captain-crocodile

anonymous asked:

Any idea what Gideon might be up to? And why he'd think you could hinder his plans?

My sword is near useless against Gideon’s magic,  which means his concern for my presence in Storybrooke is more indirect.   But my weakness offered him a opening.  

It allowed him to exploit Emma’s fears and I’ve little doubt that he means to attack before she’s recovered from the blow. 

To cut me off from her at the precise moment that would cause her the most pain, without inspiring her anger in return…  It’s a strategy I would not have expected from one so newly in town.  It has the perceptiveness of an old enemy.   

Captain Hook is an evil pirate who fears nothing … except flying boys in pantyhose. And crocodiles. And watches. Well, maybe he’s a bit more fearful than your average pirate, but that’s understandable – one time Peter Pan fed Hook’s watch to a crocodile, along with the appendage it was attached to.

Since that day, the mere sound of a ticking watch sends the guy into ‘Nam-like flashbacks. In the movie Hook, he even has a room full of broken clocks as a grim reminder of his impending doom. Good thing he also has the love and support of his faithful second in command, Mr. Smee, across all possible realities …

except our reality, because the real-life version of Smee probably killed the guy Captain Hook is based on. John Maher was a preacher at St. George’s parish in the English village of Brede, East Sussex. At first glance, Maher appeared to be no more than a regular, small town reverend, who just happened to have an ominous hook in place of his left hand. He told everyone he lost it in a coaching accident, and no one had any reason to doubt his story … until a man named Smith came into town and revealed he lost it in his previous career as a brutal goddamned pirate. Apparently, Maher had a pretty successful career as a swashbuckler until he decided to strand his partner (Smith) in the Caribbean, relocate to Brede, and become a man of the cloth. Because the Christian church is where the realbooty is at.

5 True Stories Too Unbelievable for the Movies They Inspired

  • Rumple: aha! I am locking Belle up. She'll be in love with me again in no time.
  • Charming: wait what?!
  • Hook: is that your actual strategy?!
  • Rumple: oh come on
  • Rumple: it worked for you two
  • Rumple: caught in a net
  • Rumple: locked in a dungeon
  • Rumple: that's how you true love, right?
  • Charming:
  • Hook:
  • Charming: I don't think you've quite got the hang of this yet... you've locked her up loads of times, but she needs to hit you over the head first, really
  • Hook: aye, or handcuff you to something
  • Charming: or like at least seriously threaten you
  • Hook: ooooh yes
  • Hook: better yet, skip the locking up and the hitting, just give her a pair of handcuffs
  • Hook: trust me, you'll have way more fun
  • Charming:
  • Rumple:
  • Hook: what?
  • Hook: get your affairs in order, dearie, for we duel at noon on my ship!
  • Rumple: dawn
  • Hook: what?
  • Rumple: it's supposed to be dawn
  • Rumple: super dramatic duels happen at dawn
  • Rumple: it's more dramatic
  • Hook:
  • Hook: no it's not
  • Rumple: yes it is, everyone knows that
  • Hook: no they don't
  • Rumple: yeah, dawn, you know, start of the day, end of your life, it's a poetic juxtaposition
  • Hook: YOU'RE a poetic juxtaposition
  • Rumple: noon just makes it sound like you stayed in bed till eleven
  • Hook: maybe I DID, I have an evil girlfriend you know
  • Rumple:
  • Rumple: look at the very least you could've said HIGH noon, you know, like in the Westerns?
  • Hook: what the bloody hell is a Western
  • Rumple: oh good grief
  • Hook: SHUT UP it's my first day on the job don't be mean
True Hate

Based on @lillpon (…i think it was you) idea - if Killian in the Underworld did not feel anything, not even hate towards Rumplestiltskin.

Emma: I can’t believe it. He’s just a hollow shell now…but we haven’t lost him yet.

Rumple:…this is a disaster

EVERYONE LOOKS AT RUMPLE.

Snow: What?

Rumple: *sniffs* He’s the only one who ever truly hated me.

Regina:…. I hate you. (a/n. i think she does…eh, who cares)

Rumple: Yes but…you don’t understand. The pirate and I have been through so much together. He stole my wife, I cut off his hand, he shot Belle, stabbed me, then I took his heart and almost forced him to kill his true love…And now… he doesn’t hate me anymore…

David: You say that as if it’s a bad thing…

Rumple: Of course it is!

FLASH FORWARD TO WHEN THEY FINALLY FIND KILLIAN

Killian: What the bloody hell are you doing here?

Rumple: Because…I hate you.

Killian:….I hate you, too.

FOETP FOR EVER, DARLINGS! XD

From Colouring Shakespeare

Read Simon Callow’s foreword from Colouring Shakespeare, a new book from Modern Books featuring stunning illustrations from Shakespeare’s most famous sonnets and speeches.

How well I remember, as a little boy, working my way through my grandmothers’ libraries, systematically colouring in all the illustrations with my trusty crayons: The Cricket on the Hearth, A Tale of Two Cities, and that scary cautionary tale, Eric or, Little by Little. By far my favourite was Peter Pan – the hours I lavished on Captain Hook and the crocodile! My grandmothers were kindly, encouraging women, and they could see that the colouring in made the books more my own – it made reading them an interactive experience. The books I thus collaborated on were mostly children’s books, the ones I had read. There was, however, a set of books that I longed to get my hands on – the plays of William Shakespeare.

I adored those books, four big volumes: Tragedies, Comedies, Histories and Romances and Poems. I read them out loud, weeping and laughing and orating. I hardly knew what I was saying, half the time, but the combination of the sounds and the illustrations on the pages brought the world of the plays vividly before my eyes. The pictures were rather brilliantly done, black and white engravings, each very different in character – clean lines for Rome, lovely florid ornamentation for Italy, an earthy sort of quality for the English History plays.

And there were all the towering figures from the plays – Richard III, Brutus, Juliet, Lady Macbeth, Bottom, Titania and her fairies, Shylock, Falstaff – all modelled, I now realise, on productions of the late Victorian period, revealing the acting styles of their epoch. Their great merit was that they were clear: they told the story. They seemed to be inviting me to flesh them out in colour. I was stopped from doing so – they were venerable volumes, and my additions would not have added to their market value – but I wish there had been Shakespeare colouring books then.

Colouring Shakespeare by Judy Stevens and Simon Callow, published by Modern Books, will be available to be in-store at the Globe Shop. 

What’s more, we’re giving away a copy, signed by Simon Callow, on Twitter – so keep your eyes on our social media for the chance to win one.

  • Charming: ugh this is the second time I've had to work for Rumple
  • Hook: oh no! what monstrous things did he make you do?
  • Charming: well the first time I had to be his wingman and help him court Belle
  • Charming: and now I had to give Belle a tape that he recorded some poem on or something
  • Hook: wait, that's all? You still have your heart and everything?
  • Charming: of course
  • Hook: and he hasn't tried to kill you?
  • Charming: no...
  • Hook: or made you kill anyone?
  • Charming: what? No!
  • Hook:
  • Hook:
  • Charming: what?
  • Hook: *grits teeth* nothing
The real reason they didn't put the crocodile on that tombstone.
  • Killian: Can’t we just write Crocodile?
  • David: I'm pretty sure it has to be a real name. What about Gold?
  • Killian: Do *you* know his first name?
  • David: Mr?
  • Killian: *long suffering sigh*
  • David: I'm pretty sure there is a Z in there somewhere. Rum...pel...stilt...zkin?
  • Killian: There is no Z in there.
  • David: I don't see you doing much better, pirate. You’ve been trying to kill him for centuries and you can’t even spell his true name?
  • Killian: I didn’t exactly write it down, Dave. IT WAS ATTEMPTED MURDER, NOT A LOVE LETTER.