captain-eds

anonymous asked:

Hello! I love your writing! Even the fics in fandoms or about pairings that I'm not usually into! It just makes me want to go and write and try to reach your standard :) I was wondering, would you ever do maybe an FMA/HP crossover ? Or FMA/YOI crossover ?? Or a crossover in general? They're pretty hard to do I think. But you'd ace it, because I'm sure if you did, it would be the best darn crossover and I'd love you

thank you that’s so sweet to say!!!!

okay so here’s the thing: i don’t LOVE crossovers usually, it takes a certain something to get me invested, and i one hundred percent don’t have a full fic in me. but –

edward elric, the cleverest wizard of his age. edward elric, who is just as extraordinary in this as he is everything else. he’s a hufflepuff, of course he is, you’d think he’d be a ravenclaw except literally the only thing more important to him than knowledge is loyalty and fairness  and what’s right. so.

he’s quiet and even surrounded by people he seems alone and there’s more than one slytherin vying for his attention, desperate to claim some of that shining talent for their own. but he rebukes them all, has no patience for stupidity or being used or political games. he’s the son of a muggle and a long absent wizard, and his brother – his brother is a squib.

edward hates hogwarts, hates the time he’s forced to spend away from his family. he has a single friend, winry, a fast talking ravenclaw, and she’s the only one who can pull genuine smiles from him.

his house doesn’t dislike him, but they know he likes to be left alone and they respect that. he gets them more points with perfect spells and perfect essays than any other student, so they like him and he’s never mean or rude, just quiet, so they all have a general sense of goodwill towards him but aren’t really friends. except alex armstrong who bursts into tears whenever he seems him, because armstrong is the hufflepuff quidditch captain and ed refuses to be the team’s seeker, or anything at all, even though anyone who’s seen him on a broom knows he’s just as capable and talented at it as anything else.

and lets talk about ed’s talent. ed who midway through first year got bored and started doing spells wordlessly. then wandlessly. who spends every waking moment in the library studying who the hell knows what because it’s certainly not classwork. he does all his spells without a wand or word now, no one has seen him even touch a wand since his second year. and it’s fear and awe that mark him too, because even dumbledore keeps track of his wand, uses it if he doesn’t have to, but ed doesn’t bother. he got straight Os in all his owls and he never pays attention in class but can answer any question or perform any spell asked of him so it’s not like the teachers can do anything with that.

then there’s slytherin seventh year roy okay, and his merry band of people – slytherin maes, gryffindor riza, gryffindor havoc, falman and fuery in raveclaw, breda in hufflepuff. and he’s fascinated by ed, they all are, who wouldn’t be? roy’s the quidditch captain for the slytherin team and hast to listen to armstrong cry at least once a week about ed’s wasted potential.

then the triwizard tournament happens. whole schools are submitted, and the best is chosen from each. everyone expects it to be roy – handsome, popular, powerful, with a special studies in fire spells.

roy knows better. he doesn’t say anything but he’s not surprised at all when edward elric’s name pops out of the goblet. the hufflepuffs are going crazy, and roy makes sure to cheer just as loudly with them.

the other two champions are rose, a quiet girl with a friendly smile, and ling, a not-quiet boy who already spends all his free time attempting to irritate ed into being friends with him, and this isn’t going to help at all.

so the first task happens. the dragons. ling uses a freezing spell to slow the beast down and gets a broken arm and a gash down his side for his trouble, but gets the egg. rose conjured a flock of birds to distract it and went for an egg, but the dragon used a puff of fire to kill the birds and burn half of rose’s body in a singe breath. but she gets the egg.

then it’s ed’s turn. he stands there, staring. does nothing. he takes a step forward. waits. takes another. waits. takes another, and the dragon rears up against him, so he takes a step back. she quiets back down, and he waits, and takes another step forward. that’s what he does. for hours. people have literally fallen asleep in their seats by the time ed has worked his way to the dragon’s nest, being watched carefully but not attacked, being trusted, and picks up the golden egg. the dragon’s nostrils flare and ed holds it up for her inspection, and she realize it’s not her egg at all, and settles back down, and ed backs up and away.

and that’s how ed gets the dragon egg with not a single bit of a magic and without a scratch on him.

roy wonders why ed is even bothering to compete, because he doesn’t seem that invested in it. the other champions are seen studying and practicing, are found with their professors colluding and working. ed continues on as if nothing has happened.

then the second task takes place. ed shows up late but he shows up furious, and roy wonders who it was that they took, because he can see winry sitting anxiously in the stands below him. ed reaches into his sleeve and takes out his wand and roy goes rigid in his seat and maes lets out a curse besides him. ed hasn’t used his wand in four years, hasn’t needed to, and if he’s using it now –

he says a spell they can’t hear and makes large encompassing swish – and then the entire great lake is lifted into the air.

the lakebed is dry and edward suspends the massive ball of water and merpeople and giant squid likes it’s nothing, is holding aloft something bigger than the hogwarts castle, and ed uses his other hand to point and direct, is doing two spells simultaneously, and roy didn’t even know that was possible. a hole opens up in the lake and a mer-person drops out, screaming. then another. then another. the screams are so high and so awful that roy is certain he’s going to have nightmares about it.

“give him back,” he says, voice clear and rippling with banked fury. “give him back

and a merperson swims to the edge, holding out a sleeping boy that looks remarkable like edward. ed lets the lake drop back to earth with a thunderous wave that soaks the judges. the boy comes gasping awake, still suspended in the air, and ed levitates him gently to the ground. the other champions are still in the lake.  the boy clings to ed, wet and shivering, and ed presses a kiss to his forehead and glares at the judges table. they give him a perfect score, shaken by what they’d seen as much as the students, and they march away.

later, roy and company worm their way into a conversation in the library, where ed sits with his brother going through a book in a language roy doesn’t recognize. “so,” he says awkwardly, now with two sets of scarily intelligent eyes fastened on him, “that was an impressive spell.”

ed snorts and rolls his eyes. “spells,” he scoffs, “great big waste of time if you ask me. wave a stick and say some words and you too can do the same damn spell as thousands before you. pathetic.”

“oh,” maes says, taken aback and wide eyed, “that’s uh,” he looks to alphonse, grimaces, and goes, “okay.”

“he’s not saying that because I’m a squib,” al says, “he’s just a nerd who like things that can be quantified and explained. magic isn’t really his thing.”

roy stares. the most powerful wizard he’s ever seen, and magic isn’t his thing.

“fuck flamel,” he snarls, “if he didn’t insist i get my newts before taking me on as an apprentice – he didn’t make you wait to begin learning!”

“but i cant do magic,” al says reasonably, “besides, i’m learning from his daughter now. we’ll learn from him together when you graduate.”

ed wrinkles his nose, “better hogwarts than izumi. i guess.”

“nicholas flamel?” falman breaks in, “you want to learn alchemy?”

“we want to master alchemy,” ed corrects, “the basics are easy enough, but flamel made a philospher’s stone. do you have any idea the level of mastery that takes?”

“we don’t really want to live forever,” al frowns, “but it is the ultimate test. we won’t rest until we make one.”

they all stare. “alphonse,” havoc says hesitantly, “are you – can you –“

he blinks, “of course. i may not be able to do it without circles like brother and flamel, but i’m not inept. that’s why i’m learning from izumi – she’s a squib and has to use circles too.”

“circles,” maes repeats, completely lost, “what?”

al sighs and takes out a piece of chalk, “like this,” and sketches out an array on the table. he grabs a notebook and puts it in the center, and with a crackle of energy its transformed into a bouquet of live flowers.

“nice trick of pulling water from the air,” ed says.

they’re all flabbergasted. “transfiguration?” maes asks.

“yeah sure,” ed rolls his eyes, “the same way cutting out a snowflake from a piece of paper is like origami.”

they keep staring. ed stares back. it’s the beginning of a beautiful friendship.

ed doesn’t win the tournament because he lets ling win for reason he refuses to explain, will only say that it was more important to him.

roy pesters and irritates ed until he agrees to teach him alchemy, and even grudgingly says roy has a knack for it. so he sets it up that when al and ed are studying with flamel roy is studying with his daughter, and he goes to ed and al whenever he gets confused because they’re at least less scary than izumi.

ed and al create the philosopher’s stone, and promptly destroy it. roy becomes a master of fire alchemy. they all live happily ever after.

Anyway, I just realized that Spider-Man: Homecoming had the best romance plotline the earth-based MCU movies have seen in years

In case you didn’t comprehend the meaning, let me be clear: relationship drama between two acne-fighting virgins who are probably still reeling from the sight of Captain America giving sex-ed advice is currently less awkward and more interesting than a botched play on Beauty and the Beast, a playboy sorcerer mansplaining to his helpless coworker, and a man who makes out with his ex’s niece.

youtube

Ed Helms getting angry at a prank.

Captain of the Guard

Edmund Pevensie x Reader

Requested by: @valiantunknownshark, @alwaysinnarnia, and two anons

A/N: So I smooshed like four requests together for this one, and I’m pretty satisfied with how it turned out for the most part!

@nicolejones412 Thought you might want to read this :)


“What’s the commotion in the courtyard, Peter?” Edmund asked. His brother, who had just walked in, looked amused.

“A knight from a far off kingdom has come to challenge you to a duel.”

“Oh?” he laughed. “Then I suppose I should go down to greet him. I always love sparring with foreigners. So long as they’re good sportsmans… They often have different styles of fighting to trade.”

Peter smiled at him. “Indeed. Even when you lose, the fight was not a waste so long as you learn something. Now come, let’s not disappoint our guest.” 

Keep reading

So Ed Helms, who voiced the Onceler, is now going to voice Captain Underpants.

Am I worried that Tumblr Fangirls are gonna obsess over Captain Underpants the way they did with the Onceler?

Of course not!

Tumblr Fangirls only had the hots for the Onceler because he was a skinny douche bag with an emo hair cut. Captain Underpants is a fat funny bald guy, and everybody knows that Tumblr Fangirls would never find that attractive.

I was thumbing through my Marvel app this morning looking through the new releases and noticed they re-released Steve Rogers: Super Soldier by Ed Brubaker as a complete collection. I recommend this one for Steve Rogers fans. 

This little series (it was originally maybe six issues) contains one of my favorite Steve epiphanies:

…where he concludes that all the bullying he suffered from as a child didn’t harden him, but made him that much more determined to help protect others.

“…Those beatings and that scared, skinny, sickly little Steve Rogers…that was where the man I became was really born. Not in the fires of war, not in a secret government lab, but in a sense of justice.” 

I also love this series because as you can tell in the page above (the sepia pictures are him as a child, but the full colored panels are Steve, in the present, temporarily de-serumed), Steve had the serum taken from him but he’s still kicking butt based entirely on his years of combat training. So yes, even a smol!Steve can bring it!

Anyway, for anyone wanting to escape the awfulness of Spencer to read some actually good Steve Rogers content, try this one.

Oh, forgot to add the most important thing this series contains… Steve in a tux. ;)