captains got no time for this shit

3

and you call yourself a spy Natasha

okay, peter x michelle??? let’s discuss

  • first off the fact that both of peter’s potential significant others have been smart, strong, independent black women??? amazing! show-stopping! perfection!
  • it was actually kind of great that liz was peter’s first crush because she let him get away with a lot, so we got to see how peter handle romance when his girl doesn’t know about his web-slinging.
  • michelle??? it was said when she was first introduced that she was observant of peter’s weird behavior. and she’s the type of girl who is blunt and will for sure call you on your shit. so spider-man?? not gonna be a secret for long when peter and michelle share the screen more.
  • also she’s like hella smart? captain of the academic decathlon team, reading all the time, and an activist?? honestly, she and ned as the brains behind spider-man is all i want to come from the sequel.
  • and can i just say that michelle is not the type to just fall into things quickly? her feelings for peter when they develop (or finish developing) aren’t going to be some puppy-love, wishy-washy thing where both of them end up getting hurt. whatever michelle feels is going to be quite serious.
  • this may sound a little heavy in the emotions department, but peter’s clearly shown to have strong emotions too (ex. determination to an avenger, butting heads with tony, infatuation with liz).
  • so when their relationship forms it’s gonna be real and intense and it’s gonna last.
  • and michelle’s awareness of peter’s behavior is already pretty high, so when things get romantic?? how tuned in michelle will be to peter’s emotional state (ptsd, nightmares, anxiety attacks, world-on-his-shoulders syndrome) she’ll know almost immediately and be able to offer the support he needs.

in conclusion, peter x michelle??? fucking flawless. 

5

Where Bucky turns 100

They originally got it as a gag gift but after seeing how genuinely happy he was no one had the heart to tell him it was a joke.

Steve hates everyone now because Bucky won’t let him go on a mission without it… just in case.

anonymous asked:

I've seen you say a couple times that you don't see or that you're disabled. Do you mind talking about it? I ask because I am an aspiring writer and it is really hard for me. I wanted to know how you managed or what it was like?

I don’t mind talking about it. It’s something that made me who I am.

When I was about 12, my health sort of started to eat itself. I suddenly had a ton of allergies, and there were days I couldn’t get out of bed. I got sick all the time. In freshman year of high school, I suddenly couldn’t see. For a long time a thing had been going on in my eyes, but I guess I didn’t think it was abnormal until it made it impossible for me to see. Basically this hole was kind of growing in my eyes, but it was more like a rainbow.

When I started having trouble with colors and detail vision, my mom freaked out a bit, because at the time, I was an award winning artist who had ideas of going to college for art. Then I started tripping over things, hitting my head, having trouble with depth perception. Then I got sick, and I mean sick.

I spent about 23 hours a day in bed. I had almost constant migraines. I had pain in my entire body. My skin turned yellow. I went to every kind of doctor you can think of and was tested for everything there is. One day, I had about 12 vials of blood drawn. No one knew what was wrong. The eyes weren’t that big a deal at first, because it seemed like I might have something really serious. The first couple of eye doctors I went to kind of looked at me and said “Oh it’s nothing big.” I actually had one guy tell me that my brain was just shutting off my eyes because I wasn’t using them properly. Yeah.

Then finally, my mom took me to a friend of our family who happened to be an eye surgeon. She did a free exam. I’ll never forget it because it was the first time anyone believed me. I’d been told by doctor after doctor that there was nothing wrong with me. I’d been referred to therapists, told I needed depression meds, told I was just going through a phase or needed attention. Then this doctor put on her head gear, looked into my eyes…took off the head gear…got new head gear…looked into my eyes…took off the headgear…got hand held tools…looked into my eyes…and then stared at me with her mouth hanging open.

“I can’t see the back of your eye,” she said. And suddenly the world simultaneously healed itself and flipped upside-fucking-down for me.

Then it was all about my eyes, the one symptom we could see happening. The one that was the most dangerous. But by then it was too late.

What happened is pretty simple: I apparently have some weird recessive DNA. It triggers certain bizarre immune issues at puberty. My immune system decided to attack my body. The eyes are a delicately balanced system. They show symptoms first. My immune system attacked them with a vengeance. They swelled up like balloons. Normal eye pressure is about 14-17. Mine was at a 22 at its best. It put a tremendous amount of pressure on my Retina, specifically my macula, cutting off blood flow like when you sit on your foot. You know those little shadowy things that float across your eyes? They’re called protein floaters. My eyes had produced so many of those that the doctor could not see through them. It was a fog.

They had to find a way to map my eye, to track the damage. Cue the eye exam from hell. I have always been, even before my autoimmune disorder, deathly allergic to melon. Any kind of melon. But now I was allergic to all sorts of shit, fruits vegetables, all kinds of crap. My dad is allergic to contrast dyes. So when the retinologist suggested this dye-based eye exam that is kind of like a CAT scan, my mom said “no”. See, they inject you with this dye and then they flash this weird light in your eyes. It causes the dye to glow, and then they can see the things through the fog. My mom told them I was too sensitive to stuff for that to be safe. The doc assured her they’d put a butterfly in my arm, meaning the vein would be kept open, and a syringe of benedryl was set on the counter. They’d never had anyone react, and they needed the pictures or there was nowhere to go from there.

So they put this dye into me, and it was like I’d been injected with fire, but there was no way around it, and to me, I knew they only had about 90 seconds to get the images they needed. So I sucked it up. finally the burning began to spread. Suddenly my back felt like I was being stabbed, and I suddenly couldn’t speak. I tapped my hands on my mom, then began sneezing spontaneously. My mom lifted my shirt, and I had quarter-sized hives. The nurse said “Stop sneezing on the camera”. Yeah.

My mom went ballistic. The doctor flew up the stairs and gave me the emergency meds. I slid into a dissociation state and nearly out of my chair. They had to prop me against the camera for the next couple minutes and reinject the dye. No other way, you see.

They did this test every few months for a few years.

But then there was treatment. Not much they could do, except try to get the swelling under control. Only way to do that was corticosteroid injections in the eye. Yup. A needle in the eye. No, they don’t knock you out. They numb the surface of the eye with the same numbing drops they give you for the exams and then they come at you with a needle, tell you to look down and to hold still. And you fucking do.

I was 15 when that started.

I went to experimental clinics, labs, and joined studies. I dropped out of those. Why? It’s pretty simple. The first day I came to the exams, I was kept waiting for over two hours. I was taken into a room. I was left there. No information, no talking. Suddenly a man came in followed by a group of people, all in lab coats. He started moving me around like I was a doll and talking like, “The patient presents with…the patient this, the patient that…”

I shoved him back and said, “The patient’s name is Kristina, and she is 16.”

He finished his exam, and when he left, after the students had gone, he took two Q-tips, dipped them in that pink shit your dentist uses to swab your gums before an injection, and SHOVED them under my eyelids with a cocky smirk.

The patient will never be an snotty little bitch again, I guess.

So yeah. Fuck those guys. They gave me two injections in one day, which no one had ever done before, because it was almost impossible to function with two pimple-like bubbles on your eyeballs.

Still my health was bad. Then all of a sudden, when my mom had given up, It just wasn’t anymore. Suddenly, I was fine, and all that was left were the eyes. I went back to school, except now I was blind.

In a few months, I’d lost about 80% of my perfect vision. I was photophobic. I got horrible and constant headaches. I walked with a cane. And not a single fucking teacher believed me, except my civics teacher, who had gone blind at a young age due to some other weird eye disorder, and my physics teacher who was deaf. I had teachers send me to the office for wearing my sunglasses (with a note on file). I had teachers get on my case about having an audio recorder and CD player for my books. I had teachers call me names, make fun of me, make me leave class to photocopy their notes larger, so that I missed the lecture the notes were on. I had teachers take my medications which had to be in my possession because of their time-sensitive nature and constant administration and hide them in their desks as punishment for asking questions or demanding help. I had classmates pick on me, but luckily, I was well-liked, and I was an officer in the ROTC. I even excelled there in spite of my vision, because my Captain believed in my leadership skills.

I always tell this story because I think it is funny. We had this special boot camp we got to go to if we were in the upper ranks of the ROTC. If you joined the military after high school (which I could never do) you got a higher paygrade for having gone through it. Almost like taking a couple JC classes in the military. It was grueling and all physical fitness, obstacle courses, PT, classes, guard duty…fucking blah. Our unit was allowed six participants. I sort of figured that it wasn’t really fair for me to go, even with my high rank (a company XO). To my complete fucking shock, my Captain recommended me to go, cutting out a classmate (and ex) of mine who was higher in rank. The boy went ape-shit. He went on and on about how unfair it was. He even went to the school board. My Captain made his reasons clear; he told them that the academy isn’t about military sponsorship. It’s about skills and quality. He didn’t care if I had a disability. In his eyes I had more innate ability than anyone there because I had worked so hard just to be where I was. The boy was angry. I told my Captain I appreciated the gesture, but honestly, we ought to make it fair. I told him that we should train to meet the PT standards, and that if this kid could make his, but i couldn’t make mine, he should go. I made mine. He didn’t. He complained about that too. At the last minute, we were told one extra person could come because another school had lost one. So he came anyway. The whole time he bitched about me being there. When I got there, the real military officers gave me shit like you wouldn’t believe, because they weren’t used to dealing with disabilities or recognizing that they can’t discriminate against high schoolers by law. The commander of the unit tried to dress me down in front of everybody for wearing sunglasses. I was pretty pleased with myself for telling him off but still sounding respectful. He kept saying “Take off my glasses”. I told him they weren’t his. They were mine, by law, and that if he had a problem with that, he could consult my attorney, the DOJ, and the doctor who prescribed them. He tried to fuck with me. I didn’t say anything except to ask him if he wanted me to have a migraine, because that’s what taking the glasses off means. He was so confused by me he walked away and called my Captain over. There were words. After that, he came up to me once or twice, almost like a test, to ask me if I needed him to slow down or if I was getting around alright. He wasn’t being nice. He was egging me in a condescending tone and with very bullying language. He’s a drill instructor, and you know what, that’s his job. I told him I was fine. But I made a decision: I wasn’t just going to make the female PT marks. I was going to test out of this fucking place at the male PT marks. And I fucking did. That boy…had an asthma attack on the track (I had asthma too, but I worked my ass off while he coasted on his “boyness”) and failed. At the certificate ceremony, the commander came up to me and said I had really impressed him, and that it was a shame I couldn’t enter the Navy. I thanked him, but what I wanted to say was, “Go fuck yourself and take the NAVY with you”. I ended up the Battalion XO Senior year. This would have given me a guaranteed spot in Westpoint if I could have taken it. My Captain cried when he told me he was sorry he had to give it to one of our Company XO’s. I told him that it was best for everyone, because I am not the type of person to enjoy taking orders. I had learned that about myself.

He laughed.

Around Junior year I got people to pay attention. My doctors got the DOJ and the Social Security people involved. A woman came to my school and enforced compliance in a tone of voice I’d never heard anyone but my mother use. She threatened to rain brimstone down on them if they didn’t give me what I needed, and things changed.

My parents wanted me to take a full scholarship to a local school, but I wanted to get away. So I did. I wanted to travel abroad, so i did. And when I was 19, they perfected one of the surgeries they had been working on the entire time I’d been struggling with this.

See, the injections had brought and kept the swelling down, but that meant that the fog was still there (since ocular fluid doesn’t replace), and the structures in the eye had been stretched all to shit, and were laying in my eye like melted plastic wrap. The old surgery was like a blind man hacking with a machete, but the new surgery used fluorescent dyes to track movement. Dyes that wouldn’t kill me. The old surgery had a 50-50 shot at complete loss of vision and made you lay on your face for three weeks. The new was fool proof and took 45 minutes. So, I got one eye done. They swapped out all the fluid and replaced it with saline. They peeled the distorted membrane off the macula. They stitched up my eyeball and gave me a sick metal eye patch. Looked like a fucking space pirate. It was rad.

But the blind spot is still there. The cataracts caused by the steroids are still there. The scars are there.

A few years later I had the other one done too.

My college was great. It took a lot of work getting all my reading done, about 500 pages minimum, per week, done via audio. I used to spend hours at the pool table in our residence hall, listening to my books and practicing. I got pret damn good too, at pool. It was difficult taking notes or working with a note taker. It was scary traveling by myself. It was hard to get people to understand there wasn’t anything WRONG with me. Just that my eyes don’t work even though it seems like I’m normal and fine, and like they should. People always think to be legally blind you have to be completely blind, and they think you’re not going to be able to defend yourself. I’ve been targeted by pickpockets. I’ve been followed by scary dudes. I’ve been treated like shit, laughed at, and accused by full grown adults of faking to get privileges, all because I can look at the place where their head should be and smile at the blank spot there. All because I can walk down a flight of stairs with a few neat tricks I know that have nothing to do with a cane.

But shit…you probably didn’t mean to ask for my life story. I’m going to get back to the point. My writing. What has it done for that? Like how can you be a writer if you can’t fucking see? Technology. It’s been amazing. I can use a computer same as anyone. The Kindle has been a fucking revolution for me because for the first time in a decade and a half I could read without pain and suffering. Just…all the things it does have made life so much easier than it used to be. It got me out of bad relationships with people who used my disability as a control. It gave me a little bit of confidence back. It helped me know I could handle myself.

And really, I think my vision loss had a lot to do with my writing. In some ways it gives me different perspective, sure, but it’s more than that. I was undeclared when I entered college. I didn’t know what I wanted to do. I thought about history or sociology. My mom had a degree in that and she was an English teacher. I wanted art history, but what the fuck was the point in that? Couldn’t see a damn thing. And then I had a class in poetry, and shit…That made sense. I’d always loved language and writing. Always been okay at it. Dorte stuff but never thought about doing it for a living. But then it was like yeah…yeah I’m gonna fucking do that. Just like when I decided to meet the male PT standards.

If it is in you. If you love it. If it defines you and possesses you, it does not matter how fucked up you are. You will find a way. You don’t have a choice. You are that thing. And you’ll adapt. You just have to let yourself. You have to keep pushing. You have to learn how to handle frustration. you have to train yourself into stamina. You just keep going. I’m nowhere near as successful as I want to be. I’m still going. I hope I get even better. I hope I can say things that make truth more obvious, or that help people put words to things they have always wanted to say.

I don’t need my eyes to be a fucking firestorm. That’s just me. Eyes don’t mean shit.

So keep going. Keep doing whatever you need to. Do it better and better. Bend yourself around it. People who see you struggle will think they’re lucky, but you and I know the truth: they’re not even close to the kind of strong you are. Not even a little bit.

musicalluna  asked:

in the early days, steve doesn't realize the avengers care about him a lot because they are vastly different people with vastly different socialization than the commandos, but then something happens to him in a fight and the avengers collectively flip their lids and that is how he learns he is Very Important to them

Steve had never been a stranger to friendly teasing. Bucky was a little shit, of course, but so were the Commandos. He’d been called every moniker that popped into his friends’ brains: “Captain Tightpants” (long before it was a cultural reference, thank you very much), “Captain Mom,” “Twinkle Toes,” “All-American Showgirl,” “Blushing Betty,” and names far more filthy. But he’d understood why. He was the commanding officer and he was, when it came down to it, a greenie who got damn lucky 95% of the time. Dugan, Dernier, Falsworth, even Bucky, they all would have been infinitely more qualified to be CO, and so he knew where the teasing was coming from. He knew it was his men’s way of telling him they cared for him while keeping his ego in check. (Bucky could’ve told them Steve was a good enough self-critic as it was and they all could just damn well stick to the dancing references.)

The Avengers, though. Steve had no idea what to think of the way they spoke to him.

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

Would you do a top 5 captain moments? Like of of any of the captains just being generally awesome?

Of course I can my bean! I don’t know if you meant just thing they did or my favorite captains’ interactions…either way, I’m going with the latter because we witnessed some really some iconic meetings indeed

1. “Don’t you ever forget my worthless pride.” This whole scene shows how complex the relationship between Oikawa and Ushijima is. I don’t think Ushijima ever wanted to purposefully hurt Oikawa here, I think he said “you chose the wrong path” because he has this perfect idea in his mind of what Oikawa should have done to make his talent bloom. He saw his potential and thought that the only way for him to fully use it was to go to Shiratorizawa. At the same time, it shows how a great captain (the best captain, in my opinion) Oikawa is. His worthless pride made him choose friendship, teamwork and constant improvement over “certain victory”. Aoba Johsai is not Oikawa’s reign, it’s not his failed project. It’s the thing he’s the proudest of. It’s his home

Originally posted by noheartospare

2. “I don’t know what you’re talking about, but good work!”. This interaction between Daichi and Oikawa is just PRICELESS. I actually love the way Oikawa kinda respects Daichi. Even if we saw him being extra sassy with other captains, he takes the time to “compliment” him…and the flash back with Kuroo and Bokuto is another perfect interaction of his own. (how much would I’ve paid to have Oikawa in the summer training camp too tbh)

Originally posted by lemedy

p.s. canon even in irl life Haikyuu tbh 

Originally posted by sarapyon

3. The Summer Training Camp Barbecue, aka “the pushy uncles” gang. RIP Tsukki but “you too Kenma, damn it!!!” will go down in history 

Originally posted by silverbunnybun

4. “We won’t lose next time!” And the award for the best fake smile goes to both Kuroo and Daichi! Honestly this is just one but all their interactions are incredible, Kuroo looks like a cat who’s toying with a little bird…he enjoys harrassing him…so much…to much even? ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Originally posted by lemedy

5. “Don’t be so tense, you guys still have next year!” Speaking of Oikawa being a little shit to other captains, his talk with Futakuchi before the Seijoh vs Dateko match got me on the floor. Futakuchi is all intense but Oikawa offered nothing but his fake smile and cheerfull attitude. That “I know right?” at the very end is the definition of savage. I love him. 

- bonus: Kuroo and Bokuto. Theirs are not simple interactions, they are the perfect picture of a power friendship. OYA OYA OYA! 

Originally posted by volleygifs

Thank you for your message!

Ask me my top 5 things!

I found a thing Rex is Bad at

Flying.

Filoni talked about an arc that was planned but never typed out, where R2 got into a fight with another astromech about the ground-pounders versus the pilots.

Rex somehow gets conned into flying and they crash, stranded somewhere together on some desolate planet.

They crash the Republic fighter, that I’m sure everyone got some basic training in controls wise, to be prepared for emergencies.

But in the Umbara Arc (I know, I know, I cry every time I think about it), Jesse says, “If Hardcase can fly [the Umbaran fighters], we all can.”

Jesse, Hardcase, and Fives, then successfully fly the alien fighters through a pitched space battle and complete their mission. They also give off the impression that flying wasn’t difficult once they got the hang of it, managing to fly in formation smoothly through the battle.

So my conclusion is: Rex is just bad at flying. The few other times we see him flying are generally slowly through Republic controlled space.

I hope Jesse gave him shit for crashing.

i really want steve, when asked in an interview or something about what he’s going to do now, responding “maybe i’ll go to college, i’m only thirty one, i’ve got plenty of time to work it out”

and the reporter just. staring at him like he’s grown another head

so steve repeats, “i’m thirty one, by my count.” he doesn’t mention the whole not aging thing. doesn’t want to blow their minds any more. “I was twenty six when i boarded the valkyrie.”

“thirty one” the reporter repeats. “you had the fate of the entire world on your shoulders and you were younger than me when i got married.”

and steve just nods. “i’m guessing you don’t want to hear how much tactical experience i actually had before the battle of new york, huh,” and the reporter flips their shit

Chest To Chest With Your Lover

Pairing/Character: Steve Rogers x Reader
Warnings:
SMUT, choking, slight Captain kink, oral sex (FR)
Summary:
When your insecurities get the best of you and you begin to get mouthy, Steve shows you how beautiful you are to him… In Steve’s way.
Word Count:
1.8k+

Originally posted by bluebrooklynkid

Keep reading

(captain boomerang ) - ( his babydoll )

Summary:

You’re a Behavioral Sciences Major who’s writing a thesis on the urge to steal ( Kleptomania ) and what drives thieves to do the things they do.. You’re granted access to the Solitary cell of Captain Boomerang…, who you’ve chosen (because he reminds you of a boy you loved from your native Australia, which he happens to be!!!), and you’re left alone with him.. He’s been locked away for a little over 3 months with no female contact.. flirting and smut happen.

Character:

Reader x Captain Boomerang

Rating:

Mature obviously

Word Count:

3,076+

Other:

Okay, look.. I’m obsessed with Captain Boomerang now, dammit. So I’m writing porn for him. I know 99.99 of my writings are about wrasslin but my thirst level is so god damn high for Boomerang and I have all these different HCS about sex with him swirling around in my brain.. Anyway, I know this scenario is highly unlikely, but… For smutty purposes, he pulled off prison sex.

@roleplayeroftheyear You made me do this bby!!! and ILYSM for it.

Keep reading

enemies to lovers!au lai guanlin

  • both you and guanlin went to the same school and are both in the same year
  • y’all never really interacted much because he was the sports type of guy and even if you were into sports. you weren’t as focused on it like he was and both of you never had any classes together ??? 
  • both of you have been going to the same school since high school started but never got a chance to ever interact and you both didn’t mind. because how was knowing one another gonna benefit y’all anyways ?? 
  • so yes, he was the i love sports i BREATHE sports type of person who always joined the teams. volleyball, track, badminton ??? he was in it 
  • cop: sir pull over 
  • guanlin: pull over?💀😂 the season 🏀🏈 is never over 🙅🏿‍♂️🚫 ima grind 💪🏾💯 till the day I die 👻 💀 John 3:16🙏🏾🙌🏾
  • but of course his number one sport is … basketball 
  • he’s been in it since he entered the school and boy never played it before but he found that he really enjoyed it and he got good at the sport so he was like uhhhh … ok i’ll just keep playing
  • his ability to learn sports easily just lead to his coaches recommending him to join the other sports and he cant turn down people so he was like okay i guess i’m just here to have a good time 
  • so during the year before senior year, he’s became the captain for the varsity basketball team through hard work and patience with himself 
  • and you ?? you’re just out here chilling with your studies and of course you’ve heard about lai guanlin before. who would you be if you haven’t?? 
  • everyday after a game everyone would talk about how he got the buzzer beater, about how amazing his layup was and you had nothing against him so you included yourself in the convo and would talk about how good he is even tho you’ve never seen him play at all 
  • your friends knew that you were interested in the sport but never bothered to try out because you were too intimidated 
  • you actually went on your first year of high school but you saw everyone who was trying out so you were like uhhh … gotta blast !!! 
  • you were too intimidated and till this day you lowkey regret not joining because u could’ve been like guanlin where he worked hard and got the captain position 
  • u were jealous but it was okay because it slipped out of your mind once school started becoming really busy 
  • but anyways, senior year came around and tryouts for this seasons basketball team rolled up 
  • your friends were like “yoooooo y/n ….. do you know what time it is?”  
    and you’re just like “no i’m not gonna try out !!!!  its senior year so why would i try out anymore” 
  • “exactly!! u said it urself!!! its senior year!!!!! just do it!!!” 
  • you were like nuh uh that will never happen i’m just Busy with life right now!!! and you make excuses that you’re trying to focus on your studies so you can enter a good university but they pull out receipts of ur good grades and  good attendances and youre just like “i’ll think about it, ok??” and they leave with a satisfied smile 
  • because at least you were finally going to think about. they’ve known that you lowkey always wanted to be in the team but never done it because u were too scared 
  • one day you were going home when you saw the tryouts poster, directing you to where it was and what time it was gonna happen 
  • you sighed and said “fuck it” because the poster was right there and tryouts were the next day so you told yourself it might be destiny that this was happening to you 
  • the next day you showed up to tryouts thinking that fuck it! its senior year and who cares if these underclass men judge me. i’m gonna graduate anyways 
  • after the tryouts you come to school with your gym clothes because you didn’t bother to change out and your friends are like ??? uh wtf what did you do to become that sweaty and you’re like “tried out for the team!! surprise!!” and theyre like WHAT
  • the results would be coming out at the end of the day and you were scared and anxious because u don’t think u’d be able to make it with these god tier students also trying to be in the team 
  • once the day of the day rolled up, you casually went to the bulletin board located at the gym and you saw guanlin standing there. looking at the results for both the girls and boys team. he seemed interested and you were lowkey scared to even go near it anymore but you were like whatever he doesn’t know me anyways lmao 
  • when you went up to the board your name was there. y/f/n y/l/n in big black letters along with the other students that made it in but the reason why yours was in bold bc … surprise surprise …. you’re the senior varsity captain 
  • you were so into the moment that you started hitting the person next to you out of excitement and oh no!! guess who you were hitting….lai guanlin
  • he jumps back in surprise and youre just like “oh!!! sorry!!!!” and you continue to apologize but he brushes himself off and says “are you y/n?” 
  • and you’re just like uhh ya i am and ur a little bit shook because you didn’t think he’d know you because you were just a person in the sidelines and you never did anything in the school to put yourself out there 
  • “we’ll be seeing each other often from now on. don’t do that again” and with that he leaves the gym and leaving you in a confused state 
  • you went ahead and talked to the coach on why you were picked as the captain when all these girls have better experience than you but they said because you had the skill and they knew the background you had with playing basketball with a team that wasn’t your school 
  • practices were 3 times a week, two in the morning and one after school 
  • at the first few practices you weren’t used to waking up early but when you got into the routine you thought that huh. this wasn’t too bad 
  • but shit got worse when the boys basketball team started practicing. they stole the gym from you guys like half the time and although you and your team have only been a team for a few weeks you had each others back and once you saw them getting irritated with the boys team you had to step up and discuss with them about the practicing sched because they were stealing your time!!! so of course you had to talk to captain 
  • you got his number from a mutual friend named lee daehwi and he was surprised that you wanted to talk to him and you briefly explained the practice schedule 
  • you texted guanlin and he replied with a “who’s this?” and you told him that you were y/n the one from the basketball team and you met up with one another to talk about the schedule 
  • you met up at the schools football bleachers and you slowly approached him cautious because he looked like he was in a shitty mood 
  • “hey. i came here to talk to you about the schedule?” you said timidly 
  • “oh. ya you texted me about it, i know. we can’t anything about the schedule” and you were like ummm??? what?? why not??
  • “because that’s the only schedule that works for everyone in the team. if you don’t like it then change YOUR schedule.” 
  • “the schedule that we have right now works with everyones schedule too so we can’t change it!!!!!” 
  • “then i guess we’ll be sharing gyms then?? i don’t see what’s the problem with that, it just looks like you’re the one who’s complaining about this” 
  • you were like WHAT THE FUCK because your team was the one who started using it first !!! and he shouldn’t have talked like as if he was the one who owned the gym 
  • you left with a “fine.” and a roll of your eyes and he simply walked away, not caring 
  • you told the team and they were heart broken but you continued to deal with the practice being both teams 
  • it got annoying because the boys would steal the basketballs away from you guys, they would hog the gym with their own practice drills and it left your own team struggling to practice 
  • when you and guanlin met eyes with one another you would glare at him and he would glare back at you. there was small tension between the two of you and the team were all like ….yikes i don’t wanna be part of this 
  • although both of the teams disliked sharing the gym they didn’t hate it as much as you and guanlin did 
  • every time something simple happened like a ball got into their side of the gym guanlin would be like “do you not KNOW how to throw a ball properly? hmm, as expected of someone who’s never been in a team before” and you would storm off and get another ball in the gym back room. 
  • he always used you not being in the past years team against you and like…you were good from what he can tell when he actually paid attention to your practices but he never cared to admit it 
  • the insults kept coming and coming and you brushed it off and threw an insult back but you were lowkey like damn .. what if he’s right about me? that i’m not even good enough to be in the senior varsity team??? am i good enough to be the captain ??? 
  • so you started practicing more and more, coming in the gym when you didn’t need to and you stayed up until like 10:00 pm sometimes just to at least improve a little bit 
  • guanlin had other activities he needed to attend to that would sometimes end at around the time you leave the school gym and he would see you all sweaty and out of breath with a gym bag and water bottle at hand and he would wonder why you were still here but in the back of his head 
  • he knew that you were to practice because he insulted you about your skills in the sport 
  • he felt bad but it’s not like he can take it back anymore. both you and him have established this relationship where you’re just constantly throwing hateful words with one another and his pride is too big for him to apologize to you 
  • so once the games started, you had no choice but to watch the boys because both teams would play at the same day 
  • sometimes you’d watch guanlin and forget all about the little rivalry you both had. he played with precision and you admired it but once he would look back and wink at all those girls watching him… you’d be like yikes and you’d see the cocky and overly confident person 
  • the season went by quickly and next think u know… its finals 
  • you’ve been working extra hard for it even harder than before and guanlin would also come in and practice. at first you shared heated conversations with one another about how they were stealing their gym and ur gonna steal it again??? you told him to just suck it up and live you alone because all you had in mind was the game that you and your team wanted to win 
  • so one day, you were making a shot when your feet fell in the wrong place and you fell down with a yelp. guanlin, being in the same room, heard the sound and was like ???? what the hell just happened 
  • he saw you on the floor, hand on your ankles and he decided to help you because he knows what it feels like to be in that pain. he saw the look of defeat on your face when you fell and he saw himself in you. he’s also gone through the practice and failure before 
  • he came up to you and  you glared at him because you thought he was gonna say some insult to you again but all he did was quietly sit down with a first aid kit he found in the corner of the gym and started going for your ankles
  • you moved away and he was confused because was he that mean of a person to you that you don’t even want him to help with your injury? 
  • “look, i know we’re note exactly on the best terms with one another but let me help you. just this once” you slowly agreed and let him take care of your injury and he knew what was doing 
  • he made sure that you weren’t hurt while he was trying to fix you up and after he was done he stands up and says “don’t make me do that again, take care of yourself next time” and walked away 
  • mean guanlin was back but he also told you to be careful so i guess he was also being nice ??? 
  • you got up, limping, and went home but you didn’t know that that night
  • guanlin made sure to stay back and watch to see if you were okay to go home by yourself 
  • he stayed in the corner and told himself that if you were really struggling, he’d jump in and help but when he saw that you were fine, he left when you were out of his sight 
  • after that day, guanlin seemed a little bit … nicer???  the insults from him went from 10 times a day to at least 2 and you found it a bit weird but you were just like i guess that its better this way ??? you were just confused on why it just suddenly started dying down
  • like you didn’t wanna overthink about it because you thought it was stupid but you would thought to yourself, “is it because he hates me to the point where he doesn’t even wanna waste time on me anymore???” 
  • so when you had the practices with guanlin by yourself, he would sometimes come in with another bottle of a sports drink and leave it at your side of the court and you’d just be like ??? but also you’d slip in a small thank you and he’d just shrug and say that its because the machine gave him another one 
  • hateful words that were thrown at one another 2 times a day has now turned into late night conversations at the gym floors (even tho it was dirty)  
  • it started one night when you were sitting at the benches just sitting down, looking at your hands and playing with them
  • guanlin came in and he was usually met by the sound of the basketballs bouncing but he didn’t hear anything so he looked around the gym for you and he found you there, sitting at the bench 
  • he asked what was wrong and that was when you broke down, telling him what you’ve been feeling. the pressure that came with being captain, the injury that’s been hurting your ankles, etc 
  • he frowned and gave you advice, pushing out the tiny hatred he once had for you. like tbh, he doesn’t know why he started insulting you in the first place?? 
  • maybe its because when he saw your name as the captain of the varsity team, he was confused to why someone new was taking such a high place but once he saw how hard you worked throughout the season he gained admiration and respect for you but he hid it with his insults 
  • but from then on, you would occasionally share your problems with one another but it never got too deep. it went from hating being in the same room to being fine with it and even smiling at one another when you met eyes. you’d slip in a playful insult once in awhile but it was never directed to be mean 
  • once finals rolled up, your game was first and you were trying to calm down your nerves by just jumping up and down and guanlin comes up to you and touches your shoulders and he looks you in the eye and tells you that you were gonna do great, it gave you the energy that you didn’t have before 
  • you played the game flawlessly and as you were about to take your last shot, your feet falls in the same exact way it did when you first got the first injury 
  • you fall and guanlin is instantly by your side, asking you if you were alright and you say that you’re fine !!! you tell him to not worry about you and go play his own game
  • and once his game starts, it was intense and you could see how much stress guanlin was in. you yelled his name and he looked at you and he felt like everything was fine for just a minute and he had the energy to continue and play again 
  • at the end of the game, guanlin gets the buzzer beater and honestly, you cheered the loudest in the whole gym LMAO 
  • he was instantly bombarded with his friends and his teammates but throughout them hyping him up, he kept eye contact with you and you grinned and mouthed “good job!” in which he smiled even more wide. you threw in a finger heart there somewhere hoping he wouldn’t notice but…he did 
  • once he broke free out his friends hugs and cheers, he instantly came to you and you welcomed him with a hug even though you both were sweaty and tired
  • “i know we started in a bad way but.. would you like to go on a date with me?” he says, as he pulls you closer to him
  • the answer is pretty obvious but in the background you could hear the audience cheering, his teammates cheering, basically the WHOLE SCHOOL cheering 
  • imagine the basketball captains dating together like WOW GOALS  
  • dating guanlin include: him letting you borrow his basketball hoodie that says his last name and first name. you say that you don’t need it cause you have your own but he gets pouty so you give in and wear it. when you wear it, he literally has the biggest grin and he gets so happy and giddy when he sees you in it. 
  • late night dates at the basketball court where you 1v1 one another. you win like every time so you get kinda suspicious and he just shrugs and says that youre good and that youve always been better than him 
  • one day u were like hey guanlin the machine never gave u extra drinks right ? and hes like ya it did??? and then ur like “the school never had machines that gave out sports drinks” and hes just like uhhh GOTTA BLAST  
Touching You (7/17)

Bucky x Reader
WC
1172
Summary You meet Bucky in a club and things progress. After a one night stand, you find him at your place of work the next day. After reading your texts, he shows up where you are at that evening where he eventually walks you home and things heat up between the two of you. Again. After breakfast the next day, you go your separate ways for the day.
Warnings Swearing
AN Peeps! You find out what Bucky does… and why he’s been sneaky with Y/N! (I really didn’t plan for it to take this long to come out!)
This is a series I started thanks to an idea @melconnor2007 helped me come up with. Not sure how long it’s going to be as it’s a WIP.  18+ only 
Also, I suck at summaries. Sorry Tags are open (I’m tagging my usual people but let me know if you want off)


As Bucky walked away from you, his phone rang. “Barnes here.”

“Where the hell are you?” came Sam’s irate voice.

Bucky rolled his eyes, “I’m on my way. Calm down.”

“Are you seriously telling me you’re still with Y/N?”

Bucky’s temper flared, “I’m not with Y/N. I’m leaving Y/N now and I am on my way to the fucking office. Get off my back.”

“Take a fucking cab. We picked up your car from The Tower.” Sam disconnected the call.

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UPDATED: UNI/COLLEGE AU
Louis knows about beauty; the combination of qualities that pleases the aesthetic senses. He creates that combination every day in the garments he designs while studying fashion at uni. The cut of the design, the color of the fabric, the intricacy of the stitching; it all comes together to create something beautiful. When the science student with the long legs and dimpled smile agrees to model for him, Louis decides he’s found beauty personified. Harry just thinks Louis needs someone to show him how beautiful he is.the one where Louis’ pretty sure he’s already loved and lost his soulmate, and then he meets Harry.Harry’s a frat boy who is head over heels for Louis and Louis wants nothing to do with him.Louis, to his horror, attends an elitist university in which the name Zayn Malik means something, Niall Horan doesn’t stop talking, there are pianos everywhere, and Harry Styles, only son of a drug-addled, clinically insane ex-rocker, has a perfect smile and empty eyes.Monica: You’ve got to see her again.
Ross: And why do you care so much?
Monica: Because! You could get to live out my fantasy!
Ross: You had fantasies about Emily?
Monica: No! Y’know, the fantasy! Meet someone from a strange land, fall madly in love, and spend the rest of your lives together.

The one where Harry Styles moves to Connecticut from England for nine months as a part of a study abroad program, and he just so happens to move in with Louis Tomlinson and family.Louis is an architecture student who can only think about the future. Harry is a baseball player who can only think about right now. Both are lonely for different reasons. Boybands bring them together.
Or, this may just be a long love letter to Louis’ voice, I’m not sure.
Based on the following prompt: Harry and Louis are university students who go to the same bar on the weekends. The bar has karaoke and Louis likes to sing Disney/Musical/Boyband songs sometimes. Harry thinks he’s cute so he starts singing Disney/Musical/Boyband songs and flirting with him while he’s on stage.Few can handle Louis Tomlinson on the dance floor, much less match him in skill and fervor. Louis has obviously met his soul mate; he just never expected him to be wearing a red snapback and to chew gum like an entitled Mercedes owner.
or
A spring break (kind of) fake relationship AULouis comes to university looking for a drama degree and a purpose in life. He gets significantly more than he bargained for.
He’s got a secret stash of weed under the floorboards, his grades are going to shit and his mates keep getting pissed. There are secret passageways in the wardrobes and he really needs to get Niall a girlfriend. And most importantly, he can’t take his mind off the mysterious law student down the hall…Louis Tomlinson is a law student with a simple but effective four step plan: 1. Finish law school. 2. Get hired somewhere awesome. 3. Marry his best friend and boyfriend of two years, Harry. 4. Live happily ever after.
Harry Styles doesn’t know what he wants to do with his life, where he wants to go, who he wants to be, or if he even wants the college degree he’s almost completed. All he does know is who he’ll be with forever, as long as Louis wants to keep him around.
Or: the painfully realistic college au where everyone’s poor, lovesick, tired of school, terrified of the future, and still having the greatest times of their lives.“You’d better run, cause there’s no way you can hide from me.”
.
Harry and Louis are the two most popular boys at SDSU, but they don’t get along. At all. They belong to rival fraternities and they are constantly playing pranks and screwing with each other. Everyone can see that the school slut and the pretty boy would never be friends, but when alcohol and parties are thrown in the mix, things can change.The next second, Harry is firing back, “If I wanted to kill you I could have just poisoned your fajitas.”
Louis rolls his eyes. “Clever boy.”
Harry feels his skin start to prickle with irritation. The way Louis talks to him, so condescending… Like he’s smarter than Harry… Fuck that.
“I don’t have time for this,” Harry says. “Some of us have schoolwork to do. And jobs to get to. So if you’ll excuse me.”
Harry doesn’t wait for a reply before he pushes past Louis, hoisting his bag further up his shoulder and rushing towards the door. No, not rushing. That would imply Louis is chasing him out. He walks to the door hastily.
He’s not sure, but he thinks he hears Louis mutter “Fucking wanker” before the door to the flat clicks shut behind him.
…Or, the one where Harry and Louis are unlikely uni flatmates who definitely don’t like each other and definitely won’t fall in love (even if Liam and Niall think otherwise).Harry can’t believe it when Louis, the boy he’s always had a tempestuous rivalry with, asks him to be his boyfriend. Well, pose as his boyfriend, that is—for a new television game show in which young couples are quizzed on how well they know each other for a jackpot of thirty grand.
Reluctantly, Harry agrees—because he’s got student loans to pay off, hasn’t he? What’s the harm? And he can totally deal with keeping his secret thing for Louis under wraps too. This is all just to win some money. It’s fine. No big deal. What could possibly go wrong?
Well, everything. Obviously.Louis is a film student, Harry is a musician, and shooting a music video doesn’t help on the path of trying not to fall in love.Everybody knows that Louis has never been one for serious boyfriends. His reputation around campus precedes him, which is why he doesn’t think twice before proudly telling his mother about his new and completely fabricated relationship with his oddly quiet and completely gorgeous new roommate Harry to shut her up about his lack of commitment. It’s the perfect lie; a flawless plan, or at least it was until Louis’ ordered to bring his fabulous new boyfriend home.louis tomlinson is awful. harry is just as difficult, and they’re both terrible to each other. it makes being in the same acapella group together quite complicated.

Uni AU, in which Harry is a part-time yoga instructor with rock hard nipples and skin-tight leggings, and Louis most definitely isn’t charmed.

After a seemingly meaningless one night stand, Louis accepts that he’ll never see Harry Styles again. The plan goes to shit when Harry ends up on his cheer team.
Basically, Louis’s cheer captain, and Harry doesn’t end up on the bleachers.Louis doesn’t do relationships. He’s been there, done it, got the scars to prove it. Never letting anyone too close, Louis can be head over heels for someone for one night but when morning comes, he will be out of the door, no feelings and no regrets.
Harry always gives too much, trusts too easily, falls too quickly. Even when he gets nothing in return.
Forced to attend University, Harry bumps into his sister’s roommate and another time, another day Harry would have been a goner the very second he’d laid eyes on Louis. But he’s already got the perfect boyfriend and Louis is the complete opposite of perfect.
Louis isn’t someone who Harry thought he could ever be with, and Louis never thought he’d break his rules for anyone.
Sometimes being wrong isn’t so bad after all.The Uni AU where Louis helps Harry figure out his sexuality, Niall crashes a bachelorette party, Liam works in a printing centre, and Zayn happens to need lots of printing done.It’s been over a year since Louis broke up with Harry and Harry still believes in forever. And maybe the world does, too.Tumblr!AU.
Louis is an insecure mess and he hides behind his blog. Harry’s a boy with a personality too bright and he’s everything Louis thought he would hate. They end up falling in love.Harry’s just finished his first year of uni on his way to becoming Dr. Harry Styles, Neurosurgeon. He’s young, he has endless potential, three amazing best mates, a new love and the world at his fingertips. The fact that his new boyfriend may or may not be a sex-worker, of course, throws a wrench into the works. But it’s not true. Really.
Probably.
It most definitely might not be entirely true. And that’s all Harry needs to know.The instructions were simple: seduce and destroy Harry Styles. Not once did they discuss the option of Louis actually falling in love. So, naturally, that’s exactly what he did.Uni AU. Harry had turned up at the halls of residence expecting fun, new friends, and maybe a life experience or two. What he doesn’t expect is a surprise roommate who’s loud and dramatic and obsessed with tea and is maybe, actually, all he’s ever wanted.American Uni AU. Harry Styles is a frat boy football star from the wealthy Styles Family athletic dynasty. A celebrity among football fans, he knows how to play, he knows how to party, and he knows how to fuck (all of which is well known among his legion of admirers).
Louis Tomlinson is a student and an athlete, but his similarities to Harry end there. Intelligent, focused, independent, and completely uninterested in Harry’s charms, Louis is an anomaly in a world ruled by football.
A bet about the pair, who might be more similar than they originally thought, brings them together. Shakespeare, ballet, Disney, football, library chats, running, accidental spooning, Daredevil and Domino’s Pizza all blend into one big friendship Frappucino, but who will win in the end?
Dodgeball

Notes: My best friend in all of the internet and fic soulmate literally had the week from hell and it pains me that she’s just having such a rough time while I’m six hours and an ocean away and can’t do shit about. Anyway, this dumpster fire fic is dedicated to my bestie @welllpthisishappening​ who is my favorite person aside from Dan and deserves all the love and good fortune in the world. This isn’t my best writing, but if it makes her smile, that’s all I care about. Special thanks to @cocoa-and-rum​ for riffling through this nonsense and making it more coherent. Tagging @the-girl-in-the-band-tshirt​, @idristardis​, @1handedpiratewithadrinkingprob​, @imhookedonaswan​ because they asked to be tagged in this nonsense and are incredibly supportive.
Summary: Killian Jones has been a pain in Emma Swan’s ass since grad school. A game of dodgeball changes that.
Rating: T
Word Count: 3,100+


Looking back at it, Emma Swan doesn’t know how she ever thought the incident was her fault. In all honestly, it was only a matter of time before she retaliated and he got what he finally deserved.

Killian Jones had been torturing her since kindergarten. When they were six, he had pulled her pigtails. In middle school, he had doused her with water balloons. Now, in their senior year of high school, he had decided the best course of action would be to taunt her during gym class. It didn’t matter whether they played water polo or handball, he would wait for her outside the locker rooms during gym class and taunt her until Coach Teach’s whistle blew ten minutes before the period ended.

Today was no different and as Emma walked out of the girls’ locker room, he was waiting for her; leaning against a row of stacked bleachers with his arms across in front of his chest and that signature lazy smirk spread across his face. He was already dressed in his gym clothes and Emma was doing her best not to look at the snug fit of his athletic shorts.

“Ready to lose, Swan?” Killian asked.

Emma narrowed her eyes at him, lips pursed into a deep frown as she regarded her childhood rival. She unscrewed the cap of her water bottle and began filling it at the neighboring bubbler.

“Not on your life,” she replied. “If anything, I can’t wait to wipe that smug look off your face.”

“That’s a lie and you know it,” he chuckled. “You like my face.”

She scoffed, looking down at her water bottle, focusing on it to fight the blush that was threatening to stain her cheeks.

“I don’t know what drugs Jefferson’s been selling but you should reconsider. They’re really messing with your brain if you think there’s anything about you I like,” she replied, still looking at her water bottle.

“Not on drugs, love,” Killian responded, not even remotely phased by her barbs. “You know school policy. Athletes can get randomly tested. Can’t risk that,” he replied, chuckling.

“Right, Captain,” Emma replied, sneering at  his title as she capped her bottle and turned to face him. “I forgot. You’re naturally this stupid.”

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Better With You

Characters: Steve x Reader.

Summary: Steve Rogers pushed you away and now you both have to figure out a way to co-exist which is easier said than done.

Word Count:  2128 words

A/N: This is part two to You’re Happier Aren’t You? For all those of you who wanted a fluffier ending.

Originally posted by imaginesofeveryfandom

You had put this moment off for as long as you could.  Standing in front of Avengers Tower you took a deep breath and replayed the words of Fury back through your head, hoping just the memory of his tone would scare your feet into action. “You’ve had an extra month on this and Murdoch isn’t gonna budge now get your ass back here or find yourself another job.”  Blinking rapidly you steadied your nerve and opened the door just hoping you could avoid crossing paths with Captain America for as long as possible.

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Sledgehammer

Chapter Nine

Previous Chapter

Pairing: Steve Rogers x Reader  |  Word Count: 2487
Warnings: Angst and swearing


Steve sat on the bed in his girl’s room with his head in his hands. It had been five days and she was still missing.

Tony and Bruce had made it to the place she’d crashed, finding his bike, beat up yet still functional, but it didn’t matter to him.

She was gone, disappeared without a trace.

None of Tony’s tricks had worked, none of his tech had worked, and nothing the Iron Man had thought up in the last few days had them any closer to finding her.

The Hulk had torn through the trees in anger, calming only after he’d destroyed half the forest, allowing Bruce to return and assist with sorting through the mess.

Now, after days of piecing it all together, they had a disturbing overview of what Garry had been doing. FRIDAY had been able to pull up partial conversations she’d had with Bucky, one she’d had with Sam, the one with Bruce. She’d replayed what had occurred in the lounge with Sharon, adding in the arrival of (Y/N) and her subsequent race for the garage.

But they didn’t know why.

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Nouveau Départ  | 02

Originally posted by jjeonguk

humor | angst | smut | fluff | smartalec!jungkook | spoiled!reader

word count: 4.5k

Its January, the start of another shitty year at Mendia High and your vivacious parents are coming in 2 months for a report on how you’re doing in the aspects of grades, reputation and of course the long awaited–dating. This means 8.7 weeks to change your attitude–60 days to pull up your grades–1,440 hours to land a decent boyfriend. There is nobody decent enough to help you–therefore you have no choice but to turn to the schools’ derisive dweeb, Jeon Jungkook. Watch yourself struggle to cope with the smart-assed boy as he tries to transform you into a changed lady that everyone would look at differently.”      


“You look like shit.”

“I know.” Yoongi’s bluntness makes you smile a little—even through your sleepy state. You’ve stayed up for so many hours, doing research for the school’s dumb debate team. Now you were enervated and restless due to your now-disturbed slumber pattern.

“Alright, good you acknowledge it—but would you like to explain why?” the terrible audio of the facetime feature does his soothing voice no justice, but you can still make out what he’s trying to say.

“No,” you sigh and continue. “But I don’t want you to threaten to spank my ass even if you’re pretty fucking far away from me right now.”

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You know what I’d like to read some day?

Joji’s memoir.

Because he has GOT to know so much shit on everybody. All t, all shade.


“Day 200. St. Augustine.
Dufresne thinks he can do the job of captain, now that his balls have dropped, Bates is dead and Billy is potential mermaid. Uses sword right- -side-up one time and suddenly thinks he’s Francis Drake. Actual Captain pretend moping but scheming with oily curl. Low on entertainment so will wait and see.”

“Day 202. The sea???
Betsy bit Silver. Revenge over terrible food most likely. Captain rubbing beard at 30 second intervals. Scheme implementation imminent.”

“Day 367. Freeport.
Captain looking at the Quartermaster like the sun shines out of his arse. Again. Gay.
Speaking of, need to ask Silver about his hair care routine. May have good tips.
Heard Billy tell Dobbs one day he’ll be Captain and then Flint will see. Then he bumped his big giant head into a beam that’s always been there. Not holding my breath for that one.
Am considering removing soul patch. Look ridiculous with all the bushy beards around here. Everyone sporting full muff on their face now, to show how tough they are. Pathetic.
Sword number two looking bent in weird shape. Concerning.”

“Day 549. Becalmed.
Do not understand why we are not allowed to eat the dairy goat. We are starving. How is that goat still alive???
DeGroot says she is officially married to one of the crew members and pirate law prohibits the murder of fellow matelot.
Have decided to eat Muldoon instead. Small, manageable, already dead. Not too much hair. Will convince crew I found hidden salted pork, where no one looked before. The things I do for them. Am too good for this crew.”

“Day 700. Nassau.
Am now fully convinced Captain stealing Quartermaster’s youth this whole time, in nefarious plan to remain immortal. Long, loving stares must be doing it. They are starting to look like a before and after pic. Ginger beard never looked more luscious. Am sticking with Captain. Sword number one looks sad though.”