Iris and August Pine’s first few days of life were difficult to say the least, you and Chris fought, who needed more sleep; who woke who up and where you were sleeping. It took compromise and time away from one another to finally grow up. it reminded you of arguing over August’s name, back and fourth back and fourth. That’s the equivalent of what was happening, only now it was ridiculous stuff.
By the first month, you’d gotten a routine down, Iris liked to be held when she was tired and August preferred to have contact with someone, holding his hand would be fine. He would drift asleep. You and Chris were growing as a family and being civilized adults. The media had a field day when your rep announced their names, Iris Rhea and August Joseph Pine. It all but declared that you two in the minds of the media were back together. Neither you or Chris spoke out about it, ignoring questions when out in public and trying desperately hard to keep the information from leaking.
Three months later and Chris was back at his own place, he’d visit every day that he could, video chat when he was to tired to drive to your house. But for now, he was staying at his house, he’d brought the kids over there a few times and he’d realized just how unsafe his house was, he’d forgotten to baby proof and Iris was playing with an electrical cord nearly giving him a heart attack when she screamed, playfully. Thankfully, she wasn’t hurt just sharing her excitement of her latest discovery.
The kids were six months of age and everything was working, you and Chris had gotten into a perfect routine. He’d watch them on his days off, you’d watch them on your days off and if you both managed to have the same days off, you’d do something as a family. Zach and Miles helped out as well, Zach all but begging you to have a Mommy day where you could go to the spa and relax and he’d watch the kids. The night they were born, trying to get Iris out of his hands was hell. They watched the two kids whenever they could or would show up at your house for a visit claiming to wanting to see you but spent the entire visit with the twins.
For your latest day off, You and Chris had decided to take the twins to the park; they were starting to walk and enjoyed seeing nature and playing with toys. A day at the park would at least get them out of the house.
Chris arrives at the park late, he’d intended on helping you get to the park but by the time he’d gotten out of work, you had already left. It doesn’t take him long to find you, your standing over August and Iris who are playing with the flowers. Each pulling the flowers out of the ground and tossing to the side. He admires it, starring at you three, proudly.
“Which one is yours?” A dark-haired man asks, standing next to him.
“Wh–oh, uh.. the light haired kids in the flowers.” Chris says, pointing in your direction.
“Yeah. Boy, girl.”
“I just have the one, the boy in the green shirt trying to climb up the slide.” He says, motioning towards the play equipment “He has his days.”
Chris chuckles, watching the boy struggle.
“Congratulations.” the man says, patting Chris on his shoulder. Chris turns, a look of confusion over his face as he tries to find the meaning behind the word.
“Your family. Your kids are beautiful and your wife, she’s gorgeous.” The man says, Chris glances back at you and the kids. Now, you guys are in the sandbox, August with a small shovel and Iris with a few rocks. Building what he can only assume is a castle. Your hair glows in the sun, dancing with each small movement you make and a smile so beautiful it nearly stops his heart.
“Yeah, she is.” He says to no one in particular. The man is long gone now, returning to his car with his small child. Yet Chris’ eyes never drift from you. It’s one of the favorite things now, watching the kids, his kids interact with you. Seeing their faces light up with smiles, the squeaks of their voices when they were excited or how just the sight of you could make them so happy they would forget to hold onto to something. Most of all, it was you. The way, you couldn’t stop smiling when their little faces came into contact. How even if you were begging for sleep, you’d fight it just for them.
The twins, Iris and August were becoming their own people. Their own personalities, ways of communicating. it was crazy to think that a year ago, neither you or him would have expected this. The idea of you two being parents wasn’t a thought that had crossed his mind. Or having two small human beings who you two would raise and mold into adults was crazy.
From a one emotion fueled night to twin babies, who were just reaching seven months of age. He’d imagined this moment a thousand times over, you and him experiencing all those moments with your child the problem was, it wasn’t how he pictured it. He’d seen you two married, an infant and a toddler; playing. He saw the first child, you carried of his. He saw your relationship before he messed it up. Chris looses himself in those memories.
You and Chris are in bed, your hand rubbing your stomach and Chris is on his stomach, starring at you.
“What kind of parents do you think we’ll be?” He asks, softly.
“The kind that embarrass our child at school functions.” You say with a smile.
“Oh, really?” He asks, chuckling
“Yeah. We’re gonna be those parents who take too many pictures and show other people pictures when they don’t even want to see them.”
Chris moves closer to you, resting his head on your thigh. “That’s not bad, I think that we are going to be great. He–”
“Or she.” You say, interrupting him.
“–Or she.” he over enunciates the word, “Is going to be spoiled rotten.”
“Oh, you guys; look who I see!” Chris overhears you say, pulling him from the memory. You’re standing up now, Iris is still tossing rocks and August is standing up next to you, holding onto your pants legs.
“Where’s daddy? Do you see him?” You ask, in a small excited voice. August’s looks to the left his curious eyes searching for Chris. Finally, his head turns right, a large smile appears on his face when he sees Chris.
Chris walks towards you, his arms reached outs towards the small child; picking him up. Iris’ attention is drawn to Chris, the minute he moves closer. He wraps his hands tightly around the boy, his blonde-brown hair is glistening in the sunlight, beads of sweat on his forehead as he smiles at his father. “How are you?” Chris asks
Iris raises her hands, silently asking for someone to pick her up. You obliges her wishes, leaning down to pick her up. “Hey, sweetie.”
Chris turns to face you, slowly reaching his hand out to caress her cheek. “How are you, stranger?” You ask Chris
“I’m okay, Sorry, i’m late.”
“They don’t mind.” You and Chris walk to the benches, both infants sitting happily on your lap.
“Do you think she’ll stay blonde?” You ask, quietly running small strands of the child’s hair in your fingers. Iris extends her arm trying to stop your actions.
“No, not typically. Brown usually takes over as they get older.” He says making August clap his hands. “August’s hair is already starting to turn brown.”
“Who knows, maybe we’ll have a blonde little girl.”
Chris smiles, “No one in my side of the family is blonde.”
“You now, just because your a man doesn’t mean you control everything.”
Iris is desperately trying to climb off of your lap, you look at August and then helping the small child down, Holding her hands as she starts walking towards her destination. Chris follows suit, August still tucked in his hands. He’s playing with the collar of his shirt and creating a puddle of drool.
“I actually have an explanation for why i was late.”
You cock you head at him, confused. “You don’t need to explain.”
“No, i do.” He stresses.
Iris stops moving and drops to the ground, sitting and using her feet to kick the few rocks in front of her. “Okay?” You ask, confused.
Chris sighs, “I’m signed on to do another movie.”
You bite your lip and take a deep breath, “Oh.”
“Yeah, there’s not much information about it yet but they want me to be in it.”
“And then there’s star trek as well.”
You find yourself tapping your finger along your thigh, watching Iris now play with a small car. “How long is that going to be?”
“I’m not sure.”
“So, I’m going to be alone with them for what a year almost?”
Chris sighs. “You can come with me.”
“And leave my job, my house?”
“It’s a Television show.”
“Hey, i thought we had an agreement about that.” you snap at him.
Chris’ eyes fall to the ground. He watches Iris slam her car into the ground and scream, excitedly. “I want you guys to come with me. Come on, it’ll be fun for everyone.”
“No…” he walks closer to you, August now fast asleep with his head resting on Chris’ shoulder. “That way, I can still see them. I don’t want to leave but it’s my job.”
“Chris, let’s just go home. We’ll discuss this later.”
At the house, it’s late. The sun had began to go down on the ride home and the babies were desperate for sleep. Their little eyes were beginning to betray them and their attitudes were getting worse.
“Alright, guys. Hold on.” You say, getting them changed, fresh diapers and fresh clothes. Chris helps, cleaning Iris as best as she will allow him too. He stays in the kitchen, reading a small piece of paper you wrote on earlier, the time of their appointments. It’s only when he realizes he’s been starring at a picture of the kids that he notices how long you’ve been gone. He slowly walks to the nursery, where he sees you sitting in the rocking chair, both babies neatly tucked into your sides. Iris is sound asleep and August isn’t far from it.
He leans on the door frame and watching you read, “Goodnight air, Goodnight noises everywhere.” you say, quietly closing the book. You catch a glance of Chris out of the corner of your eye and you smile at him, slightly jarring your head.
“Hey.” He says, quietly.
Chris walks into the room, he helps you put the babies in their cribs. One after the other, softly. He stands leaning on the crib watching the two sleeping babies. You stand on the side of Chris, leaning against him. “You did good, they stayed asleep this time.” You whisper
“Millionth time is the charm.” You smile in response.
You’re the first to leave the room, heading to the kitchen where you pull out a glass from the cabinets. The sound of the nursery door, clicks shut as you poor water into the glass and turn on the baby monitor you have on the counter. Chris joins you a few minutes later, sitting on the bar stool and leans on his hand.
“So, Star Trek four, huh?” You ask, facing the cabinet.
“How long is this one going to be?”
Chris sighs, “Maybe a year.”
You sigh and finally turn to face him, “So what are we going to do?” You put your cup down in front of him and lean on the island starring into his eyes. “You don’t want to leave them and I can’t leave my job.”
“Is it vital that you continue working on the show?” He asks. You shoot a dirty look at him. “I’m not arguing. I’m just asking, is it necessary that your character stay on? Can’t she go on a break for a while?”
“They did that when i was pregnant.” He sighs.
“Alright. We’ll figure something out.” Chris says, he stares at the monitor of the two sleeping babies then at the clock. It’s seven thirty almost eight. He needs to get home but he doesn’t want to leave.
You follow Chris’ eyes and find the clock, reading the time. “You don’t have to stay, Chris.” You say to him. His eyes fall on you, taking in your appearance. No make up, no fancy clothing but you’re still beautiful as ever. Motherhood looked good on you and you were getting even more beautiful as time went on.
You’re about the walk away, when you hear the glass cup slam onto the counter and a curse from his lips.
“Fuck….” he whispers, harshly. He questions everything in that moment, the past year, the future; here and now. He knows it’s stupid but right now, he can’t fight it. He has one last option… maybe one last chance.
You turn to face him, confusion on your face. Yet instead of Chris being a few feet away, he’s inches away from you. Stepping closer and you don’t stop him. There he is standing in front of you, his lips parted and his icy blue eyes peering down at you.
His hand touches your cheek, just enough to feel electricity, You should stop him but you’re paralyzed. There in the middle of the kitchen, in all the confusion; Chris kisses you.
His calloused fingers and rough palm on your cheek, his lips on yours; gently. It’s the first time, you’ve felt his lips on your in nearly two years. The first time, your hands have gripped onto his shoulders, braided into his hair. When his mouth moves away, you still can’t move. Your hands remain on his body. He leans his head on yours, breathing deeply; his heart racing.
You’ve crossed a line. A line you tried so hardly to carve.
It was to easy, far to easy to break. You lean into his chest, your hands untangle from his hair and rest flatly on his chest. You try to push him away but your muscles don’t move. You missed him. You missed the scent of his cologne, the feeling of his skin. You missed him. Chris is the first to move, he puts his hand under your chin lifting your head. His eyes stare deeply into yours. You stare into each others eyes, breathing deeply, no words, no sounds. Nothing needs to be said. Neither of you want to say anything. You run your hand up his chest and hook it around his neck, he doesn’t move. You lean on your toes and kiss him, once again. The kiss is longer this time. It’s perfect.
He holds you, his arms wrap around you and he pulls your body into him. Chris isn’t going to let go this time, he won’t ever let go.
“God, I missed you.” He whispers against your lips.
When you two part, he doesn’t let you go of you. He doesn’t even attempt to, his hands remain on you. You stand wrapped in each others arms, your head rests on his chest and he holds you. It’s a difficult moment to explain. This moment feels perfect. It feels complete.
“Are you okay?” He asks, quietly.
“Yes.” You respond. You lift your head to look him in the eyes, once again. He smiles. You kiss him gently, barely letting your lips touch.You two don’t make it to the bedroom, not for lack of trying however. You tried. But you’d been apart for so long the feeling… the need for each other was to strong. He holds you tightly against him, his lips never leaving you. Within seconds, your on the counter top, Chris between your legs and your falling apart. It’s almost mimics, the firs time you slept together but it’s soft and patient. Chris taking his time to bring you to your high, he covers your neck in love bites and kisses you gently.
Neither of you know who said the words, “I love you” first both of you had shouted it, whispered it multiple times throughout the night. Somehow, the two of you wound up in your bedroom, holding each other. Your head rested on his chest and his arm wrapped around you, holding you tightly against him.
“What are we doing?” You ask, rubbing a circle with your finger on his bare chest.
“Being us.” Chris says.
“Can ‘us’ become a better answer?” You ask him.
Chris sits up, pulling the blanket with him and lifting your head to face him. He stares into your eyes, “We’re doing what we should have done since the beginning. Laying in bed, in our home where our sleeping children are.”