You know what I want? You know what I need? Frozen pizza, oven baked fries, and a huge ass glass of iced Diet Coke. Today has been shit and all I want todo is carbo load and chill on my sofa with my furbabies.
The Originals 402 Recap “No Quarter” #TheOriginals
Episode grade: 8
The Mikaelsons, newly awakened and famished, drink a bus full of prisoners. I get that we’re meant to feel okay about this murder spree, because they’re theoretically bad guys, but the odds are that some of these guys are in for non-violent offenses, and one or two are probably even innocent. Man, it’s hard to just relax and enjoy stuff sometimes. Let’s pretend that this bus is full of violent psychopaths.
Anyway, they need a big meal, because they’re on their way to New Orleans to find Klaus and take him back from Marcel. This will be no small undertaking, hence the carbo-loading.
Upon arriving in NOLA, they go straight to find Josh and lean on him, threatening to harm his new boyfriend if he doesn’t help them. Even still, he nearly warns Marcel, and I can’t tell if that’s loyalty to Marcel or defiance against the Mikaelsons. Either way, it doesn’t happen, because Elijah is quicker (and fortunately for Josh, somewhat forgiving).
Rebekah meets with Marcel to keep him busy while her siblings and Hayley search for Klaus. It’s a nice scene between these old lovers. Marcel will always have a soft spot for Rebekah, and for what it’s worth, you can tell Rebekah would prefer not to have to attack Marcel. But she’s prepared to do what it takes for her family. At the heart of this episode is the pain Marcel feels at never being truly included in the Mikaelson notion of family.
After all, Klaus sired him, and Elijah raised him, educated him. Rebekah even loved him. But still, in the end, he’s not their blood. Even Hayley managed to penetrate the Mikaelson bond, and all she did was have a one night stand with Klaus that resulted in pregnancy. Marcel still gets treated as an outsider after everything he’s been through with them, over the course of more than a century.
Sofya shows up to bring Rebekah down, though Marcel forbids killing her. Now that Marcel is aware of the plan to rescue Klaus, he texts Josh a code word to convey the situation. Of course, Josh already knew, he just couldn’t do anything about it. He’s been under guard by Kol while the others worked to free Klaus. He’d been in the middle of trying to comfort Kol, because of their shared connection to Davina, whom Kol is mourning. In the midst of all this, the text comes in, and Kol snaps Josh’s neck rather than killing him, noting that Josh is lucky Davina liked him.
This is nice. A common flaw on shows like this is that people leave their adversaries alive for no good reason, and it always comes back to haunt them. A lot of the time, critics and fans refer to why a character survives a scene as “because they’re in the main credits.” The Originals is making sure to give clear and consistent reasons for not killing people, and I admire their attention to these details. If Freya had been left to guard Josh, Josh would be dead. But Kol loved Davina, and Davina loved Josh, so Kol would never harm Josh if he didn’t have to.
Kol rescues Rebekah, and they wait for the rest of the family at the rendezvous point.
While his siblings have been searching for him, Klaus has continued to suffer the effects of the blade of psychic torment. As an upside, his subconscious manifests as Cami. She tells him the things only she cared enough to say, just as she did in life, challenges him on his excuses and his fears. She aptly points out that he is on the verge of truly becoming a father to Hope. After all that time he raged at the world about his devotion to his daughter, he’s now terrified of getting to know her at an age when she’s getting smarter and more aware, when she might see him at his worst. She might judge him and be disappointed, or worse, she might take after him and become a monster.
Cami convinces Klaus to fight through the fear and pull the blade from his chest so he can participate in his own rescue. Good timing, too, because Elijah’s in real danger from a righteously angry Marcel. After all, Elijah did actually murder Marcel.
Klaus manages to get the blade into Marcel, and they escape. They haven’t got much of a lead, though, because Marcel is supervamp these days; he plucks the blade right back out with little fuss.
Marcel confronts them as they are about to get away, and it gets ugly. Kol snipes at Marcel, “You were never a Mikaelson. Get over it.” Klaus offers a truce, pointing out that Marcel may manage to kill some of them, but he certainly won’t kill them all, and he’ll be a target for the rest of time. Klaus makes it seem like a generous offer, to leave NOLA and never return.
But Marcel is too smart for that. He rejects the offer and makes one of his own. The Mikaelsons leave and never come back, sure, but it’s his mercy that allows that. They don’t get to claim a victory in this.
Klaus will indeed meet his daughter, and he looks so happy about that, it’s easy to imagine his moving on from any sense of injured pride over Marcel’s parting words. Unfortunately, their exile from NOLA won’t last, because that symbol Hope has been compulsively sketching is about to be a very big problem for everyone.
Vincent has been searching for Maxine’s missing son, and he found a very creepy house in the woods inhabited by a glowing thing, a ton of bad magical energy, and the symbol, which he recognizes. And here Sofya thought Vincent was putting up the symbols as some kind of rebellion against Marcel. I hope she learns to trust Vincent, because they’re all going to need him in this fight.
Another great week, right? Talk about it in the comments.
Genji’s cybernetic body synthesizes nutrients highly efficiently, but requires so much sustenance to function that he has to eat a lot anyway
It’s not uncommon to see him snacking, though he never eats on the go. He wasn’t raised in a barn, after all
Prefers healthy, organic food but won’t turn down a chocolate donut…or eleven
A darling at Reinhardt’s weekly barbecues because he always comes back for thirds and sometimes fourths and isn’t afraid to try the really weird German sausages
Has accidentally eaten one of Mei’s science projects. Became the science project, had to spend hours in her lab while she studied the polar nematodes in his tummy. (Hanzo, from a safe distance: “So, I am an uncle?” Genji threw a beaker at him)
Speaking of which, Genji carbo-loads the night before missions, often by himself at late hours so he doesn’t hog the dinner table. Hanzo sometimes visits him and they have Important Brotherly Talks
tl;dr Genji can empty a fridge and not gain a single pound
Quick idea for the OMGCP trope challenge Magic AU thing (that I may or may not write):
Bitty bakes his feelings into his pies. Literally. He’s aware, so he is very careful not to bake when he’s stressed out, or at least not to share; stress pies and anger pies asks sexually frustrated pies get (tragically) thrown away. So do in love pies, because otherwise everyone who eats them walks around in a romantic daze.
Of course, sometimes one of the boys discovers a to-be-thrown away pie before it meets it’s fate, and it’s always the catalyst for An Incident. Once, Dex and Nursey devoured a Bitty-needs-to-get-laid pie, and they were discoverered covered in blueberry filling and half naked on the kitchen table. Bitty screamed and yelled about “Y'all better bleach my whole kitchen when y'all’re done!” as he spun and exited as quickly as he could.
After a few too many throw away pies are pilfered before meeting with the trash can, Bitty is more careful. They color code the pie tins, he leaves notes. It mostly works.
The thing is though, that if any of Bitty’s feelings are directed at you, and you eat the pie? The effects are doubled. And they impact you in occasionally strange or inverse ways. Shitty helped Bitty with a paper, so he baked a grateful peach cobbler. Shitty cried and hugged Bits for twenty minutes (they snuggled and talked about jam and feelings).
Lardo and Bitty won a game against Rans and Holster. The celebration cookies made everyone super happy and full of pride for three days. His get-psyched-carbo-load pre-game granola bars get everyone pumped and they play exceedingly well; they’re like a pep talk in a bar.
The Frogs surprised Bitty by scrubbing the kitchen, and their mini thank you pies kept them motivated for days; all their homework was done, laundry, too. Also, they were extra polite to each other. It was weird because their chirping practically stopped altogether.
So, when Bitty bakes falling-in-love-with-Jack maple crusted apple pie, (and fails to realize it) at first, Jack just feels really good about himself. His anxiety is at a low, he takes a little extra time to appreciate his body in the mirror….but then, he starts to notice how his heart flutters around Bitty. And how he always wants to be near him, how Bitty makes him laugh, and how they play off each other on and off the ice. How the sunlight through Bitty’s golden hair gives him a soft glow that makes Jack’s fingers itch for his camera.
And holy crap: Jack Zimmermann is in love with Eric Bittle!
Of course, there’s a mild panic that Bitty made it happen (from Bitty, not Jack) but there’s gentle reassurance and a toe curling kiss, and then Bitty is certain that accidentally in love pie was the greatest thing he’s ever baked.
Noun-A phrase used as an excuse for why I am eating like shit this week.
Her: I thought you were eating better?
Me: 39.3 miles this weekend. Carbo Loading.
Her: It’s Wednesday. The first race isn’t until Saturday.
Me: Carbo loading.
Her: Is brie really the kind…
Me: Carbo Loading.