imagine jack and bitty come out by simply not hiding their relationship!!
the Samwell team being super protective of their bros
the Providence team being super cool with it (and in some cases being lowkey passive agressively protective)
but also the tabloids being so straight
“nhl superstar Jack Zimmermann was seen yesterday leaving his penthouse apartment with best friend and roommate Eric “Bitty” Bittle. They were later seen at lunch with a young woman with whom jack seemed very close to. A simple lunch with an old friend or the best friend meeting the girlfriend lunch? Who knows, but one thing’s for sure, Zimmermann seems happy and ready to give his all for the season’s first game this Saturday. #LetsGoFalcs”
also, the Falcs winning the Stanley Cup, Bitty runs over to Jack on the ice and they stand there hugging, exchanging i love yous and “im so proud of you, honey!”
jack getting married to bitty
the media still hasnt caught on that they’re together
it’s only been 4 years you know
it’s not as if they’re hiding it
the media’s just dense af
“Jack Zimmermann spotted with best friend and roommate Eric Bittle and their 3 children. It appears that the pair has decided to add another kid to their little family as they were headed back to their car after meeting with a foster child. These two are absolute #bromance goals and we wish them luck!”
the Samwell team and the Falcs mocking news media outlets!!!
“Zimmermann and husband spotted with their children, bro goals!!”
I feel like a lot of autistic people have a lot of trouble driving and getting their license. For many people that’s okay, there’s nothing wrong with that, y'all are valid in every possible way. Unfortunately, many of us live in cities where public transportation might as well not exist, in food deserts, in situations where we do not have people who can drive us places, in cities which make bike riding life-threatening and sometimes illegal. I would like to reiterate: there is absolutely nothing wrong with not being able to drive. The fucked up thing is a system which forces people to drive. This is intended to be suggestions for autistic people in similar situations to mine: in a food desert, no public transit, not enough money to pay for uber, etc.
Tips for driving while autistic and things to be prepared for:
-if you start dissociating and don’t feel that you can drive safely, pull over if you can. If there’s no clear place to pull over, get as far to the side as possible and turn your hazards on (this is the button with two red triangles, one inside of the other)
-keep plenty of water in the car. Keep food in the car too, but to prevent mice and rats from being tempted to investigate, keep the food in tightly sealed containers.
-if you miss the turn, it’s ok. I promise, it’s ok. Just take the next turn. Usually you’ll still be able to get to your destination by taking the next turn, and if not, it’ll give you a chance to pull over and re-evaluate or turn around.
-people will use some body language to indicate what they are intending to do. A waving hand means, “you go ahead of me.” A still hand, palm out means, “I’ll go first/thank you.”
-if you’re driving down a street too narrow for two cars, and you meet a car going in the opposite direction, just pull over for a second. Or if it’s super narrow, someone may have to back out of the street. It’s not a big deal. Try to be nice in those situations and they usually will be too. For that matter, sometimes I have to swerve slightly into the lane of incoming traffic because of bicycles and that happens too. People around you will do their best to compensate, but try to make sure you’re giving them enough time and warning for them to compensate (use your turn signal or hazards and spend as little time in the wrong lane as possible).
-no one wants to crash. Usually if you do something stupid the people around you will compensate and avoid you, although you might get some honks and middle fingers (yeah, mentally prepare for that)
-in terms of speed limit, it’s usually better to match the cars around you. The actual speed on a road is usually about 5mph over the posted speed limit.
-it doesn’t matter if you are going 15mph over the speed limit. There are still assholes who will tailgate you. (Meaning they will drive really close behind your car attempting to intimidate you into driving faster) The key thing to remember is that they also don’t want to crash, which means all they will do is intimidate. Because I’m an asshole and I hate tailgaters, I usually slow down when someone starts tailgating me. Remember: do not start driving faster. Police will ticket the person in front (aka you) because that person is “setting the speed” and they will not ticket the tailgater.
-parking is stressful, especially in downtown areas. Be prepared to wander for a while looking for parking and factor that into your drive time.
-some places no longer require you to learn to parallel park. Please learn anyway if you feel able. It will make finding parking a lot easier later on.
-bicycles will always be where you least expect them. Always. Especially if it’s illegal for them to be there. Just be prepared for them being anywhere and everywhere and not following the laws of traffic at all.
-the first time it rains or snows in the fall/winter, literally everyone will have forgotten how to drive. It’s a thing. Be prepared for the roads to be chaotic
-the most difficult part is the test itself. That’s the part where you disregard everything I’ve said about how driving actually works and just obey the letter of the law the best you can. Don’t forget you can retake the test if need be. Also, there will often be reviews online talking about which DMV in your area has the easiest test route.
-I try to do meditation breathing a lot while I’m driving under stressful circumstances. It’s very helpful for me
I hope this is helpful. If anyone else has any other tips for driving while autistic, I would be glad to hear them.
Edit: I can’t believe I forgot this! I’ve found that certain types of stimming can be somewhat dangerous while driving. I’d say chewing stims are fine, vocal stims are cool, but I would hold off on the visual and physical motion stims until you’ve had quite a bit of driving practice. Auditory stims are somewhat ok, but be careful to make sure you can still hear sirens and stuff (also earbuds/headphones while driving are illegal in many places)
-turn signals can basically function as a way of telling people around you “hey, pay attention! I’m about to do something!” Even if you’re just changing lanes or are swerving around an open car door you can use them to communicate that people should be ready for you to do something unexpected.
-traffic will stop much more quickly than you expect. Always keep an eye on the brake lights ahead of you.
(Hey, why is Jack the one who’s always literal royalty? Let’s get some royal!Bitty love up in here! So, Royal!Bitty AU -or- ‘How do you play a contact sport with bodyguards?’)
Now that Jack and Bitty have come out, nosy journalists are trying to dig up anything they can on the Bittles.
It doesn’t take long for someone to find one of the family’s most guarded secrets: that MooMaw was the secret half-daughter of the recently deceased King of *jackhammer sound*.
Bitty’s great uncle, the childless, current King of *car horn*, wants to meet his long-lost American sister and her family. King Whatshisface takes a shine to Suzanne and Coach and Bitty and basically tries to repatriate the entire Bittle clan.
In true Princess Diaries fashion, Bitty gets made up and over as the country’s new media darling, and everyone is calling him ‘Prince Eric’ (even though he’s technically a Duke? Maybe?), and suddenly Jack is the one dealing with an entirely new type of attention because he’s dating the world’s first openly gay royal.
**Bonus: Jack gets all blushy and stupid calling Bitty ‘Prince Charming’, and Bob keeps trying to get Coach to knight him
-Sally feeling so helpless as her son takes on the world, and there’s nothing she can do, but he’s just a child and it’s not his job.
-But she doesn’t say anything to him, because he shouldn’t think she’s anything except caring and loving. Because anger is not something she should feel.
-Percy coming home, and Sally feeling so, so mad. Not at him, at the world, and the gods and everyone expect Percy. Everyone except her damaged, little boy.
-The first day he’s back sleeping in his own bed, she sleeps through the whole night without a nightmare.
-Waking up, and that dreadful feeling filling her stomach “where is my son?” but he’s there, he’s with her and he’s safe.
-She cooks so much food, and cleans his clothes and does everything she can because now she finally has someone to do it for.
-And Percy worries for her, and feels so guilty for the stress he’s put her through but he’s “my son, and I don’t care how stressful things are, I’ll always look after you.”
-Things settle down, and when the house is too silent she doesn’t panic that he’s gone. They have karaoke baking sessions together, and Annabeth supplies baking advice (and singing tips).
-Sally realizes Annabeth gets the same anxiety she does sometimes, and soon all 3 of them travel to therapy together in Paul’s car.
-Sally meets the demigods, and adopts them all as extra children (especially nico). She and Jason read tabloids together, Sally and Hazel write and draw with each other and give constructive criticism. Frank is her favorite (not that she’d ever say it out loud). They have movie nights, and Sally loves the bustle and activity and finally being able to look after them.
-She’s relieved to meet Reyna, who is responsible and is the only person (aside from Annabeth) she trusts to keep her children safe.
-She and Percy turn the apartment into a makeshift hostel for demigods that would otherwise stay at camp for years on end.
-Sally being everyone’s mom.
AND PLEASE LET ME KNOW WHAT YOU THINK IN THE COMMENTS
‘Oh my God. What the hell am I doing?’ [Y/N] kept asking herself as she ran hand by hand with Jerome.
‘This is so crazy.’
“Ha! Do you see what I see, Baby Cakes? We’re just like Bonnie and Clyde!”
[Y/N] didn’t have enough time to answer, she gasped loudly at Jerome who just shot a random guy who was about to get into his car.
Jerome laughed. “We have our own vehicle now.” He took a driver’s seat and waited for [Y/N].
She sat beside him and as his hand moved to reach her thigh she took it like she wanted to hold it.
‘Shit. Don’t you dare to blush!’
He only smirked at the situation, not letting go of her hand. Both of them didn’t say anything about it. What if he didn’t really wanted to reach her thigh?
She could feel how awkward it was, at least for her, that’s why she decided to say something.
“So.. Where are we going anyway?”
“We’re.. going to get my face back, [Y/N].” He giggled.
She liked his giggle, it was adorable.
She turned to look at him. “Why do you want your face back though? I kinda like the new look.” She said with a smirk.
He chuckled. “Oh Darling, you never fail to make me smile. I know I still look hella fine but you should’ve seen me with my face on.”
“Well, I’ve seen you.. that day when they found out you killed your mother..”
“Ah good ol’ days!” He said happily. “So tell me Gorgeous, what did you think of me?”
“Nothing!” She said a little too fast. “I mean yeah, uh, nothing.”
Normally, [Y/N] wouldn’t have a problem with lying but Jerome really made her nervous at the moment!
“Awww, c’mon, you gotta tell me.” He looked at her with puppy eyes, not caring about the road, wheels of the car meeting an innocent man because of it.
“Sorry! Didn’t see ya!” [Y/N] looked at the scene with wide eyes.
“Okay now, where were we? Oh right, answer my question, Toots.”
‘He really enjoys giving nicknames… Anyway, I guess I have nothing to lose.’
“Well.. I thought you were kinda.. cute?” She couldn’t help but looked down at her hands and blushed. She felt bad for feeling like this because of a sociopath. But he was really sweet to her, ya know?
She could feel like.. herself with him. Everybody always expected her to be perfect. She was so tired of this.
She was only a human being.
He smirked still gazing at the road.. “Don’t cha too sweet for me, Baby?”
“What do you mean she left with him?!”
“Look, Jim, I couldn’t stop them. I already told you, she just left.. like that. She didn’t even protest.”
Jim made a weird face at her words so she added “That’s probably because she was too scared..”
Inside she knew she was wrong. [Y/N] looked shocked, then shy but definitely not scared. Lee had no idea what to think.
“We need to find her. We need to find them.
[Y/N] sat on a table where Jerome was lying 3 hours ago, when Dwight was trying to bring him back from the dead. She was looking at Jerome’s back for 5 minutes as he moaned in pain. He was “putting” his face back on and he was almost finished. [Y/N] felt bad for him, she didn’t like him being in pain. He was handsome in her opinion when he had no face, so she was 1000% sure he’d be still handsome with staples.
Finally he finished his work and looked at Dwight.
“So, how’s the look?”
Dwight was really nervous. He was praying Jerome’s not mad but he noticed that [Y/N] was.
“It looks good..” He wasn’t very persuasive, was he?
“You wouldn’t.. lie to me.. Right, Dwight?”
He shook his head. “N-no. I-it looks good.” Jerome was smiling the whole time.
He looked like an angel in [Y/N]’s eyes.
Jerome noticed a gentle smile on her face and returned it.
“Now Dwight, would you stand over there? Me and Sweet Cheeks need to talk about something.” Dwight nodded quickly and almost ran to the place Jerome pointed out.
Jerome and [Y/N] moved aside and he explained, what he wanted to do. He wanted to leave a message for Gotham.
[Y/N] couldn’t be more excited.
“Testing, testing… Are we live? Are we on air?”
In the background you were able see Dwight, tied up to incendiary bombs.
“C’mere, Gorgeous, no need to be shy, you’re too pretty for that.”
She skipped to Jerome. “Hiya everyone!” She waved, giggled and kissed Jerome on the cheek. She was way more confident by now, thanks to her Puddin telling her not to worry.
“Some of you may know I died. Take it from me - death is dull! But coming back… that is something. Leave it to dying to give you a whole new perspective on life and I would like to share that with you.” He looked over at [Y/N] and blew her a kiss.
“Tonight, Gotham - in the darkness - there are no rules! So tonight, Gotham, do what you want, kill who you want. And when morning comes you too shall be reborn!” He took [Y/N]’s hand and fired an explosive.
“.. I don’t forgive you for my face.”
They started laughing like maniacs. ([Y/N]’s favourite kind of laugh) And left. Just like that. Again.
On daily basis, [Y/N] would feel bad. It wasn’t normal anymore, but on the other hand, she couldn’t be more happy to be with Jerome. They were in love! It felt like magic.
Like he was a Clyde to her, and she was a Bonnie to him!
You may wonder, why all of this had to happen?
I guess we will never really know. Maybe it happened because she was too tired of being a perfect child?
Too tired of having straight A’s?
Or too tired of rules?
Or maybe tired of always having to speak with respect?
She was too tired of one thing, she always had to be.
"Hello handsome stranger, you don't seem very good at hotwiring a car. It's the blue wire you should use. Or would you like the keys instead?"
When Clint walked out of the diner after lunch, the last thing he expected to see was someone attempting to hotwire his car. Judging by the amount of cursing, the thief wasn’t having a lot of luck. Since the thief had left the car door open, Clint watched him struggle for a minute. His would-be car thief was actually quite good looking (from what Clint could see of him, anyway).
Padding over, silently, Clint watched the thief work and tried to figure out why his car was being stolen in broad daylight by a good looking guy in an expensive suit with broad shoulders and clear blue eyes.
“God damn it! Why won’t you start?”
Clint held back a laugh and decided to give the thief a break. It’s not like the car was going anywhere and Clint could easily pull the guy out if he had to. “You’re not very good at this, are you? You’ve got to use the blue wire.”
The thief jumped at the sound of Clint’s voice so close and there was a hollow, ‘thunk!’ as his head hit the roof. “Fuck! Where did you come from?”
“The diner, right over there.” Clint pointed and then cocked his head to the side as sirens started to wail in the distance. “You maybe want to get out of my car? Looks like the police are headed this way for some reason and I’m sure they wouldn’t mind making a quick stop.”
Instead of the answer, Clint was hoping for, his thief started hitting the steering wheel and cursing more. “Those sirens are for me. I’m a cop and the shitty unmarked they assigned me for my latest case stalled as I got the call our perp was making a run for it. He’s headed this direction, so I picked the first car I found that was unlocked.”
Clint leaned on the roof and tried to mask his disbelief. “You may be a good looking guy, but I’m not dumb enough to fall for that load of bull.”
Before Clint could continue his rant and try and forcibly remove the guy from his car, there was a badge in his face. Taking the badge, Clint whistled low and impressed. The picture on the ID was definitely Clint’s handsome thief and apparently, his name was Phillip J. Coulson and he was a detective for the NYPD.
Coulson snatched the badge back and went back to trying to hotwire the car. “Satisfied?”
“Um, yeah.” Coulson tried another wire and Clint sighed. “Blue wire, detective.” The sirens were louder now and Clint fished his keys from his pocket. “Unless you want the keys?”
Without another word, Coulson grabbed the keys and jammed them in the ignition. Clint leaped back as Coulson pulled the door closed and watched his car speed off.
“You’re welcome!” Clint yelled at the disappearing shape of his car.
“Who are you yelling at?”
“For God’s sake, Nat! I’m gonna put a bell on you one of these days.”
Natasha rolled her eyes. “I’d like to see you try.”
Clint smiled at his best friend and pointed in the direction his car had gone. “Hot cop stole my car. Think the insurance company will actually believe that?”
“I don’t even believe that.”
“It’s the truth. Detective Phillip J. Coulson stole my car and went to chase bad guys.” Clint and Natasha started walking to their shared apartment and Clint recounted the whole story.
–A Week Later–
Clint had just made coffee and was ready to pour himself a cup when he realized there were no clean cups to be found. He was seriously thinking of just drinking straight from the pot when there was a knock at the door.
Shuffling over to the door, Clint tried to hurry, but he could feel his pants starting to slide down his hips. Clint knew he needed to get rid of them since they too big, but they were also soft and comfortable and purple and he still loved them.
The knocking started again and Clint called out, “Hold your horses! I’m coming!”
Yanking the door open, Clint was ready to give whoever it was a piece of his mind but found himself speechless. Coulson was standing there, fist raised to knock again and looking sheepish.
“Good morning, Mr. Barton. I came to return your car.”
Clint stared at Coulson, not hearing a word. And really, who could blame him? Coulson was standing in Clint’s doorway wearing dark jeans and a light blue button-down shirt with the sleeves rolled up. Clint’s eyes traveled up one strong forearm up to Coulson’s face and the thick, black-rimmed glasses that framed eyes that seemed even bluer now that Clint could get a good look at them.
“Um…I’m sorry, what?”
Coulson jingled the keys in his other hand. “Your keys. To your car?”
Shaking himself, Clint smiled. “Oh! Right! You couldn’t hotwire it. How’d you find me?”
Coulson grinned and Clint was almost distracted by the small crinkles that appeared at the corners of Coulson’s eyes. “The car’s registration.” Coulson’s eyes twinkled with amusement. “And I’m a cop. Finding people is kind of my job”
Clint laughed. “Right, do you wanna come in? Or…?”
Coulson looked nervous again. “Well, I was hoping I could convince you to let me take you out for coffee? As a thank you for letting me take your car. Or, I could just give you your keys and go. I totally understand if you don’t want to ever see me again.”
“I’d like that.”
Clint bit his lip, nervous himself now. “Coffee. With you. Sounds good. I just need to change real quick.” Stepping back from the door, he ushered Phil inside. “Come on in. Promise, I’ll be fast.”
Coulson smiled again and stepped inside and Clint ran to his room to change. He grabbed what he hoped were clean jeans and a t-shirt and quickly got dressed, not wanting to leave Coulson waiting for too long.
When he walked back into the living room, he found Coulson looking at their bookshelves and took a moment for himself to admire the detective’s backside. Clint was about to clear his throat to get Coulson’s attention when the man spoke first. “So you weren’t lying when you called me, ‘good looking’.”
Clint coughed. “What?” Coulson turned and smirked at Clint. “Of course I wasn’t lying. You are good looking.”
“Good. Ready for our date?”
Coulson tossed Clint his keys, and Clint was still shocked by Coulson calling this a date that he let them hit him in the chest. “Date?”
“That’s what I’m hoping this could be. It’s been a long time for me, but I like you and even though our meeting wasn’t exactly conventional, I think we could try.”
Regaining his composure, Clint took a step toward the door and smiled at Coulson. “I’d like that a lot…Phil.”
Coulson beamed back and followed Clint out the door.