care farms

(A table of contents is available. This series will remain open for additional posts and the table of contents up-to-date as new posts are added.)

Part Four: Writing Travel With Non-Humans

If a list were made of the top mistakes made by–particularly fantasy–writers, surely travel, travel times, distances, and the needs of animals during that travel would be right up there. Consider for a moment that Frodo and Sam’s journey took approximately 6 months to get from the Shire to Mount Doom. But Pear, you say, it’s not like they were walking that whole time! They stayed in Rivendell for two months after he agrees to take the ring! And of course, you’d be right, but consider that they are two days in Moria, and it takes the group 7 days to get from Bree to Weathertop, a time frame which was just travel, for the most part. Take a look at it on a map:

And now consider the entirety of the world map:

Taking into consideration breaks for eating and sleeping, difficult terrain, horses, boats, and walking, Tolkien did a fairly good job of making sure the travel times for his world were accurate or at least plausible.

Now consider that 30 miles is the maximum a human can walk in a day without stops and without considering gear, and it’s more accurate to guesstimate ~10-15 miles. It’s ~40 miles from Washington DC to Baltimore, Maryland and can be driven in ~1 hour. Now consider that roads and highways have turned difficult terrain into easily navigable areas, and that cars have drastically lengthened how far and how long we can travel. A team of horses pulling a carriage can expect approximately 50 miles over an 8-12 hour day. A horse will tire from a gallop after approximately 3 miles, but could trot 15 miles without too much strain as long as a few breaks to walk were interspersed. It’s been recorded that on one particular journey, a horse averaged 31 miles per day, though 20 is a more reasonable. (I haven’t put anything regarding companions with wings due to severe variability. Migrating Alpine swifts have been known to fly 200 days straight while other birds don’t even really glide very well. If your companion has wings, do very thorough research into wing bones and strength and do your best.) My point is: We don’t go as far as we think we do, and neither do our creature companions unless we care for them properly.

Long story short, distance matters.

When you’re trying to decide how long it takes to get from one place to another in your story, or attempting to figure out how long it would take an advancing army to reach their destination, consider that our modern view of maps and distances has become severely warped. “It’s not that far,” and “They could make it there in a couple of hours,” and “They’ll be here tomorrow,” are common assumptions for writers, but they might not take into consideration that our characters, creature or otherwise, cannot travel all day without pause, even on roads.

Terrain

Remember to take terrain into consideration. Your creatures accompanying your characters have different physiology than your humanoid characters, so how fast can they travel? Do they have the body strength to be able to carry someone, specifically the spinal strength? Remember that the more people you add to the back of a creature, the slower the creature will travel, even horses. Additionally, consider what their feet are made from. A horse’s hooves are a dense material that takes long usage fairly well (rocks and terrain difficulties aside) which is part of why they (and other hoofed creatures) make good pack animals and “vehicles,” alongside other factors. We don’t go around riding creatures with paws because paws rub raw faster when burdened with weight and asked to go long distances. Creatures traveling on their own legs will travel differently over different terrain. Remember when I mentioned earlier in the series that you should be thinking about where your creature companions originate from? Their physiology will be tailored to travel best over that kind of terrain. If they’re from meadows, rocky mountains will slow them down. Obviously, travel speeds will change depending on the terrain, and the endurance of your creatures will, too. Horses will become lame if rocks or other materials become lodged in their hooves (think about having a rock in your shoe!). Consider how terrain could impact your creature companion in similar ways depending on the construction of their feet.

Food & Water

The most common trope for feeding our humanoid characters on their journey is that they have rations in their packs: dried fruit, tough bread, hunks of cheese, dried meat jerky, etc. What’s often forgotten about is sufficient and appropriate food and water for creature companions. Water retention and metabolism rates vary widely across creatures. You can’t assume that they’ll function like your humanoids do.

When you were planning your creature companion and where they came from, I asked you to consider what kind of eaters they are (herbivore, carnivore, omnivore) to get a good basic idea of what your companions eat. They’re likely not going to be carrying around their food like your humanoids might, so you need to plan for your characters to either be hunting for the creature or to allow the creature to go off and hunt. But don’t just say, “They went off to hunt, returning three hours later with a bloody maw.” You need to know if the area they paused in has the types of foods your creature eats available. Know the environments they’re traveling in; know what’s around and what’s not. It’s okay for your creatures to go without a meal now and then, but it’s not going to make them happy or pleasant to be around the longer they miss out on food. Be aware of how their personality, their travel speed, their fighting capability, and their focus will be impacted when they are forced to go without food.

For emergency water supplies, it’s recommended to carry 1 gallon of water per person per day while cats and dogs generally need 1 gallon each per 3 days. These measures are not taking travel into account, which would raise the predicted amounts. We almost never think about having that much water hanging around our characters for their trek across wherever, but giving our creatures the breaks they will need and the water they’ll need often gets entirely forgotten. Take breaks. All-day travel is hard, hard work on anyone, car or not. Make sure your characters are traveling between places with potable water, whether that’s sources like rivers or cities with wells.

Stress, Sleep, and Special Care

Travel isn’t a walk in the park. It’s a long, grueling journey, filled with difficult decisions and dangerous encounters. There’s socializing and surviving, and it’s not as simple as going out to do the thing. Stress is going to come into play more and more the longer your characters and creatures travel. Think about how this increase in stress will effect your creature companions. Do they know what’s going on? What’s their perspective on the trip? Have they perceived themselves in danger yet? How will they react when they do? How do they deal with being forced to spend a prolonged amount of time in close quarters with others? Is that normal and welcome to them, or is it strange and not preferred? Will they seek out their own space or stick close to the others?

Remember that sleep is not going to be ideal. It may be few and far between, after long days of intense activity, interrupted by attacks, unfulfilling because of discomfort or anxiety, or any number of other things. You still need to consider how your creature would normally try to sleep, and then think about how they could if they needed to, because, trust me, they’re going to need to. Similar questions to those above should be considered including how your creature will handle going some sleepless nights. How will its mood and ability to handle changes in plan be impacted by lack of sleep? How about appetite and willingness to perform? All the problems we encounter with sleep, sleeplessness, interrupted sleep, and less-than-preferred amounts of sleep will need to be considered for your creatures, as much as for your humanoids.

Some creatures will need tending to when travel ceases, whether for a break or at the end of a day. They may need special attention like horses having their tack removed and a nice rub down, or creatures that traveled in a backpack or on a shoulder may need to wander a bit and stretch the legs. Please, please, pay attention to these things. There’s nothing worse than reading poor animal care from a farm boy going on their first big adventure. Casual mentions of the care and attention are sufficient, but completely ignoring this facet leaves out a big part of what travel is with a creature companion. If your creature is a mythical beast, break it down to its root characteristics to determine how they may need to be bedded down for the night. Are your dragons more lizard-like and likely to seek out warm places for the evening, perhaps burrowing for a nest in the ground? Are your hippogryphs able to find enough materials to nest in or do they take more to the horse side of things and sleep standing? Break things down and determine appropriate care for your creatures, then make sure your humanoids are performing those actions they need to ensure comfort for their companions.

Look. Just don’t forget you’ve got another character who has different needs. Don’t pass them off, don’t forget about them, don’t gloss over them. If you’re going to have a creature companion, you need to make sure you’re treating them like any other character and paying attention to their wants and needs the way you do for humanoids. Make sure you’re not asking them to go too far, too fast, without appropriate access to food and water. Take care of your creatures!

Next up: Contributing abilities!

anonymous asked:

As a follow-up on the previous fill: now I'd really like to know more about the Goat Incident!

Previously on: The Goat Incident!

~~~

“Eleanor, Bucky?” Bruce looked up hopefully.

Bucky nodded.  “I can’t say too much.  Highly classified wartime efforts.”

“-That was like eighty years ago!”  Tony protested.  

Bucky slid into the spot on the couch between Falsworth and Dugan, who seemed to smile even wider, seeing Barnes again.  Apparently, this was not their first reunion.  Tony made a mental note to get to the bottom of that another time.

“All I can disclose is-“

“—The goat headbutted a HYDRA operative in the stomach so hard he passed out.  It raised the alarm on the perimeter and when reinforcements were called in, they had a laugh at the guard’s expense and it kept attention away so we could slip in.” Falsworth smiled.

Dugan laughed.  “Sarge is right, though.  Dernier did try to lure the goat away when we left.” He sighed.  “She had gumption.” 

“That’s it?”  Tony felt a little depressed.  “That’s the Eleanor story?” 

“Well,” Falsworth grinned.  “Dernier didn’t just try, he succeeded.  He got the goat to follow us.”

Barnes, Dugan, and Steve were stifling laughter, now.  

“And the Colonel,” Falsworth continued, “He didn’t take too kindly to her.”

“That was mostly because of his hat, though.” Steve managed, strained.

“There was more than one Goat Incident?”  Bruce looked far too curious for Tony’s comfort, which was saying something.  

“Pal,” Bucky grinned, “every day was a Goat Incident until she was Honorably Discharged.”

“What?” Tony sputtered.  “You can Honorably Discharge a goat.”

“Turns out you can,” Dugan corrected, “Though the Colonel wasn’t happy about that, either.  It found one of Peggy’s shoes.  It was the only agreement we could come to.”  

3

hey yall remember my reverse au ?? Well ok it wasn’t my plan to make something big of it but @beach-city-mystery-girl  gave me way too many ideas and headcanons to let it slide……

Some facts/headcanons/whatever:

  • Spike is quite the same dragon here. But he has a crush on Applejack, instead of on Rarity
  • Pinkie is Celestia’s student, as she’s the filly who gets to accidentally break Spike’s egg. Celestia, being aware of her energy and potential, which could bring joy and unity to the whole land, takes her as her student, and sends her to Ponyville to learn the value of friendship and teamwork, since reverse!Pinkie has trouble at bonding or working with other ponies (even if she’s cheerful and friendly, she likes to work alone, and would rather not to deepen relationships). Her only friend is Spike, and Celestia, basically.
  • Twilight of course never was Celestia’s student, and never thought “friendship was silly”. That’s because Shining Armor never tried to be part of the royal guard, and therefore, he spent more time with her sister, teaching her the value of friendship and family. Adult Twilight eventually moves to Ponyville to become a librarian and an event planner, as she loves to organize. She also becomes the official Ponyville party planner, even if she doesn’t really like parties.
  • Rainbow Dash wants to design outfits and stuff for the Wonderbolts, rather than flying with them (sorry I still need a fashionista in this au). She still enjoys flying, but only to do pretty art sky.
  • Fluttershy, besides being an animal caretaker, she works in the apple farm too, helping AJ (as BigMac is in the Crystal Empire, ruling). She’s kind and gentle, but have little patience and won’t hesitate to make you eat those damn vegetables, Angel Bunny.
  • Applejack works in the farm, taking care of the numbers and promotion side, she still bucks apples, but isn’t something she get to do often. (Good thing Fluttershy is there to help!) She wants to expand the business in a very ambitious way
  • Rarity is a bold and energetic unicorn who wants to be part of the royal guard on Canterlot, so she can help protecting Equestria and whoever needs it. She has a strong sense of justice (She was the one who defended Fluttershy from those nasty bullies)

there’s a lot of things unsaid, but I still want to draw more stuff for this au, so more stuff will be explained in the future, hopefully :3

ohh, and thanks @beach-city-mystery-girl for a lot of the ideas! Credit to her ♥

Me a few months ago: Oh boy oh boy I can’t wait to play Stardew Valley, taking care of a farm and exploring the mines and attending festivals and

Stardew Valley: and meeting alcoholic depressed characters

Me:

Stardew Valley: and crafting super slick truffle oil for an old pervert

Me: that’s not even

Stardew Valley: and seeing a father suffering from PTSD because he just came home from war

Me: w h a t

Stardew Valley: haha yes but wait until you see the writer who is so lonely that it almost drives him crazy

Me: What the hell is up with that game

flickr

Untitled by Gabriela Tulian
Via Flickr:

Swedish books/movies/tv shows you should read/watch

Originally posted by introverts-hideaway

Here is a list of swedish books/movies/tv shows that you should read/watch if you want to !

(this is not a ranking)

1. BOOKS

April Witch 

(Aprilhäxan) by  Majgull Axelsson. 

Desirée wants to know who stole her life. Institutionalised since early childhood due to severe disabilities, she lies in her hospital bed making plans. She can neither walk nor talk, but she has special abilities. Desirée is an ‘April witch’, which means that she’s able to see through other creatures’ eyes and can make them take her wherever she wants to. In her quest to find out which of her three foster sisters has stolen her life, Desirée becomes an invisible presence in their lives, following them, biding her time.

Simon and the Oaks

(Simon och ekarna) by Marianne Fredriksson.

Simon Larsson grows up in a working-class family in Gothenburg in the 1940s. World War II is raging. Simon’s father is a man of principles and strong views; his mother runs the home with love and warmth. But they are not his biological parents. Simon finds out that he was adopted and that his real father is Jewish. At school, Simon meets Isak Lentov, the son of a rich Jewish bookkeeper. The Lentovs, who fled from Nazi Germany before the war, becomes closely linked to Simon’s own family as the two boys make the transition from childhood to adulthood.

The Hundred-Year-Old Man Who Climbed Out of the Window and Disappeared

(Hundraåringen som klev ut genom fönstret och försvann) by Jonas Jonasson.

On his 100th birthday, Allan Karlsson breaks out of an old people’s home, through the window. He is determined to fill his remaining days with adventure and embarks on a long journey through Sweden, being chased by thieves and police, making friends along the way. Mixed with his old-age adventure, his life’s story is told: he dines with president-to-be Harry S. Truman, hitchhikes with Winston Churchill, travels on a river boat with Mao Zedong’s wife and treks through the Himalayas.

Gösta Berling’s Saga

by Selma Lagerlöf.

A priest defrocked for misbehaving and drinking, Gösta Berling wants to die. The Mistress of Ekeby saves him from freezing to death and takes him in. As one of 12 party-loving homeless men in the manor at Ekeby, Gösta Berling becomes a leading spirit. But the evil Sintram lures the men into making a deal with the devil, which leads to the Mistress of Ekeby leaving home. Wild adventures, power struggle and redemption follow.

Let the Right One In

(Låt den rätta komma in) by John Ajvide Lindqvist.

It’s the winter of 1981 in the grey Stockholm suburb of Blackeberg. Twelve-year-old Oskar is being bullied. But he has a friend who lives next door, Eli. The two develop a close relationship, and Eli helps Oskar fight back against his tormentors. But this story is more than just a snapshot of average suburban life. Eli is a vampire, which Oskar has yet to find out. As mysterious murders spread fear and confusion in the community, Oskar starts to understand – but doesn’t abandon Eli.

The Road

(Vägen till Klockrike) by Harry Martinson.

In 1898, cigar maker Bolle faces big changes. Hand-rolled cigars have to give way to modern, machine-made, mass-produced cigars. Industrialisation is here and Bolle doesn’t like it. He hits the road. On wood-lined gravel roads we follow his vagabond journey through a Sweden about to change. Bolle learns how to beg without provoking people, faces the fear of inhabitants and meets riding policemen as well as vagabond friends. The vagabonds share a longing for freedom and a feeling of scepticism of the brave new world.

Popular Music from Vittula

(Populärmusik från Vittula) by Mikael Niemi.

Matti and his silent friend Niila grow up in Pajala in the very north of Sweden, in an area called Vittula. This is the 1960s/70s, when roads are covered with asphalt, small farms are closed and rock music hits the radio. The older generation doesn’t like the novelties, shaped as they are by memories of poorer times and by Laestadianism, a conservative Lutheran movement that started in Swedish Lapland. Mikael and his friends dream of another life, a life that awaits beyond the horizon.

Let Me Sing You Gentle Songs

(Nu vill jag sjunga dig milda sånger) by Linda Olsson.

One dark evening in March, Veronika arrives at a remote cottage in a small Swedish village, having come all the way from New Zealand. She is a young author longing for peace and quiet to be able to finish her novel and get on with her life after mourning a great loss. Veronika’s closest neighbour is Astrid, a loner. Behind her walls, dark family secrets and a personal tragedy are hidden. As the cold winter turns to spring, the two women slowly form a bond. Their friendship will change both of their lives forever.

The People of Hemsö

(Hemsöborna) by August Strindberg.

Carlsson is on his way to the island of Hemsö in the Stockholm archipelago to work at widow Flod’s farm. With Flod’s husband dead and her son Gusten not caring about farming, the farm is in a state of disorder. When Carlsson starts taking care of everything, Flod is happy, but her son finds Carlsson very snobbish. Eventually Carlsson marries Flod – but let’s just say she’s not the only woman on the island.

The Serious Game

(Den allvarsamma leken) by Hjalmar Söderberg.

Arvid Stjärnblom and Lydia Stille accidentally meet again, ten years after their young romance ended. Now, they are both married, but can’t help falling for each other again and start an affair. Lydia is an independent woman who gets a divorce and is prepared to follow her emotions, which turns out to have far-reaching consequences. Arvid, on the other hand, stays married to his wife with whom he has two children. It soon becomes clear that love is a serious game.

Keep reading

frozensnake99  asked:

What would be the reaction of the family if Bruce bought the Kent farm just to piss off Clark?

Bruce 

“It’s okay, Smallville, I’ve got capable hands with me. They all might belong to city brats at heart, but capable nonetheless”  

Clark 

Meanwhile the kids 

Tim 

“What ever the fuck you mean we’re moving to Smallville!?” 

Jason 

“Bruce finally lost it. We can’t even keep a Goddamn plant alive for more than two weeks and he wants us to take care of a farm!?” 

Damian

“Only because you and Drake are both retarded, it does not mean the rest of us are as well. Isn’t that right, Grayson?” 

Dick 

“Uhhh, right” 

‘’River’s long-standing dream was to use his money to buy land and set up a sanctuary for damaged children, ‘’all sort of homeless kids and kids from foster homes or kids who have been in and out of mental institutions.’’
He envisioned a farm, so the children could help grow their own food, also populated by stray cats and dogs. ‘’The kids would be assigned to an animal of their own and they would have this cycle of caring for something. The farm would have solar panels and be self-sufficient. It wouldn’t be isolated because it would be a whole community in itself. There would be room for individual expression and creativity. It would be really wonderful.’’

Fairly transparently, River was describing his idealized version of childhood. If he felt that he hadn’t been protected in his own youth, he didn’t want to wallow in self-pity: he tried to convert that feeling into charity.’’

[Excerpt from Last Night At The Viper Room by Gavin Edwards.]

I don’t talk to fish - Aquaman x reader

Can you one with Aquaman? Where he and the reader know each other but they hate each other an then they fall in love eventually? Requested by https://itsrebeca.tumblr.com @itsrebeca

I accidentaly delated the original message so…yeah. Here we go. It’s really long because I didn’t wanna make more than one part huh. And it kinda sucks…Oh well, I tried. It’s so late…

(My master list, by the way : Right here )

______________________________________________________________________

The first time you met Arthur Curry, aka Aquaman, you were having a nice lunch date at your favorite cafe in Metropolis with your brother, Clark. 

You weren’t happy that one of his super-friend ruined your chance to spent time just the two of you. Since he moved to Metropolis and became Superman, you nearly never saw your brother, and you missed him. You guys have always been very close, and despite his overprotecting you, he just didn’t had time to hang out with you that much anymore…Especially since you stayed in Smallville to take care of the family farm with your ma’. 

You often joked about the fact that you’d have to be in grave danger to see him. Worst thing was, it was true…So when he called you and asked if you wanted to come for the week-end to Metropolis, you said yes without hesitation…The first day, he saved the world from aliens with the Justice League, and only came back late at night. You had to almost dragged him out of bed for him to follow you to the café to have lunch…and now, that Aqua-dude was ruining it. 

Keep reading

4

the glendower gang + instagram → ronan

Henry is pretty famous on Instagram and gets the whole group into it. Ronan texts like hell, Blue, Henry and Gansey start a hashtag about how handsome is Adam (#aDAMN), they all use the comments section as a group chat, and they miss Noah A LOT.

They all post (except Henry, ‘cause he is a Blogger™) poor quality pics sometimes, but hey, that’s what normal teenagers do.

(henry)(blue)(adam)(gansey)

anonymous asked:

III Want scenario where sidon ask his s/o out! Or ask her to marry him!!!!

MOD JAY ON THE MIC

Do You Wanna Date A Shark Man?

-The thing with royalty is that they’re often very formal. Sidon might be a bit of an adventurous, tradition-bucking Prince, but that’s not going to change the fact that he’s been told all his life that there’s only one right way to confess to someone and make sure it’s p e r f e c t.

-That way is a royal ball. Here’s the thing that makes the invitations so totally extra: there is no paper mill in Hyrule. Which means, in order to make sure that S/O gets the message, Sidon’s ordering hundreds of hours of work for royal workers and scribes o n l y to do the royal equivalent of ‘hey, so, um, you wanna go out sometime?’

-Thing is, Zora have their own language. So chances are, future S/O has no idea what this fuggn gold-embossed lettering even reads. They have to bring it to some expert in linguistics, probably the Princess herself, to take some time to tell them they’re invited to the flyest fix-up in all the ocean, ya dig? Zelda’s like, “bich goooooooooo I’ll take care of your farm and everything” S/O’s like, “yea gurl okay”

-So they go to this massive function that’s in an air pocket beneath the sea, and they’re like, confused as to why everyone goes silent when they go in.

-The big handsome sharkman that they keep flirting with is approaching them. No one else is moving. Why is no one else moving?

-He’s right in front of them. Everyone is watching. Hoe don’t do it.

-He gets on one knee.

-“S/O, I have something to confess to you… I’m… in love with you.”

-Oh mah God.

-S/O says yes, because of course they’re totally on board with shark-dating, he’s wonderful, even with the elements of politics that get involved. And yeah, there are days filled with lessons that are just about how to properly act when the prince’s consort-to-be, but then he makes it up to them with outings to the most beautiful reefs and waterfalls

-He gets on his knees one day, covered with bioluminescence, and S/O’s like, “Okay, I know what this is—”

-“S/O, will you marry me?”

anonymous asked:

How would bachelor(ette)s react to the female farmer trying to get their degree and staying up way too late in a mess of books and unfinished papers?

Alex - He finds the Farmer asleep at her desk. He would gently pick her up, and put her to bed.

Elliott - He would give her back massages until she was relaxed, and insist she can finish them in the morning.

Harvey - He would fret and eventually take away her caffeine. He’d feel guilty about it, but this isn’t healthy.

Sam - He would sit with the Farmer and keep her company until she finished.

Sebastian - He drags her to bed, reassuring her she can get an extension.

Shane - He would offer to proofread.

Abigail - She would take care of the Farm the next morning, so the Farmer could sleep in.

Haley - She would offer to do research and highlight quotes.

Leah - She would organize the Farmers books.

Maru - She would do chores so the Farmer didn’t have to.

Penny - She would help where she could, and make time management sheets for the Farmer later.

Emily - She makes the Farmer treats to keep going.

anonymous asked:

omg an aethelrik blog, thank you for existing! If it isn't too much trouble, could you break down all the stuff in the books that were not present in the show, relating to aethelflaed and erik's relationship? I haven't read the books and I am dying to know! Thanks in advance!

OMG anon just doing the Lord’s werrrk, thanks! First, just to let you know, the book was written in Uhtred’s POV, so the aethelrik shiznit only started when he went to Beamfleot for the hostage negotiations. Most of what happened in the show are almost the same as in the books but there were some major changes tho, like TV!Aethelflaed was not carrying Aethelred’s child during her captivity. This is going to be a long post anon, so stay with me:

  • When Uhtred first sees Aethelflaed, he was expecting her to maybe look like crap and run to him joyfully as soon as she sees him [cue record scratch sound effect] nooope, before greeting him and asking if daddy was pissed, she and Erik were busy heart-eyes-ing each other that Uhtred just went:
  • In the books, Aethelflaed was treated way better as a prisoner and had 5 maids at her disposal, plus all of her guards were old fogeys. Erik wouldn’t allow any dane without a senior citizen ID to go near her…sorry Haesten :(
  • Had they escaped successfully, Erik would have converted to Christianity, as what he promised Aethelflaed (ಥ‿ಥ)
  • Also Erik said all he wanted was to live peacefully tilling in the fields and taking care of their future farm animals.
  • The conversation Uthred had with Aethelflaed in the show was almost the same as in the books, except that they were in a dining hall celebrating the closed deal with all the Beamfleot squad. She and Erik never even looked at each other the whole night, Uhtred was so amazed he was like, dayum these two are pros [plays footage from the night before]:
  • Erik was willing to swear an oath to Ragnar once they’ve escaped from Beamfleot. He was all, “I’ll join Ragnar’s crew if he lets us crash forever for a bit in Dunholm”. Uhtred considered it and imagined Ragnar to be amused by their love story.
  • Aethelflaed revealed that she didn’t want to like Erik, that to fight the attraction she even resorted to praying… Good try princess, prayers ain’t gonna help you fend off that Danish charm & charisma.
  • There was no cage-the-princess scene in the book. Also, Sigefrid was totally oblivious to his brother’s feelings for the princess, he thought Erik was just using her for sex and would eventually drop her for some saxon bling.
  • Haesten was the one who set fire to the camp so he could whisk away Aethelflaed and go solo on the incoming ransom money. This so enraged Erik that he went total Terminator mode on Haesten’s men, killing everyone in his path without even a shield, it made Uhtred go, “that’s the most badass shit right there the gods are probably loving it.”
  • Sigefrid was the one who recovered Aethelflaed from Haesten’s goons and kept yelling, “I have the bitch”, and Erik was like, “GIVE HER TO ME” twice and that’s when all really went to shit.
  • Sigefrid was also pissed that he didn’t know Aetherik was a thing and that his brother and Uhtred became BFFs so when Erik said he’ll take Aethelflaed and pay the share of ransom money, Sigefrid was like ~hell no! you betrayed me by joining Uhtred’s boyband and wtf happened to bros before hoes? Bitch bye~ not verbatim but you get the drift.
  • Aethelflaed was weeping and shrieking from the time of Erik’s death until the battle was over, that the fighting men around her were spooked af, even Uhtred described it as “a sadness to fill the world”.
  • When Erik died and his body was being arranged and prepped for a viking burial, they had to pry a still-sobbing Aethelflaed away from him.
  • TV!Aethelflaed went home pregnant alright, but thank JesusMaryJoseph it’s Erik’s baby *throws confetti* 

That’s all I can remember, hopefully I’ve covered just about every little detail. We can all go back to being sad now thanks for the hurt anon

Ok tubby guy asside: I need a beefy guy with innocent face! Like a shy but good looking guy without the sculpt on itself screaming “you, me, bed, now~!” Its hard to turn such a sculpt into a shy-ish innocent face. The body can scream sex machine but the face needs to say God’s gardener and puppy farm care taker. Hand raising puppies with his big muscular arms and abs since he saw the light!

~Anonymous

Demigod

one-shot for @jilychallenge - february 2017

@gryffindormischief vs @woollfs (previously gxnevras)

prompt: so I’m a greek god and you’re a demigod who I turned up to curse because man you screwed up, but honestly that face is too cute to turn into a minotaur au

A/N: so this goes over 5900 words HA.  Not Greek gods but it’s all about gods/demi gods and whatnot.  Also it’s loosely based on the Epic of Gilgamesh so if you recognize anything that’s why. :)  @petalstofish this is it!!!! :) <3

Also available on FF and Ao3!


A sharp wind licks across the steep rock outcropping that cuts into the emerald landscape below, far enough down that vertigo kicks in for even the bravest.  Aside from James.  He’s traveled these lands enough times that nothing but that initial free-hand slide over the side to whatever makeshift handholds he can find will even bring his pulse above a resting heart rate.

Tucking the remnants of his lunch into his rather Spartan pouch – wouldn’t do to climb on a too full stomach – James tightens his belt, stretches his limbs, and strides toward the precipice with the casual purpose of someone who knows themselves and their task. That is until the scratching of claws – four sets if his ears are to be believed – scrape across the rough hewn stone.

James turns at the last minute, even his highly trained senses too slow to defend beyond raised forearms protecting his chest and head.  His vital organs should be well enough protected by the stiff leather that wraps around his middle, although his legs are vulnerable beneath the soft, worn cotton of his dark green trousers.

All this slips through his mind like a well-worn checklist – a product of years spent fighting and defending and being generally heroic – in the brief moments before the large, dark beast descends on him, the impact of its hulking form nearly knocking him to the ground.

As it is, he stumbles back a few steps which is a few more than he’s surrendered to any opponent since he counted his age in double digits.  Considering the circumstances, he lets the injury to his pride roll off his proverbial back as he flips the beast over his literal one and James quickly grabs his newly sharpened dagger from his boot.

With a few huffs that almost sound like indignant laughter, the dog like monstrosity stalks closer again and the two circle each other warily.

Relying on the adage of fortune favoring the bold, James quickly closes in on his opponent, its back to the sharp cliff as he wields his dagger expertly.  And yet despite his prowess, each swipe and thrust is easily evaded despite the rather heavy appearance of his foe.

Their single combat proceeds in this fashion for a time, neither gaining ground, neither surrendering, until James finally sees his chance and herds the beast toward the edge.

In the split second before he intends to push it over, delivering it a fairly sympathetic death as these things go, the monster shifts before his eyes, thick dark fur melting from its body and revealing taught olive skin, but the silver-grey eyes remain the same.

Momentarily caught off guard, the beast – man – grasps at his forearm desperately.  James narrows his hazel eyes inquisitively, jerking the man back from the sharp drop and shoving him toward his abandoned campsite.

Smirking rather arrogantly for a man who just barely escaped death’s clutches, his companion pushes up onto his hands, legs extended in front casually as if spending a lazy day picnicking by the lake.  “Quite the fighter then.”

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