I am an amoeba,
as easy to mold as dough
but tougher than any expectation put on the woman kneading it.
I am a rolled up flannel,
carabiner keys wearing,
shave my head for freedom, woman.
I show my scars as diamonds draped around me.
I’ve been taught to wear my imperfections as robes
like a queen would her dignity.
We, with ropes tied around our spines, stand tall.
Learn to speak without cracks in our voices
and walk comfortably on the burning ash of our past selves.
Our sisters walk miles longer than the lashes glued to their eyes,
younger generations wait in our footsteps to steal the makeup from our dressers when we leave every morning for battle.
They crave to wear it as war paint.
Hope our experience will stain their lips
alongside the color so they can taste what it’s like to overcome.
What does it take to have strength?
To stand tall through attacks?
Like trees whose limbs are cut back every year because it’s known that when they bloom again it will be twice as beautiful as the last time.
When the doors of your eyes slam closed,
to hopefully quiet the world around you,
where do you go?
Is your heaven a place where flowers bloom from the dirt you’ve picked up in your shoes?
Or an ocean with waves like tsunamis that constantly try to drown everything in its wake?
We have learned to walk miles standing still.
To hear a cry for help in a speech as planned as a menstrual cycle.
Who has taught you to be a victim in your home?
To fear the weather in your skin that proves that you’ve existed.
We bleed out our legacy in private.
Become warriors for our rights to show our children what life is.
You may have ripped me open,
left a trail staining the path of where i’ve been.
Used my stories to turn burnt hair to the symbol of hope for an unborn child to keep dreaming.
I know the weight of the world feels like It wants you to be buried
So let the warmth of the ground hold your baby toes as you root yourself in the face of your existence.
Let it hold you tight as you continue to bloom towards the sun,
and when it rains -
use that time to wipe your eyes so when you see light again
you remember why you’re moving.
Love, I hope you find your place within in the weather of our lives.
Take advice from the wind and how obstacles only make it stronger.
How sometimes the brightest suns, though beautiful
still burn your retinas when you stare for too long.
I think the toughest answers are hiding behind the dust on lessons we have known for so long.
Trust that sometimes it’s the pain of what we’re lacking
To help us truly understand what it means to crave need.
Tumi Double Billfold
AustraAplin carabiner with my keys
Glock 19 magazine with Pearce Grips extension and Hornandy Critical Defense ammo
Glock 19 Gen 4
Bulova Men’s Dress Watch
G19 Kydex holster (don’t know who makes it, I forgot)
So this is what I had in my backpack today. As you can see, black is a dominating color here. So what do you guys think? Anything I’m missing? I carry a Leatherman Wave and Victorinox Explorer in my car.
How cool is this? As a guy, I love hooking my keys onto my belt loop of my pants with a carabiner. This geek toy is a key that has a carabiner already built in so that you can clip it to your backpack, pants, etc plus it’s also a blank key so you can actually use it too!