care lockwood

my relationship with vampire diaries at this point:

‘Skull!’ I ran over to the jar, pulled it upright. The top of the lid showed scuffs and other signs of damage. 'What have they done to you?’ I cleared my throat and scowled. 'Not that I care, obviously.’
— 

Lucy Carlyle, The Creeping Shadow

-Jonathan Stroud

So you know how in The Screaming Staircase, Lucy mentioned that <i>“Showing signs of fear is best avoided where Visitors are concerned - fear, anger, and <b>other strong emotions.</b>”</i> She said how they feed on those emotions and make them stronger.

Then remember the first time Lucy met Quill Kipps? How he warned her to be careful around Lockwood because <i>“bad things happen to people he’s close to”</i> and this has been happening ever since he was ever so young?

Now imagine Lockwood feeling fear not for himself - because really, how many times has Lucy described him just bodily flinging himself into danger and adventure - but for the people he loves, those he cares for, his <i>friends</i>.

Now imagine him constantly battling this fear because he knows Visitors feed on this kind of negative feeling. And that would make them stronger. And that would put all of them in danger.

Imagine him blaming his own fear and anxiety every time something bad happens to any of his friends. Imagine him thinking <i>if only I had been braver if only I had thought clearer if only I had acted better if only I hadn’t been clouded by my own fears if only if only if only</i>

Now remember when Flo met up with Lucy and George in… The Hollow Boy, I think. She’d asked her about Lockwood’s new assistant and had told Lucy not to worry about it because the fact that she’s still alive means that Lockwood <i>must care about her a great deal.

What if what Flo and Kipps had actually meant was that Lockwood cared too much?

What if he can’t help but feel <i>other strong emotions</i> when he finds those he cares for in danger?

What if what Flo implied was that with Lucy, Lockwood was desperate not to let any of his <i>other strong emotions</i> get the better of him in order to keep her safe?

What if he actually knows that he has to trust her and her capabilities and trust that these would keep her safe without him having to worry and constantly fear about what’s going to happen?

Maybe this is why he constantly tells Lucy how much he trusts her and her capabilities. He was assuring himself, too.

idk man imagine Lockwood trying so hard to be brave despite himself