping track of your actions will always help you feel at peace and there are many different kinds of habit trackers out there: medicine, sleep, reading, exercise, etc. If you’d like to be even more motivated for getting things done, [here] is a link to my Habit Tracker Reward System. 

8. Alternatives to Self-Destructive Acts

Many of us have negative habits that can be more extreme than others. But even the smallest self-destructive act will have a huge negative effect on your life. Here is a list of some ideas to do instead of thinking bad things or hurting yourself: do a puzzle, go exercise, take a nap, listen to music, watch funny videos, watch a movie, write, make lists, color a picture, bake something, etc.

9. When I Feel Triggered…

Anything can make us recall traumatic events, toxic people, or just make us feel anxious. Make a short list of maybe 5-10 things you can do to help yourself calm back down. 

10. All About Me

Writing and doodling things that represent yourself can be very therapeutic. I made a post about this recently that can be found [here].  

11. Self-Care Ideas/Me Time

Sometimes we don’t know how to make ourselves feel better. Write a list of things you could try to do to help yourself become a healthier you. Examples: take a warm bath, go for a walk, drink a glass of water, watch a sad movie, etc. You can also make a page to keep track of how long each task you complete and where you completed it. 

12. A Year In Pixels

I did not come up with this idea, but [here] is a post about where I found it and a picture of my page.

I found a few more ideas, but you can check this [link] for 100 more! 

Only You

Originally posted by dazzlingkai

Request: can i request a scenario where vampire!baek loves you but he also loves another girl so you had enough of him and left him but he ends up finding you. Happy ending pls thank you!!!

Genre: Vampire!AU / Angst / Fluff

Member: Baekhyun

Masterlist


You were tired of it. Tired of feeling like you weren’t enough for him. For Baekhyun.

You’ve been like this for far too long now and you were sick of it. 

You knew Baekhyun loved you a lot. He made sure that he showed you that, but you weren’t the only one that had his love and it hurt you so much that sometimes you felt like you couldn’t even breathe. Yet you had stayed by his side for so long in hopes that maybe one day you would be the only one in his eyes. 

But it seemed like life wasn’t fair enough to give you what you wanted most.

Each night you would anxiously wait in hopes that it would be you that Baekhyun would be seeing instead of her. 

However, there is only so much heartbreak and disappointment that one can take and everybody reaches a breaking point. This was yours. 

Keep reading

I am tired of seeing medical professionals, predominantly nurses, vilified for proper prioritization/time management.
(I also see you, doctor friends of mine! But I am not one so I cannot make a lengthy post about it)

In a shift at the hospital, and in the mind of a nurse, tasks are separated into categories:

Emergent- codes, rapid responses, critical lab values/vitals, change in patient condition that requires immediate intervention, falls, chest pain, shortness of air

Urgent- time sensitive medication (lots fall into this category,) acute wound care, abnormal labs that require time-sensitive intervention, abnormal vitals, suction/chest tube/trach care, pain management

Important- general patient care like bathing, changing, other hygiene, ambulation, phone calls, routine consults, routine labs

These are by no means exhaustive lists, but it gives you an idea of what the nurses/medical team are having to sift through with every single patient of theirs.

Believe me, almost EVERY nurse I know (and I know a lot of us) would get every last thing on these lists done with complete proficiency at exactly the right time every shift…if we could.

But we can’t.

And I get it…I am a BIG proponent of recognizing that hospitalized individuals have heightened emotions secondary to the uncertainty and vulnerability that comes with a hospitalization. This is why I do my absolute best to treat with tenderness as I interact with every patient and cater my care to their needs. And I won’t disclose to my patient WHY I arrive to bathe them an hour and a half later than I had originally said…it is not their fault, or their problem, nor is disclosure appropriate.
But unless they hear “Code Blue” announced overhead, I often get met with anger. They assume I could not have been doing anything emergent, though many emergent things that we do are not announced on the intercom.

And, sorry to be harsh, but your bath fell to the bottom of my list when another nurse called out for help as her patient began to decline, or fell out of bed, or lost their IV access…

(Please, spare me your stories as you try to tell me not every nurse is well-intentioned…“but but but I had an ACTUALLY bad nurse that…”
Sure. Sure you did. And if he or she were actually “bad,” then they ARE NOT the subject of this post. And if they are genuinely neglectful/abusive, they will hopefully/likely lose licensure.)

I am talking about the honest, diligent nurses…
I am talking about the new nurse, who is learning prioritization and time management, but tasks take a little longer…
I am talking about the nurse who would multiply him/herself if they could and be in every room at once…

So, next time you are hospitalized, allow us to be human, and do YOUR best to realize that we are doing OUR best. We know you are sick. We know you are hurting. We want to help; we are doing our best.

(And for the love of all that is holy, don’t get mad if we take a lunch break)