car tow

9

Rosie: *sighing despondently*

Luke: *hushed* “Hey, Cisco - sorry to bother you man but I’m pretty sure I saw a tow truck putting hooks on your car.”
Cisco: “D’uh, huh?  Oh!  Oh no!  Thanks man!” *rushes off*
Ocean: *aghast* “What was that? Did you really see his car being towed?”
Luke: *sitting down* “No, but it will probably take him some time to remember where he parked so that gives us 30, maybe 40 minutes.  You don’t have to thank me, strawberry.  Just doing my daily good deed.”
Ocean: *angry whisper* “Don’t call me that!  And I wasn’t going to thank you!  That was my date you just chased off!”
Luke: “Oh!  I just assumed all the drooling and feeble-mindedness was wearing thin.”
Ocean: “You’re unbelieveble.”
Luke: “I feel the same way about you.”

Rosie: *quietly* “Do you mind if I sit here?  I can’t be up front anymore.”
Angelo: *startled* “Huh?”

Worth It

Summary: reader twisted her ankle and Bucky helps her take care of the injury. One thing leads to another and… well just check the warnings.

A/N: Okay…. So something weird happened last night. I was just doing what I normally do which is look through my drafts and see if I can come up with something for my imagines and stuff which didn’t happen, sadly. Then I just opened a new draft for some reason and just began writing while my mind drifted off to some… things. Basically what I’m trying to tell you here is that I wrote smut.
Yes, I wrote smut and posting it will be my first time posting smut on this blog. I’m feeling kind of anxious about posting this because I don’t know if it’s any good. Either it’s so bad it’s hilarious, cringy or it’s actually something people can enjoy in a non humorous way. I mean I got a little erotically charged (college talk for horny (i love you if you get that reference)) while writing it but I don’t know if other people will. If you want to read it, go ahead and if you feel uncomfortable, don’t.
Feedback is appreciated, especially now since this is my first smut that I’ve posted. You don’t have to go into detail just tell me if it was well written or not, that’s if you want to, of course. I don’t want to force anyone to do anything they don’t want to do.
FOR THE PEOPLE I TAGGED!! I have no idea if you guys wanted to be tagged in smut posts too but hey, you don’t have to read it! I don’t expect every person to read every single imagine I post. Just skip this one if you feel like it.

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x reader

Words: 5,622

Warning(s): SMUT, oral sex (both male and female receiving), cursing, unprotected sex (remember to wrap it before you tap it! Sex is cleaner with a packaged wiener. Don’t be a fool, cover your tool. Wrap your bate before you mate and all that stuff)


Keep reading

Stumble

Yoongi X Reader

Smut

Word Count - 3516

Request -

where you trip over some boxes/files that were left on the floor by Yoongi (your crush and a long-ish time friend) and spill coffee you had on your new shirt. he wants to by you dinner as an apology and things take off when he wants to drive you home ^^

A/N -

THIS IS SO SHIT HONESTLY I WANT TO CRY BUT I HAD NOTHING ELSE TO POST AND THIS IS ONE OF THE FIRST REQUESTS I HAD EVER GOTTEN, I AM SO SORRY IT HAS TAKEN FUCKING MONTHS TO POST THIS AND IM SORRY ITS SO SHITTY <3

Originally posted by ohbaibeeitsyou


Your arms were engulfed with coffee cups and folders as you rushed to your desk. You were already 5 minutes late, and you knew your boss wouldn’t be happy.

Fuck you hated your job.

You saw people exchange glances as you sat on the small table, slamming the folders down carelessly. You were in no mood to return fake smiles today.
“Now that’s not the right attitude to come into work with.” The, deep, tense voice that made your smile turn into a frown every time your ears recognised it. You turned to look behind you, to see him. His jet black hair seemed glossy, a smug smirk placed on his lips as he looked down at you. You turned back to your computer screen.

“Sorry, Mr. Min..” You mumbled, typing impatiently as you tried to ignore your bosses presence.

“No need to apologise, Y/N, but you need to understand, that in this company, we all have a positive attitude.” He whispered from behind you, his lips inches away from your ear.

You couldn’t help but snort at his remark. Was he that stupid to not realise that not fucking everyone was as happy and cheery as him? Yoongi raised an eyebrow at the unusual sound that escaped you.

“Yes.” You nodded, breaking the awkward silence that was taking place between the two of you.

“Okay, good.” Yoongi nodded, his hand squeezed your shoulder. The warmth against your clothed skin made you feel slightly uncomfortable at his unnecessary touch.

“Please don’t touch me.” You asked, your voice blank as you tried to stare at the computer screen. Failing in the process. Your eyes travelled to his large hand, veins bulging as he gripped your shoulder.

Although you had no possible intimate feelings towards your boss. You had to admit that he was a handsome man, and that if you were to have a ‘crush’ on this man, you would gladly fall at his feet.

“You must have taken my sign of reassurance out of context, I apologise Y/N” Yoongi chuckled, his hand falling by his side again, a smirk playing at his rosy pink lips.

“Well I apologise for taking it out of context, Mr. Min.” You smiled, turning around so you were facing him once again.

“Please, call me Yoongi” Yoongi smiled down at you, his hands now placed behind his back. He was indeed a formal man, who was enthusiastic enough to keep his workers irritated and tired 24/7.

“Okay, Yoongi, now please can I get back to my work?” You asked, annoyed at his lingering presence.

Usually people would scurry away from your boss, trying their best to ‘behave’ in a formal manner. To look good in front of him. To be like him.

But you decided to turn the other way, being honest and rude to him as much as you could. You couldn’t help it. He just seemed to dehumanise everything in his way, and you weren’t going to let the impact he had on other people, affect you.

“Of course” He nodded at you, patting your shoulder once more before turning his back to you and walking to his office.


“Oh fuck this” You breathed out, your eyes glancing at your watch.

You were going to be late, again.

You sipped your at your coffee, hissing as you swallowed the scorching hot liquid, you took no notice of your untied shoes, and before you knew it, you were tripping over your own feet, the hot beverage spilling carelessly over your hand.

You cussed, trying you hardest to focus on the way you were going.

You yelped, crashing against a soft chest. The large hands found their way to your hips as everything you had once carried was now on the ground. You cussed as you felt a sting against your chest, a painful, burning sensation that had settled there.

“Woah, hey, those boxes shouldn’t have been there” A deep, soft chuckle broke the awkward silence.

“Shit.” You muttered, wincing as you started to realise that your face and body was pressed up against Min Yoongi’s, you slowly pulled your face away from his chest, to look up at him, flustered and embarrassed at the position you were both in.

His eyes studied your shy, guilt ridden face before travelling down to your chest, where the coffee had made your sheer red blouse expose your black, lace bra. Your breasts looked so plump and round in the wet shirt, that it was merely impossible for him to not think about dirty things.

“Y-you look like you’re in pain.” Yoongi stuttered, grabbing your wrists and pulling you out of the way of the boxes and anything that could possibly cause another commotion.

“Yoongi, I am fine.” You reassured him, trying to pull away from his firm grasp.

You could see the lust in his eyes, you could smell his desire. He wanted you so badly, seeing you, there, with your breasts practically exposed as your teeth overlapped your bottom lip in a why that turned Yoongi on.

You turned him on.

Yoongi thought for a moment, before releasing his grip from your wrists, a smile playing on his lips. “I should have looked where I was going, I was actually looking to see where you were-” He started, running a thumb across your heated cheeks.

God dammit why was he always following you.

“You know, to see if you had those files I needed for the meeting later this evening.” He smiled, shaking his head as he thought about your shocked expression when you had collided with Yoongis chest. He felt comforted by you, the weight between you two had been such a stimulating experience, even if it only lasted a minute or two.

You cussed under your breath. Yoongi had specifically told you to bring those files today. The meeting he was going to was practically his promotion on the line.

And you had let him down, once again.

“Shit, I’ll go home straight away and get them, I am so sorry, I was in such a rush this morning and-”

“How about we go out for lunch, and then I can overlook the papers with you, so were both confident about the level of work?” Yoongi asked, grinning.

“I mean, I guess so. But I have to change, I can’t go anywhere looking like this.”

“In my eyes, you look gorgeous-”

“Watch it, Yoongi.”

But if you are worried about your appearance, I would happily drive you to your home so you can change.”

You hesitated, but nodded, turning around, grabbing the folders you had brought with you to work and threw them on your desk. You were coming back later anyway.


On the car drive home all Yoongi could look and think about was you and your body. The way the seatbelt wrapped around your curvy body made your breasts pop out made him grow, but Yoongi was a man who could control himself in these types of situations.

“Turn right” You told your boss, your voice hoarse and shaky.

You were nervous to say the least.. You had never really interacted with Yoongi out of work, so this was a first for you.

“Just park there, my car got towed a couple days ago so theres a free spot.” you mumble, pointing at the empty space.

You stepped out of the car, hissing as the cold air hit you. Rushing to the door, you unlocked it, motioning him to come inside quickly, it was cold, and your apartment was warm, cold usually overtakes heat at a rapid pace. And you liked being warm.

Without argument Yoongi rushed inside, looking around the room. It seemed cozy, a suitable size for someone who lived alone. He couldn’t complain.

“I’ll be 5 minutes, make yourself at home.” You muttered, strolling to your bedroom, grasping clothes from your wardrobe as if it was a race.

You slipped out of your clothes and placed on a white button up shirt and black jeans slipping on grey converse. You weren’t going to make yourself look sophisticated, you were too tired.

Yoongi looked around your apartement, his long slender fingers trailing across old novels that had been shoved into the oak wooden bookcase, to never be used again.

Without thinking he had walked right into your room. You were facing away from the door. But he saw you. In all your glory.

Your black, lace underwear hooked onto your hips, your ass lightly bouncing as you hummed softly to yourself. He looked at the mirror tactically, to get a better view of those beautiful breasts.

Fuck he shouldn’t be doing this.

He forcefully pulled himself away from the door, walking quietly back to the living room, Yoongi slumped onto the sofa. taking a deep breath, he inhaled your sweet, musky scent. The house smelt just like you, like it was embedded with roses and pine.

“I’m sorry for taking more than five minutes” You chuckled, standing infront of him sheepishly.

He smirked, standing up before gesturing you towards the door. You nodded, grabbing the files that were intended to go with you this morning.


Yoongi had told you that you were going for lunch. Not to the fanciest restaurant in town.

“I’ll just have the steak, tender, with fries.” Yoongi nodded at the waiter, passing his menu to him.

“Can I just have the pasta?” You asked shyly, passing him the menu too, thanking him as he walked away.

“You don’t need to be so shy..” Yoongi laughed, clapping his hands together as he stared down at the files.

“Ah, yes” You placed the papers on the table and started to go through them with him, pointing out your mistakes and what you thought could be improved.

He loved the way you spoke. You talked too fast, and that made him smile. And whenever you asked what was so funny, he would just shake his head and waver his hand for you to carry on with the conversation.

The way your fingers fumbled with your bracelet whenever you admitted to a mis-correction in the work. It made him smile. The way your cheeks puffed out as you started to get more tipsy. It made him smile.

Everything you did, made him smile.

You.

You made him smile.


You both staggered out of the restaurant, giggles and chuckles muffled by the wind. Yoongi waved his hand out for a taxi. Once one had accepted the request, you both slid into the back.

“Fuck.” He hissed, shaking his head.

“I must have left my phone at yours.” He sighed, apologising for the inconvenience.

“Its okay, just come and get it” you shrugged, resting your head against the window. It felt cold against your heated skin.

You gave directions to the taxi driver, sitting quietly.

Yoongi glanced at you, he bit his lip. You looked so fucking hot. Your hair was stuck to your face from the heat inside of the restaurant, he bit his lip, looking away.


You gestured for him to come back inside of you apartment, throwing your coat onto the dining room chair carelessly. You turned to face him. You had to admit, within the past few hours, you had started to feel squirmish. There was no lying that you were drunk. But even when you were sober, you felt too comfortable with him.

How about you tease him?

Everyone teases, it cant be that bad, right?

You decided to go with the choice that could possibly make you lose your job. You looked at him, his black hair was messy from the heat and rain, his face was shiny from the humidity in the restaurant, he looked so inviting.

“Yoongi..” You smiled kindly, your voice seemed to had become higher within seconds of making your decision.

“Yes?” He looked at you, his brown eyes locking with yours, He was intimidating, even when you were drunk, you could still see the danger in those orbs.

“Its getting pretty late, I mean, you could bunk here for the night?” You stammered, your voice laced with alchohol.

“Are you sure? I mean I could just take a cab home.” He suggested, biting his lip as he smiled.

“I’m sure.” You gave a laugh, walking to the kitchen before grabbing a bottle of wine, “Wine?” You asked, stumbling slightly as you grabbed a wine glass, waiting for an answer.

“Of course.” Yoongi chuckled as he watched you from the sofa, smirking at your drunken state.

You poured the liquid, spilling some of it on the white kitchen top, causing a pool of red booze to form around the half filled glasses. Picking them up you brought them to the oak coffee table, leaving the spillage in the kitchen to miraculously clean itself.


It had been a couple of hours or so since Yoongi and you had stumbled into your apartment ‘under the influence’, and you both had started to sober up.

But that didn’t stop you two from flirting with each other.

During the hours the two of you had spent together, you had started to tease, subtly, unbuttoning the buttons on your shirt leisurely, until the crease of your breasts was exposed. You could see him starting to stare at your chest more and more throughout conversations, his eyes laced with lust and desire.

“Don’t do that.” You smirked, raising your eyebrow accusingly at the young man.

“Hm?” He snapped his head back up to your face, shaking away his devilish thoughts.

“Look at my chest while we’re talking about smoking in offices.” You chuckled, biting your lip purposefully

“That’s not the only thing that’s smoking tonight..” Yoongi gave a growl, his hand creeping up to your thigh.

“And what would that ‘thing’ be?” You breathed out, leaning in closer to him, you could feel his hot breath radiating off your nose.

“You.” He whispered, pressing his lips against yours, he pushed you back, his lips still connected. Your head hit the arm of the sofa softly. Yoongi laughed, his hand lay at the side of your head as he hovered over you, licking his lips in anticipation.

“Then cool me down…” You whispered back, cupping his face with your hands.

He winked at you, nodding slowly as his head started to lower, leaving a trail of colourful marks all the way down to your stomach. You gave moans of delight as the sweet touches sent shivers to your core.

His hands fumbled with your shirt, unbuttoning the last few buttons that were closed. they travelled to your jeans, he paused and looked up at you, “Do ever wear anything else?” He teased, sliding them off with no trouble.

You rolled your eyes at his sarcasm, your hands grasping his hair as he kissed your pelvis, his lips travelled down to your thighs. You blushed as he lay on his stomach, opening your legs and pushing the black lace material that covered your slick folds to the side. He observed the pink, juicy flesh, humming to himself.

“So vibrant Y/N..” He chuckled, spreading your lips with his fingers, your breath hitched as he did so. The two digits brushing against your clit, “Oh did that feel nice?” He raised an eyebrow, repeating the action.

You released a short moan, your hands gripping the sides of the sofa. He chuckled, his tongue licking a long stripe up your folds. You groaned, involuntarily spreading your legs wider.

“That feels good..” You whispered, biting your lip.

He mumbled against you, the vibrations making you arch your back. he released his lips from your heat, admiring your lower half for a couple of seconds before delving back in. You whined as he pushed his middle finger inside of you, the long digit sliding in and out of you, your juices shined on his finger.

His lips found their way back onto your core, engulfing the soft pink flesh that lay before him. A chorus of moans escaped you as he flicked his tongue into your delicious pink heat.

You were starting to feel lightheaded, and the tight coil that was once wrapped securely inside of you had began breaking and before you knew it, it snapped. You were practically drowning in pleasure, tingles travelling through all parts of your body at once. You exhaled, the hazy feeling of the aftermath of your orgasm coming to you all at once.

Looking down, you caught a glimpse of yoongi, his eyes looking up at you, his hands wrapped around your thighs and his lips, shining with your juices.

“Oh Yoongi…” You groaned as his licked his lips, the sound of his belt unbuckling making you sit up automatically. He looked at you, licking his lips hungrily. You smirked, grabbing his collar and pulling him towards you, your face inches away from Yoongi’s.

Your hands grasped at the material that covered his lower half, pulling them down eagerly. His cock proudly made a tent in his boxers. You licked your lips in anticipation, your fingers hooking under the cotton fabric, dragging them slowly down his toned legs, your nails scraping delicately against his warm pale skin.

The fabric pooled at his ankles, along with his pants. Your fingers started to trail back up his legs, you laid eyes on his sex, it had arose even more, his shaft an angry red. it was noticeable that he hadn’t had much action for a while
His head tilted back as you wrapped your hand around his member, slowly pumping him, a chorus of groans escaped him as your hand moved faster and gripped tighter by the second, along with that your confidence grew stronger as you cupped his balls, your mouth watered as you stared at the image infront of you, Yoongi, his cock being pumped by your small hand, his adams apple bobbing as he moaned, his toned arms and legs flexing as he tensed up. You knew he was close to his climax already.

Your tongue swirled around his tip, making him grasp your hair, tugging at it desperately, “Oh baby.” He groaned, looking down at you, you looked so fucking hot with your pretty little mouth wrapped around his hard cock, it was a sight to remember.

You tried your best to take him all, but you started to gag, your eyes watering, instead you used you wrapped your hand once more around the length you couldn’t take. You started to move your head and hand at the same pace, your lips dark and wet with saliva, hollowing your cheeks intensely.

Yoongi releases a groan, he was so close to spilling his see, the overstimulation that you were causing him made him wince. He growled, before pulling you away from his member, you were so focused on sucking him off you gasped in shock as you were turned around and bent over, his hand made contact with your ass, the slight sting making you moan with pleasure, you were still soaked from before, he pulled your panties down, you couldn’t see him but you could hear him sucking on his finger, the loud ‘pop’ indicating that his mouth wasn’t the only thing that his finger was going into.

The digit slipped inside of you easily, sliding it in and out the pleasure that waved through you as he slipped another finger in, stretching you out. His fingers leaving you and replacing themselves with his cock, he teased you slightly, lingering around you entrance, pressing against your lips until he slipped inside of you.

The feeling was unimaginable, Yoongi didn’t know it was going to be like this. Warm and wet. And good. So good, to be surrounded by slick and heat, the tightness of you putting the right amount of pressure on his dick to make him thrust into you like there was no tomorrow. You groaned and moaned, your fingers digging into the carpet as he quickened his pace, slapping your backside after every few thrusts.

He grunted, low growls releasing from the back of his throat as the sound of your body viciously smacking against his rang in his ears. Your vision darkened as you reached your peak, ripples of pleasure wavering through you effortlessly. Your juices dripped down your thighs.

Yoongi was nearing to his high, one final thrust and he started to feel dazed, his breaths getting heavier as he came, the hot white seed shooting out of him, and into you, he pulled out a white string of his cum was the only thing attaching you two.

The white liquid trickled down your thighs, mixing with your juices. He stood up straight, rushing to the bathroom. You stays there on all fours, unsure on what to do.

He came rushing back a towel in his hand, cleaning you up he tusked at the red marks he had made on your ass cheeks, he smoothed them out, cooling the stinging marks. “oh shit’.” he mumbled about the imprint he had left, you laughed shaking it off.

“Its fine, I enjoyed it.”

“Did you?” he raised an eyebrow, throwing the towel behind him, you turned over, laying down on the carpet, exhausted.

“I did.”

McQueen and Mater Headcanons
  • After Doc passed away, Mater became extremely attentive towards McQueen - way more than usual. For the first couple of weeks after it was mostly just staying by his side, periodically asking him if he needed anything, et cetera. When Sally started to mimic that behavior, McQueen realized how much he loved the attention they were doting on him - to him it was a more special type of attention, the type he’d never experienced before moving to Radiator Springs.
  • Mater once challenged McQueen to create a “tall tale” of his own and, instead of making one up on the spot and telling it to him, McQueen took out a piece of paper and began jotting down ideas. He started tossing concepts to Mater, who started adding his own input, and by evening that day they realized that they’d started writing a bad fanfic about each other. By the end of it both were in tears from laughing so hard at the terrible dialogue and cliches.
  • After the “Ghostlight” prank incident, Mater and McQueen began a full-on prank war, trying to outdo each other. The pranks only kept escalating until finally, after McQueen almost accidentally set Mater’s tow hook on fire, Sheriff gave both of them a good talking to to make them stop.
  • McQueen’s racer friends are often stunned at how close Mater and McQueen are - so much so that some have wondered if McQueen actually broke up with Sally so he could be in a relationship with Mater. A younger racer once talked to McQueen after a race and, after referring to Mater as “your boyfriend”, McQueen just lightly corrected them that they are just really close friends (and that he’s too deeply in love with a certain blue Porsche)
  • McQueen has no problem swearing if he hurts himself or if he’s angry enough, contrasting Mater, who never swears at all. There was one time, however, when Mater got frustrated enough to mutter “Dammit…” on accident and they both stared at each other like Mater had committed a grave atrocity. Mater couldn’t stop apologizing and promised he’d eat a bar of soap later to make up for it, an idea that McQueen quickly shut down.
  • At first McQueen wasn’t too keen on physical touch, mostly from being alone for most of his life with no one to hug or anything. Mater, cuddly by nature, wasn’t aware of this until McQueen let him know during a tackle-hug that he wasn’t entirely comfortable. Mater quickly understood and, from then on, he always asked McQueen if he could hug him, which McQueen greatly appreciated. Eventually, as he got used to the town and its residents, McQueen found himself enjoying the physical contact more, though mostly from Mater or Sally.
  • McQueen used to like to boast that no movie had ever made him cry - then Mater watched Up with him. Mater had to pause the movie and try to calm him down for a solid fifteen minutes.
  • what she says: i'm fine
  • what she means: lightning mcqueen is fucking dead rip in pepperoni sweet prince 2006-2016 he was 10 years old mcgone but not mcforgotten when he died all things soft and beautiful and bright would be buried with him another fallen angel forever in our heartsgoodbye brave and majestic warrior you will be missed he is doing burnouts with the angels now he will kichaw in our hearts forever and when we all thought 2016 couldnt get any worse it took yet another innocent life and the prophecy was fulfilled if you're going hard enough left youll find yourself turning right - doc hudson an american hero life was his highway he died a hero our lord and savior died for our sins RIP you beautiful carbon fiber bastard
S’agapo

Summary [REQUEST]: Great! I wanted to request an AU where the reader has a family member in the hospital, and Bucky is a doctor there. And the reader is really depressed and scared (she also hates hospitals). She is at the hospital basically every day, and Bucky and her get close and then maybe some fluffy romance ignites? Thank you! And if you don’t like his AU then that’s okay. :)

Warnings: some angst, talk of suicide, extreme amounts of fluff

Word count: 4,7k - relax, get settled, have a cup of tea or a glass of wine. this is gonna be a fluff fest.

IT’S MY BIRTHDAYY!!! YAY! Happy Valentine’s Day everyone!

MASTERLIST | REQUEST | TAGLIST

Originally posted by thespoilerwitchblog

The cold, pale walls of the hospital room where your sister laid disgusted you. You hated hospitals. They reminded you of death; the sanitized smell like someone just spent hours cleaning up a huge mess and the staff in their boring blue scrubs, you hated it all. You were soaking in a hot bath when your mother called you and told you to rush to the hospital – your sister had been in an accident. You live outside the city so it took you 45 agonizing minutes to enter the city and get to the hospital where you found your mother shaking, tears streaming down her face. A car accident, nobody’s fault, just terrible weather and driving over the speed limit, until she crashed. You didn’t want to be here but you definitely weren’t leaving your precious sister’s side. You didn’t know who needed you the most – her or your mother, who was a complete wreck.

You sat next to her bed, your head resting on your perched up knees, arms wrapped around them. Your mother had finally fallen asleep as she was now resting on the couch across the bed. You were fatigued yourself, your eyes constantly falling shut as you fought a tiresome battle. You were about to give in and rest for a bit when the door suddenly opened and in walked a man wearing a white lab coat. You shot up from your chair, taking a step towards the man to assess him. He had a kind face with an uncomfortable look on it. He was tall, almost towering over you. Chocolate colored hair, longer, tied in a neat bun and a few days worth of stubble. Your mother was woken by the commotion as she stood up as well and stood next to you.

’’Are you the doctor?’’ she asked. 

The man nodded and offered his hand. ’’I’m Doctor Barnes. How are you both feeling? Can I get you anything?’’ 

Keep reading

Cars 3 Hero Ending
  • [Lightning is victorious against Jackson and secures his place in the racing world once again]
  • Lightning: [to Cruz] If there's anything you ever need, just let me know.
  • Cruz: Actually... there is one thing...
  • [Lightning and Mater take Cruz tractor tipping that same night]
my car got towed and it's $125 to get it back

i have barely enough to get it back but that’s. a lot of money.

i’m doing writing commissions. here’s my fics. $2 for 100 words. i’ll do nsfw fic, no kink is too weird. all pairings are fine except for the obviously fucked up ones, mainly incest or pedophilia. i can do heavy fic but only as darkfic ie no romanticized abuse

payment through paypal before i start writing. your choice whether it’s published anywhere else.

i’ll also beta, $2 for 100 words, can also edit schoolwork and such.

pls reblog?

Dont want to control your brat? I'll have your car towed

So I went to the doctor today for a check up physical. Well a woman parks in a spot near the door that says “No parking anytime. Car will be towed at owner’s expense” or something along those lines. Well she rushed in with 2 kids so I gave her the benefit of the doubt that maybe something major happened. Well I head inside and find them in the waiting room and nothing seems wrong. I sit there and soon regret forgetting my earbuds because her 2 brats were making so much noise and she wouldnt tell them to stop. Other people looked annoyed too and someone spoke up “please control your children” which she replied “they are children they make noise!”.

Well after a dreadful 30 minutes or so the noise did not stop. A staff even asked her politely to quiet the kids so she said a half assed “use your indoor voices” and of course that didnt do shit. So I knew what I had to do. I went over to the receptionist (or whatever you call the people at those booths to sign in) and told her, quite audibly too, that there was a car parked out there illegally. And I know the woman heard me because she was giving me death glares but I pretended not to notice. I was soon called into my appointment. Afterwards I come out to the waiting room to see the woman’s red faced and tears, kids still be obnoxious brats. I wonder what happened so when I go outside, sure enough the car is gone

TLDR; Woman illegally parks and disturbs everyone with her obnoxious kids, I get her car towed

TalesFromThePizzaGuy: Miscellaneous stories about my time as a delivery driver.

I delivered for two separate businesses in two separate towns nearly a decade ago. Nothing mind blowingly interesting to report, but I do have a few decent stories.

TL;DR: Smoked some weed, almost died, wrecked and abandoned a shitty car, pissed off a skateboarder, touched a butt, killed a deer.

Story one: Took an order to a house on the outskirts of town. Delivery instructions were to go to the garage. Get to the garage, it’s a man-cave of sorts. Customer is a 30-something dude, clearly stoned. Immediately notice a joint sitting on the table. As he hands me the money he says “Money’s a little tight right now, wish I could tip you more, man.” I point to the joint and reply, “No worries. You could burn that with me.” He goes “Oh shit! I thought I put everything away!” We have a good laugh, we smoke the doob, he ends up pulling a huge bag of pot out of the fridge and sells me an 8th. Good times!

Story Two: Had a driver in the oncoming lane fail to yield and turned left right in front of me. Wish I had a dashcam because I pulled the most epic evasive maneuver of all time, avoiding a serious collision by a matter of inches. Words cannot do this moment justice. It’s one of the proudest moments of my life.

Story Three: Same town, a few weeks later. Wasn’t super familiar with this town, hadn’t lived there long, had been GPSing every address. This particular order was to an apartment complex I had been to a few times, and I knew there was a shortcut through the mall parking lot. It was dark and raining that night. I attempted to take the shortcut. Noticed a few seconds too late that I was barreling into the dead end of a 3 way intersection. Tried to brake and steer out of the way, but hit a curb at a roughly 45 degree angle going around 30mph. Completely obliterated my front passenger side tire and wheel. Had the car towed to a shop. Spent two hours the next day at a pull-and-pay junkyard trying to find a replacement wheel. Took it to the shop. Wrong size. Two more hours at the junkyard. Back to the shop. Wheel fits but the collision bent my control arm. Tire would rub against the inside of the wheel well whenever I turned left. Horrible screeching noise at all times. The wheel literally fell off while I was driving it a few weeks later. Grabbed all my valuable belongings (which included a guitar + small amplifier), called my friends to come get me and started walking. Left the car there, never saw it again.

Story Four: New town, new business. Some teenager seemingly on purpose flung his skateboard into the road as I was driving by. Ran it over, broke the deck in half. Yelled “dumbass!” out the window and kept driving. I get back from my next delivery and the kid and his mom are standing in the lobby yelling at the manager. They’re accusing me of running it over on purpose. Demanding a new skateboard. I was agitated by the lack of honesty and sense of entitlement so I reply, “what if I need new tires? You gonna pay for those?” She didn’t like that very much. Rest of the details are hazy, but the owner ended up buying the kid a new skateboard. The kid came out ahead on that because he only needed a deck but got a whole setup.

Story Five: One of the servers lived in a neighborhood about half a mile away from the store. We had a little fling. If she wasn’t working, I’d routinely stop by her house on my way back from a delivery and fool around for a bit. Good times!

Story Six: Hit a deer on the way to some apartment complex. Two lane highway, busy traffic in both directions. Had somebody tailgating me pretty hard. No idea how the deer even got half way across the road, but he came from the left. Clipped his back legs pretty square as he was jumping across the road, he spun at least 720 degrees through the air and landed on the shoulder. Just kept driving, didn’t even touch my brakes. Had to look hilarious from the guy behind me’s perspective. Pizza guy is on a mission! Get to the delivery, my grill is destroyed. Deer fur stuck in my hood. Pieces of my bumper hanging on by a thread. Got a decent tip. Filed a police report. Insurance ended up doing roughly $3000 worth of body work, I didn’t have to pay a dime.

Thanks for reading!

By: Wolfanini

askusanythingavengers  asked:

Lady today wanted to know where I worked so she could report me to my boss. Why? Cuz she was parked illegaly, blocking the alley by my house, and I called her a lazy bitch for it. I told her if she tried, I'd call the cops (who are right across the street cuz I live by the precinct) and have her car towed for illegal parking. The kicker? There's a parking lot 2ft from where she was parked. And I still haven't figured out what calling her a bitch at home has to do with my work xD

That’s a new one. Customers are always finding new ways to evolve into even bigger anus infections. I’m both impressed and annoyed that there is no bottom to the pit of their bad behavior. -Abby

anonymous asked:

Can you do Yullen +30? I can just see Allen awkwardly telling Kanda his feelings this way ☺️

Late, but this was so nice to do!! Thanks for the request hun ♥

Too quick, mumbled into his scarf

Allen breathed what little warm air was left in him out, exhaling hot on his red tinged fingertips. He drew his knees up to his chest, feet flat on the car seat, and felt Kanda’s side-eyed glare.

It was too cold, Allen thought defiantly. Kanda’s heater had broken and it was chilled enough the windows were iced over. Let him say something.

But Kanda didn’t, merely decelerating as they approached a red light. The car idled, and Allen wondered why, when his car stalled at four in the morning it had been this grumpy asshole Allen had thought of and not, say, friendly cheery Lavi, or understanding Lenalee?

Well. He knew. Knew it as sure as he did the bill the wrecker was going to be sending him as they towed his car away.

“Rotten luck,” Allen grumbled, and Kanda scoffed.

“No, not rotten luck,” he corrected sharply, driving forward as the light cast green rays on falling snow flakes. “I told you to get your engine checked.”

“Just because the light is on doesn’t mean you have to,” Allen said, the proud owner of a dime a dozen used cars that always proclaimed to have something wrong with them. “It was just bad timing!”

There was another humph and they fell silent. Allen wound his scarf tighter and drew his knees closer, wrapping his arms around them. He hadn’t been prepared to sit in an ice box for forty five minutes and he was paying for it with violent shaking.

“Oh Jesus, just, here-” still driving, Kanda reached back with one arm and hauled something huge, cloth, and bulky from his backseat. Allen squawked indignantly as it landed on him in heaps, hastily rearranging it so he could breath.

“What is this?” Allen asked, finally peering over the edge and bringing it to just under his chin. It smelled like crisp winter chill, Kanda’s cologne a few days old, and the comfort of Kanda’s home. Warm. He huddled under it, tucking himself in every where he could. Without thinking he ducked his nose back under and closed his eyes, inhaling.

“The blanket Lena made me bring,” Kanda said waspishly, and Allen laughed lightly. This was from the unseasonably warm weather they’d had a few weeks ago - nice enough to picnic in, even. It had smelled nice then, too, lulling Allen into a light nap under the bright sun.

He settled and looked back through the windshield. It wasn’t snowing hard enough to warrant the wipers, but occasionally Kanda flicked them on to brush away what snow clung over intervals of time. The road still stretched long and dark, empty, and Allen hunched over.

He’d been the first person Allen had thought of, and despite the hour, the distance, the cold, his own broken car, Kanda had come.

He laughed at his own stupid tears that sprung up, because he wasn’t used to mattering enough to warrant such kindness.

“Are you crying?” Kanda demanded in disbelief. Well. As much kindness as Kanda could give.

Spades more than Allen deserved, really. “It’s just,” he sniffed, rubbed his nose, “I don’t know. It’s late and it’s cold and your car and it was so sudden but here you are and I didn’t expect you to or anyone really but here I’m sitting and you gave me your blanket and it smells like you and it’s warm, and-”

His breath hitched on a hiccup and he pulled the blanket high enough to cover his eyes. “And I just kind of realized I love you.”

He was a bit disappointed the car didn’t swerve a single iota. It remained horribly still, and Allen wondered if he’d been obvious and Kanda had already known, or if Kanda simply had nerves of steel.

He was so lost in his own self-doubt he didn’t notice the car pulling to the side and stopping until Kanda was harshly yanking the blanket down, forcing Allen to meet his eyes. They were an alarming blue, vivid against his chill-nipped cheeks and nose, against all the gray of the winter storm outside.

“What did you say?” Kanda felt impossibly close, sounded horribly loud. Allen shied away, not ashamed, no, but suddenly terrified of Kanda’s possible response.

“Nothing!” Allen said hurriedly, glancing out the passenger window, darting to all the spaces between the clinging snowflakes. “It’s cold! Don’t stop,” he added, feebly.

“No,” Kanda said, turning fully in his seat. “What did you say?”

Curling in, Allen laced his fingers beneath the blanket, chapped skin pulling at his knuckles. He’d just sighed when Kanda grasped his chin and forcibly turned him. He wondered if Kanda could feel the heat of his blush.

“I love you!” Allen snapped, almost irritably. “God, I do, even though you’re an asshole, and you curse a lot, and you’re impatient, but you’re here for me of all people and I. I’m.”

Don’t cry, he thought to himself fiercely. Don’t you dare cry!

But Kanda didn’t reject him, or shove him away, or even speak crass words.

He leaned in and covered Allen’s trembling mouth with his own, the first spot of warmth Allen had felt in ages.

Relief pooled from him and his entire countenance relaxed, and despite the cold snap Kanda’s lips were impossibly soft. Allen returned the kiss as if afraid, but the fear followed his tension and vanished into the winter air, replaced by warmth, relief, love.

When Kanda finally pulled away Allen couldn’t help smiling at the blush rising in his cheeks, too.

lin manuel miranda x reader (help)

part 1 of ???

prompt: your car breaks down and you ask lin for help

pairing: lin manuel miranda x reader

warnings: swearing lol, mentions of drugs

word count: 1143


“Fuck!” you screamed, banging the wheel of your car and receiving a few looks from people around you. This has to be a joke. You tried to start your car again, but no luck. All you hear was a low rumble and then a sputter.

You were on your way to your mom’s house for your sister’s engagement party in Connecticut, when you decided to pull over and grab a cup of coffee. One cup turned into two and two into three, but honestly? You were just doing anything you could not to deal with the dozens of, “When are you going to settle down, Y/N?” and “You’re not getting any younger, Y/N.”

So you sat in your car and waited. It was mid October and as though things couldn’t get worse? It started to snow. Knowing your car was about to get cold very quickly, you decided to retreat back to the coffee shop. 

Settling back into your booth, you texted your sister to tell her you got held up and would be a while. Immediately after sending the text, your phone died. Fanfuckingtastic.

The cafe was quiet; only a three other people occupying it. There was a - rather intimidating - blonde girl who was furiously typing away on her phone. There was a small redhead who looked nice enough to ask for help, but just as you worked up the courage to go talk to her, she packed up her things and left. 

Last there was a man, practically curled over his laptop, headphones in, and nursing his third cup of coffee. You bit your lip. Maybe you should just call a tow and tell your sister you wouldn’t be going at all. Despite this, you found yourself walking towards the guy.

Once you got closer, he looked up at you. A small smile on his lips formed and his eyes lightened. 

“Hi.”

He laughed a little, “Hey.”

“Can you give me a light?” you asked.

He instantly seemed to draw back, “’M sorry. I don’t smoke,” he started to put his head phone back in when you interjected.

“Wait! No, like a -” you randomly gestured, looking for the word. He ran a hand through his hair, making your heart flutter. “A hit!”

His brows furrowed, “I still don’t smoke. Sorry,” again, she stopped him.

“No! For my car!”

His face relaxed when he realized what you meant, “A jump?” he asked, laughter bubbling out from him.

You nodded, then retracting what you said blurted, “Oh my God, I sound like a drug addict, don’t I?” You covered you face with your hands, utterly embarrassed.

“You know what, I’m gonna go. Thank you,” you groaned as you started to walk away.

He giggled but reached for your hand, stopping you from leaving, “Wait, wait. It’s okay.”

You turned around with your cheeks burning. He had taken his glasses off and shut his computer. 

“Is you car dead?” he asked, trying to relieve your shame. You nodded, sitting down as he gestured you into the booth.

“I was on my way to my sister’s engagement party and I think I left the light on when I came in for a cup of coffee -”

“Or three,” he joked. Your eyes went wide - how much humiliation could you cause yourself in one day? You shut your eyes and willed it away. He only laughed and took your hand again.

“Who am I to judge?” he added, pointing to his scattered cups. You laughed. He extended his hand once again to you, this time to shake, “I’m Lin.”

“Y/N,” you offered. 

“Well, Y/N, you need a jump?” You nodded. He packed his things into a backpack and started walking outside, you trailing close behind. He then pulled his car around in front of yours. Lin grabbed the cables from his car and matched them up. His snow covered skin glistened as the night got darker. You checked your watch: 6:09. You were pushing it.

However, time wasn’t the only thing failing you today - luck was right behind it. The car wouldn’t jump. Lin tried twice more before giving you a sorry look.

“Can I treat you to a cup of coffee while you wait for AAA at least?” he asked as you two walked in.

“Treat me? You’re the one who went out in the snow to help a drug addict,” you giggled.

Glee covered his face as he let out a deep laughed, “Fine. You can treat this time.”

Your mind immediately wrapped around his words. This time? As in there would be a next time? You didn’t exactly expect a next time - you were blabbering and nervous and messy. Were you really to blame though? Who were you to deny that you were unbelievably attracted to him?


The two of you sat and chatted until AAA came. He told you how he was working on a new musical.

“What about?”

“You’re going to laugh.”

You smirked, “Who am I to judge?” you teased, using his previous comment.

He held his hands up in surrender, “It’s about the founding fathers. Particularly Hamilton. It’s rap and hip hop.”

“You can’t be serious.” 

“If you wanna get ahead, sometimes you’ve got to do the unexpected.” You smiled.

You told him how your mother was breathing down your neck before and how terrified you were now that your sister was engaged. Lin laughed, “I know the feeling.”

The conversation was easy and made your heart race. He was ridiculously smart. Like, really fucking smart. He was witty and quick and sarcastic and every time you heard a car pull up, you got nervous, not wanting the conversation to end. 

Regardless of your desires (luck still wasn’t playing fair), AAA came, ready to tow your car back to CT where your local dealer would check it out. 

Lin stood up to walk you to the door. 

He looked a little disappointed, “When are you coming back to New York?” he fumbled. It was odd to see him nervous - like your places had been traded. 

“Probably Friday, why?” you asked, longing for a single answer.

“I liked talking to you. And you’re gorgeous. And I want to steal your drugs.” You laughed, but proceeded to nod and add your number to his phone. 

“Thank you so much, for everything.” You smiled. 

He leaned down to hug you. Still, just before getting in the taxi that would follow the tow, you pushed yourself up on your tippy toes to press a kiss to his cheek.

“See you Friday?” you hoped. 

He nodded so hard you thought his neck might snap.

My Shot

A/N: A request where the reader was a member of the BAU, but took a hiatus to pursue a lifelong dream, in this case, singing in a Broadway play (Hamilton). The team comes to see the show again near the end of her run, and she tells them that she’ll be coming back to work. @coveofmemories

                                                             —-

Growing up, you’d had two passions in life, singing and law enforcement. Complete and total opposites - but you couldn’t help it. Those two passions had forever been emblazoned in your soul, but you’d always steered more toward law enforcement because the likelihood of a job in the field was more likely than striking it big in music. 

But one day, about nine months earlier, an old friend of yours, who’d always known how much you loved singing, asked if you wanted to try out for Hamilton: The Musical, because she could get you in for an audition. You figured why the fuck not. Since you loved to sing and never really got the chance to do it, you assumed this would be as close as you’d ever get to the music business - a Broadway try-out.

Much to your surprise, you got called for a second try-out, and then a final one. “Wait…you want me to play Eliza Hamilton?” you asked, the reality not actually sinking in. You would never get an opportunity like this again, but you worked full-time for the BAU - and you did love your job. 

The day you were offered the role, you asked them to give you a couple of days to think about. Thankfully, they did - giving you a deadline of three days later before they would offer it to the next person on the list. When you’d walked into the BAU to tell the team about where you’d been going on those nights they asked you to come to dinner and what had actually transpired, they were all ecstatic for you. “But what am I supposed to do?” you’d asked. “I’m a profiler with the BAU, not a Broadway singer.” Were you supposed to just up and leave? That didn’t feel right. But you also didn’t want to give up this once-in-a-lifetime opportunity.

“Talk to Chief Strauss,” Hotch had suggested much to your surprise. “Ask her to liaise with us for the entirety of your run, that way you’re technically still employed and in what is it, six months, you can come back as long as you want to.”

“Really?” Everyone had nodded their heads, saying that if this was a passion for you, then you should try and find a way to make it happen; you’d regret it if you didn’t. And you would have. But thankfully, Chief Strauss had been okay with the idea, insisting she be invited to watch the show along with the rest of the team.

Fast forward to right now, five and a half months into your six-month run, and the team had been to see you twice already, and tonight they were coming for a third time. JJ was bringing Will and Henry (who’d never been before), Emily and Penelope would be there, Hotch would be bringing Jack (who’d also never seen it), Rossi would be bringing a cigar he could smoke during intermission, Derek would be there with his date for the night, and Spencer would be coming along with Chief Strauss in tow; her car had broken down and Spencer lived closest to her. 

Although you hadn’t heard much about the book or play before you tried out, you fell more in love with the musical every night you performed. The musical about the life of one of America’s founding fathers, Alexander Hamilton, transcended its time period, making valid points that still reflected the world you lived in today. And the music you got to sing, well, it was amazing. You’d always imagined that singing the same songs day in and day out would cause that feeling of elation to go away, but it still hadn’t left you. “Hello, my loves,” you said, dressed in your opening outfit as your friends got there early, as they had both times before. “Looking forward to seeing this for the third time?”

“Absolutely,” Garcia said, already looking like she was about to cry. After both performances, she’d done the fanning-your-face-so-your-makeup-doesn’t-run move, failing miserably both times to keep herself from looking like a raccoon. Spencer gave you a hug and a kiss on the cheek, something that had only started recently (making you wonder if seeing you in this new light made him feel differently toward you). By the time you’d given everyone a hug and kiss, thanking them for coming to see you yet again, it was nearly time to start, so you headed backstage, leaving them in the front row. 

As the show started, you danced backstage while waiting for your time to shine. After The Schuyler Sisters, Helpless was your next song. That one was always fun.

Grab my sister, and
Whisper, “Yo, this
One’s mine.”

My sister made her way across the room to you
And I got nervous, thinking “What’s she gonna do?”
She grabbed you by the arm, I’m thinkin’ “I’m through”
Then you look back at me and suddenly I’m
Helpless!

The show continued on, with you being ushered on and off stage with ease. At this point, after more than 100 shows, you knew exactly where you had to be and when. You even some of the lines that weren’t your own. Without a doubt, your favorite song to sing, was Burn - the song Eliza sang after finding out about Alexander’s betrayal.

I’m erasing myself from the narrative
Let future historians wonder how Eliza
Reacted when you broke her heart
You have torn it all apart
I am watching it
Burn
Watching it burn
The world has no right to my heart
The world has no place in our bed
They don’t get to know what I said
I’m burning the memories
Burning the letters that might have redeemed you
You forfeit all rights to my heart
You forfeit the place in our bed
You sleep in your office instead
With only the memories
Of when you were mine
I hope that you burn

After finishing the song, you always received roaring applause, your team members the ones soaking in the most tears. It always warmed your heart to see how excited they were for you. Your heart would always feel lighter than air as you left the stage, and by the time the end came around, and you walked onto the stage to a standing ovation along with the rest of your cast, you’d be on cloud nine, insistent you’d never be able to come off it. “How are you all?” you asked, descending the stage stairs as you walked over to the team. Penelope was once again in full raccoon makeup, composing herself while everyone else gave you a hug. 

“Phenomenal once again,” Morgan said. “Who knew you had such rhythm?” He’d said the same thing the first two times, but apparently it still stunned him that you had rhythm.

“I did, you just never believed me.”

Emily stared toward the stage in awe. “I can’t believe how seamlessly you fit in with the BAU and here. It makes no sense. It’s so different.” 

“I’m just weird like that,” you replied. “It’s been amazing. They did actually offer to keep me here for another six-month run.”

“Really?” JJ said. “That’s amazing.”

It was flattering to have been offered, but you had already declined. You could tell your voice was starting to strain and didn’t want to crap out in the middle of another run, and more than that, you did miss your team and your job. Singing was a passion, probably your biggest one, but your job was who you were, and you didn’t want to be away from it any longer. “It is. And I’m flattered, but I already told them no. I miss you guys too much.”

“Thank god,” Penelope said hugging you, finally composed after her cry fest. “We’ve missed you too. Occasionally, you might have to sing for us though.”

“Deal.”