do you ever see people who are so breathtakingly beautiful it makes your heart ache? like girls with milk white skin and silver blonde hair. or boys with soft caramel features and ebony curls. faces made for fairytale princes and greek goddesses.
A/N: Because it’s raining and I just washed my sheets and it all feels very much how disconnected makes me feel :) (ps I’m on mobile so sorry for any mistakes!)
Rain was falling in torrents against your window as you snuggled up against Ashton, despite the summer heat. The air was humid, and your skin slightly sticky, but after being without Ashton for months, and only being able to enjoy his physical company for a few days before work called for both of you, a little heat wasn’t going to stop you from burrowing your head into your boyfriend’s chest. You breathed in his scent, your lips quirking into a soft smile, content with the familiarity of him. Ashton’s arm, even more muscular than the last time you were together, due to hours of playing drums and intense workouts, curled around your shoulders, drawing you closer to his body. He dropped a kiss onto your head. Your smile grew as his caramel curls brushed against your forehead. You sat in relative silence together, appreciating the rare opportunity of peace and quiet. Only the rustling as you shifted positions and Ashton’s hums when you moved against him, and than the occasional exchange of a few mumbled words, more often than not ‘I’ve missed you’ or 'I love you,’ provided noise, allowing the rain to be the music and one another’s presence to be the main attraction in the setting. There would be time for tour stories and passionate kissing, filling the room with noise and energy later. For now, you were both content to enjoy the simplicity of being together as the rain continued to pour down and you cuddled into Ashton.
C: Sometimes I really cannot talk to my mixed best friend. She is black and Colombian and I love her dearly but she just does not listen to me when I talk to her about my insecurities as a dark skinned Black woman. I try to tell her it’s HARD being black and queer knowing that I’m the least wanted in straight and LGBTQIA** spaces.
I go to a PWI with a very small black population but she does not get that guys here, especially the black ones, generally do not want to be with dark skinned girls. She came here and got so much attention (she has a caramel complexion, 3a curls, and is slim). And I’m not saying that she isn’t beautiful but I’m so tired of pretending that she does not look like the standard of beauty for black women.
She thinks that the reason I do not date or go out with guys is because I don’t put myself out there but it really isn’t true. I know hard it is for her being mixed especially when she is with her Latina friends who are not black because she is the black girl in those spaces, but she thinks because we are both black that everything is the same for us. I just feel like I have to put a wall up because I can’t tell her how I feel.
The last thing I want to do is make her feel like she doesn’t get me because she isn’t “black enough” so I hold my tongue. Ok, sure, I’m not the most outgoing person but I have friends, I’m kind, and people like me. l’m not insecure about who I am, I am just not aesthetically appealing to the majority of the world but that’s just how it works for people who look like me and I’ve accepted it. So I just pretend everything is ok and pretend that I’m trying to become more outgoing so that she can stop invalidating my experience. It’s just tiring not being able to open up to someone who is supposed to be my best friend.
You look up from your schoolwork
that you were lazily attempting, to the screen where Calums face was smiling at
“You what now?” You closed the book
that was covering your keyboard, watching him.
“Yeah, well, I miss you a lot, and
I saw it and it reminded me of me.” He grinned, pushing his hand through his
chocolate and caramel curls.
“How nice of you to think of…
yourself.” You slowly replied, giggling slightly. “So why are you telling me?
You’re on the other side of the world Cal.”
Reminding him hurt, and you watched the sadness flicker across his face.
“Because its there with you, but if
you don’t want it…” He trailed off, winking at me.
“What?” You suddenly perked,
sitting up and re adjusting the screen.
“Well I saw it before we started
touring, but now it’s available and Kate is bringing it to you as we speak.” He
smiled as I looking in amazement at him. His little nose, tired eyes that still
sparkled, even through a Skype call and a crappy webcam.
“Kate, your photographer Kate? Cal, this is amazing,
you’re away and you still have presents planned for me. This is amazing,” You
repeated. “You’re amazing.” You beam at him, watching him slowly
“That’s the one. And I always think
of you, duh, I love you!” He laughed as his phone pinged and his head shot back
up to you. “She’s here! She says she’s coming up the stairs.
In anticipation, you glance at the
door. “Can’t I get it?” You ask with your eyes on the handle.
“Nope,” He replied, popping the p. “It’s
coming to you. I can’t wait!” The excitement in his voice meant that you were
going to love it, and your stomach ached with thrill. The door slowly began to
open as you watched Kate’s dark hair appear, along with a bright smile.
With scampering, you felt something
crawl onto your lap immediately as you looked down in surprise.
A little German shepherd with
bright brown eyes looked up at you, lapping your face excitedly.
“OH MY GOD!” You screamed happily,
looking from the dog to Calum as Kate chuckled.
The dog was perfect, with dark
brown fur that had flashes of caramel in it and huge eyes.
“It’s, its, YOU!” You exclaimed to
the camera as Calum laughed heartily.
“Exactly. Do you like him?” He
“Like? It’s,” You held the little
pup up as he wagged at you. “Love at first sight! What’s his name?” You asked
Calum, cuddling him closer as your heart exploded.
“He doesn’t have one. He’s all
yours.” Calum laughed.
“Ok ok I have one!” You shot back,
winking at him.
“What is it?” He asked cautiously,
as all the boys joined him in the background to see the present they obviously
knew was coming.
“So in light of recent events,” You
announced, “Due to the recent loss of your other beloved dog, he shall
therefore become and forever be named-“
“Hurry up!” Ashton shouted in the
“Darling,” Peggy whispered. The house lights of the theater were about to be turned back on, and Angie seemed to be asleep on her shoulder. “Darling, the picture’s over. You need to move.” Peggy wiggled her shoulder a bit to jostle the other woman.
“Let me just stay this way until the lights are back on, English.”
Peggy chuckled at the head of caramel curls as she realized the other woman’s voice didn’t sound nearly as groggy as she had expected. “You were never asleep,” she concluded.
“No,” Angie sighed happily, and when the house lights turned on she pulled away. “Come on, English. Let’s get home.”